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V
E SUKHY SOITTH
JOY, USMWHJOMT, I'.VKOH'.V.
b
I chose the fairest nook of garden soil,
And covered warm within its natal bed
The seed, wherefrom, with dew and sunlight fed
I hoped should rise the offspring of my toil,
My promised flower, my golden cinquefoil!
But when the soft green leaflets upward spread,
The shoot that should have borne the qceenly head
Shrank, nipped and brown, the frost’s untimely
spoil.
Child-like I wept, and made my passionate moan.
Till morn came trembling through the tearful night.
And lo! a peerless lily rosy-white,
A flower of God by some bird-angel sown
Beside my perished dream of joy had grown,
To give for hope foregone unhoped delight,
^ ears afterwards, a woman-g.own I nursed
A love I thought would burst to glorious bloom;
And richest fruit—I saw the lair plant burst.
And watched its budding, dreaming not of doom
Dreaming not of the cold frost of neglect.
The biting breath of scorn, the night of gloom
That settled on me, when my hopes were wrecked
And I cried wildly, ‘‘life no more shall bloom,”
But when that night of dark dispair had flown
And resignation dawned with feeble ray
I looked and lo a love unsought, unsown
Pure, like a lilly, blossomed in my way.
THE MOTHER-IN-LAW,
BY AMELIA V. PURDY.
“FORTY YEARS AGO.”
DRIFTING SANDS FROM THE MOUN
TAINS AND FOOT-HILLS OF
NORTHEAST GEORGIA.
A Brilliant Bomnnce Based tip on Facta.
BY G. J. N. WILSON.
CHAPTER XXII.
Yes, it was Mrs. Lemon's isolated cabin in the
midst of the woods that held the mystery which
had baffled Calvsda and the other less experi
enced woodsmen. Simple enongh looked that
rough strnctnre, brown and mossy with age,
covered with wild vines and with cedar and
other trees and shrubbery growing close around
its outer walls. This helped to break the out
line and prevent the keenest eye from perceiv
ing that there was a discrepancy between the
size of the honse as viewed without, and the di
mensions of the room when seen within. Yet,
snch a discrepancy existed. The honse had been
built in old Indian days for protection from the
savages, and the secret of it was known to bat
one man. To him it had been transmitted by
those who were now dead.
The honse had a double wall. Between the
two walls there was sufficient space for a person
to stand or walk comfortably, and also tc admit
of a stone stair case that led down into an un
derground room, excavated under the honse,
which it will be remembered had a low founda
tion, composed of rocks, rndely, bnt secureiv
cemented together, and overgrown with moss
and lichens.
On the night before Nelly was stolen, Casper,
the deformed giant, had shown this secret of
the house to Mrs. Lemon and to the sister and
brother, whom we have heard called Theodore
and Annette. Tbongh Mrs. Lemon had taken
this honse at CaBper's suggestion, and though
she knew that it contained a secret, she was not
aware what that secret was. She and the others
stood now ennous to see it revealed. The
strange man first bade them look at the walls
and see if they noticed anything remarkable.
There was nothing except, apparently for the
purpose of strengthening the walls, thick, broad
planks had been placed at vegwlar intaiTal. of
three feet apart all aronnd the walls from floor
to ceiling. These slats were fastened to the
walls by iron spikes, and the logs being very
large, carefully hewn and dovetailed into each
other, gave the appearance of immense strength
and durability.
Going first to the only door and looking cau
tiously about lest some one might be approach
ing, Casper carefully counted the slats on the
east side of the building and stopping at the
middle one, applied a pair of pincers to what
looked like the iron spikes bnt proved to he
large screws that held this middle plank in
place, both at top and bottom. When be had
taken off the slat, his companions were sur
prised to see a narrow door through which he
invited him to step into the narrow passage be
tween the walls, and then down the staircase
into the cellar or subterranean apartment that
was beneath.
It was a room of comfortable size, aired
by a number of small flues, that were so con
trived as to come ont at unsuspected parts of
the building. A folding bed of iron, and a
small iron table were the only articles of furni
ture, bnt a small roll of carpeting had been
brought for the stone floor, in Mrs. Lemon's
carry-all, in which she and her three friends
bad arrived the night before. There were also
chairs and other conveniences above, that
wonld be bronght down daring the day, after
the room bad been swept and cleaned of mould
and damp, and the iron bedstead, that had
stood there so long, wonld be furnished with a
soft matti ess and delicate bed clothing. Pro
visions, too, wonld be bronght down both
oooked and uncooked, ‘sufficient for a week's
seige.’said the giant, with one of bis quiet
smiles; also water and fruit, for, during a few
days they must keep close. All of them must
stay below in the seoret room, or in the secret
passage during the day, and at night they
must venture to come up or out with the ut
most caution, being oarefnl to efface their tracks.
