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For Richards’ Weekly Gazette.
BALLAD.
From a Volume of Poems now in Press.
BY W.M. GILMORE SIMMS.
By the brooklet, grove and meadow,
Where together once we strayil,
Do I wander, fond as ever,
Haunting still each secret shade ;
Aud, that thus content I wander,
Where such precious joys wore mine,
Do 1 know that thou art with mo,
And my spirit walks with thine.
In the murmur of the brooklet,
.Still, thy well-known voice I hear,
And the whisper in the tree-top,
Tells me that thy form is near ;
Thou hast left me, at departing,
All that earth could never take,
And, still comforted, I wander
Through these shadows for thy sake.
Were 1 guilty oT a passion,
Which thy beauty could survive,
Still I feel thy gentle presence.
Must the earthly fancy shrive ;
And, discoursing with thy spirit,
Oh ! I feel that earth has nought
To compensate the forgetting
Os the sweetness thou hast taught.
J4>
WHO IS THE MAN
THAT LIVES NEXT DOOR?
We live in a great city. It is filled with
avenues, and the streets and lanes and al
leys, and the sides of all these, are crowd
ed with great piles of buildings, filled with
people, men, women and children. But
they are not fairly divided—those splendid
palaces have but three or four inmates,
who comprise the family—the rest are
pampered, well-fed men and women ser
vants. Six of these handsome piles take
up the whole side of a block. Comeback
a short distance : here is a little wooden
building, away back at the end of a dark
alley. It has a little yard —it’s like an ant
hill. Children, little babies, almost tagged,
dirty, and half starved, are tumbling about,
just as though they liked being frozen; but
go inside—only in one room : there is an
old woman on a piece of carpet for a bed ;
there are men lying round the fire, two wo
men are washing, there are three pretty
girls and some children ; the only home
they’ve got in the world, is there in that
room. Every room, nook and cranny, in
that old, ricketty building, teems with mis
erable human beings, and even they are
only allowed to exist and stay there when
they pay their way regularly from day to
day. When they can’t do that, they must
go out into the only place left them—the
open air. That, God has provided for
them, and they can sleep there, free of
charge. Why is this so I—What a sim
ple question ! The few people in the big
house are rich, and hardly know what to
do with their money, they have got so
much of it. The people in the little old
tenements, in the out-of-way place, though
they, too, are human beings, just the same
as the others, yet they are poor, very poor,
and barely get food enough to keep them
alive. They shiver and suffer with cold,
but that ain’t nothing—they get used to
that ; ong weeks of want and wretched
ness are their portion—it does ’em good ;
but food they must have now and then, or
else they would die. Who would care if
they did ? Who would miss these poor
wretches 1 They would be better off—and
then they wouldn’t annoy respectable peo
ple, by coming to their houses, ringing the
bell, worrying the poor servants to open
the door, begging for a little food, a very
little, just to carry home to dear little chil
dren up in an old garret, lying there wrap
ped up in the warmest covering she could
find—it is the ragged old coat of her poor
husband, who died of consumption, and
was carried to Potter's Field to lie. That
wretched, helpless mother, leaves the little i
naked ones, nestling together in that old j
coat, hungry and half frozen, while she
goes to beg a little food to keep them, as
well as herself, alive, until the cold weath
er goes away, and it gets warm again.—
She only wants a little ; see how pleading
she looks—see her watering eyes, and the j
beseeching way she has. She is thinking :
of her little ones; thoj T are very dear to
her. The servant slaps the door in her j
face, and tells her, “Go away; we don't I
give anything to beggars; the city pro-1
vides for them ; why don’t you go to the J
Alms House 1” It is a cruel sight. Wei
saw just such a sight one day last week ;!
