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T v/Xj« ti* Just Received. Pilli, - “ • • “ Alterative, “ Hair Tonic, •t Counter Irritant, “ Balsam Carminative, “ .Vertnitnue, , “ Ague Mixture, “ Xxpeoldrantl BRINOLIS Lemon SiMotr, , LII’MANS ijitrttttuarilla with. Sodide Po lucalutn. Hadwftv'* Sars*p-.n«liHii Resolvent,/ R. R. Relief, Uadway’s Pill*. Ayer's Sarsa parilla ann Ctierrv Pectoral, Harters Iron Tonic, Harter’s Luo* Balsam, Harter’s Pills, WilbofU Antiperiodic, Cholagogue. 1 aim er’s, Holton’s. Galligbau’s, Desbler’s, Slial lentccr’s, and Harter’s Fever and Ague flits. Parker’s Nerve and Bone, Mustang, Arabian and McLean's Volcanic Oil Liniments. WALKER’S Vinegar, Hostetler's, Plantation, Tuft’s, Brady's, Hoofland's German, Cnracoa, and English female Bitters. PAPER, PENS, INK. BLANK Books, PENCILS, Etc. Perfumery of all Kinds. Toilet and SUNDRY SOAPS. HAVE ON HAND, PURE Medicine, PAINTS, ‘ VARNISHES, LIQUORS, * OILS, TOBACCO and CIGARS. • Conte, you shall not leave dissatis fied as to prices or articles. Prescriptions carefully com pounded, at the Drug Store of j. j McDonald. PRESERVE YOUR SIGHT! THE CELEBRATED SCHAFFHAUSEN SPECTACLE AND EYE GLASSES, Manufactured at SCHAFFHAUSEN, Switzerland. The superiority of these Great Eve Pre servers consists in the careful Mathematical Accuracy in the construction of the La-a,sea, bsinjt wauutactitreii ot the Ifest White Flint. Glaus, the exact Shape of the Eve thus olivi- HtliiK all Glimmering and Wavering of the Sight, Dizziness, ami ait the other train of Kvils produced.by the Use of inferior specta cles. Every one whose sight is failing under stands us value. By buying iui;.<?tfeet spec taclcs you help to destroy it. BUY THE BEST! Buy the Schuffhausen Spectacles and preserve the Byes ichich are priceless, Imported only by COOPER & BRO. Philadelphia. For sale by T. S. POWELL, Trustee, Druggist, Bookseller ami Statioli.-r, Outiiuort, Ga. p&r These Spectacles are never sold by Peddlers. QLEAR AND Harmless as Water. TV TTAN’N CRYSTAL DISCOVERY OF THE Hair. A perfectly clear preparation in one bottle, ns easily applied as water, for restoring ki gray hair its natural color and youthful ap pearance, to eradicate and prevent .dandruff, to promote the growth of the hair and stop its falling out. It is entirely harmless, ami perfectly free from any poisonous substance, and will therefore take ihe place of all the dirty and unpleasant preparations uow in use. Numerous testimonials have, been sent as from many of our most prominent qitizetis.— In everything in which the articles now in use are objectionable, CRYSTAL DISCOV ERY, is perfect. It is w arranted to contain neither Sugar of Lead, Sulphur or Nil rate of «ilver, it does not soil theVlothes or bcalp, is agreeably perfumed, and makes one of the best dressings for the Hair ju use It restores the color of the Hair *■ more perfect and uni formly than anv otlier preparation,'’ and tl ways does so in from three t« ten days, vir dually feeding the roots ot the Hair with all ithe nourishing qualities neeessory to its growth and healthy condition ; it restores •he decayed aut! induce anew growth ot the Hair more positively than anything else.— The application of this .wonderful discovery also produces a pleasant and Cooling effect on • lie sculp and gives the Hair a pleasiug and •elegant appearance. Call at your druggist, for if and take no oth- - >cr If lie has not got it let liigi order it. Price $1 per bottle. ARTHUR NATTANS, .Inventor and Proprietor. Washington. D. C. JOHNSTON, HOLLOWAY, & CO., General Agents, Philadelphia. JOHN F. HENRY and F. C. WELLS & CO., New York, and to be had of wholesale •druggists, everywhere. WAREHOUSE NOTICE. WE respectfully offer our names to our . numerous Planting friend's and Cotton ■Dealers of Middle aud Southwest Georgia as COTTON FACTORS —AND— COMISSION MERCHANTS. In entering upon this businer a- success* •of Jonathan Colhu£&. Son, wed- s- with the firm determination bf doing our whole duiy, and flatter ourselves that, we are fully com petent for the siijtsiessful pr sefcuii .ti of this important trust, aiid hope hv strict attention to business, and Courtesy t<j our patrons, to merit their confidence and support. COLLINS, FLANDERS & CO.. sep6-3m 'Cotton Factors, Macon, Ga. AM TOD ABOIT TO PAINT ? IF SO. BUY MAXWELL & CLARKE S PURE LEAD Unequalled for durability, whiteness, body and fineness For sale by our agent, j. j. McDonald Cutlibm Ga. f 4 aug23-8w Bagging and. Ties, FOR SADE BY FORT & QUARTERMAN. THE APPEAL. PUBLISH EH EVERY FRIDAY, By J. P. SAWTELL. Terms of Subscription: O*E Year ...S?’Oft | Months. ~ .s l 25 iNVAIMAtIIA 1* ADVANCE. No attention paid to orders for the pa per un'ess accompanied by the‘Caßh. Rates of Advertising. 12 Months 6 Mouths. 3 Months. 