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She ttteckh) Constitutionalist.
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Mystic Writing.
v [“ In these crypts we found many parch
ments, dry, shrivelled and apparently unwrit
ten. A sponge wet with dilute acid, passed
over their surface, brought out beautifully il
luminated writings, clear and fresh as when
first penned. After a moment’s exposure to
the air these faded and could not be reproduced
in any manner; but any other characters traced
uron the clean surface stood black and indeli
ble.'’ —Middle Aye Monasteries.
In a dim monastic ruin
Whence I sought memorials old,
From a marble vault belore me
Many shrivelled parchments roiled,
O’er their fresh unsullied surface,
Yielding ’neath the cunning quill,
Quaint and bright illumined letters
Erst had traced their lines at will;
And full many a throbbing temple,
Sorrow-seared and restless brain,
Shed the precious drops ol wisdom,
Thought-distilled in prayer and pain.
In these crypts to-day we find them,
Messages from days of yore
With the dust of buried ages »
Cumulate in every pore
And with bated breath unrolling,
Show them empty to the sight,
Till the life-renewing acid
Sudden floods them o’er with light.
Once again,—more bright and vivid
Than when traced by hands long dead—
Quaint and bright illumined letters
O’er the empty surface spread
For a moment, teaching nothing,
Then, for evermore, they die
While new letters traced upon it
Living stand, indelibly.
O’er that surface-fadeless ever—
Write I now, with humbled mind.
Words that closely unto reason
Mystery and marvel blind
Thanks 1 thou venerable scroll,
Dying gift of monish art.
For the lesson thou cans’t teach us
Os the mystic human heart
On its surface—yielding early
To each impress soft and light
shifting images of beanty
Leave their gnarled tracery bright,
Bat the dost of hourly ages,
Sifting on them, day by day,
Wears each quaint and brilliant tracing
From the surface soft away.
Hid mid echo-haunted arches,
Memory’s crypts, these symbols lie,
Till a deep and real emotion
Stirs them.ii> its passing by.
Clear and empty tho’ the surface
To the sight unaided shows,
’Neath it still—a latent net work—
Bright illumed tracery glows!
Who may read it ? Who unravel
Every gnarled and tangled thread,
In those hidden crypts deep buried
’Neath a surface dry and dead ?
Yet, if Sorrow’s mystic mordant—
Aqid essence of the reel —
O’er each tided tracery sprinkling.
Memory’s hand shall gently steal—
Lo 1 upon each vacant leaflet,
Soiled and duety late to view,
LambeA fines of mystic writing
Shed illumined light anew 1
But how soon these freshened symbols,
Memory’s etchings on the past,
Fade away and die forever—
Thougb-epbemera at last!
Firmer, purer then the heart is
Than in hot, unseasoned youth :
On its tablets, Love or Manhood 1
Write undying words of truth 1
The Three Chairs.
They sat alone by the bright wood fire,
The gray haired dame and aged sire,
Dreaming of days gone by;
The tear drops fell on each wrinkled cheek,
They both had thoughts they could not speak,
And each heart uttered a sigh—
For their Bad and tearlul eyes descried
Three little chairs placed side by side
Against the sitting-room wall;
Old-fashioned enough as there they stood,
Their seats of flag and their frames of wood,
With their backs so straight and tall.
Then the sire shook his silvery head,
And with trembling voi-e he gently said :
“ Mo.her, these empty chairs !
They bring us such sad, sad thoughts to-night,
We’ll put tliem forever out of sight,
In the small, dark room up stairs !”
But 6he answered : “ Father, not yet;
For I look At them, and I forget
That the children were away.
The boys come back, an t Mary, too.
With her apron ©u, of checked blue,
And sit here every day.
« Johnny comes back from the billows deep,
Willie wakes from his battle field s’eep,
To say good-night to me;
Mary’s a wile and a mother no more,
But a tired child whose play-time is o’er,
And comes to rest at my knee.
« go let them stand there, though empty pow,
And every time when alone we bow
At the Father’s throne to pray,
We’ll ask to meet the children above,
In our Bavionr’s home of rest and love.
Where no child goeth away.”
Will o' the Witj> gives the following picture
of Europe :
Knssia covets,
Turkey fears;
Austria ponders,
Italia cheers.