it was on the steps of a house not a hun- j
died miles from Union Square, we heard
these very words used. We were on the
next steps, and had not rung the bell. We
shan’t forget that woman’s hopeless look
as the door closed. “Oh, God!” was all
she uttered. It was enough. The tone,
the look, the agony, all combined with the
two words the destitute woman uttered,
were enough. We felt that we were di
rectly called upon to act. That woman, in
her misery, had called almost in despair
on God. We were one of his agents. We
were warm and strong. She was suffer
ing, a woman, ragged, weak, and half
frozen. We hadn't a blessed cent about
us, but that was nothing—we never care
tor that, except it be in a case like this—
then we borrow a shilling, quarter, or half,
as the case may be, from the first kind
friend we meet, and apply it to a holy pur
pose—relieving suffering humanity. There
is many a friend of our own, who, at the
general settlement on the day of judgment,
will find himself creditor for moneys in
vested in this way, where we have acted
as broker, and never charged a cent bro
kerage. We are willing to let such friends
have the whole benefit of the deed ; they
are entitled to it, for we don’t remember
ever having returned a cent under these
circumstances. In this ease, we borrowed
no money, but merely said to the poor wo
man, “My good woman, just wait down
on the side-walk a moment, wc want to
talk to you —it’s all right.” It was worth
a quarter, to see the hope that sparkled in
that woman’s eyes, when we said this.—
We had to see the gentleman who lived
next door to where the woman had been.
The servant answered the bell:
“ Not in.”
“ Is the lady in ?”
“1 11 see. What name V’
“ Mr. Henry.”
While he went into the parlor, to ask
the lady whether she was in or not, we
hailed the woman on the walk—
“ Don’t you go away until 1 come out.”
“No, I won't,” was her reply. The
servant came back —
“Mrs. D wishes you to walk in
the parlor.”
We did so, and then found the lady—
and there were too very charming young
ladies. This was more than we had bar
gained for when we had entered. But we
had an object to achieve, and were not to
be scared by two pretty girls. So, remem
bering our mission, we put on an extra
quantity of modest assurance, and opened
after this fashion :
“Madame, I called for the purpose of
seeing your husband.”
“ He is not at home.”
“So your servant was kind enough to
say to meand we looked at the grinning
darkey, who stood ready to show us out.
“My object in seeing your husband,
was to ask him if he had received a letter
recently from Col. S , of Cincinnati.
I wish to know if that gentleman had left
C. for Washington, or when he was to
leave.”
“I really do not know. I think, how
ever, that Col. S is still at C. lam
sorry my husband is not at home. Do you
know Col. S 1”
“ Intimately, madam—he is one of my
most esteemed friends.”
“Cato, close that door. Will you be
seated 1”
“Thank you, madam: I have something
now to say to you. On the steps, next
door, I saw a poor woman, evidently an
American woman, grossly insulted by a
servant, for nothing more than asking for
a little food to take home, I suppose, to her
children.”
“ Indeed, why Mr. lives next door,
on that side.”
“ Yes, I know he does. I took his name
down. He has the reputation of being very
rich. God, madam, makes some terrible
retributions, in a quiet way he has of do
ing those things ; and rich as that man is,
1 should not be at all surprised if the Al
mighty, in his wise arrangements, should
strip him of a wealth he does not know
how to use, and send him up to Bellevue
He should be sent to Blackwell’s Island,
madam, for keeping pampered servants to
refuse a morsel of bread to one of God’s
poor women. It is really awful.”
“Why, how you talk. It is shocking
to treat a woman so. Where is she V’
“On the side-walk, where I told her to
wait until I could find, madam, someone
like yourself, who could relieve her dis
tress.”
“ Susan, tell Cato to call her in directly.”
The beautiful Susan didn't wait for the
Homan, but called her to come in with her
own pretty tongue. She came in, and Su
san made her go with her into the parlor.
! We took a seat and looked on as a listen
j er. What a beautiful sight it is, to see
woman, beautiful woman, engaged in works
of mercy and charity!—how such pure be
ings as angels must look upon such a scene!
Such a running down into the kitchen, and
lugging up bread, cake, mince pie, half a
chicken, ham—and a plate of mashed po
tatoes. Cato brought up a basket—they
piled it full. We have paid three shillings
for just such a basket. The woman's heart
was so swollen, she couldn’t speak, until
Susan asked her about her children; then
she found relief in a hearty crying spell.
