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THE CHEROKEE ADVANCE.
VOUJME VI.
EXAMINE HOW YO.UR HUMOR IS INCLINf D, ANIi WHICH THE RULINU PASSION OF YOUR MINI).'
CANTON GEORGIA. FRIDAY, MORNING. MARCH 20. M
NUMBER 12.
TUB FORTUNATE ISLES.
M JoigriN mum.
Von «nil and you seek for the Forinnate Iiles;
The Old Ore< k Idea of lb* yellow bird'i
aong?
Then etoer itratght on through the watery
miles,
Straight on, etraight on, and yoc can't pi
wrong.
Nay, not to the left; nay, not to tho right,
Bin '0, straight on, and the Isles arc in sight,.
The Fortunate Isles whore the yellow birds
'lug
Ami life lea girt with a golden ring
Those Fortunate Isles they are not so far,
They lie within r. acti of the lowliest door;
Von Osin see them gleam by the twilight slat,
V’uuoan h ar them sing by the moon's white
shore.
Ns.v, neror look back I These levelled gravo-
■tonee
They were landing sle|.s; they were stops unto
thrones \\.
Of glory for g mis that havo sailed before,
And havo set white fout on tho fortunate shore.
And what nro tho names of tho Fortunate
Mob ?
Why, I mty and Love r.ud a largo Content.
1.0 1 these nre tho Isloa of tho watery milts
That tli'.l et down from tho tlrinaraent.
I.o, Duty and L vo, anil a true man's trust;
Vi ui forehead to Qud and jour f ot iu Ike
dust;
I.o, Duty, and Iiovo, a id a sweet babe's sindee,
And these, Oil, frioud, aro tho Fortunate Isle -.
— Tlw Current.
THIRTY YEARS AGO.
It stood in a wretched side court, lead
ing ont of tho “Fivo Points,” in N. tv
York. For three yours this old frame
In use, with its rotten outside, hml Been
uutouautdd—or, at least, it was thought
bo. Oloomy and dark aud gritu and
scowling it stood, separated on all sidos
from the surrounding houses, and always
reminding people of its fixed determina
tion to fall aud demolish those who
passed beneath its shadow, for it was
crooked, crazy and seemingly falling
ajiurt.
Thero wns a deep mystc-y about this
old bn< and we,proceede i tc unravel
The church olooks of the oity had
tolled out eleven one dark, starless night
in November, bh a man, dressed in deep
blnok, ascended with noiseless footsteps
the riokety stoop of this old house, aud
applying a key to the door, euterod and
elosed it behind him.
Not a living soul had observed him.
Tho quiet court was deserted and partly
wrapped in deep slnmlier.
Gaining tho dark aud dusty hallway
tho man proceeded onward, going np a
flight of stairs and then into a musty-
smelling passage, narrow and dark as
Hades.
Here he produced a large lantern from
some corner, aud striking a match, he
lighted a candle and unlocked a strong
ly-barred door of a room situated, it ap
peared, in the very hoart of the old
honse, and surrounded by rooms on all
sides. Into this apparently seoret room
the Btranger entered.
By the rays of the candle in the lan
tern we soe a round, wood-paneled room,
cold and chilly, a three-legged stool, an
old tireless hearth, and a straw tick laid
on the dirty, dust-covered floor, and on
this tick reclines a pale, emaciated man
of perhaps flve-and twenty, tied with an
iron band around his ankles; attaokod
to the band was a chain four feet in
length. The other end of the chain was
fusteued to a heavy ring in the wall.
This man is a prisoner. The stranger
is his jailer.
“So, Robert Grantly I” says the
stranger, laying liis lantern down and
then seating himseif bn the three-leg
ged stool. “I’ve come back again, yon
see 1 Come, you ain’t sleeping I"
“Go away from my sight, you demon
in man’s form 1” cried out tho prisoner.
“Your presenoe is a poison to me I
Curse yon, what has brought you here
again ? Let me starve to death, but do
not tortu’ce me by your fiendish prea-
enoe I”
“Come, now, Grantly, you know why
I came hero again. I want you to an
swer, yes or—or no.”