Belgium— Holland,
Wait in dread;
Denmark’s palsied,
Spain is dead.
France lies bleeding,
Prussia soars;
Biitania shuts her eyes
And —mores!!
A Sigh.
It was nothing hut a rose 1 gave her,
Nothing but a rose,
Any wind might rob of its savor,
Any wind that blows.
When she took It from my trembling finger;
With a hand to chill—
Ah, the flying touch upon them lirgtri,
Stays, and thrills them atlll!
Withered, faded, pie*»e. the pages,
Crumpled fold on fold—
Ooe# It lay open hraast, and age
Cannot make It old I
«—ii —"■■in ■
iMMi“iuxT*.-' < >ne hundred and fifty
Immigrant* passed through Lynch
burg, Vw , on Fridayi J9lli Inst., oil thu way
to water Valley. Mississippi. It In hM
fl 009 more at'” pooled from Hwltrarlaiid
within the nest three mouth*, all of whom
design locating at WaUr Valley
The Davenport Brothers and Other
Charlatans Exposed.
Dr. E. V. Wright, of Pennsylvania, gave
an exhibition in Baltimore the other day,
during which the performances of the
Davenport Brothers and other humbugs
were unmasked. We quote from the Sun
of the 23d:
Dr. Wright, it Is known, traveled with
the youth Gunnell, who exhibited his
tricks in Baltimore and in many other
cities, where, by dexterity and cleverness,
he established himself firmly as a tip-top
medium. In addition, the Doctor stated
that he had closely followed np the Daven
ports, Read and others, until he, a believer
in them at first, became “convinced that
they enjoyed the help of SDirits to perform
their petty little tricks of tying and un
tying cords, &c. He acknowledged that
he had been somewhat mystified by some
of the so-called “ physical phenomena ” of
spiritualism he had witnessed, but he felt
able now to convince his hearers that most
all these seeming wonders are the works of
the mediums themselves, and not of spirits.
He did not wish to be understood as trying
to throw obloquy upon' ffie honest belief in
spiritualism of any man present, but to
show that the tricks of the cheats who had
set themselves np as mediums were hollow
artifices and delusive, »whlch every man
owed it to himself to discountenance. In
doing this he did not attempt to discuss
one single thought or idea in connection
with the morality of spiritualism, or the
merits of psychological investigations,
although it was inferred from the tone of
his remarks that he is a believer to some
extent in spiritualism. His object through
out appeared to be the defense of this incor
poreal belief from the taint of the charla
tans. To do this he proceeded to unmask
their tricks, having first extemporized a
screen by hanging an old shawl upon three
chairs mounted on top of a piano. A table
was placed near, furnished with ropes and
cords for tying, and iron rings large enongh
to slip easily on a man’s arm over the coat
sleeve.
Dr. Wright himself sat on a dais very
slightly elevated above the floor, sur
rounded by the company, very comforta
bly and socially. The tricks of Frank
Gnnnell were first exposed. Dr. Wright
said the performances of this youth have
been more astonishing here and in Wash
ington than those of any other p rson, and
his trick of the tied thumbs was consider
ed specially wonderful and impressive
with Bpirltnalists. A gentleman who had
never seen the thumbs tied was called upon
to do that work for Dr. Wright, and Mr.
John Fox was named by the spectators.
Mr. J. H. Weaver and Rev. L. M. Forbes
served as superintendents to see that it
was well done. They had seen all things
of this kind before, and were no to snuff on
the matter. Everybody saw the thumbs
securely tied with a small cord drawn
around each thumb, and then over be
tween them, the ends looped and tied to
the little finger of one of the hands. Dr.
Wright darted behind his screen and in
stantly back again with two iron rings on
his arms, which, apparently, could not
have gotten there unless the thumbs
had been released, but he showed them
both bound together as fast as at
first. He then turned his back to the au
dience, and in the time it took to wheel
about had the rings spinning on the floor,
the thumbs being again exhibited as tight
ly tied together as ever. Exposition : Slip
one thumb out of its loop by enlarging the
other loop with all the slack of the first.
This was demonstrated to be practicable,
and the trick was done openly, to the sat
isfaction of everybody.
