Newspaper Page Text
4
ChcHXornirto(?lfhJS
Morning News Building.Savannah.Oa
FRIDAY, MAY 18. 1894.
f." .-LL:_=ci-
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York City. C. S. Fadumr. Manager.
INDEX TO NEW ADVERTISEMENTS.
Meetings-Landrum Lodge, No. 48, F. & A.
M ; Tammany Club.
Special Notices—Cut This Out, Henry
Solomon & Son: Matchless Cigars. D. H.
Schuenemann; Stolen, John Scarborough;
Oranges. Henry Solomon & Son; Notice, F. J.
Buekert.
Amusements—The Nineteenth Annual Re
gatta Savannah Yacht Club, May 28.
Remnants Friday—Leopold Adler.
Your Son’s Appearance Can Be Great
ly Improved—Appel & Schaul.
Something In Sox—B. H. Levy & Bro.
Railroad Schedules—Savannah, Florida
and Western Railway; Jacksonville, Tampa
and Key We9t Railway.
Steamship Schedules—Ocean Steamship
Company.
Auction Sales—Furniture, Etc., by J. H.
Onponheim & Son.
Cheap Column Advertisements—Help
Wanted; Employment Wanted; For Rent,
For Sale; Lost; Personal; Miscellaneous.
Judge Hines said some time ago that if
the populists nominated “decent” candi
dates and adopted a strong platform he
might take sides with them. He probably
thinks they have met his provisos to the
letter.
The New York board of health has
taken steps to stop the sale to children of
candy in a certain form known as “brandy
drops.” It has been discovered by an
alysis that half a dozen of these drops
contain “as much alcohol as an ordinary
cocktail.”
There is something peculiar about the
appearance of the name of Thomas E.
Winn in the platform committee of the
populist convention. If we remember
correctly, it has not been very long since
Air. Winn was giving assurances that he
was a democrat.
Chief Arthur, of the Brotherhood of
Locomotive Engineers, declared in a re
cent address that his organization is in
favor of compulsory arbitration of all
labor difficulties. Congress, he thought,
should create a national board of arbitra
tion for the settlement of railroad dis
putes, and thus “prevent disastrous
strikes.”
, It seems that Buttz’s bid for Senator
Kyle’s vote was *15,000 instead of *150,000.
Sp far from valuing the populist's vote at
six times as much as that of Senator
Hunton, the alleged briber considered it
worth only a little more than half as
much as the democrat's. A peculiarity of
the business is that Senator Kyle, an ex-
Congregationalist preacher, should have
been pitched upon as a man to “fix.”
This has been an extraordinary week
for big fires. Following the great fire in
Brooklyn came disastrous conflagrations
in Boston and New York, and now, as
will be seen by our dispatches this morn
ing, Boston has been again visited. The
fire there Tuesday destroyed IST buildings
and made 4i>7 people homeless. The dis
aster of yesterday wiped out a great
warehouse and more than *1,000,000 worth
of property.
It is noticeable that Mr. Watson did not
address his populist followers as “friends
and fellow citizens,” after the ancient and
accepted formula; he saluted them as
“comrades.” Now, that is the way sol
diers are addressed; Carl Browne and
Coxey always say “comrades” when they
address the common wealers. Carl Browne
sometimes varies the salutation by saying
“fellow dogs,” but that is Carl Browne’s
idea; “comrades” is the correct thing in
the armv.
t A_ ——
The Bland boom for the presi
dency, which Gov. Stone launched
on Tuesday, may now be said to
be fairly afloat, in so far as it is possible
for the Missouri silverites to float it. But
the democracy of the country will not
get into the Bland craft. If he is the
“good western man” the St. Louis Re
public has been shouting for so long, the
democracy will prefer to be piloted by
some good eastern man, who stands,
with Cleveland, for sound money and
other democratic principles.
A novel wedding took place in New
York a few days ago. A drummer in bad
health was ordered by his physician to
Texas, in the hope that he would be ben
efited by the change. He had been en
gaged to a young woman in New York for
five years. When he had been in Texas
a short while his fiancee received a tele
gram saying he was dying, and wished to
■marry her by proxy. Details were ar
ranged by wire, and the ceremony, with
the bride’s cousin as proxy for the groom,
was performed according to the rites of
the Catholic church. The dying groom
was telegraphed of his marriage, and at
once made a will leaving everything he
possessed to the bride. The following
day the poor fellow died. The marriage,
it is stated, was not a mercenary one, as
the bridegroom left little or no property.