At the least alarm they must betake themselves
to the secret passage, the door of which could
be put in place from within as well as from
without.
Having made all arrangements and given all
directions, the giant waited until nightfall, and
then shouldering a great sack containing at
least three bushels of shelled corn, be proceeded
to the thick woods that lay back of Mr. Mont
gomery’s house and strewed the oorn along a
space half a mile in length, and twenty feet
broad, in the direction he intended to bring
Nelly. He had the night before baited this
place with oorn, in order to make the hogs seek
it again, and efface with their uprooting noses
the tracks of the party. Leaving Theodore and
Annette here, Gasper went on till he reached a
worm fence that led np to the garden fence of
Mr. Montgomery's house. He walked upon
this, putting his feet between the rails until he
reached the garden fence, which was of boards.
Walkeng along this in the same manner, finding
foot hold between the planks, he came up to
the hor.se, which be found quiet and dark with
the exception of a single light in Mrs. Mont
gomery's room. He crept round to the back
part of the honse, stepped upon the vine-shaded
end of the piazza, and with steps as noiseless
as a panther’s, approached ibe door of Nelly’s
room. He knelt down to examine the door and
finding that a small space was between if ant;
stirred and seemed on the point of waking, he
collected his faculties again and pressing his
lips together, he unoorked a small bottle te
took from bis pocket, and pouring some of its
transparent oontents upon a handkerchief, he
applied it to the fair sleeper's nostrils. A slight
struggle and the work was done—Nelly Mont- We take up onr p«n to rescue our latter day
gomery was passive in the bands of her captor. ! gt. Stephen, and before we lay it aside, we hope
. Hastily placing the fallen key just tar enongh | to convince a few at least -the just and the gen-
in the lock to prevent it from being misplaced ; erons, that she is more sinned against than
by the outer one. the seemingly heartless man j H j nD j nK . a sprite at our elbow laughs aud de-
tcok his unconscious victim in his arms, and j ties ns to convince her alheit her tuartydom has
locking the door behind him he hastened to j been sufficiently great to entitle her to the star-
join his companions in the dark and sombre
woods where he had left them.
Just before reaching hts comrades. Gasper
threw one of Nelly's shoes down for the purpose
of erasing delay in oase of pursuit, as well as for
other purposes which the sequel will develop.
When once within the dark shadows of the for
est, be was met by Theodore and Annette, who,
after a long, tender look at the unconscious girl
seated themselves upon an old log pointed out
by their leader, and, to canse farther delay,they
here threw down Nelly’s bonnet and aproo.
Theodore ascended a tree and listened in all di
rections. No sound however, broke the dreary
silence of the forest.
‘Now, Annette,' said Gasper in a low tone ‘it
devolves upon you to play s part in the drama
of the night. So far, we have been successful;
but Raino and the keen sighted Indian are yet
to be overcome. First pull off your shoes and
pnt on the one Nelly now wears. Then take
this ball of thread and go &s straight as yon can
in a southern direction. I will tie the thread to
this bush—unwind the ball as you go, and every
fifteen or twenty steps fasten the thread to any
thing suitable. When the ball is thus used,
take the string for your guide, and carefully re
trace your steps. Be very particular and by
winding it into a ball again, bring every parti
cle of the thread back with you. I tc-day se
lected this log for a particular purpose. It con
tains a property which totally estroys the sense
of smell in all carnivorous animals, and to in
duce any dog which may follow us to give it a
fair trial, I will sprinkle it with pure bear's oil,
a substance so enticing to the canine race that
most dogs will snfier death rather than give up
their desire to taste it. For this oil Joe Harper's
dogs followed me this morning beyond the
reach of their powerful master, where they
will remain forever. I did not like to kill them.