1 Mouth. So. Sqr's. 1 3 3.0n 1 * o.ools 9.00 S 12.00 2 5.00 12.00 16.00 20.00 3 7.00 15.00 22.00 27.50 4 800 17.00 25.00 33.00 J- c 9.00 22 00 30.00 45.00 £ c 17.00 35.00 *SO 00 75.00 1 c 30.00 50 00 75.00 125.00 2 c j 50.00 75.00 One square, (ten lines or less.) $ 1 00 for the first end 75 cents for each subsequent inser tion. A liberal deduction made to parties who advertise by the year. Persons sending advertisements should mark the number of times they desire them inser ted, or they wiil.becontinued until terbidand '■barged accordingly. A Transient advertisements must be paid for At the time of insertion. If not paid for before the expiration of the tame advertised, 25 per cent, additional will be charged. Announcing names of candidates for office, $5.00. Cash, in all cases Obituary notices over five llpes, charged at regular advertising ra’es. All communications intended to promote the private ends or interests of Corporations, So cieties, or individuals, will he charged as ad vertisements. Job Work, eu<’h as Pamphlets, Circulars, Cards, Blanks. Handbills, etc., will lie execu ted in good sty le and at reasonable rates. All letters addressed to the Proprietor will he prnm'ptly attended to. Live for Something. Live for something : he not idle, Look about thee for employ. Sit not down to useless dreaming : Labor is the sweetest joy. Folded hands are ever weary, Selfish hearts are never guy. Life for thee bus many duties : , Active be, then, while you may. Scalier blessings in thy pathway : Gentle words and cheering smiles, Setter are than gold And silver, With their grief-dispelling wiles. As the pleasant sunshine falleth Ever oij the grateful earth, So let sympathy and kindness Gladden well the darkened hearth. Hearts there are oppressed and weary : Drop the tear of s; inpatby ; Whisper words of hope ami comlort; Give—and tby reward shall be. Joy'unto thy soul returning From this perfect fountain-head. Freely, as thou freely givest. Shall the grateful light be shed. Smothering Fires.— Extinction of lire by smothering is a method which deserves notice. When ala dy's chess eatci.es tire her usual course is to rush out of the room screaming for help, thereby caus ing the dames to spread over her, with great fury. If she were promptly to envelope herself in a table cover or other cloth—or some one were to do it for her—the tire would at Once go out for want of air. Again’, if window curtains catch tire, a common tendency for majikind is to rush out, shouting “Fire!” and “Help!” Reader, why mu: help yourself—especially if you be a man by finding out be forehand what is the best, course of procedure in the circumstances? You ought at once to tear the cur tains down, and throw Ihe rug or table-cloth on them. If you cannot do this, and must leave the room, don’t open the window, and by all means remember to shut the door behind you ; and thus, by cutting off the supply of air, at all events delay the conflagration its much ns you can. It is a matter of the greatest importance that a man slioqhl have a definite idea of what he will do, or attempt, in case ot fire Opinions may differ as to the best mode of action to carry out. — Nothing is more pitiful than to see any one rushing about shouting “Help!” and .wasting energy. — For a man to be,seen in such cir cumstances is'contemptible. After Dinner Naps. —An excel lent aid to digestion is the comfort able‘nap after dinner. Many per sons, particularly the middle aged and elderly, allow themselves this real indulgence, and the custom, if not carried to excess, is by many medical men considered beneficial rather than otherwise, as by keep ing the body in a state of qui. tude, digestion is promoted and assisted. In Southern countries the mid day sleep is almost universally ta ken, and wonderfully refreshes the frame, enervated and weakened by the intense heat. It is, however, recommended that such sleep be not indulged in to too great a length, as persons invariably find such prolonged slumber'iu the day time causes them to wake dull, irri table and unrefreshed; while most have experience, on having been ac cidentally roused up a few minutes after absolute forgetfulness, a sen sation of lightness and renewed vig or, unattended by peevishness, or the least desire to sleep again. Medical men, iu sanctioning the indulgence, particularly advise that it be taken in a reclining postuie, but by no means lying horizontally, the stomach in the latter position, pressing on the intestines, and caus mg the blood to be impelled to the head. Corpulent persons, and those who have a tendency to apo plexy should be particularly mind \ ful of this point. Hints to Young Mothers^ The three requisites for babies are plenty of sleep, plenty of food, plefity of flannel. The saying that man is a bundle of habits is as true of babies as it is of grown children. If an infant is accustomed from its