Cuthbert weekly appeal. (Cuthbert, Ga.) 18??-????, June 14, 1872, Image 1

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Cuthbert weekly appeal., June 14, 1872, Image 1

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Newspaper Page TextVOL. VI. THE APPEAL. PUBLISHED EVERY FRIDAY, By J. P. SAWTELL Terms of Subscription: ON'S? Year. ...$3 00 | Six Months. ...$2 00 INVARIABLY IN ADVANCE. XW -No attention paid to orders for tbe pa per iin’ess uocompanled by the Cash. Rates of Advertising Lne square, (ten lines or less.) $1 00 for the 'first and? 5 Cents for eaoh subsequent inser 'tion. A liberal deduction made to parties Who advertise by tlie year- Persons sending advertisements should mark the number of times they desire them inser ted, or they will be continued until forbid and -'barged accordingly. • • Transient advertisements must be paid lor 'at the t ime of insertion. If not paid for before the expiration of the. time advertised, 20 per 'cent.'additional will be charged. Announcing names of candidates for oihce, 00. Cash, in all cases. Obituary notices over five lines, charged at ‘regular advertising ra*es. All communication’s intended to promote the ends or interests of Corporations, So cieties, or individuals, will be charged as ad vertisements. __ , ■ _. Jon Work, such as Pamphlets, Circu.ars, Cards, Blanks, Handbills,etc.,will be execu ted m good style and at, reasonable rates. All Utters addressed to-tjie Proprietor will be promptly attended to. Johnny’s • Opinion o< Grandmothers. Grarfdmotherji are very nice folks ; They beat all tbe aunts in creation ; They Ut a cintp do as be likes. And don't worry about education. I'm sure I can’t see it at all, ■ What a poor fellow ever could do For apples, pennies and cakes, Without a grnndmotbev or two.- Grandmothers speak soltly to “ ma's” To let a boy have a good time - ; Sometimes they will whisper, tis true, T’other way when a boy wauts to climb. Grandpiotheis have muffins for tea, And pies, a whole row, in the cellar, And they’re npt (if they know it in time) To make chicken-pies for a ‘'feller. Amkif he is bad ilow and then. And makes a great racketing noise, They only look over their specs, And say “ Ah, these boys will be boys. *• Life is only so short in the best; Let the children be happy to-day,” ’Then they look for a while at the sky. And the liill&.that are far, far away. Quite often, as twilight conic on. Grandmothers sing hymns, very low, - To themselves,-as the rock by the fire, About heaven and when they shall go. And then, a boy stopping to think; , Will find a hot tear indits eye, To know what wilt come at the last; For grandmothers all have to die. I wish they Could stay here and pray, For a boy needs their prayers ev’ry night; Some boys more tlian-othcre, I s’pose ; Such as 1 need a wonderful sight. [Little Sower. Sunshine in Dwetlixgs. —The time will very likely come when sunshine, sunlight will bo so util ized as to be the entire remedy used for very many diseases. That it is a wonderful vitalizer, none can ‘doubt who knows anything about it. But how many houses arc con structed with a view to get all the sunshine possible, especially when so much is heeded as in winter and spring? The living, or sitting room, at these seasons of the year, at least, should have a.full southern exposure, with large windows to let in the sunshine. Sleeping rooms, wardrobes, closets, passage-ways, should receive the cleansing, vivify ing influence of -the sun. Sickly persons should court the sunshine as much as possible—sit in it, luxu riate in it. It does not cost any thing, only appreciation. • A room warmed neither by tbe sun, nor by tire, is unhealthy, and not tit for habitation. It is a poor theory that sends men, women or children off into a cold room to sleep,, on health principles, When warmth has been excluded- for a clay or a week, perhaps months.— Tbe change in the -temperature of a room having both fire and sunshine, after the sun goes down, is exceed ingly marked. A perceptible chill is felt.. “ Your dress,” said a husband to his fashionable wife, “ will never please the men.”' “ I don’t dress to please'*men,” was the reply, '‘but to worry other women.” An Illinois man who was late ly arrested for obtaiuing money un der false pretences was discharged on his producing A receipt-showing that he had paid l his subscription in advance for thirty-six years. A Western man at a “ prayer meeting” said somewhat enviously : “ Br'o. Lawson can sing better than I can, but by the grace of Heaven I can fiddle his shirt oft’.” The receipt of eggs in Hew York city for nine mouths of 1869 averaged 1000 barrels per day. A barrel contains some eithty dozen or 960 eggs \ the aggi egate, there fore, was in