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OL. VI.
SAVANNAH CARDS.
mm & mmmxL
WHOLESALE AND RETAIL
IROCERS
AND DEALERS IN
Fine Wines,
buORS & SEBARSf
I SAVANNAH, GA.
lepß-6m
|j. DaTftnt, Jr. W. D. Waplea
Julian Myeri.
Pnt, WAPLES & CO.,
COTTON & RICE FACTORS,
AND—
(MISSION MERCHANTS,
Savannah, Ga.
Liberal advances made on Con
mments.
Orders for Rice filled free of
ission, "with cash in hand.
•Wm. H. Ti*on. , Wm. W. Gordon.
'ISON k CORDON,
COTTON FACTORS
AND—
EMISSION MERCHANTS,
v 6Tum\ SAVANNAH, GA.
AGOING AND IRON TIES ADVAN
> CUD ON CROPS
liberal Cash Advances mnde on Consigu
nts of Cotton.
ireful attention to ail business and prompt
■ns guarateeil.
„ r «s-6m
H. STARK. H. P. RICHMOND.
W. H. STARK & CO.
WHOLESALE GROCERS,
COTTON FACTORS,
i— AND—
en’l Commissiou Merchants,
Savannah, Ga.
lareful attention given to
SALES OR SHIPMENT OF COTTON
And all kinds of Produce,
jeral Advances on Consignments.
Arrow and Eureka Ties.
At lowest Agent's prices,
keep constantly on band, a large Stock of
Pc of lIAGGING.
gents for
f Coes Super Phosphate of Lime.
H. H. JONES Agent,
iepl 6m Cuthbert, Ga
\ JOHN W. SUTLIVE,
WITH
joi t& McKenzie,
COTTON FACTORS,
MISSION MERCHANTS,
And General Agent- for the Sale of
SEA FOWL GUANO,"
Savannah, Ga.
GEORGIA HOME
VSUKAIVCE ۩MM 3Y,
COLUMBUS, GEORGIA.
ipital ..» $350,000
T. S. POWELL, Agent,
Cuthbert. Ga.
£otliei*s Read This'
THE EUREKS DIAPER
JUST THE ARTICLE NEEDED BY ID
ERY MOTHER WHO CONSULTS
THE HEALTH AND COMFORT
OF HER CHILD. }
HE EUREKA 23IAPE
designed as a shield to protect from
re the clothing and beddim; of children,
o the clothing of those who have the <
them. It is made thoroughly water-proof,'
sre being bo sewed seams, the threads of
rich rot when exposen to moisture.
THE EUREKA DIAPER is so constructed
to fasten below the stomach, and to con
■m to the shape of the child’s body ; there
re it is not liable to tall off, and conse
ently securely retains the linen diaper in its
ice, at-the same time giving perfect eas
d comfort to the child. One of die many ad
ntages of the Eureka Diaper is, that the
tiger and trouble of using pins is avoided ;
other is, that it permits a free
jof air. They are manufactured in rand
erent sizes, so as to suit the age and u'
ercuv* lo '- 0 ! «
the child, No. 1 being the smallest/ 118 pay
he largest. i presen 1
This Diaper has no equal, and teL /-i h
its favor are received from all pi£ ,
antry. It is highly recommend vessels to
men, and by mothers whose \Lgs in Uni
For "sale by T. 8. PO W paulerable col’
a favorable
BOOKS*- •Mlflingness to /
4 the shape pi*
ttteBSTEK &V -of Forei
* Hole The vote tr‘ ,ary ’
$ •teda&.D-”
£ > tpiedthmetic,
i i sGeographies,
1. a. --A* ELL’S, Trustee.
CUTHBERT APPEAL.
THE APPEAL.
PUBLISHED EVERT FRIDAY,
By J. P. SAWTEIX.
Terms of Subscription.:
Onk Year S3 00 | Six Months—s 200
INVARIABLY IN*ADVANCE.
nr Mo attention paid to orders for the pa
per nn'ess accompanied by the Cash.
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tion. A liberal deduction made to parties
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Persons sending advertisements 3hould mark
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"harmed accordingly.
Transient advertisements must be paid for
et the time of insertion. If not paid for before
the expiration of the time advertised, 25 per
cent, additional will be charged.
