The Jesup sentinel. (Jesup, Ga.) 1876-19??, April 24, 1878, Image 1

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The tap Sentinel Offlee in the Je*up House, fronting on (-berry street, two doors from Broad St. PUBLISHED EVERY WEDNESDAY, ... BY ... T. P. LITTLEFIELD. Subscription Rates. (Postage Prepaid.) i One year $2 00 Six mouths 1 00 Three months 50 Advertising Rates. Per square, first insertion $1 00 Per square, each subsequent insertion. 75 jffl&~Special rates to yearly and large ad vertisers. TOWN DIRECTORY. TOWN OFFICERS. Mayor—H. Whaley. Councilmen—Dr. R. F. Lester, it. A. Eler bee, M. W. Surency, A. B. Purdorn,G. M. T. Ware. Clerk and Treasurer—G. M. T. Ware. Marshal—Wm. M. Austin. COUNTY OFFCKRS. Ordinnrv—Richard B. Hopps. Sheriff—John N. Goodbread. Clerk Superior Court—Benj. O. Middleton Tux Receiver—J. C. Hatcher. Tax Collector—W. R. Ca^ey. County Surveyor—Noah Bennett. County Treasurer—John Massey. Coroner—D. McDitha. County Commissioners—J JHMwiW-' W. Heines, James Knox, J. G. Rich, Isham Reddish. Regular meetings of the Board 3d Wednesday in January, April, July and October. Jas. F. King, Chairman. coup. s. Superior Court, Wavne County—Jno. L. Harris, Judge; Simon W. Hitch, Solicitor- General. Sessions held on second Monday in March and September. BMslear, Pierce Cent? Stop TOWN DIRECTORY. TOWN OFFICERS. Mayor—R. G. Riggins. Councilmen—D. P. Patterson,.). M. Downs J. M. Lee, 13. D. Brantly. Clerk of Council—.). M. Purdom. 'l'own Treasurer—B. D. Brantly. Marshal—E. Z. Byrd. COUNTY OFFICERS. Ordinary—A. J. Strickland. Clerk Superior Court—Andrew M. Moore. Sheriff—E. Z. Byrd. County Treasurer—D. P. Patterson. County Serveyor—J. M. Johnson. Tax Beceiver and Collector—J. M. Pur don). Chairman of Road Commissioners—llSl District, G. M., Lewis C. Wylly; 12 0 Dis. triet, G. M., George T. Moody ; 584 District, G. M., Charles S. Youmanns; 590 District, G. M.. D. B. McKinnon. Notary Publics and Justices of the Peace' etc.—Blackshear Precinct. 584 district,G.M., Notary Public, J. G. S. Patterson; Justice of the Peace,R. R. James; Ex-officio Con stable E. Z. Byrd. Dickson?s Mill Precinct 1250 District, ® M , Notary Public,Mathew Sweat; Justice of the Peace, Geo. T. Moody; Constable, W. F. Dickson. Patterson Precinct, 1181 District, G. M., Nota y Public, Lewis C. Wylly; Justice of the Peace, Lewis Thomas; Constables, H. Prescott and A. L. Griner. Schlatterville Precinct. 590 District, G. M Notary Public, D. B. McKinnon; Justice o the Peace, R. T. James; Constable, John W Booth. Courts—Superior court, Pierce county John L. Harris, judge; Simon W. Hitch Solicitor General. Sessions held first Mon dry in March and September. Corporation court, Blackshear, Ga., session held second Saturday in each Month. Police court sessions every Monday Morning at 9 o’elook. P HOUSE, Corner Broad and Oherrv Streets, (Near the Depot,) T. P LITTLEFIELD. Proprietor. Nwly renovated and refurnished. Patiis faetien guaranteed. Polite waiters will take yonr baggage to and from the house. HOARD $2.00 per day. Single Meals, 50 ets CURRENT PARAGRAPHS. Southern News. Austin, Texas, has three ice factories. Mobile has been steadily reducing the expensesofher municipal government for six years. Her debt is over two millions. The employes of the Atlanta, Ga., Rolling Mills have struck, and the mill is stopped. They demand their back pay and number nearly four hundred. Thomas R. Addy, a well-known young man of Augusta, committed suicide the Ist instant by shooting himself in the head. He left a note assuring his friends of hia sanity, and stating he had found himself unable to pay his debts. Memphis Appeal: The caterpillars are making their annual appearance in this state, as well as in Mississippi and A rxansas. They are becoming a national pesi, or nuisance, and are about to destroy the green leaves now breaking forth. A contract has been entered into be tween ex-Gov, Brown and the State of Georgia. The former has agreed to pay the latter $500,000 in yearly installments of $25,000 for the use of the convicts for twenty years from April, 1879. Savannah News : The spring of 1878 will be hereafter known in the chronicles of Gocrgia as “ the spring in which the woods were burnt.” It is declared that there never has been known a season when there was such a general burning of the woods as has taken place