one day nearly a mill ion. One thousand barrels of eggs, ait an average price -of 30 cents per dozen amounts to $24,000 per day, or $3,609,00*0 per annum. CUTHBERT Ml APPEAL. An Adroit Sell. One day a gentleman called at the store of Mr. Ralph Hardman, in Pawtcket, with a violin under his arm. He purchased a necktie, for which he paid fifteen cents, and then asked permission to le&ve his box while he did a few errandsdown town. Old Hardman—a dealer in new and second hand clothing—had no objection. “It is a violin,” «aid the gentle man, “which 1 prize very highly. It was given me,by an Italian, who died at my father’s house. * I beg of you to be careful of it, sir.” Mr. Hardman promised, and the pwner of the precious violin depart ed! Toward noon, while the old cloth ing dealer was very deeply engaged in the work of scllingasuit of shod dy for a bang-u 1 1 Pni3ian tricot, a stranger entered the store, a re markably well dressed man, with a distinguished look. The violin, bow was in sight upon the shelf, and as no one was near to prevent it the new comer slipped . around opened the. box and took out the instrument—a very dark hued and ancient looking one. “Hallo,” cried Hardman when he heard the sound of the violin, “what for you touch dat, eh?” The stranger explained that he was a professor—that he . was a leader of orchestra — and that he could never see a violin without trying it. And then liq drew the bow across' the strings, playing a few passages of a fine old German waltz. •<' •' “My soul,” he cried, after lie had run his lingers over the instrument awhile, “that is the bhst violin I ever saw. The.re is not a better one in the oity—a perfectly gen uine old Cremosa. I will give you a hundred dollars for it.” Ilarriman said it was not his. “I will give you a hundred and fifty ! Two hundred;” Mr. Hardman was forced to ex plained how the violin came to be left in the. store. The stranger had taken out his pocket book, and drawn forth two one hundred dollar bank notes. He put tnerti back, re marking : * “I must have the violin if money will buy it. When thq owner re. turns, will you ask him tb wait for me? If he can not wait, ask him to meet me here at 6 o’clock If he cannot do that, tell him to call at the office of the treasure Academy of Music, and iuquirc for the direc tor of the orchestra. .Will you'd© that? Hardman paid he would. “Hut,’’ suggested the stranger, “you need not tell the man what I said about his violin, nor what I’ve offered; becacuse he may have no idea of the treasures he possess es. You will be careful arid cir cumspect.” Tlj'e . stranger went, away, and Ralph Hardman reflected. In the courso of atrhour the owner of the violin returned, and asked for the box. But the shoddy man had been captivated by-the golden bait. “What wQuld’the gentleman sell his violin for f” At'first the*gentleman would not listen to tin; proposition ; but, after a deal of talk-, he confessed that he was not himself a professor, and could not well afford to keep such a validate instrument. lie would sell it for §175 not 'a -penny less. Ralph Hardman paid the money; and became the legal possessor of the violin, ready to take anywhere from §3OOJ.Q §SOO from the direct' or of the orchestra, as he might be able. But the director did not come. At the end of a week, Hardman carried the volin to a- professional friend, and asked him what was'its real value. His friend examined it, and said : ‘*T wo ’dollars and a half, without the box.” - ' • . Ralph Hardman was strongly of the opinion that tire gentleman who left the violin in his possession- was a swindler, and that the director was a partner in the business, -and that, altogether, they had made hiyi their victim. That night shoddy was marked up ten per cent. A newly married woman, of genteel appearance, went into . a furniture shop a few days since, and inquired for a family fruit bas ket. She was shown a large cra dle, which was just what she want ed,. An old bachelor recently gave the following toast: “ Woman—the morning star of'infancy, the day star of manhood, and the evening star of age. Bless our stars, and may they always be kept at tele scopic distances.” CUTHBERT, GEORGIA, FRIDAY, JUNE 14, 1872. The Bridal Wine Cup. - ‘Pledge with wine—pledge with wine !’ cried the young thoughtless Harvey Wood; ‘pledge with wine !’ ran through the bridal party. The beautiful bride grew pale— the hour had come. She pressed her white hands together, •and the leaves of the bridal wreath trembled on her brow, her breath came quicker, and her heart beat wilder. ‘Yes, Marion, lay aside your scru ples for thiff once,’ said the judge, in alow tone, going to ward.his daugh ter. ‘the company expect it. Do not so seriously infringe upon the rules of etiquette. In your own home do as you please me.’ Every eye .was turned toward the bridal pair.- Marion’s principles were well known. Harvey had been a convivalist, but of late his friends noticed the change in his manners, the difference in habits —and to night they watched him .to see, as they sneeringly said, if lie was down to a woman’s opinion so soon. Pouring a brimming cup, they held it with tempting smiles to ward Marion. She was very pale, though more composed; and her hand shook not as smiling back, she gracefully accepted the crystal tempter and raised it to her lips. But scarcely had she done so, when every hand was arrested by her piercing exclamation of ‘O! how ter ribble.’- What is it? cried ope and all, thronging together, for she had slowly carried the glass at arm’s length, and Was -fixed regarding as if it were some hideous object. Wait, she answered, while a light, which seemed inspired, shone from her dark eyes, ‘Wait, and I will tell you. I see, she added slow-' ly, pointing one jeweled finger at the sphrkling ruby liquid, a sight that beggars all description; and yet lis ten -1 will paint it for I can. It is a lovely’ Spot; tall mountains crowd ed with verdure rise in awful sub fimity around, a river runs •through and bright flowers grow'to the wa ter’s edge. There is a thick warm mist, that the sutr seeks vainly to pierce. Trees, lofty and beautiful waive to the airy motion of the birds; but there—a group of Indians gather; they flit to and fro, with something like sorrow upon their dark brows. And in their midst lies a manly form—but his cheek, hpw deathly; his eye, wild with the fitful fire of fevec. One friend stands, beside him—nay, I should say, kneels, for see, lie is pillowjng that poor head upon his breast. ‘Genius in ruins—Oh the high, ho ly looking brow! why should death mark it, and lie so young! Look how lie throws back the damp, curlsl see how clasped his hands! hear his thrilling shrieks for lrfe! m'ark how lie clutches at the'i'orm of his com panion, imploring, to be saved. - Oh, hear him call piteously his 'father’s him twine his fingers to : g'ether as he shrieks for his sister — his only sister—the twain of his soul—weeping for him in his dis tant'native land. ‘See,’ she exclaimed, while the bridal party shrank buck, the un tasted wine trembling-in their fal tering grasp, and the judge fell over powered, upon his seat —‘see! his arms are lifted to heaven—he prays, how wildly, for mercy! hot fever rushes through, his veins. The friend beside him is weeping awe struck; the dark men move silently away and leave the living and the dying together.’ There’ was. a hush in that prince ly parlor, broken only by what seemed a smothered sob from bis manly bosom. The bride stood yet, upright, with quivering lip', and tears steal ing to the outward edge of her lasli ’es. Her beautiful arm had lost its tension,-and the glass, with its little troubled red waves, came slowly toward Hie range of her vision. She spoke again; every lip was mute. Her voice was low, faint, yet awful ly distinct; she still fixed her sorrow ful glance upon the wine cup: Ht is evening now; the great white mopn is coming up and her . beams lie gently' on his . fore-head. lie moves not; his eyes are set in their sockets; dim are their pieVciug glan ces; in vain his friends whispers, the name of mother and sister—death is there. Death--and no soft hand, no gentle voice to bless ancl soothe him. His head sinks back! one con vulsive shudder—he isdvtad!’ A groan ran through the assembly. So vivid was her description, so un earthly her look, so inspired her maimer, that what she described seemed actually to have taken place then aud there. They noticed, also, that the bride groom “had. his face in his hands and was weeping. ‘Dead !’ she repeated again her lips quivering faster, and her voice more and more broken; there, without a shrovr-d, they lay him down in that damp reeking earth; the only son of a proud father, the idolized brother' of a fond sister. And he sleeps to day in the. distant country, with no stone to mark the spot. There he lies—my father’s son—my own twin brother! a vic tim to this deadly poison.’ ‘Father,* she exclainfed, turning suddenly, while the tears ran down her beauti ful cheeks, ‘father, shall-I drink it now?’ The form of the old Judge, was convulsed with agony. He raiied not hrs head, but in a smothered voice he faltered, ‘Ho, no/ my child —Ho!’ She lifted the glittering goblet, and letting it' suddenly fall to the floor, it was dashed into a thousand pieces. Many a tearful eye watched her movement, and instantaneously every wine glass was transfered to the marble table on which it had been prepared. Then as she looked at the fragments of crystal, she tur ned to the company, saying: ‘Let no friend hereafter, who loves me, tempt pie to peril my soul for wine. Hot firmer are the everlasting hills than my resolve, *G6d. helping me, never to touch or taste the poisoned cup. And him to whom I have giv en niy hand—who watched over my brothers dying form, in that solemn hour, and buried the dear wanderer there by the river, in that land of gold,—will, I trust, sustain ,me in that resolve. Will you not my hus band ? . • • His glistening eyes, his,sad, sweet smiles, was his answer. The Judge left the the room and when, un hour after, he returned, and with a more subdued manner took part in the entertainment of the . bridal guests, no one could fail to read that he, determined to banish the enemy at once and forever from his princely home. ** Those that were present at that \vcdding can never forget the im pressions so solemnly made. Many Irom that hour renounced the social glass.— ChrsUian Guardian. —Of “treating” • T. K. Beecher says: “How, boys, if.-you wish to be generous ami treat e?ich other, vvhy not select some other shop be sides the liquor Shop? Suppose, as you go by the post office, you say “CotnCj boys, come ip and take some slumps.” Those stamps will do your friends a real good, and will '' cost you no more than driuks all around.’ Or go by the tailor’s stjore and say, “Boys, come in and take a box of collars.” Walk up to the counter, free and generous, and say, “VVhat style will you have ?” W.hy not treat to collars as well as treat to driuks ? or co by a confectioner’s and propo.se to treat to chocolate drops all round ? or say, “I’ll stand a jack knife all round.” • - «lr - A touching incident is reported from Chattnooga. An utter stran ger called on a respectable farmer last week, and asked him if lus house had been fobbed during the vPaf.-The fai me, replied that it had. “I,?’ said the stranger “was one of the marauding party that did it. I took a little silver locket.” “That locket,” said the farmer bursting into tears,” had been worn by my little dead child,” “Here it is” replied the straDger visibly affect ed; “I’m rich ; let me make restitu tion ; here are §2O fox* your little son.” He.gave the farmer a SSO bill and received §3O in change.* An then wrung the farmer’s hand warmly and left. The farmer has since dried his tears and loaded his gun! • The §SO was • bad. : .. The following very perspicu ous and laconic manner of telling a plain story may be instructive to slanders': • "’Mother Jasper told me that she heard Grate Wood’s wiser say that John Hardstone’s aunt mentioned to her that-Mrs. Trusty was pres ent when the widow Barman said that Captain IlearteU’s cousin thought Ensign Doolittle’s sister believed* that Mrs. Oxby reckoned that Sam Trifle’s better half had’ told Mrs. Spaulding that she heard John Rheunei’’s woman say that her mother told her that Mrs. Rag stello had two husbands.” —At a concei’t recently, at the conclusion of the song, “There’s a good time coining,”, a country farmer got up and exclaimed :* “Mis ter, you couldn’t fix the date, could you r> Beware! Bewear of eating too much pie plant -pie. Beware of sitting in a draught when warm. Beware of sleeping too late in the morning. Beware of mets and women who talked too much. Beware of men wljp get drunk and beat their wives. Beware of marrying a woman you cannot support. Beware of buying more than you are able to pay for. Beware of drinking too much ice water in the summer. Beware of promising more than you are able to perform. Beware of sudden conversion, for disguises are easily put on. Beware of. men who have no line of principle, but who work from •policy. *.-.'. Beware of the person who never finds anything good in. his neigh bors. Beware of the preacher who says his route is the only one to Heav en. Beware of men who are idle and indifferent as to woik and result. Beware of men who drink evkry time they'are asked to. Beware of the girl who is ashamed of the kitchen, or to help her mother. Beware of every one who pro poses to do something simply for your benefit. Beware of men who say politics and money-making dre the same thing. Beware of doctors who caunot take their own medicines, or stand by their own party/ Beware of the boy who is too big to help his father, or who denies his relatives. Beware ol the man who cheats the printer or. refuses to take his county paper. • • Gux Powder. —A little sulphur, a • little charcoal, and a little nitre, ground together, and we have that wonderful mixture which rules, for good or for evil, the destinies of ■ men. When gunpowder is ignited, the’solid is almost instantly convert ed into gas,.which, were it fired under water, and the gas * cooled down