Newspaper Page Text
* ♦
THE CHEROKEE ADVANCE.
tjbt
VOLUME VI.
KXAMINE HOW YOUR HUMOR IS INCLINED, AND WHICH THE RULING l’ASSION OF YOUR MIND.’
CANTON. GEORGIA, FRIDAY, MORNING. MARCH 'll. 1885.
NUMBER 13.
THE OUTSIDE DOG.
Yon m«y ling of your dog, your bo'.tcua dog
Or of any dog that yon p'e**o;
I go for th* dog, th* nice old dog,
That knowingly take* bit eat*.
And wagging bit tail outiid* th* ring,
Keeping aiwaya Ida bon* in light,
Caiea not a pin in bit found old head
For cither dog in the fight.
Not hit it tho bono they arc fighting for,
And why should my dog tail in
With nothing to gain, but a oertain chanoo
To lose his own precious skin?
There may bo a few, perhaps, who fail
To see it quite in this light;
But when tho fur fliot I had rather b*
The outside dog in the fight.
I know tliore are dogs, injudicious dog*.
'Hint think it quite the thing
To take the part of one of the dogs,
And go yelping into the ring.
But I care not a pin what all may say
In regard to tho wrong or the right,
My money goes as well as my song,
For the dog that keeps out of the fight.
FOUND.
A trim New England kitchen, with its
floor of knotty uneven pine boards
scourod to a snowy whiteness, tho red
brick hearth reflecting buck the glonru
of the crackling hickory logs and the
dresser lull of glittering tins, put math
ematically straight, after tho evening
meal—this was the scone npon which
tho autumn sun glowered redly for an
instant through (lie narrow window
panes, ere it went down behind a hank
of slate-colored clouds in the West—
and Miss Jemima Bnxford, glancing up
at the clock on a little wooden shelf be
tween the windows, snw that it was
half-post five o’clock 1
“Bless me how the time does go on 1”
said Miss Jemima. “And it don’t seem
as If I accomplished nothin’, what with
minin’ nrtor your everlastiu’ whims,
Ebeuczer 1”
Ebeuezer Bnxford, his autoeratio
sister’s senior by twenty good years,
looked deprecatingly up from his
cushioned nook in tho ohimney corner—
a week, fecble-kneed old man, with
scanty gray liairs brushed Into a meek
little wisp on the top of hia head, watery
blue eyes, and a complexion like well
cared parchment.
“I know I’m a deal o’ trouble, Jemi-
my,” said tho old man apologetically,
"but 1 try not to make any more than I
can help I"
"No, yon don’t neither I” snapped
Jemima. "I hain’t no patience with
your old pipe and your everlastin’
smoke, smoke, smokin’, till we all smell
like «n old bar-room, and there ain’t a
curtain in the lionse that don’t tell its
own story. I tell ye whnt, Ebenezer
Buxford, you’ve .just got to leave off that
mis’able habit j*’
Ebenezer shrank instinctively at the
hard, cruel tone.
"But—Jemirny ”
"I’m in earnest, Ebenezer !”
"But Ellon Dennison says—”
“I don’t care two snaps o’ my linger
what Ellen Dennison says—a pert minx,
just as full o’ airs and graces as her
mother was afore her, though she was
my own sister. If Ellen chooses to
make a fuss over yon and indulge you
in every whim, I don’t—that’s all there
is to it 1 I ain’t going to have this
smokin’ going on. You’ve just got to
quit it I”
"I might as well quit livin’, Jemima
For forty-seven year—”
Miss Jemima, however, did not stay
to hear the end of the speeoh, but bnrsl
out of tho room, muttering to kersel)
sentences of whioh the import boded
little good.
“He’ll be rigbt-down vexed, though ?’
thought the spinster, “when he kuows
I’ve sold them there packets of Virgin-
ny tobacco ho brought home on his last
sea voyage. It’s odd a man oau keep
voyagin’ to fnrrin parts all Ins life and
Dot lay up no money, alter all. But
Ebenezer never was Havin’ like the rest
o’ the Buxfords !’’