Proxy marriages are unusual, though
under extraordinary circumstances the
Catholic church sometimes sanctions
them.
Getting Nearer the Platform.
“Silver Dollar" Bland is beginning to
understand the silver plank in the na-
I tional democratic platform if he is the
author of the silver resolution adopted by
: the state democratic xonvention of Mis
! souri. Wednesday. He attended the con
vention for the purpose, it is said, of sha
ping the convention's action on silver, and
the dispatches stated that after the reso
lution had been adopted he was smiling
and happy. The resolution, however, is
by no means in harmony with the silver
legislation he has been proposing in con
gress. If the convention had been will
ing to approve Mr. Bland's record on sil
ver it would have adopted a resolution
something like this; “Resolved, that we
demand the free coinage of silver at the
ratio of 16 to 1.”
The convention, however, adopted no
such resolution. The resolution it did
adopt calls for the free coinage of silver
at such a ratio or upon such terms as will
give the silver dollar the same debt pay
ing power as the gold dollar.
It is apparent that the democrats of
Missouri do not want a debased currency,
They are in favor of sound money. Mr.
Bland's teachings have not had the effect
of blinding them to the disastrous conse
quences that would follow the adoption
of the free coinage of silver at the ratio
of 16 to 1.
The declaration of the Missouri demo
crats in respect to silver is a substantial
acknowledgment that the financial posi
tion of the administration is correct and
impregnable. There can be no free coin
age of silver until provision is make for
maintaining parity between the two
money metals.
They Are Making a Mistake
The republican senators, hacked up by
the republican newspapers, entertain the
belief that they can prevent the demo
crats from passing the tariff bill. They
ax - e mistaken. The democrats are going
to pass the bill. They have got to pass
it. They understand that a failure to do
so would cause them to lose control of the
government and keep them out of power
for years.
It is admitted that the democratic
senators are disappointing the country.
They are lacking in force and leadership.
They should have taken up the tariff hill
when it came from the House and pushed
it to a vote vigorously. If they had acted
with courage and determination the bill
would have been almost ready for the
President’s signature by this time.
But they will pass the bill. There is
no doubt about that. They will pass it
if they have to hold congress together
until the snow flies, as Senator Vest said
the other day.
.And it may be passed much sooner than
is expected. Just as soon as it is perfectly
clear that the democrats are united, the
opposition to the bill will cease. The re
publicans will stop discussing the meas
ure and let it come to a vote. They are
hoping now that the democrats will not
agree—will never get the bill in such a
shape that it will command a majority.
They will be disappointed.
The democrats will agree, and they will
agree before very long. The pressure
that is brought to hear upon those who
are holding out for more concessions is so
great that they will not dare to resist it
much longer. And when an agreement is
reached there will not be as much oppo
sition from democrats and democratic
newspapers to the bill as there is now.
A tariff bill will be passed and signed
by the President before congress ad
journs. That is about as certain as any
thing can be that is not absolutely set
tled.
New Light for Mcßride.
Comparatively little progress has been
made toward settling the great coal
strike. There is some talk of a scarcity
of coal in a few lodalities, and doubtless
fears of a scarcity exist.
Mcßride, who organized and ordered
the strike, is beginning to find out that
the coal operators are not particularly
anxious to have the strike declared off.
Many, if not the majority of them, were
running their mines at a loss, and were
rather glad when the burden they were
carrying was lifted from their shoulders
by the miners themselves.
It now looks as if the miners have no
chance of getting the wages they demand
until the scarcity of coal forces an in
crease in its price. How long before that
condition of affairs will occur cannot be
stated with any degree of accuracy.
A question of much more importance
to the miners, however, is this: If there
is an increase in the price, will the in
crease be permanent? It will if there is
a revival of business. If business con
tinues stagnant it will not, because the
demand for coal will not be anywhere
near as great as the supply.
It is a question whether most of the
miners are not beginning to think they
made a mistake in inaugurating a strike
at this time. The operators were paying
as good wages as they could afford—bet
ter in many instances—and they will not
consent to a rise in wages until the mar
ket for coal improves. In the meantime
the miners are earning nothing. Even if
their wages should be slightly increased
it would take them a long time to make
up what they have lost during the time
they have been idle, and, besides, in such
dull times as these there is always dan
ger of the stoppage of work or a reduction
of wages.
The time to demand an increase of
wages is when business is very prosper
ous and labor and the products of labor
are in demand. Unfortunately too many
labor organizations are not controlled by
men of common sense and sound judg
ment.