during March. The weather for the past fifteen or tweuty days has been very dry, and fires have spread rapidly. Jacksonville correspondence of the Savannah News: Captain Eads’ report is awaited with great interest. Should it be as favorable as is anticipated, and the requisite appropriation can be obtained, anew era will open upon this section of our country. An immense impetus would at once be given to the cultivation of early fruits and vegetable?, aDd the noble forces of the rive r region would speedily be brought into requisi tion. The amqunt required of the general government would rapidly be repaid by the increased demand for the public lands, and the entire state would take a tremendous stride on the road to progress and prosperity. VOL 11. Facts and Figures. Tobacco will be raised in the north | western provinces of India, this year, j from seed taken from the United States. England's Cleopatra’s needle will be j erected on the top of the Adelphi steps, between Charing Cross and Waterloo bridges. It is proposed to make Oakland the capital of California, as Sacramento is often rendered almost inaccessible by freshets. Several Paris papers print an order every day in their advertising columns, which, if cut out, will admit the bearer into certain theaters at half price. The Mormon colonists from Utah are utilizing the channels of the old At tee! canals they find along the borders of the valleys of Arizona, where they have set tled. One writes that he is satisfied the canals found in one small district will, by being repaired, supply an abundance of water for the irrigation of farms capa ble of sustaining 100,000 persons. There are in the United States 268 distilleries in operation. They use 57,763 bushels of grain daily, making 223,555 gallons of highwines therefrom. From this it is ascertained that about 20,000,000 bushels of corn, rye and wheat are used for distilling, which makes about 80,000,000 gallons of liquor per year. Besides this, in the New England states they make about 2,750,000 gallons of rum out of molasses. Personalities. Mr. Thomsa Nast is a native of Bava ria, and is about forty years old. He is a short, thick-set, self-confident man, but not a Hayes republican. Mr. Thomas Mehon, botanist of the board of agriculture of Pennsylvania, has contributed 450 trees for the decora tion for the grounds of Vanderbilt University. The Hon. William Maxwell Evarts was a Boston Latin school boy. He is a man of almost phenomenal thinness, yet he has a very shrill voice, a tremendous appetite, and is the father of eleven chil dren. Gen. John A. Dix is a small man, but also a very active one. Few sportsmen can beat him in bringing down a snipe or a duck, spite of his years. Gen. Dix regularly draws his peusion as a soldier of the war of 1812. Mr. Bayard Taylor, our new minister to Germany, was, a quarter of a century ago, a slight man, but now, what with beer and beef, he has grown heavy. He must weigh over two hundred pounds. He started in life as a printer. Mr. James Gordon Bennett, if he takes care of his health and money, ought to become one of the richest men in the country. He has some expensive tastes, but he is not a spendthrift by any means. He is now verging on forty, and is un married. Mr. Peter Cooper, the eccentric phil anthropist, lives in a large square house near the beginning of Lexington avenue. He wears his hair long, and has a singu lar beard of a sort of ran shape. Mr. Cooper always carries with him an air cushion which he blows up to sit on. Mr. Jay Gould is a short man, with a Jewish cast of countenance. He is of a bilious habit, and every now and then feels the necessity of taking pills. Mr. Gould was first known in New York as the partner of the late Mr. Charles M. Leupp, the’merchant in the Swamp, who built what is known as the Bareda man sion, the fine house on the corner of Madison avenue and Twenty-fifth street. Mr. Leupp committed suicide. About Notable Englishmen. Earl Granville ranks among the Eng lish aristocracy as the best linguist; he is master of twenty languages. In appearance he looks like an oiled and curled Assyrian bull. The parting of bis hair has never been known to change one hair’s breadth. The Lord Chief Justice of England, Sir Alexander Cockburn, Bart,, was offered a peerage, but declined it. He is a bon vivant, and eats asparagus