“No, you plotting scoundrel 1—no, to
yonr teeth, aud for the lust time.”
“You are quite brave, ain’t you?”
sneered the stranger. “You’ll never
leave this place; it shall be your tomb.”
“Perhaps,” replied tho prisoner; “hut
I’ll not give up my life without a strug
gle, I can tell you. You false, treacher
ous Judas.”
stood in yonr way. Yon played the
part of friend to me, and late one dark
night, after drugging me, you ontioeJ
no Into this grim and lonely place, con-
sigin-d mo to this dreary and dark room
•no ior ono year I have not seen tl>»
li,;ht of day.”
“You can purchase yonr freedom by
T'«i "
“By signing a paper drawn up by
'on, Ralph Lnugly, rononnoing ah
claim to Alaiiuu Maniivko'a hand, and
■eaving her for yon to win, by consent-
. ig—by sweaiiug to leave New York till
idler you havo married her, and never to
neufion—never to breatho to a living
cl my imprisonment hero.”
“Exactly, luy dear Robort, tliose ire
the conditions whereon you gain your
iifo nud liberty, my fine follow.”
“1 scorn your offer; 1 utterly and
firmly refuse thero, and dev’y your
ibrents, Ralph Langly.”
“This room shall be your tomb, then,
rlo von hoar me?” in a rage, "your
tomb, 1 say—your tomb 1"
"You said tliarbefota^hare’s hq xa>tS"
■ opeating it. Now go, and leave me.”
“I shall return again—to-morrow
night, for yonr Inst answer, aud then
« if shall bo left, here to die. And T
nail win Marian Mandrake for my wife
-her gold, her fortune alkali be minc-
miue!’’
With a meek bow and a sneering
/nngh, Ralph Langly passed ont of the
secret room aud out of the old frame
houso.
It was llio night after the above scene
in the old house, and past ten o’clock.
The November night was oold and
..imly, with a starless sky, and the
si reefs pnrtly deserted. In the secret
n om in the old frame hoqso, sitting in
'I om and darkness on Ms old straw
tick, was tho prisoner whom we saw the
night before—the viotim of a treaoher-
uus man. ,.
“I mnsl mttkoan effort to escape," he
-grV-p.V ti# J “Ob, were f> but
free from these terrible irons, then there
might be a olianco. Oh, Marian, Marian,
whnt must you think uf my long ab
sence from you ?’•
To the outside of the door camo
familiar footsteps. Tho key grated in
the lock aud the jailer’s lantern threw its
flickering candle-light into the room,
and on the prisoner's form, laying on
his straw tick.
"You sec," said Ralph Langly, as ho
entered, “I havo oome, as I promised,
for yonr last and decisive answer to mj
proposition.”
“You have received it often enough -
my utter refusal. That’s enough. Now,
go awnv from me.”
‘ ‘Do you kuoiv that you will starve t«
death here.”
‘ “Will I?”
"Yes, you will.” LnDgly’s passion
was stirring at liis prisoner's coolm i .
“These walls are thick, this room T in
the very heart of tho hoq«» ,vnvi» ", v »
•ry cannot penetral^^UsTy
(his room. People tbinklrSHfonse un
inhabited—quite right that they should
think thus—nothing could suit me bet
ter.
“Judas,” and. the stranger laughed.
“Yes, that is rightly your name.
Whom else but an assassin imd a Judao
would have played the vile and doable
part that yon have emoted. Why am 1
here, a weak and starving man? Why
have I been imprisoned here for twelve
months? Yon aie a penniless man. I
wns paying my addresses to Marian
Mandrake, a loving girl, whim you dis
covered to have had boundless wealth.
You wished to gain her for your bride—
God help her should that be her fate—1
“Go from my sight, you murderer,
coward 1 It is my chained condition
that emboldens you to speak thus. Oh,
tor a moment's liberty 1 I should
avenge all the mouths of suffering I have
experienced at your hands.”