The Philadelphia Press, republican,
commenting on political affairs in the
southern states, says “In Georgia also a
hot contest is proceeding for the guber
natorial nomination, and at present it
looks as if Gen. Evans, who is supported
by the Atlanta Constitution, will win. As
that newspaper is outspoken in its opposi
tion to Mr. Cleveland, it is natural to con
clude that its candidate is of the same
frame of mind.” We are pleased to be
able to inform the Press that its con
clusion is altogether erroneous. Gen.
Evans is a democrat, and stands upon the
Chicago platform, the same upon which
Mr. Cleveland stands. Throughout the
state the county democratic organizations
are indorsing the President and the ad
ministration. The anti-Cleveland demo
cratic sentiment in this state is insignifi
cant. Whatever else the Georgia state
convention may do, it will indorse the
President and ratify the Chicago plat
form.
THE.MORNING NEWS: FRIDAY, MAY IS, 1894.
The Populist Ticket.
It was pretty well understood before
1 the meeting of their convention that the
populists would nominate Judge J. K.
Hines for governor. They had no other
man in their ranks who could command
what little strength the party has. except
Mr. Watson, and he did not intend to
waste his time in a contest he knows will
I result in overwhelming defeat. Judge
| Hines is a man of considerable ability, and
is said to be a pretty good stump speaker.
He can amuse himself this summer, there
fore. in teaching the doctrines of the pop
ulists.
Unless he is a better populist, however,
than be was a few weeks ago, when he
announced that he might join the Populist
party, he will not he a very good teacher.
If he was correctly reported at that
time he was not in full sympathy with
the populist demands. He must smother
his convictions and accept the entire pop
ulist, platform now, however, or else he
will be repudiated by the populist leaders
upon whom he depends for assistance.
It must be rather humiliating to the
populists to have to accept such a very
raw recruit as their leader. The nomina
tion of Judge Hines is an acknowledge
ment of weakness. In no other respect
could they have so cleariy admitted, ex
cept by making no nomination at all. that
they do not consider they have much
strength.
Asa matter of fact they haven’t much
strength. In some of the counties they
can muster a good many votes, but in
many other counties they have hardly a
corporal’s guard. It is doubtful if they
can carry a single county in the state.
In South Georgia, where they had a good
many voters two years ago, their party is
now almost unknown. Their strength is
mainly in North Georgia, where, they
have received a good deal of encourage
ment from democratic sources.
The democracy will not be disturbed in
the least by the campaign of the populists.
There are not nearly as many populists in
the state to-day as when Gov. Northen
was elected, and they suffered a crushing
defeat. The demonstration they made at
Atlanta during their convention means
nothing. They made an effort to have a
crowd present and they got together all
the populists they could from the sur
rounding counties. Judge Hines will
have the satisfaction of having been a
gubernatorial candidate, but he hasn’t
the remotest chance of being Gov.
Northen's successor.
Dangerous Cranks.
There are many cranks among the
Coxeyites. The majority of them are
harmless, but some of them are danger
ous. It is necessary, therefore, that the
authorities should keep a careful watch
upon all of them, because it is not always
possible to distinguish the harmless ones
from those that are dangerous.
A few days ago a New York detective
received information that the purpose
of some of the cranks in the Lincoln,
Neb., branch of thecommonweal “army,”
commanded by a man named Duff, that
left Omaha for Washington Monday, was
to assassinate President Cleveland.
The governor of Nebraska was notified
of the purpose of these cranks,
and it was suggested that it
would be advisable to have Duff's "army”
dispersed. The governor answered that
unless the “army” committed some of
fense it would be impossible to check its
progress toward Washington. He ex
pressed the opinion, however, that it
would not reach its destination.
Precautions will be taken, of course,
against’ permitting the cranks in Duff’s
“army” to get close to the white house.
The safety of the President is carefully
looked after. It is a remarkable condi
tion of affairs, however, that it is neces
sary for the President to be on his
guard all the time against irresponsible
men, who are being led to the national
capital by those whose chief purpose, is
to gain a little cheap notoriety, and it is
still more remarkable that such men
should have defenders among senators
and representatives, and should even be
sustained by a very considerable number
of people.
The populists of the congressional dis
trict in Ohio in which Coxey lives have
nominated him for congress. That act
justifies the conclusion that Coxey has
the sympathy and approval of the pop
ulists of Ohio. Indeed, there is ground
for saying that the populists in all parts
of the country regard him and his move
ment with favor. If it were not so, pop
ulist senators and representatives would
not be found defending Coxey, not only
in congress, but also in the police court of
Washington.