all the year round. No dinner party is ever organized in London without asking him to grace the board. He quaffs port. The Duke of Buckingham and Chandos is scraping up all he can to pay off his inherited debts. Queen Victoria, admir ing his integrity, gave him the gover norship of Madras. His grace has brought up his daughters in the sensible way, and a dinner cooked by their lady ships is worthy of Francatelli. The Marquis of Salisbury comes from old stock ; he is a tall, tbick-set man, and grows a full, black beard; he prefers riding in a cab to his own elegant brougham; if anxious to see whether you have any defects in your personal appearance, walk behind his lordship, and his coat will serve you as a looking- glass His tailor’s bills were never large. The Duke o' Portland, even in London, is not much heard of. On subscription lits he puts down the figure 1, and. after it. not two naughts, but three. This is an invariable rule. When there has been great distress in England he has employed odc thousand laborers at a time to dig a pit, and ordered them to fill it up again. He is a martyr to a host of bodily ailment*. JESUP, GEORGIA, WEDNESDAY, APRIL 24, 1878. SEGOViA AND MADRID BIT ROSE TKKRY MOKE. it Rings to me in the sunshine, It vrhlspeis all night Jon* ; My heartache li fce an echo Repeats tho wishful tong ; Only a f taint old love-ltl . Wherein my life lien hid . “ Mv body is m Segovia, Bat mv soul is in Madrid." I dream and waso and wonder. For dream and day nre one. Alight with vanished fa© s, And nays forever done. They smile and shine around tne, As long ago they did, For my body is in S* govia, But my soul is in Madiid. through inland hills and forests I hear the ocean breeza, The creak of straining cordage, The rush of mighty sens, Hftef angry billow* Through which a swift keel slid, Fr my body is in Segovia, But my soul is in Madrid. 'mired little darling* ao bore my heart away, A wide and woful eecan Between us roars to-dav; Yet I am ©lore beside you. Though time and space forbid ; Mv body is in Segovia, but my soul is in Madrid. If I were once in heaven, Thcie would no no more se i; My heart would cease to wander, My sorrows cease to be My rad eyes sleep iorever, In dus nd daises hid. And my b.idy leave Segovia - Would my soul lorget Madrid [Harper's Magazine for April. A LUCKY TUMBLE. When Mrs. Snatcham asked me, “ knowing my usual kindness,” whether I would watch the babv in the cradle, ‘‘just for half an hour,” I felt that a crisis had come. I must leave Mrs. Snatcham’s. I say Mrs. Snatcham’s, for Mr. Snatch am was not unduly prominent in his own house. He was a meek man, with tear ful eyes Mrs. Saatcham was-well, a woman with a will, and she had eyes which made you feel uncomfortable. I had been private tutor in this abode for twelve months. My charge consisted of four young gentlemen, of strong bodies and perverse dispositions. They quar relled incessantly on all points save one. Against their lawless tutor they com bined heartly. Their cry was ever “War to the knife!” I had borne it all; I might have continued to bear it all, but no, I could not take charge of the baby, even for half an hour. I rmiot bid the Snatchams adieu. I was gloomily cogitating my next movement when a letter arrived for me from the only near relative I possessed —an old uncle, to whom I had written detailing my troubles. “ Look here, Harry,” it ran, “if you’ve a mind to live in peace and die worth money, you forget all about your Latin and Greek and such things. Fine things they are, I dare say, but f never saw that they turned into much beef or mutton. You put your books in the fire and your pride in your pocket, and never take it out again. You know what I was in early life, nephew. I kept a shop—a general shop—in a country town, and I hadn’t done so badly. Well, Pvejust heard the good will and stock in trade of a shop of this kind in a little town fifty miles from London is for sale, and say the word and I’ll buy it for you. And, as your education has been so neglected that you’d know nothing of such a business, I’ll come and steer you aright for a time, until fortune is before you. There now 1” Humph ! I gave a grasp or two at this grand proposition ol my worthy relative. Private tutorship at thfc Snatchams was poor enough, but the keeping of “a shop of all sorts” in a country