And Jemima went np stairs to rum
mime in an old red chest where she
kept her treasures, for a hank of mixed
yarn to finish a pair of socks a he had on
hand.
Old Ebenezer waited patiently by the
kitchen fire the while, until he heard a
light footstep on the door stone without,
and his face brightened as Ellen Denui
son came in.
She was a tall, fresh-complexioned
girl, with a face whioh, if not absolutely
pretty, was pleasing, and a light figure
whose grace was patterned alter tne
waving rushes by the riverside and tho
tall young elms in the meadow below.
"Well, uncle 1” she said, cheerily.
"I’ve been waitin’ for you, Ellen,"
the old man whispered, beckoning her
to come close to him. “She—she won’t
bring me no more ’baooy, and I haven't
had a whiff since four o’clock."
Eiien bit her lip.
"I’ll bring you some at onoe, Uncle
Eben.”
"There ain’t none left in the tin box I”
went on the old man, detaining her with
a grip of her nest ealioo dress. "You'll
have to go to the packet o’ blue paper iu
tho corner cupboard up statrs—too gen
uine stuff I brought from old Virginity
years and years ago, when I waru’t tho
old wreck 1 am now I Get the top pack
age, Nell—tho top one, remember 1"
"Yes, Uncle T
And away tripped Ellen, carrying her
righted candle through tho gloomy eu-
Irtes, lilte a rW-ic embodiment of Dawn
heaving her herald stast!
Miss Jemima met her at the head of
ie (a > flight of wooden, unoarpeted
i
‘ Where are yon going, Ellen Donni*
)L *"
' i ret somo tobacco for UncleEben-
t.tt "
"T> ere ain’t none left 1”
"Yes, there is—in the packet he
brought from Norfolk in the Lively
Sally I"
But I toll you there ain't 1” reiterated
Mist Jemima; "I sold it yesterday—to
peddler that came along. He gave me
live dollars for it 1”
"You sold it 1"
Miss Jemima nodded her head defi
antly.
Yes, I sold it, and you needn’t stare
at me os if I’d committed a State prison
ffense, miss 1 I’d do tho same thing
vor again ! I menu to break up Eben-
zor’s miserable trick o’ smokin’ an old
man that’s dependent on his relatives
for Lis daily bread hain’t no business
with luxuries like tobaoco—and he’ll get
no woro iu this house?”
Ellen Deunisou answered nothing, but
she turned and went quietly dowu-stai. s,
with her cheeks flushed au indignant
carlet. Miss Jemima followed her,
“Uncle 1” said the girl calmly, as tho
ild man raisod his bleared, expeotaut
eyes toward hor, "there is no tobacoi
there.”
“I've sold it 1” quoth Miss Jemima,
putting her arms akimbo.
“You’ve—sold—my tobacco I My
Blue Virginian brand ?”
“Yes, I kavo; and where’s the harm I’d
like to koow.tf I wasn’t gain’ to have it
clutterin' np toy onpboard no longer I
I’ve sold it for five dollars.”
"Then," said Ebenezer, with a sort
of stony calmness, “you’ve got just five
dollars for a pack of tho best Blue Vir
ginia tobaoco that was over put into pipe
bowl and four hundred dollars in money,
that was in a tin box iu the lowest pound
parcel but two. That’s where I’d stored
away my little savin’s. I thought they
would be safe there—but they waru’t, it
seemn. You’ve had your own wav,
Jemima, and I hope you feel better I”
Miss Jemima’s lower jaw dropped.
“Sakes alive ! why didn’t ye tell me
on it, Ebenezer Buxford ?”
