The Cedartown standard. (Cedartown, Ga.) 1889-1946, November 22, 1900, Image 13
Now York City.—No stylo of boillco
Is more generally becoming than the
bolero In Its ninny forms. The excel
lent Xlny Mauton design here lllns-
ladies' waist wrrn noLsno.
tinted Is adopted to ninny materials,
but Is never more effective Allan, ns
.shown, In black taffeta with applique
•of l'erslnn embroidery. The model
from which the drawing wns made is
worn with a skirt of figured black silk
■nmt over a M'nlst mnde of rendytucked
moussellno In cream white. The'lin
ing Is white satin, but the rovers nro
faced with black pnnue, which adds
greatly to the effect. The high stock,
which matches the waist, Is finished
with an applique of heavy cream lace.
Pastel tinted taffetas are admirable
and exceedingly attractive for garden
party and Informal evening wear, but
the latest hint from Paris tells of taf-
fetn enriched by embroidery Into
which gold and silver threads arc In
troduced. The waist beneath limy be
•b.f any contrasting material, but Is
most effective In such diaphanous
liluiy stuffs ns chiffon, moussellno nud
Liberty gauze.
material tlilrty-two Inches wide, or
two nud a quarter yards forty-four
Inches wide, with one-half yard of lin
ing, will be required.
Autumn Fabric* Not Now.
So far autumn fabrics nro not dis
tinctly new. Cashmere will number
among the lending mntcrlQls. Both
plain and embroidered cashmeres will
bo worn. Cloths will be ns much In
favor ns usttnl, and the light weight
variety the favorite. Silk canvas will
be used extensively for simple frocks,
especially In the nutunra. S^lks will
bo gorgeous. The Louis XV. and
Louis XVI. broendes 111 beautiful
tones and designs Interwoven with
silver and gold will reign supreme.
The soft, becoming pannes will bo Ill
favor, as will also the liberty Batin.
The summer of lace will bo closely
followed'by n winter of lnce. In fnct,
lnce will be so much in demand thnt
It will be Impossible to get certain de
sirable qualities.
ltnlny-Dur Wuslinbto Fottloont*.
Bendy-made wnshnble petticoats for
rainy day wear arc shown ut the re
markable prices of lltty-ulno and
sixty-nine cents. The material of
which they are made Is grass cloth,
lawn, or seersucker, nud they' nro
trimmed with corded Bounces or nar
row rutiles of the same. The skirts
are made adjustable to nuy size by
drawstrings at the waist.
Terminate ut tlio Waist Lino.
The majority of the best corset cov
ers terminate at the waist line, and
their fronts arc lu surplice form. Tho
high-necked or half-corset cover Is no
longer used by the host-dressed women.
The Fnvnrlte Garniture.
Black Chantilly appliques nrc tho
favorite garniture on llliuy white cos
tumes.
Skirt With Inverted l'lout In Unrk.
Skirts continue to be snug fitting
about tho hips, but nrc cut to flnrc at
tlio feet nml to nlloW nil possible free
dom. The smart May Mantou model
GIRL'S BLOUSE SUIT.
To cut tills bolero for a lady of me
dium slzo three yards of material
twenty-one Inches wide, or one nnd
three-eighths yards fifty Inches wide,
with one and three-quarter yards of
tucking eighteen inches wide for the
waist, and one and a half yards of llu-
Ing, will be required. >
Ideal Costume For School.
. The comfortable, serviceable blouse
suit fs always In demand. It makes
the ideal costume for school wear and
for the hours .of piny. During the
. warm months it 1ms been popular
anode from khaki cloth, linen and
-duck, but ns cool weather approaches
serge and light-weight flannel will be
In demand. The smart May Manton
design Illustrated In the large drawing
Is suited to all the materials men-
. Honed, but the model Is mnde from
linen In two shades of red, the trim
ming being the darker and banded
with white braid.
