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The Semi-Weekly Journal
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THURSDAY. FEBRUARY «. t«5.
So wa will have to eat our pretzels all
by ourselves.
Never mind, the crown prince of Japan
will be over soon.
Ben Tillman threw another bottle of
vitriol in the senate’s face yesterday.
A New York couple waited 13 years and
then had triplets. ‘There it goes—but
what's the use?
All persons who want the Congressional
Record 32 worth should communicate with
Senator Bacon.
The idea in congress appears to be
that a high tariff is the handmaiden of
annexation in Cuba’s case.
And the crown prince of Siam will also
be over shortly, so we may yet be able
to take a turn with royalty.
Horace Greeley’s advice might be para
phrased to read. Go east, young man,
and blow up with the country.**
And now some people seem to feel called
upon to try to wean the Hon. James
Smith away from a pastorial life.
A Missouri judge has decided that bet
ting on a horse race is not "taking a
chance.” This has been our experience.
Prince Henry evidently believes in
spending his Sundays in absolute quietude.
He is to spend the day in Chattanooga.
A horse named Death has been winning
all the races down tn New Orleans. And
yet some people insist there is nothing in
a name.
Candidate Guerry should reflect that he
is liable to run across a member of the
late lamented legislature In every county
ia Georgia.
That Pittsburg jailer whose wife ran
away with two murderers has a right to
feel that insult has been added to injury
in his case
William Alien White’s recent attack of
nervous prostration has been accounted
for. He had started in to write a sketch
of Senator Tillman.
The Chinese have taken to drinking
beer since the recent invasion. Evidently
China is determined to take her civilisa
tion without a murmur.
With John*l«. Sullivan and Mrs. Carrie
Nation both appearing in “Uncle Tom’s
Cabin.** that libelous play would seem to
have met a tardy but just fate.
Up to the hour of going to press the
exploring party that was sent out to dig
up the Hon. JUn Smith’s gubernatorial
boom had not been heard from.
The war tax on beer is likely to be ta
ken off soon. So we ought to be able to
return to the good old days of the full
beer can by next summer, at the outside.
Mentioning the Declaration of Independ
ence seems to produce about the same
effect on the average administration sen
ator as shaking a red rag in the face of a
bull.
And now Kansas City comes forward
and consoles the Count de Fits Janies
with the information that Sybil Sanderson
once broke her engagement with that
town.
If the Congressional Record attempts to
give a verbatim report of the senate pro
ceedings that otherwise excellent publica
tion may soon have to be barred from the
mails.
Candidate Guerry says we were mis
taken in saying he said Candidate Terrell
had stolen his platform. Well, will some
one please tell us to whom we owe the
apology?
Since the Macon News has become the
official organ of the city, the esteemed
Telegraph seems to feel that there is
nothing left for it except to become the
official censor.
Lord Rosalyn, who recently endeavored
to break the bank at Monte Carlo with a
now “system.” has been granted a divorce.
Row. seems to be a loser in whatever lot
tery he tackles.
After mature deliberation, the Hon. J.
Pope Brown seems to be thoroughly con
vinced that a railroad commissionership
in the hand is worth more than a govern
orahi p in the bush.
A scientist has figured out that we will
all be crazy in MB years. But if the Schley
case isn’t settled soon we may be able
to give him a rebate of some 259 years
on his predlctlonu.
Candidate Guerry evidently does not
propose to bo cheated out of that joint
dispute even if ho has to exonerate Can
didate Terrell of ever having thought of
plagiarising bls platform.
An Episcopal preacher of Delaware as
serts that intemperance is Increasing
among the women of that state and de
creasing among the men. Those Delaware
women must be “peaches.”
The Biddles may have been pretty
tough customers, but their records are
white when compared with such revolting
ghoulishness as has been displayed by the
officers who arvsated them.
Whitelaw Reid is another distinguished
American who is said to have written
poetry in his younger days. But he is al
so a wholesome example of how a man
may live it down if he tries.
A press clipping bureau working by or
der at Senator Hanna collected U.<JuO edi
torial notices of the late President Mc-
Kinley, and not one of them but praised
his life and regretted his death
Oregon is now shipping yellow pine nee
dles as a filler for cigars. Another infant
industry that will have to be protected;
so ths outlook for a reduction of the tar
iff on Cuban tobacco remains gloomy.
In Ignoring politics and gratifying his
charming daughter’s desire to attend the
coronation. President Roosevelt has done
something for which fair-minded people
of all parties win admire and commend
him.
THE NEW DEPARTMENT.
The secretary who will have charge of
the department of commerce and labor,
soon to be established, will have his hands
full. The bill providing for this depart
ment passed the senate without a dissent
ing voice a few days ago. The unanimity
with which it was agreed to by that body
is due to the happy amendment offered by
Senator Bacon and adopted by the senate,
which changed the original name and na
ture of the proposed department by in
cluding in It the concerns of labor.
The new department will not be left
to grow up with the country, but will
start with enough business to tax the en
ergies and ability of another cabinet offi
cer and several assistants and to* employ
a host of clerks. It will be, tn fact, from
the moment of its inauguration, one of the
most Important executive branches of the
government. It will be made up of bu
reaus taken from the state, treasury and
Interior departments.