Annonncmtr names of candidates for office,
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Obituary notices over five lines, charged at
regular advertising ra*es.
All communications intended to promote the
private ends or interests of Corporations, So
cieties, or individuals, will fee charged as ad
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Job Work, such as Pamphlets, Circulars,
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All letters addressed to the Proprietor will
be promptly attended to.
Judge Mot Too Harshly.
BY J. VICK.
Wher you meet with one suspected
Os some secret deed of shame,
And for this, by all rejected,
Asa thing of evil fame,
Guard thine every look and action,
Speak no word ol heartless blame ;
Or the slanderer’s vile detraction
Yet may soil thy goodly name.
When you meet with one pursuing
Ways the 10.-t have entered in,
Working out his own undoing
With his recklessness ami sin,
Think, if placed in bis condition,
Would a kind word be iu vain ?
Or a look of cold suspicion
Win tbee buck to truth again.
There are spots that bear no flowers,
Not because the soil is bad,
But the summer’s genial showers
Never make their bosoms glad.
Better have an act that’s kindly
Treated sometimes with disdain,
Than by judging others blindly
Doom the innocent to pain.
The cruel and the bitter word
That wounded as it fell,
The chilling want of sympathy
We feel, but never tell.
The hard repulse that ehiHs the heart,
Whose hopes are bounding high,
In an unlading record kept,
These things halt never die.
If I only had Capital —‘‘lf I
only had capital,” a young man
said as he puffed a ten cent cigar,
“I would do something”
“ If I only iiad capital,” said an
other, as He walked away from a
dramshop, “I would go into busi
ness.”
Young man with the cigar, you
are smoking your capital. You
from the dramshop are drinking
yours and destroying your body at
the same time. Dimes makes dol
lars. Time is money. Don’t wait
for a fortune to begin with Our
men of power and influence did not
start with fortunes You, too, can
make your mark, if you will But
you must stop squandering your
money, and spending your time in
idleness.
Impudent Questions. —To ask
an unmarried lady how old she is.
To ask a lawyer if he ever told a
lie.
To ask a doctor how many per
sons he has killed.
To ask a minister whether he ev
er did anything very wrong.
To ask a merchant whether he
ever cheated a customer.
To ask a young lady whether
she should like a beau.
y.srPf)tE.—lf r d ' tor t^ie name an y
!ht bein'’air* j$ londentS
?white or red, (.Subscriber if he has paid
ftH all. Use Chi
ll is remedied. >
Y New York.
jnd Sweetest hings you will not be sor
flaziird & Cw
J>m fresh, se*
Y& Cos. Nr hearing before j udging.
|prefe7it'to thinking before speaking.
holding an angrv tongue.
%>rous Kid t . ~ „ ...
•As equal to -stopping the ear to a tattler.
JbUlT* to kick a fallen man.
eing kind to the distressed.
n Ta p ibeing patient to all.
• 1 gooH to all men.
mtjflBERT, Gi-asking pardon for wrongs.
ea'ention to all speaking evil of no man.
___ „, being courteous to all.
For paying the Printer.
A young lad who was ealled as a
witness was asked if he knew the
nature of an oath, and where he
would go if he told a lie. He said
he supposed he should go where all
Layers went.
'abh * —**’“ .
t eci A man at camp meeting out
befest boasted that he had been
> haiarned twenty five years
which time he had not
given his wife a cross word or look.
He forgot to tell his hearers that he
dared not do one or the other.
A properly constituted head
can accommodate itself to whatever
pillows the vicissitudes of fortune
may place under it.
CUTHBERT, GEORGIA, FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 2, 1872.
Saved l>> Lightning.
“It looks like a shower, don’t it
Reuben ?” said a young, fair-look
mg matron, standing in the door
way pf a cabin just as the sun was
drooping behind the treetops to the
west.
A young man, hardy and strong,
was coming up from the “clearing,”
down by the river, with the axe he
had been wielding all through the
day, thrown over his shoulders.
These words from his wife saluted
his ears as he came near, and caused
him to turn his head and glance
away tb the southward, where a
great bank of clouds were piled
high against the evening sky.
“Yes Ruth, it does look iike it,”
he .answered. “I thought I heard
it thunder just before I left work,’’
“What have you seen to shoot
Reuben,” she said, “Don't go out
again to night, for supper is waiting
now.”