But in this instance, everything that chances
to be in my way must either bend or break, i
do not consider it necessary to break Baino or
the Indian; but they must be bent. By the meas
ures taken the lormer will lose all power to fol
low onr tracks; and as the latter will think
yours were made by Nelly, he will naturally
prefer to follow them under the impression that
she has made her eseape However , when he
reaches the place where you begin tc retrace
your steps, he will return also. The shoeless
track will be seen no more! Your brother will
bear you away in bis arms, and I will carry Nel
ly. Our own trail will be destroyed by the hogs
that are now rooting for the corn I scattered an
hour ago. •
it has already been seen how nicely the wily
Casper had made his calculations, and that An-
nettie only failed to carry ont her instructions
by leaving a part of the tell-tale thread behind
her.
When she had performed her part, and Gas
per had lightly sprinkled his potent oil upon
the 1 jg, be and Theodore bore away their fair
burdens in their arms.
Thus the disappearance of Annette and Nelly
was the same as if they had taken wings and
flown away through the air.
They soon gained their stronghold beneath
the old honse, and Nelly was placed upon the
nice white covered mattress that was now ar
ranged upOn tne ioiaiug iron cot.. Ituey siouu
looking at her innocent face and parted lips and
tears filled every eye. Theodore kneeled down
and touched her white cheek with his lips.
‘I’ll kiss her for those whom she innocently
thinks are her father and mother aBd brother!*
‘It is enongh, my boy,’ said Gasper in a low
whisper. ‘The beautiful flower is now ours, and
she is ours to love and protect, even to the bit
ter end. ‘
Mrs. Lemon sat watching the unconscious girl
through her tears, and Annette kneeling by ner
held her hand. Presently with her eyes stiil
fixed upon Nelly, Bhe said in low tones:
‘And so onr long lost darling, we have found
yon at last. From infancy yon have been in the
hands of strangers; and heaven will bless them
for their kindness to yon. It is a cruel necessity
that tears yon from them. O, that yon knew in
to whose hands you have fallen, and what is
really yonr birthright. Pure and beautiful as
you are, you know nothing of the noble blood
that flows in yonr veins, nor of the power once
weilded by your father. You know nothing of
your mighty friends, nor of yonr powerful ene
mies who are now threading the avenues of
earth to stain their polluted hands in yonr
blood. Bnt it will not always be so. Yonr sep
aration from those you love will seem bitter,
bnt when yon awake io the beams of a brilliant
destiny, you will then know that we who have
brought this separation npon you are your true
friends.’
As she sadly uttered these last words Nelly
began to show signs of returning consciousness.
In his earlier years Gasper had been a skillful
physician and was well prepared for any emer
gency. Bidding him bathe her faoe and An
nette assumes her female attire, and she and
Mrs. Lemon be as cheerful as possible, he drew
Theodore away and the two went above to look
out for danger.
Nelly opened her eyes and vacantly stared
around the room. The first thing she recognized
was the familiar face of Mre. Lemon who bad
purposely placed herself by the soft couch on
which the fair captive had been placed.
‘Why, aunt Fenny,’ exclaimed the wondering
Nelly, who thought herself still in her father's
honse, 'how came yon here? I thought yon
were gone on a long journey.’
‘I have met with son e of yonr friends, whom
I am sure you will love very much. I have le
an d she left, but she's not a grand type of wo
man. She writes every week to Jennie urging
her to demand servant's wages for the servant's
work she does: $10 for cooking, $6 for honse-
| work, and $6 for child nurse; and she puts all
sorts of mischief into Jennie's head. If she was
let alone she wouldn't know she was imposed
upon; nine women out of ten don't see it.'
The sphere rises from its chair and mops its
roseate, noble face. Tam glad I never married
bnt if I had I wonld never be degraded enough
to eat the pie and give my wife the plate to eat.’
