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How to Use the Eyes.
There is no other tienseto which people
trust so much as to right, yet there a t'tw
who have ever taken any special pains to
improve the faculty of observation in ail
eases of exciting events, witnessed by many
persons, it is astonishing to note the wide
variations in the ttories of the incidents
told by those present. This is due Drinci-
pally to the faulty observation of the spec¬
tators. Dr tails are conlused in their minds
because they have not learned to use their
eyes properly. It is true that some per
Sons have great natural gilts 01 u'.seiva-
tiou, while others seem ooao.e to lit mwi-
tens upon their memories ... toe,, true rein
t,on to each other. 1 bus, .or example, a.-
most any one, p,.»«,.* a group of antmae
a held, cun d.sungu.sh three four or hi e
without counting them. Even when whirled
pist m a railroad . . car inoat , persons can
glance a, a very email ...mb.r of objects
and be insti' cttvely able to .ell ju.t
how many J there ate. Hut as the „u m ber
increases, the . attention must . be , more and ,
... ore fixed, and, he mind strained ,o "take
~
bo a -curate . the . apprec,at,.,., . • of f ,, the ,
j. cis they have mercy Hashed th. eyes
to peopled, M thel’iraf™‘oUile, atd often
matte-s of the gravest import depend
wholly , ,, upon the „ impressions that have
been left ou casual spectators by a series
of oveuts. It is mantles, that a croud
trained to note all that ,ho eye mechau-
Ualiy see. has a great advantage over o«.
which gathers only a vague picture, in
which, oven when ui, the feature, are pres-
cut cause aud ei.ee, are tnextrtcao.y eon-
Sea ‘
lti. an old Siory lha, Robert Hondo,,
used to cultivate his powers of observation
while walking rapidly along the boulevards
of Paris hv Belei-timr a Bhon window and
ILerefu n,tine in ConZu his mind LrLtiee the cbieets diaolaved
tin. i ciu. txmstant practice enabled enaoieu him nun
to remember every object in the most va-
ried displays alter oue rapid glance as
passed cm the run. Probably it is not
every oue who can become a Hubert Houn-
din, but any one can cultivate the powers
of observation far beyond their original
capacity, it is related that when the Aus-
t.iaus were uuxious for news of an intended
revolt in the Tyrol agaiust the French u
man wa, scut lo watch a certain bridge
bevoud which the Austrian spies would
have been too much endangered to go. On
hi. return at night ho was questioned as to
everything he had seen, but nothing appa-
rently had happened having any special
eiguith ance. “You are sure you have told
everything you saw?" replied the Austrian
general. "Everything," rep ied the man,
that an old beggar with a flail crossed the
bridge; but he was of no consequence,
He must have bee,, evaxy.” "Why so?"
asked the general. “Because he ouly walked
to the water and hit it three times with his
Hail” “So? Well, that will do," said the
general, who had thereby learned that Haf-
ner would cause the Tyrod to rise in three
days. Had the roan tailed to observe ibis
old beggar and his crazy antics the future
of the Tyrol might. ave'beeu different.
Undoubtedly childhood is the time for
oultivating the observing faculty. As with
memory, on which it somewhat depends,
practice is of the utmost importance to its
proper development. Gradually it becomes
a secoud nature to observe accurately, and
no efiurt ,s required. It has lurtherumre a
very a,long aud valuabl influence on char-
aeter. 1 he man who .a exact m Ins obser-
vatio., ol events is positive ,n Ins knowledge
and thorough in other matters. Accustom-
ed to being right in one thing it stiffen.. »p
his l "eharamertslics ‘ X in' other' Aing^. "it Is
I. .'ae L faults are ! m-gravated also' but
3 ra> *■ i-inn aWea to the ehur-.e-
ter, ...
au a s ur y s teiig , e\en , P
U Whvh'i« 0 in^tts
1 \ .iri rU ( 1 *. ,RHv
lkbHh.oi .ii, is, neiKs. , T at v
# e.ib ot
reyoundm“dToTork wgetherlTuTh
might well be introduced as a prae.ieal
course in the higher grades of schools In-
stead ol becoming a wearisome -enu'ine task a
smdv in the observation would be a
relaxatioa to most minds, .’ and a' skillful
teacher might . even turn it . into a real recre-
ation. Philadelphia i\tt-oid.