“I am not going,” he answered
quitely “I am only making sure that
my rifle is in good order. But still
I may have occasiuu to use it be
fore morning.”
The young wife turned pale.
“You don’t mean to say the sav
ages are here again?” she said.
“Aou may as well know the truth
at once, Ruth,” said her husband,
looking her full in the face. “There
are redskins hanging about here,
and I’m afraid they mean us mis
chief. I’ve seen no less than three
at one time within an hour, skulling
along io the edge of the wood.
Their motions tell me that we had
better be on our guard to night.
“Oh, Reuben, what shall we do?”
and her eyes sought the bed, where
a rosy cheeked boy of some two
summers was lying fast asleep.
“We must do the best we can.
The cabin is stout an strong, and I
doubt about their being able to
break in should they try it. But
you must have a lot oi
Ruth May be it won’t be needed,
and I hope it won’t Now let us
make sure that the cabin is all
tight, and then we will have that
supper which you say is waiting.”
The heavy oaken shutters of the
two small windows were put in
place, and made secure there, then
the dooi was closed and barred,
and a large stick of timber that
was kept for that purpose plac
ed against it. When the prep
arations had been completed,
Reuben announced that be was
ready for his supper. This was
soon placed upon the table, and it
must be coniessed that the danger
which hovered over them did not in
the least diminish his appetite. But
Ruth could hardly swallow a
mouthful, and she wondered how
it was that her husband could.
The darkness increased, and the
sound of distant thunder broke
upon their ears. Through a clink
in the shutter they saw that the
cloud in the south was fast rising
and spreading itself over the neav
ens.
“Hark!” said Reuben; “what
was that ?”
Both were silent, and holding
their breath to listen. In a mo
ment the sound was repeated It
was a footstep’ wilhout.Ruth trem
bled with apprehension. Then
another and another was heard.
The redskins were about the cab
iu.
“They have come,” cried Ruth
in a low tone.
“Yes,” said Reuben. “Hark !
let us see what they mean to do.”
A minute later, and the door was
shaken violently. Then a savage
without exclaimed, in broken En
glish, “White man open door ;
Ingins to come in.”
To this appeal Reuben made no
answer. He had no idea of grant
ing the request, and the words he
knew would do no good. Again
the demand was made. But, as
before, no answer was returned.
Then there came a few moments of
silence on their part. The tempest
was coming. Suddenly there came
so fearful a blow upon the door
that it made the entire cabin trem
ble, while Ruth gave utterance to
a shrill cry of alarm.
“Courage,” said her husband ;
“they are trying to batter the door
down, but I hardly think they can
do it.
“It is not for myself I fear,” she
said.
“It is for our child, Reuben.”
“We will do our best to save
him, and our own lives,” he answer
ed. “Even though the door give
way, with my rifle I can do much
to save us ”
Once more a terrible blow was
dealt upon the door, and at the
same moment came a vivid flash of
lightning, followed by a peal of
thunder that seemed to shake the
solid earth. So tremendous was
the blow the savages dealt that the
prop against the door gave way
and fell from its place, and the door
itself trembled as though it was
coming down. The heart of Reu
ben sank within his breast. An
other such a blow must place them
at the mercy of the savages. Only
his rifle would stand between them
and death. But at this moment
Providence interposed its hand. As
though the peal of thunder had been
a signal for the tempest to com
mence, the rain came down in tor
rents. Not knowing the execution
their last blow had done, the sava
ges hesitated as the storm broke
upon them.
A little way from the cabin stood
a large oak that the settlers had
spared for its beauty and grateful
shade. To the shelter of this the
savages fled, to wait until the tem
pest was over. Thus our friends
had a respite for a time. Hastily
Renben replaced the prop, and did
his best to make the door secure
again.
Suddenly there came a vivid flash
of lightning, followed by a report
that seemed to shake the earth as
though it was a leaf suspended in
mid-air. For a long time they sat
half dazed and stunned by the re
port; and when at last they were
themselves again, the rain had ceas
ed. A bright light shone without,
and Reuben once more gazed
through the crevice to see what it
meant.
The ouk was riven into a thou
and fragments, and its trunk was
on fire. Scattered among the debris
lay the mangled forms of the sav
ages. The same .blow that had
blasted the oak, had deprived them
all of life.
Ladies Leap Year Privi
leges.