It is not likely that the President will
be a victim of any of Coxey’s tramps, but
the fact that he is in danger of violence
at their hands makes it clear that there
ought to be some lawful way of checking
such a movement as that started by
Coxey,
One after another the various “com
monweal armies” throughout the country
are appearing under their true colors.
Two or three days ago Galvin threatened
to turn his men loose upon a town if they
were not forthwith supplied with what
they wanted; various “armies” have
seized trains and defied the authorities,
and now Kelley’s army, in lowa, one of the
largest of the aggregations, has precipi
tated a fight with guards who attempted
to keep the men within bounds. Those
fellows have been dealt with too gently.
Instead of bringing a picayunish. farcical
case against Coxey, for walKing on the
grass, the District of Columbia authori
ties shouid have handled him without
gloves for leading a body of vagrants into
the district and attempting to make a
speech from the steps of the capitol; then
his following should have been dispersed.
Such action would have been quickly fol
lowed in like manner by local authorities
elsewhere. But the milk-and-water pol
icy of the Washington authorities seems
to have frightened the authorities else
where. They looked to the capital for a
precedent in dealing with anew evil, and
got one not much short of absolute worth
lessness.
When one Chinese highbinder wishes
to injure another highbinder in the man
ner that will hurt him most, he destroys
his property. The highbinder’s most sen
sitive point is his purse. In San Fran
cisco Chinese women are valued at SI,OOO
to sl.-00 each. Recently two Chinese
women, the property of rival highbinders,
have been murdered. The police believe
that in each case the woman was killed
in order to inflict pecuniary loss upon her
owuer.
The latest information with regard to
the registration of Chinese makes the
situation rather ludicrous. In their ef
forts to please the “Melican man.” the
Chinese have over-registered; that is,
more written permits to reside in the
United States have been secured in
Chinese names than there are Chinese
laborers in the country. The law does
not require merchants, diplomats and
professional men to register, but if all of
the Chinese of those classes in the coun
try were to register the number would
still fall several hundred short of the
number of certificates issued-that is, if
the last census is to be depended upon
and the exclusion laws have been en
forced. There are two ways of account
ing for the over-registration. One is, the
wily celestials have “repeated,” in order
to get certificates to send home to their
friends who wish to try their fortunes
here. The other is that hundreds of
Chinese have been smuggled into the
country despite the exclusion laws.
It is claimed by the Pacific slope sena
tors that they have the new Chinese
treaty beaten; that it will not be ratified
by the Senate. Representatives of west
ern labor unions have lately been in
Washington lobbying against the treaty,
and it is alleged their efforts have been
successful. The argument they used
principally is that the country has enough
of cheap and idle labor, and that a fresh
influx under the treaty would only add to
the prevailing distress. It is alleged that
when the vote on the treaty is taken it
will lack twelve votes of the two-thirds
vote necessary to its ratification. If this
rumor is correct, the senators should be
consistent and see that the doors of the
ports are closed against cheap labor of
other nationalities as well as against the
Chinese.
Winners of world’s fair medals and di
plomas will reap but little benefit from
their possession, since their reproduction
for advertising purposes is forbidden by
law. The office of a Chicago printing
firm was the other day raided by the
chief of the secret service, who seized a
cut of a diploma which had been printed
in a magazine. Firms that are publish
ing cuts of medals and diplomas in cata
logues are violating the law, and the
secret service has ordered the practice
stopped. The extreme penalty is a fine
of $5,000 and tdn years’ imprisonment.
The famous Cronin murder case, in
Chicago, has developed a romance.
When “Dan” Coughlin, tho ex-detective,
was on trial, Mrs. Foye, wife of an al
leged co-conspirator with him, testified to
certain facts against Coughlin that tended
to incriminate her husband. Foye left
the woman because of her testimony,
which he declared to be perjured. Cough
lin was acquitted by the jury. One of
the first things he did after his release
was to attempt a reconciliation between
the Foyes. And at last he has been suc
cessful.
Certain of the leading lawyers of New
York do not take kindly to the proposi
tion to come before the constitutional
convention of that state relative to im
paneling thirteen jurors instead of twelve,
the thirteenth to have no voice in deter
mining the verdiqt except jn case of the
disability of one <>l the twelve. 'They say
the thirteenth juror would be as expen
sive in the long run as the infrequent re
trial of a case is now.
Hard times have struck the highway
men of New Jersey. A few days ago a
New York drummer went over to Hack
ensack and started on a bicycle to Ten
afly. On the road he was held up by
two highwaymen, who insisted upon hav
ing not only his wheel and his purse, but
his shoes, coat and shirt. The drummer
says the fellows looked like they really
needed the duds.