town, under the guidance of my good uncle! Well, it was the old story, “ We never know what we may come to.” And so I left the Snatchams and the £2O a year they gave me (hy-the-by, I believe my successor received only 18 guineas, and did not object to mind the baby), and wrote to my uncle that 1 was ready to accompany him to the—the shop. Alas, for the vanity of human designs! News came back that my relative had died suddenly, and had left the whole of his property to the “ Sau sage-makers’ Benevolent Institution,” of which he had been a vice-president, in company (to his great delight) with half a dozen nobles of the land. However, all the money needful on my account had been paid, and rather than return to the horrors of private tutorship I secured the services of an experienced shopman, and determined to try my fortune in [the new direction so lauded by my deceased relative. I do not want to lengthen my story, and therefore I will comprise a great deal in one short sentence—l tried and I failed. I soon began to perceive, not so very far off, not the fortune my uncle had foretold, but bankruptcy and the work house. And when these pleasant pros pects came very distinctly to my mental vision, then it was I engaged to marry ! Thus it happened. I became attached to the only daughter of a widow, living some ten miles, from my abode. It was a sjieedy acquaintance and a quick ac ceptance by the young lady, but some how the mother, without actually ob jecting, would not agree, and I pressed Miss Lucy for the reason. “ I have told yon, you are going to starvation,” I said. “My place is a fail ure, and in a month we shall be in the workhouse; the prospects are clear and charming, and you are quite satisfied. What is it then that troubles your mamma?” Well,” answered Lucy, “ it is very foolish of mamma to conceal from you something which you evidently don’t know, though I wonderatyour ignorance. It is your—your establishment.” “ Shop, we generally call it. Lucy; but how do—” “ Don’t you know it’s hauuted ? ” “ Can not say I do, and I don't care il it is.” • “ But if I am to live with you there, i care very much. They say that for several nights after his death, old Jenks, the former owner, was seen in his shop in a great nightcap audt with a large carving knife. “ A most formidable and disagreeable sort of ghost, I must say ; but how have you heard this?” “ Ah! there’s the secret, although I can not imagine how the story of mamma’s former connection with old Mr. Jenks has not come to your ears. Now. listen to me. But first solemnly promise you will not repeat what I am about to tell you. There, hold your tongue, and don’t interrupt me. You are so fond of hearing yourself talk. Men are so much given that way. I’ve told you half the truth and that is more than you deserve. Well, the other half, which you might so easily have known if you had not been so stupid, runs thus; My mamma and Mr. Jenks were formerly near neighbors, and Mr. Jenks (ell violently in love with mamma and offered her marriage, and mamma re fused him and Mr. Jenks went mad, and one day he presented a pistol at his and—” “ G@od gracious! ” “ Would have killed himself, but somebody knocked him down, and the pistol wont off, and mamma was stand ing close by, and—”f “ Mercy on me I ” “ Was nearly killed—with (right. Then, when Mr. .Tenks came to his senses, he was sorry, and though he couldn’t have mamma (for she married papa, and he lived manv years) yet he made a will in mamma’s favor, leaving her everything. He told mamma so positively one day when he was poorly, taking some gruel. Then he died; but though search waa made, high and low, no will could be found, and a rich old heir-at-law came in for everything. And there’s the reasoh mamma can not bear that place. And, please, what is to be done?” It was a curious story, and I had not heard a word of it before. And as to whal was to be done, that was a puzzle. I could move, of course, but where to, and with what prospects of doing better, and where were the costs of removal to come from ? So I said I muHt argue the point with Mrs. Barton, and this I did, and having overcome her scruples, it was agreed the marriage should take place at once, and that we should all live together and face the ghost, if need be, and, which were of more importance, the difficulties of the