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About Cuthbert weekly appeal. (Cuthbert, Ga.) 18??-???? | View Entire Issue (July 14, 1871)
VOL. V. THE APPEAL. rCBLKBCn EVERT THIBET, BY SAWTELL CHRISTIAN. Terms of Subscription: Ox* Year....*3 00 | Six M0mw....52 00 irtariarlt m adtarce. ( So Attention ptfld to orders for tbe pa per Bates* accompanied by the Cash. Hates of Advertising: One square, (tea Hites <*r less,) $1 OB for the W and 75 cent# for each subsequent inser *,|oa. A liberal deduction made to parties trfco advertise by the year. Persons sending advertisements should mark the number of times they desire them inser ted, or they will be continued until forbid and advertisements must be paid for itt the time of insertion. Announcing names of candidates for office, 45.00. Cash, in all cases. Obituary notices over live lines, charged at tegular advertising rates. All communications Intended to promote the private ends or interests of Corporations, So cieties, or individuals, Will be charged as ad vertisements. Job Work, such as Pamphlets. Circn ars. Cards, Blanks, Handbills, etc., will be execu ted in good style and at reasonable rates. All letters addressed to the Proprietor will be promptly attended to. Whom First We Love, BT JCUE WE HI) HOWE. When first we love, you know we seldom wed; Time rules ns all. And life, indeed is not The thing we planned it oat ere hope was dead; . And theu we women cannot choose onr lot. Much must bo born which it is hard to bear, Mueh given awny which it were sweet to keep, God he p us all! who need, indeed, Ilia care ; And yet I know the Shepherd loves his sheep. My little boy begine to babble row Upon my knee his earliest infant prayer ; He has bis father's eager eyes I know. And they say, 100 his mother's sunny hair. But when be sleeps and smiles upon my knee, And I can feel his light breath come and B°» * I think of one—Heaven help and pity me! Who loved me, and whom I lilved, long ago. Who might have been—ah, what I dare no t think, W* are all changed. God judges for us best. God help as do our daty, and not shrink, And trust iu Heaven lor the rest. But blame as women not, if some appear Too cold at times, and some too gay and light; Some griefs gnaw deep nom* woes are hard to bear, Who knows the past ? And who can judge us right ? Ah, were we judged by what we might have been, And not by what we are—too apt to fall! My little child—he sleeps and smiles between These thoughts and me. Iu Heaven we shall know ail. True Heroism. Let others write of battles fought, Os bloody, ghastly fields. Where honor greets tbe man who wins, And death the mao who yields: But I will write ot him who tights And vanquisher his sins. Who straggles on through weary years Against biuiselt and wia*. He is a hero staunch and brave Who fights an unseen foe. And puts at last beneath his feet His passions base and low ; Who stands erect in manhood's might Undaunted, undismayed— Tbe bravest mau who drew a sword In toray or in raid. It calls for something m<*e than brawn Or music to o’ercome Au enemy who marcheth not With banner, plume arid drum A foe forever lurking nigh, With silent stealthy tread. Forever near your board by day, At night beside your bed. AU honor, then, to that brave heart, Though poor or rich he be, Who struggles with his better part Who conquers and is free. He may not wear a hero’* crown. Or fill a ocro'* grave, teat truth will place his name among Tbe bravest of the brave. —Mr. A. 11. Stephens, of Gcot jria, has turned editor. He will find it reqnifes more brains, more mental strain, to edit a newspaper than he ever found it required to practice law or be a member of Con gress, however ignorant people may think to the contrary. When to be silent, what to keep back ; how to present and press the trnth so as to have all its effect. Mr. S. will have most difficulty in keeping silent.— Prederick Hews. The Cuthbert (Ga.) Appeal says he saw in Mr. J. C. Ward’s garden in that place, “ Many white head cabbage as large as a peck measure. Are you not mistaken, friend Appeal? ere thev not “ long ccllards ? ” This was the on ly vegetable of that species the soil of Cuthbert would produce during the war, when we sojourned for a time in the plaoe.