The skirt Is full and straight, gath
ered and Joined to a fitted waist that
is quite separate from the blouse. Tho
waist Is In two pieces, and closes at
the centre back. The fitting Is accom
plished by means of single darts and
under-arm seams, but the darts can
be omitted when the figure makes It
desirable. Tho plastron Is faced onto
the fitted waist, and the collar sewed
fast to the neck. The blouse Is separ
ate nnd fitted with shoulder and un
der-arm seams only. The sailor collar
Is seamed to the neck, and the blouse
closes at the centre front, the fulness
at the waist being arranged In gathers.
The sleeves arc one-scamed, gath
ered at shoulders nnd wrists nnd nrc
finished u ltb deep wristbands or cuffs.
With the gown Is worn n regulation
sailor bat.
To cut this suit for a girl of eight
years of age three nnd a half yards of
shown Is equally adapted to the heavy
linens, ducks nnd piques of worm
weather wear, nnd to the woolen stuffs
that will bo In demand before many
weeks. As Illustrated the material Is
veiling In chartreuse green and can'
lie worn as part of tho costume or
with odd waists as occasion demands.
It Is cut In three pieces, the shapely
front gore, and the two circular por
tions. Tlie'lnverted pleats at the foot
of the front gore actually extend to
the scam only, but ns the seam Is
stitched down fiat the effect Is that
of the stitched pleat without the bur
den of Its weight. The fulness nt the
back Is also arranged In an Inverted
pleat, so carrying out the symmetry
of the design. The skirt can be mado
long for Indoor use, or short, to clear
the ground,'for the street, as preferred.
To cut this skirt for a lady of me
dium size seven yards of material
thirty-two Inches wide, four and one-
half yards forty-four Inches wide, or
four and one-quarter yards fifty Inches
wide, will bo required.
INTERESTING VJOfID HISTORIES.
Odd Derivation. nt Mnuy Common Its,
nroaatdii*.
Somo words have histories- Ollier
words embody history, ns for example,
the word rigmarole. Everybody un
derstands It an signifying n confused
nnd mennlngless jumble, hut precious
few recall tho fact that It comes from
rngnum'a roll. Now, the rnguinn'c roll
Is o crown document of no small Im
portance. It Is a real roll of ancient
pnrehmeut, nnd records categorically
the Instruments nnd deeds by which
Scotland's nobility and gentry gave
In their adhesion nnd swore allegiance
to Edward I. of England toward the
close of tho thirteenth century.
Venison, which nowadays means al
ways nnd strictly the llesh of a deer,
Is truly nny llesh hunted—thnt Is, meat
of vonery. Yoiiery Is the old name for
hunting—thus foxes- nnd wolves nnd
badgers furnish venison no less than
tho lordly stng. Cur, the synonym of
a worthless dog, has somewhat tlio
same derivation. In feudal England
the dogs of tho vllllcnugc, no doubt
mostly starving mongrels, were by law
required to be curtailed; thnt Is, have
their tails cut Bliort, so they might bo
readily distinguished from the stag
and boar hounds of the lord nnd gen-
tlomon.
Another wonderfully cxpresslvo
phrase also comes from tho hunting
field, where It Is to this day lu com
mon use. It Is “to run riot." Fox
hounds ruu riot when they leave the
drag of tho fox and go racing nnd
chasing off upon tho scent of linroB
and rabbits, whoso company tho fox
seeks when he finds himself pursued.
Indeed, In fox hunting pnrlnncc, lmre-
scent Is known ns "riot.”
Lombards, money-changers of Ven
ice, sat on benches around tho plnzn
of St. Mark’s. Banco Is Italian for
bench.' When ono of tho money chang
ers defaulted tho others fell to and
broke Ills bench In little pieces. After
ward ho was known ns a “bnneo-rup-
to’’—that Is, tho man of tho broken
bench. Hence comes our word bank
rupt.—Washington POBt.
WISE WORplh
Where boasting ends, there dignity
begins.—Young.
Borrowing Is not much better than
bogging.—Lessing.