CUUBENT COMMENT.
An Opinion of the A. P. A.
From the Chattanooga Times (Pom.).
Investigate, scratch off the dust, wipe away
the foam from the American Protective Asso
ciation body and our word for it vou will tind
some amt Itions republican politician, to re
ward your search.
Pretty Much Everything Waiting.
From the Houston (Tcx.i Post (Dcm ).
The Washington Post observes that the
Democratic party is not troubled with a iot
of premature ami fussy Presidential booms.
Certainly not. The democratic booms are
waiting to see what will be done with the tar
iff measure.
"Billy, the Dandy.”
From Springfield (Mass.) Republican (Ind. i.
Senator Chandler's antics in the Senate
last week called out the admiration of 'lom
Reed, who is credited with having said
■Billy certainly is a dandy." If Billy" is a
dandy, is he a statesman, too - If so, he is
the dandy statesman of the Senate.
A Georgia Weekly’s Opinion.
From the Covington tinterprise <Dem).
Wo believe that President Cleveland stands
fairly and squarely upon the defnocratic plat
form, and have not for a moment lost con
fldeme in his patriotism, honesty and ndelty.
It would suit us to support a man for the
legislature who would not hesitate to tell the
people that Grover Cleveland was elected
President on the democrat ticket and is en
titled to the support and encouragement of
the Democratic party.
Stirred Up by Gordon.
From the Philadelphia Inquirer (Rep ).
There might have been a change of rules
when the Sherman act was up for discussion.
A majority of the republicans were reau.v to
agree to such changes as would limit debate
atter a certain time, but the democratic stick
lers refused to enter into any such an under
standing Now it is too late. There can be
no closure except by brute force. The debate
must go on and the tariff bill must be beaten,
if such a thing is possible.
Kicking About Oconee.
From the Atlanta Journal (Dem).
Just such conduct as the Oconee county ex
ecutive committee was guiltv of last Satur
day. in usurping tne rights of the people to
select delegates to the state convention, has
disgusted many a democrat and led men to
go into the third party camp. Courthouse
rings and backroom caucusses have had their
day in Georgia politics. The people are going
to tie-heard from on all public question. The
court house politician will soon be out of a
job.
Enough to Shake Faith.
From the Albany (Ga.) Herald (Dem.).
Gen. Kvans is a Methodist preacher and
Col. Atkinson is an elder in the Presbyterian
church. If the general gets through the
gubernatorial campaign without falling from
grace, and Col. Atkinson emerges from the
contest without having U|s faith shaken in
the justice and unvarying Uttiess of tne doc
trine of election, they will have cause to con
gratulate themselves. 1 hey are both in an
atmosphere just now lhat would seem to be
any thing out congenial to scrupulous Chris
tian spirits.
Hicks—By the way. you remember. Jennie
Draddlesr Well, she has been traveling
about the country under an assumed name,
and with a married man, too.
, Wicks lhe deuce: You don't mean it?
Who is the man?
Hicks- The man? Oh. yes: he Is her hus
hand. It was his name she assumed before
starting out. Transcript.
Thr3w It At Blaina.
Numerous stories have been told during the
lifetime of James G. Blaine to show his
wonderful memory for names and faces.
A Pittsburg Dispatch reporter heard of an
incident recently that deserves to be pub
lished. It Illustrates the point in question,
even if the participants are dead.
The late Joseph Brown, the Pittsburg iron
manufacturer, some years ago was tourney
ing by train from Saratoga to the White
mountains. At an obscure point.in Vermont,
the train stopped, and a white-haired, dis
tinguished looking man got on board Mi-
Brown noticed that a number of people had
gathered at the depot to see him off. but it
did noteccur to him at the time that the
stranger was prominent in public life. As the
express moveu along at a lively clip. Mr.
Brown observed that the white-haired man
irequently looked back through the car
Finally he walked down the aisle, and hold
ing out his hand. said. How are you. Joe •"
Mr. Brown looked at the visitor and simply
said, - I don’t know you."
1 am not surprised." the stranger an
swered "but I could pick you out of 10.0 0
men. I never forget anybody. Allow me to
refresh your memory. Joe. '
Do you remember playing ten pins once
upon a time at Washington. Pa . when vou
were a youngster, and you got mad and threw
your watch at another toy who made you an
gry. -1
Surely, you can t be Jim Blaine.” Mr.
Brown replied, for I remember destroying a
watch on him when at school."