— Dalton Citizen. We admit that our section is not so well adapted to cabbage raisin ' as some other things ; but we raise plenty of them harder than that ed itor’s heal, CUTHBERT afcfM APPEAL. [For the Cuthbert Appeal. People Will Think. A little incident which transpired not a thousand miles from my res idence, suggests the following play upon the word think. Mrs. Q. having occnson, sent her servant girl to Mrs. K’s. Soon after entering the house, she was accost ed by a young landy visitor, with the question: Does Eliza Jane Q-, have any beaux ? The servant being a great ad mirer of Miss Eliza Jane, and feel ing a little piqued at such an inter rogatory, repled: “ Boys don’t bother Miss Eliza Jane’s mind, she don’t care any thing about such stuff.” At this impertinent, (rather I think pertinent) reply of the lady of color the young lady, (so called), with a* would be dignified air, re marked, . “It’s on the other side, she can’t get them.” At this insinuation upon the fa vorite Miss Eliza Jane, the servant being of African descent, and tak ing advantage of the relation she bears to Bullock & Cos., with an impudent toss of the head replied, “I recon that Miss Eliza June conld get as many beaux as yon, if she would put herself to the troub le of running around town after them, as you do.” People will talk, ami whore there is so much thinking, there will be some talking. As well try to bind the forked lightning, as it Hashes athw art the heavens, as to keep peo ple from thinking. As to what they think, that is the question. Some have uood thoughts, some bad, Some jolly, and some sad. The statesman of other days, as j he sat in deep meditation, long af ter all nature was hushed to rest, was thitAing for the good of his country. Both mind and body, | were engaged in the noble effort, of assisting in the administration of honesty and justice. The dema gogue of to-day is thinking too, but from the gingle of his pocket, (for some how or other, little change will gingle in the pockets of legis lators, senators, congressmen, and such golden characters) a thinking man, would think, that his thoughts were quite different from those of the staunch old patriot, who wield ed his sword alone for the equal rights of the people. That bright little dollar,esconced so snugly iu the pocket of the rich man, is not goiug to say a word, it is only going to think, (you know that we can’t help the exercise of this God giving blessing;) but lis ten to its silent little thoughts.— What changes time brings! Not many years ago, I was buried in the dark recess of the earth, without a ray of light to cheer my lonely hours. I abandoned to a life of darkness, and dispalr. At length the monotony of things around me, was brokeu by the voice o£ weep ing; a strange man, bowed to the earth with grief. Listen to his tale of sorrow. A sick wife, hungry children, and starvation ahead. As he removed shovel after shovel of dirt, drawing near, and still nearer to me, he poured out his soul in these plaintive notes of despair. I have toiled long, and labored hard, for what? that I might increase the wealth of my oppressor; the man who grinds the faces of the poor. "God bless the poor! they have no friend but Thee. At length his eye fell upon me, his spirit revives, and the dark night of adversity, brings out bright stars of hope. He thinks that his day dawneth—that surely the shin ing gold reflects its image .on the heart of him for whom he has la bored, so faithfully, will impress his mind with the power of the “golden rule,” thus compelling him to reward his labor. To make a long story short, I was washed, polished, corned, aryl brought be. fore the world, in my present allur ing appearance. How I am the light of the family circle, I am greeted with smiles, in the church, and on the street, I participate in the mid-night revel. I listen un moved, to the moan of the widow, and the orphans wail. In a word “I am monarch of all I survey.” How passing strange, if the thinking of the bright “little dol lar,” does not put in motion the wheel of thought in man. The whole-soul physician, as he burns the midnight lamp in his ef fort to diagrose some difficult case, is thinking too. His heart is en gaged, in relieving pain, and rescu ing from the icy arms of death, some suffering fellow creature. CUTHBERT, GEORGIA, FRIDAY, JULY 14, 1871. The “woman’s right” woman, is thinking that she is going to alter the old regime of affairs, and establish in a full literal sense, the truth of these lines, ‘•Ye lords of creation, yon we call, Who think yoa rule the world, You are much mistaken after ail, For you are under woman's control." She thinks that she is going to circumscribe the rights of man, to so small a compass, that at her mandate, thus for sbalt thou go, and no farther, be will on bended knee, exclaim, I am at your ser vice madam. The well-bred school girl, as she pours over the difficult lines of Eu clid, or plods leisurely along, over the abstruse problems Os Trigonom etry, is thinkiug of the future, fthen through industry and energy, she becomes the solace of pareuts, and an ornament