The bureau of foreign commerce and the
supervision of all consuls whose duties re
late especially to commercial relations
and affairs wil be taken from the state de
partment. The treasury department will
surrender the following bureaus: Life
saving service; lighthouse board; light
house service; marine hospital service;
steamboat Inspection service: bureau of
navigation and United States shipping
commissioners; bureau of immigration;
the bureau of statistics; United States
coast and Geodetic survey.
The following will be taken from the in
terior department: Commissioner of rail
roads; census office and patent office; de
partment of labor; commissioner of fish
and fisheries.
This enumeration of the functions of the
new department shows that a practical
man will be required for its proper admin
istration.
A welcome assurance comes in the form
of a well founded report that the presi
dent will appoint as the first secretary of
the department of commerce and labor not
a politician, but a successful man of af
fairs.
The establishment of this department
will aid greatly in the administration of
the government by fcileving the pressure
upon departments that are now over
worked and by providing for closer and
more particular attention to the interests
of commerce and labor.
KEEP IT UP. BRETHREN.
We print today among "Letters From
The People” a card from an esteemed
correspondent in Milledgeville who con
siders that The Journal was behind the
time in its recent editorial appeal to the
Presbyterians of Georgia to "wake up”
to the great opportunity that , is before
them to establish a university in this
state. .
He directs our attention to the fact
that The Journal informed the public
last November that the Presbyterian
synod of Georgia had unanimously re
solved that 350,000 should be raised at
once for the establishment of a college in
this state. We are also informed that
“The board has been busily at work
since November formulating plans for
an aggressive campaign” and that "We
hope to have a first class male college
in operation in twelve months somewhere
in the state."
We give publicity to this statemint and
assurance most cheerfully and trust that
the hopes of our grand Presbyterian
brother will be realised soon.
We were aware that some preliminary
steps toward the establishment of a
Presbyterian college or university were
taken at the session of the Georgia synod
last fall. but. having heard nothing of
the movement since that time we thought
‘we were doing that noble denomination
and the stgte of Georgia good service by
calling upon the Presbyterians of our
state gently, even affectionately, but
earnestly to "wake up” on this important
subject.
We are sincerely glad that the board
has been busily at work since November
and hope it has already raised the moder
ate amount of money which the synod
considered sufficient to start this great
enterprise to which the Presbyterian
church in Georgia has committed itself.
We shall be delighted to see the pre
diction of a first class college in opera
tion in Georgia within twelve months
somewhere in Georgia fully realized.
This can certainly be done if the Pres
byterians all over the state, as well as
their synod, shall wake up and keep
awake to the importance of this great
proposition.
OUR GOLD RECORD BROKEN.
The high water mark of the gold hold
ings of the United States treasury was
reached last Tuesday.,
The amount reported for that day. $545.-
139,375. was the largest ever held by the
government at one time.
It has been'only a short time since the
French government had a far larger store
of 'gold than we, but now the United
States government holds much more gold
than France and vastly more than any of
the other nations.
The comparative figures are interesting.
The gold holdings of the great European
national treasuries are as follows: French,
3478,183.000; Russian. $329,837,000; Austro-
Hungarian. $225,071,000; Bank* of England,
$172,622,000.
It is remarkable that the country whose
commercial interests and operations ex
ceed those of any other except ours
should hold so much less gold than any
other nation named in this list, less than
one-third the amount in the United States
treasury.
The extent to which credit money has
replaced coin in Great Britain in recent
years is simply phenomenal, while there
has been a no less notable accumulation
of gold in the United States.
HOMER NODS NOW AND THEN.
Senator Hoar is famous for his great
store of historical and literary knowledge
and is a great stickler for accuracy of
statement.
But that even the best Informed men
sometimes err 4-as shown by an uninten
tional misstatement which the venerable
Massachusetts senator made last Wed
nesday when he declared that the state
of Massachusetts alone furnished more
troops for the war of the revolution than
all the section south of Mason and Dixon's
line. Senator Money, of Mississippi,
took up Senator Hoar at once and very
neatly exposed the complete fallacy of
his assertion. He showed that Virginia
supplied 56.722 troops to the armies of the
colonies and South Carolina 21.131. and
that while SoutM Carolina put into the
field 37 out of every 42 of her citizens
capable of bearing arms. Massachusetts
sent only 32 out of every 42.
Mr. Hoar was badly off in his estimate
of the relative support of the war for in
dependence and his awkward attempt to
glorify Massachusetts over the south sug
gests other comparisons.
Massachusetts as a state cut a very
poor figure In the war of 1812. A very
large proportion of her people opposed
THE SEMI-WEEKLY JOURNAL, ATLANTA, GEORGIA, THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 6. 1902.
that war bitterly and many of them open
ly denounced it.
If the spirit that.then prevailed in Mas
sachusetts had pervaded the rest of the
country there wou.d have been no resist
ance to the aggressions of England. The
south furnished the one American gener
al who achieved distinguished success and
lasting fame in that struggle.
The great majority of the men who
fought the completely successful and im
mensely profitable war wljji Mexico went
from the south and west.
Both of the generals who commanded
that victorious army were from the south,
Scott and Taylor, and the former gave
it as his deliberate conviction that he
owed his success very largely to his chief
engineer, Capt, Robert E. Lee, who later
proved himself to be one of the greatest
military geniuses in all history. The ma
jority of the other officers who became
famous in the Mexican war* were south
erners, Braxton Bragg and Jefferson Da
vis being conspicuous among them.