According to a time-honored le
gend the ladies have been accorded
certa’n privileges and prerogatives
during leap year which they are
supposed not to enjoy every year.—
They do not always, of course, avail
themselves of these liberties, but
they all know wha f their rights are
and do not fail to mention them
even when they do not claim them.
They hold them in reserve as a sort
of nronace of what they could do if
they chose.
luour searches the other day
throtgh the musty records of the
past we found a privilege accorded
the ladies which perhaps all do not
knov. The young ladies may be
interested in knowing that the priv
ilegeof “popping the question” is
not tie only one leap year accords
to than, but there is a penalty at
tache! to refusals.
If i< the course of the present
year, : young lady should so far
forget herself as to suggest a union
between herself and a bachelor ac
quaintjnea, who should be uncivil
enough to decline her proposals,
she eoud thereupon demand ofhim
the giftof anew silk dress. But to
claim tbs dress with propriety she
must, atthe time of asking, be the
wearer >f a scarlet petticoat, the
lower potion of which she must ex
hibit to tie gentleman, who, by the
law of les> year, is compelled to
present tb lady with a dress that
shall cove the petticoat and as
suage her lispleasure atthe rejec
tion of he; proposals.
This ma[ be the reason why scar
let skirts ne being worn so much
within theast few days, and per
haps we my infer that the ladies
propose tonsist on their rights and
inflict the pnalties prescribed by
the law.
These pualties are somewhat
expensive, ad we advise any gen
tleman who elieves he is selected
as any lady’srietini to give her a
wide berth ad make it convenient
to disappear around the nearest
corner when h sees her approach
ing.
Bachelors wl have to fight shy
this^ear.
—An IrishiAn, being annojed
by a howling dog in the night,
jumped out of bed to dislodge the
offender. It \Ms in the month of
January, when he snow was three
feet deep. He lot returning, his
wife ran out tosee what was the
matter. There He found her hus
band, in his nigt suit, his teeth
1 chattering, and Is whole body al
most paralized dth cold, holding
! the struggling og by the tail,
i “Holy mother, Pat,pid she, “what
vvnd ye be afther qing?” “Hush,”
s said he, “don’t ye \e ?—l’m tryin
5 to fraze the baste !”
Hard Times and What
. Causes Them.
We are fast becoming a nation of
schemers to live without genuine
work. Our boys are not learning
trades; our farmer’s sons are crowd
ing into cities, looking for clerkships
and Post Offices ; hardly one Amer
ican girl in each hundred will do
husework for wages, however ur
gent her need; so we are sending to
Europe for workmen and buying of
her artisans millions worth of pro
ducts that we ought to make for our
selves. Though our crop of rascals
is heavy we do not grow our own
hemp ; though we are overrun with
lads who deserve flaggellation, we
import our willows. Our women
(unless deceived) shine in European
fabrics; oui men dress in foreign
elothes ; the toys which amuse our
younger children have generally
reached us over the sea. We are
like the farmer who hires his neigh
bor’s son to chop his wood, feed his
stock, and run his errands,
while hE boys lounge at the grog
shops, playing billiards, and then
wonders why, in spite of his best
efforts, lie sinks annually deeper and
deeper into dept, till the Sheriff
cleans him out, and he starts West
to begin again.
We must turn over anew leaf.
Our boys and girls must be taught
to love labor by qualifying them
selves to do it efficiently. We must
turn out fewer professionals and
more skilled artisans, as well as food
growers. We must grow and fab
ricate two hundred millions worth
per annum, that we now import, and
so reduce the foreign debt that we
have so long and succesfully aug
mented year by year. Wo must
qualify our clever boys to erect and
run factories, furnaces, rolling-mills
tanneries, machene shops, etc. ; to
open and work mines, improve and
fashion implements, and double the
present product of their father’s
farm. So shall we stem the tide of
debt that sets steadily against our
shores, and cease to be visited and
annoyed by hard times.
Etlitors— Their Enemies
and tlieir Politics.