to society. Her thoughts are not of how many of the sterner sex she can by vain, designing means. She looks with scorn upon the many lit tle efforts of young ladies of the period, to attract the society of young gentlemen. She watches with contempt the dropping of a sweet scented handkerchief, that some beax ideal of fashion may with his anon-white hand, place it, within her own dainty fingers, and sighs for oblivion, when she sees her'own sex become so demoralized, as to accidentally become intimate friends with aunts and cousins, in order to happen in when these lords of creation are on hand. Now, one good turn another, and as I have been gene rons enough to allow others • the luxury of thoag!it ; I think that I may, with propriety, enjoy the same privilige. Well, I think that mind, the source of thought, is widely di versified. In some : tis deep, in some 'tis shallow. In some 'tis soft as melted tallow ; and to this last class, ! think, that I ' will assign the fair young lady who j thinks that a school girl should, to the neglect of mental culture, and the pleasures of home, parade the streets, putting on airs, begging and receiving the attention of young gentlemen. I think, that any wo man, who advocates such practices, should, when women have their rights, make an early application for some important position on the Brunswick & Albany Railroad. lam through thinkiug for the present, and will now allow my kind readers to think for them selves. llasseltixe. Stephen Allen's Pocket-Piece* Many years ago, the fir e steam er, Henry Clay, which van between New York and Albany, when on her down trip and just opposite the beautiful village of Yonkers, was found to be on fire. The steamer was iilMUf-diately headed for the shoro, bat, notwithstanding its near ness to the land, and the heroic ef foi ts made to rescue the passengers, 'many lives were lost. Among the victims was Stephen Alien,~Esq., ; an aged man of the purest charac ter, formerly a Mayor of New York, beloved and esteemed by all who knew' him. Ip his pocket-book was found a printed slip, of which the | following is a copy. If our young 1 men—and old ones, too—would practice these precepts, the virtue, patriotism, and prosperity of the Nation would be vastly improved : Keep good company or none. Never be idle. If your hands cannot be usefully employed, cultivate your mind. Always speak the truth. Make few promises. Live up to your engagements. Keep your own secrets if you have any. When you speak to a person look him in the face. Good company and good conver sation are the very sinews of vir i tue. Good character is above all things else. Your character cannot be essen tially injured except by your own 1 acts. If one speaks evil of you, live so that none will believe him. Drink no kind of intoxicating liquors. - Ever live (misfortunes excepted) within your income. When you retire, think over what you have done during the day. Make no haste to be rich, if you would prosper. Small and steady gains give com petency with tranquility of mind. Never play at any game of chance. Avoid temptation, through fear you may not withstand it. Earn money before you spend it. Never run into debt unless you see a way to get out again. Never borrow, if you can possi bly avoid it. Do not marry until you are able to support a wife. Never speak evil of any one. Be just before you are generous. Keep yourself innoeeut if you would be happy. Save when yuu are youcg to spend when you are old. Read over the above maxims at least once a week. ADDRESS TO THE PEOPLE OF THE UNITED STATES BY THE DEMOCRATS IX COXGRESS. The Democrats in Congress have just issued the following address : To the People of the United States: Onr presence and official duties at Washington have enabled ns to be come fully acquainted with the ac tions and designs of those who con trol the Radical party, and we feel called upon to utter a few words of warning against the alarming strides they have made towards centraliza tion of power in the hands of Con gress and the Executive. The time and attention of the Radical leaders have been almost wholly directed to devising such legislation as will, in their view, best preserve their as cendancy, and no regard for the wise restraints imposed by tbe Con stitution has cheeked their reckless and desperate career. The Presi dent of the United States has been forfnallv announced as a candidate for re-election. The declaration of his selfish supporters have been re echoed by a subsidized press, and the discipline of party has already made adhesion to his personal for tunes the supreme test of political fealty. The partisan legislation to which we refer was decreed and