Newspaper Page Text
BY J. P. SAWTELL.
E. H. PURDY,
' rv Mfamfacturer of r,
Mies, Harness and Tranks,
And Wholesale aad Retail Dealer in
All kind* pf Sadiary Ware,
, Corner of Whitaker and Bsat> St*., J*y
SAVANNAH, GA.
py Orders for Rubber Belting, Hose and
Woking; also, Stretched Leather Belting,
•ailed promptly. Sepl7-6w
j. shilmahtin. aohn flannxry.
L i. GUILMARTIN & CO.,
Cotton Factors,
AS D
General Commission Merchants,
Bay St., Savannah, Ga.
Yarn* and Domestics, etc.
■Bagging, Rope awi Iron Ties, al
ways on Vsttd. J 3H T i
.’yy Usual facilities Extended to Customers.
sepl7-f>m
ft, J. MILLER & CO.,
FURNITURE DEALERS,
150 Broughton Street,
SAVANNAH, GEORGIA.
' ■ ■ • •• ■ i’j
WE HAVE ON HAND, ’hud are con
tinually receiving, eve»y variety of
Parlor and Bedroom Sets,
Bureaus, .Waslislaiids. Bedsteads, -Chairs,
Rockers, Wardrobes Meat Safes, Cradles,
Looking (Jtarges, Feathers, Featherbeds, Pil
lows. etc.
Hair. Moss, Shuck and Exce»c4or Matrasses
on hand, and made to order.
Jobbing and Repairing neatly dote, and;
with despatch.
We are fully prepared to fill orders.
Country orders promptly attended to.
All letters-of inquiry answered promptly.
<sepk7-6m.
MARIETTA MARBLE YARD.
J AM PREPARED TO FURNISH
Marble, Monuments,
Tombs, Head and Foot Stones,
Vaces, Urns, Vaults, etc.,
At very reasonable terms , made oj
Italian, American and Georgia
MARBLE.
IRON RAILING Rut Up to Order.
For Information or designs address me at
this place, or
DR. T. S. POWELL, A*ent.
Cuthbert,'Ga
Address,
J. A. BISAYER,
sepl7-6m Marietta, 6a.
GEORGE S. HART L CO.,
Commission lerchants,
And Wholesale Dealers iu
Fine Butter, Cheese, Lard, etc.,
39 Pearl and 28 Bridge Sts.. N. Y.
Batter and Lard, of all grades, pat up
in every variety ot package, for Shipment to
"arm Climates. sepl'-fiin*
; REED S CLARKE,
No. 22, Old Slip, New York,
DEALERS IN
PROVISIONS,
Onions, Potatoes, Butter, etc.
mm ~’ f~f mm ~ '
ELY, OBERHOLSTER dt CO.,
Importers and Jobbers in
Dry Goods,
Mos. 329 <6 331 Broadway,
Corner of Worth Street.
sepls-6m J¥ew York.
mmm
cgJWvTER WHEEL,
Mill Gearing,Shafting Pulleys
Toole $
FORA CIRCULARISE
Tgeorge page & CO.
iVo. 5 iV. Schroeder St., Baltimore.
Manufacturers of
PORTABLE AND STATIONARY
Steam Engines and Boilers
PATENT IMPROVED PORTABLE
Circular Saw ]Hiii
Gang, Malay and Sash Saw Mills ,
Grist Mill* Timber Wheels, Shingle Ma
chines, &e. Dealers tn Circular Saws, Belt
ingand Mill supplies generally, and manufac
turer's gents for Leffol’s Celebrated Turhine
Water Wheel and every description of Wood
Working Machinery. Agricultural Engines
a Specialty.
t?F“Send for deecriptiv- .Catalogues Sl Price
List. sepl7ly.
CUTHBERT MI APPEAL.
eureka
SUPER-PHOSPHATE
m
LITHE
Is for sale at
AH Points of Importance
IN (GEORGIA.