birth to sleep from six o’clock at night until daylight, the habit of early sleep will be formed, and tbe mother may'have all hei eveuings to herself. If the baby sleeps all night a long morning nap will naturally come about dinner time, after which the child, except when very young, should be kept awake until six o’clock. Pet severance in this rou tine will soon result in securing quiet evenings for both the child and parent. Some mothers have a long season every morning and every night in getting the baby asleep. They rock them and sing them till Morpheus enfolds them. With most children this is entirely unnecessary. An infant can be accustomed, by a few day’s training, to go to sleep itself lor a morning nap as well as for lon ger rest at night. A mother has duties to herself as well as to iter off'surtug.. While she should exercise a constant care in securing its utmost physical Comfort, she should secure rest and recrea tion for herself. In no other way can she keep fresh in feeling and buoyant in spirit. Nothing is so wearing as the uuceusiug tending of a fretful baby. Every means should be employed to aid the child in hiking care of itself and giving as little trouble as possible. It-may learn in babyhood to amuse itself with toys or by watching movements going on around it. Fashion as well as good sense re quires infant’s dresses to be made with long sleeves and high in, the neck. Fashion requires children of all ages to be warmly clad. Flannel should encase the whole boil}’, with the exception of tne head and hands? The fruitful cause of colic in infants is the nakedness of their necks and arms. * Regularity in feeding is as impor tant as either of the other requi sites. Rabies cry as often from be ing overfed too frequently as from hunger. Let the mother obey the dictates common sense in this man ner and not force food into a baby’s stomach for every little complaint 1 1 makes. Children Os three or four years old need much more sleep than they usually have. For irritable and nervous children steep is a specific, and it can be secured to them only by the force of habit. Many light forms of disease may be cured by keeping a child in a uniform tem perature and in quiet. Some Husbands— Some hus bands never'leave home in the morn ing without kissing their wives and bidding them “ good-bye,” in the tones of unwearied love,'aud wheth er it be policy or fact, it has the ef fect of fact, and tnose, homes are generally pleasant ones, provided al ways, that the wives are apprecia tive, and welcome the disipline in a kindly spirit. We know an old gentleman who lived with his wife over fifty years, and never left home without the kiss and the “good bye.” Some husbands will leave home without saying anything at all, but turn round at the last point of observation and wave an adieu. Some never say a word, rising from the breakfast table and going out with a heartless disregard of those left behind. Their wives seek sym pathy elsewhere. Some husbands never leave without some unkind look or word, thinking that such a course will keep things straight in their absence. Then, on returning, some husbands come home pleasant and happy, unsoured by the world ; some sulky and surly with its disap pointments. Some are called away every evening; some doze away in speechless stupidity until bed time. ‘ Depend upon it,” says Dr. Spoon er, “ that home is the happiest where kindness, and iuterest, and polite ness, and attention are the rule on the part of husbands.” Carving Character. —Have you ever watched a sculptor slowly fashioning a human countenance ? It is not struck out at a single blow. It is painfully and laboriously wrought. And thousand blows roughcast it. Ten thousand chisel points polish and perfect it, put in the fine touches and bring out the features and expression. It is a work of time, but at last the full likeness comes out, and stands fixed and unchanging in the solid marbel. So does a man carve out his own inoral likeuess. Every day he adds something to the work. A thousand acts of thought, and will, and efforts, shape the features and expression of the soul. Hab its of love, piety and truth, of false hood, passion, or goodness, silently mould and fashion it, till at length it wears the likeness of God, or the image of a demon. . lt has been generally supposed •that the original purchase of Man hattan Island for £25, in 1626, was a pretty good investment, but au Idle mathematician has made the discovery that, if the same sum had been put out at 10 per ceut. com pound interest, it- would have amounted by this time to ($26,560,- 962—a sum sufficient to buy sever al New Yorks, and nearly eqtlal to the valuation of the entire real and personal property in the United Stales at the present time. GUTHBERT; GEORGIA, FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 15, 1872. For Grammarians. The Hudson Register deals hu morously with a question of gram mar, as follows : “ A searcher after truth writes to us, ‘.Which is grammatically cor rect, to say ‘The house is building,’ or ‘The house is being built‘The street is paving,’ or ‘The street is being paved ?’ There is a wide di versity of opinion upon this subject, but we incline to favor ‘is being built,’ for the following reason : Suppose you wish to express anoth er kiud of idea, would you say, fot in stance, ‘Johnny is spanking,’ or ‘Johnny is being spanked?’ The difference to you may seem imma terial, but it is a matter of consid erable importance to Johnny; and it is probable that, if any choice were given him, be would suddenly select the former alternative. You say, ag'-ui, that the ‘missionary is eatin this expi esses a very different and much pleasanter idea than the form, ‘The missionary is being eaten,’ and the sensation is very different for the missionary, too. We have consulted several missionaries about it, aud they all seem to think that the two things are somehow not the same, no mat ter What the grammarians say. “ Hut it is to be confessed that there are occasions when the differ ence in the form is not so marked. You assert, we say, that “Hannah is hugging”—which, by the way, would be a very improper thing for Hannah to do; it would be posi tively scandalous, indeed. Pre cisely a similar idea is conveyed if you say, “ Hannah is being hugg ed,’’ because it is a peculiarity of the act that it is hardly ever onesi ded ; there is no selfishness about it. Aud it is the same with kissing.— “Jane is kissing”—and her mother ought to know about it if she is—is just exactly as it we say, “ Jane is being kissed and the sensation is the same, although none of the grammars, by a singular iniulvert ance, mention the fact, it will not be necessary, however, for our cor respondent to attempt to prove these last mentioned facts by prac tice. He must lake our word for them. Unless he does so we shall answer no more questions in syn tax for him or any- one else. Our duty is to conserve the morals of the community, not to start the peo ple to playing private games of Co penhagen.” Guardian of Purity. —Labor is the mother of wealth and the guar dian of purity. All and good men have been workers. The moral powers of no man, much less a boy, are able toj successfully resist for uuy length of time, the temptations which beset the individual who has nothing to do. They are more than a match for human nature. The damage of one idle day often are so many and so great, that it requires a whole year to repair them ; and not unfrequently, life is too short to replace things as they were before an idle day. The human family is doomed to toil, ami the only safe guards to the individual members of the race is to submit cheerfully. No. work that is useful is dis graceful. It matters not how hard it may be So long as it tends to advance the welfare of the laborer, and the prosperity of society in gen eral, it is honorble. It is always better to be engaged in some hon orable work than to be doing noth ing. Wealth and decency is the in heritance of the laboring men, and poverty and shame is the portion of the individual who always has nothing to do. Good Manners. —If good man ners are not to die out among us, reverence must be restored. The old man must be honored, the weak must be considered, the illustrious must be deferred to, aud the most of all, women must be respected. Wo men have the matter in their ow'n bands. They can compel men to be well-mannered ; and men who know how to behave with politeness to wards women will end in behaving with politeness towards each other. Hauteur always implies want of consideration for others, and is therefore no part of politeness, save when indeed an impertinence has to be quietly but effectively resented. If we were asked to name the word which embodies female politeness we should name “graciousness.” Women should be gracious; gra ciotisness is their happy medium be tween coldness and familiarity ; as self respect is that of men between arrogance and downright rudeness. Probably there can be no true po liteness where there is no humility, either real or well assumed. In a self-making age we cannot be sur prised at meeting with so much self assertion and so much aggressive ness. We eau but wait for the time when the process will be complete, and the individual will be well-bred enough once more to recognize his own insignificance.