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THE MATRIMONIAL MANIA,
Letters Received by a Wicked Old Bachelor Who
Advertised for a Wife.
Baltimore Bulletin.]
‘By George, yon fellows are always bobbing
around when not expected.’
‘What's the matter ? What's up?’
‘Look at these letters, will you! But never
mind. Come, light a pipe and draw up a
chair ; I've something to tell you. There, that’s
it; now read this.’
It was a narrow slip from a newspaper, which
read as follows :
Personal.—A young gentleman from the So.-th
would like to make the acquaintance of a lady of re
finement, with a view to matrimony. Address-
Sun Office.
‘The advertisement is yours, I suppose?’
‘Yts. I have frequently seen such notices in
the papers, but never until within the past few
days knew that women were so green. But
what ninnies some women are. One insertion
produced over fifty letters. Some of them are
from ladies moving in tne best society of the
city, but the majority are from sentimental
school girls, widows, old maids, those border
ing old maidenhood and anxiou- mothers. Now
here is one’’ (stooping over and picking a letter
from the pile on the floor) ‘from a young lady
bubbling over with sentiment. Listen :
“Dear Sib: In answer to your advertisement in
thin morning’s Sun. I would state that I should be
greatly pleased to make your acquaintance. I pre
sume you are a gentleman, or I should not have
written to you ; a lady always must be particular in
rega'd to her suitors, so you will please excuse my
cautious letter. Our family is one ot the F. F. V’s,
who have resided in Baltimore but a short time.
Regarding myself I would say that I am a blonde,
and am you ,g and have good manners and educa
tion. I am not by any means, homely. If you con
clude to think favorabl y of this letter, you will
please follow Instructions, I reside on the east side
of street, between and streets.
“At four o'clock to-morrow afternoon you will
please walk on our side of the street, and stand on
the corner by the drug-stoie until I come to the
front door, then walk to our door. You will know
me, as I will he dressed in a black silk, am. will
have a handkerchief In my hand. In order that I
may fully recognize you, It will be necessary for
you to carry a cane, or if raining an umbrella,
round the handle of the same have wrapped a white
handkerchief, but to a certain extent keep it cov
ered with your hand, as you might attract public
attention,
“You will also wear a button-hole bouquet of red
flowers in the lappel of your coat. My reason lor
asking you to follow instruction is that Ma anu Fa
only allow me to become acquainted by Introduc
tion. If they knew that I became acquainted with
a gentleman in this manner they would be greatly
incensed at my seemingly strange conduct wnen
you see me at the door address me as Alice, then
the recognition will be mutual. We can then ex
change full names, and I will invite you in, and
am sure you will receive a pleasant welcome. Re
spectfully.”
•Well, what do you think of that ? Did you
ever hear of a girl more anxious to be married ?
Her ma and pa ought to be informed of it.
‘Here’s one of quite a different kind. Shall I
read it ? Well, here goes :
“Dear Sir: I noticed your advertisement in the
Sun Paper wishing to form the ic juaintance of a
Lady, I am a widdow without any incumbrances,
and as 1 have but few gentleman acquaintances
would be happy toform your acquaintance with the
view you propose. I am about twenty-eight years
of age am of good Family and well educated, and
considered prepossessing in appearance. Please an
swer and give some information about yourself.
Address Mrs. Exilt ,
auu “Baltimore Post Office.
•*p.S._Ifyou should answer this, please givesime
name, as they do not receive initials at the post-
office.
‘May her incumherances never increase!
Here's another of the same kind :
“Respected Sir: I would be pleased to form
your acquaintance. I am a widow, and very lone
ly and would like some one to help me wile away a
lonely hour. If you think you would like to meet
me, you can do so by addressing Mrs B
‘There, Mr. Reporter, I think is your oppor
tunity. The widow would just suit you. You
may answer it and ‘wile away an hour or two
with her yourself if yon wish.