>o* J jITHU QUA 4
WE HAVE SOLD IT
FIVE SUCCESSIVE YEARS,
AND KNOW
It is the very Article
PLANTERS TO USE.
DAVID DIOKSONyEsq.,
0£ Oxford, sivys
It is superior to any
COMMERCIAL
FERTILIZER
He has ever applied, and
RECOMMENDS IT
TO EVERYBODY*
Wfi SOLD OVER
Two Thousand Tolls
IN GEORGIA
LAST YEAR.
IT HAS BEEN TRIED
AND ALWAYS
PAID
THE
PLANTEtI,
I ‘ , J -'.‘ ~ \
Send for a Pamphlet. An Agent
may be found at almost every De
pot, but information can always be
iiad of
F. W. SIMS & CO.,
Savannah, Oa.
Agent at Ciithbert, Ga.,
H. H. JO AYS.
Agent at Fort Gaines, Ga.,
SVTLITE At GRAHAM.
jau2o-3m
CUTHBERT, GEORGIA, FRIDAY, MARCH 3, 1871.
®|t Cutjjkrt g|pal
Terms of Subscription:
OnE Year $3 00 j Six Months —s2 00
INVARIABLY IN AHVARC*.
No attention paid to orders for the pa
per uu’ess accompanied by the Cash.
Rates of Advertising:
One square, (ten lines or less.) $1 00 for the
first and 75 cents for each subsequent inser
tion. A liberal deduction made to parties
Who advertise by the year.
Persons sending ad vertisements shotil J mark
the number of times they desire them inser
ted, or they, will be continued until forbid and
charged accordingly.
Transient advertisements must be paid for
at the time of insertion. _ ?»
Announcing names of candidates for office,
$5.00. Cash, in all cases
Obituary, notices over five lines, charged at
regulair advertising ra'es.
All communications intended to promote the
private ends or interests of Corporations, So
cieties, Or'individuals, trill be charged as ad
vertisements. j
Job Work, such as Pamphlets, Ovrcißars,,
Cards, Blanks. Handbills, etc., Will l>e execu-;
ted in good style and at reasonable rates.
All letters addressed to the Proprietor will
lie promptly attended to.
." We AH MigM do Good.
We all might do good
Where we often do ill;
There is always the way,
If there be but the will,
Though it be but a word,
Kindly breathed or suppressed,
It may guard off some pain,
Or give peace to *6me breirst.
We all might do good
In a thousand small ways—
In forbearing to flatter.
Yet yielding due praise :
In spurning all rumor,
Reproving wrong done,
And treating but kindly
The heart we have won.
We all might do right,
Whether lowly or great.
For the deed is-not guaged
By tbe purse or estate.
If it be but a cup
Cf cold water that's given.
Like the widow’s two mites,
It is something for Heaven.
Advertising Aphorisms.—Ju
dicious advertising always pays,
If you have a good thing, adver
tise it. If you havu’t, don’t.
If you don’t mean to mind your
own business, it will not pay to ad
vertise.
Never run down your opponents’
goods in public. Let him do his
own advertising
It’s as true of advertising as of
anything else in this world—if it is
worth doing at all, it is worth doing
well.
We don’t recommend advertis
ing as the best way to get a wife;
but we know that it is the best way
to get a good trade.
You can’t eat enough in one week
to last a whole year, and you can’t
Advertise on that plan either.
A large advertisement once, and
then discontinued, creates the im
pression that the man has fizzled.
Injudicious advertising is like
fishing where there’s no fish. You
need to let the lines fall in the right
place.
A constant dropping will wear a
rock. Keep dropping your adver
tisemetits, on the public and they
will soon melt under it like rock
salt.
Large type isn’t necessary in ad
vertising. Blind folks don’t read
newspapers.
If you can arouse curiosity by an
advertisement it is a great point
gained. The fair sex don’t hold all
the curiosity in the world.
Don’t be afraid to invest in prin
ter’s ink, lest your sands of life be
nearly run out.
When you advertise, see that you
do it on the same principle that you
buy goods. Get the most you can
for the money.