— Temple Bar. Kerosene and powdered lime, whiting or wood ashe6, will scout tin with the least labor. Kerosene and whiting will also cleanse silver ware, door-knobs,, hinges, etc. — Wet the flannel slightly in the oil, dip into the whiting and rub hard; wash off with hot soap-suds, and brighteu with a chamois skin or newspaper. Bishop Hall said, “ I would rather suffer a thousand wrongs thau offer one. I have always tound that to strive with a superior, is in jurious; with an .equal, doubtful; any full of inquietness/’ What to Do When Yon are in Trouble. Don’t try to quench your sor rows in rum or narcotics. If you begin this you must keep right on with it till it leads to ruin; or, if you pause, you must add physical pain and the consciousness of degra dation to the sorrow you seek to es cape. Os all wretched men his con dition is most pitiful, who, having sought to drown his grief in drink, awakes from his shattered debauch with shattered nerves, aching head, and depressed mind, to face the same trouble again and again sought, till its victim sinks a hopeless, pit? ifnl, and total wretch. Work is your true remedy. If misfortune hits you hard, hit you something else hard; pitch into something with a will. There’s nothing like good, solid, absorbing, exhausting work to cure trouble.— If you have met with losses, you don’t want to lie awake thinking of them. You want sweet, calm, sound sleep, and to eat your dinner with appetite. But you can’t un less you work. If you say you don’t feel like work, and go a loaf-' ing ali day to tell Tom, Dick or the story of your woes, you’ll lie awake and keep your wife awake by tossings. This spoils her tem per and your own breakfast the next morning, and you begin to morrow feeling ten times worse than you did to day. There are some troubles that time only heals, and perhaps some can never be healed at all; but nearly all can bo healed by the pan acea, work. Try it, you who are thus afflicted. We are going ahead at a fear-, ful rate. In 1859 there were one hundred and eighty-six lunatics to every one hundred thousand per sons, while now there are two hun dred and forty-nine in the same number. And all this is true in the face of the fact that great attention has been paid to the treatment of the insane within a few years.— Disease of the heart is also rapidly* increasing in the male sex. With in twenty years the number of deaths among „ men between the ages of twenty and forty-five (the working years of a man’s life) has nearly doubled, while there has been hardly any increase in the mortality oi‘ women by the same disease. This result is due to the feverish excitement of modern life, which .naturally exhausts the vital power*of men engaged in the com petition of business or the general strife for position and wealth.. — Neuralgia, one of the most com mon of diseases now, was hardly known a century since, and soften ing of the brain is said hardly ever to have been thought of. Set a pitcher of water in a room, and iu a few hours it will have absorbed all the respired gases in the room, the air of which will become purer, but the water per fectly filthy. The colder the water is, the-greater the capacity to con tain the gases. At ordinary tem perature a pail of water will con tain a pint of carbonic acid gas and several pints of ammonia. The ca pacity is nearly doubled by redu cing the water to the temperature of ice. Hence, water kept in a room a while is always unfit for use. For the same reason the water from a pump should always be pumped out in the morning before any of it is used. Impure water is more in jurious than impure air. Hygienic Rules.— Never eat when much fatigued ; wait until rested. / Never eat just before yon expect to engage in any severe menial or physical exercise. Never eat while in a passion, or when under great medical excite ment,,depressing or elevating. Never eat just before taking a bath of any kind, or just before re tiring at night. Never eat between regular meals. Effect of Salt on the Blood. — Dr. Stevens,' a French physician, saw a ouucber killing a pig. He observed that he stirred the blood of the animal, added a baodlul of common salt to it while Stirring, which immediately made it crimson, and the stirring being discontinued, remained fluid. The change of color awakened his curiosity. The butcher could give no explanation of the phenomena, except that it kept it from jellying and spoiling. Dr. Sleve.is seized-a vessel, caught some blood, aud made several experiments by putting salt into it, and found that trie o'ackest blood was iostuntly changed to a bright veimilion by salt. <{ And,” said he, “ here is a fact that may lead to a pvacti'cal rule.” He had observed, in cases of yellow fever in the at my, ttiat the blood d-aWu was very black and fluid, and, on adding salt, it became vermilion and letaioed its tVeshuesS; where as, putridity of the blood is one of the characteristics of yellow fever. He therefore abandoned the usual mode of treating it, and gave bis putieuis a mixture of various salts, and in a very short time reduced toe mortality of fever iu the West Indies from one in five to one