shaped in secret caucus, where the extremist counsels always domina ted, and was adopted by a subserv ient majority, if not with the intent, certainly with the effect, to place in the hands of the President, power to command his own renomination, and to employ the army, navy and militia, at his sole discretion, as a means of subserving bis personal ambition. When the sad experience of the last two years so disappoint ing to the hopes and generons con fidence of the country, is considered in connection with the violent utter ances and rash purposes of those who control the President’s policy, it is not surprising that the gravest apprehension for the future peace of the nation should be entertained. At a time tbe labor is depressed and every material interest is palsied by oppressive taxation, the public offi cers have been multiplied bevond all precedent to serve as instru ments in the perpetuation of power. Partisanship is the only test ap plied to the distribution of this vast patronage. Honesty, fitness and moral worth are openly discarded in favor of truckling submission and dishonorable compliance. enormous defalcations and wide spread corruption have followed as the natural pernicious system. By the official report of the Sec retary of the Ty eagnr y }t appears fuat, after the deduction of all proper credits, many millions of dol lars rer jia i n dk, e from ex-collectors tb,e internal revenue, and that no proper diligence has ever been used to collect them Reforms in the revenue and fiscal systems, which all experience demonstrates to be necessary to a frugal administration of the Government, as well as a measure of relief to an overburden ed people, have been persistently postponed or wilfully neglected. Congress now adjourns without having even attempted to reduce taxation or to repeal the glaring im positions by which industry is crush ed and impoverished. The Treasu ry is overflowing and an excess of eighty millions ot revenue is admit ted, and yet, instead of some meas ure of present relief, a barren and delusive resolution is passed by the senate to consider the tariff and ex ercise systems hereafter, as if the history of broken pledges and pre tended remedies furnished any bet ■ ter assurance for future legislation than experieneehas done in the past. Ship-building and the carrying trade, once sources of national pride and prosperity, now languish under a crushing load of taxation, and near ly every other business interest is struggling without profit, to main tain itseif. Our agriculturists, while paying heavy taxes on all they consume, either to the government or to monopolists, find the prices for their own products so reduced that honest labor is denied its j ust re ward and industry is prostrated by invidious discrimination. Nearly 200,000,000 acres of public lands, which should have been reserved especially for the benefit of the people, have been voted away to giant corporations, neglecting our soldiers, enriching a handful! of greedy speculators and lobbyists who are thereby enabled to exercise a most dangerous and corrupting in fluence over State and Federal leg islation. If the career of these conspirators be not checked the downfall of free government is in evitable, and -with it Ihe elevation of a military dictator on the ruins of the Republic. • Under the pretense of passing laws, to enforce the fourteenth amendment, and for other purpo ses, Congress has conferred the most despotic power upon the Executive, and provided an official machinery by which the liberties of the people are menaced, and the sa cred rights of local seif government overthrown. Modelled up to the sedition laws, so odious iu history they are at variance with all the sanctified theories of otir institutions, and the construction given by these Radical interpreters to the four teenth amendment is, to use the language of an eminent Senator— Mr. Trumbull of Illinois—an “an nihilation of the States.” Under the last enforcement bill, “ the ex ecutive may, iu his discretion thrust aside the government of any State, suspend the writ of habeas corpus,” arrest its Governor, imprison or dis perse the Legislature, silence its Judges, and trample down its peo ple under the armed heel of his troops. Nothing is left to the citi zen or the State which cau any lon ger be called a right—all is changed into mere sufferance. Our hopes for redress are in the calm, good sense, the “ sober, sec end thought ” of the American peo ple. We call upon them to be true to themselves and their posterity, and, disregarding party names and minor differences, to insist upon a decentralization of power and the restriction of Federal authority