People who advertise only once
in three months forget that most
folks can’t remember anything lon
ger than about seven days.
No Hojifc—No home. What a
misfortune ! How sad the thought l
There are thousands who know
nothiug of the blessed influences of
comfortable homes, merely because
of a want of thrift, or from dissipa
ted habits. Youth spent in frivo
lous amusements und demoralizing
associations, leaving them at mid
dle age, when the physical aud in
tellectual man should be in its
greatest vigor, enervated and with
out any laudable ambition Friends
long since lost, confidence gone, and
nothing to look to in old age but a
mere toleration in the community
where they should be ornaments. —
No home to fly to when wearied
with the struggles incident to life}
no wife to cheer them in their des
pondency ; no children to amuse
tnem, and no virtuous household
to give rest ta the joys of life. All
is blauk, and there is no hope or
succor except that, which is given
out by the hand of private or pub
lic charities. When the family of
the industrious and sober citizen
gather around the cheerful fire of a
wintry day, the homeless man is
seeking a shelter in the cells of a
station-house, or begging for a
night’s rest in the out-building of
one who started in life at the same
time with no greater advantages;
but honesty and industry built up
their home, while dissipation des
troyed tho other.
- A man advertised for a wife,
and requested each candidate to in
close her carte de visite. A spiri
ted young lady thus addressed him;
‘‘Sir—l do Dot enclose my cartej for
though there is some authority for
patting a cart before a horse I know
of none for putting One before an
ass.”
Beggars in China.
Beggars in China prepare them
selves for their work by no small
amount of Buffering, if we may be
lieve a corresspondcDt. He says 1
that four men were seen one day
crawling on their hands and knees,
having lost their legs a few inches
below the knee. They asserted
that their eight legs had all been
burned off in a fire. But it was
ascertained that in the southern
part of the province of Santung
beggars have their legs taken oft' by
a professional beggar-surgeon, his
plan being to tie a piece of thin
6tring around the middle of the
calf, drawing it closer day by day,
till mortification of the lower limb
ensues. After a while the bone is
exposed, sawn through, the wound
closed up, and the beggars sent
forth, amidst tbe congratulations of
their friends, as in a fair way to ob
tain a beggar’s fortune. Numbers,
however, sink under the tortues of
the tedious operation. Devices
which reminded one "Os Western
rogues are sometimes resorted to.
Mr. Cobbold, who was formerly a
missionary in Ningpo, in his very
entertaining book, “Pictures of the
Chinese,” relates an act of charity
of his own. A man came to his
house with his wrist fearfully
wounded—hacked through as he
asserted, by pirates. Mr. Cobbold
called a chair, and hurried off to
the dispensary of a missionary doc
tor. It was pronounced a case of
amputation-. A Buddhist priest was
engaged as nurse; the surgeon set
to work to remove the bandage;
the patient shrieked in a becoming
manner; roll after roll of the band
age was removed, until at last the
wrist was disclosed, perfectly sound
and whole. So ingeniously was the
imposture contrived that it thus at
first deceived even the practiced
eye of a foreign surgeon.
There is a large division in the
beggar host whose character is low
even in the estimation of then
friends. They have mostly been
thieves in former days, and though
set at liberty) they yet carry the
badges of their crime about with
them, whether as a punishment, as
a sign of penitence, or as a means
of exciting compassion, the writer
is not prepared to say. They are
called “mandaran beggars.” Some
wear a very small wooden collar, a
model of the cangue borne by con
victed thieves in the streets. Oth
ers carry a heavy stone on their
shoulders from morning to night,
their crimes being greater than the
first class. Others, again, have a
heavy iron spear padlocked to tTieir
foot and shoulder; these are chief
ly men banished from other pro
vinces. Others, more light-hearted
and less burdened by manacles,
whirl bowls of water round with
jugglers skill; they are called
“Shake the falling sky.” Others
go through all the exercises of the
noble art of defense, only beating
the air, not boxing a brother beg
gar; and begging priests of the
Buddhist and Taoniss type are fre
quently met with—not true mendi
cant friars sent forth by the monas
tery abbots, hut priests without a
home, either outcasts from temples
or fictitious charactcis.