Tub other evening a traveler endeavored
to walk into a hotel, temporarily closed fer
repairs, iu a town out West, but was un¬
able to effect an entrance. “That houte is
closed, mister," said a pedestrian as he
passed along. The traveler banged away
on the door, aud lhe pedestrian called out
again: “You, there, the iiouee is dosed!"
Tbe traveler twisted away at the knob, and
once more the pedestrian called out: “1
M£, sir, that house is dosed 1" “Dou’t you
suppose 1 know it, you idiot f’ roared the
traveler, “Wuat I’m trying to do is te open
it l”
When Scott had died the knell of ro-
rr had ,mi-id-d* aud loh as we at
tl woti shall igaiit always The “King be to of theV say a
mantles,’’ it must be owned that his own
hand weakeued by that magnificent
struggle with fortune, had given the first
wing to the bell. Neither Ainsworth nor
■rf.'lwer availed to prop its failing fortuue ;
J U ° k Sheppard and Lucretia were poor
* u 3 t’totes tor Cleveland and Meg Merrilees
ftU ^on be m sided Bulwer, with his finger
°w the pulse of the age, was on with
love ere the old was fairly sped.—
jibtturday Review,
!t ;
*
I JJ
%■
By EDVV. SCHAEFER.
VOLUME X.
All Astrologlst’s Notion.
__
^ - Bullliei; . aa le affects 10 be
' the following relat-
* J mentioned in the
N ;w 1 1 stbinent as making " up r the founda
01 ** k * W .,,. * Z .
J-P". which.means coining o bru.ee, .
and “ “ ^'V ^ to the sign
ol tue \ irgiu and the bruising ol the head
,
Tna ^.,‘ waa Sapphire which, means
z wh;cb u lbe 6ign
Libra, or the scales.
Th(J lb)r , WM ch , lced „ ny , wh i«h means
„ Bffli , KJQ Qr , or , U re.” which is the showing
°' lhe of ,be uluel
M “"'
i he fourth was Emerald, nan- which sigiuhe a
a • , , th,s is the oiciur,- Sagh-
ot
£ the fifh'w„'sardonyx archer ruled by Jupiter
* “ £ “ “ which mcunc
“***;“ “ L' , Cap ric„ro.
r d os which siumfies *
^ , . «» .
^ wa8 Chrysolite, which mean.
“h<' “> wlm hl ^ holds 0 13 with bands” ^ answering J to
.J* 0 oouaa togetner in Pisces. p
^ lh U 1 0 ’ *1^ iae eJCJ1 “ , ea d neiia he'd > "Z'Z cjrre
B P ondin * t0 tbe Aricx, which is the first of
,ht Zodiac and lhe “*» “ wbicb «*» « a “
pv H hntinn
The niutb was Xopaa P ’ translated “dash-
typyhmg the , angry bull , n in .
a “ lua
‘‘ 6 ^ , ar^ .
« th ^ unitedthatT^ Geminf ’
lh ^ w ‘“ 8 -
1 bs eleve ° tb . wa » Jaemth. _ . , whrch ,. , stgmfies .
„ «">**““>«.' that Cancer the Crab,
“• or
» bicb »™s and holds tenaciously. This
»«" is the house of the Moon, who has so
«>«* hiflueuee over things born on the
wawr - F '« bermeu tel1 man Y stra "^ e <aels
ol tbe lunar e8ects «Poa crabs aud also up-
on oysters as well as all shell fish. Oysters
are observed to fatten during the moons
augmentation, iae Egyptians called this
s i^ u Elaria, the folds or resiiug places.