•Let me t-H yon what I know about mothers
aud *Jumot\
pointed crown of the Saint, and says; ‘who has I iu-law,' said No. 4 'I love my wife’s mother
never had a champion deservts no champion. - dearly, and she loves me.’ As he turns his faoe
We are ex->ected to be extinguished, bnt it is ! toward tts we see truth stamped in every linea-
rathor difficult to blow us oot, feeble though ! meut. He is fine looking, as well as handsome
onr light uiay be, so we reply to the animated ; bnt there is a fire in the iron-grey eyes tnai
antomaton whose brilliance has done no mate- i would bode ill 'or the man canght in a petty
rial damage so fa?—that a unity composed of | act. ‘I married ten years ago; I needed no
preacher, teacher and editor, think for the con
tinent. Had they pleased to deify her, men
and women would throw flowers where they
dow throw stones. Whatever this trinity en
dorses vox populi falls down and worships—
whatever it denounces, the dear people, who
long ago, have forgotten how to reason or ana
lyze. turn out with frenzied zeal to hiss and
stone. It has even got to such a pass that a
man who simply nses the mind, the great God
has given him, to work out laboriously and con
scientiously the great problems of life, or that
makes himself felt individually in the world is
called a man of genius. You never think, from
one week's end to another, and follow the crowd,
—the more shame for von who are capable of
thought. She cries, ‘Jfeaculpu, mea culpa,' and
withdraws her forces aud begs for the story,
and presto the curtain rises. Scene, a city side
walk ; dramatis person a, three merchants bard
at work to support their families—chairs a-tilt
under the awnings, cuffs unbuttoned. The
national necessity—the dainty spittoon, com
prehending the gutter aud pavement, and now
and then a passing dress There is a fourth
party, an old bachelor with a humanitarian face
—otherwise a sphere roiling aronnd on No 7
gaiters. As the July sun rises graedly in his
molten car, flooding the earth with fire, pedes
trians grow fewer and fewer. There is a face
with a history—another whose face is as in
scrutable as the problem of consciousness.
When there are a dearth of passers-by for chairs
a-tilt to critioise, the chairs generally discuss
the beautiful and the true, but to-day the sun
is blistering the heights, and so the chairs afore
said descend to the cool, green levels of the
common-place, and the subject is the mother-
in-law. Says a long brown duster, surmounted
by a homeopathic globule, ‘Well, gentlemen,
cork or drudge. I was not well to do, but I had
health and strength, and could make a respect
able living. I went into a quiet, orderly borne.
“And phat doas yez ax for the caliker?” “six
cents, ma am.*’ “Saxetccn ? oile give yez fifteen.”
"You misunderstand me, ma'am. I said six cents.”
“Och, thin, Oile give yez foi ve chits.”
There was an old Yankee named Weston,
Who pi yed «urious tricks all the rest on’.
He went for that belt
Against Saxo - and Celt.
And now they all say he's the best 'nn.
Do not despise small beginnings. Many a boy
starts out in the world as a friendless orphan with
only one pair of pants, and ultimately reaches the
exalted position of a seaside hotel clerk, and wears a
a fifty-cent diamond breastpin.
“Had dime my way,” quoth saucy Ann. the ban
ker s wealthy daughter, “I'd surely not keep penny
man in pain that soutl for f/f/cirfer.” “Oh, Ann f ”
cried gentle Kitty Clyde, “if any man should toiler
I wanted a superior woman; I went among j and a ^ k metX o^ his bride i think™
finnprinf OAnnhi unit fonnrl Knu Tf urao a oLria. ... UI1UC * 1 ^ 111 UK 11 U
superior people and found her. It was a Chris
tian household in the loftiest Bense. It was
filled with love and refinemet to its eves. There
was no foul dram drinkers or bar-room fre
quenters in its vicinity; there was no necessity
tor duplicity, trickery, treachery and falsehoods
—the people were white tboughted. I asked
for what? I asked her parents to give np to me
their child, eighteen long years their solicitude
and idolatry; I who only knew them a little
year. Why men, instead of being appalled at the
magnitndeof the gift tLey are asking, ask for
onr daughter as they would a book or flower. I
got it.' and his eyes flooded over with the fierce
fire of contempt he felt for Morton and his col
league, ‘and any man who marries any giri,
gentle or simple, to cheat and dupe and de
fraud her is worse than the ruffian who burglar
izes and assassinates. Every man is hound in
honor to take good care of his wife—to make
her life as bright as he possibly can. His selfish
indulgences will, if dispensed with, keep her a
servant, or if she is able and willing to work, it
will purchase articles of furniture, increase
home comforts; the idea of spitting away $96
every year! only a simpleton will do it. As re
gards the mothers-in-law, often times the very
life she led herself, of neglect, indifference, in
justice and inhumanity makes it intolerable
when she sees her daughter staggering under
the same dreary lot. The man who does his
dntv as a man, who is a man, not a talking
brute, has no stereotyped motber-in-law, and
for the others, were her denunciations as scath
ing as vitriol they won d not be half severe
enough upon the profane, coarse, immoral
for the sake of domestic peace in thiB land, the j dram-drinkers who are daily entering respect-
government ought to take the mother-in-law | abie households and destroying our daughters. *
question in hand. It's worse than the army
worm—the yellow fever is nothing to it. If they
could be pnt off on reservations, or sent as
nuisances to the Zulus I would be rejoiced.
