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SUCH A LITTLE ONE.
A squad of regular Infantry
In the Commune’s closing day,
Had captured a crowd of rebels ’
By the wall of Pere-la-Chaise.
There were desperate men. wild women,
And dark-eyed Amazon girls,
And one little boy, with a peach-down cheek
And yellow clustering curls.
The captain seized the little waif,
^ And said: “What dost thou here?”
“Sapristi, citizen captain!”
I'm a Communist, my dear!”
\"y well. Then you die with the rest!”
“\ ery well. Thats my affair.
But first let me take to my mother,
V\ ho lives by the wine-shop there,
My father's watch. You see it,
A gay old thing, is it not?
It would please the old lady to have it—
Then I’ll come back and be shot.”
‘‘That is the last we shall see of him,”
The grizzled captain grinned,
As the little man skimmed down the hill,
Like a swallow down t he wind.
For the joy of killing had lost its zest
In t he glut of those awful days.
And Death writhed, gorged likea greedy snake
From the Arch to Pere-la-Chaise.
Put before the last platoon had fired,
The child's shrill voice was heard—
"Houp-la! the old girl made such a row
I feared I should break my word!”
Against the bullet pitted wall
He took his place among the rest;
A bu.ton was lost from his ragged blouse.
Which showed his soft, white breast.
“Now blazeaway, my children.
With your little one—two—three!”
The Chassepots tore the stout young heart,
And saved society.
SQUIRE BRAG’S LOBSTER EX
PERIENCE.
BY H. P. LELAND.
‘Wa!. r said f quire Brag, as be fi Ided bis arms
and looked with contracted eyebrow at an ob
ject on the table before him, -I wonder what in
the name of blue tLunder they II get up in that
dod-derced Yorkcixt? Its the most pisonest
lookin’ critter I ever set eyi s on, and sort o’
looks as if it mont be made of old copper ket lea.
Jc-ru-fa-Iem crickets 1 how it slashes its arms
about. May-be he wouldn’t tip a fellow with
them teeth, al sot in at ween its lingers; it’d
pinch right stret through a pair o’cowhide bu
tt a. I guess it’s meant to be eat. Now, who on
this green ait<h but Bill Flr.g would ever sent
such a critter as that up here to the country?
He mont have got some hollowboat or 3almon,
or some Christian vitlels; but them city fellows,
they cat ell kinc" s o trash, and ’ppiso we're as
kerless as they are. Wei, it’s human natnr—’
The squire’s soliloquy was cut short by the
entrance of Mrs. Brag, the equire's wife.
•What d ye think o’lhat, Nane> ?’ asked the
f quire, pointing at the contents of the basket.
Lawful saket! well, I do declare. Why mer
cy on us, what on airth is it? And what is it
for? And where did it cooie from—?’ And
here Mrs. Brag elevated in spirits, and catching
at something comical in the foreign air and m. n-
Duis of the ‘hopping, sprawling cr.ttir, laughed
with might and main.
'That's a lob-stir, Nancy; a York lob-stir. Bill
Flagg sent it on the hull way by express, and
this letter 'long with it. Want to read it? He
says he knew we must like lob-stirs, aud so fur-
ruded tfcis hefty feller, with hi3 lore for <Jyn-
tby. Wal, he’s smait i.s a steel trap, doin’good
luziniss; mighty likely feller; guess he'll make
a good husband for the gal; but wl at on this
round aiith did he send us that lob-etir foi ?’
‘Why, man alive, he sent it to eat, of course.
Eat I declare, squire, I dun kuowany more than
can be, bow if s to be cooked.’
■Put it down in the cellar, N*ocy. I’ll go over
to the tavern and ask Ira Clapp; be knov. s all
about eatin’ and cookin'vittles, if bedon't know
nothin'<lse. ‘ And tquire Brag went over. He
found the village 'soyer' in the bar-room. Squire
B:ag couldn't ask a plain,straight-forward ques
tion, or give a like aLsaer. He prtErred an
eel-like progress;rejoicing more in worming aD
answer on*, after two hoars' work, than getting
it in one minnte by a fair question.
In reply to the squire s question, Ira Clapp
gladly entered at lull length into the natural
history cf the enimal, but was suddenly stopped
by the tquite, who being, ‘as it were,* Grand
Duke of Biagville, decidedly hated to hear any
voice lifted up oracularly except squire Brag's,
and therefore cut Ira Clapp down like grass be
fore a scythe, with;
‘I gatss we know all bout that, Ira; what we
dun* know is 'bout the cockin' on lobstirs. I‘m
obleeged all the same, but that’s all I want to
learn. ‘
Ira Clspp,smothering bis ire at the little-great
man of the village, determined to instruct him
in the ait of cooking a lobster in such a way
that he should never hear the end of it.