in fiity. The pel fume of a thousand roses soon dies, but the pain caused by one of their thorns remains long alter saddened remembrances in the midst of mi th is like that thorn ' amongst the roses/ % A Mother-in-law’s Fast Ride. Joe S. is the fortunate possessor of a mother-in law, and, what he probably thought more of, among his horses was one known as Quak er. Now Quaker was a good road er, and could and would jerk a wag on with two in it in 51 on the road and the harder he was pulled in and the more he was yelled at the faster he meant to go. In fact, when a competing horse ranged alongside and a strong pull was taken, accom panied with yells, ho thought he must do Ins level best on tmting, and you bet he did it. Not many years ago, when the county fair was held where Master Joe then lived, he had old Quaker hitched up to a one hundred and thirty pounds three quarter seated wagon, aud, as he was getting in, mother-in law wish ed to go wiitt him. Ho informed her that he was going to tbe town clerk’s office at the lower end of. the village (about a mile, and if she was iu a burry to return she would have to drive back alone, and then cramp ed wagon for her ndmMatice; and with head drooping andsloueb irg gait old Quaker walked along, taking the ill-assorted pair to the towu clerk’s office. Now, be it k town, Ji-e dea» ly lov'es mn, and will have it as often n« possible, while mother-in-law is a light, old. fashioned sky-blue Baptist, undoubtedly vety good, but unfortunately possessed with the idea that to laugh is to sin. It so happened that every team at that time was going to the fa*r grounds, or else was walking :so Quaker had no chance to “score up,” but just as they arrived at the office of the town clerk, S. saw Jack Barnes < om : ng on his way to the i'ai »■. Now-J ack’s mare has the rep uiali-m of being four orfive seconds faster than old Quake . To turn Quaker around, jump out and ad vise mother-in-law to drive slow going home was hut a minute’s work and then holding up his hand to at tract Jack’s attention he told lum he would pay chicken fixings and etoeteias if he would range along side Quaker at speed; yell and s;m the old ho-se up tbe s.reet to fair grounds entrance. A nod, and Jack touches Lady Cut'er with his whip, sings git! and lays for Quaker, who. bearing- the Stepper coming, graps at his oft. Mol bev-io-law takes hold ofre'ns in i-out of the buttons; puts feet agidrst brace iron in font and as the lady ranges alongside, Jack yelling lively, rnOkiie>-in-law takes her strongest pu'l, so earning whoa Ito sto.r her “aiiim'le”’ But be didn’t stO. • not much he didn’t. The poll was just enough m steady him good; which he evidently eoi • sidered to be meant f >r a sell to the Other bo-se, and squat.ed logo his level best, aou just d'u . Now you bet ! l*ame:3 was actually, getiuig leit behind, and warming up to bis work lie commenced in right good earnest to s : ng out. Ili. Yarr Go er long ! What are yon about! Git, won’tyer; and they did git— nice—“Both on ’em.” Tune peo ple they passed seeing their speed and the <-Iu lady’s hat on the "back of her neck, Ifoi*shawl streaming out behind, and the coinage with which she hung on to the bnes, dapped their hands and eucou- agi-' ly suo-r out, “Good, old Gal!’—‘Gav rhl oitu !”—2:40 ! ” “Bully for tne old Quaker! ” Ami as they passed the two hotels the last beys on toe plazas gave them three eheers with a vim— mi fact, wiib several extra vims. Joe’s mothe--in-law *ook the first eve Q ing tiaio for her Green Moun tain home. His parting words were “he should not'*'dare al'ow Iter to drive Quaker again, as he had cau tioned her to di i ve slow, and she bad gone a n d beat one of the fastest horses in town.” Joe said next day, with a quiet twhikle in b's eye, that his w*fe did not give lorn a “certain lecture” that n'ght, and when pa r iiei pm. up the ; r I'ule bets on it he proved by Jack Barnes that they went out to Piusburg for ibeir chicken fixings aud eteteras, and didn’t get back uutil six o’clock next mornjng. Rem-'dy for W tt'T* Ha t ss. —A eorre&poudenfc ot the Massachusetts Ploughman recommends the follow ing iomedy lor white hairs which sometimes appear on horses from the use of the saddle; Tako a piece of la<d, large enough to give the spot a good greasing; rub the same with the hand until it becomes right hot, repeating the opperation at least three or four times; ard the white ha*rs will soon come out and hair of a natural color take tlie'r place. An Irishman called on a lady and gentleman, in whose employ he was, for the purpose of getting some tea' and tobacco. “I had a dratne last night, yer honor,” said 'ne to the geutlemao. “What is it Pat?” “Woy, I drained ibat yer honor made- me a present of a pound i of tobaccy, and her ladyship t.iere —heaven bless her—gave nie some tay for the good wife.