“ Madam,” said I, “I will carry the pro
visions your bounty has bestowed upon de
serving objects. I have no doubt there is
no deception—l am sure. I will go home
with her, and if there is anything that can
be done, I will see to it.”
Susan wished me to wait a moment, and
up stairs she ran, but was back again in a
jiffy, with something tied up in a bundle.
She gave it to me. I thanked the kind la
dy, for the poor woman could not. Kind
ness had completely upset her philosophy;
she was not used to it, and hadn’t a word
to say. As I was leaving the parlor, Mrs.
D observed—
“ Mr. Henry, do you really think Mr.
ever go to the poor house V’
“ Not a doubt about it; and as you have
been so very kind to this poor woman, if
the man next door is a friend of yours, I’ll
speak to Moses G. Leonard, and hand him
the name, so that, when he does reach
there, he shall get extra grub, for your
sake.”
“You are taking too much trouble.”
“Not at all. I will do it with pleasure.
Mr. Leonard is the Commissioner, the head
man of all—a very particular friend of
mine; we were both in Congress together
—that is—l mean to say—we were both
iti Washington at the same time. He was
in Congress—now I’ve got it right. I have
made him a promise, madam, to go through
all the arrangements confided to his charge
with him, and see how the system is car
ried out in the details—the Alms House
system ; and—really, 1 beg your pardon
for trespassing upon your time—good af
ternoon.”
And we left the parlor for the hall with
our protege; hut Susan was along, and
saying kind and gentle words to the poor
woman. She spoke one word to us aside.
“AVill you go to her home T She may
need this: will you be so kind as to see
that it is used judiciously for her benefit 1”
She placed something in our hand, just
before we stepped out, and then she closed
the door; we thought it was a quarter, and
did not look at it until, with our loaded
basket on our arm, we reached the side
walk; then we looked —it was yellow!
We took another look at the massive house.
Now there was no mistake; wealth was
written over the portals; the young girl
knew what she had given.
“ Shan’t I carry the basket, sir
“ You 1 No, indeed ; I will carry it my
self. But which way 1”
“ We keep down the Bowery, to Riving
ton, and then go towards the East River.”
“Why, that’s exactly my road : how far
overl”
“Over towards Pitt.”
“ Why, you are in my Ward!”
That was a confounded heavy basket,
and before we got half-way to the end of
Rivington street, it weighed enormous. —
We got to her home at last, but good God!
what a place to call by the sweet name of
home. We entered a place, that led back
under and through a building—somewhere.
She went a-head, and we followed, until
we reached daylight, then through a yard,
up a pair of ricketty old stairs, ihen through
a room filled with a family, into her room.
She rented that room from the people
through whose room she had access to her
own. Her rent was $2 a month or 50
cents a week. The paltry fire kept up by
her poor neighbors, was all she had to
warm her and her three children. They
were all huddled up in the straw, in one
corner, and had some old rags and some
thing like a coverlet about them. The eld
est was a girl about seven years old, the
next a boy of five, and the youngest was
only two years old. These were three as
pretty children as wa ever laid eyes upon;
and was it not a pleasant sight to sec their
sparkling peepers, when they discovered
that basket. They wanted food —they
were half starved ; they did not seem to
mind the cold, although they were all but
naked.
We had onr hands full the rest of that
day ; but before we left that quartette, they
had a room, a fire of their own, a month's
vent paid for, a mattress, bed, blankets,
quilt, and wood for a week. We used up
the five, and all we could spare from our
own house, to accomplish these objects.
’ The next morning, the mother came round
to our house, and with her was the little
girl, whom she called Jeanette. Snow co
| vered the ground, and she was bare-foot.