People cook lcbsteis all soits of ways—some
pickle 'em, some roast 'em. some stew 'em,some
brile 'em— briled lobsters, with a leettle dish of
curry powder onto their tails, and a slice dem
on on the ncse, with a grain o'mnlgitawney
slightly epiinkled— ‘
■Wal, now, Ira, we all know that yon're a
great man on vittles; so don't go into particn-
la. s; but as I am a plain, stret-forward, old-fash-
i< ned man, jes' tell ns a plain, strct-foiward
way to cook it. ‘
*'s it a hen-lobster ?' asked Ira.
‘Haow,* said the squire, ulwilling to believe
his own <ars.
•Why, a hen lobster! Yon said yon knew all
ab-mt 'em a while ago.'
Sarlain,' replied the tqnire, ‘I'd ought to
know. Wal, it iB a hen lolster. ‘
■Then, if it is a hen lolster, and as yon know
they're cf a greenish color, the best way would
be to bile it; bile it till it is soft and yon can ran
a fork inter it like a biled tater; then, as yon
like plain, stret-forward cockin', poor melted
butter over it, and eat it with piokles.'
•Nancy!'shouts the squire, returning to his
house, '.he critter is to be biled.*
of an old rrsh-boltomed chair, and inhaled the
south bre<ze blowing in at the door, against
which the chair v as [ Ian ted.
‘Wal, ‘fore long, I guess, ‘ answered his wife.
'Hadn't yon betttr go Sj® it them taters ain't
mrst big ennf to bile, and if they be, dig a mess
for dinner?'
The squire didn't know, but after a few min
ute's reflection, hitching at his suspenders with
a thumb cf eaob hand, and rolling over a chew
of sweet, yet bitter cavendisb, he departed with
hoe on one shoulder and hickory basket in
band, for the ‘sass garden,' where he philosoph
ically dng the poiatoes and returned to the
kitchen, where he instantly desired more incl
ination.
‘Is thut pesky thing biled yet ?'
‘Wal, now, squire, ‘ answered bis better half,
who, between the lobster, the squire and the
heat of the fire, was going distracted, I never
in all my born days see sich a tough old crit
ter. I guess you'd better go down to the poal-
i Ifice an‘see if there aint letters thr re from Sam
or Cyntha. And by the time yoo‘11 git back
the lobster'll be biled and we'll have dinner.'
Down to the post iffioethe rquire went,stayed
there some time, and enlightened several hear
ers on the tariff question. The s quire conclud
ed that Lis dinntr was 'nigh over' and ‘ke< n s> t
for the lolster,retained home immediately,
‘Biled yet ?'
‘I declare to gracious, squire, I'm clear out of
all patience. Here the critter has been bilin'
and bilin' for these three hours, an' is jest us
tough aB the first minnit Budget put it on to
bile. ‘
The rquire approached the kettle, looked in—
Keep oo, mother, he's im at done. Don't you set
he's tnri.iDg all sorts o' culors ? It's always dark
est fust befoie the break e day. Have a leeilc
more patience, and keep him on the fire a mitt
longer. Try him with a fork.'
Squire Brag waited another half hour, and
then declared tl at he couldn’t go any longei
without dinner. D.wu he sat, and Bridge-
brought on the lobster. The squire sharpened
the carvir g knife on the steel, and was proceed
ing to cuik fi'tle ‘wingsand side bone' in tLemost
approved chicken-carver sty le, when he met with
a resistance; tie tquire persisted; neither party
would yield. Exasperated at beiDg unable to
cut through ‘the wing,' he raised the knife like
a cleaver and brought it down with full force
across the lobster, when the knife-blade snap
ped tff close to the handle, and the blade fell
on the door, first describing an arch over Mrs
Brag's heid.
•Lawful sakis, ; quire BrPg, what air yew do-
1 ing ?'
•Breakin' a bran-new carvin‘-knife, cost three
and sixpune. Con-sumetLis York lob-stir,what
shall we do with i ?‘
'Bridge !' called Mrs. Brag, ‘take it ont and
bile it till it.'s sift' Wt'l have it for supper.'
Share, mtrn.I bel&ve it'll be afihir biling the
pt t to puces afore I ca» make tie likes of this
hard old soger any bi* softer.'