“Indeed 1” and Langly otme nearer
nis prisoner. “Bat it is not likely you
shall bo granted a moment’s freedom;
no, my dear fellow.” He took out his
watch now. “After eleven, getting
late. Well, I suppose I’ve received my
final answer. You must give up Marian
Mandrake. You won’t leave New York
until after tho wedding, will you ?”
“No, a thousaud times no; neither
will Marian Mandrake over be oome your
wifo.”
“You’d ratli6r stay here and starve
and die, eh?” The villain’s manner
would have aggravated an angel to
anger and rage as it did the prisoner.
“And still, for all that, Miss Mandrake
shall become my wife,”
Maddened, aggravated, almost
frenzied, by .the words and manner of
the sneering Langly, Ribert Grantly
leaped to his feet, and forgetting for the
moment that he was chained, rushed at
ain foo, with the intention of strangling
bim on the spot.
As he got out as far as his chain would
allow him, there came a strange sound
from the wall, near tho bed-tick, followed
by ?. glad cry from the prisoner, Robert
(Jkantly.
By the lantern’s light, Ralph Langly
beheld the prisoner rush toward him, go
the length of his chain, and Come to a
mdden pause, then he heard the sound
from the wall, and. looking, saw the
part of tho wood in the wall which held
the chain give way, and the heavy chain
dropping to the door told him that his
prisoner was.free.
With a sudden ery °f Io “ vNlrfu
turned to floe.
But Robort Grantly vras upon him Vi
aninstaut, and boro him dow* aahU
back on the floor; then, with one knftf
on hia broast, and ono hand grasp!*-
the throat, he exolaimed:
"aow, you coward, who la masterL
The wretch on the floor made &
POULTRY AND FISII.
DFjU.RKN in TIIKMR ARTK IiRS TRI.I,
tl« lUMITUIMI ABOUT VIIKM.
Wfcaa t Turk*?, s Usm« ar a Flak la Fit
I* ka Kalaa.
1 A poultry dealer, to whom a reporter
The wretch on me noor mono ts> j applied for information in his particular
effort to arise, but the lato prisoner}) ; (lDp Bajd . ., The olll wny of testing a
fowl’s tenderness or toughness, by yank-
grip was ono of iron. aLMtot
“Give me the key to uu1<nM|H|o
shuckles|on my ankles—quick, ImuF*’
was lbAiert’s command. ,D
“It’s in my pooket,” hissed the feY.
stricken coward.
Searching with on* hand in thi
wretch's pocket, Robert Oi»Otl| brongh:
forth tho key ol the shackles, of the
leorot room and also of the front j will-be black and smooth, the eyos livo-
which he had dropped into his poo^i-f ly an ! tho feet flexible. If old, Grooves
ing it at the wing to soe whether the
skin dirootly underneath tears or not,
doesn’t amount to much, and, more
over, spoils tho prepossession of the
bird for tho next investigator, in case
yon don’t want to buy. Geiioral appear
and's are better to judge by. If a tur
key, for instance, is yonng, the legs
Now, then, I’ve got to lock you in
here till I return with a oouplo of ofS-
cere. Yon shall pay for all tho misery I
uuve suffered, or I’m mistaken.”
Haying which, he grasped him st'J^
-i: r 'htcr Touu^ifc© Yroro-» uim 1
Ins Teet ami hurled him against the waj|
of tiro room, where he fell, partly UlY
conscious. ; si
Casting a look of hate and triumph at
his fallen enemy, Robert Grantly passed
out of the chamber, aud unlocking tb>
shncklos from his ankles gained (he
open htreet aud breathed fresh air ter
tho first time in a year.
T1IE RAINING OF LITE STOCK.
Ralph Langly, gaining oonscionsutsa,
ooked around for some opening of
iscnpo ere his late viotim returned with
the officers, as he had threatened to do.
The tables were turned on him now.
