Newspaper Page Text
AT HOME
Froth Without Fury.
From Saturday Evening Post
The late Augustus H. Garland, of
Arkansas, was a senator from that
state before he resigned to become
attorney-general under President
Cleveland. . |
He and Senators Matt Butler, of
South Carolina, and Dan Voorhees, ot |
Indiana, were cronies and played ^
many Jokes on one another. Garland,
was very fond of candy and ate great
quantties of It One day a constituent
of Senator Butler's, sent him a dozen
cakes of real tar soap—black, shiny
and pure. Butler saw a chance for a
joke, so he summoned Senator Voor
hees and told him that he intended to
place a chunk of the soap on Voorhees’
desk. If Garland asked for it Voorhees
was to give ft to him as candy.
Garland came along, saw the tar
soap and reached for it, saying:
"Candy, eh? Well, I guess Ill eat
this piece.” v
He bit off a liberal mouthful and be
gan to chew it. They watched him
until the lather began to form on Gar
land’s Ups, and then fled to the rear of
the senate chamber, waiting for the
explosion.
The two conspirators expected to
see Garland rlBe up and shout about
the deception. Instead, he , calmly
chewed his mouthful of soap,' swal
lowed it, took another mouthful and
chewed and swallowed that.
They went Into the cloakroom to
talk over Garland’s amazing act. As
they were wondering what would hap
pen to him, Garland came In.
“Hi, Butler,” hi) said, that’s mighty
fine candy you gaire me. Where can I
get some of It?”
"Did you like it?” gasped Butler.
"Oh, yes! It was great,” Garland
replied. "The only criticism I would
make Is that the chocolate flavor Is
rather subdued."
H. H. DBNNI80N—Dentist 'Phone
J. W. DORSETT, Dentist, now in
Davls-Bx. Bank Bldg., Phone 418.
[Solid carload Rapid-Fire Hay Press-
I Just received. R. C. BATMAN.
;20-d3t—wit
Weather that is nothing short of
perfect Is shining on this section to
day.- j
F csh eggs, 20c dozen.
W. B. FIELDS,
The best coal Is cheapest
ALBANY GOAL & WOOD CO.
Regular meeting of Albany Lodge,
No.' 713, B. P. O. Elks, tonight. See
notice.
We sell the “GLOBE’
made with glass tops,
metal to be - corroded
fruit acids.
An opportunity to supply your every
n&d for less money than ever before.
Mill Factory Syndicate Sale,
fit S. REICH.
The familiar cry of the country pick
aninnies with blackberries to Bell is
dally heard during the early morning
hours.
South Atlantic and Southern League
detail telegraphic games at The Office.
ruit Jar Rings, 5c dox
‘res. Kettles, - 85c-$]
At the popular store of S. Reich, on
Broad street, there will be Inaugur
ated tomorrow a mill-end sale that
promises to be of much Interest to the
people of this entire section. The
Reich store is closed today In order
that the preparations for the sale may
go on Interruptedly and everything
may be In apple-pie order for the open
ing of the big sale tomorrow. The
valuea offered at the sale are attrac
tively described In a full page adver
tisement In today's Herald.
The Mill Factory Syndicate sale at
Reich’s open for business tomorrow at
8 o’clock. Surely the tables are set,
the feast is spread. It
Pure, But Dangerous.
From Sacred Heart Review.
A milkman, while serving a custom
er the other morning, was asked if he
could guarantee the milk was pure.
‘It has been
“Oh, yes,’ 'he replied,
paralyzed by the public anarchist.
Buy your Coffins and Caskets from
ALBANY BUGGY CO. tf
Defined—By Father.
From Chicago Record-Herald.
“Pa, what are halcyon days?”
"S-h-h,” replied H. Peck, Sr.', as he
looked-around to assure himself that
he and his son were alone; "they’re
the glorious summer days when your
dear mamma Is far, far away frbm the
wicked, noisy city, enjoying freedom
from household cares and getting the
sweet, pure air she needs so much.”
Before purchasing your coal call and'
see our fancy lump.
ALBANY COAL & WOOD CO.
WEDNESDAY, JUNE 20, 1906.
WE WILL ADVANCE
. TO FARMERS ON THEIR COTTON CROP.
ALBANY WAREHOUSE COMPANY.
OFFICERS :
W. PACE, President. A. P. VASON, Vice-President.
, M. WILDER, Sec, and Treas, T. N, WOOLFOLK, Manager,
HTON
COKE.
Isn’t it what you put in or feed
to a Refrigerator that you should
consider ?
The AUTOMATIONS we
can prove to you^is the one to
buy. The exclusive features will
appeal to you at once.
They save the food as well as
the ice.
C. Eatman.
Such a Grandfather.
Prom Lippincott’s Magazine.
A young man was being examined
by a life-insurance official as to his
family record. Among other questions
the following was asked: "Of what
did your grandfather die?”
The applicant hesitated a few mo
ments and then stammered out, "H’m
not sure, hut I think he died in in
fancy.”
"Royal” Relish, 20c bottle; Heinz’s
Celery Sauce, 25c and 30c bottle;
Mustard, 6c, 10c and 15c bottle; Pep
per Sauoe, 10c; Worcestershire Sauce,
10c, 15c, 20c and 30c; Hirsch’s Olive
Oil, 20c; Chili Sauce, 15c; Tomato
Catsup, 10c, 15c and 25c.
‘Phone 70. W. E. FIELDS.