situation. Aud so Lucy and I were married, and, of course, were supremely happy, and it was not until three writs had been served upon and four lawyers’ letters been sent me, and the gas company had cut off the gas, and the landlord giving me notice to quit, that with just a little feeling of apprehension we began to consider what next. One night, after rather a long con ference on the state of affairs, when Lucy had apparently fallen into a deep sleep, I roused up suddenly, fancying I heard a sound below. Very gently rising so as not to wake my wife I left the' room and looked down stairs into the shop. A light entered through some apertures at the top of the shutters, and to my aston ishment and alarm I saw a figure in white behind t, e counter, in the act, as it seemed, of opening one of the canisters. Was it Mr. Jenks’s ghost? The light was insufficient to show me more than the bare outlins of the figure and the slight movement ef the arms. I watched with rather a beating heart, I confess, for a minute, and then I thought that before seeking closer quarters with what might be an apparition, but which much more probably was a burglar in his shirt sleeves, I would don some garments; so, refraining from going hack into the bed room and frightening my wife, I went to an upper room and procured some there. Then I again descended, and the figure was gone, I went into the shop—all in order. So much marvelling, I went to bed. When next morning I told the story my companions were scared. “ Let us go-—let us get out of the un lucky place,’’said my wife passionately. “ Whatever there is, Harry, sell it at an 'alarming sacrifice,' and then you must get a secretaryship under government, or a judgeship in the colonies, or some thing of that kind. Mamma’s sixth cousin’s husband is—is—well, i forgot what he is, but there’s seme connection or other between him and a member of parliament and he must do something for you, that’s what it comes to. Bo now, please, we’ll go as soon as possible.” It was painful, but it was necessary, to explain to my ar young wife that the powersof her mamma’s distinguished relative, even should he be williug to exert them, were probably limited. Lucy would not believe it. And the fetter was written and was answered. Well, now for the workhouse. And upon my word I do think something dreadful would have occurred, but— A few nights on—again that sound. “ Lucy,” I said, gently, but she did not arouse, and I thought perhaps I had better not disturb her. It was quite dark as I very quietly dressed in part, and then stepped out on to the stairs. Again, a little light of very early morn ing coming through the shutters revealed faintly s white figure behind the coun ter in the shop, its arms waving to and fro and its head bending over as though speaking to a Customer. I strained my eyes, but nothing more could I mate out than that the head of the figuro was white. “ It must be the veritable Jenks,” I said to myself; “ and that is his night cap. Where is the carving knife, though TANARUS” One would have thought the apparis tion heard me, lor it moved aside, took something and waved it in the air. It was my shop carving knife. Presently the figure rose and began to ascend the stairs. It was a hard matter to stand my ground, hut 1 did, and then I saw boforc me Lucy, my wife! She was walking in her sleep. Fearing to wake her, I stood aside to let her pass and my foot slipped and I fell heavily to the bottom of the stairs. Directly all was confusion. Mrs. Bar ton, the shopman and our small servant ran out of their bed-rooms, and Lucy, awakening, shrieked and fainted. But I was the worst off. So heavy had been my fall that I hail actually broken in the flooring at the foot of the staircase, and it was with some difficulty that they extracted me. Putting my hands behind me, to assist my seif, they touched what seemed to be a small leather hag. I drew it forth. “ A money bag, I declare, and full of cains 1 ” Thu shopman and the small maid had ritreated, having respect for the pro prieties, but my wife and her mother looked on witli astonishment. “ Sure enough, money,” I continued, jingling the contents of the bag. “ Why, there must have been some secret re ceptacle there, where my venerable pre decessor kept hiH valuables. Here is a papPr flood tr.ru— What in the world is this?" They