Truo blessedness conslstoth In a good
life and a happy death.—Solon.
A chill air surrounds tlioso who aro
down In tho world.—George Eliot.
A bravo spirit struggling with adver
sity Is a spectacle for the gods.—Sen-
pen.
. Assure yourself you have accom-
.plIshBd no small feat If only you have
learned- pntlonco.—Goethe.
Tho host way to do good to ourselves
Is to do It to others; tho right way to
gather Is to scatter.—Richter.
Nature ofton enshrines gallant nnd
noble liearlB In weak bosoms; oftenost,
God bless her, In woman's breast.—
Dickens,
It Is wonderful wlmt strength of
purpose nnd boldness nnd energy of
will nro roused by the ussurance thnt
wo nre doing our duty.—Scott.
Generosity during life Is a very dif
ferent tiling from generosity lu tho
hour of death; one proceeds from gen
uine liberality nnd benevolence; the
other from pride or fear.—Horace
Mann.
Tim I.olallon of Afghanistan.
Wlillo Chinn lu In upheaval In Its ef
fort to rid Itself of foreign Influence,
tho Ameer of Afghanistan lias suc
ceeded In almost completely Isolating
himself nnd his country from his In
dian neighbors. By the Imposition of
heavy duties nnd prohibitory regula
tions ho has nil but annihilated tho
trade with India by Dnkkn and tho
Khybcr Pass. Ills Inst net lms been
to crcnte a monopoly In postons of
sheepskin coats, nssafoetldn, almonds
and pomegranates; he has altogether
prohibited tho export of horses nnd
mules, nnd the import of Indian salt.
In 1800-1800 only thlrty-threo horses
ranched Peshnwur from Afghanistan;
ns against 200 In 1808; while lu the
inntter of salt, the figures wero sixty-
two camel, mule and bullock lpnds,
against 2885. The tax on sheep Is now
so high that the export of them to In
dia fell fri ro 10,187 to 0182 In o:ae year.
Tills policy of the Ameer Is strongly
resented In India, but he pnys no at
tention whatever to the representa
tions that have been addressed to him,
•and since the beginning of the Boer
wnr ho 1ms taken ndvantnge of tho
■ltuatlon It created to rid himself of
nearly ever ono of the foreigners that
were In his service. Of bis relations
with Russia very little appears to be
known, but his great aim appoarp to
be to avoid all Intercourse with his
Eastern neighbors.—New York Sun.
Tim Origin of Greenhouse.*
William Watson, of Kew, says thnt
the first greenhouse erected In Eng
land was In the Apothecaries’ Garden,
at, Chelsea, In 1084. It merely had
glass sides, and wns heated by a kind
of oven. In 1717 a glass-roofed house
was built by the Duke of Rutland at
Belvolr Castle fpr foreign grapes,
heated by furnaces placed under the
floor of the house. Steam was first
used In 1788; nnd hot water soon at
terward was applied to a small house
In the Jardlr des Plantes at Paris.—
Meelmn's Monthly.
An Unusual Catch of Flslj.
One of the clover Princess Bay fish-
ermen had a strange experience a few
days ag;o. Hts catch was as follows:
One weakfisb, six porglcs, seventeen
toad-fish, a crab, a fluke, a dog-fish,
one lafayettc and a green turtle weigh
Ing about sixty pounds. Tho last
named he lost, having no means of
getting It Into the boat. Variety Is
the spice of life. A few skates might
Save made his happiness complete.—
fleif Ulrk Press. '
it S*KtK<tRTtM>8*H m
^ood j^oads f^oies i
Mow York's Highways.
~r '.I' Is stated thnt Erie County has
I become so Impressed with tho
| fnct that good roads are lmpor-
5” taut aids to prosperity that It
will ahsorb about one-third of the fund
of $150,000 which wuS appropriated by
the last Legislature. A few days ago
nt Albany State Engineer and Bur-
vcyor Bond opened bids for construct
ing eight roads, In counties outside of
Erie—In WestchcBter, Albany and Ul
ster. According to the law governing
the disbursement of the appropriation
the county or town which avails Itself
of this gratuity must Itself contribute
as much ns It draws from tho Stitto
ns an earnest of Its good faith.