“Because I didn’t choose,” said the
old man, bitterly. 'Tm sorry on Ellen’s
account. I meant sho should have a
little money of her own, but as for yon,
Jemirny, I’m free to say. that I believe
it serves you right I"
Miss Jemima sank, rather than sat,
down on a low chair by the table, letting
her head fall into her hands. To the
grasping, avaricious old woman, to whom
a dollar seemed a bright idol to be wor
shiped and bowed dowu before, this
loss was most disastrous, and none the
loss so because it had been wrought
through her own secret, spiteful ofli-
oionsness. The tears, hard, salt and
bitter as the waters of the Dead Sea,
oozed one by one down her red eyelids
and fell on the table; a low, ohoking
sob, like the croaking bird of prey, broke
from her lips.
But., alas ! her repentance had come
too late.
The autumn wore itself on, and when
tho first snowflakes drizzled through the
dull, gray air, they buried old Ebenezer
Bnxford under tho leafless willows in
the country graveyard.
Aunt Jomima packed up her belong
ings and went with her niece to a dis
tant Slate, where they could buy a little
place and try to earn their living by
means of a market garden—and so they
dwelt for two or three years.
Jemima Buxford had laid her plans to
keep her niece with her always. Ellen
was so bright and helpful and fail of odd,
ever-rendy resources, but Love sprang
into the scale opposite old Jemima, and
Love on lweighed iier._ Ellen promised
to many George Stapleton, who had the
largest farm and the most substantial
farmhouse in all the neighborhood.
“So you are from Millowfield. Queer
jld place, that,'’ said George, one even
ing, as he sat on Mi-s Jemima’s door
step, meditatively chewing a strav “1
came through there once, years ago,
whan I drove a peddler’s cart.’’
“You 1” echoed Ellen—“a peddler’s
cart, 9"
“Yes; that’s the way I laid the foun
dation of my fortunes, suoh as they are.
I didn’t always own a farm of four hun -
dr«d aor««. Ann the oddest thing nap
penad to mo there."
Auut Jomima put on her spectacles,
and starod hard at Mr. Stuplotou, while
Ellen asked:
“What was it?”
"Well, I stopped at a strange
out-of-the-way house nndor a hill,
to get a drink of water, one
morning, and a littlo old woman
with hor face tied up with the tooth
ache, and a snnbounet tipped down over
her r.ose, like an old witch ”
Humph 1” interjooted Aunt Jemima,
Gome out,” pursuod the unoouscious
Goorge, "and wanted mo to buy a lot of
tobacco. Well, tobacco wasn’t oxaotly
in my line, but the old woman was very
anxious x> Vie rid of it, so I dosed tho
bargain it five dollars; cheap euongh,
but at ( Jo same time ns much as I could
afford to pay. And I never opened the
packet until a mouth afterward, when I
was going up into (ho lumber dlstriot8 i
where I expected to find a market for
that sort of thing. And hero come* in
the queer part of my story. When I
was making up my pound packages of
tobaeoo into Rinall parcels, suitable to
my trade, I fouud iu one of them, tied
and papered like the rest, a tin box
with ”
"Four hundred dollars in bills in it I”
/airly screamed Aunt Jemima. “Yos, I
know. 1 sold you that ar’ tobaeoo 1
And when you found you’d got what
was never intended for you, why didn t
you briug it bank V”
"Gently, gently, Miss Buxford,” said
George Stapleton. "I did bring it baok
the very next week, for although tho
temptation to keep it was very strong,
yet it somehow lay hoavy on my oou-
sciouce. And whou l got baok the old
house was shut up, and not a soul in
tho neighborhood could toll mo whore
the family had moved to 1”
"And that’s true !” assented Aunt
Jemima, who had uover lived on the
best of terms with her neighbors.
“Well, seein’ the mouoy’B to como
back to tho family again—don’t blush
so, Ellen, I hadn’t said uo harm I But
I kind o’wish I hadn’t sold tho Bin
I THE R1TTLE OF NEW ORLEANS.
The Cotfon-ttnle ftHarv I'liilMlvd-tJfntrn.