How to Prosper in Busixfiss. —
Iu the first place, make up your
mind to accomplish whatever you
undertake ; decide upon some par
ticular employment aud persevere
in it. All difficulties are overcome
by assiduity.
Be not afraid to work with your
own hands, and diligently, too.—
“A cat in gloves catches no mice.”
He who remains in the mill grinds,
not he who goes and comes.
Attend to your busiuess; rever
trust another. “A pot that belongs
to many is ill-stirred and worse
boiled.”
Be frugal ‘‘That which will not
make a pot will make a pot lid.”—-
“Save the pence and the pounds
will take care of themselves;”
Be abstemious. “Who dainties
love shall beggars prove.”
Rise early. “The sleepy fox
catches no poultry.” “Plough deep
while sluggards sleep, and you will
have corn to sell and keep.”
Treat every one with respect and
civility. “Everything is gained
and nothing lost by courtesy.”
“Good manners insure success.”
Never anticipate wealth from
any other source than labor; espe
cially never place dependence upon
becoming the possessor of an in
heritance. “He who waits for dead
men’s shoes may have to go a long
time barefoot.”
‘‘He who runs after a shadow
hath a wearisome race.”
Above all things never despair.
God is where he is. “He belps
those who truly trusts in Him,”
Segars and Physic. Old Doc
tor S., of New London, Conn., in
his latter years kept a Drug Store.
A gentleman one day purchased a
segar of the Doctor, and lighting
it began to smoke. “Please do not
smoke in the store,” said Dr. S.,
politely; “it is against the rules.”
“But you sell segars,” rejoined the
gentleman.” “Sell them to smoke,
don’t you ?” “Yes, sir, we sell se
gars,” replied the Doctor, a little
sharply—“and sell physio, but we
don’t allow it to operate in the
store;”
—An Irishman went to live in
Scotland for a short time, but
didn’t like the country.
“I was sick all the time I was
there,” said he ; “and if I had lived
there till this time, I’d been dead a
year ago I”
Extravagance.
Extravagance in living is rapid
ly becoming the besetting sin of all
our large cities. In fact is getting
to he oue of our national character
istics-, and even foreigners who visit
us, and who are familiar with the
luxurious habits of the uper classes
of European society) are astonished
at the recklessness with which
Americans now-a days spends their
money.
Ih this respect, things are differ
ent with us from what' they were
in former times. The days of Re
publican simplicity and frugality)
when our fathers were coutent with
the gains of legitimate business, and
honesty among the commercial
classes was the rule rather than the
exception, having given place to an
era of fast living, as well as acqui
ring wealth. But the great trouble
with us is, that the personal and
family expenses of a large portion
of our business men during the last
few years, have increased much fas
ter in proportion than their jnoans
of indulgence.
Formerly, partners of every well
to-do mercantile firm were in the
habit of allowing a large portion of
their profits to be re invested as
additional capital in their business,
and of living plainly 7 and economi
cally upon the balance until able to
retire upon a competency. Now,
every young man, as soon as he
becomes established in business, in
order to secure his entree into socie
ty 7 , must affect a princely style of
living, which compels him to spend
all his income, and sometimes to en
croach upon his capital.
It is a notorious fact, since the
close of the war, with the great fall
ing off in business profits conse
quent upon the general shrinkage
of value, a great many merchants
and manufacturers have been living
beyond their incomes. They know
very well if they continue to go on
in this way they will soon have ru
in and bankruptcy stariug them in
the face. But they prefer to run
the risk, and trust to better times,
or in some lucky stroke of specula
tion to retrieve their fortunes rather
than retrench. They are men of
the world, courting popularity and
influence, whoso wives and daugh
ters move in the charmed circle of
fashionable society, and they cannot
hear to give up any portion) howev
er trifling, of their outward display
of opulence, for fear of losing caste.