bent over my shoulder as by the light of a solitary candle T read the endorsement—“ The will of Simon Jenks.” It was not in nny cover, so we read it at once. It was very short, and was roughly drawn aud written, as though the form had been copied. But it waa duly witneased and was perfectly intel ligible. The testator bequeated all his prop erty to Lucy Barton. Whin we had drawn breath—“ Avery lucky tumble,” I said, “and my bruises are cured already.” The will was proved under £20,000. — [Cassell’s Family Magazine ] Tlie Earn Inara of liObliist/N. Does lobbying pay ? In some cases it does; in other cases it does not. There are all grades of incomea ’among lobby men. The camp-followers and occa sional amateurs may pick up Irons fifty to five, hundred dollars in a session, but the big lobbyists have frequently earned thousands ot dollars in a single session. One lobby member, a man who is entiled to wear the proud title ol “Speaker of the third house,” has, in the course of a decade and a half, earned over sixty-five thousand dollars. From the best infor mation obtainable it is doubtful if any obbyist has earned over seven or eight thousand dollars in a session. How great the value of a lobbyist’s services may be can be seen by a single instance." Once upon a time a certain general law was proposed by a state com mission. The bill which embodied this law was designed to be general in its application, and was framed in entire ignorance of how oppressively some of its provisions would operate in a certain case. The bill was being discussed in a committe room, when it was discovered by a lobbyist of brains and keen percep tions that a certain section of the bill would compel a great corporation to make an outlay of $1.500,000 to comply with its provisions. The corporation was notified, and a powerful influence brought to bear on the committee. The section was modified by a special clause inserted, and a vast sum of money saved. Lobbyist* are frequently retained by corporations simply to keep a lookout for measures affecting their particular interests, and if such measures are in troduced the lobbyist notifies his em ployers. An ex-governor of this state has said that his firm has to keep a man at the state house to watch for dan gerous bills. Our shi(ting and frequent legi-lation yearly imperils hundreds of important interests. The mere cost fo running the legislative machinery is the [ smallest part of the burden imposed yb I i-nnual sessions.—f Boston Herald. Never confide a secret t*- your rela -1 tives; blood will tell. Wlij llie Average Savings Hank Hi N. G. OI course, savings banks might be made really safe, and there are undoubt edly savings banks now in the oily which are at least as trustworthy as a govern ment which repudiates an eighth of its debts. Still the confidence which people put in the mere name of a savings bank is as unreasonable and indefensible as the confidence of the Afiican in his fetich. What did the majority of the depositors in the Sixpenny savings bauk know of Mr. Miles and the other officers of the bank ? What good reason had they to believe that these men had heneHy and intelligence enough to make them fit to l>e trusted with other people’s money ? So long as people in this blind way will trust their money to virtually unknown men, need we be surprised that to be a savings bank officer is perhaps the most profitable career of crime upon which an enterprising malefactor can enter ? The real foundation of this belief in savings banks is the theory that when one irresponsible man lakes to himself two or three other irresponsible men, and they jointly call themselves hank nffi cers, they become ipso facto trustworthy. The nativo African king believes that if a lion drinks water over which fetich man has cast a apell, the b at instantly changes his nature and It comes gentle and inoffensive. We, who pity the ig norance of the native kings, believe the words “ savings bank ” exercise a magi cal influence upen men who call them selves savings hank < fficers, and that they are thus made incapable ol stealing or of wasting in foolish speculations the funds intrusted to them. No one in his sense would think of rushing into the street and asking the first stranger whom he might meet to accept without security the loan of a few thousand dollars. Even the depositors