There’s that bill to improve the Mississippi. Is
that as important as a bill to assassinate, or ex
patriate, or devastate, or demolish, or abolish
mothers-in-law ? No, sir. Three years ago I
went to Philadelphia for goods, I met Kitty and
fell in love with her. In due course of time I
asked her mother's consent. She refused it
point-blank. Kitty was truthfui, honorable,
pnre. She should marry her equal. Some peo
ple have an instinctive knowledge of man—that
woman had it, and the iittle while I was com
pelled to remain there I lived in constant ter
ror lest she should have a clairvoyant trance
and tell what I want to keep to myself. She
aged ten years in the three months of our en
gagement, and yet oddly enough she did not
interpose one obstacle to our marriage. We
came home and went to housekeeping. You
know my business usually keaia- pne out till,
near aay iary gooab;.>
teriously at Morton, a novelty dealer, one yard
nose, who was so overcome by the humor of the
remark that he came near depositing himself in
the gutter, and did not get over his mirth till
hiccough set in. Morton’s intense appreciation
was gracefully received by Hilton, in a conde
scending smile, after which he resumed. ‘Kitty
sits up for me often, and if it is cold she will
have a steaming enp of coffee for me, and she
is so sorry I have to work so hard at night.
Sometimes I am afflicted with loss of memory,
and then the boys take care of me and I go
home all O K for breakfast. * Morton goes off
into another paroxysm of appreciation and
nearly swallows his quid ; the other two look
grave and disgusted.’ -Now does that injure
her? Wouldn't that man or woman deserve
hanging that wonld dash all the snnshine out
of her life by telling her I was playing billiards
in a bar-room ? Why the sweetest roses of life
are its illusions. When we can be no more iliu-
sionized we are virtually dead. I can tell her
anything in God's world aDd she will believe
it. Isn't faith like that a sublime thing? Now,
here's my sword of Damacles. I am afraid her
mother will enlighten her. She has said she
never would, but pshaw, I don't believe in
anybody or anything. The second year of onr
marriage Kitty wrote to her mother to make us
a visit. My soul died within me, bnt there was
no help for it, and she came. Every lie I told
Kitty she scored one for me; she knew I was
humbugging Kitty before she was twenty-fonr
hoars in the honse. I detest a smart woman —
when a woman has a mind above dress-patterns
and spring openings, they ought to be sent to
Liberia.
One miserable night I went home with an im
pediment in my speech, only temporary, too;
bnt, Lord, Mrs. Grayson was the only one I
could wako. She let me in. I was so soared
when her big, keen hazel eyes flashed on me, as
as Bhe opened the door, that my hair nearly
turned white. She pointed to the parlor bed
room and said, ‘It will give you no trouble to
account to Kitty why you slept there, ‘ and I
meekly wiggled there. Next day she asked an
interview. ‘While my daughter loves you,* she
Baid, after a phillipic that wonld have immor
talized her if delivered in public, ‘I would scorn
to find fault with you. Not for the tee simple
of the world would I show you up for the Mo-
mained to introduce them; and I hope the meet- ( kannayou are. No, not if I lost my soul by not
telling it. I love her too well to destroy her hap
piness, and I trust that you may grow in craft
and chicanery and duplicity, so that she may be
deceived through the term of her days. This
is a fond mother's wish. She was all I had—a
widow's only child, hut it will not be. The
vast superstructure of lies and deceit you have
erected will crumble and fall. Some day she
will learn the truth - never fear me, and man. I
could find it in my heart to pity you the day
she finds you out. ‘
Of course I was speechless, and felt smaller
than achigger. She left that, day, and a year
has elapsed. Kitty reads mo her letters, and
I'd rather hear a prayer ton miles leng, but I
grin and bear it, and so far Kitty ;s all soibce,
hut isn't it nboniinabie a fallow has to take at!
that from a mother-in-law V'
'Well,' says Morton, inflating himself tc his
utmost. T j !Bt coolly pr.i my mother-in-law out.
ing will be as pleasant as it is unexpected.’