But boiled it was; boiled till its claws cams
away and tail dropped out; boiled till its feelers
fill iffund its eyes fell in; boiled till ‘tizz’.e-iZ-
z!e,’ and the big drops fal iag on tne fire told
that Bridget's prophicy had come true, and that
the pot sLoaid boil to pieces ere the lobster
would become soft.
The remains of that lobster, piled on a plate,
ware txposed at the snpper table to the view o!
squire Brag, of Bragville, who, finding that his
teeth could make no impression on the 'bilea
critter,’even when he had tumbled to pieces,
cried out in the bitterness of Lis heart:
•Eternally smash e cu trash as York lob-stirs!
If the people to York are a bit like what they
cat, they‘re a mignty hard crowd, anc squirt
Brag says so. We ain't rich in the -«nntr.T.. ««.
mew, nm we aim got down to eatin' biled reck,
yet awhile, and I pray we never may.
"FORTY YEARS AGO.”
Drifting Sands from the Mountains
and Foot-hills of Northeast Georgia.
A Brilliant Romance Based Uf on Facts.
By G. J. N. WILSON.
CHAPTER VI.—Continued.
“Well ! If that don’t beat all!” exclaimed Joe,
as Julius folded the paper and put it in his pocket.
“I tell you what,” continued he in a rage, “that
chap must answer to the blow of my horn for writ
ing that let:er. I'll follow him through the inner
door of his big palace, and slap his jaws uni il he
will not know himself from a moon-eyed kitten;
and if that fails to knock l he lie and slander off
his tongue, why then I’ll wash it off with his own
blood, and no mistake.”
“No, no, Joe,” said Joe. “Let the miserable
creature pass, at least for the present; for although
this is too much for human nature to bear in silence,
I have, after studying the whole matter over again
and again, come to the conclusion that it is the wis
er plan to say nothing anil let him alone.”
“But it is too much, and—”
“Remember, Joe, that you promised to say noth
ing about this matter,” said Julius, without waiting
for the mad fellow to finish speaking.
“That’s so ! excuse me—I did not think. But he
must carry this matter no further.’
“Now I agree with you. If he repeats these base
slanders, or anything like them, I will have satis
faction for this insult, or die in the effort to main
tain my honor. Indeed, if what he has already
done should become known to the public, I will do
so anyhow •”
“That’s right, my noble fellow ! I'm teeth and
toe with you ! By George Washington and Napo-
le. n Bonaparte > you are too noble to receive an in
sult without resentment.”
,‘As the matter now stands, I would care but lit
tle about it, if I knew that Coralie did not believe
him. She surely knows how I obtained the books-”
“Yes; and that alone will give the villain the lie
for you. What on earth do you suppose made him
write such a monstrous falsehood ?”
“I do not certainly know; but I think I have
studied out the reason.”
“what in the world is it ?”
“Before I answer your question, allow me to say
that what I have already told you is only a part of
the secret that you have promised to keep. In oth
er words, it is only inti odueing you to another secret
which you are likewise bound to keep. This Horace
Morone found it out before I did; and this is the
reason why he has made such a malicious assault up
on my character. I love Coralie, Joe, even more
than you do Nelly, and to my sorrow have found it
out. Horace must have seen something during the
day we were all here, that told him so, and his dark
heart seeks revenge.”
I told you so on that verv day. I told you that
Nancy, npon hearing this, told the Irish girl ( 0 j,j Qupe, or whatever his name is, had shot an ar-
who was cook, waiter, chambermaid, butler, * * ’ ’’’
scallion, seamstress or lady's maid, as occasion
required, to put on the big iron pot and bile the
lobster. *
It was a warm day, and the squire, who had
pot through baying and hadn't much to do, wan
dered round the faim and through the old farm
house kitchen in his shirtsleeves, finding sha
dy places, where there was a good strong draught
tfair, and di zing away the dby with great satis
faction uLtil the lobster was put on to boil,
when the r quire looked into the kitchen to see
how it got oo. As long as the water was cog',
if was will enough, but os soon as it began to
gtow hot, the lobster made preparations to dig
out The Irish girl never thought to pat the
cover on the pot, but btood guard with a pair of
tongs, knocking the ten-fingered blaguard,
with his eyes in the end of his thumbs' back as
Lsi as he got a claw over the side.
•Hi w long is it gwine to take to bile it?' ask
ed the t quite, as he tilted back on the hind legs
row through your heart, and you did not know it.”
“Yes; I now remtmber you did; but I had for
gotten it.”
“How came you to find out your love for the
White Angel?”
“By daily association with her in the school room.