It was explained that the ends of the
cord used for binding the thumbs were tied
to the little finger to secure leverage. Any
body seeing the trick done once could do it
without paying fifty cents to be humbugged
by spirits. All that is necessary is to get
one thumb oat, and then you can take your
coat off or vary the performance by a va
riety of acts, all of which look wonderful;
then put the thumb back into the loop, and
rush out on the stage with a wild look, as
though you had seen your grandmother’s
ghost, and receive the applause of the spec
tators.
Dr. Wright was then tied with a rope
ala Charles Reed—that is, both wrists
were bound by what is known as the Har
vard tie, so as to give a double loop to each
wrist, the end of the rope being tied to the
rouud of the chair. The tying was in
spected and pronounced satisfactory. Ii
seemed impossible that any one could get
out of that scrape. The lights were put
out, and when, restored, lo the captive was
unbound! It took him longer than it should
have done to release himself, but that was
afterwards explained, the cause being the
extreme tightness of the binding.
Dr. Wright was understood to say that
he could bind a man so securely that not
even the most adventurous spirits would
attempt to unbind without using their
teeth In these Illustrations he exposed
only the tricks of the people he had seen
and their manner of doing them, while
claiming supernatural agencies in the work.
Next he took off his coat, which was
sent by a kick out among the spectators
iust as the gas was lit, and the doctor sat
in hi 9 shirt sleeves, bound as securely as
ever-'the lights were pot out once more,
and afterwards a tumbler of water which
had before been sitting near by on a table
was revealed upon the head ol the demon
strator. “Spirits put it there,” say the
charlatans. “I put it there, ’’ says Dr.
Wright.
Numerous other illustrations were given
with the hands bound ■ nd tied down to the
chair in this way, and finally the exposition,
nenrlv in the same terms as in the case of
the thumb*. All the slack of the binding
of onewrlat is added t. that of the other ■
so as to permit of the withdrawal of one
hand That being achieved, everythin::
else is as easv as eating; but In order to
accomplish this feat the ends of the rope
must lie tied to the legs or rounds, so as
to afford the necessary leverage.
If the spirits really untied the hands It
would not be necessary to seeure the ends
of the rope In this way, a thing always In
•Utcd upon by the pretended medium**,
under pretense of securing themselves more
tlghtfy than If the hand* were Umplybound
and sufftred to rest on tho lap. Hr. Wright
drawn ami re|HaMd a* ensile a. natUM
on and "IT all old U>lf gloves, by MOB*
..inlzltig the and 'll* Isveraa*
I atbrdsa by tying ib« rope «Bdl U» U* chair
i found*.
AUGUbFA, GA., WEDNESDAY MOKNING, ftS¥i3MDfifl WTIB7O.
The Emmerson trick was next exposed.
The Doctor retired behind his screen, tied
himself up with a whole clothes line, tied
his legs, tied his hands, tied his body to a
chair so that he could do nothing but sit,
and then called for someone to help him
on the stage. The key to the trick was in
the wrists and the slack, the same principle
as before illustrated, the legs drawn up or
stretched out, affording more or less lever
age, and making the wrist loops appear
mo; e or less tightly drawn.
These principles underlie the Davenport
brothers’ tricks in the cabinet; they under
lie the guitar and music in the air business.
In all cases the medium frees himself, and
then he can perform any trick on the stage
The guitar, daubed with phosphorus, is
sent flying about over the heads of the
audience, and drawn back to the medium
by an elastic cord, like a boy’s return ball;
the position of his feet, marked on paper to
detect any movement, is assured by the use
of a little paste on the soles of his shoes.—
The lecturer, in conclusion, showed up the
whole medium business as a humbug of
the first water, and entertained the com
pany gathered to see his illustrations for
over three hours, and finally sent them
away well pleased with the entertainment,
except a few who still shook their wise
heads and doubted.
Confessions of a Patent Medicine Man.
From Ralph Keeler’s “Confessions of a
Patent Medicine Man,” in the December
number of the Atlantic Monthly, we mane
this extract:
My corn salve was made of potash and
gmn arabic. It would do its work in five
minutes, but of course it made the foot out
rageously sore afterward. This was a mat
ter of very little inconvenience to me, be
cause my business required me to be mov
ing continually from place to place. I al
ways managed to get out of town on the
flood tide of my reputation as an effective
chiropodist. It will be easily believed that
I did not acquire my skill and self-reliance
as an operator all at once. My corn salve
giew in my confidence from the feet it fed
on. Yon think that is a queer expression ?