Under the above caption, the El
dora Ledger says: “There is no ta
ble in the census blanks to set forth
and show how many “great men” in
public life have reached eminence
and wealth through the potentiality
of the pen editorial. It would be
rendering to Caesar, if honorable
mention could be made of the ob
scure country editors, who have
used their ink to build up the town,
their brains to elevate some insig
nificant country merchant, or first
class demagogue to seats in the leg
islature or places in congress. The
press of lowa is responseble for
boasting up more human frauds in
to high places than its conductors
think. Not more, thankless opera
tion is known than that of the par
tisan editor, who in many cases has
to eat dirt and go naked ; toil hard
to keep the hands of an uncircum
cised sheriff from his office ; who
steps into the breach when charac
ter is to be lost, ( and contumely won;
who is continually at tvork to make
popular men and prominent candi
dates out of certain pismires, which
abound in all neighborhoods. Per
haps they never thank him for his
pains, and certainly never remuner
ate him for the ink with which he
extols their honesty, talent and pa
triotism; and every week describes
their imaginary tributes of virtue,
temperance and truth. Despite
the fusilade of abuse from a dozen
cowardly andjealous cotemporaries,
he survives. By his server and
favor these creatures are all made
“honorable men.” He is button
holed by twenty of his patrons, who
insist upon the pledges that
they shall have bis support for an
office. They appeal to him by ties
of party and consanguinity and
when he falteringly declairsthat he
cannot support them at all at that
time, each threatens him with a
new paper, also to stop their sub
scription, withdraw their advertise
ments; and abuse the poor fellow
like a very drab. He has spent bis
time, his money, and his good
name to place these men in position—
His pearls were cast before swine
which turn and rend him. These
men al! grow in popularity and rich
es. In purse the editor is poorer
than when he commenced to “write
up” these noble, self-sacrificing
creatures, and his cares have in
creased a hundred fold. And the
long, windy, worthless speeches,
which he pubsished,, disgusted his
readers and lost for him many pay
ing subscribers.
One Hundred Tears Ago.
One hundred years ago, there
was not a single white man in Ken
tucky, Ohio, Indiana and Illinois.
Then, what is the most flourishing
part of America was as little known
as the country around the myste
rious mountains of the moon. It
was not' until 1767 that Boone left
his home in North Carolina to be
come the first settler in Kentucky.
The first pioneer of Ohio did not
settle until twenty years after.
Canada belonged to France, and the
population did not exceed a million
and a half of people. A hundred
years ago great Frederick of Prus
sia was performing those grand ex
ploits which have made him im
mortal in military annals, and with
his little monarchy was sustaining
a single-handed contest with Rus
sia, Austria and France, the three
great powers of Europe combined.
Washington was a modest Virginia
colonel, and the great events of his
tory or the two worlds in which
these great but dissimilar men took
leading parts were then scarcely
foreshadowod. A hundred years
ago the United States were the most
loyal part of the British Empire,
and on the political horizon no
speck indicated the struggle which
within a score of years thereafter
established their geat republic of the
world. A hundred years ago there
were but four newspapers in Amer
ica! Steam engines had not been
imagined, and railroads and tele
graphs had not entered into the re
motest conception of men. When
we come to look back at it through
the vista of history, we find that to
the century just passed has been al
lotted more important events,in their
bearing upon the happiness of the
world, than almost any other which
has elapsed since the creation.
Curious Facts Auout Words.
—An educated Englishman, who
has been at a puplic school and at
the university, who reads his Bible,
his Shakspeare, and the “Times”,
seldom uses more than three thous
and or four thousand words in
actual conversation. Close reasoners
and thinkers wait for the word that
exactly fits their meaning, employ
a large stock, and eloquent speakers
rise to the command of ten thousand.
Shakspeare produced all his plays
with fifteen thousand words,Milton’s
works are built up with eight thous
and, and the Old Testament says
all it has to say with five thousand
six hundred and forty two words.
Suddex Death. —No man dies
suddenly. Death surprise no man,
but gives all men sufficient warning
and notice. 'Do ye complain of
sudden death,that have carried death
about ye ever since ye were born ?
That have been entertained with
daily spectacles of carcasses and
funerals ? That have heard so many
sermons upon the subject, and read
so many good books on the frailty
of death ? Do ye not know that
every moment ye live brings ye
nearer to your end? Your cloths wear
out; your woods and your houses
decay; and yet ye look that your
bodies should be immortal! What
are the common accidents and
diseases of life but warnings oto
provide yourself for a remove?
