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THE SUNNY 80UTH, ATLANTA; GEORGIA, SEPTEMBER 20 189*
3
H#t „ bnnW. i anri
Il»*
South.
frjSpB riding U 1 and down and
carriage, drawn by dashing
‘ weptd ° w “
"““r;
^ [*dw ,eaD -anc^for the common herd that
*Sffsfe'"5S , U- •*.
’ ,, 5 y 5iS5S'SW^ **
. h . v i" The words swept back
U firhUto the Jong past > ears.
“ yt ha ir ba<i grown gray with time or my
■fore ffimm-n with tears.
eyw |be park with its graveled ways
^/^^teadTJou^tryroad with trees on
, ffo me came the memory of a summer
Gle In'iiiu ™'> '“«• t bat evening
..^S.^irt’ae fresh and lair u ever a
girl could be.
, ore to a buggy, a dark bay horse, who went
-hen I told him to go,
r. wither wa« warm, and the girl so
: the ^r a tiiat I drove him rather slow.
•taTand the fire-flies twinkled both like
Ives Id the mystic gloom;
, an odor sweet came out of the hedge where
the Cherokee rose was in b'ooim
i from over the Be'ds near the edge o’the
wood, the partridge’s whistle came faint,
in iast to left on the top o’ the hill, the
whippoorwill made his complaint,
brighter than stars or lire-tties glow, were
the eyes of the maid at my side,
gweeter than birdsong ber voice; when
ghe spoke and promised to soon be my
hrlde.
»0carious crowd thronged the side of the road,
* no haughty dame stately and grand,
vu there to look on with cold frigid stare, as
1 took unrebuked her small band. -
There were only tnose myriads of fire-fly lamps
and the miechevlous stars up above—
To enviously shed all their light on the scene,
as f took mv first kiss from my love,
wewerecountrytied lovers,without much style,
or money, or rasblon, or show;
BotlthlHkwe were twenty times “happy as
they,” as they ride through the park,
"d mcher know”.
I money and style are good things to have,
and fashion I do not deride;
But for pleasure—you want just a country drive,
with the girl that you love at your side.
—C. Conway Baker.
The Mission of the Humorist.
Nearly all people fail to regard the hu
morist in a serious light, and if they do
ook at him without a smile they say he is
jo humorist. The world at large does not
ompreheml the self-sacrificing mission of
he humorist, and refuses to recognize his
ieinterestedness. The humorist may toil
ora lifetime, striving after his ideals,
lerring a high purpose, and then what re*
T ird does the world offer him? A chuckle,
grin, and that is all. The true disinter*
■ted humorist is not a rare being nowa-
ay*; there is an army of these nr selfish
issionaricH, whose one idea in life is to
ake bright and happy the wav of the
any millions. They do not seek the re-
ard of money. To give them money is
ike crowning a donkey with laurel—the
ast eats the crown and the humorist
pends his money on the instant. They
o not know what money is; they laugh
IVople like to regard the bnmorist as a
ortof rare and diffident, being, a little
racked on several subjects, which ac-
unts for their ability to be laughed at
nd not retaliate. There are humorists in
bis world who, laboring in the cause of
umanity. work through the night even
ntil daylight, and then when they are
akened after two hours’ sleep, and ex-
ress a wish to rest longer, are greeted
ith such roars of laughter as to make
eep impossible. Other people think that
. runny, and even laugh at the humorist’s
»ws on the subject, however forcible
u strong they may be. Your real humor-
seeks to banish sorrow and dispel dull
re, and therefore plants his seed in
me ground, producing happiness and
. • let the careless world says that
" gram is only chaff, and all that
j H \“ n , raiHe is a laugh. The poor man is
iHumlemood at every turn in life. Doc-
n.i« egard llim 48 a fraud because he
monstrous bill when he has
nm v 81< j knt ‘ 88 au <l raised the sufferer
C® his bed of paiu.