‘What friends, Aunt Penny, and where are
they?’ anxiously asked Nelly?'
Mrs. Lemon then took Annette by the hand,
and led her to the bed saying:
‘Here is one of them—your own sweet cousin,
Annettie Fenton.’
‘My cousin! I did not know I had such a
consin in all the world. Am I dreaming or is
this all a realpy?'
‘Dear little Nelly, it is all a reality,’ said
Aunt Penny as the girls embraced each other.
‘Annettie is not only your real consin, bnt, like
yourself, she is as good and pure as she is
lovely.'
‘My dear cousin,’ said Nelly to Annettie, you
are more than welcome. I hope you will stay
with us a long time. I have another cousin,
Coralie Summerville, who will be here in a few
days, and vrfcst delightful times wo will have! j
the floor, he pushed through it a soft silk band- b y .
kerchief at a place where a key would fail Icom , c - ^
the inf-idc. He then' insert, d in the locx the I j r j eD( j C!1
♦ • i ? v. _ ... T '.m/m n lif.
Where do you live,
epme with yon to the
fdn Annettio, and w ho y,'hv, I couuin't take a buggy ride of a Sunday
iid mountains of Geor-
key given him by Sire. Lemon, who had ccr.-
triv«d lo secure it during her late visit to the
Montgomery's, and as he gradually forced it in,
tiie key ir> thu inside fell out and lay npon the
handkerchief on the floor. Then the key in
bis hand was softly turned, and the intruder
entered, stood for a moment gazing at the
sleeping girl his strong features working with
emotion and a tear at laet forcing itself from
ur.di r his heavy lid. But in a moment as she
brother and a very particular family
came with me, and 1 will have the pleas-
pleasnre of introducing them to you in the
morning,* answered Annettie with such mani
fest emotion, that Nelly looked at Mis. Lemon
as if to enquire the canse.
That lady had changed her position, and
when turning to look for her, Nelly discovered
that the room looked sirange, and utterly unlike
anything she had ever seen before.
(To be Continued.)
His manly face reddens and there is an omin
ous gleam in the eyes keen as the cry of agony,
'and if ever one of this sort ever marries my
dauguter fca’il have something to complain
about bezides a heart-broken mother-in-law. ’
The oid bachelor rises and gives an asthmetic
cheer, ‘You'r heart's level, Cecil. It always
struck me that womanhood was an awful afflic
tion, and that it was man's bounden duty to
take every stone ont of her path. Why the mere
fact of her being so utterly in bis power to
abuse or kill, ought to make him watch night
and day that he did not abuse that power. But
how is it? A man will hardly snub his neigh
bor’s wife, though he has an aversion for her, but
he delights in getting off sarcasms at his wife's
expense, and answering her impolitely when
she asks the simplest question. He's expected
to snub her, and to leave courtship deference
and devotion at the church door, aud he roy
ally fulfills expectations. He shuis her squarely
out of the sunshine in the dingy four wails of a
house, a perfect Bastile to half the drudges in the
J or»/* evoom nf 1 vfa and
drinks iced champagne under the cool trees. If
he haB a hat full of groceries or dry goods, he
must have a clerk. She requires no servant
though in delicate health and with a house full
of children. A man who does his whole duty
cannot do too much. In it there is no work of
supererogation. I have boarded in families for
thirty years and no man has done his entire du
ty by bis wife or family in my experience. A
good many could not—the majority bad no dis
position to do it. There was a modicum of enjoy
ment in the means earned for one, he earned
the money, he had the best right to the enjoy
ment and he took it
Ten years after marriage most women love
their children better than their husbands—why
the average man should be loyed at all, is a mys
tery I can’t fathom. He is selfishness personi
fied, and he takes his wife's labor as a matter of
course, where he does not insist upon it. Mar
riage is not compulsory. If he is all for selfish
gratification he has no business to marry. Un
less he is willing to change bis mode of thought
and actions and to make every personal sacri
fice let him stay single. Two unselfish persons
united in wediock make an Eden. One selfish
partner gives us the average ‘Home sweet Home,’
and from nine ont of ten of the so called homes
in our land. May the good Lord deliver me!'