WPe hadn’t thought of that, neither had Su
san. To remedy it, we went down town,
j and made her mother let her remain until
we got back. We went to a friend's house
near the Battery. We had business with
him, and, while there, we told his little
daughter the story. She had lots of little
old shoes and stockings, that would have
answered lor our little Jeanette. But the
little miss had lost a costly bracelet, had
calls to make with her mother, was in a
hurry, but would pick out her old shoes,
and have them ready, if we would call,
that day week. As we came up home, we
remembered it was Saturday, and that there
were a few dollars at our credit on that day
in the Sun Newspaper Establishment. We
stepped in and receipted for it. and little
Jeanette went home to her mother with
stockings and a pair of shoes upon her feet.
“The blessings which even the weak
and poor can scatter, have their own sea
son.”
How often do the rich and wealthy ex
claim, “ Oh, we would give, but there are
so many impostors, we might be deceived.”
Suppose you are ? But you need not be!
Go with the poor beggar; look with your
own eyes; and if the object is deserving,
you will lie down upon your pillow, after
doing an act of real benevolence and char
ity, administered by your own hands, and
sleep more peacefully than the squander
ing of hundreds of your surplus wealtli
upon your own pleasures, could bring.
This is no fiction ; and if the gentle gill
who gave the gold for the relief of the
poor widow, should ever see these lines,
she need not blush at reading this tribute
to her goodness. She deserves it all; and
to those who wish to have an answer to
the query of
‘Who’s the Man that lives next poor V
we would most respectfully beg them to ex
amine well, and see that they answer not
to the description.
3
NORTH CAROLINA PERSONIFIED,
—OR
A SUMMER IN THE SOUTH.
BV A SOUTHRON.
Morals of North-Carotina—Character of the
North-Carolinian — His phlegm uni philosophy
—His performances—His orators and histori
ans—Shipping and Manufactures —3fotm-
tains atui Farms —Diamonds and Minerals.
“We have not forgotten our pledges,”
said our sea-green orator from Alabama,
“ and if not too full of better stuff, 1 pro
pose to give you an ample supply of the
Old North State. No one dissenting, he
proceeded with his extracts in the follow
ing language, which lie assured us was de
rived from other sources than his own.
“ The genius of North Carolina,” said
he, “is clearly masculine. He would be
! as little interested if the scents which he
; gave forth were cologne instead of turpen
tine. There he stands, an enormous wasts
of manhood, looking out upon the Atlan
tic. His form, though bulky, is angular,
—one shoulder rather higher than the oth
er, and one leg standing awkwardly at ease.
His breeches, you perceive, are not of the
most antique fashion,—equally short and
light. He has evidently outgrown them,
but the evidence is not yet apparent to his
own mind. His meditations have not yet
conducted him to that point, where the ne
cessity of providing himself with a better
fit, a more becoming cut, and a thoroughly
new pair, comes upon him with the force
of some sudden supernatural conviction.
When they do, he will receive such a shock
as will cover him with perspiration enough
for a thousand years. He stands now, if
you bclive ine, in pretty nearly the same
attitude which he maintained when they
were running the State Line between him
and his northern brother (Virginia) to the
great merriment, and the monstrous guffaw
ing of the latter. He carries still the same
earthen pipe, of mammoth dimensions, in
his jaws; ami you may see him, any day,
in a fog of his own making, with one hip
resting against a barrel of tar, and with his
nose half burried in a fusmigalor of tur
pentine. He is the very model of that sort
of constancy which may at least boast of
certain impregnablenesses, llis tastes and
temper undergo no changes, and are what
they have been from the beginning. The
shocks of the world do notdisturb his grav
ity. He lets its great locomotives pass by,
hurrying his neighbor ihrottgh existence,
and congratulates himself that no one can
force him into the car against his will. He
is content to be the genius of tar and tur
pentine only. His native modesty is quite
too great to suffer him to pretend to any
thing better. The vulgar notion is that
this is due wholly to his lack of energy.
But I am clear that it is to be ascribed al
together to his excess of modesty. He as
serts no pretentions at all—he disclaims
most of those which are asserted for him.