It Is dltltcult to understand why tlio
good ronds movement lias not made
greater progress lu tills wide-awake
commonwealth of ours. New Jersey
anil Massachusetts, not to speak of
other States, have set us a good ex
ample. Since New Jersey wolto up to
the necessity of Improving her high
ways she lias spent considerably over
$2,000,000 upon them, nnd now can
boust of over 4?0 miles of ronds which
limy be said to have been scientifically
built. Massachusetts has expended a
still greater sum,anil competent judges
state that the ronds upon which it 1ms
been employed wl)l compare favorably
with the best of tho splendid highways
of Europe.
Now York 1ms no such crcdltnblo
record ns tills. There nro some fine
macadam ronds In Westchester,Queens
nnd Richmond Counties; a movement
Is being vigorously pushed looking to
the building of two ninciulnui roads
to extend through Westchester Conn-
ty; Onondnga built a few miles of tlrst-
elnss road last yenr, while something
lins been done In tho same direction
In Erie, Onoldn, Rensselaer, Columbia
anil Schcncctudy nnd possibly lu a few
sthcr counties. But taking our Stuto
as ft wlinlo It Is to be said to Its dis
credit thnt It tins not yet addressed It
self earnestly to this highly Important
matter.
Signs nre not wanting, however,
which Indicate thnt public sentiment
at Inst Is beginning to make Itself felt
pretty generally in all sections of tho
State. One obstacle Is tlio expense.
The roads built 111 Onondnga County
Inst yenr cost between $8000 anil $12,-
000 a mile. The State Engineer nml
Surveyor In Ills last annual report
stntcd thnt the average cost of high
way Improvement under the Illgblc-
Armstrong law, so called, has been
$707-1, but that the average cost for
a thoroughly good ronil sixteen feet
wide Is between $8000 nnd $0000.
Not unnaturally, conservative tax
payers In Jlie rural districts shake
their heads nt these flgurcB mid sny
to ono nnother thnt they really cannot
afford the "luxury" of road t'eforni.
But reflection cannot fall to convince
Intelligent laud owiiers that the cost—
which Is twenty per cent, below what
Massachusetts has paid for her ronde
ls n first-class Investment, Good ronds
menu less, went’ nnd tear on horses
and wagons going to .anil from mar
ket; good ronds meun tho transport
ation of bigger londs nt a higher rate
of speed; good ronds mean nil appre
ciation of the value of surrounding
property.—New York Mall and Ex
press.
Country llon«ls,
"An Observer” recently wrote tho
Davenport (Iowa) TIiuob In this strain:
"We desire the use of your columns
to show those who hnvo the authority
to enforce the laws, that wc, tho poo-
plo of the country districts, fed an
Interest in public affairs, nud tbe de
velopment of our town nnd country
alike. We know tliilt Bossier parish
has the best public ronds In Nortli
Louisiana, and that this fnct Is easily
nccountcd for by the fact thnt Bossier
adopted the proper methods. Instund
of allowing a lot of convicts to lie
about In Jail from year to year at,the
expense of the people, they nro turned
out upon the public ronds to work
their time out. This enables the pub
lic to-reach the towns of the parish
with case anil safety to life find limb,
which Is not the case here, we nre
sorry to say.
“Now, where does tho fault lie? Is
It a fnct thnt the grand jurors have
failed to sec these things? Is It true
that none of the parish officials know
anything of the condition of the roads?
If not we would suggest that they ask
of the farmers of this vicinity, nnd
each will testify that unless something
Is done traffic , and travel must stop."
Goatl ltundi Ilrlng Free Delivery.