I soon learned that her presence and my happiness
were inseparable. A chasm, wide as the heavens
from the earth, separates her from me, and I can
never pass it—I shall never make an effort to do so.
But while mv heart dies, my mind shall live ! I tell
you, Joe that I have made my mark high, and I
intend to reach it, or fall by the wayside that leads
“here we are in s pretty fix. Both of of us over
-head and ears in love, and in as poor a way of help
ing ourselves as a hungry kitten in a pail of frozen
milk- I wish I could help you, Julius; but I can
not elp myself!”
“There is no help for me, Joe. With a feeling of
anguish that I cannot describe, 1 gave the treasure
up almost as snon as I found it—even before I knew
that Coralie was, by the consent of her father, al
ready another’s. For her sake I would not harm
Horace Morone. If she loves him, and of course
she does, I endure the anguish of h:s vile slander,
rather than give her pain. For this reason I am
willing to let him pass. She shall never know of
my undying love, nor that her lo-s to me leaves a
dark sh dow qji my pathway, iq/on which no one
else can ever cast a ray of light.”
“T. 11 me, Julius, how she conducts herself toward
you 1”
“ As though I was her brother. Her maimers are
frank, friendly and unspeakably charming. She
has a smile for every one, and every one a love for
that smile. But here she is not by herself—eith* r
she or Nelly can readily bring others, under their
control by the glance of an eye, or the appeal of a
smile. Being possessed of S' >nie niystei ious chai m
w-h ch can be felt, but not expressed, they at once
command, not only the love and respect, hut the
entire confidence of their companions. Their ex
ample and moral force are worth more :o me in the
school room, than a full knowledge of all the rules
laid down by the masters on school government.’ 1
“Then you make Nelly equal to the White An
gel 1”
“1 certainly do to a great extent. In many re
spects, 1 do not see how any one could be superior
to Nelly Montgomery the very impersonation of
beauty and purity. But for some reason which I
feel, but do not understand, Coralie has my entire
heart. In all other respects Nelly is to me her
equal.”
“Has she ever said anything to you about the
simi.ariiy of your features!”
“To say that we are alike, flatters me too highly;
yet tiiis resemblance seems to be so plain that even
the smallest pup Is in school have observed it, and
sometimes tell us of it. On one occasion Coraiie
asked me what. [ thought of being so much like her
cousin. I told her that f such were the c:.se, I felt
proud of the compliment which it certainly implied.
Then turning to Nelly, I asked her if she thought
we favored each other. With a blush from which
the l-.-se might borrow a charm she replied:
“Brother Willie told me a long time ago that we
were just alike.” After some hesitation she added:
“It seems as though you ought to he my brother.”
“That,” I replied, -‘would he a greater honor
than I am worthy to receive. I know and feel,
Nell}-, the difference between us in ljj'e; hut I can
not help it. I would rise to the height you occupy
if I could. I intend—”
I was about to tell her of my purposes in life; but
the appearance of Mr. Montgomery on one of his
regular visits, put an end to i he conversation so in
tensely interes.ing to me. No suitable opportunity
to renew it has, since that time, presented itself.
So taking all things into console.I have more
on iny hands than I am able to manage.”
“Can I in any way assist you?” asked Joe.
“You can,” replied Julius, “at least in one par
ticular. I very much desire to return this letter to
Coralie without let! ing her know that 1 have ally-
knowledge of it, whatever. She is, no doubt, dis
tressed about its loss. Can you so return it, Joe?”
“As I have never read it myself, I think I can.”
“When?”
“To-night.”
“Thank you, my friend. Here is the letter.”
Joe took the paper, and returning home that eve
ning, he wrote in his fair round hand, the following
note:
“At Home, May 13th, 1851.
Miss Coralie Summerville:—Excuse me for presum
ing to address you. Idosofortiie purpose of re
turning a letter which, I suppose, you lost on the
road. Assuring you that I have not read a word of
its contents, except your namt and address on the
outside, I take the liberty to enclose it, thinking
that ;t might be of some service to k'ttu
Your hi fT?/friend,
jjvdAKfEK
When Joe had read the note .X-rot ... s y-ies. —i>d
thatIliB-V Ijei, |- e v«ftla“y n -> be- ’,- • «•
washed to conceal, He carefully encoded ltauil-Cor-
alie’s letter in an envelope, and sent ft by a negro
boy to John Montgomery, who immediately give it
to I iis niece.