to the ordinary temperature of the air, would be found to occu py 900 times the space of the solid powder. Gases . are,~ however, known to expand with an immense force when heated yand/rs the gass of gunpowder are, in ordinary, pro jected at a red heat, they are con sequently greatly expanded, amoun. ting, it is estimated, to more than 2,500 times the'volume of the pow der burned; and it is here we see whence springs the power of reject ion of firearms. Great are the evils of wars, the use of gunpowder has shortened their duration from years to days. Going a Fishing. The following is an “order for supplies” recently sent to an Amer icas (Ga.) grocer by a fishing ex cursion party: Dear Sir — a couple of friends leave this morning on a fishing excursion, and you will please send us, by bearer, the fob lowing -articles, which, if you pre fer it, you can charge to either Jack Brown or Ben Lockett. Ei ther is the - safest. Four pounds of salt and a small cask of whiskey. One pound of ground black pep per and a demijohn of whisky. Ten pounds of lard,‘and a large jug of whisky. * One canvassed ham and six quart bottles of whisky. Three good, stout fishing lines and three pocket flasks of whisky. One paper of large Dimeric* hooks, and a gallon of whisky in •any old vessel you don’t use about the store. . . Also, send one pound of white sugar and a small jug of whisky. Hurriedly, yours, Phil Cook. P. S. —As we shall be gone sev eral days, and as snakes are bad on the river at this season, my physician has just stepped in and suggested that we better take along a little whisky. Send it, and en* ter it on your books with other items above. • —An Indiana farmer, after try ing to trap, poison and shoot rats that over-rati his premises, bought two goats and gave them the range of yards arid stables. Within a week every rat emigrated and staid away until the goats were sold, nearly two years afterward, when they all canje back. A second sup ply of goats were procured, and since then not a rAt has been seen on the premises. •'X ' —’Josh Billings says that slan der is like a tin -kettle tied, to a dog’s tail—very good ftift as long; as it isn’t our dog. ' . • r Phil Cook A Good Word tor Romp* ■ng Gials. Most women have a dread of these, Mothers would rather their little daughters were called any thing but romps. They say to them, “be very quiet now, my dears—don’t run or jump, try and be little ladies.” As if a healthy child cold be still, as if it could take time to walk or step over what came in ita way; as if it could fold •its little hands in its lap, when its little heart is brimfhl of tickle. It is so absurd and wrong be cause it is unnatural. Children, girls as well as boys, need exercise, indeed they must have it to be kept in a healthy condition. They need it to expand their chest, strengthen their muscles, tone their nerves, and develop themselves generally. And , this exercise must be out of doors too. It is not enough to have ealisthemies in the nursery or parlor.—They need to be out in the sunshine, out in tbe wind, out on the grass, out in the woods, out of doors some where, if it be no bigger place than the common park. Suppose then they do tan their faces. Better be as a berry and have the bluses quick and strong, than white as a lillj' aqd complain of cold feet and headache. Suppose thoy do tear their clothes, tear them “every which way,” suppose they do wear out their clothes, a pair a month, even; it don’t try a mother’s pa tience and strength half so much to patch and mend it as it does to watch night after night a quarulous sick child; and it dont drain a father’s pock,et book half so quick, to buy shoes as it does to pay doc tors’ bills. The odds are all the side of the romps. Indeedj we don’t believe there is a prettier picture in all the wide world than that of a little girl, balancing herself on the topmost rail otazig zig fence, her bonnet on one arm and a basket of blackberries on the other, her curls streaming out in the wind, or rippling over her flushed cheeks, her apron half torn from her waist, and dangling to her feet, her fingers stained with the berries she has picked, and her lips with those she eaten. Mother, mother don’t scold thatJitlle creature when she comes in and puts her basket on the table, and looks Fuefully at the in her new gingham apron, and at the little bare toes sticking out of the last pair of shoes. Wash off her hot face and soiled hands, and give .her a bowl of cool milk and light bread, and when she has eaten her fill and got rested, make her sit down be side you and tell you what she has seen off in those meadows and woods. Her heart will be full of beautiful things—the sound of the wind, the talk of the leaves, the mu