Yon cannot, then, be aware of the corrosive
nature of potash. Well, sir, experience and
special knowledge are everything in one’s
business. I will confess that I was nervous
before my first patient. The salve had
never been tried, and a friend told me I had
better not try it. But my subject was a
good one, and rather an anomaly, too, in
life. I think yon hardly ever heard before
of a poor shoemaker with corns. That de
scribes my first patient. I mustered np
conrage at last, and flourished an old razor
at him with quite a professional air for a
youth of sixteen. The job was not as neat
a one as I learned to do afterward, bat stilt
it gave temporary satisfaction ; and I sold
that shoemaker two boxes of «»« salve.
Analhns I went about over a wide ex
tent of territory, leaving I know not what
number of sore feet behind me. I have no
better idea how much more pedal distress
I might have worked on a credulous com
munity had It not been for an acclden*
which, at the end of a couple of years, over
took me in my career. I had left a great
quantity of my salve and lozenges stowed
away in a town which I was then making
my headquarters. They were carefully
packed, I remember, in neat paper boxes.
On my return, after an unusually long trip,
I found that the infernal potash had eaten
up the paper boxes, and, making its devour
ing way to my congh-lozenges, had involved
ray whole stock in one agglomerate mass of
ruin.
Out of mv temporary despair.,however,
sprang a lucky Inspiration. You have
doubtless heard much of the happy elas
ticity of youth. There is, I grant, some
thing available in that, but I found some
thing a great deal better for my business
in the rapid growth and physical changes
of that period of my life. Tfie fact is, 1
had grown and altered so in appearance
since 1 had first started out with my corn
salve that at the time of this appalling ac
cident no one of my first patients would
have recognized me from a mere surgical
acquaintance of two years before. 1 may
say here, in fact, that these repeated
changes in my physical appearance, aided
by the cropping of my hair, or the aban
doning of it to excessive length, and at
last by the coming of my beard, were all
through my early experiences of untold ad
vantage to me. Thus, in the course of
time, 1 became personally acquainted with
all the people who could be duped in a
given region of country, and with every
new project or nos! rum I returned unre
cognized to them over and over ago. Now,
out of the potashes of the agglomerate ruin
of my entire stock in trade sprang, Phoenix
like, a lucky inspiration, as I have before
said, without the present indifferent joke,
which is altogether accidental. While
contemplating my irrevocable loss, I con
ceived the Idea of a patent pain killer,
which I would go about selling to cure the
sores left by my corn salve.
Asa general thing, money, or I should
say, the want of it, gets the immortal work
out of first-class brains. I read the sub
stance of that remark in a newspaper; or
was it a magazine? It doesn’t matter; I
believe it, and I verified it in the produc
tion of that pain killer; that’s enough.—
Well, sir, the project worked to a charm. I
commenced operations, of course, in almost
the exact traces of my former chiropodal
exploits. It was not long, therefore, till I
came upon my first patient, the shoemaker.
I cautiously to extol the stomachic
virtues of my medicine, and gradually led
up to its external application. It was good, j
I assured him, for bruises, sprains—still |
keeping mv eye stealthily on his, from under;
my hat, to catch any faint gleam of recogni-.
tion—bruises, sprains, wounds, sores—
“On the feet?” asked he, interrupting me :
•in mv catalogue of positive cures.
“Certainly; better for the feet than tor'
a °“ Welf fhavc sore feet, and that’s the I
fact" said the shoemaker. “ You see I
there was a rogue of a fellow around here,
a couple of yeirs ago, curing earns, am |
he made my feet so— ls I ever catch the
villain I’ll use a Mtrap on h’.m ; that * wuat
1! I now felt sure, I need scarcely add, that
my former patient did not recognize me,
and so I sold him two bottle, of pain killer
to core tho sores l had made two vtaia
I k’lt'wa* not, perhaps, a remarkable fact
that my p»ln killer went f..at.j r than my
pain maker, thsorn salve. I did a thriv
Ina business in lUls-sp thriving, l»d«d,
, that l giadually * "ft*
I with lh* Intervening time between the MM
of the latter and former articles. That is,
my earlier traces became so recent that my
disguise grew perilous. But there was
such a demand for the pain killer that I
went on, notwithstanding the danger. One
day, however, I encountered a Bturdy
young fellow, upon whose feet I had ope
rated not very long before. In his eager
ness for relief, he was In the act of pur
chasing it at my hands, when, suddenly
recognizing me, he changed his mind, and
gave me a sound thrashing instead.