with in its just and proper limits, leaving to the States that control over do mestic affairs which is essential to their happiness and good govern ment. Everything that malicious inge nuity could suggest has been done to irritate the people of the Middle and Southern States. Gross and exaggerated charges of disorder and violence owe their origin to the mis chievous minds of potential mana gers in the Senate and House of Representatives, to which the Ex ecutive has, we regret to say, lent his aid, and thus helped to inflame the popular feeling. In all this course of hostile legislation and harsh resentment no word of con ciliation, of kind encouragement, or fraternal friendship, has ever been spoken by the President or by Con gress to the people of the Southern States. They have Been addressed only in the language of proscrip tiou. IV e earnestly entreat our cit izens in all parts of the Union to spare no effort to maintain peace and order, to carefully protect the rights of every citizen, to preserve kindly relations among all men, and to discountenance and discourage any violation of the rights of any portion*of the peoplesetured under the Constitutionorany of its amend ments. Let us, in conclusion,, earnestly beg 'of yon uot to aid the present attempts of Radioalp artisans to stir up strife in the land ; to renew the issues of the war, c x - to obstruct the return of peace ucd prosperity to the ‘Southern dtates, because it is thus that they seek to divide the attention o' x the country from the corruption and extravagance, in their administration of public affairs, and the dangerons and prof ligate attempts they are making to wards the creation of a centralized military: government. In the five years of peace follow ing the war the Radical adminis-, tration have expended $1,200,000,- 000 for ordinary purposes' alone, being within $>200,000,000 of the aggregate amount spent for the same purpose in war, and in peace, during the seventy-one years pre ceding Jane 30,1861, not including 'in either case the sum paid upon principal or interest of the public debt. It is trifling with the intelligence of the people for the Radical leaders to pretend that this vast sum has beeu honestly expended. Hun dreds of millions of it has been wantonly squandered.—The expen ditures of the Government for the fiscal year ending June 30, IS6I, were Only 62,000,000; while, for precisely the same purposes—civil list, army, navy', pensions, and In dians, 5j,164,000,000 were expended during tbe fiscal year ending June 30, 187 CL Vo indignation could be too stern, and no scorn too severe for the assertions by unscrupulous Rad ical leaders that the great Demo cratic party of the L nion has or can have sympathy with disorders or violence in any part of the coun try in the deprivation of any man of his rights under the Constitu tion. It is to protect and perpet uate the rights which every free man cherishes, to revive in all hearts the feelings of friendship, affection and harmony, which are the best guarantees of law and order, and throw around the hum blest citizen,. wherever he may be, the protecting aegis of those safe guards of personal liberty which the fundamental laws of the land assure, that we invoke the aid of all good men in the work of peace and reconstruction. We invite their generous co-ope ration, irrespective of all former differences of opinion, so that the harsh voice of discord may be si lenced ; that anew and dangerous sectional agitation be checked; that the burdens of taxation, direct and indirect, may be reduced to the lowest point consistent with the good faith to every just national ob ligation, and with a strictly econom ical administration of the govern ment, and that the'States may be restored in their integrity and true relation to. our Federal Union. [Signed by the Democratic mem bers of Congress.] —ln the last forty-eight months under Radical rule, the debt of the city of Philadelphia has been in creased sixteen million* of dollars. The canvass in Kentucky is going on with activity. The rival candidates for the different offices are travelling about the State and holding meetings together. In the mountain counties Gov. Leslie, aud Gen. Harlan, who are running against each other for Governor, are spending all their time togeth er, driving from place to place in the same carriage, and, where ac commodations are limited, even sleeping iu the same bed. Letter from Young Mrs. White to Her Aunt in Dublin. Atlaxta, May, ISTI. Mr Dear Aunt —Although you told me, when I invited yon to my wedding, that I was too young to marry, and not capable of choosing a mate for life properly, and with due considerations, I