*’ “Ah Pat, (frames go by the contraries, you know,” said the gentleman. “Faith j and they may that,” said Pat; “so Her ladyship is to give the tobacky and his bo'oor the tay.” - A Joliet girl, who is troubled with a beaux who stays late, lias in structed the servant to bring her a lafich of raw onions and corned beef about 10 p. m., which generally sends him home. . ' ;<s The United States Government Ansjust issued a patent fat “im ’fe jovement in vices.”| Bill Arp ton Life * Insur ance. “ Bill. Arp "j has Jocen “ inter viewed ” by suverr’.l life insurance agents add favds.rtlie public in his iuiinitable style? with his experience: A friend (I suppose he was a friend) found wanted to see me partikularly. He took me a lit tle way back and banded me out some little thumb-papers, lull of figure#; and said he wanted to iu sure my life. That sheered me worse than anything, for it looked J'ke I was iu danger, aad had just found it out. I asked him if he thought there would be a fight. He explained things to me, aad I felt relieved, and declined to insure for the present. You see I felt mighty well, auu couldn’t see the necessity. At tbe next corner I met another ir'end, who seemed glad to see me, exceedingly. He held my band in his several moments, lie nxed me if my life was insured. He said he was agent for the best company. He then ex plained to me that I might die at any time; that they didn’t under take to keep a man from dying, bo I declined, but expressed my grati tude for his inteiest iu my welfare, and promised to buy a policy as coon as I got right sick. Just as I leit him I heard him call some phel ler a durued phool. When I got to the hotel there was a man waitin’ for me on. the same business. lie talked to me for an hour ou the un certainty of lite aud certainty of dead).. I thought he was a mis sionary. He seemed much concern ed about my wife and children, aod once or twice wiped his eyes with a pocket-handkerchief. I kuowed lie was a fiend, aud told him I would reflect scion sly about tie matter. I believe that company is a purely philanthropic institution, and would lend a feller a few dollars if he was Buffering. 1 livuk 1 will try to bor row from tueir ageut to-morrow. This morning the ii'st one come to see me agin, and I konkluded I was lookiug inuy bad, and axed him to excuse me as I was not l'eeliog well. I wept down to Dr. Alexander and got a dose of salts. I told him I was sick, and the reason why. He told tne a'l about it, aud said there was about 100 of them fella's iu town, aud they bored a half inch at the first interview, aud an inch at the second iu the same hole, aud so on till they got to tbe hollow, and the patients give in aud took a poli cy. I don’t know about that, but will sr?y they are the friendliest, most sympathizin’, and kiod-heavied men I ever si l , tick —ou'y I don’t like so much talk about coffins aud g aveyurds. I don’t like the salts. All the petroleum that has been found in the United States has been in a si-ip of territory twen ty in : lea on an average in width, extending from G’anada to Tennes see, parallel with the edge of the secondary loimathra and tne Alle ghany Mountain'range. Nine-tenu)s ofthepiesent production is found iu die ‘Pennsylva lia oil region, which is about eighty miles ; n length. A ’.ady at Utica recently at tempted to hang hevseK, but the neighbors rushed in and cut her down. Her disgusted husband thinks “some folks had belter stay at home, and not meddle with other peoples affairs.'” ) o a crowded tavern, a J edge and an Irishman were once obliged to room together. “Now, Pat,” said tbc Judge, “you would have had to have sfca’d along time in Ireland be fore you dould have slept with a Judge.” “Ay, ay, sir 1 u answered Pal, “ an’ yer Honor would have had to have staid a long time in Ire' land afore you’d a been a Judge.’ The following is a well tested remedy for chapped hands arid sores of this nature: Put together equal weights of unsulted buuer, tallow, beeswax aod stoned raisins ; sim mer until the. rais*as are done to a crisp, bet not burned. Straui and pour into cups to cool. Bub the hands thoroughly wim : t, and though they vrill smart somewhat at first, they will soon feel comfbri able and heal quickly. “ Tough, madam —tough,- did you say.? ” said an irascible boarder to his landlady, as he was trying to carve what was ostensibly a chick en—“ Yes’m; and wei Ito give my opinion on the fowl/ I stioekl say it was old enough to have scratched up the seeds of original sin when they were first plao>ed.” nr “You are Horn the country,, are you not, sir ? ,: said a dandy clerk in a booK-siore, to a handsomely d'ess ed Quaker, who had given him some trouble. “Yes.” “Well, here is an essay on the rearing of Calves.’ •“ That, said Amoinidab, as he turned to leave the store, “thee had borier present to thy mother.” Old maids, it is said, are seU dora found In China, but lare old china is oi.en found among o'd maids. —■ An lowa man traded bis wife for a shuck mattress aud a boride ! of mucilage* i : 1—• A lady Writes from Parik: “Dress as oddly as you possibly can and you will be sure to be fash ionable.’ —Clergymen and brafeemen do the most coupling. - Music is the food of love—beef aud mutton t tat of matrimony- In He Rich. Many a sigh is heaved, many a heart is broken, many a life ls ren dered miserable by the terrible j iufatuation which parents manifest iu ehoosinga life companion for their I daughters. How is it possible for happiness to result icom the un'on of two nrinciples so diametrically opposed to each other in every point as virtue is t.o vice ? and yet -how often is wealth considered a better recommendation for young inert than virtue ? How o"ten the first questiou asked respecting the suhor of a daughter is th ; s: “Is be rich ?” Yet, he abounds in wealth; but does that afford any evidence that he will make a kind and affectionate hus band ? “Is he rch ?” Yes, his clothing is pm pie and fine lineo, and he fares sumptuously every day ; but can you itiler from this that he is virtuous; “Ishe rich?” Yes, he has thousands floating ori every ocean ; but do not riches sometimes “take to themselves wings aod fly away?” And you consent that your daughter shall marry a man woo b?s nothing to commeed him but his weaUli ? Ah ! beware, the gihled bait sometimes covets a bar bed book ; ask not; then, “Is he rich” but “Is he virtuous ?” Ask not if he has wealth, but has he hon or? And do not sacrifice your daugh ter’s peace for money. What a Boy knows about Gils. Giils are the most unaccounta blesi things in the wot Id—except women; L ; ke the wicked flea; when yph have them they ain’t there. I can cipher e'eau over to improper fractions, and the teacher says I doit first-, ate; but I cau’t cipher out a girl,, proper or improper,- aud you can’t either. The only •rale iu a'ilhmeJc that hils their case is the double rule of two. a-e as a ail of o'd Nick as they caa hold, aod they would die if they C iuklu’t tormen\ somebody. When they t-y to be mean they a v e as roeau as pusfoy, though they ain’t as mean as .they let on, except some times and toeo .bey a e’agoud deal roeaue.. Tbe only way to get along with a girl when She comes at you with be.- nonsense, is to give it to' her t-t for .at, am. that wi’i finna mux We”, and when you get a gud slum uuxeu She if? as p'ce as anew piu. A g»rl can sow mire wild oa.s in a dav than a bo can sow in a year, but girls get .heir wi'd eats in a Yer a while, which boys never do, and ti-uo i’uey se.Je *’owa as calm ami placid as a mud-i>judie. But I like girls 58ic, onAI guess lue boys M! do. I don’t Sue how trr. jy tricks they play on me— and i iey don’t cate etcher. Tne boi.ouyest girls iu cite world cau’t always boil over like a g’uss of so da; By-aod-by ibey will get imo t,aces wivh somebody they The, aad pu'l as steady R3 an o and stage-horse. Tba7 is Jie beauty of idem. 8o let' them wave, I say, they pay for it fcuffle day, sowing on bayous, and trving iO make a decent man of the feller they have 3 ilicsd on to, and ten chances to o~a -f they don’t get tbe worst of it. Men, in general, a- e gicat chil dren. Uow Jonau punished?— Whaled. A western seciler—The sun at evening. Forgers to be encouraged— Blacksmiths. A social glass to which the ladies a ,- e addicted—The mirror. Fine man com are tbo mantle of fair minds. ldleness 2a many gathered miseries in ojc name. —No man is happy who does not think Irimself so. ln all quarrels, leave open the door of reconciliation. lt is joy to Cbbik the best we cab of human kind. Fortune docs not change men j ii Only an masks them. A. true religious sentiment nev er deprived roan of a single joy. The richer the man makes, his food, the poorer he makes his appe tite. The doctor’s work fills six feet - of ground, but tbe dentist’s fi”s *n aelier. Speak Dothing but what may benefit others or your Self; avoid trifling conversation. There is nothing honorable that is not innocent, and nothing mean but what at'achesgailt.- lt may sound like a paradox, but the breakiog of both wings of an army is a pretty sure way to make it fly. An honest reputation is wbbin tbe reach of all wen ; they obtaiu it by social virtues, and "by doing tht'er duty. One J*f the most imoortaot roles of rie science of manners is aw almost absolute silence in regard to’ yourself. Every one complains of the badness of his memory, but nobody of bis judgment. Books intr oduce' us into the best society ; tl*ey bring us into hhe >rresenCe of the greatest minds that ever lived. —ln the long ruuy a tried ftk£ proved character for lrt*th, honory and honesty is the best capital, gives the largest interest. NO 46.