An authority says that one romnrlt-
able effect of the extension of the ru
ral free delivery system has been the
great Improvement It has brought
about .In country ronds. The exten
sion of the system being optional with
tbe Government, the plan has been
adopted of favoring those regions In
which the ronds nre best, and as a
consequence there lias been n general
Improvement In the condition of roadb
traversed by rural carriers. This lias
been especially the'case in the West,
nnd It accounts for the nppnrent pref
erence accorded to Ohio and Indiana,
In which States the construction of
good roads has been a prerequisite to
the establishment of a rural free da*
livery service. In ono county of In-
dlnnn the farmers Incurred nn expense
of $2000 to grade nnd Improve a road
In order to obtain free delivery.
Accepted Without lleiltatlon.
When the average man gets back
a dollar too much In change lie doesn’t
stop to see whether It Is good or not.
—Chicago Timc8-Horald.
There are 302 manufacturers of mo
tor cars and accessories In England.
THE HORRORS OF MAGDEBURG;’
No Such Victory Hlnco the Tailing of
Troy,
While Gustnvus wns hindered from
coming lo lls relief Mndgeburg was In
vested by tho forces of Tilly, with
those of Count I’nppenhelm, who
served under him, write* Stephen
Crane In Now Llpplncotl. Ilnvlng or
dered I lie elector of Saxony to comply
with the edict of restitution nnd to
order Mnilgebnrg to surrender, anil
having received a firm Refusal, Tilly
proceeded March 30, 1031, to conduct
tho siege personally with great vigor,
nnd finally, lifter a long, • heroic de
fense, hla men carried It by storm
May 20. Fnlkcnborg wns ouo of tho-
first to fall. Then began tho storied
horrors of Mndgeburg, tho slaughter of
the soldiers, the citizens, the children,
the murder of the women, many of
whom killed themselves to CBCiipe tho
demons let Ioobo by Tilly.
Many, Gormans felt pity for tho
wretched women delivered Into tliclr
hands, but tho Walloons of Pnppeu-
helm's army were monsters of brutal
fury. The scenes of crime lu Mnilge-
burg were unsurpassed In niiluml In
sanity by anything that hns been re
corded. When some officers of tho
league, sickened with tlieBO sights, ap
pealed to Tilly to stop them, ho snlil;
"The soldier must hnvo some rownrd
for Ills danger nnd Ills labors.”
The Inhabitants themselves, It Is
snlil, set fire to tho city In twelvo dif
ferent plnces, preferring to bo burled
under the walls to yielding, but somo
authorities say It wns fired by Pup-
penhelm. Only the cathedral and fifty
bouses were left from tho conflagra
tion; tho rest had gone to ruin, soot
and ashes.
At last on May 23, Tilly walked
through the ruined streets of the city.
Mbrc than (1000 bodies had been thrown
Into the Elbe. A much greater num
ber of living nud dead hntl been con
sumed In the llamcs. Altogether 30,000
were killed.
On the 14th a Te Doitm wns clinntcd
In tho cathedral by Tilly’s ordofb, nnd
he wrote to his emperor that since tho
Inking of Troy nnd the destruction of
Jerusalem no such victory hnd been
seen. He then marched Ills men nwny
through tho Ilnrtz Mountains, avoid
ing a meeting with GUBtav.us.
WORDS OF WISDOM.
Nothing Is unnatural thnt Is not
physically Impossible.—Trumbull.
Any mind thnt Is cnpnblc of real
Borrow Is capable of real good.—Sirs.
Stowe.
Everybody Bays that gentle birth Is
nn accident, nnd everybody treats It
ns an achievement.—Walter Besnnt.
Every Ono' carries Ills destiny In his
own bosom, Fnto Is the deepest cur
rent of one's nature.—Dr. Bellegnrile.
Wherever you find patience, fidelity,
honor, kluiliiess, truth, there you find
respectability, however obscure nnd
lonely men limy be.—H. W. Beecher.
If yon say to a child: “I will give you
something," keep your promise; other
wise you teach It to lie. Tho righteous
promise little nnd do much.—Talmud.