Going to Law.—A faimer cut
down atree which stood so near the
boundary line of his farm that it
was doubted whether it belonged
to him or his neighbor. The neigh
bor, however, claimed the tree and
prosecuted for damages the man who
cut it down The case was seut court
to court. Time was wasted, temper
soured and friendship lost; but the
case was finally gained by the prose
cution. The last we heard of the
transaction was that the man who
gained the cause went to the law
yer’s office to execute a deed of his
whole farm, which he had been
compelled to sell to pay his costs.
Then houseless and homeless, he
thrust his hands into his pocket and
tiumphantiy exclaimed: “I’ve beat
him!” ______
A colored preacher, in discours
ing to his people on the efficacy of
earnest prayer, delivered himself
in this manner: “I tell you, bred
ren, ’tis prayer what gibs de debil
de locked jaw.”
A Kentucky girl says when she
dies Bhe desires to have tobacco
planted over her grave, that the
weed nourished by her dust may
be chewed by her bereaved lovers.
There is poetry in the idea.
A lady in a menagerie, being
asked why she so closely seanned
the elephant with her opera glass,
replied that she was “looking for
| the key-hole to his trunk.”
Be Social at Home.— Let parents
talk much and talk well at home.
A father who is habitually silent
in his own house may 7 be in many
respects a wise man ; put he is not
wise in his silence. We somtimes
see parents, who are the life of
every company which they enter,
dull, silent, uninteresting at home
among the children. If they have
not mental activity and mental
stores sufficient for both, let them
first provide for their own house
hold. Ireland exports beef and
wheat and lives on potato# : and
they fare as poorly who reserve
their social charms lor companions
abroad, aud keep their dulluess for
home consumption. It is better to
instruct children and make them
happy at home than it is to charm
strangers or amuse friends. A
silent house is a dull place for
young people— a place from which
they will escape if they can. They
will talk or think of being “shut
up” there; and the youth who does
not love homo is in danger.
To Keep Sausage Fresh.—
When the meat is first prepared and
seasoned, it will not be necessary to
stuff it in anything, but just make
it oitt in cakes of covenient size
then ffy it (but not very hard or
brown) in pure lard, aud pack it
closely in jars or in cans, and all the
interstices with the hot gravy, and it
will remain as fresh and sweet as
when first cooked for any length ot
time desired. When needed for use
it can be warmed or refried io the
same lard or gravy 7 , at plesure.
By adopting this simple and certain
plan, all families that pickle their
own pork or beef may be independ
ent of the market for a fresh sup
ply of fresh sausage iu season ; and
such as do adopt it will not be like
ly to forget it or neglect it after
wards, for the principle and
the result will both commend them
selves to the judgment and confi
dence of all that give it a fair trial.
Chickcnology. — Why is a hen
immortal? Her son never sets. Why
have cliickens no hope in the future?
They have their next world (necks
twirled) in this. Why is a hen on a
fence like a cent? Head on one side,
tail on the other- Why don’t hens lay
at night? They are roosters. Why
is the first chicken of the brood like
the mainmast of a ship? A litle
forward of the main hatch. Why is
a chicken just hatched like a bull’s
tail? Never seen before. Why should
not a chicken cross the road? It would
be a fowl proceeding. If a ship cap
tain had no eggs what would he
po? Lay to (two). And to cooelud a
hen is a poor economist,because for
every grain she gives a peck
Lima Beans Without Stakes.—
Mr. McAfee, Superintendent of the
University of Wisconsin Experi
mental Farm, informs the Western
Farmer that for three years past he
has grown Lima beans without poles
or stakes, by persisteDt pinching
back after reaching the desired
height—about that of common bunch
beans. He is confident the crop is
very perceptibly earlier, and thinks
it is increased in quality—the plant
being checked in its growth of vine,
expending its energy in fruit pro
duction. Oo the farm we saw some
so treated that were well loaded
with fruit
Newspaper Business. From
an editorial article in the Richmond
Whig upon this subject, we make
the following extract:
“A long observation and experi
ence have satisfied us that there is
no class who confer so many bene
fits upon the public and are so poor
ly rewarded as newspaper men.”
“Nothing is more prevalent than
unreasonable complaint about the
price of newspaper subscriptions.
Many persons, indeed, appear to
think that they not only have the
privilege of directing the course of
the paper they take, but that it
ought to be furnished to them for
nothing.