On the following Monday morning Julius met his
pupils in school as usual. Neither the loss of the
letter, its restoration, nor its bitter contents in re.-
gard to himself, had made any change in Coralie’s
sunny smile. Her head sat as grandly upon her
well rounded shoulders, her jet black eyes sparkled
as brilliantly, and her musical voice sounded as
merrily as before Horace Morone dipped his pen in
the poison-fountain of slander. If, indeed, any
change had been effected, it was, perhaps, to make
her more friendly than usual. At noon, noticing
Nelly’s unwonted absence, he ventured to enquire
w ere she was.
“Gone at ter a wreath of flowers we left at the
spring this morning,” answered Coralie.
“It is unnecessary for me to ask you if you love
flowers ?” said Julius.
“Yes; I always love to look at them, and some
times I love to read the language written upon
their opening leavts. Cousin Nelly and I think
there is a cha.m about flowers, and we intend to
make an experiment.”
“What on ?”
“Excuse us—it is on—yourself. There is a sad
ness on your brow to-day that w e never saw before;
and when Neily returns, we wish a garland of flow
ers to take its place !”
“You and Nelly will please excuse my dullness
to-day. I studied till a late hour last night—read
ing the wonderful story of the deliverance of the
Children of Israel from ilie land of Egypt.”
“The closing scenes of that story are too sublime
to make you sad—they gained the Promised Land.
But here is cousin Nelly with the flowers ! Please
allow us to place ibis wreath around your brow!”
said Coralie, advancing with a beautiful garland
which she had just taken from Nelly’s hand.
“I do not,’’said Julius,“consider myself worlhyof
sUch an honor. My brow is not the throne where
such a crown should sit.”
Without regarding his words, the two fair pu
pils placed the flowers upon his brow, aud with a
gay laugh proclaimed themselves triumphant; for
the look of sadness was gone—the victim of history
as w ritten by Moses, or rather by Horace Morone,
was all smiles and blushes, while the girls disap
peared through the door, rejoicing over their vic-
tory, as well they might; for the teacher felt him
self sold by his pupils; but at a price he was, at any
time willing to pay without discount.
With th s act of pleasantry on the part of Nelly
and Coralie, Julius, to a great extent, forgot the
slander cast upon his character by Morone, such
conduct arguing, especially on the part of Coralie,
that she was by no means afraid of ‘disgracing her
self by keeping his company.’
Soon after the little episode relating to the flow
ers took place, Coralie returned alone.
“And so Nelly is absent again,” said Julius, arous
ing from the brown study into which he had uncon
sciously fallen.
“Yes,” replied Coralie, “1 left her busily engaged
in helping the little girls to arrange their play-
houtes.” I came after my bonnet, which in my
great hurry, I forgot to take with me.”
“I only wished to say in Nelly’s presence that I
think you both excellent physicians, and that I
thank you for the services rendered. Your treat-
heard her so much as mention Nelly’s name. Have
you ever heard her speak of me ?”
“I think not.”
A long silence followed. Each one seemed to be
in deep thought. Suddenly an expression of pain
passed over Coralie’s features, and leaning her head
a little forward, she placed her hands over her
face.
“Are you unwell ?” asked Julius, in a tone of ten
derness.
“Oh no!” she replied, raising her head to its usu
al proud position. “Oh no! I was only thinking
how much cousin Nelly and I were alarmed this
morning. ”
“Indeed ! What alarmed you ?
“A great drove of hogs ran at ns; but luckily the
fence was near by, and by climbing over it we got
out of their reach- I know that uncle will send
some one to protect us hereafter; but we will be
afraid to return tli s evening.”
“I am sorry that you and Nelly were alarmed,
anil it is very pa.nful to hear that you were in dan
ger; hut please dismiss your fears, as I can readily
secure jour protect on from all harm In the fu
ture.”
“How will you protect us without putting your
self to an unreasonable amount of trouble ?”
“Raino will be your protector; and my lifefor it,
he will do the work in ihe most faithful and effect
ual manner- By your and Nelly’s permission he
and I will accompany you home this evening, and
to- i.orrow I will learn him to go anil chine with
you every time you travel the road. Thus guarded,
fear no danger. At this season of the year these
wild hogs sometimes collect in great numbers in
the extensive woodland regions of the surroundin_
country, and I have known Raino to encounter
them frequently. For h.m to conquer them is mere
child’s play, and he regards it as a frolic. Ilis im
mense strength, his more than half-reasoning pow
ers, and his great courage, make him more than a
match for anything that he is likely to encounter.
He, and myself too, are at your service.”
“Your generous offer is gratefully accepted; and
I am sure that cousin Nelly and I cun never sufli-
eiently thank you for it.