sic of the wild birds and the laugh of the wild flowers, the rippling of the streams and the coior of peb bles, the shade of the clouds and the hue of the sunbeams—all those will have woven their spell over her in nocent thoughts, and made her a poet In feeling, if not in expression. Ho, mothers,, don’t nurse up your little girls like house plants. The daughters of this generation are. to be the mothers of the next, and if you would have them healthy in body and genial in temper, free from nervous affections, fidgets and blues; if yon would fit then for life, itsj’oys, its cares, and its trials, let them have a good romp every day while they are growing. It is natures’ own specific, and, if taken in season, is warranted to cure all the ills of the _ • girl and the womah. Discontent. —Some people are neyer coDtent with their lot, let what will happen. . Clouds and darkness are over their heads, alike whether it rain dr shine. To them every incident is ail accident or a calamity. Even when they have their own way, they like it no bet ter than your way, and* indeed, consider their most vdiutitary acts as matters of compulsion. We saw a striking illustration the other day of the infirmity we speak of, in the conduct of a child about three years old. He was crying because his mother had shut the parlor door.— “ Poor thing,” said a neighbor, com passionately* “ you have - shut the child out.” “It’s all the same to him,” said the mother; “he would cry if I called him in and then shut the door. I’ts a peculiarity of Jhat boy, that if he is left rather sudden ly on either side of a door* he con siders himself shut out and rebels accordingly.” There are older ehil drea who take the same view of things.— Our Own fireside. • Till! Aiggin’s ISosaey ITlooii. •Seems to me things have chang ed Somewhat! Seems to me so — bust me up if it dop’t! I’ve been married near six months now, and the fact is, Susan shows the least bit'more temper than I thought she had ; in fact to speak the right down truth, she’s knocked things about generally for the last two months. She siting the cat through the window by the tail and would have thrown me out by the—heels, if I hadn’t walked out in a fast run.— She’s got as cross as four sticks, and says slie’ll use a half dozen sticks on my back if I don’t quit smoking in the house. And she threatened to throw a boot-jack down my throat last night because. I spit in the fire. If she had done that, I supposed I’d have the colic or boot-jack cramp. “Timothy P. Higgins,’* said I to myself, says I, “you’ve gone and done it, and you have got to put up with the. consequences, you have } come what will you can’t get out of it, you can’t.” A girl loses her beauty "mighty quick after she becomes Mrs. Su san Sunflower was«as pretty as Ve nus, but just as soon as I married her, her skin turned yellow, her eyes lost their beauty, her hair got thin, and she got to be just the shape of'an . ale cast; she has by jingo ! And O, what a happy tem per she has got ! Never knowed her mad before I married her;-, nor ever to offer to throw the stove or chair down‘anybody’s throat; no nevty, until she was Mrs. N'g gins;—Aunt says she’ll come‘out all right after awhile; I don’t see why she can’t bo all right now, I don’t; If she don’t improve, the Lord help me ! “Jist you spit in that fire again,” says she to me yesterday “jist do it again," and I’ll throw this stick of wood down your throat ! What did I marry you for? To run around after you, and make up the fire after you spit it out J You tor menting beast! Did I marry you to slave and work, while yoifsmokc and spit ia the fire ? There’s them chickens I had to feed, too; and there’s Ben Dyke’s hog got into the garden and dug up my seed beets and you never saw it; there’s that blamed old rooster scratched up my onion-bed, and you never saw it! And you never see nothing you ought to see'! There’s.Aun Bus ter, who was over here yesterday, I saw you wink at her ! L saw you Tim Higgins! Don’t you say you didn’t; I saw you—l saw you !” A Racy Examination, Tbe following racy examination of candidates for admission to the bar is taken from the Western Law Journal: The examination - commenced with: “Do you smoke ?” “I do-, sir.” “Have you a spare cigar ?” “Yes/sir,” (extended a short six) “How, sir, what is the first duty of a lawyer ?” “To collect fees.” • “Right. What is the second ?’