He goes into his grocery to wait on a child, and
there is dead silence. Hilton, the first speaker
makes a grimace at Morton, his ‘bird of a feath
er,’ accompanied by a whole encyclopedia of
winks, and they dart in behind the green blinds
of a bar room—the green goggles of Satan—and
call for drinkB. Says Morton, regarding his
liquor with eyes beaming with love: ‘Cecil was
rough on us, wasn’t he ?’ Hilton sips his fire
with intense zest and laughs. ‘Pshaw, that sort
of men were common in the age of obivalry.
He's mad over woman’s wrongs. I don’t mind
them,’ with superb disdain as the fire he is
drinking ascends to his brain. ‘As for that old
fool of a Whitney, his girl died a few days be
fore the wedding day and he has goddessized
every woman ever sinoe. Neither have ae much
Bense as you oouid put on the point of a oam-
brie needle—they are beneath our notice. Who’d
marry I'd like to know, if they had to be in a
straight jacket the rest of their days—every
pleasure and reoreation and indulgence given
up. I felt pretty mad while Cecil was talking,
but I wouldn’t have a difficulty with any man
with his eyes, but,’ with a gleeful chuokle, ‘I
pity any man who ever marries his daughter
unless he's a canonized saint, for a mother-in-
law wonld be as tender as a turtle dove to Cecil,
if be fonnd him looking Bideways at her. Let’s
have another drink.'
A Connecticut poetess addresses a “Triolet” to a
New York paragraphist. She asks: “What will you
have forsooth-temples, birds, or violets—a song of
love and truth?” We regret to destroy the imagery
of the triolet, but the chances are that he would pre
fer gin and sugar.
When the thermometer marks twenty degrees in
the shade in Greenland, the Greenlanders go around
mopping the perspiration off their brows and ask
ing one another : "Is it. hot enough for you?” And
they wisli a thunder-storm would come up and
cool off the atmosphere.
A circular advocating a summer resort calls at
tention to “numerous cosy seats in forked trees
and elsewhere- some of them just large enough for
two persons.” We defy the production of an at
traction that can go ahead of that. We shall pass
the major part of the summer there.
“What a horrible, base bawl!” the frog shouted,
from the shade of his lily-leaf in the pond, to the
big red cow who was trying to sing “The Last Rose
of summer” outlie bank ot the pond. “What an
awful croquet!” sighed the cow, contemplatively
turning her quid while she looked around for some
boy to chase across the meadow.
The gay and festive soda fount
Now sizzle in the land.
And Deacon and good Mrs. Jones
Around the counter stand.
The lady’s gentle nectarine
Within the glass is fizzin’;
The deacon slyly winks and says
He'll take the same in his’n.
Sedalia, Missouri, is uelighted over a mule colt
with five legs. By St. George.! this thing has got to
stop right here. A five-legged mule when he grows
up will be worse than an eight-barreled revolver; a
sort of a GatliDggun among mules. Just think o
the havoc that may be wrought by a mule that has
four legs to amble along and one untrammeled
leg to circulate around and attend strictly to busi
ness on both sides of the road? Let the colt be shot
while it is yet possible to get near enough to it to
shoot it in safety.
A sad event has occurred in the family of aster
oids. Hilda is lost. One of the nearly two hundred
members of the planetary sisterhood revolving be
tween Mars and Jupiter can no longer be fonnd in
her accustomed celestial haunts, it is not known
whether Hilda has eloped with her lather’s coach
man, or has ru” away ana joined a traveling Pina,
fore troupe. We have predicted time and again that
if Hilda's parents didn’t keep a close eye npon her
she would give them trouble. Beluga revolver,it
is not strange that she has “gone off.”
TT “' : "' ‘ f sir i Vim tiikf me lo r
one who can be bribed? You insult my sense of
honor. But in case I really was such a man, how
much would you give?”
A Massachusetts lady is reported to have scolded
her little boy for taking a drink of water at a hotel.
“For,” said she, “we pay a dollar for our dinner, and
water is very filling.”
The other day the lightning struch a powder mag
azine near Brighton, III., containing 51,000 pounds
of powder. You can just, imagine how astonished
the lightning was the next, second!
“Is Charley a very good boy?” said the new min
ister, as he stroked the golden locks of a bright ten*
year-old boy. “Oh, yes !” said the fond lather, pat
ronizingly, “he’s very good, indeed. I know he will
grow up to be a credit to his father.” “K’rect, eld
man. You’re a solid Muldoon,” said the boy. “I
was afraid yer would give me dead away!”