Speak Out. —Don’t practice
prevarication or circumlocution,
young friends. It may be true of
language, as judged by the diction
ary, and as charged Upon it by a fa
mous satirical writer, that it was
seemingly invented to hide thought,
instead of expressing it. To this
purpose the “it's” and “and,” “per
haps,” &c., are very frequently put.
But we warn you most earnestly
against their prevaricating use if
you are desirous of maintaining
your self respect and personal integ
rity.
If a question is asked you, answer
promptly and squarely, or decline
answering altogether. And the lat
ter course it is your privilege to
take, if any improper question is
put to you from any idle cariosity
or some worse motive. There is
nothing more attractive in young
people than frankness of bearing,
frankness of looks as well as of
speech, an open countenance, an
eye that never winks beneath the
burden of a falsehood, a lip that re
fuses to let a lie pass over it.
There are no words in the Eng
lish language more valuable than
the little monosyllable, “yes” and
“no.” There is no prevarication in
them when properly nttered. But
when they are drawled out into
“y-C-s” and “n-o-o,” then they be
come words of prevarication. Out
with them, in a clear ring of the
voice, when you speak them. Only
so will you do justice to native sense
of propriety; only so can you be
truly happy! There is nothing so
safe in the long run, and surely
nothing more beautiful than truth,
truth frankly spoken. There, speak
out!— Dr. JT. E. Snodgrass.
Women Should Read Newspa
pers.—lt is a great mistake in fe
male education to keep a young la
dy’s time and attention devoted on
ly to the fashionable literature of
the day. If you would qualify her
for conversation, you must give her
something to talk about, give her
education in the actual world and
its transpiring events. Urge her to
read the newspapers, and become
familiar with the present character
and improvements of our age. His
tory is of some importance; but
the past world is dead; we have
nothing to do with it. Our
thoughts and our concerns should
be for the present world ; to know
what it is and improve its condition.
Let her have an intelligent opinion,
aud be able to sustain conversation
according to the mental, moral and
religious improvement of our times.
The following from the Green
Bay Gazette shows how entirely
compatible the cultivation of the
poetic muse is with the sundering
of the teuderest relation of wedded
life:
NOTICBi
Whereas my pet. my pretty toy,
My wile, my Lizzie J.,
lifts left my bed and my employ
With other men to stray,
I therefore take this to forewarn
Yon not to trust her with a straw,
For I will never p«y her corn
Uuless compelled by law.
Hexet Kanute.
A Wonderful City.—London
(Eng.) is a great city. Its statis
tics are marvelous, and, in a concise
form, present a great deal of food
for thought and speculation. It is
four times more populous than New
York and St. Petersburg, twice as
populous as Constantinople; there
are nearly two-thirds more people
in it than in Paris, and one-fourth
more population than Pekin. It
contains as many people as Scotland,
twice as many as JDenriiark, and
three times the Dumber of Greece.
Every eight minutes, night and day,
one person dies; every five minutes
one is born. Eight hundred thous
and have been added to the popula
tion since 1851. Only half a mil
lion of all this population attend
public worship*, and there are a mil
lion of absentees who, if inclined to
attend, would require to have 800
new placesof worship built for them.
A hundred thousand people work
on Sundays ; there are 140,000 hah
ituai gin drinkers; 190,000 intoxi
cated people taxen every year off
the streets; 100,000 fallen women ;
10,000 professional gamblers; 20, ■>
000 children trained to crime ; 30,-
000 thieves and receivers of stolen
goods. There are 10,000 public
houses and beer shops, frequented
regularly by 500,000 persons. In
every 890 of the population one is
insane; there is one baker for eve
ry 1,206 persons; one butcher, for
every 1,553; one grocer for every
1,800; and one policeman for every
608 inhabitants. On theother hand,
out rtf 60,000 London Arabs, 30,000
are at ragged schools. There are
300 Bible women ; 380 city mission
aries; and 20,000 persons attending
public worship in the theatres eve
ry Sunday evening.