Some ambitious members of his household
have claimed for him the first revolutiona
ry movements —and the proper authorship
of the Declaration of Independence. But
his deportment has been that of one who
says, “What matter 1 I did it, or I did
not! The thing is done ! Enough! Let us
have no botheration.” Do you ask what
he does, aud what he is 1 You have the
answer in a nutshell. He is no merchant,
no politician, no oiator; but a small plant
er, and a poor farmer, —and his manufac
tures are wholly aromatic and spiritual.
They consists in turpentine only, and his
modesty suffers him to make no brag even
of this. His farm yielJs him little more
than peas and pumpkins.—His corn will
not match with the Virginian’s, and that is
by no means a miracle. 1 have seen a
clump of sunflowers growing near his en
trance, and pokeberries and palma christi
are agreeable varieties in his shrubberies.
Os groundnuts he raises enough to last the
children a month at Christmas, and save
enough for next year’s acre, llis pump
kins are of pretty good size, though I have
not seen them often, and think they are apt
to rot before he can gatherthem. llis cab
bage invariably turns out a collard, from
which he so constantly strips the under
leaves that denuded vegetables grows fi
nally to be almost as tall as himself. His
cotton crops are exceedingly small—so
short in some seasons as not to permit the
good wife to make more than short hose for
for herself and little ones. His historian is
Shovco Jones.”
“ Where the d—l is Sltocco Jones, now?”
was the inquiry of the little red faced stran
ger. “He wrote well, that Jones. His
defence of North Carolina against Tom Jef
ferson was the very tiling, and I have
seen some of his sketches of the old State
that were a shine above Irving's.”
“No doubt! no doubt! Jones and Smith
have no doubt gone on a visit to their cou
sin German, Thompson.” To proceed :
“His oiators are Stanley and Clingman,
who are by no means better than Webster
and Calhoun —and his shipping consists of
the “Mary and Sally,” and “Polly Hop
kins .”
He must have others, for I saw a
wreck at Smithville in 183-, on the stern
of which I read “ Still Water.”
“She is there still, and still-water at that.
She was beached in 1824—the “Sleeping
Beauty” taking her place, between Squam
Island, Duck’s Inlet, Old Flats and Smith
ville, till, lingering to long in the river, the
tide fell and left her on the Hognoseßank.
But to proceed with our authority,” said
the orator.
“ Wilmington is his great port of entry
—his city by the sea. Here he carries on
some of his largest manufactures, convert
ing daily into turpentine a thousand bar
rels of the odoriferous gum. His dwellings
here are of more pretension than elsewhere.
He has latoly been doing them up, rebuild
ing and re-touching in a style that shows
that he has suddenly opened his eyes upon
what the world has been doing elsewhere.
The change is really not in unison with
his character. It sits unnaturally upon
him, and gives him a slightly fidgetty man
ner, which is no ways prepossessing. He
seems to be impressed with an idea that the
world requires him to bestir himself. He
has a certain respect for the world, and is
not unwilling to do what it requires, but he
moves slowly and awkwardly about it. If
he can accomplish the new duty without
disparaging the old habit, he has no objec
tion; but he seems quite unwilling to give
up his pipe, his tar barrel, and hrs luxu
rious position in the shade, just on the out
er edge of the sunshine. The superficial
observer thinks him lazy, rather than lux
urious. But this is scandal, surely. lam
willing to adm t that he has a Dutch intu- j
sion in his veins, which antagonizes the
naturally mercurial characteristic* of the
South, hut it is really a Dutch taste, rather
than Dutch phlegm, which is at the bottom
of his failings. It has been gravely pro
posed, to neutralize his deficiencies by a |
foreign grafting, by the introduction of a j
colony from Bluffton, in South Carolina— j
otherwise called Little Gascony—and no |
doubt an amalgamation with some of the j
tribes of that impatient little settlement, I
would work such a change in his constitu- j
tion as might lead to the most active de
monstrations. It would be as the yeast in
the dough, the hops in the beer, the cay
enne in the broth. The dish and drink
would become rarely palatable with such |
an infusion. But, even if we allow our j
brother to be indolent, or apathetic, we are I
constrained to say that he is not without
his virtues. His chief misfortune is, that;
knowing them to be such, he has grown j
rather excessive in their indulgence. llis
prudence is one of his virtues. For exam
ple, ho-will owe no money to his neigh
bors at a season when States beggar them
selves in the wildest speculations, and dis
honor themselves through a base feeling of
the burden of their debts. Speculation
cannot seduce him into following their
foolish and mean examples. He believes
in none of the fashionable bubbles. Fan-1
cy stocks have no attractions for him. lie ;
rubs his forehead, feels his pockets, and
remembers his old sagacity. Sometimes
he lias been beguiled for a moment, but a
moment only, and his repentance followed
soon. He has been known, for example,
to lay down a railway, and has taken it
up again, the more effectually to make
himself sure of being able to meet his con
tracts. llis logic is doubtful, perhaps—his
purpose and policy, never. You cannot
gull U rn into Banks, though, strange to
say, he still halts with a face looking too
much in the direction of Whiggery. And.