We caU it Cancer—that is, as expl ained by
the Noetic roots, Khan, "the traveler’s rest-
pl«e.” «d Ker or Cer, "embraced or eo-
circ-Ed. I his refers of course, to night, the
season of sleep, when the moon holds do
™mwn.
dhe tweLth stone was^ Amethyst, trans-
lated "he that destroys, referring to the
si^e of the lion, the most ferocious and de-
structive ol beasts, Baltimore News.
-►**---
She Didn’t Dare Do It.
^ lie 0i er l " 1 ^ a an wom.m came
t0 li blu en on iran ive-r s reet,
ZtZZT^Z^ • ;. ,j & ^
. B wilh
•
. r be ca!miT ;
' " }■ |
„
'. '
„ WlK n? -
off _ tWs miBote
‘ You'l. go away?"
" Yes sir
'
“1 wouldn’t if I were you.” I
“But I will, and I defy you to prevent |
me f \ have suffered at your hands as
lou ^ as 1 caD put up with ltl ’
“Oh, 1 shan’t try to stop you,” he quietly
re pfi td “I’ll simply report to the police
my wile has mys.erioa-ly disappeared
Tbe / will want your des.-r.p-.on, and 1
8Wi * ,re “• io " wf * r I, ° 7 6,loe fJ yb “
b"*® »» *«»'“*e , “°" tb l i J«“ *» lk «f
: VPUr kM,,; » 0 " r "°“ ”P ®* tb °
®" 4; h “ ,r the J 0 *" °* “ bt,ck C °
tie newest iu fashion; eyes rather ou tue
gqu5nt; voice paita kvs of-”
‘Wretch! you wouidu’t dare do tbat!" '
she streamed.
"1 C'.rainiy will, aud the description will
go it. to ail the papers.”
They glared at each other for a m‘mute
like cats ‘
Then he- walked , on. Sue c , . looked . , up and v
down the street, gritted her teeth together,
and then picked up her basket and followed
o'! a‘ter. He had what they call the dead-
wood on her. Detroit Free ress.
alie BiQ .
t6.
Vitwcd merely as a haman or literary
production, the Bible is a marvelous book,
without a rival. It embraces works of
forty authors, representing the extremes of
society, from the throne of a king to the
boat of th. fisherman; it was written du,
i«g the long period of sixteen centuries, on,
the banks of the Nile, in the desert ot
Arabia, in the land of promise, in Asia
Minor, in classical Greece and in imperial
Rome; it commences wi,h tue creation,
ard ends with the final glorification, after
d^criblni all the intervening stages in the
relation of God and the spiritual develop-
meat of man; it u*e« ali forms of literary
composition; it rises to tbe highest heights
aad deseends to the lowest depth* of hu-
Devoted to News, Politics, Agriculture and General Progress,
TOCCOA, GEORGIA, JANUARY 27, 1883.
| inanity ; it measures ail states and condi-
I ^ life . u j, acquainted with every
grief alld every woe; it touches every chord
of sympathy ; it contains the spiritual bio.
graph, of every human heart; it is suited
to class , of - . and , be , read .
society, .
) every cau
. , . . , Z, . * f ,
T „T . ,
T P
, fc,eg and toe a beggar, by the , philosopher
a„d the eh,id; « as un.wi.al as the
race, ’ and reaches beyond the limits of time
!|“he'bootai , ,. . - . .
! a n the worid'tL Bible U the
on • r #f wc ue,er r but * hick
we admire and love aiore aud more in pro-
I p oltion „ wa use L.ke the diamond,
j, cas{8 ils lustre every direc.iou ; like a
| '<**- ">« "“»« » is sil “ ke “ “
6hmes ; ' k « » bealm 8 heib - tbc harder 1,18
pn ssed the sweeter is its fragrance.
—
Sixty Feet Under the Sea.