Ilow to Make the Boys Good
Farmers. —Induce them to take an
interest in the farm, iii the imple
ments, in the stock; tell them all
your plans, your successes and fail
ures; give them a history of your
own life, and what you did ami how
you lived when a hoy ; but do not
harp too much on the degenerate
character of the young men of the
present age ; praise them when you
can, and encourage them to do still
better. Let them dress up for the
evening, instead of sitting down in
their dirty clothes in a dingy room.
Provide plenty of light; thanks to
kerosene, ours can be as brilliantly
and a9 cheaply lighted as the gas-lit
houses in the city. Encourage the
neighbors to drop in of evenings.—
Talk agriculture rather than poli
ties; speak more of the importance
of large crops, of good stock, of lib
eral feeding, and of the advantages
of making animals comfortable,
rather than of the hard times, low
prices and nigh wages. Above all,
encourage the boys to read good
agricultural books. Papers are all
weil enough, but an intelligent hoy
wants something more and better.
Get him some good agricultural
book to study. Read it with him,
and give him the benefit of your ex
perience and criticism. When he
has mastered this buy him another.
In our own case, we owe our love
for farming principally to the fact
that our fatheC talked to us of eve
rything that was doing on the farm ;
answering all our questions and en
couraging rather than refusing our
childlike desire of helping him to
plow, to chop, to let off water, and
fire the brush heap.— American
Agriculturist.
A Curious Legend.— When
Adam was far advanced in years,
and at the point of death, he sent
his son to the angel Michael, w r ho
kept the gate of Paradise to pray
for the oil of mercy so that he could
be healed. The angel answered it
could not be until fifty-five hun
dred years, but be gave Seth a
branch of the tree of which Ad.im
had eaten, bidding him plant in on
Mount Lebanon, and that when it
bore fruit his father should be
healed.
Seth planted the branch on his
fathers grave, it took root and grew
and grew, and from it were made
Aaron’s rod, and Moses’ with;
which he struck the rock and sweet
ened the waters of Marah.
It also formed the pole on which
the brazen serpent was lifted, and
the ark of the testimony.
At last it came into the hands of
Solomon, who used it in building
his palace, but it continually resis
ted the efforts of the builders to ad
just it. ' Now it was too long and
then again too short. The builders
being angry, threw into a marsh so
that it might serve as a bridges
The Queen of uheba wo.uld not
walk upon it, but adorned it, and
told Solomon that upon it should
be suspended the man through
whose death the kingdom should
be destroyed.
Soldirion then had it buried deep
in the ground, where afterward the
pool of Bethsaida was dug, and
from the virtues of this tree, heal
ing properties were imparted to the
waters. After it had beeu buried
three hundred years, it rose to the
surface of the water, and the Jews
took it and made of it the cross of
our Saviour.
«»♦ .— —
Remedy for Ear Ache. —The
following is given as an excellent
palliation for the ear ache, one of
the worst and most irremediable
aches to which flesh is heirs Take
a bit of cotton, put on it a pinch of
black pepper, gather it up and tie
it, dip it in sweet oil, and insert
in the ear. Put a flannel handker
chief over the head to keep it warm:
The application generally gives im
mediate reliefs
Home and it’s Queen.
There is probably not an unper
verted man of* ivonian living who
docs not feel that the sweetest con
solation and best rewards of life
are found in the loves and delights
of home. There are very few who
do not feel themselves indebted to
the influences that clustered around
their cradles for whatever of good
there may be in their characters and
conditions. Homo based on Chris
tian marriage, is so evidently an in
stitution of God, that a man must
become profdne before he can deny
it. Whenever it is pure, and true
to the Christian idea, there lives an
institution conservative of all the
nobler interests of society. Os this
realm woman is the queen. It
takes the cue from her. If she
is iu the beat sense womanly—if
she is true and tender, loving and
heroic, patient and self-dcvotcd—
she consciously or unconsciously or
ganizes and puts in operation a set
of influences that do more to mould
the destiny of the nation than any
man, uncrowned by power or elo
quence, can possibly effect. The
men of the nation ‘are what their
mothers make theni, as a rule; and
the voice which those men speak in
the expression of their power is the
voice of the woman who bore and
bred them. There can be no sub
stitute for this. There is no other
possible way in which the women
of the nation can organize their in
fluence and power that will tell so
beneficently upon society and State.