•Could you know the pleasure I feel while serving
you, I am equally sure you and Nelly would find
that no thanks will ever become due.”
Here Nelly and other pupils came into t he house,
and after some general conversation the duties of
the evening were resumed. Raino and his master
accompanied Coralie and Nelly home that evening;
but nothing unusual occurred.
On the following morning while Mr. Montgomery
and his family were at breakfast, a negro boy, with
eyes almost. tarting from their sockets, came runn
ing into the house, and told Mr Montgomery that a
great black bear was standing at the front gate, anil
that all the pigs, calves, and everything else had
runoff into the woods ! Hany Summeiville im-
rnedi tely seizi d a gun, and sallied forth to give the
monster battle, when lo ! he discovered the dog,
Ranio, looking at him throngh the gate, and wagging
his tail, as if to say, ‘Are the girls read}- ?’ Harry
at once opened the gate, and the faithful creature
accompanied him to the house. Some bread and
meat were offered him, but he refused to eat; for
his master had taught him to take nothing from
the haniis of strangers. However when presented
by Nelly or Coralie, who had been wilh him more
or liss almostevery day since the opening of school,
lie eat without hesitation.
Breakfast being over, the girls and Harry took
their dinner-basket, and went into the front yard.
Raino, casting his large, expressive eyes to their
faces, as if to read their w ishea, placid himself be
side them, and there remained until they entered
: he school house door. Thus several weeks passed,
Harry accompanying them to school, and Julius re
turning with them in the evening. By this time
the matter was almost forgotten, at least so far as to
think the danger over, butene morning while the
faithful ilog was trotting a little in advance of Nelly
and Cora ie, he suddenly stopped, even refusing to
put down the foot already raised, and listened in
every direction. At first the girls thought he was
listening for Harry who, with his gun, had left the
roail to look for squirrels; but soon they heard a
A confused, rushiug sound, and as it came nearer and
(| nearer, they distinctly heard the grunting of hogs.
They met. Deep in t he starry depth
Of August's cloudless sky,
Fair Luna trod her golden path
In matchless majesty;
The cricket chirped the firefly
Pursued his fittul dance;
'Twas in the slumbrous, balmy night
That these two met- by chance.*
They met. She was a tender thing ~
With lustrious shining eye.
And down tl.e garden path she moved
Warbling sweet melody.
He paused to listen. On she sped
Witli foot-falls soft and light,
They met upon that tennis lawn.
That peaceful summer night.
With throbbing pulse anil beating heart,
He spoke in accents low.
Into her glancing eyes there came
A stronger, deeper glow.
Then up the tree she swarmed,
And.there vindictive spat,
Nor these two were my bull-pup and
Afy next door neighbor’s cat.
A man al'ed Iris eat "Plutarch,” because she had
so many lives.
MissConstruetion — Whalebone, paint, powder,
and so 1 orth.
Queer that fisherman almost always carry their
bait in demijohns.
When your wife scolds, be gentle, and say, “My
dear, I love you Mill.”
People who have never done anything, are apt
to think they can do everything.
A little boy defined salt as being the stuff that
made potatoes taste so 1/ad when you didn’t put
any on 'em.
Organ grinders are ordering spring suits for their
monkeys, and hence the unusual activity in tiie
red flannel market.
A. missing girl is thus described: “She is tall,
blonde, and three or four years younger than 3he
looks.” Easy to find her.
“Hang that gate!” jelled old Hickory, as lie
scraped his shins against it in the dark. And after
supper he went out and hung it.
Hood gives a graphic picture of an irritable man,
thus : “He lies like a hedgehog rolled upthe wrong
way, tormenting himself with his prickles.”
What is more deserving of onr sympathy than a
young man with fifteen cents in his pocket, a girl
on each arm, and seven ice cream signs in sight.
William sends to this office asking us to explain
what is a depressed currency. A depressed curren
cy, William, an awful depressed one, is the buttons
found in a church collection box.
“This is literally the last tie that binds me to tiiis
world,” said the fellow, while the rope was being
adjusted about his neck, when he was placed on the
gallows in Western Virginia last week.
Some hotels furnish t .s of fare in French, so
that many guests will call for bread ^ind butter
rather than moke a display of ignorance before an
empty stomach and an illiterate waiter.
Some men never lose t heir presence of mind. In
New York a man threw his mother-.n-law out of a
window in the fifth story of a burning building and
carried a feather bed down stairs in his arms.
a man in Michigan swapped his horse for a wife
An old bachelor acquaintance said he'd .bet there
ment is not only prompt anil effectual, but exceed-
ingly pleasant. Can I have the pleasure of retain
ing the flowers ?”