with the grateful smell of his turpentine
factories always in his nostrils, though
with no other interest in manufactures, you
caur.ot persuade him that a protective tariff
is any euch monstrous bugbear as wheu
it is painted on the canvass of his South
ern sister. Os this Southern sister he is
rather jealous. She is too mercurial to be
altogether to his liking. He thinks she
runs too fast. He is of opinion that she is
forward in her behaviour—too much so
for his notions of propriety. A demure
personage himself, he dislikes her vivaci
ty. Even the grace with which she cou
ples it, is only an additional danger which
he eschews with warning and frequent ex
hortation. His error is, perhaps, in assum
ing her in excess in one way, and he only
proper in the opposite extreme. As little
prepared is he to approve of the demeanor
of his Northern brother. Virginia is none
of his favorites. He has never been satis
fied with the high head she carries, from
the day when that malicious Col. Byrd, of
\Vestover, made fun of his commissioners.*
The virtue of our North-Carolinian runs
somewhat into austerity. We fear that he
has suffered, somehow, a cross with the
Puritans. His prudence is sometimes a
little too close in its economies. His pro
priety may he suspected of coldness; and
a very nice analysis may find as much fri
gidity in his modesty, as purity and sensi
bility. He is unkind to nobody, so much
as to himself. He puts himself too much
on short commons.f He does not allow
for what is really generous in his nature,
and freezes up, accordingly, long before
the 1 Yule Log’ is laid on the hearth at
Christmas. His possessions constitute, in
wealth perhaps no less than size, one of
the first class States of the Confederacy,--
yet he has always to put the pToper
value on them. His mountains—of which
we shall give hereafter a series of sketches
—are salubrious in a high degree,—very
beautiful to the eye, and full of precious
minerals and melals.J But his metallur
gists do precious little with the one, and he
has failed to commission a single painter to
make pictures of the other. He lias some
first-rate lands scattered over his vast do
mains—the vallies between the mountains
making not only the loveliest, but the most
fertile farmsteads, while along his South
ern borders, on the seaboard, it is found
that he can raise as good rice as in any
other region. But he is too religiously
true to tar and turnpentine, to develope the
rare resources which he possesses and might
•See the Wostover Manuscripts, one of the
pleasantest of native productions, from a genuine
wit and humorist, and a frank and manly South
ron
■fTlic venerable Nathaniel Macon, a very noble
and virtuous gentleman, has boon heard to say to
his friends, “Don’t come to sec me this season’
for I’ve made no con'. I'll have to buy.”