A small air-opening, just over tho bed
lick, presented itself and be wont tc
gain it by standing tiro stiff tick against
the wall and then getting upon it tba*
ho might resell the air-opouing.
He iiad got to the top of the tick svi
had grasped the edge of *he oporb .
above, wheiith« straw tick ben khoucwfWv ’*
him and fei/oviV 6h rffe* V * lant f ‘/a # / ’
where the caud I t was burning, ". he,
losing hold of the-euge of tho opening,
fell book into tliii .secret room with a
curse. . _ ' •
Hia first net was to drag the straw
tick from the lantern, but he was too
late; the flames of the candle had
entered it and douse smoko began to
fill tho room, and longues of flame be
gan to issue from the bed tick.
“My God, tho houso will be on fire.
HoiV can I escape, how, how ?’’
He tried to beat out tho flro, but to
no use; tho flames of the burning tick
caught the dry door gnd wood paneling
of tiro room and a heap of old rags in
one corner, and three minutes after the
room was one cell of flame and smoke
and burning wood.
Yells of agony, ourses on curses and
maledictions camo from the snffoouting
wretch, as ho battered at tho walls in
hopeless despair .and terror ut tho fear
«ui ram which threift*>..*'u1iun.~
Denser became the smoke, fiercer the
flames, and louder shrieked the un
fortunate Ralph. Tho room was no\v
one sheet of raging flame, winch began
to oommunicate with the other apart
ments of tho old house. A teriible cry
of agony, a shriek of dospair and pain,
Ralph Luugly fell backward into the
raging sea of flro, with hia dark soul
heavy with siu.
For three hours afterward tho fire
continued, with fury unabatM, nor did
it cease till overy piece of timlier of the
old houso had burned to ashes, and left
naught but a black, smoking pilo to
. how whore it had once stood.
Four days after, the charred bones of
Anlpb Langly were found amid the
ruins.
All we havo to add is, that Marian
Mandrake’s joy at Robert Grantly’s re
turn, was unbounded, as was nlso he-
indignation toward Langly, when she
that new dead man. And so they were
married in the sprint*.
A Narrow Escape.
T’i General Grant’s paper on Hhiloh,
in tho Century, ho tells the story of a
narrow escape of himself and two of his
staff-officers wjjfi got within range of the.
Confederate musketry on the second
day of the battle. A ball struck tho
metal scabbard of General Grant’s
sword just below tho hilt, and broke it
nearly off. Before the battle was over
it had brokou off entirely. Of the staff-
officers, ono had lost a horse and tho
other a hat. '
wiM bo shrunken and the feotdry. In
choosing hens soo that their legs and
combs aro limber, which means that
they are yonng. If the legs and combs
*'*’Arnrb*.rug! stiff, they are old, but
mf.y be good enough for a pie or soup.
A young goose will have s yellow bill
and feet red Hud dry. Ducks, if young,
will bo limber-footed; if fat, hard and
thick on the lower part of the body.
The same rale applies to wild duoks |
whoso feet, though, are red, besides
“ring smaller than those of lame ducks.
Game oan be jnHt as easily seleoted, if
ou know how, which most folks don’t,
Partridges, for instanoe, if young, will
have blaok bills and yellow legs; if old,
white bills and blue legs. All old fowls,
indeed, both domesticated aud wild,
may likewise bo told by thoir hard,
rungh, or dry foot. Hares and rabbits,
If young, will be white and stiff, with
*crs that will tear like browu paper; if
old, tho flesh will bo dark, the body liin-
l»er, and the ears tough. Tho same con
ditions may tie kept in mind in the se
lection of squirrels, save that tho flesh,
which is ulways more or less dark, must
.« jydgoD-Jijr smoothness and firmness
‘-.‘iKitcwuiiK ycwrh.iii^n, white the old
o' js will be limber and flimsy.”