And regarding the war of the revolution
it may be said tnat as time goes by the
more firmly set does the juugment of our
own country and that of the world be
come that the one man who could have
made the independence of the colonies
possible at that time was a southern man
named George Washington.
HON. POPE BROWN WITHDRAWS.
In a brief announcement which The
Journal reproduced Monday Hon. Pope
Brown withdraws from the contest for the
Democratic gubernatorial nomination. He
states that he cannot gain his consent to
relinquish even temporarily the business
to which he is devoted and in which he
has labored for 25 years, though he has
been strongly urged to make the race for
his party’s nomination for governor and
has been inclined to do so. *
Mr. Brown is known as one of the most
progressive and successful farmers in
Georgia, a man of fine business capacity,
high character and spotless reputation.
He has done Georgia valuable service by
his own example as a promoter of its
agricultural interests and his able admin
istration of the State Agricultural society.
He is now an honored member of the state
railroad commission, which has a strong
hold upon the regard of the people.
Mr. Brown is a citizen of whom Georgia
is proud and to whom she looks for furth
er service that will be useful to her and
creditable to him. He is yet a young man
and has an enviable future. His with
drawal from the gubernatorial canvass
will be regretted by many friends and ad
mirers, but the reasons for it and the
manner in which it is done will be ad
mitted by all to be highly creditable.
THE BILL STILL VERY BAD.
Senator Frye and his coadjutors have
reshaped their ship subsidy bill and elim
inated some of its most obnoxious provis
ions, but it retains, of course, the perni
cious principle congress should re-*
pudiate at the first opportunity.
The bill was modified in the hope of
allaying Republican opposition and catch
ing the votes of a few Democrats who,’ it
is believed, may be won over to the sup
port of the measure in its present form.
But the chances are still decidedly
against the ship subsidy advocates. Af
ter all the changes they have made in it
the bill still makes it possible for empty
ships .o collect full subsidies and they
would undoubtedly do ao. Another clause
is retained which, of itself, should be fa
tal to the bill.
It opens wide the way for foreigners to
become beneficiaries of the subsidies that
are to be paid nominally for the encour
agement of American shipping.
If a corporation is formed in ' this coun
try to buy or build ships or lines of ships
the stockholders may be foreigners and
the subsidies paid to all such ships though
paid by the people of this country may
all go to foreigners.
Another serious objection to the bill is
that it has no provision that will insure
the establishment of any new means of
communication, or prevent subsidies from
merely going to increase the dividends
of shipping Interests already established.
Furthermore there is no sufficient guar
anty that subsidies will not be bestowed
upon foreign-built ships whenever Ameri
cans may buy them and obtain special
American registry for them. That very
thing has been done repeatedly by com
panies that are urging the passage of this
bill.
The rate of subsidy for the outward
and return voyage is indiscriminate. A
ship that carries goods
receives no better bounty than one which
brings in foreign goods, or even foreign
Immigrants of the most objectionable
character.
The New York Evening Post summariz
es a whole volume of testimony in a few
words when it says:
* The history of subsidies has. on the
whole, been a history of failure. All of
the special shipping subsidies attempted
heretofore by this country have been
failures, and a study of the whole subject
will show that there is no fixed relation
between the growth of shipping and
government aid to shipping. The advo
cates of subsidy say that British su
premacy on the sea is maintained by
subsidy. The recent parliamentary in
quiry on that subject showed that both
the postal subsidy and the naval sub
vention, which iare .he only forms of
subsidy paid by’ the British government,
were considered by many British ship
owners as more of a burden than a ben
efit.” \
The steady fire in the last congress that
drove the bill to shelter for repairs is be
ing kept up without abatement and is
knocking out the measure in its patched
up form as it did the original.
JEFFERSON’S RELIGION.
The question whether Thomas Jefferson
believed in the Bible or not has been dis
cussed a long time and many persons can
be found who are equally positive on the
affirmative and the negative sides of the
issue.
Representative Lacey, of lowa, who is
a devout Christian, believes that Jeffer
son had a strong religious faith and was
very far from being an agnostic, or even
a "free thinker.”
He has introduced in the house of rep
resentatives a resolution providing for the
publication by the government of Jeffer
son’s "Life and Morals of Jesus of Naz
areth.”.
It is well known, of course, that Jeffer
son was an Industrious student of the
Bible, but this fact of itself signifies noth
ing as to his religious beliefs or his esti
mation of the character of Christ.
The late Robert G. Ingersoll was one
of the best Informed Bible students tn this
country, and he was the rtost notorious
scoffer of his day at the religion that is
based on the Bible as the word of God.
Rut Jefferson regarded the Bible very
differently fpm Colonel Ingersoll.
In a letter to Charles Thompson, writ
ten in 1816, referred to his translation of
the Evangelists In which he says:
"I have a little book which I call ‘The
Philosophy of Jesus.’ It is a paradigm of
His doctrines made by cutting the texts
out of the books and arranging them on
the pages of a blank book in a certain
order of time or subject. A more precious
or beautiful morsel of ethics I have never
seen.”
Three years later Jefferson writing to
William Short refers to "an abstract of
the Evangelists," which he "had attempt
ed too hastily some twelve or fifteen
years ago.” He adds: "It is the work of
some two or three nights only, at Wash
ington, after getting through the even
ing's task of reading the letters and pa
pers of the day.”