‘Of course they are } ours. I presume the virtue
in them,” she playfully continued, “is not yet ex
hausted; aud if in our absence you should have all
ot her spell of the blues, you can apply the remedy
yourself. Though when I am gone to my far off
home, cousin Nelly will still be near to treat your
case. ”
“I know that Nelly is very good; but two physi
cians are better than one,” Julius replied with an
effort; for Coralie’s allusion to her far-off home,
wounded him to the heart.
“As you say, cousin Nelly is very : good I believe
every one loves her dearly. There is a kind elderly
lady who often comes to uncle’s house, and tries to
in that direction. Life is not wholly a garden of re
pose for any one to loi er in; but a field of labor excel aunt Ella in loving her. She brings all kinds
and toil, even to tie most fortunate. Therefore I I of knick-knacks aud pretty things; and ‘dear little
am not discouraged. Though the hopes of my | NelL” as the lady always calls her, is sure to get the
heart are laid in the dust—though the flower dies
with its early opi ning, my mind shall be raised to
the skies where hopes never die—\*bere flowers nev
er fade- When you told me of your love for Nelly,
I could not understand your anguish. I see it all
now ! ah ! and feel it, too !”
“Aud so,” exclaimed Joe, after a long silence,
lion’s shar
“What is the kind lady’s name ?”
“Mrs. Penny Lemon”—‘aunt Penny’ we all call
her.”
“O yes; I know her very well ! As far back as I
can remember, she was very good to me, and con
tinues 90 to this day. It is strange that I have never
EcwCe. ege He key E x.'K ted Bats.—George
Romj.the distiii guisLcd uctor, while on a tonr
in tLe prcviLc s,Lad taken lodgirgs in an hum
ble house, simewhat the worse for wear. Soon
after retiriig he was awakened by a fluttering
noise, as of a bird around the curtain of his bed.
He sprang up, struck a light, and saw a dark
little creature with wings fluttering abont the
room. Not beirg well acquainted with natural
history, he did not recegu/ze it as a bat, bat de
termined to catch it, if po: Bible, and examine it
carefully in the momiDg.
Taking up a felt hat, he began the hunt, and
tried to capture the intruder for a long time in
vain, but at last Le pounced upon it, took it
from under the bat, shut it np in a drawer, list
ened toita slrngglts to escape—wanted to be
snre that he had really caught it, and went to
bed dreaming of flying dragons. But he was
not destined to sleep long. Hardly had he dez-
ed iff when a farther flattering awakened him,
lighting another match he found another bat.
After this one he had another hunt, caught it,
put it in the drawer with its brother, and again
went to bed. Again, however, he was awaken
ed in a similar manner; bats came not in sin
gle spies, bat—if the expression be pardonable
—in -battalions.’
Mr. Honey hunted diligently, making quite a
colicotion oi specimens, and put them all with
great care into the drawer. Heated with the
chase, he then opened the window, and, tired
ont, at last enjoyed a few minutes’ sleep. Wak
ing wi'h the morning light, he jumped out of
bed and opened the drawer very cauciously to
lock lor h;s bats; but lo and behold, there were
Ho bats there. He opened the drawer wide,and
then discovered that it Lad no back to it. He
bad, in tact, been passing the whole night in
catching the same bat, which had flown out at
the back cf the drawer as soon as he had put it
in at the front, and when the window was open
ed had finally escaped.
-Ac
it. a wav in t-txai
^w^rs^^the^^r a^on^apdtook- | was somet hin g wrW with his horse, or its owner
betvfSiri* ti, iif .1?-1.-Vlow
upon the ground, awaited the result ivicuout mov
ing a muscle. He did not have to wait long. Soon
a great w hite and spotted hog, followed by another
another, wilh bristles erect and advancing sideways,
halted near the roadside at first sight of the dog.
Quick as thought, Raino sprang upon the one. and
with a dextrous movement that he well understood,
tore open iis throat so effectually that it died upon
the spot. Harry, hearing the noise of the battle,
ran to the rescue; but another anil another of the
assailants met with death in such quick succession
that he (lid not arrive until after the hogs were en
tirely routed, and six of their number left on the
field ! It is higl ly probable that at least a part of
this herd had, on some former occasion, come in
contact w ith this fearful enemy, and know ing his
prowess, fled upon first / ight of Lis furious onslaught.