‘This one is from a dashing young lady with
evidently but one purpose in view. See how
she strikes the key note ;
“Dear Sib: Seeing your advertisement in this
morning’s paper I pen a reply by stating to meet
\ou to-morrow on Charles street on the pavement
ot the Young Men’s Christian Association, north-
west corner of Lexington, between 3 and 1 p. n. We
can then have an interview, and if everything Drove
r avorable we, at some time not far distant, may come
to a final decision. Wear a button-hole bouquet,
consisting of a geranium lear and tea rose. I will do
likewise as a mark ot recognition.
•'From Your Unknown Friend. ’
■Every word of that means business.
■This one in my hand now seems also to have
been somewhat influenced by the business
• T am a widow with six daughters, any one
of whom would just suit you. Call at our house,
No.—Bank street. Respectfully, miss Y. Z.
•How’s this for brevity ?
“My Dear. Dear Sir: Come and see me imme
diately. Yours, Lh.l\.
“May st. .
‘The next is from a lady who has no idea of
matrimony. Lend me your ears. Now then :
“sir- it you will please cab on me,I think I can
introduce you to a lady who will please you, refined
and v ery intelligent, but you must not speak ofmat-
rimonv, as she has no such idea. Mrs. .
“Park avenue.
‘So von see, old fellow, such is the result of
advertising for a wife. But hold on ; what are
^°‘Copying these letters for publication.’
‘But I object.’
‘Too late, now.’ , »
‘Well go ahead. I‘ve gained the information
I wished, and have had my laugh Others may
laugh over them or moralize, as it best pleases
them, but remember one thing and keep it con
stantly before you.*
•Wba* is it ?*
‘No names. 1
■No names.'
‘Honor bright?*
‘Honor bright.*
Every letter in the huge pile was read. About
one-fifth of them are from intelligent and love-
sick school girls. The others are not only
scanty writers, but are also nrm believers in the
new mode of spelling. AH of them-evory let-
. er gays that its writers, like Barkus, is wilhn
—nay, anxious !
The Dance of Death,
The widespread popularity of the skeleton dance
was due in part to the cynical force with which it
embodied an obvious truth,
deuce of its ghastly grotesque with the gum tern
x al, 7 ,»}•. ,»A«turr ‘ but probftbl\ in ft >cill
greater degree to the democratic spirit in which
ftoortraved death as the universal leveller, tramp
ing m’all earthly dignities, and selecting his choic
est- victims among potentates smd princek ^
^ratified that bitter resentment of the lower classes
aeain c t their superiors which produced so many se-
ETs associations of the peasantry throughout
Europe in the iath and 13th centuries: amongst
oK those of the Brethren of the Whit* Cap.and
of the Pastoureaux in France both claiming to
have originated in a supernatural inspiration. This
v-Dirit round vent in v arious forms of popular satire,
but re oiced especially in the embodiment of Death
avenger of all wrong, the common ty-
as the fe rea But the more dreaded foe
rant ot humanity .adeem ^ ^ Here agaiu
of those/who to ' between the teaching of
we ^ethe wide ffiv ergenc^Pe ^
the medieva. pa - tin p ro tTered to the poor
pel, for the mild consotationp different fron f the
and afflicted by un j ve rsal destruction fostered
fierce exultation in taa j recurrence of the
by the other. u \. 0U ‘ nt ries and in all branches
art°north ofthe Alpsisnot more remarkable
than the stereotyped monotony of its symbolical
j treatment. While it is found not alone on the walls
1 of cemeteries and churches, but on glass, tapestry
and household furniture—while it forms a favorite
| subject equally for painting and sculpture as for
I poems, masquerades and dramatic representations
j —the figures introduced and the sequence in which
I they appear are unvarying, and evidently conform
j to some generally received tradition, too deeply-
rooted to admit of modification by the idiosyncrasy
i of individual artists. They may show their fertili-
of invention, indeed, in diversifying accessories
and grouping, attitude and expression, but the
main features of the bizarre legend areeverywhere
maintained, and appear unchanged in its English.