... 1 " a > a ..- . , b “‘
ccccntly * ^ observed 7"’ ”1 the “ ‘t" 6, of ” e “I Spanish t
. esptam a
brig to a New York Sun reporter. "We
we worked , \ alone, , but generally ,, shares .
on
and sometimes for pay. W e went to the
fT* to the srna Z 1 boats, and covered as much ^
ground as possible. Etch mau had a basket,
aweight-a.,d a knife. For sharks? Yes;
possiole ^ v.,-- ut U 18 to a P swing 00r ^ efence your arm - lor 1 with a,most any , force . ^ •
underwater The best weapon is a short
spear. When you reach the grounds you
3 our tefet ln a b ’f f n ke J’ ^ ake
a basket that , has a rope tor hoisting, . ^ r0 P
over, aud soon find yourself at the bottom,
Then your business is to knock as many
oysters off us you can, and pile them into u
basket before you lose your wind. It ia a
terrible strain, but I could stand it in those
days for six minutes, aud I have k ° owu
«®“« “®» who >*J dowu '■ but ‘J
is sure death in the long run. If the ground
is well stocked you can get twenty or more
shell, but it is all luck. When the basket
is tud, it is hauied up, and alter you come
up for your wind, down you go again, the
sinker being hauled up with a small cord
for that purpose. It was on one of these
trips that I ran afoul of the animal that
gaie me a lasang fng it. You will smile
when 1 1 say^that: it was only a star-fas,i, but
‘ 1 1 7 1 WeU '^ n
eet w-t a ru. , and, ,, te^
, an mg on
of a big bunch ot coral, swung off into a
kind of basin. The basket we,.I ahead of
raf i and as ^ swung oil to reach the oottom, j
something seemed to spring up all around
arid ^ was ' n a! ,ns some kind ef i
a monster that coined a.,out me, waved its
arms over my head, and twisted about my
body, arms and iegs. 1 tried to scream, !
L.ed ^
Bp under roe, ud throan its rines and “
^ V“ .. tthouRht
'
of ‘ B “ J * ? ‘ “* ‘
“
" * ‘ , A!’!
, , .
brea J l„Ld P Zn ot thTcreature ^ d”Li„« ' ^
„ m6i „ bi|e , cou ; d ee waa
ping to pieces. They hauled me int0 , he
boat when 1 reached the surface, and pulled
the main part of the animal from me. U
was ova i t a bout three feet across, arid the I
five arcus seemed to divide into'thousand J
ot others. I probably landed on top of that
one, which at tbat time was the largest 1
had evei seen I afterward saw th^ hn-dv
one ,hat wa, washed ashore on the istb-
mu8 that must have hada spread of thirty
Th«r power of grasping is con.
siderabie, but touch them in a certain way
and the, throw off their arms in a regular
3how ' ir - aud are 8030 “ »» ®'»1
* ‘--*--
Scholastic Note.
“Thomas why have you not le* rred
j esson r’ asked an Austin teacher of a ^ t
pii who was a<t°d tor his.impud< .ce
“Because ' ‘ **. I did ‘ not ,' feel B lit- it " “
The reply pleased , . the teacher immenaes
]y It was rfJaily re f reshing t0 hear a new
excuse f rom him, so ba said:
“Tommy, I’il give too a good mark for
yoar j ra: bfulne 83 . Now, Biliy," turning to
the next boy, “wbat is the reason you did
not Itara your lesson
"Because I didn’t feel like it." replied
Billy, thinking he, too, would get a good
mark * or his truthfulness, but, instead, the
teacher took out a strap, and said :
“Biliy,I’ll have to punish jour plagiarism,
You stole that answer from Tommy."—
Texas Siftidgs.”
Croup.
-
Wr-ng a linen cloth—cotton will do, bnt
linen is preferable—out of cold water,
place it upon the chill s throat and chest,
aud then fold a dry flannel wrap carefully
over it. Warm the child’s feet with hot
stones if necessary, and cover with plenty
of bedclothes, and let it go to sleep. When
it wakes, you cannot perceive that it even
ha* a eold. It acts like a charm.