JiirUton'rt Mtory of tUu I'tgtil*
Gou. Harney has exploded ono tradi
tion that was long connected with this
fight, which was that Americans fought
from behind breastworks of cotton bales.
"I asked Gen. Jaokeon, Gon. Adair aud
Gen. Ooffee, the latter haviug tho imme
diate oommand of a brigade of tho Ten
nessee and Kentucky shapshooters,
whose long riflos mainly did the work of
death, if there were any cotton linlos
used at all, and they all answered that
tho only works the Amorioans had woro
of earth, about two aud oue-half feet
high, rudely constructed of fonoe-rails
and logs laid twenty-four inches apart
and tho spneo between them filled with
earth, and if there lmd boon any works
Constructed from ootton bales they mtirft
have known it. In 1825 I was promoted
to Captain in tho First Infantry ami
sent, to Nashvillo, Tonn., to recruit for
my regiment While there I met Gena.
Jackson and Ooffee very often and ob
tained from tho former mnny details of
tho battle of Ohaluiotto that are not in
print,
" 'Thoro was a very heavy fog on the
,’ivor on tho morning of the fight,’ said
DEADBEATS AT THE CAPITAL.
lte*r*n<Witt* of llosoof Parent* wli# or*
now Inn Hurt Way.
It is wonderful how many respect
able deadbeats one moots In Washing*
ton. The leading liveryman of the
city told me the other day that he had
been asked for twenty-five cents to buy
a drink by the son of, a former Prosi-
dent not long ago, and every day 1 see
about the hotels boro great men’s sous,
whose fathers aro dead, leading the
lives of five-oent adventurers. One
had a father who long stood at tha
head of the bar of the country, ar I
another's fntlior was iu the Senate aid
hold a place in Zaoh Taylor's Cabins;.
That little old man there, yvIio goes
about witli his shoulders stooping, and
his small form clad iu the mustiest of
throadhnrcclothes, was at the beginning
of the Yvar one of the beaux of Washing
ton, and he has boon the second in duels
in whioh Senators fought Senators.
Onoe fortuuato and wealthy, he was
a neoessity at any big social gathering;
now he is glad to toko a drink with a
messenger, and like Beau Hickman
lives by his wits. There, on the
opposite soat. in the hotel lobby, is a
well dressed man who lia-s the title of
the nuiionous papers.
NTItAY NOT** THAT AYR FIND IN
IN Til KM TIIW WKItK.
Gen. Jackson, 'and the British troops | Judge, and who onoe held an important
oflloo in our diplomatic sorvioe. He
woro actually formed and moving before
l had my arrangements made. But the
.instant I saw their formation, I said to
Ooffee, “By the Eternal, they are ours I"
Coffee’s part of our line was on the flank,
Yvhich extended into tho swamp. About
a quarter of a mile from it there was a
huge plantation drainage oniml, such as
are common in the Louisiana lowlands.
Hero Gon. Paokenham formed his first
attacking column. Ilis formation wits
a column in rnasH of about fifty files
front. This was formod umlor tho flro
of tho few regular artillerists I had in n
littlo redonht in Coffee's front, ami that
of somo oaunon taken from a man of
war, placed in a battery on tne river nml
served by sailors. Ooffee, seeing the di
rection of the attack, whioh was intend
ed to turn his flunk, dashed forward and
said to his men, "Hold your fire until
✓you can see their licit buckles.” The
Virginuy. Not for the money’s sake-w' ul' oyen wero formed in two ranks be-
‘ -"ThGuTt
but my p5or old brother, Ebenezer
And Annt Jemima got tip and went
into the house, while Ellen lifted her
soft eyes to her lover’s face, saying:
"I feel as if Undo Ebenezer had put
the money into my hands, for ho always
intendod it to be mine, George I”
"And I,” said Georgo Stapleton,
"begin to believe in the old saying tha',
truth is stranger than fiction 1”
iJBldC
A Second-
Carriage.