That put an end to the pain killer busi
ness. I returned considerably bru'sed to
my headquarters, and set all my energies
to work on the invention of something less
perilous to others as well as myseif. I
may say here that I always kept the little
town which I have called my headquarters
open to me as an asylum, by leaving it and
its immediate neighborhood free from all
my medical and surgical experiments. The
result of mv arduous creative thought cul
minated this time in a paste to make old
razor strops new. It professed to do its re
juvenating work by a simple application ;
yet it did not sell very well. From the
very nature of things, I did not have the
credulous woman-half of the world to
work upon; they had little or no interest
in superanuated razor strops. It was this
consideration more than any other, I think,
which inspired me with the brilliant after
thought of changing the name of my paste
to that of a healing salve. Thus the same
article became at once endowed with uni
versal curative virtues, and became also
the professed desideratum of all human na
ture. I suppose it would not be modest in
me to say that my salve was too good for
its original purpose. It is at least true
that, if it failed upon razor strops, it suc
ceeded admirably upon mankind. You
will hardly believe me when I tell yon,
but still it is also true, that by means of
an incipient beard and my hair grown
long, and of a broad-brimmed slouch hat
as a disguise, I sold a box of my celebrated
healing salve to that same Innocent shoe
maker who has already twice figured as
my customer. Owing to my pain killer,
or the recuperative nature of his healthy
frame, his feet were about well; and lam
glad to add that there was nothing in my
healing salve that would materially pre
vent his ultimate recovery.
[From tho Missouri Republican.
The British Commander in Chief.
Lieutenant General Robert Napier, Lord
Napier of Magdala, who has been appointed
commander-ln-chlef of the British army,
was born on the Island of Ceylon In 1810,
and educated at the military college of
Addiscombe, England. He entered the
corps of Bengrl engineers in 1886, served
with distinction through the Sntlej cam
paign, and having attained the rank of
La wrooco to the responsible post or engi
neer to the Durbar of Lahore. He was
thus enabled to acquire that particular
kno a ledge of ‘he Punjauband its resources
so essential to the development of the lat
ter should the current of events necessitate
such an undertaking by the Indian govern
ment. He was constantly referred to when
Moolraj rebelled, an all questions connected
with the reduction of Mooltan, at the siege
of which he was present as senior engineer.
At the fall of that place, he accompanied
General Wish’s force to the fords of the
Chenaub, where, after a junction with the
main army under Lord Gough, he served
as one of Sir John Cheape’s “ right hand
men” at the battle of Goojerat. He was
promoted to the rank of colonel, and made
chief engineer under the new Punjiub ad
ministration. This position enabled him
to carry out his long-cherished plans for
converlng that almost trackless country
with arteries of military and commer
cial highways; also to construct a
system of canals intended to fertilize
the arid Dooab, and eventually to
erect numerous public buildings, barracks,
&c., requisite to the efficient administra
liop of the province. lie was engaged In
the discharge of those duties for several
years, until summoned to Calcutta as Chief
Engineer of B ngal. During the great
mutiny of 1857, he served anvChief Engineer
on the staff of Sir Colin Campbell, and the
part he played in the suppression of the
rebellion added much to his reputation. It
was he who, -t the siege of Lucknow,
planne 1 the bridging of the Goomtee river,
which contributed largely to the overthrow
of the enemy. He served under Sir Hugh
Rose in the campaign against the Tantla
Topee rebels, and afterward in China as
second in command, under Sir Hope Grant.
For his services in the latter capacity he
was made a Major Getferal and K. C. B,
aud appointed successor of the late Sir
James Outran), as military member of the
Conncil of India. He resigned this post In
1865, when he was nominated to succeed
Sir W. Mansfield, as Commander-in-Chti f
at Bombay, with the local rank of L'eu ten
ant General. In 1869 he commanded the
exp dltlon to rescue the Abyssinian cap
tives, and for his decisive success in the
campaign which followed, was elevated to
the peerage as Lord Napier of Magdala.