know that you now feel that I was wiser than yon thought- In selecting dear Orlando, I have gained a most affec tionate and attentive hnsband, and one who has neither a fault itor a vice. Heavens! what must a girl suffer who finds herself united to a dissipated person, neglectful of her, and disposed to seek the society of unworthy persons, who drink, smoke and Jo all sorts of dreadful things 1 Thank Heavens, Orlando is per fection. To-day is my eighteenth, birth day, and we have been married a year. We keep house now, and I can make pretty good {tie, only the undercrust will be damp. Howev er, I think that must be the oven. Once I put peppermint in the pud ding sauce, instead of lemon flavor ing; but then Orlando was trying to kiss me, right before the girV, who didn’t much like either o* us coming into the kitchen at al\. The flowers are coming up beau tifully in the back garden. We §owed a great many seeds, but hard ly expected so many plants.— Among the most numerous is one variety with, a very largo leaf that scratches, one’s finger a, anil don’t smell nice. I wonder what it is.—- Orlando frightens lne by talking about weeds; but seeds always come up don’t they ? Dear Orkmdo BI come back to him again- -so excellent, temperate and true. Tell all the girls to mar ry as soon as they can, if they can find a husband like mine. I have but one trial—business , takes him so much away from me. A lawyer must attend to business, j you know; and sometimes they j carry on the eases until two at night. Often and often he has to i examine witnesses until half-past twelve, and comes homo perfectly : exhausted. And the nasty things will smoke, so that his dear coat quite smells of it. And as it makes him as ill as it does, I have to air i it, and spriukle the lining with co logne water, before he dare put it on again? I had a terrible fright the other night—dreadful. Orlando had told me that business—l think he said it was a case of life and death** would detain him late. So I sat up, as usual, with a book, and did not worry until one o’clock. After that I was a little anxious, I con fess, and caught a cold in *iy head peeping through the up-stairs win dow-blinds; for, dear Aunt, it was not until three o’clock that I heard a c.ab driving up the street, and saw it stop at onr door. Then I thought I should faint, for I was sure a dreadful accident happened to Orlando. I ran down to open the door, and Mr. Smith, a friend of Orlando’s, who is not, I confess, very much to my taste—such a red faced, noisy man—was just supporting my dear boy up the steps. “Ob, what has happened ?” cried “ Don’t bo frightened, Mrs. White,” said Mr. Smith. “Noth ing at all. Only White is a little exhausted. Application to busi ness will exhaust a man, and I thought I’d bring him home,” “All right, Bell,” said Orlando.— “Smith tells the truth, I’m exhaust ed.” And, dearest Aunt, he was so much so that he spoke quite thick, and couldn’t stand up without tot tering. Mr. Smith was kind enough to help him up stairs ; and he laid upon the bed so prostrated that I thought he was going to die. Then I remembered the French brandy you gave me, in case of sickness.— I ran to get it out. “Have a little brandy and water, dear,” I said. “The very thing. Smith is ex hausted too. Give some to Smith,” said he. And I did so reproach myself for not having thought of it before Mr. Smith, was gone. But I gave a glass to Orlando, and, under Prov idence, I think it saved his life; for oh, how bad he was ! “Bella,’’said he, quite faltering in his speech, “the room is going round so fast that I can’t catch your eye. And besides, there’s two of you, and I don’t know which is which.” I knew these were dreadful symp toms. “Take a drink, dear,” said I, “and I’ll try to wake Mary, and send for the doctor.” “No,” said he. “I’ll be all right by morning. I’m all right now.— Here’s your health. You’re a brick. I—” and over he fell, fast asleep. Oh, why do men think so much of money making? Is not health better than anything else ? Os coarse, as he had laid down in his hat, I took that off first.— And I managed to divest him of his coat. But when it came to his boots—dearest Aunt, did you ever take off a gentleman’s boots ? prob- j ably not, as you are a single lady— what a task ! flow do they ever get them on? I pulled and pul ted and putled, and shook and wriggled, and gave it up. But it would not do to leave them on all night; so I went at it again, and over I went on the floor, and into his hat, which I had put down there for a minute. I could have cried. And the oik- came off the same way, just as haid, and just as sudden at last.