Neither women nor the State can
afford to have home demoralized
or in any 7 way deteriorated by the
loss of her presence or the lessening
of her irttlueiice there. Asa nation
we rise or fall as the character of
our homes, presided over by wo
man, rises or falls; and the best
guago of our best prosperity is to
be found in the measure by which
those homes find multiplication in
the land. In true marriage, and
the struggle aftel* the highest ideal
of home life, is to be found the so l
lution of more of the ugly problems
that confront the presentgeneration
—moral, social, and political—than
we have to enumerate.
A Rich Grmmaticai. Decision
—The New York Tribune decides
that the plural of “titmouse” is “tit
mouses,” not “@n the
sum principles,” Bays another paper;
“plural of a tailor’s goose is goos
es,” as indeed we hold that it is.
This reminds us of an anecdote
in regard to a country merchant
who wanted two of these tailor’s
irons several years ago; aud order
ed them from Messrs. Dtin & Spen
cer, hardware merchants, then do
ing business in this city. He first
wrote this order: “Please send two
tailor’s gooses.” Thinking that
this was bad grammar, he destroy
ed it and wrote this one: “Please
send mo two tailor’s geese.” Up
on reflection he destroyed this one
also, for feaiihe would receive live
geese. He thought over the matter
until he was very much worried,
and at last, in a moment of despe
ration, he seized his pen and wrote
the following; which was duly mail
ed : “Messrs. Dun & Spencer, please
send me one tailor’s goose, andd—n
it, send me another .” This was
the only way he knew of to order
two of them; but of course he had
not read the above wise decision
then —Petersburg Courier.
We once knew a merchant who
wanted a dozen of the same article
and got over it by ordering “one
tailor’s goose,” and immediately
under it, “eleven ditto.”— Sav. Re
publican.
A Lawyer’s Fee. —A story is
told at the expense of a legal gen
tleman who was formerly well
known in Norwich; Conn; and who
now lives in Oshkosh. One Smith
had failed in busiuess and sold out
and having two or three tough lit
tle bills, bad given them to this
lawyer for collection. Smith went
to the office to receive the proceeds.
The amount collected was about
SSO. “I’m sorry you’ve been so
unfortunate, Smith for I take a
great interest in you. I shan’t
charge you as much as I should if
I didn’t feel so much interest in
you.” Here he handed Smith fif
teen dollars, and kept the balance.
“You see, Smith, I knew yon when
you were a little boy, and I knew
your father before you, and I take
a good deal of interest in you.—
Good morning. Come and see me
again.” Smith, moving slowly out
of the door, and ruefully contem
platiug the avails; was heard to
mutter, “Thank God, you didn’t
know my grandfather.”
Tobacco. —it is Stated in the
“Chemistry of Common Life” .that
tobacco is produced to the extent
of 4,480,000,000 pounds annually,
and is used by 800,0b0,000 of men;
opium, among 400,000,000 of men ;
Indian hemp among 250,000,000 of
men ; betel nttt (dr pineng) among
10,000,000 of men; cocoa, among
10,000,000 of men. Little is known
iu Europe of the use of hemp as a
narcotic, yet in the East it is as
familiar to the unvoiuntary as the
opium and tobacco of other regions.
The value of these articles is fixed
at about $300,000,000 annually.
“Would you be willing to uni
dertake the management of my
property for your victuals and
clothes V” said Girard, to a gentle
man; who was congratulating him
on his vast possessions. “No,” was
. the reply: “Well,- that’s all I get,”
said the millionaire.
VOL. y-NO. 10
The Bachelor Juror.