Jit is not so generally known that the only dia
monds found in the United States, have been
found, of lato years, in North Carolina. Some
six or eight have been picked up without search,
attesting the probnblc abundant of the region.
unfold by the adoption of only a moderate
degree of that mouvment impulse which
the world on every side of him exhibits.J
He has tried some experiments in silk, but
it seems to have given him pain to behold
the fatiguing labors of his worms, and
averting his eyes from their sufferings, he
has forgotten to provide the fresh mulberry
leaves on which they fed. W hen they
perished, his consolation was found in the
conviction that they were freed from their
toils, with this additional advantage over
men, that their works would never follow
them. llis negroes are fat and lazy, pos
sessing, in the former respect, greatly the
advantage of their masters. Our North-
Carolinian will he a lean dog always—
though it would be no satisfaction to him
if the chase is to be inevitable from the
leanness. llis experience refutes the pro
verb. Certainly, the contrast is prodigious
between his negroes and himself. They
have the most unctuous look of all the
slaves in the South, and would put to ut
ter shame and confusion their brethren of
the same hue in the Yankee provinces—
the thin-visaged, lank-jawed, sunken-eyed,
shirking, skulking free negroes of Connec
ticut and Rhode Island. Our North Caro
lina negro rolls, rather than walks. His
head is rather socketed between his shoul
ders, than upon a neck or shaft. \\ hen
he talks, it is like a heated dog lapping \
his mouth is always greasy, and he whis
tles w henever he has eaten. He is the em
blem of a race, the most sleek, satisfied,
and saucy, iu the world. \ou see the be
nevolence of the master in the condition of
the slave. He derives his chief enjoy
ments, indeed, from the gay humors of the
latter. He seems to have been chosen by
heaven as a sort of guardian of the negro,
his chief business being to make him hap
py. Our North Carolinian, with all his
deficiencies, is a model of simplicity and
virtue. His commendable qualities are in
numerable. He never ruus into excesses.
You will never see him playing Jack Pud
ding at a feast. He commits no extrava
gancies. You will never find him work
ing himself to death for a living. He is
as patient in his desires as he is moderate
in his toils. He seems to envy nobody.
You can scarcely put him out of temper
lie contracts no debts, and is suspicious of
those who (10. He pays as he goes, and
never through the nose. He wastes none
of his capital, if he never increases it: and
his economy is such, that he never trou
bles himself to furnish a reason for his con
duct, before he is aske 1 for it. In truth,
he is almost too virtuous for our time. He
seems to have been designed for quite ano
ther planet. He is totally unambitious,
and though you may congratulate yourself
at getting ahead of him, you will be motti
fieJ to learn from himself that this is alto
gether because he prefers to remain behind.
He has no wants now. that I remembet,
with a single exception. W ithout having
a single moral feature in common with Di
ogenes, lie perhaps will be obliged to you
if you will not interrupt his sunshine."—
Charleston News.
§Our orator must not forget the new ii ail Hoad
progress of the Old North State. It strikes ns
she has already turned over anew leaf,and prom
ises to become a moving ehara-ter — [Utb
UsS’” A Western paper records the mar
riage of Mr Timothy Strange to Miss Re
becca True.
Well, this seems strange, hut neverthe
less ’tis true.—Bee
It seems true, but nevertheless is strange.
At breakfast Old Rodger, throw
ing down the newspaper with violence, ex
claimed, “D—n that Crevasse!” “ What
did you say!” asked the landlady, with a
look of horror. “Oh,” said he, “I merely
inquired why they don’t dam that cre
vasse at New Orleans. There s been noth
ing elsein this d—d paper forsix weeks.—
Boston Post.
“Old Rodger” will have perceived that
his wishes have been complied with. The
crevasse has bean darn’d.
Ufa?” If five and a half yards make a
perch, how many will make a trout ? If
two hogshead make a pipe, itow many will
make a cigar 1
{Sigp> An Irishman received a challenge
to fight a duel, hut declined. On being
asked the reason, “Och,” said Pat, “would
yon have me lave my mother an orphan V
Prince Henry once said, that
“ all the pleasure in the world is not worth
an oath.”
I gy What is the difference between
Noah's Ark and Joan of Arc 1 One was
mule of Gopher-wood, the other Maui off
Orleans.