The hnpplcst lot for a man, ns far
nB; lilrtli is concerned, !b that It should
bo such nB to give him but little oc
casion to think much nbout It.—
Whntely.
Ideas make their way lu silence, like
the waters thnt, filtering behind tho
rocks of tho Alps, loosen them from
the mountain on which they rest.—
D’Aubigne.
'I should bo virtuous for my own
sake, though nobody were to know
It, jUBt ns I would be clean for my
own sake, though nobody were to see
mo.—Shaftesbury.
Generosity during life Is- a very dif
ferent tiling from generosity in tho
hour of death; ono proceeds from gen
uine liberality nnd benevolence, tho
other from pride or fear,—Horaco
Mann.
Cannibalism In the Congo.
Since first coming to tho Congo, tho
further I traveled the further cnnibnl-
Ism seemed to recode; everybody hnd
It to sny that tliclr noiglibors on be
yond were bnil, that they “cat men,”
till I began to grow skeptical; but hero
at Bnngnln I absolutely caught up
with It nnd was obliged to nllow wliat
I hnd hoped to. bo able to maintain
as “not proven.” I will not sicken you
with the details of the preparations,
aS some of our boys gave them when
tlujy came to tell me, In the hope thnt
I should be nble to Interfere, but be
fore they reached tho steamer the big
drum’s duni diim announced tho final
act. The natives could not, or nt least
nppenred not to, understand wltf the
white man nnd Ills people should tuko
exception to their proceedings. "Why,”
said they to one of our boys, "do you
Interfere with us? We don’t troublo
you when you kill your gonts. We
buy our nynmn (meat) nnd kill It; .t
Is not your affair.” From this point
on the evidences of cannibalism were
continually recurring, though the re
luctant manner In which nt somo
places the people acknowledged being
“man-eaters” leads us to hope thnt a
sentiment against It already exists.—
From “Pioneering on the Congo,” by
the Rev. W. Holman Bentley.
British Ignorance or Canada.
What would be tho answer of tho
typical Intelligent Briton If -he wore
seized without notice by an iusneotqr
of schools, or by a board schoolboy In
the sixth standard, and required to
name the provinces-In the dominion of
Cnnuda? It Is to be feared that lu nine
cnseB out of ten, or perhaps more fre
quently than that, our fellow-country
men would find such a question quite
beyond thelrdeptb.—London Chronicle.
Tbe English peerage Is divided Into
dukes, marquises, carls, viscounts and
barons, and tlio spiritual peerage Into
archbishops and blslsojtS.
OUR BUDGET OF HUMOR.
LAUGHTER-PROVOKING STORIES FOR
LOVERS OF FUN.
Tlio GiillotHl Girl — A Superior Gnino —
Wnnteil to lie n Gentennrlnii — Await
ing Dovolnpinniits m For llultor or
Worse—Onn't Rule '13m, ICtc., lfitc.
Tlio follow wns thrifty, /
Tho maiden wns shifty,
And she had her 6yes fixed on his pelf,
Such shirt wnists she bought
As would look, nnd why not?
As if mnde by her dear little self.
—Dotrolt JournaJ.
S A Superior Gnme.
“So you Ukcj polo bettor tlmn golf?*
“Ob, yes; In polo you enn l)lqffio tlio
bud plnyu on your pouy/’—Ohlcngo
Hecord.
Wanted to Do h Contotmrlnn*
Doctor—“You’re oil run down.'Wlmt
brnln work have you been doing?’’
Patient—'“Been trying to memorize
nil those newspaper rules for longev
ity.”
ATrul11iik Developments,
Ada—"Why docs Clara speak of
George ns her intended? Are they en
gaged?"
Alice—“No,but slio Intends tlioyBbnll
bo."—Tlt-BltS.
For Hotter or Worse,
Slio—“I do liopo I'll lin'vo a fine day
for my wedding. Goodness knows I
deserve It!"