* ortbl hi8 shaft of iight, audit
a xhl mt0 hardened hearts, convert-
af«iV f 118 t r ’ y et .the check that is imme-
tb« rJ. or , “ C0 ming from the latter goes
e hnm!?* r 8 8 * con, l cousin, and not to
ho is f« rst * ^he after-dinner speaker,
t him J, ue , nT1 - v mistaken for the humor-
mhle mi ‘ * 0b K et8 t0 give credit to the
exist. ? ai ? W i^° ma( ^ e it possible for him
mins?-, imblic, which attempts
ith im fLli Au 2lomaniacal tendences
naorist .. invariably regards the
ker. 48 an un *i®r8tudy for an nnder-
t/onof ^J remel - V Pitiful that such a con-
»weetn?.i ngS ^ onld that an apostle
bghed 88 8Q 'iU«ht should not only be
od TH a h but h® absolutely misunder-
th suruf jmorist hides his lights be-
ult ruuC H ] bushels, and essays the dif-
uonviM °i ma hi D R a name for himself
tdly y S y - But ib doesn’t do. The
kieve s,-mf 9 iv!^ ary to humanity may
meek and
ODce to c y i and oredit of it is given
* hnnmr,^ ney S “ ith of Plutarch. Yet
worT d a na C ? ntinues to exist despite
i. ’ 11 d to make men happier be-
he realizes bis duty and bravely
known hrated , and dangerous
k D M the Inch Cape,
s’ .- 1 ? fh® German Ooe&i
forth nnH entrauoe of t
<1 > a nd about twelve mil
th A s s a ^ b » 0t v 0f Ab erbrothc
» Wsrn 110 have piaced a be
Which
tv; ‘ a Gutch rover, as a re*
*&T che 2 ou#aot> wa » ^nbt
^?.“ 8 o7<fkS 8 oo r8 U°
Mpe Lc 1 i' 8U ' k ° 0WC baiiad
BILL NYE AT THE F AIK
A LETTER FROM FATHER TO SON
TELLING ALL ABOUT IT.
Or, Bather, Referring to It Occasionally at
Long Intervals, When Other Topics Have
Been Exhausted—Doing the Midway
Flaisance and Spending a Pleasant Day.
[Copyright, 1893, by Edgar W. Nye.]
Chicago, Sept. 12, 1893.
My Dear Henry—You will no doubt
be surprised to know that your mother
and me has been to the World’s fair for
a plumb week, seeing it and being seen
of it, as you might say.
I had no idear of going all summer ow
ing to the scarcity of stringency here,
but by a lucky turn of stock I made$200.
I made a bet with an “educated farmer”
at home regarding the height of the full
THE WATER COLOR GIRL.
grown peanut tree by which I made
above amount. I bet my stock against
his is why I refer to it as a deal in
stocks. I sold the beef on the hoof for
two hundred dollars and some cents.
So he will remain at home, and I will
tell him about the fair, which is a suc
cess.
I bought excursion tickets on the rail
road at a scandalous low price and got
here fresh and comfortable, with several
doughnuts over and above what we need
ed. I have et doughnuts soaked in coffee
now for most a week, and I shall never
care for them again. Mother cooked a
pillercase full before we started, and I be
gin to yearn for vegetables, to tell the
plain truth with the natural finish on it.
I suppose you are having a good time
at New Roshell, and I send you what 1
can spare, but hope you will not tell
your artist friends how I made the raise.
I was bluffed into it by a man that came
to our neighborhood and begun to farm
it with a high hand and tell about “in
telligent farming.” He called on me
when he first come to borrow some sweet
potato seed, and I was not at home at
the time, being away pricing a bull that
I heard was for sale down the river, so
he left his card.
I’ve got it yet. What should I do with
it, Henry? I have no place to keep it
and hate to send it back to him, for it
was done in a friendly way, and he did
not mean to be anything but social, I
take it.
Afterward he sent over for me to come
and see him at once if I could. He want
ed to have me sit up with him over night,
as he was confined to his bed, he said, and
“suffering intensely with some terrible
eruption.” I made what’s called an ex
amination and found he had been chawed
up with what we call * ‘jiggers.” Jiggers,
you rickolect, is a red bug about the size
of a grain of red pepper and can hardly
be seen with the nakid eye. But the
place he soon makes on the surface of
an “intelligent farmer” can be seen
across the fair ground easy.