— Then I put a soft blanket over Or lando, and sat in my sewing chair all night. Oh how heavily he breathed! And had, as you may fancy, the most dreadful fears. He might have killed himself by his over-application to business, for alt I know. The perfect ones go first, it is said. However, imagine my delight at noon next day he was able to get np, eat a slice of toast and drink a cup of strong tea, and declared himself much better, though his head ached. How happy I was » I found my self laughing oyer a little incident that occurred that afternoon, as though I had never had any trouble. A lady’s glove fell out of Orlando's pocket, and the fragments of a bo quet. The boquet he had, of coarse, bought for me thinking to be home early, and the glove lie found in the street.. Ami I pretended to be jealous, and pulled his whiskers for him. Oh, how difficulty should I have felt had anything happened to ray beloved Orlando ! He has not had so exhausting a day since, and, I think, sees the folly of overwork; though, if courts will keep open so late, what can poor lawyers do ? I think it is very inconsistent of the Judge. I wonder whether he has a wife— mean old thing ! Write to me soon. Your affec tionate niece, Bella White. P. S. A man called yesterday and asked me to tell Mr! White that Swig & Swallow would be glad to-have that bill for champagne —the amount SoO. I thought it .was some mistake, since we used none, but Orlando says it is some times impossible to get anything out of a witness without offering him several bottles, and that this mast be done at the counsel’s ex pense. What a shame ! How hard a life is a lawyer’s. Yon, I know, will sympathize, dear aunt. B. W. A Racy .Sketch. A. Head's Wonderful Adventures with the K.K.K. City Hotel, Which it is New Orleans, April —, 18—, ) I have joined ’em. I am a K. K. K. feller. I run the risk of dy ing some day (or night,) but I am going to unbosom myself and make a public expose of the K. K. K. Once upon a time, when Night had spread her sable mantilla o’er the earth and pinned it with a moon, I went to bed. People often go to bed and who never sleep. They have ears, but they see not; they have eyes, but they hear not. The clocks had tolled forth the. I hour of twelve; the stuffed owl in | the City Museum had gone to roost; the statue of Andrew Jackson re posed in silence; the snakes had ceased their croaking, and the frogs their biting; the musquitocS had become humming, and “ all went merry as a marriage belle n —to her harsh. I was sleeping in my couch, of couches like a June bug iu Jan uary, but I did not snore. I never | snore. Everybody would do it, I presume if it was fashionable. But ■ to resume: As I said, it was past midnight, and I wa3 dreaming of my country seat (a stool with three legs,) when I was startled suddenly by a cold, clammy, shrimpy hand upon ray forehead. I awoke and arose up in bed, to discover a figure clothed in white sitting upon my bed. He (I suppose he was a he) held in his hand a roman cantHe, burning bine; and in his left a sky rocket; his eyes were gleaming balls of red fire, and he had tw*o horns in his forehead, besides several which he had taken in his mottth. As I awoke, he wav ed the torch three times around his head and beckoned, like Hamlet’s ghost, for me to follow him. I arose from my bed and followed— entirely in white. He led me thro’ winding streets, up dark alleys, and finally brought me to a grave yard. All this time he had never, for a moment, taken his eyes of fire off me. Arrived in the centre of the grave yard, beside an unburied skel eton between two thorn bashes, he shot off his rocket, and glaring up on me, said: “ Mortuary mortal, I come from tbe bloody den of the Bob Tailed Scorpions. I am the chiefest among 10,000, ■and the one altogether love ly ! Yoa see here, before you the spectre of the Great Tribe of the demoniac deathfnlly dragoons. I am sent to warn, to defy, to drag you to danger. Thrice the scor pion’s tongue has hissed ; thrice the bloody grave has gaped. Behold 1 I looked, and saw in letters of blood upon the skeleton before me, and surrounded by letters of fire, 53f*I AM DEAD.