A Terrible Rije.
—
follow,re story, told ,,. by a cattle , raiser .
01 0re f n ' "°" ,d unworthy of belief
“« < ha ‘ "*»<*”“ "®, ®» »«“
notoriously reckless of life and fond of
courting danger . for . reputation . to be ... gamed.
A J«»r or save J there was a "rodeo 'oo host
^ > K inchraen had gath- *
^ ^ j
■ -
--
and , , orand , their , young cattle, and when
c '‘ rdo11 of “<’» b, » d ^'rounded a iarge band
’ ’
, . . "« , . , >»“*»«
'P""* I ’ he *-
! srew wnrIn ' “ ,ne ot ,hf «<** om '
^b&h ,
“
i an
At ai la«t ia-i, iu in a a spirit spirii ot of bravodo Dravodo, a a rarghor ra..chor
proposed that whoever wou’d ride th
, without a saddle or baiter should be
cd the owner of the calf. There was a yell
i of approval, but not a general stampede of
j volunteers, for tst.rus was in an ill humor,
! d u ,^.1 ( Too t^r , , rodT bl d r , w^
^ him
| that ^Zt would not T end 'd so “ well. ^
Atlas, a vasquero named Frick accepted
! h challen IcssS'd aniJ t.d h Pd b iirUt, ,, aZ'd im(up
<»■** and by a
hon ’ an , ! , 4 ' Hismouutinghis Tv 4 . . . , horse, the
I n> * m S 0 ^tened b.s loeg roweiled spurs
, securely, tied a handkerchief around his
| head, approached the infuriated animal, and
g f rapp ^ j,, K t ^ e ^ a il in his band* spramr licht
y c f tbe
g Hn |. j settled securely in his -keat
The lariat were elabened; the bull gave a
roar ° &C racre au( j tf , r . 0 w & ud 1 flun^ h ; s head
” ‘ b « ; U ‘J** id kd h
be “ lit ” twfshook tht
kept a s s. a. Anotfer r roar ar ina, ohook ,! e
* r ' " 11 p ‘' aD 6 Mw ms -
°“ |d,‘c
„-. h upe .f' ky rid« ‘ mist V"
* lb . * bim *' *. .
. ,
F J' „ w , _ ^ , y ‘ B
^ ^ . . j, . ^ _y-. -
, Or' U* , .1
.
1
«® ve a 3esp ® r * te p ? '“ Dge .
. ;
ump n v.-t^ a temj *•
to his Zkt
' ^ ^ au}nja , ai! d ^, 3 ^ were hid
^ undulations in the ground and bets
were eveG made t h at Frick ‘ would be thrown
aud ed . but at i a8t t he bull exhausted
from sheer tr.gh . fell, andI be plnoky , vas-
qu ro s t p g g yo , •
b ‘» ' v„ch was u nanimous ly awardeu.
•
Accidental ^ Marriagas.
«hruid marrv hv ail
*
X^y r j { ’ f , STlXM . t f
«• °P bd “ 1 »«> » *»» ^
self; it is that of a very excellent, agreeable
a " d '*»Y. who married the man
ol her choice, and has not encountered
ostensibly any serious misfortune as a loss
of heaWi, riches children, etc. She told
me this unreservedly, and I never had any
j« ae on to noubt her sin.-rty. kortfU tuts,
1 am OO"""^ lhat ‘ ms " 9a, ' not 1 e
hapPY without a w,ie. It is a strange state
otlh,ngs we hve ‘ n ’ A tendfJUCy 80 aatu ‘
raI of the union . of the sexes ought
t0 ^ ad 0nly to ! he mcgt barmon ’ ou5 re8uh;
^ tbe revers f 18 the fact. 1 here is . cer-
6omeb hing radicaHy wrong in the
constitution ot sneie y; the times are oat of
^ ^ange, to,, wha . ttle
liberty of come ,3 exercised hy those even
who <l»"ierry aocord.ng ,0 wnatts thongnt
>° be th « r ®»" >n«'>"»tton_ 1 ho deep tons
"“*? .