French. Swiss and German versions. They all por
tray with astonishing vividness a grotesquely hor-
j rible ball, in which each of the dancers has the
King of Terrors as a partner, and is led along by
i him with the strictest regard to etiquette in the
! precedence of the various social grades they repre-
i sent. Thus Death leads off with the Pope: the Em-
| peror follows, afler him comes the Cardinal and
j the procession generallv closes, after a carefully
I graduated succession of ranks in the descending
scale, with a mendicant and a new born infant'
The Potentates of Church and State are represent
ed as following reluctantly their skeleton compan
ion, and the higher clergy are frequently rebuked
in the explanatory distichs for pride, avarice, or
luxury-; while the begging friars, the devout her
mits, and the poor and lowly generally are made
to welcome Death as a deliverer. The figures in
most cases follow two and two, each living form
with its skeleton partner,but in some instances they
have joined hands, and are dancing in a ring round
an open sarcophagus or yawning grave. In the
older representations Death is not portrayed as a
completely desiccated skeleton, but in the more
dreadful transition stage, in which the artist spare i
JUPITER'S SPOTS.
r Po hester Democrat and Chronicle.'
There is trouble in the giant planet Jupiter,
j which is shining so brilliantly these cool August
j nights. A great spot, estimated to be iS,ooc miles
! in diameter, is conspicuous on the planet’s disc. It
I ha- been visible for two years, says M. Trouvelot.
I at Cambridge. Mass., although its appearance has
i not been generallv known until recently. It is
I probable that on the first discovery of the spot the
: color was not strongly pronounced, or it would
• have been more genei'ally- observed Dr. Swift, of
Rochester, saw the spot for the first time only a
j few weeks ago. The only explanation thus far
I given is that there is a rent in the cloud covering
| of Jupiter, revealing the red-hot body of the plan-
| et. This explanation hardly explains, although it
is now generally conceded that Jupiter is a glow
I iiig mass, and shines partly by his o vn light. Many
i remarkable changes have recently taken place in
j the appearance of Jupiter. Those who search for
j the red -pot cannot fail to nothe the white, cioud-
I like spots between the great copper-colored equato-.
{rial belts. The great central belt seems to be
I broken up into white cloud masses lying at inter-
j vals along the Jovian equator. The copper color
1 of the outer belts extends in some places across the
| equatorial regions, usually occupied by a bright
belt of creamy white. North and south of the
I great equatorial belts, and about half way to the
I poles, are narrow, irregular, salmon-colored belts,
I that present a verv beautiful appearance. The
: 1 due coloring about the poles seems less pronounced
j than usual. It is more than probable that in the
, mighty changes going on in Jupiter we are wit
nessing the phenomena of world growth, and that
| the giant planet is slowly undergoing, under our
! very eye#, the modificat ons necessary to fit it for
i habitation,
PERSONALS.
WHAT PEOPLE ARE IMMNG AND SAYING
ALL OVER THE WORLD.
JIM. FISK, once a power in the Commercial centers of New York, but whose name was
recently removed from a steamer.
none of of the horrors of gradual corruption. The i
procession is sometimes heralded by a preacher,
and sometimes by the figures of Adam and Eve,
with Death supporting the Tree of. Knowledge and
the serpent twining round him. The belief of
Pythagoras, held by the Romans and adopted in
the Middle ages, that the spinal marrow after
death changed into a serpent, is recalled by seeing
the dead in other parts of the procession sometimes
portrayed with serpents enwreathing their bodies.
Proclamation
By the King of the Carnival.
Rural Scene.
BY MRS. MARY WARE.