~*aa (Illustrated by coffins and dag gers.) I gazed in horror, and exclaimed in petrified accents ; “ f believe ye, my boy,” and fainted. When I recovered myself (and my wallet) I found that I was trans- ’ ported to a subterranean dungeon beneath terra tirma. It had all the a place that was worse than the place, itself. There were blue lights, blue fellers and blue flames. Even “ the lights burned blue.” j The 4going paragraph states that. ; Any paragraph- might state the same thing. Brightly the “taller dip” can- 1 NO. 20 dies “ shone o’ef (through) tare wo meu and brave men ! ” W hen I had been taken inside the dungeon I felt that I was d<>ue. I was introduced to a baj-d crowd in hard times. They formed around me—the crowd, not the times—and in a deep sepulchral tone that shook the cave said : “ Whence comes this mortuary mortual, and is he trooly rural ? ” My conductor answered for me. and said, in tones of thunder—ami lightning: “He cao keep a hotel ; he can sing like a martingale, swim like an angel, gamble on tbe green, and is loil to the corps.” *' Let him pass,” said the Tycoon, who thought I hadn’t a “hill hand." I passed and found myself in the inner chamber, where I saw nothing but thunder; the veils of demons and the rattling of chains; I heard nothing but lightning, the flash of gnnpovvder and the hist ditch, awl I dreamed the dreams of the dreamy, A mangled corpse stood upon a pyramid of skulls, and holding in his right hand a coffin" find in his left hand a (pristine man) coughin’ two, exclaimed: “Mortual, I am the Bloody Butch er of the bogus plunderers of Raby* lon. Swear to keep our secrets or dye!” . As I didu’t care to die, I swore. Theu I was tetotally surrounded by demons as looked like devils, not one of whom bought their shirt? at MoCown’s, who shrieked: “ tie swears by the fiery flagon found iu ferocious furnaces by fel lers from Feliciana, that he does not, never, did, and never will agalrfj so help him Felis! ” I was then stabbed by a sipail sword, which was held in the hands of every demon in pantalets around me, theu dragged, boiled in a cauld ron, set upon a hot grid-iron, slid down a gangplank, walked over cakes-of ice mutilated by the hair Os my head, and finally tatooed and scalped! I was dragged through tubular boilers to the tune of the “ Roguo’s March,” stripped to the suit ofclbi.hes in which I was born, powdered to atoms, ami toki that I had a mission to perform to all outside barbarians —which it was to annihilate cvtgy living thing, ami to kill every de cade member of society. I acE-«ck ded.- “ Do you swear ? ” “ I swear ! ” J was tbcu clothed Ta habiliments of woe, thrust iulo a den of WOrirfs with only one bottie-of Mrs. Wioi lows soothing syrup, and toki to await the Impeachment Committee. VARIETY. A sap-headed boy Wrote to his sweetheart, who had slighted him that his brain was on fire, and received the following reply :" Blow it out.” * — This is the way a Chicago per announces a Fourth-or-July ora tion : “E. R. Sherman will tako the uncircumcised eagle by the tail, at Kewaunoe, on the fourth, and smite him thus.” Olivia thinks A. T. Stewart would be willing to colonize three hundred starving women on Cheap land in the South, so that they might plant trees and get rich* —An K oracle ’ v at Vow Orleans, discoursing on the wonders of the Mississippi, mentioned the iron cof fin of De Soto, containing the gold en trumpet given him by Queen Victoria. “ What! ’’ exclaimed one, “not Queen Victoria? ” “Yes, sir, Queen Victoria.” * a Why, site wasn’t born then by two hundred years or more.” ." I don’t care if she wasn’t,” was the bold reply, “I reckon she eoukl leare it in her will The Rev. Henry Ward Beech er said last Sunday: “Was there ever a boy who learned to smoke because he liked it ? Because he wanted tobacco ? What islt? God has set up a gate—-the most odious gate, through which erery smokor must pass, the gate of the temple of vomit; and through it tliey go, with retching infinite. Why is it? Meft smoke, and boys must bo like men; hence it id that we see *o many cigars going around the street with boys attached to them.” —The Rome Commercial says : Tom O’Connor and a friend were sleeping in the hotel at Dalton, when a thief stole tifrd hundred and fifty dollars. O’Connor walked down into the saloon of the hotel and looked around awhile and tingl ly walked up to a skooter standing by the bar and collaring him says : “ You are the man that stole my money. Give it up.” And tfre man, sure enough pulled it out ami paid it over. Rats. —A correspondent of the Germantown Telegraph says that the smell of a goat is obnoxious to the nostrils of rats; that the two won’t be friends and Companions on any aecouut whatever and that the introduction of goats to one’s barn or premises will cause an ina mediate stampede of all the rats. Being sadly plagued by rats, hegpt a couple of goats and has pot seen a rat for upwards of two years. A Yankee Will. — “Ths ?arij, earnest way iu which some Ydnfiees hate niggers afford really a curious subject for study.” The other day Mr. J. S. White died* leaving #7©. 000 to the University of Vermont at Burlington, upon ttie express con dition that no colored student should ever receive a dollar of it.