“Freshucss,” said a fish dealer with
owlish eyes, wiseacre spit-ourls, and an
o'-aoiilsr inanneA, to whom tho reporter
next applied, “freshness counts more
with fish than with any other sort of
food. And why? Because fhoy’re out
of their native element when ex|>o8eJ
for sale. That’s ns natural as going to
sleep; but then tiro desired freshness
eviucos itself in various ways in different
iorts of fish, and likeulBo the stateness,
whioli ain’t so mnon desired. A good
edible cod, let me say, will have very
red gills, tho body thick at the neck, the
fl sh white and firm, and something of
brightness remaining in the eyes.
When flabby tho cod ain’t to be han
il rod aftor, loast of all bought. Here is
i fine salmon, whose newness is attested
b/ tho fine redness of the flesh, and par
ticularly of tho gills, the brightness of
.he scales, and the stiffbuss of tho entire
nody. Shad, if d' .il, aie .whiisj a.'ni
rhnfk; giflTfred, eyes bright, body stiff
vd firm. Much the same requirement
should be looked for in tho mackerel,
uid with extra care; for tho mackerel is
id tonder that ho doesn't curry or keep
so well, unsalted, ns other fish. In
ohoosing striped bass, if tho eyes are
sunken, aud the gills pale, they have
been too long out of the water. Their
fineness depends upon their being put
ou the fire as soon aftor heiug killed as
possible. Jf you must buy trout that
are doud, see that tiro gills are red and
hard to open, the eyes lustrous, and tho
body stiff. Pretty much tho same rule
./ill answer for selecting blnelish and
many other favorite varieties as for
striped bass. ’’
Dollars and Cents.
Am: 'NO well-bred people a mutual def
erence is nffected; contempt for otlnrs
disguised; authority concealed; atten
tion given to each in liis turn, and an
easy stream of conversation maintained,
without vehemence, without inf. imp-
tion, without eugernes.-i for victory, aud
without any airs of superiority.
Whnt the Alrmbrm of nn A«rlenlinrnl
Club Think About It.
STRAY BITS OF HUMOR
FOUND IN THR roi.UUNN OP OVt BX
I'll ANU KM.
Oan we, on land that is worth (CO to
312(> per acre, o< impute with tiro stock
raising of the West, where extensive
pastures,covered with nutritions grassos,
may be purchased for from $1 to $l> au
acre? Several dairymen, prosout at tho
latest meeting ot tho Columbia County
Club, know they oan raise better oows
limn they eau buy, and they get fair
profit from butter.. Another objects to
this rchouroe; it is so diffioult to obtain
good help iu the honse, and almost im
possible to keop help if much butter is
made. no buys calves of men who
ship milk to Now York; gets them when
a few days old for 91-50 each; puts them
ou oown until six weeks’ old, then ships
thorn to New York, rooeiviug 98 to $14
inch. One threo-yenr-old heifer fatted
over 370 worth of oulvos since last De
cember. Ho finds it profitable to raise
younor *iigs, which sell at six wuekB for
j?2 vro ought to keep
more hogs, eHpeoially if wo have orchards
for them to rnu in. Lets hia hogs run
through tho summer ou clover pasture,
with a little graiu. In tho fall feeds
■mall potatoes, aud finishes with a
month’s feeding of heavy grain. Would
rather raiBo the money than raise oows
when he ouu buy them for 3-1*1 or $50.
Au aged funner gavo interesting remi
niscences of sixty yoars ago. It whh
oustomary thou for farmers’ sons to hire
out to neighboring farmers. Tho
daughters thought it perfeotly honorable
to hire out iu the sumo manner. They
were treated ns members of tho family,
and in many oases remained ns perma
nent inmates throngh marriage. He
thiuks oity styles aud oity boardors re
sponsible for this departure from tho
simple oustoms of the past, making our
youug people dissatisfied and restless,
lie thinks sheep-raising profitable, in
nddiD'ip to oilier stoojj. ^Yi^li suitable
oare sheep pay double on tho invest
ment every yeM, and the surplus stock
is easily disposed of. Another finds
profit iu horses; has sold three-yeur-old
colts for $250; cousiders a yonng horse
three to four years old at 3200 more
profitable than sheep or cuttle. It la
necessary, however, to koep good stock;
to breed from {ioor stock is a mistake, os
it also is to breed fast horses. There is
a constant demnnd for heavy druft
horses in the cities, selling readily for
from 3500 to 3800 a pair. Objeetiou
was luudo that colts bite close, injuring
mendows aud pastures; also, very littlo
manure can be rnndo from that kind of
stook. Tho snmo money invested in
sheep or cattle would tend to iueroaso
tlio productiveness of tho farms—tho
end to which all methods must be sub
servient.