President Arthur has good carriages,
and his turnouts will compare favorably
with any of his predecessors, says a
Washington lotter. A look nl tho one
he rode in yesterday recalled a Btorv
they tell of John Tyler, who, it will bo
remembered, got to tho White House
through tho death of a President elected
by tho people. Tyler was very fond of
a fine turnout, but his pocket was not
deep enougXi to correspond with his
tastes. One day ono of the leading mem- i came from the riflemen.
the works mentioned^ and when tho
first rank fired tho seoynd was loaded
and ready. There wero about eighteen
hundred men behind this frail cover, all
of wlitom were dead shots, and eaoh hod
100 billots in his pouoh aud tho neces
sary imvder in his horn. The British
troops came up'to within 100 yards of
i nr work without tiring u musket, it
was a beautiful sight to see. They
inarched as steadily shoulder to shonlder
as though they were on review. At 100
yards’ distance the order was given them
to charge. With it cheer mid at double
(jniek they came forward. They were'
ubout sixty' yards distant "when a long
blazing flash ran all along our lino. It
was as pretty volley tiring as 1 evor heard
or saw.
“ ‘The smoko hung so heavy that for
tlm moment I could not make out just
what had happened,’ saul General Jack-
son. ‘In another instant there was an
other sharp ringing volley that proved it
1 called Tom >
bers of the diplomatic circle was recalled
from Washington, and his magnifloem
i stablishment had to be sold. Au im
portant part of this was his oarriage,
which was at tho time tho finest by all
odds in Washington. Tyler had looked
at it many times with longing eyes as it*
owner had driven up and down Pennsyl
vania avenue, and us it had stood now
and then in front of the Wiiite House.
He feared, however, the criticism which
was sure to attend tho buying of any
thing by the President at auction, aud
called his coachman, with whom he was
familiar, to adviso with him in regard to
it. Tho coachman liked the carriage,
und was anxious that Mr. Tyler should
buy it. “But Pat, ” said Tyler, "what
will the world sav at tho President’s
riding in a second-hand carriage?”
“Och I yonr honor, they will say
nothing at all, at all. You know yon
are bnt a second-hnud President, any
way, and it seems to mo nothing could
be more fit.” Whether the President
bought the carriage or not the report
fails to state.
IBs Tandem Team.
Overton and Duncan, of my staff, aud
we galloped over to Coffee’s line. Just
tlion tho smoko rose, aud I saw that the
head of tho British column had literally
melted awuy. In front of our linos lay
' one writhing, ghastly mass of dead and
dying red-coats. Tho oolmnn recoiled
! dud fell book toward the canal,
where they had started from and were
| there informed. This time the charge
! was led by Gen. Packcuham in person,
i gallantly mounted and riding an ooolly
j and gracefully as if he was on parade.
Just as he came within range of my
riflemen I saw him reel and topple out
| of his saddle mortally wounded. I have
I always believed he fell by the bullet of a
j free man of color in tho fight who was
! a celebrated shot from the Attakupas
j country of Louisiana.’ ”— Washington
1 Sunday Herald.
♦ -
Everything In Luck.
has hobnobbed with states mail and Pres
idents, bnt he will borrow a dollar of
you if yon will lot him, and is far from
adverse to drinking without asking the
pedigroo of Ihe man who troata. Laat
night I askwd him how he liked the
olimate of the country in whioh he was
located as Minister. 1 wits sitting on
the sofa be«ide him, and thongh I was
not muoh acquainted with him, we
dropped into conversation. In reply to
tho above he said with the most win
ning amiio imaginable: “Ah, the
climate ? It was delightful. I am not
very particular about the olimate. I
oau live in any oouutry, aud I always
enjoy myself. There are many pleasant
things everywhere. I always find them.
I enjoy life. I oan do anything—in
faot” (aud here he looked me straight
in tho oyo), "I oan take a drink I”
I received hia gaM without flinching,
and my eye did not give a response,
and after fully thirty Heoonds ho said
in a sad tone, “Ah I But you don’t
drink ?”