Several years ago the government
bought this book from a member of the
Randolph family of Virginia, and it is
now in the Smithsonian institution.
The title page is inscribed as follows in
Jefferson’s own handwriting and reads:
"The Life and Morals of Jesus of Naz
areth, Extracted Textually from the Gos
pels in Greek, Latin, French and Eng
lish.”
In preparing this book Mr. Jefferson
evidently used two copies of the New Tes
tament in each of these languages, as he
clipped and pasted freely in order to give
his idea of the way in which the life and
morals of Christ might be most effectu
ally presented.
It was a cherished plan of Jefferson to
present in parallel columns the teachings
of Marucus Aurelius. Epicurus, Epictetus
and Confucius and those of Jesus Christ.
This Intention was abandoned in 1819,
however. He said, referring to it at that
time: "With one foot in the grave these
are idle projects now.”
The "abstract from the Evangelists”
referred to contains 162 pages. On the first
column is pasted the text cut from the
Greek Testament; on the second, the
Latin; on the third, the French, and on
the fourth, the English. On the margin
of each leaf next to the English version
Mr. Jefferson notes the Gospel and the
chapter frffin which the text is taken.
The whole is a condensation of what Jef
ferson believed should be included in a
plain statement of the life and teachings
of Jesus. There is also a table of the
the texts employed in the narrative. This
table is three pages, and was written by
Mr. Jefferson. Extracts from the four
Gospels are closely interwoven in the ef
fort to make a complete and harmonious
story.
Representative Lacey has proper regard
for the limitations of our government in
such matters and does not advocate the
publication of this work of Jefferson for
the vindication and propagation of his re
ligious views, but because it is a valuable
historical study presented by one of the
greatest of American statesmen.
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.
New York Press.
Modesty never blushes at what immodesty
pretends to.
It takes a father to point an example, but a
mother to be one. •
Let not your left hand know what your right
hand does not do.
Men seldom talk when there is nothing to
say; women seldom don’t.
To a man it is queer that the nicest women
flock to the nastiest nlays.
Every man is an egotist, but only one in a
hundred knows how to back it up.
Boys and girls can get infatuated with each
other without the help Os co-education.
A man who will bring shame to his parents
will not hesitate to bring shame to himself.
In marriage it is better to be. a submissive
philosopher than a conscientious reformer.
A woman would rather be not loved but
noticed, than to be loved but not noticed.
The woman who would like to be a great
lady usually is insolent; the woman who Is
one. isn’t. r
Lending money isn’t any more risky than
speculating in Wall Street, r but, It makes more
enemies. ‘
The average man makes the
laws of his country sp that the woman in the
flat above makes not the songs.
The way to insult a woman in a’ street car
is to insist that there is room Enough for one
more when she is occupying three seats.
In a play where the* heroine's husband Is a
scoundrel, the women who see It always feel
vindicated, no matter how good their husbands
are to them or how qiuch they love one an
other.
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
Chicago News.
Uneasy lies the aching tooth that wears a
crown.
A sensible girl fears a mouse less than she
does a man.
Epicures never care much for the things they
ought t to eat. ,
Man may be made of dust, but he doesn’t
always settle.
The wife of a humorist always has a me
chanical laugh.
The almighty dollar covers a multitude of
queer transactions.
No man Is truly great unless he Is able to
retain his self-respect.
Even the self-made man is preferable to the
machine-made candidate.
It’s what people don’t know about a popular
man that makes him popular.
People who attempt to get even with each
other are apt to remain at odds.
Habit may be second nature, but is very
seldom improves on the original.
People who attempt to get even with each
other are apt to remain at odds.
True art lies not in concealing art, but
rather in selling it for a good price.
Pretty girls can see no reason why other
people should not judge by appearances.
A small but good-paying business plant Is
better than an unproductive family tree.
Man grows old before he knows it; woman
grows old before she lets any one else know It.
Woman talks to a baby just as she does to
man; she doesn’t expect either to understand
he/.
From the landlord’s point of view the man
with a large family of small children is a flat
'allure.
It is said that a clever mind reader once
read a woman's mind—but was unable to
understand it.
Insomnia Is something that keeps people
awake for the purpose of enabling them to
try to go to sleep.
Blessings could be used to better advantage
by most people were it not for the difficulty
In penetrating their disguises.
A man may be known by the company he
keeps, but he is seldom found out until about
six months after the wedding.
POINTS ABOUT PEOPLE.
Mr. Henry Blount, son of Sir Edward Blount,
recently took his thousandth trip across the
British channel. He Is a director of the
French Ouest railroad.
Hanover. Germany, now has six football
teams that play the Rugby game. They are
trying to carry out the kaiser's order not to use
English sporting terms.
Russian engineers are going to raise the level
of the Sea of Azof fourteen feet and eight
inches by building a dam nlpe miles long at
Kertch. There will be great seagates for the
passage of ships. The coast is estimated at
$25,000,000.
Major G. T. Longhorne, of the United States
army has placed on exhibition in the war de
partment at Washington a silk United States
flag presented to him by Father Francisco
Alcantara, a Filipino priest. It was made and
embroidered by natives, sewn in Manila and
embroidered in Lueban. province of Tayabas.
Thomas Wilson, of Washington, has present
ed to the Congressional library a manuscript
book on archaeology. The author of the book
was S. H. Binkley, an old western farmer,
who died in 1900 at the age of 94. The book
describes and illustrates the common utensils
of the aboriginal Inhabitants of this coun
try.
