Newspaper Page Text
THE TRANSFORMATION.
When Love was young, it asked for wings,
That it might still be roaming;
And away it sped, by fancy led,
Through dawn, and noon, and gloaming.
Each daintiness that blooms and blows *
It wooed in honeyed metre,
And when it won the sweetest sweet,
It flew off to a sweeter:
When Love was young.
When Love was old, it craved for rest,
For home, and hearth, and haven;
For quiet talks round sheltered walks,
And long lawns smoothly shaven.
And what Love sought, at last it found,
A roof, a porch, a garden.
And from a fond unquestioning heart
Peace, sympathy, and pardon:
When Love was old.
—Austin Dobson.
THE BED GULCH STAGE.
BY CHARLES M. HARGER.
Click, click, click, click, went the
types as they were thrown into their re¬
spective boxes by the type setters in the
/laity Coll lope office. It was early Sun¬
day morning, and they were almost
through with the night's work, One of
the compositors, a dark-haired girl, Avas
particularly deft at her task; and the
nimbleness of her stained fingers as,with¬
out an error, she rapidly sorted the
letters, was a sight worth watching.
Though the only lady in the office, and
hut a child at that, she was as quick and
rapid a worker as any.
J'lie Calliope was one of the experi¬
mental dailies.that had started in Western
towns for “booming” purposes.
r I lie city would be called village
a mere
by Eastern visitors, but standing as it did
far out on the plains, amid the foot hills
of the Rockies, it had quite a metropolitan
appearance. After the leagues upon
leagues of unbroken prairie or rolling
bluffs and precipitous banks, it really ap¬
peared like a centre of civilization, and
■despite the rambling character of its
buildings and the smallness of its popula¬
tion, its daily paper, electric lights and
water works did not seem so much out of
the way.
As the fingers of the girl were nearing
the end of their task, a voice was heard
behind her. She recognized it as that of
Mr. Ferard, the editor. He said: “Miss
Madge, here are three short items I wish
you would put in type. Take paius,
please, for 1 will not have time to look at
yourAvork.”
The morning paper was nearly ready
for the press and handing her three slips
of manuscript covered Avith his almost
unreadable scrawl, he left her and Avent
to attend to other matters demanding his
attention.
“I wonder what that can be,” thought
the girl, puzzling over the badly-written
sentences. “Oh yes, I see now,” and
she quickly put it into type. It Avas a
short editorial squib. Then she took up
the next one, a news item:
We learn that Ben Haven, the Avell known
stage driver on the Colorado and Kansas line
between here and Red Gulch, has been dis¬
charged Horris and his place filled by John Horris.
started out. on his first trip Friday
morning, and will return to-morrow night.
The girl hesitated. She disliked hav-
ing tlie words go forth to the world.
They told of her father being thrown
out of employment, and though the editor
had not said so, everybody Avould knoAV
that Ben Haven had “lost his job” on
account of his dissipation.
“I must do it though,” she thought,
“for I want to keep my place here iaoav,”
and this item, too, Avas made ready for
the press.
Tiie third, and her last work of the
night, had evidently been handed in from
the office. It read:
A terrible blizzard, said to be the worst of
I he season, is raging in Wyoming and Western
Nebraska. It is sweeping southward and will
reach here about noon Sunday. Coming so
late in the season, it Avill find many unpre¬
pared and will do mueh damage.
That was all, and throwing her thin
cloak around her, she left the office, and,
through the chill, gray morning, sought
her unattractive home—a frame cabin,
perched far beyond the outskirts of the
town, on the side of Indian Hill, with
only the Government stage road between
it and the Smoky River. There Avas a
peculiar clearness in the air and the stars
twinkled Avith a strange magnetic bright-
ness. She thought little of it, however,
and before the sun rose or the noisy car¬
rier boys had delivered the morning
Calliope , she avus fast asleep, resting from
the labors of the night.
“Madge,” called her father, six hours
later, “haven’t you slept long enough?