I once had a pleasant sojourn in the country—the
very heart of the country, where nature in all its
simplicity met the eye. ’ Hills and dells and wind
ing streams seemed to bear the impress of ages
gone, for their solemn grandeur looked undisturb
ed by the touch of time. But these sylvan solitudes
were sparsely peopled by simple hearted “folk,"
who come on, and pass off the stage of action as
flowers do. following mechanically in the footsteps
of their predecessors.
Natu. e had been prodigal with her gifts. The
hills blossomed into rare beauty, and wreathed
themselves with royal sunlight, as if rejo cing in
natural freedom I A little stream, too. all unknown
to fame, danced and sparkled like a thing of glad
ness, its bright waters entangled by ferns ana wa
ter lilies, until it broke away from their sweet em
braces, and hurried on to its destination.
And there, amid those sylvan stiitudes, was a
little countrv churchyard, and oh, how peaeefui
and quiet that last resting-place appeared ! Not a
harsh sound reached it: the music of the birds and
waters only, disturbed the solemn silence. No pomp,
no pride, no vain show, mocked the solemnity of
death, and I felt it would be sweet to rest there be
neath the daisies.
I was alone with the silent dead, and yet there
was nothing revolting or terrible in the solemn si
lence brooding over us Night was gathering
around, and the stars were coming out and taking
their places in the silent sk\, when I was startled
by the sound of a human voice. It was the sweet,
natural voice of a child, and turning quiekiv. I saw
a young girl of rare beauty leading by the hand a
little boy of about four years of age. I am sure I
never ssw a sweeter face than that of the child,
which bore a strong resemblance to the one bend
ing over it, The same soft, brown eyes, aDd ten
der. wistful expresion, as if the soul were reaching
out and hungering for something too bright and
pure for this world. Presently they stopped at a
lone grave thickly overgrown with ferns, and wild
violets, aDd heard the girl say:
•This is the place ! There is his name ! O, Paul !
little brother, our father sleeps here.' and the bright
young face grew pale with emotion.
•No, sister, our father is up yonder with the an
gels; you told me so, and sometimes when I am
sleeping he comes ■ nu talks to me. and he is so
bright and good. Oh, sister, what makes you cry '
God will take care of us. Didn’t father say he
would ?
I afterward learned something of their history.
They were orphans, their mother having died at the
birth of little Paul, and their father having receiv
ed a death wound in battle, died near this secluded
spot, and by his request was buried iL the little rus
tic churchvard.
I have never since seen the beautiful girl, or the
sweet little child whose sublime faith impressed
me so deeply, but the memory of that summer ev
ening is folded away in my h-art.
Columbiana, Ala.
A friend and neighbor has a relative, a practical
Christian, who has a forcible way of putting things.
The other day the subject of death bed repentance
was nnder discussion, when he said: “Some men
think they can live any kind of life, yet save Their
souls by a so-called repentance a few hours before
death: ” but I have my doubts as to how that kind
of washing will dry when hung out on the heaven
ly clothes-line.”
EOiCT XXXIV.
TO ALL WHOM THESE PRESENTS SHALL COME,
greeting:
Our loving and obedient subjects of the Gate
City of the South, are assured that with the
most sincere pleasure we have watched the
increased and rapid strides of prosperity that
have followed their much famed city, and our
truest and best wishes were with them.
Believing that our presence will tend to attract
thousands of our subjects, and to increase the
motion of the wheels of trade, thus bringing to
them prosperity and happiness, we do ordain
that
WEDNESDAY, THE 22 i OF OCTUBER, 1879
which is the 2d day of the great North Georgia
Fair and Races, shall be observed in such state
and pomp as shall make it a season of joy to our
loving subjects and all who shall visit our Roy-
31 Capital at that time; and to this end we do
order and decree:
I. That all liDes of transportation extending
throughout our Royal Domain immediately
cause to be promulgated reduced tariff of fares,
for the benefit of loyal subjects who may desire
to visit the Royal Capital on that day.