This man—his name was Bertram
Whangleathers—had jigger terraces all
over him and welts of hectic flushes and
nice red gopher holes and perara dog
villages till the cows come home. I never
saw such a sight since I was born. His
back looked like the fortifications around
Vicksburg.
He would talk with me in a lucid way
for a few minutes, and then he would
leap out of bed and back up aginst a wall
of what he calls “lincruster waiter” and
agitate himself with a look of deleerious
j°y*
You know a jigger that even hears a
rumor that an “intelligent farmer” is in
the county will travel night and day to
find him, and then there is an erie of
good feeling and a barbecue right after
ward. Bertram said he had been paint
ing a picture of a heifer all the day be
fore, and I found that while he was
doing it he had been setting on an old
dead log. Old dead logs is where jiggers
in good standing holds their conclaves.
A water color girl from Brooklyn, E.
D., painted a 6elf made bull of mine last
year, aiming to exhibit the painting at
one of the saloons in New York, she said,
upd gjyj get on a nice niossy log, too. I
told her that a mossy log was pizen for
insecks; but, no, she allowed that she
couldn’t see any, and, in fact, she couldn’t
see anything smaller than a trestle, for
she had been mellowed some by age.
There was sounds of revelry by night
after that for several moons, and your
mother says that since you had the hives
she has not saw anything like it. She
was a slender girl—so slender that a jig
ger bite on the shin made her seem to be
going the other way.
Oh, how she murmured!
I see no ill feeling or resentment south
toward the northern man unless the
northern man sits down on a dead log
to read “Lorna Doone.” Then there is
something steals up his trousers legs
which arouses the old party spirit.
I auctioned off some extra furniture
the other day, especially yours, as I do
not look for you to come home much
more. Mother says you have mostly
outgrown the home nest and will soon
catch on to some other biydling and make
a nest of your own.
You are old enough now to breathe
words of love of evenings and wait for
some celestial restaurant to come and
take your order for meals. I shall al
ways take an interest in you, Henry
—you know that—but while there is no
confidence shown in the stringency of
the times I wish you would borrow most
ly of people you are visiting at New Ro
shell.
Among other things I sold at the auc
tion and fire sale was the heavy mahog
any bedstid, which I thought that some
lover of the anteek would run up to a
fabuliss price. One woman spending the
summer near us said all it wanted was
some nice heavy brass castors so’s that
it could be jerked around easy and swep
under. So I got a big set at Brightly’s
place for $2.50 and put them in that
night, boring holes in the bedstid to sock
them into. You know old wood like
that is pretty middling hard, and our
auger was injured 18 years ago by my
son when he bored into the pasture eleven
or nine times for kerosene oil.
I put in the biggest part of the night
boring four holes, your mother trying
to hold the old quail trap stiddy whilst
I worked, and in the morning it was auc
tioned off for $1.50. This is a fact and
shows how stringency is here on the farm.
I reserved the castors while the bed
stid was in transit and drove some nails
in the auger holes to teach future gener
ations that an old man like me cannot
be ground under the iron heel of capital
and then fed to the hogs. It may not be
a Christian spirit, but there is about as
little of the John Rogers idear in me as
most any honest farmer you will find in
Buncombe county,N. C., U. S. A., which
is my address.
But I have wandered from the World’s
fair, and possibly you are glad of it, for
the papers are infested with it now most
all the time, but it is the biggest thing I
ever saw, and I shall be 63 next frost.
We took a tent and picnic near the
grounds. Quite a number of the wealthy
people do that way. I stand it better
than your mother does, as I was in the
war and slept many of a night under a
rhododendron bush and had to dress and
undress for four years in the presence of
the shocked and horrified moon.
Once I was changing my shirt toward
the close of the war, for mother had told
me not to dare to return from the war
without doing so, when General Lee, a
man of good family and generally sup
posed to have as much real pollish as
ery man in the war, come in where I
was in a large cotton field and brought
30,000 men with him, and I never had
met any of them before in my life. That’s
the way a Yankee soldier was treated
time and time again.
But that is neither here nor there. It
was in Virginia. However, to come back
to the fair. I have spent most of the
time at the farm machinery egzibbit,
where I get more animation and noise
for my money than elsewhere. I also
love to strole through the pictorial de
partment and wonder what is behind
the screen that is over a big painting
there. Day after day I excuse myself to
mother and go to the dairy awhile, and
gradually so on around to where the pic
ture is that has a blanket over it.