It was n«ki«’i Chairs—A Traaa Nrbaal-
Aa Aasrrtlaa I’raTrS -DaarSlaa litas
“Batilaa”—A Oa| l aw, Kia.
imvKR MFona.
A Chicago gontleman who
feasor of languages, moved to Te:
started a school. His business flnurm
so well that ho was soon enabled to take
onto himself a better half in the aha|ie
of a widow with considerable property.
On the morning after his marriage he
opened aohool as usual, but did not
seem to be in a very hilarious mood.
Tho reason for the Chicago man’s dis
satisfaction leaked out whou he dis.
missod school, for he said : “Young
ladies and gentlemen, I do not think
that yon have treated mo courteously.
None of yon have oongrntnlatod me on
my marringe. When I taught iu Chi-
oago I don’t remember of ever having
got mnrriod a single time without my
pupils congratulating mo on the happy
ovi-ut.”—Texan Si/tingt.
IIonOON'S OUOIOB.
Hiring tiro lute cold snap Moses
riohunmburg laid in a big lot of wood,
lie encouraged nis sou to pilo it up by
saying:
“It you vasli a good little poy, Isaac,
you may pile np dot load of wood,”
“Aud veil I vash a pad little poy, fod
der, vot den ?’’
“Den you shall pile dot wood np
voder yon vents to or not, or I dras
yon.”—Texas Siftings.
HUH (1AVK HIM SoMCTHINO.
I’ll write you a ballad on dollars and
oenta, every line shall be perfeotly truo;
and I’m writing these verses on pur
pose, my friend, to present a few Lome
, , , , , , . . . , i truths to yon. A quarter looks small
heard c-f her lover s imprisonment bys , , , ... , ,, ....
,, , . . . , •* when you’re out with “the boys, fifty
ihar. n< * tv -intul man And timv wuro * . .. _ . .
nts or a dollar soon goes ; and a ride
on tho car or a beor is but five, which is
“nothing,’’ bh everyone knows. If you
squander a quarter each day of your
life, though it may seem remarkably
queer, if you put it away in the bank
you would have 391.25 in a year. But a
quarter a day is not half what you waste
if you count yonr occasional sprees;
what, you waste will well pay for yonr
board and your clothes, and the rest yon
cit savo if your please. So shut oil
your treating, aud walk when you can,
and give up the excitement you’ve
craved, and you’ll be quite surprised at
the end of the year at the tidy amount
you have saved.
An Ancient Vagabond.
CoE Thomas We'^fworth Higginson
amazed and amused au audionco tho
other evening, by giving them a sketch
of a New England vagabond of a cen
tury ago. He said: “Theft wns the oc
cupation of the hero. For thirty years
ho stole everything conceivable, includ
ing wives, in winning whom ho was as
gifted and versatile as a sailor. His op
erations extended from Canada to Vir
ginia, and ho had a wifo in almost every
town iu which he tarried for any length
of time. lie find a speoial faculty for
getting his pick from sowing oircles aud
prayer meetings. At different times he
passed himself off as a clergyman and
as a physician. He deserted from tho
army, and lod his pursuers a chase
across tho hills of Massachusetts, steal
ing horses for himself as often as he
wanted a fresh mount. For stealing a
silver spoon aud other small articlos ho
was sentenced to death, but on reach
ing the gallows found a commitment
which changed the sentence to impris
onment for life. While in prison he
made a record of slang und 11 ish terms
to which little has since been added.