“No," I replied, "it does not egret
with me.” There was an awkward pause,
aud then the talk went on as though
nothing had happened. The same
Judge was at the White House one day
during the Hayes Administration, and
lie was besieging the messengor for
admittance to the President. The
messenger said: "But the’ President if
engagod,'Judge,, and" he “has giveb
orders that he will See hpone.”
“Yos, he will," was the Judge’s rdply,
"Toll him that Judge Blank wants tc
see him.” ,. - *
The President said “No ono,” -was
I lie reply. '•
“I know he will see me,” continued
tho Judge. “In fact, I have an appoint
ment with him. Tell him Judge B
of L is at tho door."
In this manner, ho finally tired the
messenger out, and he consented to
announce him. In a moment ho
returned and said ho had not seen the
President, but he had seen tho Pres
ident’s private secretary, and the private
cretary hail told him to toll Judge B.
ho could go to the lowor region.
The Indian Wheat Crop.
It is a cold day when some paper does
not have a paragraph about Mr. Liviug-
stoue, a citizen of the United Btates, but
now living in Florence, Italy. Mr. Liv
ingstone used to go out riding in a
coach drawn by twenty horses; but being
forbidden to do that by the authorities,
he hitches tho twenty horses tandem
fashion to three carriages, tho first of
which is driveu by himself, the second
by his son and tho third by a coach
man. In this way Mr. Livingstone has
his fan, and vindicates his right to drive
as many ho»ses as he wishes. The
American citizen abroad is not to be
trifled with.
“Ha I ha I ha 1” he chuckled as ho
held up a ten-pound turkey for the
inspection of a pedestrian, “bnt do you
see this ?"
“Ah—yes. Buy him ?”
“No, sir-e-e 1 I won him I”
“How ?"
“Got him on a raffle.”
“Y-e-s. How long yon been at it?”
“Not over three months.”
“Is this your first ?”
“Yes.”
“Any idea of how muoh it has cost
you ?”
“O; course—got it down here in my
note-book. This bird, sir—this bird
ha* coat me $17—not a cent over that.
1 kuow men tvho have thrown away $25
without getting so mnch as a leg of a
chicken, whilo I’ve a ten-pound turkey
for $17 ! Luck ! Ah-ha 1 Urn !”—
Detroit Free. Pren.i.
The report of tho American Consul at
Calcutta ought to be reassuring to wheat
growers in this country. Tho Indian
crop for 1884 amounts to 244,000,000
busheiH, raised on 26,000,000 acres of
land—9 2-5 bushels to the acre. Tho
United Btates crop was 520,000,000
bushels, raised on 40,1X10,000 acres—18
bushels to the acre. Tho Delhi price is
80c. a bushel. The cost of transporta
tion from Delhi to Calcutta is 19Jo. The
cost from Chicago to New York is ubout
15c. Now .York is twice as near tho Eu
ropean markets is Calcutta.
If wheat can be raised and sold iD
Chicago at 80 cento a bushel, there can
be no competition between it and the
East Indian. As India has been looked
on by some as the great future rival ol
the United Btates in wheat growing,
our prominence is not likely to be dis
puted successfully.
An Incident.—A curious incident oc
curred at the funeral of the late Mr.
Overend at Retford, in England, the
other day. He had been for years iu the
habit of feeding the rooks iu a large
cluster of trees near hia own door, and
while the funeral was going on one of
them flew from the rookery and perched
itself on the bough of a tree dose to tho
grave, and rsveronUy remained there
till it was over. .
Th* Draper Tim* in Uall-RwrurlBS «*-
tit* tJiiinnrriril flmulilrn-A t'llpiier-
Hr Wan till V*r» Hurd, K»r.. Kto.
WHAT TO SAY.
The follow ng story war related to the
writer by Peter B , who was super
intendent of the Baptist Hnndny-sohool
in Raleigh, North Carolina, for man*
years:
Ono day a peripatetic missionary bog-
gar was permitted to address the school.