A gentleman who is rather givert
to story telling relates the follow
ing :
When I was a young man I spent
several years in the South; residing
for a while at Port Hudsoh, oh till
Mississippi river. A great deal of
litigation was going on there about
that time, and it was not always afi
easy matter to obtain a jury. One
day I was summoned to act*in that
capacity, and repaired to court to
get excused.
On my name being ealled, I in
formed his honor, the Judge, that I
was not a freeholder, and therefore,
not qualified to serve.
“I ant stopping for the time
ing at Port Hudson.”
“You board at the hotel, I pre
sume ?”
“I take ray meals there, but have
rooms in another part of the town
where I lodge.”
‘‘Bo you keep bachelor's hall
“Yes, sir."
“How long have you lived in that
manner
“About six months.’*
“I think you are qualified,” grave
ly remarked the Judge ; for 1 have
never known a man to keep bache
lor’s hall the length of time you
name who had not dirt enough in
his room to make him a freeholder!
The court does not excuso you.
A bed bug trap has been in
vented in Canada*.
—A St. Louis paper speaks of one
of its cotemporaries as having
“woodbined."
“lf a body see a body carry
ing off his wood, should a body
whale a body—if a body could
—-The poor are oftener prayed
for than helped. The reason is, we
believe that air is cheaper than bulU
ion.
The ladies give as a reason for
marrying for money, that they now
seldom find anything else in a mart
worth having.
A Chicago girl says she doeS
not get married for the reason that
she dofcs not know whoSe hUSbttrtd
she might be marrying.
—An exchange says that the
frogs of Connecticut have worn the
skin off their noses in the vain at
tempt to find water.
lf you have been tempted to
evil, fly from it; it is not falling in
to the water, hat lying in it, that
drowns.
A New Haven editor says lit)
recently wrote an article about his
“alma mater,” which appeared in
the paper as “alum water.
A teacher, catechising hIS
scholars, put the following question:
“What was made to give light to
the world ?” “Matches,” cried oms
of the youngsters.
A man, who offered to be bail
for a friend, was asked by the
judge if he had an encumbrance on
his farm. “Oh; yes,” said he; “ms
old woman.”
The difference between &
country and a city greenhorn is,
that one would like to know every
thing, and the other thinks he C&h
tell him.
ln traveling through Arkansas;
a few years before the war, the fol
lowing quaint notice, with a cow
horn beside it, might have been
seen on the door of a small grocery
near the east bank of the riVfei*:
All you wat cums hear Wat cAn rede
and wants to go over mus bio this
horn, them wat can’t rede mus goto
the tother house and they wil tell
them to cum back An bio this fibril:
—A Quaker intending to drink a
glass bf water, took up a small tum
ler of giu. He did not discover
his mistake nntil he had swallowed
the dose, when he lifted up both
hands and exclaimed: “Verily I
have taken inwardly the balm of
the world’s people. What will Abi
gail say when she smells my breath f
—An inquiring widow; who ap
pealed to her departed husband tb
advise her whether she had better
make a purchase she was contem
plating, (or, at least, is said to have
appealed,) has been answered, the
“communication” being published
in the Banner of Light, and being
in effect as fellows : “My answer is;
Do just as you please; becdUse I
know you will any way. I don’t
forget people’s disposition, even if
t have been through death. So
Nancy, do just as you please. If
you want to buy, buy; and if you
get into trouble by it, get out of it.
You are smart enough.
A friend who married a wid
ow, explains as follows how he goi
mixed up in his relationship: “I
married a widow who had a grown
up daughter. My father visited
our house often, fell in love with
my step-daughter and married hfch
So my father became my son in law
and my step-daughter my mother
becaiisC she was ffiy father's wife.—
Some time afterwards my Wife hid
a son—he was my father’s brother
in-law, and my uncle, for he was thti
brother of my step mother.
My father’s wife, i. e.; my step
daughter had also a son; he was
of course my brother, and in the
meantime my grandmother; be
cause she was my mother’s mother.
I was my wife’s husband
grandchild at the same time. *
as the husband of a person’*
mother is his grandfat* aer ’
my own #