” XC S pU / ,°' T 0 ““ °’f
er bring as many nlsorteU , . couples into the
bonds of hymen as ever could be done by
th- 3 poiring of a legal uiatch-maker. Many
a man thinks he marries by choice who only
marr ^ e6 ^ y accident; in this respr ct men
have much lees the advantage of women
tuua £ eQera *ty opposed. — Lord Byron,
-------
“Ail 0u on ° A Tronhlfttl ikTafer' t0 5 ”
’ *
S a ;s the Glasgow Mail, December 9th:
“At the instance of the Board of Trade,
important experiments were made on Mon-
day at Aberdeen harbor entrance, w-tb
view of testing the practicability of using
oil as a tr.ean'> of rt dating the danger of
entering the harbor during a gale. The
occasion was tbe most favorabie that could
have been selected. A stiff southeaster was
blowing. The sea wa* running high.the waves
dashing over the piers; it was next to
« for any ves,ei to cross tbe bar in
; ety ‘ lfce Jang f wa f app r °p^atey il-
iu s trated saoitiy oeiore tua experime ts
commenced by the arrival of the brigant ne
Conoid, of Peterhead, in a helpless
tion. She had been driven oeJ**rc t-ie ga e,
her sails being carried away amt her steer-
mg gear broken, lhe position ot tue ves
sel was at once seen, and tbe life-boat waa
got ready. The Conoid w b s drilling on to
the pier, when, by an almost superhuman
effort on the part of the erew, the broken
TERMS—$1.50 A YEAR.
NUMBER 29.
wheel was moved and she exdfement eot dear “o over
the bar amid ..dense ^‘X ^ the
I of , he crowJ of , pecta , 0
1 k afterward CaWaln ex-
periment was commenced eocea * ^ apTaiJ Brice mice
representing . the , Board ,
f of Trade raut,anj and the iae
, 4,n ,. ^»or , otcals .. .
“ * were present. Borne
‘ m P roveu1enl8 bat I been made in the pump-
I W apparatus since the las, experiment, a
ar g er rose beiug eupputu, supplied ana and=enloilbe- seat on oe-
^ '^mmeucedAe wave's Ztei^h- ^
! : lug petted, for twenty minutes ^ tie erests di-an-
| ii.e breakers assumed a ro «ng
motion, and the entrance was rendered
| i e '® hty gaUoDE «*>■ cl 0,1 Two hundred «s«d in and
j »<« the
, t The ^-wUit result will vnu be De renorted reported
u r o ra e.
i ^___
OTOTOork: Tile Breakdown.
i 1 , —
I =>" , 1 » ““ «“® »«> wl »> d •»
“«
, travel ,u business, and almost passed his
! ldb ** **■ -me feme one evening
L TZn^ iU ll '' cu iTLZZ vg^caan
‘•‘b.e people, , who , d,d not kuowhis hubtls,
! might have thought him intoxicated, lie
! »“ completely a11 ">* He
! : was paralyzed in his lower
| limbs. The incessant travelog ou the rail
! had at last proved too much for his nervous
I , BySte “- ^nce the collapse. And I have
■ u 6trong impression that other collapses
I lni lawyer ^ ht who ^ced to always a similar source. 1 knew
: a was in a great rush of
j business * Ue Lked his fee3 1 but Jike ail
>
men wbo saccfcc ^i he liked business
^oghly for its own Bake. Hewaaun-
able to refuse business; and indeed, ,o re-
ba sincss is the ha, dest trial which cau
happeQ , 0 ^ profes8ional „, an . H is
mistake was, thathe did not provide himself
“' ilb ^equate assistance. The ill-treated
brain took to softening, and then all bust-
ness came to au end. 1 knew of a man
who wae eu or tnoutly wealthy. In addition
to the cone ant employment which his own
vast property gave him, he was trustee for
ever bo so many widows and orphans and
charities. He worked hard at accounts
till the small hours in the morning. A ^ boy
^ »e six dollars a
luive doufe lt al1 tor him ; preferred
’ doit ^ his 0,vn W3rk him8elf ’ and conse-
»
gently he had to quit this iuferior exist-
eQce ’ wbere8Ucba condition of things is
not always ^ possible. P One ot the best knowu
lnen ; n QOm ^ ^ ^ m0 , ha( he
^ as going to take a six weeks’ holiday at.