It was a good idear whoever thought
of it, for it brings a good many people
to the gallery that otherwise would not
come.
I was also much pleased with Eli Mus-
ser’s egzibbit of buggies and phayturns.
Eli is a man of enterprise and a general
oner, as they say here. I went to school
with him.
In the tapestry and rag carpet depart
ment there is a good deal that is expen
sive, but pretty well wore out, I should
say. Our schoolteacher, Mr. Pilcher,
that you stumped on how long it would
take A, B and C to get their share of
a grindstone used off if A paid two-
thirds, B one-sixth and C had one-sixth
charged, but did not pay for it, provided
A and B took turns turning the grind
stone and C riding on it with an old ax.
and 6 per cent interest on money, is at
th^fair.
He got our districk to believe that we |
ought to send him there “to get new
idears in school goverinunt and rashional
methods.” I met him here with a big
red badge on, and lie had shaved off his
John C. Calhoun whiskers, that used to
bile up over his collar like a mass of red
top busting out through a crack in the
sidewalk and kind of give me the im-
IN THE MIDWAY FLAISANCE.
pression always that he had a pelt on
him like a red Irish setter except where
he shaved.
Now he is all dressed up and has been
shaved in the Palmer House barber shop,
where they have a silver dollar in each
square of the floor. Since times is so de
monetized they have put plate glass mir
rors on the ceiling so as to double the
volume of silver coin on the floor. This
is more like congress than anything I
ever knew a barber to do.
But I am wandering away from the
fair again.
I was going to say that Mr. Pilcher
was going to take me to see a specially
spicy dance on the Midway pleasents
Tuesday, but mother said she would not
permit me to do so. I said to her sort of
spirited and annoyed: “You read the pa
pers and get lots of fool notions in your
head, I think, for such a nice old lady as
you seem like. Prob’ly,” I said, winking
at Pilcher, “you have made an erroneous
of yourself regarding this dance.”
“No,” she said, looking me in the eye
in a way that made my wind infested
whiskers turn gray, “I am making no
mistake, father. I was there yesterday
myself.”
There is nothing left now for me that
is interesting except the people of the
Dahomey village, who remind me of a
Republican mass meeting in South Car
olina.
Maybe I will have time to pencil off
another letter whilst here, but this one,
I know, is rambling, and I have had no
time to revise it, for we engaged meals
before we started from home, and the
man lives of course in Chicago, but it is
north of Beloit quite a ways, and our
tent is in South Chicago, which is near
Indianapolis. This keeps us on the go
except when we lunch on the grounds
and give our eggshells to the poor.
Day before yesterday I had a glass of
beer, and the band seemed to play a lit
tle bit better than it had before since I
have been on the grounds.
A man also came near falling off the
big Ferris wheel 300 feet to the ground,
and in every way it was the pleasantest
day I have yet saw whilst here. So, good-
by. Yours respectfully, your father,
P. S.—Your mother has just sprained
ker ankel, and I am with Pilcher this
p. m. Father.
Aa Alligator Create* a Panic,
London.—A large alligator on exhi
bition in a music hall at Portsmonth
escaped from its cage to-day and ran into
the orcheetra apparently bent on devour
ing the solitary musician who had been
torturing the audience with “Ta-ra-ra-
boom-de-iy.”
The musician did not wait for the alliga
tor, but bolted, and the alligator followed
him into the audience The latter rose in
a panic and rushed for the door. After a
good deal of panic and no damage the ani
mal was recaged, the andietice drifted
back and the musician resumed the tune
which had apparently driven even the al
ligator to a mad desire to get away.
Double daily connections via Cen
tral Railroad of Georgia to all Florida
points.
Through sleeper to Jacksonville on
6:55 p. m., train, arrives Jacksonville
7:40 a. m.
Four trains daily to Macon; two
to Savannah.
Take a trip to New York and Boston
via Central Railroad, and Ocean
Steamship Co.
J. C. Haile, G. P. A.,
Savannah, Ga.