II. That in order to testify their loyalty, and
to properly honor our Most August Person, on
the occasion of our triumphal entry into the
Capital, all loyal subjects resident therein are
hereby commanded to forthwith form them
selves into organized bodies, reporting prompt
ly to the Department of War, for assignment to
station and service.
III. That in consideration of ready and im
plicit obedience to this cnr Royal Mandate,each
and every loyal snbj ret is hereby absolved from
all service or allegiance io any other power than
that of themselves., and all public buildings and
places cf business in the Royal Capital are here
by order-d to be closed.
IY. We cor,g:atulaie onr royal subjects
throughout the S a e upon the abundant crops
which have awarded the labors ol husbandmen,
and the mapy signs cf returning good fortune j
which brigntens tne horizon cf tue luture, and
trust that these evidences of better days, now so
happily * xining. may continue and grow strong
er with years, increasing the prosperity, wealth
and power of those whom we love so well; en
abling them to celebrate with more eclat, and
more heartily enjoy, our annual visit to their
beautiful city.
god save tee king!
Given under Our Hand ana Seal, at Beren-
garia Palace in onr City Eclipse Bonofoco, this
25th August, 1879. and One Thousand and Sev
enty-Seventh of Our Reign.
BY THE KING HIMSELF: REX.
attest:
CATO, Lord High Chamberlain,
Caeniyal palace, Atlanta, Aug. 30, 1879.
Address all official communications to Warwick
P. O. Drawer 1095, Atlanta, Ga-
(This has no connection with the night display
or ball of the ‘‘Mystic Owls.”)
They were talking about the weight of different
individuals in a certain family, and the daughter's
young man, who was present, spoke up before he
thought, and said: 'I tell you that Jennie ain’t so
very light either, although she looks so,’ And then
he looked suddenly conscious, and blushed, and
Jennie became absorbed in studying a chrorno on
the wall-
General Grant is said to be just $2.50 out of pocket
by his circumterrestrial frolic.
Mr. Ernest Longfellow, th*- artist, -on of the
poet is going to build himself a studio at Cam
bridge.
Fred Douglas, speaking a' the emancipation cel
ebration in Cumberland. Md.,on Monday, said: “My
advice to the colored man is, ‘stay wn-re you are.' ’’
Mrs. Augnsta J Evans Wi! -on. author of‘Beulah.’
‘St. Elmo,’ etc., is in New York, the uest of Mrs.
Vanderbilt, the wife of the late Cornelius Vander
bilt.
Cornelius Vanderbilt, having recently got a large
sum of money, has rented an elegant house in Wash
ington, where he will spend the winter and his
money together.
“Tears come L to mv eyes.” wrote the R v. Dr. T.
DeWitt Talmageinhis last letter, written before
sailing for home, “as I think of the good times we
shall have this winter.” Scm. of the Brooklyn pres
byters also doubtless will weep over this suggestion.
There is an unauthorized supposition a : road that
the pulpit of the Brooklyn Tabernacle will have to
be increased in size to viva the enl rged view of
things which Mr. Talmage takes with his legs since
his European trip a fair chance.
Since Senator Zachariah Chandler has got his
mouth in good fighting condition he has enlisted
for the war. After he puts down the Union briga
diers on the Democratic ticket ir Ohio, he will make
speeches in Massachusetts and Wisconsin.
The Count de Castiglione, an intimate iriend and
companion Jof the late King Victor Emanuel, died
at Hartiord, Conn., last Friday. He came to this
country in search of zool gical specimens in the
Rocky Mountain region, and married Miss Porter,
a Hartford lady.
Of Annie Louise Cary, who has just left her home
in Durham, Maine, a farmer living in that neigh
borhood. says: “Annie's jest the girl she used to be.
She don't wear none of her fine dresses when she
comes back, nor har flashing diamonds either. She
is jest as nateral as natur, and don’t put on no airs.