ot the Sixpenny savings bank would have thought them selves fit to represent, a western constit uency in congress had ihey opened the city directory at hazard and on noticing the name of “ William Miles” had with out any further knowledge ol him, gone to his house and begged him to take their money and give them a receipt for it. The Kix|ienny savings hank was nothing more than a partnership between President Miles and a few other men equally unknown to the general public; but hundreds ol |>eople who would not have lent a dollar to Mr. Miles or his associates personally,gladly brought their money to those gentlemen as soon as they found them sitting at the receipt of deposits ina hank building (>f course, there is hut one explanation of this. The public believes that men undergo a mi raculous mortal transformation when they become the managers of savings banks, and that lire Dank fetich will render it impossible for hank officers to steal. In like manner, we all know about the real nature of savings bunks. Year by year wo have seen them explode and vanish, leaving a fantastic mockery known as a “receiver” behind them. Cashiers and presidents in a long arid uninterrupted succession have marched toward the Canada border, or to the wharves of transatlantic steamships, carrying the assets of their banks with them. Yet, knowing all these things, we still cling to our Irelief in savings hanks, and cannot get rid of the delusion that it is safe to lend money without any se curity, provided the Isrrrowers occupy a building over the door of which is the sign “ Savings Bank.”—[N. Y. Times. An Irish Munchausen. An Irish Munchausen has turned up at a Boston restaurant in the humble capacity of a waiter. A guest who has been served with a small lobster—‘‘Do you call that a lobster, Mike?” “ Faix, i believe they do he callin’ thim lobsters here, sur. We call ’em crabs at home.” “ Oh 1” said the diner, “ you have lobsters in Ireland?” “Is it lobsters? Bsgorrs, the creek is full of ’em. Many a time I’ve seen ’em when I lepped over the sthrames.” “How long do lobsters grow in Ireland?” “ Well,” said Mike, thoughtfully, “to sphake widin -sounds, sur, I’d say a matter of five or six feet.” “Whatl Five or six feet? How do they get around in these creeks?” “ Bed ad. sur, the creeks in Ireland are fifty or sixty feet wide,” said the imper turable Mike. “ But,” asked the guest, “ you had seen them when you were leaping over the streams, and lobsters here live in the sea.” “ Bure, I did, sur; we’re powerful leppers in Ireland. As for thesay.sur, I’ve seen it red with ’em.” “ But look here, my fine lellow,” said the guest, thinking he had cornered Mike at last, “ lobsters are not red until they are boiled." “Don’t I know that?” said Mike, “but there are bilin’ springs in the ould counthry, and they shwim through em,’ and come out all ready for ye to crack open and ate ’em.' . An honest ignoramus, who had es caped a great peril by an act of heroism, was much complimented for his bravery. One lady said : “ I wihh I could have seen your feat.” Whereupon he blushed and stammered, and, finally, pointing to his pedal extremities, he said, “ Well there they he, mum.” WAIFS ALND Will MS. Why, Her, Lot Her Go. Some tiimritgo I fell in lov.? *Vifch pretty Mary J *rm And I did-hope Hisr by arl by She’d Idftfc me fe ek huG.-i Alan! idy hopes dunniu; Iri ht Were ail fit one*- -t She ‘a# a ck*']> I ■'</ i u- *h : . And she fell in love wlih him Next lime 1 went - (now how it was I don’t pretend lo say)— ’But when my chair moved up to her*, * hy. hers would lanve away. Befnrt I always got a (1 own wiDj, sonic small fun* ) But now. lorgqplh. for love or fun, ' J is Bon-eome-al-n bu -h Well, there we sat, and when we spoke, Our conversation dwelt On everything tho sun Except w hat most we fair. Enjoying this delightful mood. vv ho then should just step in But ho, of all Iho world whom I Had rather see than him And he fouldfait (Sown by her side And she could-nil the while lie pressed Tier har.d within his own Up n him sweetly smile ; And she cuuM plftck a roe© lor him, S<> fresh M&bright avd red, And gave mffitle which hours before Was fcdmtnk'tu.d p.ifa nnd dead. Anti she could freely, gladly ting 1 he song he did request The ones I asked went just the ones .She-always did det*“ i. I rose, to leave*-he’<t he so glad To