Mrs. Catherine Bowden, who died a few days
ago at Port Jervis, N. Y.. in her 85th year,
was one of the few remaning “real daughters
of tre revolution. Jabez Rockwell, her father,
enlisted tn the continental army when only 14
years old and served under Washington and
Wayne in some of the most important battles
of the war.
Miss Mary F. Acton and Martha S. Hoyt, of
Boston, the former a lawyer and the latter
the widow of a clergyman, are Interested in
a bill before the Massachusetts legislature em
powering the governor to appoint women as
"special commissioners” to perform wedding
ceremonies. The only women In Massachu
setts who now possess the right are those who
are ministers of the gospel.
Dr. George Eitel, of Chanhassen, Minn., who
has just taken a medical degree at Berlin uni
versity. has already had diplomas from the
Universities of Minnesota. Oregon. California.
Pennsylvania, Washington, Idaho and Montana.
He probably holds the record in the medical
profession. In Berlin he was bantered by the
press, which hoped that before long he would
be able to celebrate a silver jubilee on the
passing of his twenty-fifth examination.
Rev. F. C. McConnell-
Back From Cuban Trip
Rev. F. C. McConnell, Mrs. McConnell
and Miss Belle Jennings, three of the par
ty that has lately visited Cuba, the com
missioners of the Baptist Home Mission
board, have arrived from Jack
sonville, Judge George and Mrs. Hillyer
having stopped at Tampa to spend the
day. Dr. McConnell declined to make any
public statement about the results of the
commission from the board, stating that
Judge Hillyer's report will contain all the
facts and will be made in due tim> upon
his return. Dr. McConnell says he regrets
that anything should have appeared in
the public press of a sensational character
respecting the visit of the members to
their missions in Cuba.
"There is nothing connected with our
missißps of a serious character at all, nor
anything more than is common to work
of this character everywhere,” said Dr.
McConnell. “It was the duty of the cor
responding secretary of the home mission
board to visit the missions in due course
of events, and this visit has proven highly
gratifying.
“The island of Cuba is, in many re
spects, in such a condition as our own
country was found two or three years
after the war between the states. TMe
best people are quietly awaiting the for
mation of a good government. The poor
people are suffering for the actual neces
sities of life until commercial interests
are re-established. Adventurers
ing over the island.
"A little Incident in connection with
our visit will show something of this lat
ter class. On our arrival In Havana the
party secured lodging, and were assigned
rooms on Saturday *a(ternoon. Miss E.
Belie Jennings, of Lynchburg, Va., who
accompanied Mrs. McConnell and myself,
secured a room adjoining ours, and plac
ing her trunk and grip in her own room
came into our room for a chat. In a little
while voices were heard in Miss Jenning’sf
room. It was found to be a Cuban police
man interrogating an adventurer, who
had been caught in the act of opening
Miss Jenning's baggage.
“The thief was arrested and we were
Informed by a gentleman who could
speak English, that Miss Jennings must
go to the police court to testify that this
man had undertaken to rob her baggage.
My wife and I accompanied her. After
threading for a half dozen squares those
narrow and thickly thronged streets, we
were brought up in a small, though very
well kept room, where two Cuban officers
presided.
"After much Spanish talk back and
forth we were informed by an interpreter
that that court had no jurisdiction, and
they must go to another. Taking cabs the
party again began their journey through
the streets, arriving at last at another
court of a similar character and witness
ing again the same dignified but unintelli
gible colloquy between the officers outside
and bar and the officer inside the railing.
“It was now 10 o’clock Saturday night,
the first day of our arrival in Havana,
and we were beginning a court trial in a
strange city and in an unknown tongue.
The prisoner made a statement. At the
conclusion of his speech the Cuban offi
cer before whom the trial was being con
ducted, came over to a desk near where
I was standing, to take from the desk
some kind of papers, and in a low voice
said in plain English: ’Do you not wish
you were back in Virginia?’ He evidently
supposed the whole party was from Vir
ginia. Receiving a summons to appear at
court at 10 o’clock on Monday morning,
the party repaired to rest and dreams of
Cuban life.
"On Monday morning the court inform
ed us that we would not be further needed
in the prosecution of this man, as he had
appealed for jury trial, and the deposi
tion of Miss Jennings which had already
been made would be sufficient testimony.
One can .magine the relief that this bit Os
news must have given, as Miss Jennings
had been informed on Saturday night that
her detention and presence in Havana
might be necessary for three months to
come in disposing of the prisoner at the
bar. Afterwards it was learned that thia
thief was -a rathor noted one, speaking
several languagiu fluently, English being
one of them.”
OF GENERAL INTEREST.
The salarv of the corporation counsel of
Boston is $7,200. His term is one year.
The Federal census shows a preponderance
of males equal to 1.2 per cent of the total
population.
So ancient is the city of Damascus, in Syria,
that there is no record of its origin in any
written histories.
Russian experts believe that opium might be
produced successfully in the Caucasus and
many regions of southern Russia.
The weight of a cubic foot of cork Is fifteen
pounds. Cork is the bark of a species of
Spanish oak, and not properly a wood.
The Polynesian Islands are scattered over
11,000.000 square miles of sea. but comprise al
together only 170,000 square miles of land.
Starve was once to die any manner of death.