He—"You ilo, Indeed. You'll liavo
plcuty of stormy ones nftor It.”
Can't Suit 'Km.
"When he hustles, they sny It’s nil
for offeet."
"Yes.”
"Anil when ho quiets down they sny
he's posing."—Cleveland rinlu Denier.
Correct Rending.
Nell—“Do you know tbo lnngungo of
flowers?”
Bello—“I know that when bo sends
mo ti $25 bunch of American Beauties
It doesn't menu ‘I bate you.'I’hila-
dclphla Record. _
In l'arli.
"Wlmt did you Hud to bo tbe mosi
entertaining exhibit at the Paris Ex
position?"
“My husband's exhibit of American
French seemed to entertain everybody
tlio most."—Chicago Tribune.
Misses No One.
"Mr. Blnx very frequently boasts
that bo never forgets a friend."
“Yes,” nnBWcrcil tbo , acrimonious
person, "I bavo observed thnt. When
ever he starts on a horowlug tour he
Invariably calls nt every station.’’—
Washington Star.'
Tlio Uinlirelln.
Jack—"I made two calls, tills after
noon, nnd I must have left lny umbrel
la nt the last plnco I called."
Tom—"How do you know but that
you left It at tbe first place?”
Jnok—“Beenuse there’s where I got
lt."-r-Ohlcngo News.
After tlio Weeding.
She—"You haven’t told mb you loved
mo ouco to-ilny.”
He—“And you haven’t nskeil mo if
I loved you since dny before yoster-.
day.”
The honeymoon, shuddering, saw Its
Dulsb.—Indkinnpolls Press.
Sura Thing.
Edith—"I would bo willing to marry
tlio mnu I loved even If bo wasn't
capable of earning over ten dollars a
week.”
Ethel—“So would I. Sueli men ns
that almost always come of rich nud
Influential families.”—Puck.
A Feacorul Kxlt.
"Did you over have nny words with
your mistress which caused you to
Jeavo your last place?”
"NIver a wor-ril. Sliure an' 01 locked
her In tbo bathroom, and tuk all me
things, nnd slillppeil out ns quiet ns
yez plase.”—Harper’s Bazar. .
Literature Vi. Love.
Jasper—I have hit on a npw stylo
of proposal nnd am In doubt what to
do.”
Jumpuppe—"Wlmt Is your trouble?”
Jasper—"I can't decide whether to
write a short story nrounil It or try
to capture nn heiress with It."—Town
Topics.
Wit Knongti.
First Bookkeeper—“Thnt Jinks Is
the wittiest man In the office!
Second Boookkceper—"I never heard,
him sny a bright tiling!"
First Bookkeeper—"No; but he’s got 1
wit enough'to laugh heartily every
time the boss tells tlmt stale old chest-
nutty Joke of his!”—Puck.
Another One of Thom.
Browns—“I’vb discovered that yon
wero right nbout Borum.”
Towne-7-“Wlint about him?”
Browne—“Don’t you remember you
remarked nbout that bad liablt he
1ms of saying: ‘I told you so?’ Well,
I "
Towne—“Hal ha. Didn’t I tell you?”
—Philadelphia ProsB.
A Bright Youngster.
"I suppose yon expect him t6 grow
ftp to bo a bright hoy?” i snld the friend
patronizingly.
“Well,” answered tho young father.
"I think I detect tendencies In that
direction. He wants, to eat the quick
silver off my pocket mirror and suc
ceeded In making a meal off a package
of stove polish.”—Washington Star. .
It Dior Be Fu.h or It Mmy Be Fall.
Politician—"My boy, tho door t<»
every successful business Is labeled
‘Push.’ ”
Thoughtful Yontli— 1 "Isn’t your busi
ness a successful ouo, sir?”
Politician—"Well, yes, I flatter my
self that It Is very successful. Why
do you ask tlmt?”
Thoughtful Youth—“Beenuse, sir, t
«eo your door Is labelled ’Pull.’ "—De
troit Free Press.