She jest comes into the old church and pipes up,
and knows everybody jest the same as she did when
she was a school-gal.”
•Tndge Davis, of the New York Supreme Court,
gatheied some bright autumn leaves while strolling
in the country on the Hudson last Saturday, and
found too late that they were those of the poison
ivy. On Tuesday morning the poison manifested its
effect in his hands, and Wednesday afternoon his
iaee became greatly swollen and his lefi eye closed.
He was kept off the bench yesterday, but hopes to
be out to-day.
The rooms of Gen. Grant at the Palace hotel in
San Francisco are furnished with California laurel,
Carrara marble, French wines. Irish Linen, Arctic
landscapes, Holland gin, Persian coverlets, Turkish
carpets and Kentucky whiskey—a truly cosmopol
itan style befitting the great circumnavigator's cos
mopolitan tastes.
Capt. Isaac Denike, of Yonkers. N. Y., celebrated
on Wednesday the one hundredth anniver-ary of
his birth by receiving visits from his friends and
neighbors. He was born in Duchess county, but
has^ lived in Westchester the most of his life —
When four years of age he was taken to New York
by his parents to see George Washington, who p -t-
ted him on the head. In the war of 1812 he served
as a quartermaster's sergeant,
Brumidi, the artist, who has for twenty-three
years been at work on various kinds of deer ration
inside the Capitol building at Washington, came so
n;ar falling from his scaffold on Wednesday that he
thinks hewillnever beableto finish hie allegorical
pictures in the upper part of the rotunda. He has
been at work on these for three years, and has them
about one-third done. He is a very old man, but he
thinks he will live long enough to complete the car
toons on paper, leaving it to others to transfer it to
the walls. He says that though there is no artist
in this country who can complete the work, there
are several artists in Italy who can be secured.
Mr. Robert Bonner’s forthcoming sale is the talk
of New York and the country around. The sale will
take place at the Manhattan Athletic Club grounds
Eigth avenue and Fifty-sixth street, Wednesday-
Oct. 29. Some seventy-five bead Mil’ be offered.—
The catalogue will not be ready for some days. We
understand 1 hat Keene Jim will he sold in the lot.
He was driven an .asy mile on Wednesday in 2.24}4.
He should trot in 2.20 on a good track. As this is
Mr. Bonner's first sale, and as every animal that is
offered will positively be sold, hundreds look for
ward to the 29th of October with no small degree of
anxiety.
The Marquis of Lome and the princess Louise
will, it is reported, arrive in NewY'ork about the
twentieth of October, to remain a week or ten days
It is presumed that they will select the Windsor
Hofei as their place ofsojourn. following the exam
ple of the Duke of Argyll, the father of the marquis.
It is their v. ish that no demonstration on the part
of the people be made, and they will decline all in
vitations of a public character.
.Mr. Charles Reade is reported to have been fond
of fielion from his boyhood, when he madeup tales
and read all of Scott's novels before he was twelve
years of age. While at coliege he read at least
half a dozen novels every week. He had been called
to the bar but never practiced, having read law sim
ply as an aid in writing Dovels. He is a stout hater
of injustice, and declares that he can no longer afford
to write with no higher object than entertainment;
that the Doble and only worthv end of fiction is to
correct evils in society and the state.
Mr. Ralph Waldo Emerson's wife is dt scribed as
tall and slender, with a thoughtful, refined face and
silver hair. Her dress was a black silk, severely
simple and elegant, in harmony with her seventy
years, and heigh’ened the fairness of her very fair
complexion, She reminds one of a stately lady ab
bess and fascinates the eye of a stranger until the
gaze seems almost rude in it- persistence. She is
full of kindness and courtesy, and responsive to the
sympathies of those about her- During a recent sup
per a Western lady, sittingbetween her and a dis
tinguished visitor, remarked that she had never
before been so delightfully sandwiched, to which
Mr. Emerson replied, ‘The best part of a sandwich
is always in the middle.''