Wycliffe’s sermons tell how "Christ starved
on the cross for the redemption of men.”
The average depth of the Texas spouting oil
wells is a few feet more than a thousand and
the height to which the oil is ejected 60 to 200
feet.
Between the years 1896 and 1901 about ten
thousand foreigners took out naturalization pa
pers in France. According to the census just
completed the total number of foreignera now
resident in the country is 1,037,778.
The investigation of the fishes of the Nila
organized by the Egyptian government and
the authorities of the Natural History Mu
seum, South Kensington, has resulted in over
nine thousand species being received at the
museum.
Malay kites are being used on the French
river Moselle for towing boats. An experiment
was tried with a kite six and one-half sept
long, which towed a boat containing six per
sons and made good headway against a strong
current.
The zeze is a favorite Instrument in East
Afriea.lt is a sort of crude violin, composed Os
a bar of wood fastened to a large gourd. There
is a single string made of vegetable fiber, and
differeent tones are produced by lengthening or
shortening the string. ,
A man In Baltimore convicted of shutting
up three horses in a stable without food for
ten days, was fined $5 and costs and "severely
lectured” by the judge. The poor, starving
beasts had eaten the bottom out of their
troughs. It was pleaded that it was the man’s
first offense of the kind. •
Charlemagne was over seven feet high and
exceedingly gross in person. Sixteen men wera
required at his funeral to carry the coffin.
He had an appearance of great majesty, his
only distracting feature being a shrill, falsetto
voice, which annoyed him ao greatly that on
public occasions he never spoke aloud.
The mummy of one of the Tothmes some
years ago excited the curiosity of antiqua
rians by an appearance similar to that of
metal in the mouth. An examination showed
that the king had a set of artificial teeth, the
plate being made of wood and brass knobs or
buttons serving the purpose of upper teeth.
FOREIGN NOTES OF INTEREST.
Reports gathered show that only 441 persons
In the whole Japanese empire have amassed
fortunes amounting to $250,000 or over. The
population Is about 41,000,000.
The sultamof Turkey has six sons and seven
daughters, Who are kept in the securest se
clusion, the former never leaving the grounds
of the house in which they were born.
Professor Virchow, the pathologist, who fell
while alighting from an electric street car 1n
Berlin, sustained a simple fracture of the
thigh and a sprained hip. He will be confined
to his bed for several weeks.
Two of the 400 inscribed clay slabs found by
the German expedition in the center of Baby
lon are said to be “pearls of Babylonian liter
ature.” One of them contains a great part of
the celebrated compendium which explains the
Babylonian cuneiform characters.
Bermuda's new floating dock has been com
pleted and is to be tested in the Medway before
being towed accross the Atlantic. It is 545 feet
long and 100 feet broad, and can receive the
largest and deepest draught battleship In the
British navy.
M. Hamard, the French sculptor, has just
completed, at Paris, the model of a statue
of Marshal Rochambeau, to be presented to
the city of Washington as a companion to the
statue of Lafayette. It will be ready to send
to the United States next April.
Jay Cooke has at his home at Ogontz a num
ber of historic relics, including a fine painting
of the celebrated old Indian chief, after whom
the place is named, and who many a time
carried him. when he was a boy, on his back
In rambling along the shores of Lake Erie.
The largest excavated dock on the continent,
if not In all the world, will doubtless be the
Maasdock at Rotterdam, now approaching com
pletion.- The dock covers an area of some 150
acres and will be brought to a preliminary
depth of 14 feet, which will afterward be
dredged, to a depth of 28 feet, so that there will
be sufficient water to admit the largest steam
ships. i
The Good Thing Who Ran the
hoarding House For Luminaries
x BY GEORGE ADE.
Copyright, 1302 By Robert Howard Russell.
ONCE there was a Patient Man
who had one kind of a Wife.
Something hurt her all
the time but she couldn’t tell
just what it was. She was
afflicted with Soul-Hunger. She was
a New Woman. In fact she was one of
the Newest Women that ever came out
of a Book Store and she was Fresh
every Hour.
When the latest Fad struck Town
she appointed herself a Reception
Committee and hurried out as far as
the Railroad Bridge to welcome it. She
loved to mess around with little Clubs
Vthat went on Young Hyson Jags and
khen groped after the Whatness of
Something. If she could land in with
a dreamy Bunch and sit in a Front
Room with all the Curtains pulled
down and the Candles shaded, while a
Lady who never had ruined her Shape
read a Puzzle Paper th«it got past
every one who heard it. then the Wife
of the Plain Man thought she was hav
ing the Time of her Life.
She loved to flirt with the Unknowa
ble and occasionally take a Fall out
of the Occult.
But she had no Time for anything
she could Understand. She preferred
to sail through the Ethereal Regions
of the Bamboo Dreams, hanging by
one Toe and having a Rush of Blood
to the Head.
As suggested at the Beginning of the
Fable, the Poor Woman did not know
What hurt her but she proceeded on
the Theory that the Higher Intellec
tual Life consisted of Equal Parts of
Vertigo and Guess-Work.
All this meant Fine Business for the
Boy who In a Careless Moment had
promised to Love. Honor and Obey.
She sprang a new Series of Curves on
him every Week or two. Sometimes he
suspected that she had gone aft to the
Wheel-House but he didn’t like to say
so on account of the Children. So he
continued to play Angel to her Contin
uous Performance.