It was Jim Plane, of course, and Mr. Brown
and the statesman spent several pleasant
hours reviewing theli schoolboy days. Mr.
Brown, in explaining the story later, said he
was playing ten pens at Washington when
his shoe became untied and he stooped to
fasten the string. While in the bent position
young Blaine, who was a student, came along
and gave him a lively kick. It made him so
angry that when he st: a ghtened out and saw
who had done it he unloosened his silver
watch from the chain and threw it at Blaine.
The timepiece was ruined, but neither Blaine
nor Joe Brow n had forgotten the incident.
A Story of Bald Heads.
Four hald headed men asked Manager
Harry Powers, of Hooley's, if he had any ob
jection to selling them o box. says the Chi
ca/o Herald. Of course he had no objection,
ar.d they took one.
Why did you think I would object?" he
asked
• They objected at one theater unless we
could bring along someone who had hair on
his head,"
How did they know you were all hald?"
"We gave it away. We said we wanted a
box for four bald headed men, and the man in
the box office said no."
"Why, I never heard of such a thing.” said
Manager Powers T would sell every box
in Hooley's to bald headed men if they came
first."
Well, the man in the box offered to com
promise. Said he would sell two of us a box
and put two of us in the front row.”
"And you refused?"
“We did 'Cause the two that wanted the
box wouldn’t agree to the front row "
"I can t understand it."
“Weil, we threatened to sue the house and
the man in the box office put a t.oy in his
place and came out and explained. He said
three members of the company were bald
headed and wouldn t wear wigs. The leader
of the orchestra was bald, and he wouldn t
wear a wig. Th ) proprietor of the house was
t aid. and he had sent down word that he
would be down with a couple of bald headed
friends to occupy his box. The c\)iet usher
had come in and to and him that he had nine
hald heads in the king row already, 'the
hoy that sells opera glasses had the scald
head. And then he said: Gentlemen, we
can t take any chances. The best advertiser
on the bill of the play is the man who raise s
hair for a living, and it we fill the house with
bald heads it will seem as if we were trying
to run our theater against the hair store. It
may seem a funny sort of situation, but it
can t be done this evening. "And here we
are.”
The four men told the story without chang
ing a muscle of their faces. <
A Queer Revenge.
“I never heard of professional laughers ex
cept here and In New York city," said the
manager to the Chicago Times, and there is
only one. so far as I know, in Gotham. He
bothered me copsiderably when 'Charley's
Aunt’ was in Its first weeks, hut I had no use
for him. Bo he got mad and would pay his
wav into the theater and try to queer the
piece by laughing in his odd way at the
wrong places in the play. When there was a
nice, quiet love scene-and there are many
love scenes in 'Charley's Aunt —he would
squeeze out a sharp little sigh as If he were
laughing himself to death and then the whole
house would laugh at him. A professional
laugher knows how to do that to per
fection. He cuts his laugh loose and lets it
knock against the welkin, but it is not the
loudness of his laugh that wins—it s
the way he handles it, He laughs with the
audience ot course, hut when they get
through he has a good little blast or two left
in his cheeks and he gives these with artistic
expression. This lingering laugh catches the
audience and the people laugh anew. Then
the professional sobs out, 'Oh, my! ’ and you
think he is giving his last gasp and dying a
glorious caci hinatory death, and tha audience
cannot do otherwise than laugh again. And
so it goes all night, the audience really laugh
ing with and at the professional, and not at
the play. 1 used to have this professional
ejected from the theater every time I found
him there. We didn't need any professional
laughers for Charley s Aunt."
The Burglar’s Joke.
A story is going the rounds up town in
which a facetious burglar figures, to the dis
comfiture and yet the relief of a gentleman
who lives in the vicinity of Eighteenth and
Wallace streets, says the Philadelphia
Record. The residence was closed during
Easter, the entire family having gone to At
lantic City. When they returned the house
was discovered to have been broken into, and
everything was turned topsyturvy, ’the
most eqreful search, however, failed to dis
close where anything had been stolen, and
the supposition was that the thieves
had been frightened off while at their
work. But the true facts were de
veloped when a carefully worded and
well written note was found upon the dining
room table, in this epistle the facetious
burglar had taken the pains to assure the
ewner of the pronerty that nothing had been
taken away. We have „ tested your silver
ware." the note explained, and find it to
be plated, Your curtains are of an inferior
quality, and the jewelry, such as vour wife
ana daughters possess, is scarcely worth car
rying off. We had expected better things of
you." Although greatly relieved the gentle
man of the house could not conceal his cha
grin, and now that the story has leaked out
he doesn't like it a bit.