Harry found that Nelly and his lister Lad been but
little alarmed; for, in addition to their naturally
firm nerves, their confidence in the ability and will
of the dog to protect them, was unlimited.
The account of this affair, as given by Nelly and
Coralie upon their arrival at school, had a peculiar
efftctupon their tiacher. He trembled when he
thought of their danger; yet it was pleasure to know
that through his almost idolized dog, he had been
able to do something for them. Knowing the fear
ful cuts somttimes made by the long tusks of these
w ild hogs, he examined Raino as would a faithful
physician his patient, and to his great joy found
that he had received no seiious injury. Patting
him w ith one hand, while the dog was licking the
other,i.e said in a measured tone—“My nolle fellow,
death only can part us.”
(To be Continued.)
A little boy ctme to his mother recently and
said: Miaua, I should think that if I was
m fide oi dust, I would get muddy inside when
I drink.'
Miff A. Y P*fit, fcutlor of ‘Hew to Read,’is
topping in WisLiigUn, siudyirg law under
the direction of Mis. Lockwood, and corres
ponding wilh stveral newspapers.
manner. ’|l
There Is said to be a man in Worcester who has
lived so long upon corn bread that his voice lias
become husky, his hair lias turned to silk like that
which grows on the grain, and his toes are covered
with corns.
That was a clever Oakland boy who, when he ivas
given two dollars to dig up his aunt's garden, hid a
two-bit piece in it, and then told all the boys in tbe
neighborhood. The next morning the ground was
pulverized two feet deep.
There is nothing which so much inclines the
Nortli American Eagle to stand upon one leg anti
scratch his bald head as to watch a country editor,
rising in his power of place and heading g violent
editorial on things in general, “Are we a nation'.-’’
An Indian skeleton and a brass kettle have been
unearthed near Elkhart, Ind., and the Scientific
American says: “The brass kettle is worth several
circus admissions, or it may be utilized in connec
tion with a dog but we can't imagin-. what theskel-
eton is good for.”
In a suberban school, where an examination was
conducted on the basis of general intelligence rath
er than book learning, the question was asked how
was Prince Bismarck best known, when the ubiq
uitous “small boy” vehemently declared, “For
keeping a big black dog.”
The tramp's last dodge is to ask your advice
about going to the next town, and when you warm
ly advise him to go he says lie has much confidence
in your good judgement and wiilemmigrate further
on at once. "But,” lie adds, “wouldn’t you advise
me to borrow ten cents before I start?”
Teacher—“What bird did Noah send out of the-
ark ?” Smallest boy in the class, after a pause—“A
dove sir,” Teacher— ''Very well, hut I should have
thought some of you big boys would have known
that.” Tall pupil—‘ Please, sir, that boy ought to
know, sir, 'cause liis father's a bird-ketcher, sir.”
A bright iittle boy of four, the son of a pastor of a
flourishing chui eh, who attended the infant class
in Sunday school, received last Sunday morning a
card on which were these words: "Pray without
ceasing.” After his mother had explained the text,
he said: “I guess I won't show this to the minis
ter; he prays long enough now.”
“William,” said one Quaker to another, “thee
knows I never call anybody names; but, William,
if the lord mayor were to come to me and say :
•Joshua, I want thee to find me the biggest liar rn
all London,’ I w> ulil come to thee, and put my
hand on tliy shoulder, and say to thee: ‘William j
the lord mayor wants to see thee.’ ”
A stump preacher, describing the latter days (
gays:—“Then my hearers, the axle of the globe will
have become so rusty that the earth will stop turn
ing like the old weathercock on yonder barn. You
will be obliged to grease the winds to make them
glide over the eaith, aud the lightnings of heaven
will not be able to descend without the assistance
of a ladder.
Abernethy, the celebrated surgeon, finding a large
pile of paving-stones opposite his door, swore hast
ily at the pavior, aud desired him to remove them
> ‘Where will I take tbtm to?” asked the Hibernian
“To hell,” cried the eholeric surgeon. Paddy, look
ing up in his face with an arch grin, said, “Hadn’t
I better take them to heaven ? sure, they’d be more
out yer honor’s way.”
The way to put it: Father of adored one—“Then
it comes to this, sir! you have no fortune, you have
lost your appointment, you have no prospect of
getting another, and you come to ask my daughter s
hand and fortune.” “No! Suppose we put it this
way—lam unembarrassed by wealth, aud free from
the cares of business, and my future is irradicated
by hope; tlierafore, this is the crisis when I can
best devote mj self to your daughter, and enjoy
that affluence with which you will crown onr
love.’