He recounted tho usual stories abont
heathou childreu, told of the missionary
efforts in foreign lauds, and kept talking
at tho restless little ones boforo him for
more than two hours. At last he said:
"And now, my dear children, I have
told you all about thoeo poor dear ohil-
ilrou and their needs in that far-off hea
then land. Aud now what more o*n I
iay?"
A bright-eyed little girl, who was
wearied almost to distraction, eagerly
and quickly said to him:
“Please, mister, say Amen."—liar-
t ter'» " Drawer.'’
ms tTOMAimnio oinnnnm,
"Yon have daughters, hnvo you Bot,
ilr?” said a minister to an old gentleman
with whom he had formed a casual Ac
quaintance as a fellow-passenger,
Tho old gentleman essayed to answer,
bnt the question had strangely affected
him.
"I hog your pardon ” said tho minis
♦«r, gently, "if I have thoughtlessly
awakened in yonr mind recollections of
n painful nature, Tho world is fnl! of
sorrow, sir, and perhaps my qnestion
recalls to your memory a fair, beautiful
girl, whoso blossoming young life had
withered in its bloom. Am I not right
sir?”
“No, not oxaotly,” replied tho old gen
tleman, sadly. “I have Uvo umuarriod
' daughters, mister, an’ the yonngest of
the lot is twenty-eight years old,"—A’u,-
IVctnnisoo Ingle.aide.
HWKAItTNO OFF.
“John, I thought you swore off,"
said a Fourth street woman to her hus
band the other evening,
"That’s right. I did,”
"Well, you took a drink of beer to
night. I oan smell it on yonr breath.’’
"That doesn’t count,” lie replied.
Next day she shone forth resplendent
/n a bonnet,
“Mary,” expostulated the husband.
'I thought you swore off buying bon
nets without my permission."
"Yes, I know,” she replied arohly,
"but tills one doesn't' soirni'”—Jireal:-
fust Table, '
A orAmm. .. .
“Did you‘’advertise for,-a man to do
dipping ?” sftked - a • rural/looking in
dividual who'had invade^ the editor’s
sauotum. . ...j. .
“H’m," tfaid tho Archimedes of the
printing office;- “you-don’t look like a
clipper. What have you .been working
at I" ’ ' ,
f The intruder toyed "with the office
shears and. replied:
"I’ve bfeen shearing sheep.”
The editor turned to his yellow paper
again and mnrmurod:
“You oan get a ohunco down ukr-
brokers’ offices, down in State .'tree';
twelve dollars aud a Iiuif clip."— "o+-
Um Bulletin.
Tin PUOP1R TIMR TO OAuT
Mistress of the house—Who was it
the door, Bridget ?
Bridget—The butcher, mu’m, uftlier
his money.
Mistress of the house—And did you
«11 him that i wasn’t at home ?
Bridget—Yis, mu’m.
Mistress of the house—What did he
Bridget—Shore, mu’m,an’he axed me
whin ye wud be at home, an’ Oi touhl
him that ye were “at homo” on Thurs
days.—jN. Y. Times.
HIGH-MIIOED DRUGGISTS.
Friend: “I should think you would
know the prioes of all drugs by tin
lime. ”
Druggist: "Why, I do, of course.”
“Then how doea it happen that afte*
you filled the prescription for that gen
tlenian you spent such a time looking
over that book before you coaid tell him
the price? You wore trying to find out
the cost of the drugs, woron’t you ?”
"Oh 1 no. I was looking over a com
mercial directory to find out how much
lie could afford to pay.”—Philadelphia
Cal’
*F Batan ever laughs it must be nt
'hypocrites; they are the greatest dupes
no lias; they serve him better than any
others, but reoeive no wages; nay, what
is still more extraordinary, they submit
to greater mortifloationa to go to hell
than the slnoerest Christian to go to
heaven.