^ ^ ^ j WM rejoiced hear it No
mau better deserved or more requlAd such
a holiday. Then he toid me that he was go
take his new book with him to the
sea side, and hoped to have it ready for
P“on by the time his holiday was
Z'h tbat he wi3 onl ^ «“ 7'" a W 0“® ‘ “f-’f klud 1 of
k«d work for a st.il harder kind of work.
“«* he tot>k lhe aU5,C9 ot wbat 19 »«*“ »
, worst counsellor,-himself. His
raa0 3
book *** 3uccesilui - bal be "ever knew of
*•>«
_
The Best Trade to Laaru.
In the third annual report of the New
Jersey Bureau of Labor Statistics, just pub-
fished, it is shown that machinists have
hi ^ her earnings than any other tradesman,
the average for machinists being $879.01
per year, against a general average ot
*4i8.58 for all the trades Bricklayers,
masons and some otner tradesmen may,
perhaps, receive higher wages than mu.
ehtmsts, but they have work only a portion
o the je.tr, while good machinists can find
p * eB,r ° f 3teady wbrk ' bs U su ““ ,r m
winter, wet or dry, hot or cold, lhe tna-
chiniet’s trade is one not likely to become
overcrowded. In fact, the demand for more
machinists has become chronic, aud any
young man of mechanical tastes cannot do
better than learn that trade in a thorough
manner.
-
----------------
Timo to Kill Him.
-
l ^ n '’ sai ^ a ^°J> 'ooking up from his i
'^'*7 iesson, “why preacher am I ?" a preacher ?" |
are you a |
*‘^es, sir." j
“* oa are DOt a preacher. •
^es, I aa, for dou’t you see I’m a !
V&rsln t ’’ j :
’‘ J don’t know what you mean.’’ j
“ W r,y, doa ‘ l Y ou 860 ? A preacher is a
; P^ S(Jl1 I m a parem . It s a pun. ’ {
aa ti e a *o tne lather turntng «o his
'
bat now \ he Ume for kaii , ;iru
* 1 ^ „_ -anv ■ T-vf-i-r a
*_—----_
a New Youk quince grower recoom
metids the sowing o; tsa:i ou the ground
around quince trees, not as a manure, out
as a means of making the fertility of the
So ii more available. He deprecates ths
pracuee of emptying the brine from meat
about the roots, a 3 the allopathic dose thus
giyen frequently kill* the tree.
SMILES.
Little Laura thinks that barrels mast
be feminine, because they have hoops.
A Harvard student always wears gloves
Some people never wash their hands.
If family jars were all confined to the
closet, how many happy families there
would be.
V. ht are people at the seashore like
chickens ? Because they do so maoh
scratching.
It strikes us that it shows a great want
ot breeding to be so anxious to return a
compliment.
Mamma: —“Oh, you naughty boy, to be
drowning flies.’’ Fred:—‘I m not drown¬
ing ’em; 1 m putting ’em into the water to
cool ’em."
A mother left her little boy a few min¬
utes one day. When she came back he said
to Ler: “1 feel just like a widow, without
you, mamma.’’
"Z ,nak V ou daac ® cried « irat ®
u n t * b . ‘ wL ,
» Urn worst thing about richest"
r cpl'c<i a «%»* boy, aud bo was .m ne-
durtely awarded a chromo.