Bankrupt Peeks. —The English jour
nals are commenting upon the fact that four
Peers of Parliament—to wit: the Duke of
Newcastle, the Earl of Westmoreland, the
Earl of Winchelsea and Baron De Mauley
—are all wiping out their debts by taking
advantage of the bankrupt 1 iw. This Sum
mer the House of Lords decided that a Peer,
when Insolvent, could b: forced to pay his
debts by the process of bankruptcy, and the
impatient creditors of extravagant noble
men have commenced proceedings against
their reckless debtors. The amount of the
pecuniary obligations of these spendthrift
Peers is not stated, but it appears that the
debts of Baron Da Mau'ey reach the sum of
$1,000,000, and the liabilities of the Duke
of Newcastle to $650,000, with an offer of
paying twenty-five per cent, for a release In
Anil. The unfortunate position of these
Peers has raised the qaestlon whether bank
rupts should remain members of the House
of Lords and judicial members of the
Supreme Court of Appeal of Great Britain.
A Youro Hespekaiio.— The New York
papers report the case of a yon h named
Thomas Porter, aged 16, who was arrested
In that city on Thursday last, charged
with shooting, on the 9th of July last,
Henry JeolZ, keeper of a liter beer siloon
on Tenth avenue. Porter, during the past
month, iiat ait muted to murder no less
than seven persona. H<> was committed
I Air trial*
Hints to Farmers.
BY THE “FAT CONTRIBUTOR.”
Now that Winter is approaching, it
would perhaps be as well to discontinue
having, and turn your attention to getting
in your saw-logs. No farmer can consider
his Fall work complete until he has his
cellar well supplied with saw-logs. Seated
around the blazing hearth of a Winter’s
night, there is no fruit more delicious. A
correspondent asks us what we think of
late plowing. Plowing should not be con
tinued later than 10 or 11 o’clock at night.
It gets the horses in the habit of staying
out late, and nnduly exposes the plow.—
We have known plows to acquire string
halt and inflammatory rheumatism from
late plowing. Don’t do it. To another
correspondent who wants us to suggest a
good drain on a farm, we would say a
heavy mortgage at ten per cent, will drain
it about as rapidly as anything we know
of.
When you make cider select nothing but
the soundest turnips, chopping them into
sled length before cradling them. In boil
ing your cider use p’enty of ice, and when
boiling hang it up in the sun to dry. A
pick-axe should never be used in picking
apples. It has a tendency to break down
the vines and damage the hive.
In sowing your Winter applejack a
horse-rake wtll be found preferable to a
step-ladder. (Step-ladders are liable to
freeze up, and are hardly palatable unless
boiled with sugar.
In cutting down hemlock trees for can
ning select only the largest. Don’t
throw away the chips, as they make fine
parlor ornaments, encased in rustic frames
of salt and vinegar.
The coming cold weather should suggest
to the humane farmer the necessity for a
good cow-shed. The following is a receipt
for making a good cow-shed: Pour a pail
ful of boiling water on her back, and if
that don’t make a good cow-shed—her hair,
we are no prophet to anybody. Now is the
time for planting your winter hay. The
pink-eyed Southdown is probably- the best
variety, as it don’t need poling and begins
to lay early.
Starvation in Paris—Eating a Me
nagerie.—No more startling presage of
the famine which threatens Paris could be
furnished than the London telegram of the
12tb, which announced that the Parisians
began on the 7th instant to slaughter and
eat the flesh of the different animals In the
Jardln des Plantes. It was added that "the
meat rates high in the market. Yak sold
at thirty francs per pound. The monkeys
were to be killed and eaten during the next
ensuing week.” Long before the war, sci
entific men In Paris had partially succeeded
in popularizing horse meat as an article of
lng yak, or anything else to be found at
Paris only in fcbt menagerie of the Jardln
des Plantes. This menagerie is Indeed
abundantly supplied with animals. It is
one of the most extensive in the world.
Established in 1794, it has become an im
portant addition to the attractions of the
Garden, which Itself dates from the reign
of Louis XIII. The various compartments
of the menagerie are enclosed by Iron rail
ings. Noah’s ark could not have been
more crowded with ani nal and reptile life.
