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THE COUNTRYMAN
93
Turn wold, ga., December 15, 1862.
Grumblers.
I was reading, yesterday, in a very re
markable book, which some over-ignorant
people aver has never existed : but as to
whether it exists or not, I leave for the
common sense of the reader to judge. The
copy of the work which I have before me,
was procured for me by a friend, at a great
cost, from the Caliph Haroun A1 Raschid.
The name of the curious book, is the “ Tell-
menow Isitsoornot,” written by that justly
celebrated Grand Vizer, Hopandgofetch-
it. The reader will think all this highly
nonsensical, and at the same time, foreign
to my subject: but nevertheless, it is ne
cessary that I give some account of this
book, as there are but 2 copies of it in
the new world, 1 of which 1 owu at tlie
present period.
In this book, beginning on 2d p ,cb. l,will
be found a very minute account of the dif
ferent classes of men. It speaks of grum
blers as follows :—“ These are the delicate
morsels of humanity, who cannot be pleas
ed ; who are so fastidious and dissatisfied
that all the world cannot reconcile them
to their lot. They grumble at the provi
dence of God.” (The reader will bear in
mind that I translate, veibatim et lit
eratim.') “ These men who are dis
satisfied with the state in which God has
placed them,” the work goes on to state,
“ are mostly idlers and vagabonds, though
they are formed of all classes—the rich, the
poor, the black, the white, and all.
These are a distinct race of the, genus homo.
Their dialect has a monotonous nasal twang,
sometimes loud and emphatic, at others low
and moaning. Their grammars indicate a
frequent use of the pronoun we, and such
interrogations as these: ‘What will be
come of us V ‘ what shall we do V and ‘how
are we to live, such times as these V—They
use such interrogations as these, to great
redundancy. The present war (the war
waged by Mahomet 1) has developed their
strikingly deformed character, to maturity.
So this race now stands at the head of ev
erything that is remarkable, or in the least
curious. And to prove how curious, and
yet how common they are, let me relate a
short anecdote:”
“ This race,” the book continues, “ were
first found in the Eastern Hemisphere, and
the news of their discovery spread so fast,
that it readied the barbarians of the Wes-
tern world, in a few days. But before we
were aware that the tidings had left our
own country, one of the American savages
bad already landed, and was endeavoring
to procure a specimen of these ‘ grumblers’
to place it in a Museum. Burn Him (the
writer evidently means Barnum) soon pro
cured a fine specimen, but as soon as he
saw him, he turned off with, ‘ Oh, pshaw,
plenty of them at home 1’ So you see how
common as well as curious they are.”
Here the chapter on grumblers ends, and
here my quotation ends.—It is highly im
portant that every one should read the
“ Tellmenow Isitsoornot,” as it contains
many valuable lessons : but as everyone
cannot procure a copy of it, 1 shall content
myself by occasionally presenting a chapter
to the readers of The Countryman.—J. 0.
Harris.
Politeness-Reserve.
“ That politeness which we put on, in or
der to keep the assuming and the presump
tuous at a proper distance, will generally
succeed. But it sometimes happens, that
these obtrusive characters are on such ex
cellent terms with themselves, that they
put down this very politeness to the score
of their own great merits and high preten
sions, meeting the coldness of our reserve
with a ridiculous condescension of familiari
ty, in order to set us at ease with ourselves.
To a bystander, few things are more amu
sing than the cross play, underplot, and
final eclaircissements which this mistake
invairably occasions.”
Hon. E.*Y. Hill.
“There are only a Jew men,” says the
La Grange Reporter, “ whose manners are
naturally elegant. There are only a very
feio whose suavity of manners come from
the heart, and draws one irresistibly to
them. We have seen but few persons in
whom there was not, at times, something
repulsive, even when they are naturally
endowed with the gifts of a good heart,
and a generous and noble nature. The
most remarkable instance of natural and
inartistic elegance of manners which ever
came under our own limited observation,
was in the person of our late fellow-cifcrzen,
the Hon. Edward Y. Hill. His intercourse
with all men was ever cordial, unostenta
tious, and affable. His natural, dignified,
and courteous demeanor to the humblest
man, the slave not excepted, was the em
bodiment of all that was elegant and re
fined in the highest sense of the term. Such
a man we honor while living, and revere
his memory when dead.”
“ We are much nearer loving those who
hate us, than those who love us more than
we desire.”
Confederate Constitution.
“A New Yorker writing in Frazer’s
Magazine, says hut for the 5th wheel of an
‘ electoral college’ it is impossible to im
prove on the Confederate Constitution :
Admitting the theory of self-government
upon which this Constitution is founded to
be the best possible system for ‘ promoting
the greatest good of the greatest number,’
we know not where to look for anything
wiser or freer in the shape of an organic in
stillment of government. It contains the
saving element of English conservatism
strained, as it were, through the hands of
Washington and Hamilton, with a liberal
infusion of the democracy of France admin
istered by Jefferson, Madison and Monroe.
Conservative, yet elastic, it restrains with
out oppressing, and protects, without in
fringing, the equal rights and liberties of
an equal people. It is eminently calcula
ted in every provision and feature to ‘ es
tablish justice, insure domestic tranquility, =
and to secure the blessings of liberty’ to the
present and future generations ; ‘ a combi
nation and a form,’ of Government that the
proudest citizen of the Confederacy may
be equally proud to administer or support—
to execute or obey.— Esto perpetua.”
Glory and Vain Glory.
<• The Christian does not pray to be de
livered from glory, but from vain-glory.
He also is ambitious of glory, and a candi
date for honor. But glory, in whose esti
mation ? honor, in whose judgment 1 Not
of those, whose censures can take nothing
from his innocence; whose approbation can
take nothing from his guilt, whose opinions
are as fickle as their actions; and their lives
as transitory as their praise ; who cannot
search his heart, seeing that they are igno
rant of their owu. The Christian then seeks
Ms glory in the estimation, and his honor
in the judgment of Him alone, who,
‘ From the bright Empyrean where he aits,
High throned above all height, casts down his eye,
His own works, and man’s works, at once to view.”
Civil and Criminal Codes of England.
“ England, with a criminal code the most
bloody, and a civil code the most expensive
in Europe, can, notwithstanding, boast of
more happiness and freedom than any oth
er country under heaven. The reason is,
ttiat despotism, and all its minor, ramifica
tions of discretionary power, lodged in the
hands of individuals, is utterly unknown.
The laws are supreme.”
“ Our wisdom is no less a.t fortune’s mer
cy than our wealth.”
“ In jealousy thero is less love than self-
love.” *