The Wife, whose Name was Azalea,
used to go out and dig up all kinds of
Geniuses and take them up to the
House and Feed them. She considered
it a great Honor to have some melan
choly Person with an unusual kind of
Hair come up to their Number and eat
about $2 worth of Food.
She and the Genius would sit at op
posite ends of the Table and ping-pong
a line of inspired Conversation that
never touched Husband at all. He
couldn't even keep Score.
Azalea never could find time for a
stralght-away Business Man who wore
a Sack Suit and ordinary Collar and
talked about what had been in the
Morning Paper. No. indeed, for she
was on the lookout for Rare Birds.
She went to a Paderewski Concert
once, and when the Artist with the
crinkly Mop leaned over the Gee Side
of the Key-Board and began to tear
off the Quarter-Notes with his Eyes
closed, it was then that Azalea tried
to climb over the Foot-Lights and steal
a Kiss.
Azalea always had a number of Mu
sical Mokes on her Staff. When she
had a Soiree, the Plain Husband would
go away back and sit down behind a
Rubber Plant or an Orange Tree
where no one could see him. He knew
that the Music was Good, but it did
not sound right to him.
Azalea did not put in all of her time
with the Muslckers. One day she came
home and said that she had discovered
the greatest Literary Genius ever born
In who would sooner or
later make Hall Caine look like 3 cents’
fferry Jenkins
• Why His ■■ Wife Went Home
BY ROYAL DANIEL.
Once there was a man named Jerry
Jenkins who was very bitter against the
world. His full name was Jeremiah
Jenkins, according to the preface to the
family bible, but as he never had seen
it spelled that way he was none the
wiser. Jerry was one of those self-ap
pointed Individuals who converted himself
to the creed that there was nothing good
In the world. He was the king-bee of
pessimism. The one particular star that
always was worthy t>f posing for the be
fore-taking picture. He was always up
against the real thing, he thought, and
he did a rag-time cakewalk to the bad.
One day he went to church just to please
his wife. He fumed and fretted six hours
beforehand to prepare especially for the
occasion. He tried to be as unpleasant as
possible. He got up at six o’clock and
Imagined all kinds of hard things to him
self. When he got to church he had
his kick thoroughly rehearsed. He
wouldn’t carry any money so he would
have an opportunity to say how embar
rassing U was to be dunned in public
when he was broke. But they didn't take
up any collection that day. Everything
pleasant possible seemed to happen. The
sermon was so short Jerry dodged when
the minister said finally and shut the
bible. In the meantime Jerry was busy
trying to find something to kick about.
He got very busy, but things were too
rode Jiim back home in their
carriage and he didn’t have to ride back
wards. either. When he got home he
was very mad because nothing had hap
pened to make him mad. He hur
to the mirror, and tried to look
unpleasant. He was so afraid »*•
might smile that he smelt the chil
dren’s cough medicine bottle to put a
bad taste in his mouth. But try as hard
as he could, he found everything pleas
ant and agreeable. Some fiendish servant
had put cologne in an empty cough hot
tl6.
The day wore on and Jerry looked hard
and wistfully into the growing twilight
for something to happen, but there was
nothing doing. The nurse broke her rule
that day and decided to keep the children
This pul Jerry out of business. He haa
Intended io make a ten-strike when his
wife should tell him it was their day to
nurse. Nursing to Jerry wasJlke It 1. to
all other men. He frequently Inflicted
most terrible cruelties upon himself by
working over time to escape the ordeal of
kindergartenlng. Whenever he felt himself
getting cheerful or looking on the bright
side of life he Just reminded himself that
another Sunday was coming. Thus it
was that he found an ever-abiding Inspi
ration to cudgel his faith in his creed of
peialuiism. , ... .
Almost despairing in the hope ’ that
something unpleasant would happen. Jer
ry betook himself to his wife’s room and
offered to discuss his finances or any
thing else unpleasant she might suggest.
She proposed that they visit some of
their friends who considered Jerry neg
lectful of his social duties. Jerry almost
smiled at the very unpleasantness of the
task Go? Y’es. Why hadn’t he thought
of it sooner! How delightfully dingy it
would be to sit like a statue for the
hours and hear women tell of automobiles
and Tam O'Shanter caps and the latest
curve In French corsets and the proper
style of fondling a dog. Glorious idea,
thought Jerry, and he frowned his hard
est, looked his sourest and inwardly
prayed that he could be quieter, cooler
and more Indifferent to things and people
than he had ever been tn his life before.
But it was an evil hour for him. At the
last moment his wife backed out. She
said she would telephone. Then Jerry
worth of Saleratus.
"How do you know he Is a Genius?**
asked the Plain Husband, who was
becoming Leery of her Finds. - .
"He told me so,” she replied, "and
he has consented to Dine here.”
"That will be sweet Billiards.” said
the Plain Husband. “When I come
home at Night all tuckered there is
nothing cheers me more than to listen
to an incipient Author with a 16 Collar
on al4 1-2 Neck.” ’
"But this one is a Remarkable Char
acter.” said Azalea. "He is so Erratic
that every one is talking about him.
He has worn the same Hat for nine
years and sometimes he sits for a
Hour at a time without speaking to
any one. He has made a great Rep for
himself by throwing down People who
are trying to be kind to him. His fa
vorite Specialty is making Cracks
about those who Entertain him. I
have no doubt that ha. will go away
and say the most Sarcastic Things
about us, but then you must expect
that from a Genius."