Hand in Hand.
Maurice Thompson in the Independent.
When spring was voune and life was new.
Love was our only friend and guide;
Sweet were the bowers he led us through,
And sweet our going side by side.
Then summer came, a golden flood.
And still we followed hand in hand;
Love was the music in our blood,
And love the glory of the land.
Rich autumn fell, and winter drove
The fruity ripeness from the air;
But wrapped in warm, soft robes of love.
What recked we if the world was bare?
So round again we come to spring.
Strong for another year s emprise;
The birds are whist to hear us sing,
The sun is dazzled by our eyes.
For. hand in hand, where'er we go.
Earth under foot and heaven above;
Love is the only life we know.
And every breath we breathe Is love.
Nodd—l wish I could cure my wife of dys
pepsia. i
qodd—Why don't you get a sen-ant girl to
do your cooking—Truth.
_ Wu KUnucri
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ITEMS OF INTEREST.
Many years ago there was deeded by a Mr.
Smith to the city of St. Lous a tract of land
to be used perpetually for park purposes. In
the event that it should l*e diverted from that
purpose it was to revert to his heirs. I he city,
some years ago. erected the new city hall on
the land, and now the heirs come forward
with a claim for 830,000, which the city is
about to pay.
Do you know that ants have cows, from
which they draw milk'- You can see the
cows if you look for them, says Demorest s
Magazine. Sometimes you see the ants run
ning up and down a small bush, lot may
wonder what they can be doing. Look closely
at the bush and you will see a numberof green
bugs on the leaves. These are the plant louse,
or the anis' cows. The ants run a out among
the bugs, touching them with their feelers,
and seeming very happy indeed. They are
milking their cows when they do this. Ants
keep other insects besides the plant louse,
which they feed and are kind to. and their
prisoners seem contented. Sometimes they
keep a large blind beetle, which is never
allowed to leave their cell. They bring it
such food as it needs, and kindly put the
same into its mouth. The beetle, in return
for such careful attention, throws out from
Its body a fluid which the ants are fond of,
and which they lick up greedily.
The ideas of "tipping" vary the world over,
says the New Y’ork Tribune. In Paris the
waiter considers that he has a legal claim to
a tip equal to 5 per cent, of the amount of the
bill. If a man eats a luncheon which costs 7A
cents the waiter is perfectly satisfied with a
’ tip" which, in American money, would
amount to 4 cents. Of course he will gladly
take more, but he is content with the 4 cents.
If a man gave a dinner which cost $4Ol the
waiter would expect 820. He looks upon that
5 per cent, as his unquestionable right, it is
us if there were a law upon the subject of
"tips." In New York there is a character
istically careless American amiability about
"tipping." In the fashionable restaurants
men who spend money freely give tips"
which amount to about Hi per cent, of their
bill. If the bill is 810 the waiter gets $1: it’ it
is 20 he gets ?2. etc. But Americans who
patronize the so-called swell resorts do not
follow a percentage rule in g.ving fees where
the amount of the bill is small. For the most
trivial service they give 10 cents. 15 cents or a
quarter of a dollar. A wealthy Frenchmau,
following the custom of his beloved Paris,
gave a waiter of the best-known restaurant
in this country who served him a light lunch
eon the Paris 5 per cent. fee. The bill was
CO cents, and the Parisian s fee was 3 cents
The waiter was so astonished that he stood
stock-still and watched the Frenchman till
he left the room.
A reduction of the cost of casting steel, iron
and other metals by 50 per cent., a great sav
ing in time, the production of castings free
from oxtdi> ation and blowholes, and. most
important of all. the production of pig iron in
mountainous and remote districts having
water power and ore. but no coal- all these
things may result from the application of
electricity, according to anew- process de
scribed in a report to the department of state
by United States Consul Mason, at Frankfort.
Germany. The process Is known as the 1 aus
sig process, and provides for melling and
casting metals l y electric heat, under the
influence of rarifieu air. An airtight furnace
lined with glazed firebrick has its
hearth connected with molds. into
which the fused metal Hows by
gravitation. The tlrebrick lining forms an
efficient insulation, and ihe electric current is
sent through the charge directly without the
use o’ any fuel or the employment of carbon
electrodes. Thereby the fused metal is nearly
pure and free from carbon, and the continued
exhaustion of the air and gases produced in
creases the fluidity of the molten material,
prevents oxidization and ulister.n:. and pro
duces dense, smoo’.h castings of the highe st
mechanical qualities. In a small experimen
tal furnace a ton and a half of pig Iron was
smelted in fifteen minutes by a current of
thirty thousand amperis and fifty volts
about two thousand horse power.