Finally escaping, ho w.-ut back to his
oldest wife, in Maiuo, who had borne him
nine children, and devoted himself to
doctoring, eloping once or twioe, and
writing his memoirs, whie’i wero pub
lished thirty yeurs ago. 1 ’
It was ono of the genus trump. He
knocked nt the door of a house and
when 'a kindly-looking woman opened
it lie said:
“Madam, I am very hungry. I have
had nothiug for a week back.-"
"Why, you poor soul," aaid < gooa
women, “wait a moment atv .'11 Und
sourol UiiULfor
And sho gave him an old porous piaster
and closed tho door before he* had fin
ished thanking her.—Atlanta Ounstitu-,'
tion. j '"* v '
AN AHSKUTION TUOVED.
Mrs. Da Blank—"What nonsense I
Here is one of those newsjkper para
graphs s >ying that no woman can
sharpen a pencil. ’ i
Mr. De Blank—“Well, thp paragraphs
tell tiro truth sometimes.”
“I would just like to know if you re
gnrd the truth as told in this case?”
“It is purity told, certainly."
“Oli I you think so. Now just stop a
moment, Mr. Do Blank. Is there any
physical, mentr. or moral reason why n
woman can’t sharpen a pencil, if she
tries ?”
“Yes." ■ r .
“Oh, indeed I Well, why is it?”
“i! r inse sho generally tries to do it
with a table knife.”— Philadelphia Call.
noabdino nous* “buttIBS.”
Major Nutt Gets Married.
Hotenctb marohes steadily forward
with the torch of progress, cleuriug up
the mysteries of yesterday, and bringing
those of to-morrow dimly into view, bat
she ’stands palsied in all her efforts to
make out what it is that ohewa off ihe
brim o£ a boy’s hat.
Major Nutt, the midget, appeared at
the Crawford House, Boston, as groom
iu a bridal party that bad been waiting
for him rather impatiently. The bride
was Miss Clara Oorfield, of East Bos
ton, a very pretty brunette, eighteen
yoars old, aud eighteen inches taller
than the Major. Magistrate Rideout
performed the oeremony and then the
couple received tho congratulations ol
the small company present. Majoi
Nutt, who,- until the day of the wed
ding, has been a bachelor, is forty-four
yearB old, and first met his wife at a mu
seum in Boston two years ago.
Two young men stood in the doorway
of a cigar store last night on Clark
street, near Indiana, when a peculiar-
looking individual passed by. One of
them looked at tiro pedestrian with un
disguised contempt stamped on every
feature. This was noticed by his com
panion, and he asked:
“Know him ?”
“I should smile.
“Who is lie?”
“He’s a ‘Betty 1’"
“A what?”
“A Betty. You don’t pretend to say
that yon know nothing abont Betties?’
"I’m honest—really, I’m clear off”
“Well, a Betty is tho hosband ot
a boarding honse iandludy. ”— Chicago
an otrrnAOK.
A Galveston mendicant was in the
habit of calling at tho office of a local
lawyer and receiving a small sum on ac
count of former acquaintance. Last
week the mendicant ealiod as usual, but
the lawyer said:
“i can’t assist you any longer as I’ve
got a wife now, and rued all the money
I can lay my hands on.”
“Well, now that’s just coming it a
little too strong. Here yon actually go
und get married at my expense.”
A DOd LAW.
Bob Potson was a great legislator. He
did not understand parliamentary law
quite ns well as some people, for onoe,
when oalled to the chair during a heated
diseassiun, he took off his coat and
joined in the debate. Shortly after his
arrival Potson was appointed a member
of the judiciary committee.
“Bob,” said the chairman of tfie com
mittee, “don’t go away to-night, Mfe
want yon to help as frame a dog law.”
“Help frame it, why, hang it, man, I
don’t need no help. I am as good a
carpenter as there is in the State und oan
make a frame that would tickle a Presi
dent. What kinder wood do you want?”
—Arkansas) Traveler.
b