An English writer says that "Americans
tare the most money and are the biggest
A »7 ^ could make that raumrl,
and “ a foo1 “> bel “’' e '>•
Ka “Yc,td Mlss M .,„ a sir’ ZlZTZZ . f , aa , Bn _„ r . h
Just imagine what ^**? a fat thing that ^ fellow
lost .
“Did you hear about your eooeutric
^ ll0nd ^ ^ No, what did ha do? 1
Shot himselfl ” ‘‘ Wel1 * welll —who’d
have thought he had that much sense
left?”
When a youug lady went to look at a
parasol tDa other d ay , the clerk s^id: “WiM
you please give the shade you want?” “1
expect the parasol to give the shade 1
want," said the voung lady,
n U , .. . n ...... 1 » b * 1
"ever be young agaru. No she repl.wi,
F. e2 Br * “ “ cymeal express,on;
. niaIi mistake she
na " r<! ra « neve,
"H"-
A ™dy once requested her husband to
inform her “what difference there w aB be-
tween the meaning of export aud Irani*
port? "My dear," replied the gentleman,
if you were exported, I should be tram*—
ported.”
A T oxnou natipr rrvh that froff’s Wi
parslev aud onions, are great delicacies,
“ an d highly nutritious.” We prefer
our
frog’s legs in their original mud—that is to
8a >, we don’t care to kill a poor frog just to
eat his less, ^
Bluff old Mrs. Jeffries: “Mr?. Benjamin,
I heard that your son had been quite ill.”
- drs Benjamin : ‘ \es, he has been suffer-
ins? from neuralgia of the heart ’’ Mrs. Jef-
^ rie8: Uinph! 1 might have guessed as
raucb ^ rom seeing him hugging Laura
Phillips so often.
“ HoW *“ B ~” f ’ «‘ W 4
~
Fer dersou. ' I lave beeo on a reguW
wiid .a„„,e chase, and I'm glad 1 found you
at last.” Fenderson supposed he must hav.
8aid so-netbing smart the way the people
ar0 n n d him laughed, but he can't for tb.
life of him tell what it was,
A P »' ;IaIiN troi.-“Why is the straw
before .he house ? I hope the Madams is
not ilk” "No, no. Monsieur, only in bed
the last three days.” “Indeed! and not ill,
you say ?" “The fact is, Monsieur, she ha*
lost two of her avorite carriage horses, and
cannot beur to hear the sound ol wheels.”
n xt t __ a . *
^ M —
r 1:ed . 8weet , y> thlt he ou g ht to eongratu-
u#h - mwlf that it wasn't his pock,tbook.
. W hy?'he asked.. “ Because," she filled! rephed,
poc ketbook is always well but
voar hea-l doesn't seem to have anything.
An Irishman, fresh from the “old coun-
GT* saw a turtle for the first time, and at
once made up his mind to capture it. The
tUTl ^ e caught him by the Huger, and be,
holding it out arm s length, said: faith.
nod ye had better let loose the howlt ye
have, or I’ll kick ye nut of the very box ye
rit eit in n ’ be b y iabe-s”
jXrs. Commonstock, of Ashbury Park,
w hen told that etiquette required her to
ca || upon some new next door neighbors,
stood on her porch one afternoon and
sereamed: “So glad you came down. Hope
you’ll make a long stay. Delightful weather
isn’t it ? Ain’t tha mosqutto3 bad? Going
driving to-day ? “There!" said Mrs. C., to
herself, almost out of breath, “I guess I’ve
satisfied etiquette all right this time."
ehildren to
school, Ikef asked the superintendent of
public instruction of an old colored mao.
“Wall, boss, 1’se tried dat school busiQ<*si
an’it w-jn’t work.” “How’s that?” “Wall
you see, my son’s been studyin’ ’rithmedc
fur some time, and t’other day I axed him
what was de county seat of Africa, an he
couldn’t tell me. When a boy studies 'rith-
metic free years and can’t figger out such
a simple question, I tinks dat it is time fur
him ter quit Now he’s studyin’ ’stronoo*/
in a brickyard,” _ _ _