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78
THE COUNTRYMAN.
bent on crushing them out. Our author
ities have tried seizure, and are thereby
driving all supplies from the market. Im-
stead of taking warning from the plain ef
fects of this course—instead of growing
wise by experience, our quack legislative
doctors persevere in pouring their nostrums
down the throat of tlm suffering patient,
and, instead of curing, are fast killing him.
Those demagogues who seize upon the
clamor of the people about high prices to
win a little temporary popular applause,
by paralyzing the industrial pursuits of the
country, will be held to a terrible respon
sibility when the effect of their short-sight
ed and selfish policy fully developes itself.
letter from Mrs. Poke.
Mr. Countryman :—In the absence of
any excitin perlitikal or military matter, I
will rite you fust comarnin a fue theeurlogi-
kil pints, an then proseed to a fue missella-
ueous items.
A fue mornins ago, I met Dr. Talmij in
the parlor of the hoetell, an lie an I had a
confab consavniu the eddycashun of niggers.
I tole the doctor my noshun war that a
beep of the niggers node too much already
for ther own good, an the white fokes’s too.
The buck niggers and nigger wenches is
jest as sassy as they ken be, ennyhow : an
eddycate ’urn, an they wilUbe ten times
gassier, an ther will be noe sicli thing as
gittiu along with am in the same kornfede-
racy.
Ther was another pint I urged upon the
doctor’s attenshun : an that war that of the
Pedo-baptis did not wish the Baptis with
out any P. to urn, to git the start of us with
the black sex, they must not l«ru urn to
reed the bible : for I never seed a nigger
yet that cood reed the bible that war not
a Baptis. Ther is an ole Hardshell nigger
livin on my plantashun, when I ar at home,
by the name of Efrum, an lie ar got a tes
tament. Evry chance lie ken git, you see
lain readin that tliar testament. Ax him
euny time you see him, what part of the bi
ble he ar reedin. an he will tell you lie ar
rcedin about John the Baptis: an the ole
cuss (so to speak) will always look at a
body an say in triumph, “ I never reeds in
my bible bout no John the Methodis, nor
John the Prispeterian, nor John thePisco-
palian—nothin hut John the B iptis: an I
argey from that, that, at fust, in the days
ot Christ, ther war no dernominashun hut
Baptis. An my noshun ar that they is rite
cunyhow.” An then Efrum is always a
talkin about gvvine down in the water an
kummin up out of the water, and he sez he
don’t see liutliin in the bible bout sprinklin
nor porin, nor lie don’t see nuthin in it bout
baptizin infance, neether. Evry pussou
that war ever baptized in the bible war a
groue pusson. “ So you see, doctor,” sez
I, “ how these shaller drafs of nollidge in
toxicates the brains of the niggers, and de
moralizes ther noshuns on the subjic of
baptism. Ef they eood only drink largely
at the high perion spring, like you and I
ken, hit wood be a diffrunt matter.”
At this, I sot back gran in my cheer, an
watched to see what effec my display of
larnin wood have on the president of a col
lege. I think he war powerfully imprest
with my literary kerpassity, an have hopes
that in considerashun of the fac that larnin
the niggers to read will make um all Bap
tis without enny P. to um, he will not want
urn tort to reed. One. thing ar sertin—he
ar not a worthy Peedo, ef he goze into this
sweepin oppyrashun of adlin to the num
bers of the Baptis without enny P. to um.
Alter I had finished talkin to the doctor
about eddycatin the niggers, I interduced
another pint to his attenshun, which I al
lowed war for the good of the Prispiterians.
You noe the Prispiterians ar got 2 dockey-
mints ritten in ther favor, kalled the West
minister cattykizziims. One ot um ar kal
led the larger cattykizzum, an the utlier
the shorter cattykizzum. Now I always
war oppnzed to takiu 2 words to say enny-
tliing, when 1 word wood do jest az well, an
particulerly when 1 word wood do a .grate
deel better. I ar alwaze sluddyin the fit
ness ot things : arrthe utlier nite az I v as
a layii», an coodn’t sleep, my mine it got to
runnin, an i coodn’t stop it. Az a matter
of coise, it run fust on Josipli and his mili
tary skemes. But by an by it run clene
thru that, an had to begin on snmthin els.
Then it tuck up the Prispiterian sinnod
what I heern war to mete in Macon in a
fue da}s. The subjic of the 2 cattykiz-
zums kuin up before ine, an I sez to myself,
flint it a pitty the Piispeterians aint got
jest 1 name for ther big cattykizzum, an 1
for tljer little cattykizzum? The big 1 ar
intended for big fokes, an the little 1 tor
little fokes : tlio akkordin to aunt Sally’s
kouipreehension, little fokes nor big fokes
neither can’t umlerstan neither 1 of the
cattykizzuu s, little nor big. Now you noe
the little one of a catty is kalled a kitty :
an ef this ar so with reffrune'e to the ani-
mils, why woodn’t it do to be so with ref-
frunee to the books ? Ef you call the big
book a cattykizzum, why not call its little
1 a kittykazzum 1 By a perfeekly logikil
emse ot reesnin, I arriv at the kornklu-
uliuu that the little book cut to be kalled
the kittylcazzum, an I determined to lay
my vues before Dr. Talmij, an git him to
lay um before the sinnod, an the sinnod
cood haV um for nuthin but a vote of thanks
az a testimonial to my hi literary reputashum
An so I akkordinly dun so. An ef rny
vues is adopted, the sinnod ken git Burke,
Boykin & Co,,to publish sum cattykizziims,
an sum kittykazznms, and dedikate the
fust edishuns to Mrs. Poke. T presented
these pints to Dr. Talmij fur him to pre
sent um to the sinnod, an I hope he will do
so. He cl idn’t say whether he wood or
not, but as he smiled while I was ptesen-
tin um to him, an as he iz every inch a
gentleman an cristian, and belecvesin the
fitness of things, I have no doubt he will.
Havin spun out my theeurlogikal pints
longer than I expected. 1 must leave out
my missellaneous pints untel mv nex.—
Yore Fren, Sally Poke.— Milledgeville,
27th Nov., 1862.
News-Mongers.
The world is so fo.r.d of gossip that it has
a regular profession devoted to its encour
agement. These babblers seem to think it
their special .mission to criticize, arraign,
and judge every one’s motives, purposes,
and acts. They never suspect any self-
deficiency—never imagine that “others
see’" them—nevei profit by mistakes—nev
er redress injuries—never make allowances.
Oh, how they cruelly pierce the heart that
is struggling against the very infirmities
which they blame ! How they slande>'the
innocent ! How they prostitute their God-
given faculties !
They build up and pull down ; pry into
and probe ; track and trace ; rummage and
ransack, in order to get something to talk
about. They will pump you, and then
pursue you ; will search you, and then stab
you ; will be a friend, to breed a feud. The)
make mountains out of mole hills, and mole
hills out of mountains. They have an ear
for everything, and everything for an ear.
They are as deadly as an asp, and yet as
deceptive as a reptile which lubricates its
victim before it destroys it. Now these tri-
flers with men’s characters are winning, in
order to be waspish ; now, fidgety, fiery ;
again, serene, sober, smiling. Of them it is
true,
“That one may smile and smile, and be a
villain.”
Such are the flippant, hateful news
mongers who “ spend their time either in
telling or hearing some new thing ” G.
J. P. D., Macon, Ga.— Many thank*
for your kind favor.