Here are all kinds of poultry, geese and
swans -, crocodiles, alligators, lizards, boa
constrictors, buffaloes, lions, bears, ele
phants, camels, camelopards, hy«n«e, pan
thers, Bencal tigers and innumerable mon
keys. In the good old days of peace the
visitor was directed to apply to M. le Di
recteur du Jardin des Plantes for a ticket
to witness the feeding of the animals ; but
now that dire war lias induced the Paris
ians to feed upon them, a differently word
ed ticket will be required. No doubt
Parisian cookery will b • equal to the emer
trcucie*. but the Parisian restaurants will
new! new and strange bills of fare.
\Neio York Herald.
Divorce Day.—The Bth of November
was a memorable day in the Cincinnati
courts—it was “ Divorce Day.” The scene
Is thus described:
In the Common Pleas Court, on Tues
day, the divorce docke*, comprising up
wards of sixty cases, was called. At 9
o’clock the court room was nearly filled
with women of various degrees of social
position, of ail ages and nations, except
the " heathen Chinee,” seeking judicial re
lief for their many grievances—neglect,
desertion, cruelty and infidelity being
among ttie principal charges made by the
“ better halves” against their lords.
The nnraber present was swelled enor
mously by the (act that every woman who
had filed a petition brought on an average
three of her sex along for witnesses. Many,
too, brought their babies along, furnishing
the music for the occasion gratis. In a
few cases th3 husbands were plaintiffs. It
appeared to be a general reckoning day all
round for the violators of the matrimonial
contract. The only cases called were
those in which no answers had been filed
to the petitions, leaving the Immense ma
jority of case to be hereafter disposed of.
Under the French Empire the Zouaves
were the idols of the army and the people,
but the Breton Mobiles have taken their
place in the popular esteem under the Re
public, and are cow regarded as the “ crack”
corps. They are at present stationed in
large numbers outside the walls of Paris,
and it is sahl that they entertain the most
profound contempt for the 300, GOO National
Guards wl'hln the capit.il, whoareexposed
to no actual danger, but live in compara
tive comfort, instead of “ roughing it” under
Prussian fire every day. These Mobiles
are brave religious peasants from Brittany,
who fight for France, but at heart dislike
the present Par s Government.
Jim Fisk propose* to appear In anew
role next season, as manager of a profess
ional base ball nine, with which be is going
to “ knock spots" oat of the Mutuals and
other big clubs.
In the United Htate* Just now there ere
27 young women studying theo'ogy. with
a view to becoming preachers; 19 are
studying law, and 07 are studying medi
cine.
The German organ at tho Free Masons,
thu Hunhutte, states that the collections of
the English lodges for the families of 44er-1
man soldiers lo lit© field have reached |
$1150,000. |
VOL. 29. NO^
[From the Buffalo Express
A Humorous View oMhe Fanners’ Chib.
MARK TWAIN'S RETORT OF THE PROCEED
INGS.
Ex-Constable Quinn desired the Club to
inform him how to make hogs root. --
Dr. Slow had been a practical farmer for
the last six weeks, and in all the varied
agricultural experience no such article as
hog’s-root had ever come under his notice.
What was it? Was it edible ? Was
useful in any way, or was it, as he more
than suspected, another worthless humbug
devised by the sharpers to defraud us prac
tical farmers ? He knew not whether it was
propagated by seeds or by cuttings, but he
would advise Mr. Quinn to be shy of hog’s
root, especially if it was a new-fanglcff or
high-priced tuber.
Mr. Maker, the agricultural writer, ex
plained the anatomy of the hog’s proboscis.
It is designed ‘for subterranean .foraging,
by a process vulgarly called rooting, to
which Mr. Quinn’s inquiry probably re
ferred. Being a delicate organ, It Is liable
to Injury. He would recommend that'Mr.
Quinn wipe bis hog’s nose. If he finds it
red, he may be sure it is tender and needs
protection by a metallic shield. Some' re
sort t > the strategic' device of inserting a
wire ring In the hou’s nose, in his efforts fw
remove which he would naturally thrust
his snout iii-p the soil, apd thus root uu
wittiugiy. That was pDying it rather low.
on the hog, and the metallic shield was
preferable on the score of fair dealing and
philanthropy.