“Few people have any concep
tions of the vast expense and infinite
trouble connected with the publica
tion of newspapers, of the number
of persons employed in the differ
ent departments, and of the vigi
lance, unremitting labor, perplexity
and wear and tear of feeling en
tailed. Every week the bills have
to be paid. There is no rest, day
or night. When other people are
abed and asleep, newspaper people
are at work.”
Josh Billings says : “Eight won’t
go into six and have any thing left
over. Many a young fellow has
found this out by trying to get a
number six boot on.”
NO. 5
A Utah girl fell dead from tight
lacing.
Nebraska has an editor who is so
lazy that he spells wife, y£
Mr. Dadd, of lowa, is the “dad”
of nineteen children—eight pairs
and thiee aces.
—An Irish remedy for baldness
is “to rub whiskey on the bead
until the hairs grow out, then take
it inwardly to clinch the roots.”
—What is the difference between
a fool and a looking glass? One
speaks w ithout reflecting, aud the
other reflects without speaking.
Somebody advertises for agents
to sell a work entitled “Hvmenial
Instuctor. ” A contemporary
adds : '‘The best bymenial instruc
tor we know of is a young widow.
“The strongest propensity in a
woman’s nature,” says a careful
student of the sex, “is to want to
know what is going on, and the
next is to host the job. ”
A western poet sings : “The
melancholy days have come, the
saddest of the year; when it’s too
rough for whisky slings, too cold
f»r lager bee.r”
So necessary is fun to the mind,
that a late philosopher said if you
should build schools without play
grounds nobody would get beyond
short division in a lifetime.
It is cheerful to be sitting in a
railroad car, going at the rate of
foity miles an hour, and have a
man pass through the Lain and
put a tract rin your lap entiled,
“Prepare to Meet Your God. ”
A Sunday School teacher “out
West,” upon inqiring of one of bis
juvenile pupils what he had learned
during the week was electrified by
the answer- that he had “learned not
to trump bis partner’s ace.”
—A man in South Hadley, who
has just got out of a lawsuit, wants
to obtain a large framed picture of
a cow, with one client at the head
and the other at the tail, pulling,
and the lawyers meanwhile quietly
milking.
—A California mail requested his
wife, in a ball room, to hold the
baby of another man's wife while
he danced with the baby’s mother
—but she didn’t hold it. Some
wives are too disobedient to put up
with !
—Some one wrote to Horace
Greeley inquireing if guano was
good to put on potatoes. He said
it might do for those whose tastes
had become vitiated with tobacco
and rum, but he preferred gravy
and butter.
—But one false step, one wrong
habit, one corrupt companion, one
loose principle, may wreck all your
prospects, and all the hopes of those
who love, honor, and regard^you.
—“So you are going to keep a
school?” said a young lady to her
maiden aunt. “Well, for my part,
sooner than do that I would marry
a widower with nine children.” “I
would prefer that myself,” was the
quiet reply, but where’s the wid
ower ?”
The St. Louise girls were so
badly frightened by the experience
of one of their number who dislocat
ed her neck while resisting a kiss that
now they hold their lips in the
softest and most comfortable position
when ever they see a man anywhere
near.
A negro waiter, who had twice
awakened a traveler to inform him
that breakfast was ready, and a
third time broke his slumbers by
attempting to pull off the bed-clothes,
thus explained : “ Massa, if you isn't
g srinetogit up, I must hab de
sheet anyhowe, ’case dey’re waiting
for de table dos.”
A litle boy was recently presented
with a toy trumpit, to which he
became greatly atached. One night
when he was about to be pat in his
“litle bed,” and was ready to say his
payers, he hunded the trumpet to his
grandmother, saying: “Here, gran’-
ma, you blow while I pray l”
A divorce suit between parties at
Benington, Vt., was on Thursday
put over until the J une term of the
court. It places the woman and a
young man in peculiar circnm
stances, as they expected the divorce
would be granted, and bad arranged
to be married on New Year’s day.
The parties had even purchased
their bridal outfit.
How to ruin a Son. —l, Let
him have his own way. 2, Allow him
free use of money. 3, Suffer him
to roam where he pleases on the
Sabbath. 4, Give him full aoaess to
wicked companions. 5, Call him to
no account of evenings. 6,
Furnish him with no stated
employment.