COAl
CARTER & CO.
’eiiousemen and Goal Dealer
>ME TO US FOR COAL.
We Are at Seme Old Stand on Pfne Street.
Wo keep la tock Montevallo, Climax, T Top and Blockton, the best
"i the Cahaba, Ala., coal fields. Also thr celebrated REX and other
irade Jelllco coals. Accurate weights and satisfaction guaranteed on
a! sold by us.
rAlso hard Coal for Furnaces, and Blacksmiths’ Coal.
Few more tons native hay,
<jjl4 Cruger & Pace.
Unlooked-for Humor.
The Saturday Evening Post records
a little Incident which happened In the
senate some time ngo. Senator Bev
eridge, of Indiana, wns Instructing his
fellow-members on an important sub
ject. In the midst of an impassioned
speech lie wns interrupted by Senator
Pettus, who arose deliberately and
addressed the chair;
“Docs the senator from Indiana
yield to the senator from Alabama?”
asked the presiding officer.
“Certainly,” said Senator Beveridge.
“1 always am glad to yield to the sen
ator from Alabama, who never inter
rupts without shedding knowledge on
the subject which Is under discussion,
and who always adorns every speech
into which he may come with his rare
and graceful humor. What does the
senator from Alabama desire to ask
me?"
“Nothing,” said Senator Pettus sol
emnly. “1 move that we adjourn.
His Little All.
From Saturday Evening Post.
Colonel William Zeveley, the leading
lawyer of the Indian Territory, once
defended a boy named Wolf for some
Infraction of the law. The boy was
convicted — although Colonel Zeveley
made a most eloquent plea In his be
half—and fined-(500.
Zeveley then made another plea for
a reduction of the fine. He explained
that the boy’s father was a market-
gardener, who worked very hard for
his money, and that a fine of (250
would be all he could possibly pay out
of his savings.
The judge was obdurate and Zeve
ley asked for twenty-four hours In
which to get the money. He sum
moned the market-gardener and told
him to get (500 and change Into silver
dollars, halves and quarters and bring
It to the court-room next morning.
When court opened the market-
gardener was there with n basket on
his arm. The Judge naked for the fine
and the gardener handed up the bas
ket.
"There it Is, Judge," he said. "There
It Is; the money I have been saving
fifty cents at a time for years. It is
all I have.”
The Judge' glared at Zeveley. “Con
found you, Zeveley,” he said; “you
know I can’t take this!"
Zeveley shrugged his shoulders and
the judge reduced the fine to (250,
which the father counted out labor
iously to the clerk of the court.
After court adjourned the judge said
to Zeveley; “Did you put up that Job
on me?”
, “Why, Judge,” Zeveley replied, "I
am surprised that you should suggest
such' a thing.”
But there was a twinkle In his north
east eye.'
Attention, Elks!
Regular session Albany Lodge No.
713 tills evening at 8 o’clock. Initia
tion, and transaction of important busi
ness. H. t. McIntosh, e. r,
H. ROBINSON, Secy.
W. R. Ward, of Dyersburg, Tenn.,
writes: “This is to certify that I have
used Orlno Laxative Fruit Syrup for
chronic constipation, and it has prov-
cu, without a doubt, to be a thorough,
practical remedy for this trouble, and
it Is with pleasure I offer my con
scientious reference.”
Continued In Both Cases.
From Boston Herald.
Many years ago there lived In Cam
den, Me., two neighbors, Dr. Huse and
Judge Thayer. The doctor had occa
sion to sue a man, and of course em
ployed his neighbor, the judge, as his
counsel. After a session of court he
met the judge and asked about his
case. The judge said It was contin
ued. Meeting him again, after another
session, and asking again about his
case, the same answer was given.
As it cost (2 or (3 each time it was
continued, the doctor thought by the
time it was settled after paying the
judge, he would get nothing.
Some time afterward the judge wns
'afflicted with a felon, and of course
employed his neighbor, the doctor.
After suffering awhile, he met the doc
tor, and said; “Doctor, this thing is
getting along very slowly. I, have
walked the floor nights for a week.
What are you doing to It?"
The doctor, who stammered badly,
replied: Con-con-coniinuing It,. by
George.”
FOR THE NEXT
1:0
»
We will offer Unusual Inducements
in Price on
100 Rolls Japs
an
d..
ma
These goods are all this season s im
portations, and m variety of pattern
and quality are unequaled.
Remember that the special price on
tjiese goods only lasts for 10 DAYS,
and are of such a substantial nature as
if
td he worthy of your most serious
consideration. .
ip •
The Steele Furniture and
Hardware Store,
' f
Leaders in High Grade Goods
Iydub home furwished cdmplete.i
Make Your Home
■ i ■■■
Home-Like
Let us help you to make your home prettier,
more, attractive and cozier than it has ever been
before.. We can furnish your little home com
plete for q very small cost. Call at our store
and let us show you what we would put in
each room of your home. You can pay part
down and the balance in monthly payments if
you so desire. 1
PIAMOS!
TWENTY INSTRUMENT S ON OUR FLOORS T
YOUR IN SPECTION.
A PIANO, like a wife or husband, is frequent]
life companion. You therefore want something to
you perfectly when you buy. We believe we can ;
you satisfaction in the two essential points—
QUALITY AND PRICE.
BEAMAN’S MUSIC HOUS
IGL Pine Street, (R .mney Building.) Albany, Ga,
5 S£