When Carlyle goes into his native county, as it
has long been his custom frequently to do, he is a
welcome visitor at the home of an old pupil living
in Kirkaldy, where Carlyle once kept school. On
one occasion when making a visit his host late at
night said: “Now, Mr, Carlyle, we are going to have
family worship,” tbink’ng he might wish to retire
before it was begun. But Car'yleat once replied: |
“Well, bring me the book and I'll read for you. '
The Bible was given to him. ana he began to read ]
at the beginning of the book of Job. Fora time it!
was delightful to listen to him, as he went on through j
chapter after chapter, interspersiug quaint paren- |
thetic remarks. But it soon became evident that j
he was in danger of reading tnronghthe whole book
of Job. At last his niece, by whom he was accom
panied, recalled him to himself, saying: “The ser
vants must be weary and will wish to go to sleep.”
Whereupon he closed^the book with a short, sharp,
clasp-like sound, and betook himself to the next
room and to his pipe.
fifilit and Stumor.
The sunflower hangs his head to the West,
Ard these cool nights pnlls down his vest.
Jblessed is he that sitteth on a red-hot stove, for
he shall rise again.
Say. Mr. Booth, who was Richard III. before he
j was “himselfagain?”
| Blushing—A practice least used by those who have
most occasion for it.
j A mud-turtle can neither sing, fly, gallop, laugh,
| cry or go blaekberrying, and yet, if they are let alone
I they get along just as well as the young man who
tries to be funny at a lawn party,
j There is an editor on the New York Commercial
I Advertiser who has refused eleven different invi-
! tations togo up in balloons. What a skeary time
he will have going to heaven!
j It was a new idea, that of an Iowa man who got up
i a bible with one page of holy writ alternatiug with
j a page advertisement of business houses, but some-
bow it didn't sell. The proverbs don't mix well
with stomach bitters.
HaDgastate which makes use of a Latin motto
with its coat of arms! Why not come right out and
«ay: “If you want a whooping old time squat here:”
or English words to that effect. One of the worst
swearers in Detroit got his reputation by making
use of Latin mottoes.
“The statue placed the busts between
Adds to the thought much strength;
Wisdom and Wit are little seen,
But Folly's at full length.”
In the town ofLysander, N. Y„ two flat stones
have been accidentally dug up, upon one of which
is engraved, “Murdered. E. H„ 1652.” And upon
the oiher, “Revenge is sweet.”
Her l.ps were red, her looks were free
Her locks were yellow as gold;
Her skin was as white as leprosy.
The nightmare lUe-in-death was she,
Who thicks man’s blood for gold.
A letti r was posted at the post-office at New Lon
don, a while since, bearing the subjoined address:—
“To my sister Bridget or else'o my brother Tim
maloney or if not to her mother-in-law w bo came
to Ameriky but did not stay loug aud went back to
theould country—in care of the Prast s who live in
the Parisn of baican burry in Cork or if not to some
dacant neighbor in Ireland,’’
Nor look, nor footstep backward turn.
Though many a vanished scene be fair;
There’s less Nepenthe in the urn
Of Memory, than Despair,
The future we can carve at will—
The sculptured Past defies our skill.
Chinese porters in San Francisco carry their bur
dens on the end of a bamboo pole balanced over the
shoulder--one man easily carrying two packages of
the weight of a barrel of flour each. But when there
is only one package, two men are required, oneat
each end of the pole, with the weight hung in the
middle. An innovator who showed them that one
man could more easily carry a single packageon his
shoulder was almost mobbed the other day by his
conservative brethren.
A set has been made against clever women from
all time. Take all Shakespeare’s heroines; they all
seem to me the same, affectionate, motherly, tender
and all that sort of thing. Take Scott’s ladies, and
other writers’, each one seems to dress from one
model—and exquisite slave is what we want for the
most part—an humble, flattering, smiling, child-
loving, tea-making, pianaforte-playing being, who
laughs at our jokes, however old they may be, eeax-
es and wheedles us to our humors, and londly lies
to ns through life.