Mr. Greeley exhibited a pumpkin of tus
own raising. As it embodied his solitary
and crowing success, after several years df
discouraging failure in pumpkin culture,
the club surrounded it with uncovered
heads and mfngled emotions of sorprlse,
admiration and envy. It was a superb
fruit, and when Mr. G.*9 hat was placed On
it, to illustrate Its size and symmetry, the
hat and pumpkin seemed sb perfectly
adapted to each other, and together pro
duced an effect so startling, that several
enthusiastic members swore they would
have known who raised that putopkM if
they bad seen it anywhere. It Is to be
pnotograpbed by Gurney, and next year’s
Tribune subscribers will receive copies.
The pumpkin was the flattering product 'Of
one bushel of seed planted on the farm in
Champagne. Soon after blossoming the
vine manifested, an inclination to wither.
It was thereupon transplanted to a large
flower pot and removed to the town resi
dence of its founder. For some time it
pined and drooped, and they sat up nights •
with it, expecting that every moment
would be its last, but every moment turn
ed dpt not to be its last, and with careful
finally rallied and came up to 1
maturity, as cherished and tough a pump
kin as ever grew.
oix.iiNHaticiß hUfKßcßMfti umii —vynj —r
suit of Mr. G.’s indomitable struggle with
this pumpkin showed how every city family
could provide Itself With papipklo pie. He
hoped to see the day when every window
sill in every city would be adorned with
fructifying pumpkin pots, and every work
man's cottage embowered in pumpkin
vines.
Thos Do-ld, of New Hampshire, writes
to the club that he is fifty years old, infirm
with consumption, has a large family, ten
dollars in money, and wants to know what
to do.
Mr. Mocker—Go out to Greeley Colony
and Invest In our irrigating ditch.
Mr. Layman—Buy a, Texas ranche or a
Florida orau-.c g*ove.
Dr. Slimble—His health requires light
farming in a bracing climate. Let him start
an Indlaro plantation in Alaska.
Mr. Greeley— He mustn’t come to New
York. His $lO wouldn’t last a year ; but
out West he can Invest it and grow up
with the country. If I had gone West
with $lO at Ms age, I should be a happy
man now, with two salts Os respectable
garments, an < fflee, and a conscience guilt
less of distracting tariff and farming essays.
Mr. Herrings Invited the club to visit
his farm, 80 miles up the river, - next
Wednesday, and inspect a horse radish
that he had persuaded to vegetate. The
ground was tilled, suhsoiled and top-dress
ed. He had expended upon that plant
only half a ton of bone dust, one cart load
of ashes and a barrel of guano; yet, in
spite of his neglect, It had within a year
grown to the size of his little finger. His
foreman would explain to the clerk the
peculiar difficulty In raising this rare ex
otic. He would treat the club to a regular
farmer’s dinner, the materials for which he
had already engaged at the city markets.
The club accepted and adjourned.
Another Dodge of th® Whisky Ring.
—A Western paper gives currency to
a report that the “ whisky ring ” will
combine this Winter to induce Congress to
raise the tax from 50 cents to $1 per gal
lon. The stills have been kept running
constantly for months, and there is an im
mense stock on hand, on which the profit
would be enormous if the tax was increased.
When will the country be relieved of the
operations of the mammoth combination
known as the “ whisky ring ?"
Beet Sugar.—The New York Tribune
has an article on “ the successful culture of
beet sugar,” from which we learn that the
first yield of sugar (from Chatworth.Uls.J
has been placed upon the Chicago market,
without brand, that it might thus secure an
Impartial test. It was pronounced by the
best experts of the city A 1 New York
sugar, and readily brought the price of that
article.
An Ohio man dreamed that he was coon
hunting aud didn’t wake up until he had
broken the baby’s head with a bed post.
Several wagons filled with emigrants
from North Caroliua, en route to Texas,
passed through Knoxville on the 4tb In
stant.
A New England court decision goes to
show that a bummer Is a man who will not
pay bis taxes, aud stands on the sidewalk
aud spits.
The Boston Poll wants Greeley to rent
the Mammoth Cave. “By subsoil plowing
It might bo made a fine opening lor straw
berries.”
" What I tlnay again?” said a wife to her
husband. “No, my dear,” said he, “not
tljNiy, but a little slippery. Tho diet Is,
somebody has been rubbing my boots till
they are as smooth as glass.” •,».
Mr. Leonard Greer, an aged ol thorn of
Mouroe county, died on Wednesday,