8. B. Webb, T. P. A.
^D. H. Hall, G. P. & T. A.,
Atlanta, Ga.
For sale by all druggists.
mummified relics.
The Head of a Mexican Bandit Brought
Prom Arizona.
The head of Geronimo, the Arizona
bandit, wrapped in a blanket and tied up
in a jute sack, lies in a stable back of the
Southern Pacific offices at Fourth and
Townsend streets. It is not the head of
Geronimo, the Apache chief who so often
spread desolation along the borders of
Arizona, New Mexico and Chihuahua,
but the Mexican Geronimo, whose field of
operations lay along the stage ronte be
tween Tucson and Bisbee Geronimo was
a sort of Arizona Joaquin Marietta, a ter
ror to the whole southwestern quarter of
the territory in the seventies, who was
known to have committeed nine murders,
and against whom a host of crimes never
actually proved were charged.
His mummified head is a ghastly specta
cle. It is shriveled and desiccated, but
the contour of face and features is fairly
preserved, and the Mexican type of physi
ognomy is still plainly visible. One side
of the head had been scalped. Ou the
oilier there is a shock of black hair firmly
attached to the sunken parchment-like
covering of the skull. The teeth are all
present, and the nose still retains its prop
er shape.
The head has been at the stable for three
days. It was brought up from Arizona by
a party of surveyors who had been at work
surveying a new line a few miles ont of
Tucson which would place the Southern
Pacifi ) tracks out of danger of washouts
for a mile or two where cloudbursts have
been frequent
Charles Robinson of Oakland claims the
head. He dug it up at Tucson and carried
it to the surveyors’ camp and finally
brought it here.
Geronimo proved sucn a source of terror
to Arizona that the territorial authorities
offered a heavy reward for his captnre,
dead or alive.
A man named Gray and a companion
for months sought to capture him. Final
ly one day Gray killed the bandit. There
was some question as to the identification,
and Gray kept the body preserved in ice for
a long period.The Arizona authorities were
slow about paying. Under one pretext or
another the payment was postoned. Mean
time Gray cut off the head with an old sa
ber and preserved it in alcohol.
Wearying of attempting to get the re
ward one a ay he took a scalp lock from
the side of the head and bnried the head
in the sand near Tucson. In all Gray is
said to have spent about $300 in a vain at
tempt to secure the territorial reward af
ter he had Milled the bandit. The saber
with which the head was cut from the
body was also secured by Robinson and is
also at the stables.—San Francisco Chron
icle.
The Hairs in a Man’s Head.
The Western congressman who
offered to bet as many dollars as there
were hairs on his head that the Sher
man act would not be repealed must
have been bald-headed or he underes
timated the magnitude of his wager.
Dr. Wilson, a well known English au
thority, says that the average number
of hairs to the square inch on a hu
man scalp is about 1,000, and the whole
number of bairs on the scalp of an
adult is in the neighborhood of 120,-
000.
Dr. Waldeyer asserts that he count
ed, in the space of a quarter of an inch
on a crown of a man’s head, 293 hairs,
while he counted only 225 in the same
space on the occiput and 211 on the
anterior part of the scalp.
There is a great difference in num
bers, according to the diameter of the
hairs.
The finest hairs on Anglo-Saxon
beads measure from a five-hundredth
to a fifteen-hundredth of an inch in
diameter, while the coarsest range
from a hundred-and-fortiefn to five-
hundredth of an inch.—N. Y. Herald.
Shawmnt, a peninsula with three hills,
which caused it to be called “Tri-moun
tain,” on which Boston was built, was dis
covered by the PiJgrin^s in 1621 A boat
with 10 men was sent to explore Massachu
setts Bay. Towards the south they saw
the bine hills from which the Indian name
Massachusetts was derived. Two cr three
rivers entered the bay, and peninsulas
jutted into it; and so attractive were its
shores that the Pilgrims regretted they
had not seated themselves there. When
Winthrop and a large colony oame (1630)
they landed at Salem, and some of them
settled at Charlestown Sickness pre
vailed among them. Observing a fine
spring of water on Shawmnt, and believing
its high ground to be more healthy than at
Charlestown, Winthrop settled there and
founded Boston.