> “To increase the number of cli ent.” •‘When does the position towards client change ?” “When making out a bill of costs.” “Explain.” “We then occupy the antagonist ic position. I become the plaintiff and he becomes the defendant.” “A suit decided* how do you stancj with the lawyer conducting the other side ? ” ‘‘Cheek by jowl.” “Enough, sir. You promise to become an ornamant to your pro fession, and I wish you success. Now, are you aware of the duty you owe me ?” “Perfectly.” “Describe it.” “It is to invite yoli to drink ” “But suppose I decline ?” Candidate scratches his head. “There is no instance of the kind on record in the books. I cannot answer the question.” “You are right. And the confi dence with which you iftakc the as sertion shows conclusively that you read the law* attentively’. Let’s have a drifik, and I will sign your certificate.” A thick-headed squire, being worsted by Sydney Smith, took his revenge by exclaiming, “ If I had a son who was an idiot, by Jove, ;I’d make him a parson.” “ Very prob able,” replied. Sydney, but I sec father was of a different riiiud.” HO. 24 How Indians Catch Ea gles. ' ' The son of a physician of Du buque, who is now stationed at Fort Buford, Dacotah ' Territory, has written a long letter to bis father giving some interesting items with regard to the Indians. An extract is appended : ‘ The camp of Indians which we visited' wore chiefly engaged iri catching war eagles, to make head dresses. They have a wooden lodge built in the camp where the medicine ceremony necessary to catch is performed. Ho woman is allowed to enter the lodge. They can come to the door and hand irt provisions, but must not cross the threshold. You will not be allowed to spit on the floor, and must sit in a certain position of the lodge;— You must enter and pass out at the north door. Wash and I were let in to see the ceremonies. When a man goes to trap the ea gles, lie first goes to the medicine lodge, and is not allowed to go to sleep until midnight; he then eats a little and sleeps until the' morn ing star riles. He, with his com rades, Ufcen go out to the traps without food or drink, and sit all day in tho traps watching for the eagles. At night they return and enter the modieino lodge, ainf at midnight only do they eat and drink, and break their long fast of twenty-four hours' duration. They then are allowed to sleep until dawn, when they go'out again, and stay four days, during which -time .they have food and drink four times and have never entered their own lodges or spoken to their friends, unless such as may be trapping with them. After the four days are up, they go back to. their lodges} lean, and tired and sleepy, and sleep and eat and hunt deer until they are able to try another four days’ trapping excursion. The ea gles are- brought alive into the camp, and after some ceremonj’' tho tails are pulled out, and they are let go to grow another tail for the next year. The traps consist of a hole in the ground covered with sticks and grass. A dead rabbity fox or prairie chicken is tied to the top; the eagle swoops down and fastens his claws into it and tries U> fly away with it, but the Indian (who is concealed in the hole) puts out his hand, catches tbe eagle by both legs, hauls him into the hole and ties him. He then fixes the top and waits for another eaaje-. We saw one man there who had caught six eagles in ono day in this way. They say if they do not fast and do their- medicine properly the ea gle will get one of his claws loose and tear their hands. Some have had their hands ruined forever in this way. If a man does not catch an eagle during the day, ho ia obliged to moan arid cry all night; we could hardly sleep with the noise made at night by the unsuccessful hunters. A Hew York schoolboy de fined a lady to be a growed-up girl who doesn’t cuss rior swear.” Why is a poor doctor like a mule ? Because you can track him by his holes in the ground; —A friend, who prides himself on his avei’sion to anything like- Blang, said he had taken an anti- Wiliiam-ous pill. —Man was created to search for truth, to love the beautiful, to de sire what is good, and to do what is best. . Some people act as if their debts were like coffee, and would settle themselves, in time by stand ing-' —An old sailor at the theatre said he supposed the dancing girls wore their di-esses half-mast as a mark of respect to departed mod esty. —“Prisoner, why did you follow this man, and beat and kick him so shamefully?” “I'm. sorry, your honor; I was a little drunk, and thought it was mv wife.”. A Hew Aork dentist disgust ed one oi bis patrons recently by requesting him not to open his niDuth any wider, as he intended to. stand outside during the perform ance. —A witness was examined be fore a judge in a case of slander, who required him to repeat the pre cise words spoken. The witness, fixing . his eye upon the judge, Be gan : “Alay it please your liprior you lie, steal, and get your livyjg by cheating.” The face of tho judge reddened, and he. exclaimed: “Turn your faCe to the jury,, sir, wfien you speak.’ r .