have md looser stay ! No doubt of it! No doubt they wept To Joe me gdfcway ! I sat mo down—l thought profound This maxi id., win© I drew : ”lis easier fac t#like r girl Than rnako a gin like you. B tt after f don’t believe My hoavtwtlthreak with woe: II * mlii-u I . I• . <-i)'j| .V hr, ble*s Tier let her go! NO. 84. .. A London paper thinks that by residing in Europe an American girl can gradually “get rid of her war-hoop.” . .In 1872 there were thirty- two circus shows on the road. This year there are but thirteen. . . Chicago lias 2,800 liquor saloons for her 500,000 inhabitants, givingone saloon for 178 people, or one to every thirty-five adult males. . Chicago didn’t derive a greater blaze of glory Irom Mrs. O'Leary’s cow than she will from Mr. O’Leaty’s calves.— [Boston I’ost. . .The Oeorge Washington sociable, of men who could not tell lies, was aban doned. The only guests who camo were two insurance agents. .. Landlady : “ I’m sure I hope you’re comfortable, rsir! Ido so dislike changing my lodgera; when I get a nice single i gentleman I could keep him forever I’ . .A man must havo his pants all one color, but a woman can sew a yard of red flannel around the bottom of an old calico dresH and have an elegant under skirt. . The number of children lost daily in the city of New York is very large. Over thirty found temporary quarters at the police central station one day recently. At twenty a woman searches for the trailing arbutus. At twenty-five she is after horse-radish. At thirty she digs roots for her blood. Much is gentle spring in the various Htages of the feminine life.—[Danbury News. And the laird looks down on the czar, remaiking: “My son, your battle has l>een fc h<>!y <*ie. I led you on to victory aud now you own most of Tur kov and havo some gooii southern ports. But when are tin poor Christians that you sought to liberate? Strikes mo there iv.iau little desire to put up a job on me in I list direction.” You can buy a cane fish-pole for twenty five cent,-; and catch just as many fish with it as you can with a jointeel one that costs seventeen dollars; but you can’t take it apart and slip it under your coat when you to fishing on Sunday as you can one that is in sections, and a religious outside appearance is worth sixteen dollars and seventy-five cents to most men. ..The other day Jimmy, four years old, found one of those bone rimmed circles which, I believe, ladies call eye lets, and, while playing, in the garden, swallowed it. The la.nily were in the house, busily engaged with a work on entomology, when Jimmy ran in, with mouth wide open and eyes distended to their utmost capacity. His mother caught him by the arm, and, trembling with that deep anxiety which only a mother can lee), inquired : “What in the matter ? What has happened ?” “Water I” gasped little Jimmy, nearly “scared to death.” It was brought him, when, after drinking copiously, he exclaimed: “Oh. mother, 1 swallowed a hole I” “ Swallowed a hole, Jimmy ?” “ Yea, m ither, swallowed a hole, with a piece of •ivory ’round it! What they Eat in Sweden. The ordinary routine of dining seems in Sweden to be in wild confusion. Soup sometimes ends instead of begin ning the dinner. Iced soups and cold fish are dainties to the Scandinavian palate. Much of the soup is nauseously sweet, flavored with cherries, rasbrrrries and gooseberries, oltc-n with macaroon cakes and spikes of cinnamon Heating wildly about in it. This is eaten as a sort of desert, and is cold and often beau tifully clear. If Heine bitterly reviled the English for bringing vegetables on the table an nalurel, there is no such complaint to tie made here. Everything is eaten with sauce—sauces rea, white, blue, green, yellow and black—sauces celestial and infernal. Strong combina tions of ice cream heaped over delicious apple-tarts, or strange dishes of berry . juice boiled down and mixed with farina, sugar and almonds, then cooled, molded and turned out into a basin of cream, to be eaten with crushed sugar and wine apjiear at the end ol dinner. The ! Swedes share with the Danes and Arab a passionate tondne-r; for sweet meat-. Everything is slightly sweet ; even gret n jeas are sugared, as well as the innum arable tea and coffee cakes, so that long before the unh-iopy tourist has finished liis tour he is a hopeit-A dyspr-f‘ir: a i raging Swedcphobe.