“I am glad,” said an illiterate preacher, “that the
Lord has opened my mouth to speak.” “And well
you may be,” was the rejoinder, “for he never did
such a thing but once before,” “And when was
that?” asked the preacher. “In Balaams’time,”
was the conclusive answer.
An Oil City boy who had run away from home
and returned, was asked if his lather had killed the
fatted calf for the prodigal. “Not much,” here-
plied ; “he didn't kill the fatted calf, but he came
darned near fetching the prodigal.”
An old hat belonging to Napoleon I„ was recently
advertised for sale in Paris. We shouldn’t think it
would bring much, as both the Nap and the crown
are gone.
A teacher defined conscience ae ‘‘something with
in you that tells you when you have done wrong.”
“I had it once,” spoke up a young tow-head of six
summers, “but they had to send for the doctor.”
What does Kearney’s threat to burn General
Grant in effigy amount to? The word itself gives
answer—“F-I-G.”
The friends of W. J. Berlin, who died last
Monday, in Memphis, of yellow fever, did a
very generous thing. He had a policy on his
life for $10,000, and one of the notes came due
on the dry of his death. He was perfectly con-
scions and was very anxious about this note.
He did not have the amount by him to pay it
and could not raise it. He stated the circum
stance to those of his friends who were at hts heads of “dea
bedside, and they immediately advanced the I prepared forthem.
money to pay tua nolo. He died with the \
knowledge that hie family, consisting oi a wife I
and three children, were provided for, and that |
knowledge afforded him great satisfaction in hie
last mcmentB. Mr. Berlin was a prominent ,
real estate dealer and an old citizen of Meorpins. |
He had a bad case of fever in 1878, and couse- |
Savannah News: It is really alarmlng.how bru
tally the poor African is treated in the South. Only
the other day we mentioned how a larmer, near
Hublin, had given a tremendous barbecue to his
field hands, and made them eat until they couldn't
eat any more, and now the Columbus Times reports
how Mr. Thomas DeWolf, of Chattahoochee county,
on Saturday last got up a similar entertainment for
his farm hands. He carried things to a most culpa
ble extreme. He had killed a whole bullock and
sundry hogs, and when the whole neighborhood
was filled with his dusky victims he set them to
work eating and kept them at it for hours, actually
making them sing old plantation melodies during
the whole time. And then, not satisfied with this
alter they had finished their repast, he caused them
to adjourn to a neighboring barn and dance until
they were forced to go to bed and sleep soundly un
til the next morning. And yet the poor creatures
were so foolish as even to thank God for the happi-
j ness they enjoyed, and to call d wn blessings on the
heads of “dear old Master an issus” for the feast
with a friend, or have an oyster-supper,- -a fel
lows bound to have recreation—but that female
would charge down like TeDnjson's Light
Brigade, with; ‘Jennie gets no buggy rides or ! qnently he regarded himselt as exempt from
oyster-suppers—slays at homo slaving with tour attack of the lever this year,
cross children. Too poor to keep ner a servant, |
but not too poor to eat oytters and chew to
bacco and ride in baggies! She Lover had been j
treatel that v ay ; she had shared equally with
her husband in all his pleasures aud troubles;
Jennie was a tool to put tip with such a selfish
brute, etc.* I told her the air of her native
' ju-gle would be more beneficial to her lungs,
F. C. Bangs met with a severe accident in
Philadelphia recently. While walking under
an umbrella with his manager, T. Slater Smith,
one of the ribs ran into his left eye, seriously
injuring it. He is kept in a darkened room, and
his attending physician fears that the sight of
that eye may be permanently interfered with.
A retiiarnable re- ,r,i is that of Mr. David K. King,
Hall count- According to tne Gainesville Eagle
he is ««venty-eight years of age. has lived at his
j.resent residence filty-fonr years, has raised fifteen
children, twelve of whom are still living, has been
a member of the church for more than thirty years,
never bought a bushel of corn or a pound of meat,
owes no man a dollar and is hale and hearty. It
says; “Ifanybody can show a more solid citizen
than this they will please step to the front.”
Miss Wilkinson, who or. the2lith nit., was so badly
burned near Augusta by the explosion of a kerosene
lamp died last Sunday night. Her sufferings dur
ing the two weeks, which elapsed between the burn
ing and her death, were terrible.