Mose Case, a negro Albino, was about as well
known to General Taylor’s army as the General
himself. At Buena Vista, Mose left early in the ac
tion and found his way to Saltillo, where he stayed
until the battle was over. Mose would never admit
that he ran—he only retreated in good order. A few
days after his return to camp an officer was press
ing him to knowhow fast he did retreat. “Well,
I’ll tell you the truth. Captain,” was the reply. “IfI
had been home, and going after the doctor, the folks
would have thought the man was right sick!”
The South abounds most richly in queer names—
suggestive ones they sometimes are. Thus, “Uph-
aupee” and“Upatoie”arethe names of locomotives
as well as of towns in Georgia; “Loachapoka” and
“Xotasulga” are the names of towns and hotels in
Alabama; “Phytanee” and ‘‘Perdido,” as well as
“John the Baptist,” “Religious” ai.d “Good Chil.
uren” are the names of streets in New Orleans.—
Among the names of merchants emblazoned on
signs in that city are: “Fatjo,” “Kehlor,” “Giquel,”
“Shaiicross,” “Swymmer,”“HoIyiand”and “Three-
wits.”
Lord Byron told Trelanev that his separation from
his wife proceeded from a few hasty words, uttered
when ne was unaware of her presence. During his
financial troubles his wjfehnd come into his study so
quietly that he did not know it. Thinking over-his
condition, and thinking how much his marriage
had rendered his ruin more unpleasant, he cried au
dibly, for her to hear, “Lady ByroD is confounded
ly in my way!” She roused him from his brown
study by saying, “Indeed, my Lord! I can easily get
out of it!” Byron would have it she never forgave
this escapade.
President Lincoln had a dry way of “putting the
question.” Par example: A clergyman gave the
President his views of conducting the war, and after
talking five minutes drew up to hear what the Pres
ident had to say. “Perhaps you had better try to
run the machine a week,” quietly remarked Ol'’
Abe. Another gentleman, after pouring out his
vials of wrath upon a Government officer, was sur
prised to hear the President quietly remark: “Now,
you are just the man I've been looking for. I want
you to give me your advice and tell me, if you were
in my place and had heard all you've been telling
and didn’t believe a word of it, what would you do?”
A Western farmer was greatly annoyed by the
scratching of the chickens in his garden, and con
cluded to experiment a little with them. He pro
cured a Shanghai rooster, aud the result of the cross
was a brood of chickens with one long and one short
leg. When thev stood on the long leg and attemp
ted to scratch with the other, they couldn’t touch
bottom. On reversing the order of things, and dig-
£ ing with the long leg, while the short one support
ed the body, the first stroke woul ' result in a great
series cf somersaults. The consequence was the
hens soon became “a-weary” of teat fun, and left
the garden, and the farmer’s wife is patenting the
invention.
Liverpool has a good local story of a tiger which
escaped from a menagerie and terrified the suburbs
for some hours. In one outlying district a man who *
had “lost the use ofbothle^s” had sat for twenty
years; a sturdy, stunted vagrant, making a good
thing out of his infirmity. But in an evil hour for
his professional profits, the road where he had taken
up his seat for a score of years was on the morning
of the tigers' escape the scene of a fierce stampe e.
Down it poured, pell-mell, mer, women aDd ebil-
dien at full speed, screaming with terror, and cry
ing out, “The tiger, the tiger!” The cripple had heard
the news of the tiger's escape, and now fear lent him
legs, or restored his old limbs; he started up, threw
away the big bowl on which he had sat, doubled
up every day, and with an energy that lef„ nothing
to be desired, he bounded down the road, and then
outstripped all the competitors. The tiger was
caught; but the “cripple” was never seen again, at
least in that neighborhood.