With water power the cost is very low,
and even using steam to generate the elec
tric current, there is an economy in fuel
in smelting of 30 to 50 per cent. The cost of
pig iron with ore at $2.40 per ton it is satd.
would not exceed $8 per ton with a motive
power of one thousand horse power.
The peculiar, little light colored, horny
lizard of the south and southwest, known to
the unscientific as the "horned toad." has a
peculiar habit, and one. perhaps, not pos
sessed by any other creature on the "foot
stool”—that of ejecting blood from its eyes,
says the St. Louis Republic. The genus name
of the "horned load," which Is really a lizard,
as noted above, Is Phrynosoma, and one of
the best articles on its blood sprinkling pow
ers that has ever been published appears la a
recent official publication of the National
Museum. The article is by O. P. Kay. It
appears from Mr. Hay’s observations that
irritation causes blood to spurt Irom just
above both eyes. For what purpose the little
creature thus sprinkles its enemies with
blood, the source of the sanguine jet. and how
it is expelled with such force, are the ques
tions that are now puzzling the naturalists.
It has been suggested (Popular Science
Monthly) that the purpose of the election
is to defend the ejector from attacks
of enemies, although it seems improka
bie that the discharge would senouslv
pain or even impede the enemies'
subsequent actions. Mr. Hay is of the opin
ion that the blood jet is directed toward the
eyes of enemies. Ho says: "A discharge
square into the eves of some pursuing bird or
snake might so seriously interfere with its
clearness of vision as to enable the toad to
make his escape " The determination of the
source of the blood has offered serious dif
ficulties to the investigations of the
biologists, but the most probable the
ory Is that it Is lodged in a bloou
sinus" on each side of the head, a portion of
the wall of the sinus lying on the inner sur
face of the eyelid. This sinus is supposed to
be surrounded with a muscular tissue of suf
ficient strength to hold the blood in place,
but so thin that it burs sand is thrown out
around the eye in times of anger or excite
ment. Mexicans call these little lizards
"sacred toads," because they weep tears of
blood.”
Queen Victoria gets more tips than any
other functionary in Great Britain, and, what
is more, she insists on getting them Of
course they are not called tips. They are
called perquisites; hut it is all iho same. An
ex-attache writing in the Now York Tribune
says that among the most curious of them is
her right to every whale or sturgeon captured
on the coast of the United Kingdom and
brought to land. Both of these perquisites
date tack to the days of the Norman kings
and it appears that in the case of the whale
the monsters were divided between the sov
ereign and his consort, the queen taking the
head in order that her wardrobe might be re
plenished with the whalebone needed for the
stiffening of her royal garments. Another of
the queen's baksheesh is a certain number of
magnificent Cashmere shawls, which are dis
patched to her every year from the Kingdom
of Cashmere. Th '.y vary in value, as a rule
trom *3OO to *1.2t0 apiece, and the queen i a
- to present one of them as a wed
ding present to every young girl of the
aristocracy or in whose future she is in
any wav interested. Every tailor holding a
patent of "Purveyor to Her Majesty." if he
conforms to ancient tiadition and usage
should present her with a silver needle each
year. Another class of royal purveyors is
called upon to present annually toher'a table
cloth, while from other sources again she is
entitled to an annual contribution of such
varied tips as white doves, white hares cur
rycombs. fire-tongs, scarlet hosiery, night
caps. knives, lances, and cross-bows. More
over, at the coronation, the Lord of the
Manor of Addington must present to the
sovereign a "dish of pottage" composed of
• almond milk, brawn of capons, sugar and
spices, chickens parboiled and chopped "
At the same ceremony the Lord of the Manor
ot Haydon is obliged by virtue of his tenure
from the crown to present the monarch with
a towel, the Lord of the Manor of Workshop
giving the sovereign a "right-handed glove ”
these are only a few of the various bak
sheesh to which Queen Victoria is entitled by
tradition and usage.
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are equally valuable in Constipation, curing
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they also correct all disorders of tne stomach,
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Even if they only cured
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but fortunately their gobdnesr does not end
here, and theme who once try them will find
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But after all sick head
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Cartkr’s Little Lrvaß Pills are very small
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SUMMER
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bridge across the Chattooga river on r
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Hotels: Davis House, Highlands
Central House, Islington House, *
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This well known and popular 5' 1 "”"",.,,
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Business Office Morning