"I’ll bet that he won’t say any woree
things about us than 1 say about him,”
said the Plain Husband. "What time
does the Genius arrive?”
"You never can tell,” was the reply.
"He Is so Great that he scorns to keep
his Appointments, but if he cornea at
all. It wil! be somewhere between five
and nine.”
“I will go and stock up the Side-
Board.” said the Plain Husband.
The Genius arrived at 9:30 and said
all he wanted for Dinner was four
Bowls of Soup and an Orange. Azalea
thought he was charmingly Eccentric.
It would be wrong to tell what the
Plain Husband thought.
Azalea had away of uncovering Dady
Reformers who were above the Frip
peries of Dress. Every week or so the
Plain Husband would arrive at the
House .to find everything upset ip
Honor of some longitudinal Empress in
the World of Thought who glared at
him through Steel Specs and wdtp-bgt.
Wens in the most unexpected Places.
Any time that the Plain Husband
bumped against a Proposition of this
kind, he folded up like a Pocket Cam
era. When it came time to Carve he
would be so Nervous that every Slice
looked as if it had been put through a
Fluting Machine.
This went on for Years. He used to
tell on the Outside, when he was In his
Cups, that he was conducting a first
class Boarding House for Freaks. Aza
lea put it differently. She said that she
had entertained more Whales than any
other Woman along the Street.
But the Dorsal Vertebrae of the
long-suffering Camel may be weighted
to the Point of Fracture and there
came a Day when the Plain Husband
rlz up. He Invited a few Friends to
Dinner and then notified Azalea. Sl)h
scanned the List and then threw £\.
couple of Throes. -
“Nobody ever heard of these Folks
she said. .. ■
•That is why it will be such a blamel
Relief to have them around." said the
Plain Husband. "I long for. the sight
of those that Comb It in the Ordinary
Way and talk about something besldefc
Themselves. I have got good and tired
of looking at Genius througn Smoked
Glasses. Before I die I shoid like to
attend just one Dinner Party at which
the Host would cut a little ice. And
tomorrow this Sign goes up at the
Front Portal: ’No Tramps. Beggars,
Peddlers or Geniuses need apply.’ ’’
MORAL: It gives one a Crick in the
Neck to look up all the Time.
GEORGE ADE.
began kicking himself for not kicking
sooner. He read patent medicine adver
tisements to make him feel bad. He look
ed at pictures of great men to prove his
own life had failed. He asked his wife if
she didn't love her first husband more
than she loved him, but she put an end to
the discussion by saying she hadn't
thought of her first marriage since she
put off mourning clothes.
Then Jerry braced himself for a star
stunt. He offered to lend his wife money.
No, thanks, her dear, dear auntie had
sent her a check! She felt quite wealthy.
! No, knew of nothing special he could
do. She was quite content. No one can
know just how contentedly content a wo
man can get when she has It in her mind
to be content for a certain reason. Even
I Jerry's very presence interrupted her. She
I looked it.
I And the man with a mind to get mad
had a moment all his own to think. Wo
men have a happy faculty of making men
think sometimes.
Then Mrs. Jerry decided she would join
her husband's church and be a pessimist.
She did all manner of things to remind
; him of her change of mind. She declared
' the world was hourly growing worse. She
I said she was the only poorly dressed wo
l man ifi the tow*n. She even Intimated
I there was a tinge of insanity in her fam
ily somewhere.
And it came to pass that Jerry put on
his thinking cap and got real busy in his
upper story. He lost interest in the club
and was long on theatres. He caught cold
that afternoon from the chilly atmosphere
that * pervaded his wife's boudoir. His
wife became very fond of her friends and
spread affection ail over the poodle. Old
Jerry, sour and crabid, went along his
weary way unnoticed and unwept. Fi
nally it became so very unwarm for Jerry
that he wondered to himself and leaned
forward and kicked himself. He had a
rough house every day at the office and
when night came he walked up and down
the block like a race horse that bolts the
track and strolls on the field in a shame
faced way.
These things were doing one day when
Jerry accidentally smiled. He quit drink
ing, swore off on cigars and hurried home.
He fired the nurse and played with the
baby for an hour. He bought a hammer
and some nails and hung the pictures
over again. He insisted on making the
fire every morning when the weather was
very wet and even persuaded Mrs. Jerry
to invite the Tuesday Whist club and
begged her to elect him an honorary mem
ber, but subject to dues. He gave up his
position as bank president so he wouldn't
have anything on his mind at night. He
rapidly got himself acclimated and was
getting along fine.
But his wife noticed none of these things
and went home to see her mother and
didn’t come back.
And Jerry was firmly convinced, in long
years after, that his reform was too sud
den and that he overdid the thing.
Pronouncing It.
From the New York Mail and Express.
“What sort of silk is this?” asked the
lady at the counter, fingering a remnant.
“Polly de saw, madam,” said the polite
salesman. \
She made him repeat it. so as to get
that lovely pronunciation for paille de
sole, then she decided not to take the
remnant and moved further down the silk
counter.
There she heard the salesman outdone
by two customers. Both wanted peau de
sole. One asked for po-de swear; the
other for pew-de-so.
Os course Prince Henry had to go to
Chattanqpga in order to see lx>okout
mountain. '