I’m hungry. Get up ami get me some
dinner.”
l he £irl wearily arose alulp?gan ,, getting ...
the meal that her father had so roughly
demanded. They two were alone in the
world and the douh e duty of the print-
mg often and the kitchen fell upon the
g,r 1 s shoulders. Her father had come to
make his days much like hers, when he
was not eiup osei sw ;> twai \ a. ‘ay,
ami alas be down tow-n all night. No™
u‘ sal iv 1 iv ".tv leu s ov, a/.i v * in 'lug
ai.he morning f.duo,* which had
ago arrived.
“Madge, did you see this . about me?”
he suddenly exclaimed.
‘•What father!”
“About mv being discharged and that
worthier Joe Horris taking mv place?”
-•Yes, I saw it." was the meekreponse.
“Why didn’t you keep it out then? I
don’t see why the editor should attack me
t’u u wav ”
“I couldn't keep it out. father. What
do von suupose I have to do with things
that go into the paper?”
“Oh, you don’t care, You’re like that
worthless brother of yours; if you were
a bov, you'd desert me like him—that's
ail vou care about your father.”
He ay as in a grumbling mood to-day
and did not spare the patient slave who
served him. She would not allow. hoAv-
ever, the allusion to the boy who, four
years ago had gone forth with a mother's
blessing, to seek an honorable livelihood.
“What has Will done?” she asked
hotlv. “To be sure, he has never come
back, but he has sent you money and
will some dav come to ais. But never
mind, dinner is ready.”
She siiav that he was Avaited on. and
then went to the window. Far down iu
the town she could see the people throng-
j u , v churchward. The sky was covered
with a «vrav misty cloud that was drift-
-, JO , svvjftjv to ‘the southward. She
to‘the wusts of wind that shook
the buildin" and she thought of
bhzz ‘ rd that the disoateh had said was
*
-
L •'•LuVo-V downtown Mad<ve table. ” said
her father as he rises from the
••Stay Avith me ” she pleads but a slam
of the door is all the answer she receives.
It vis a lon^ and dreary day. The
bitiu" north wind grew fiercer and wilder.
x t tWpo’clock the snow commenced fall-
*
iug. Not in large, feathery flakes as in
icy well-regulated eastern skies, but in tiny,
particles, that pierced the skin of the
traveler exposed to them. The storm
howled on, and by five, when Madge saw
her father come unsteadily around the
corner of the house, on his way home
from a favorite lounging place where he
had spent the day, the snow was blinding
and the cold had almost conquered the
feeble efforts of the kitchen stove.
“Well, air ye goin’ to the office?”
asked Haven in a somewhat liquor-
weakened voice.
“No; there is no paper on Monday
morning, you know,” replied the com¬
positor.
“That’s so, forgot about it. It’s
mighty cold here; what's the matter?”
“The coal is nearly gone. Didn’t you
get some yesterday?”
“Didn’t have no money, an’ now I’m
out of a job, I can’t get none. What’ll we
do, Madge?”
“I’ll have my month’s wages soon, and
then it’ll be all right.”
“I heard somethin’ ter-day.”
“What was it, father?”
“That Horris told on me,so as to get
my job. Said to the comp’ny that I was
a good-fer-nothin’ an’ got me discharged.
I’ll get even with him, doggon his dog-
goned picter,” and the man clenched his
hands angrily, Suddenly his face
lighted up with a strange expression.
“He comes back to-night from the Gulch,
doesn’t he?!’ he blurted out, and then
went to the door. The wind Avas still
fiercer, and the air was fairly white Avith
snow. The thermometer had been
registering below zero for tAvo hours, and
now Avas drawing near to the twenty de¬
gree mark, No church bells could be
heard; indeed that Sunday is to this day
remembered as one upon Avhich no even¬
ing services Avere held, on account of the
terrible storm. Up from the stream to
which the steep banks, separated from
the house by the narroAV wagon road, led,
came the roar of the waters as they
dashed eastward, as if getting a good
headway for their long sluggish journey
across the plains to the sea.
“I’ll fix him,” the girl heard him
mutter in his half-drunken frenzy, and
taking a lantern from the closet he went
with it out into the
“What can he be doing?” she thought,
and waited with breathless anxiety for his
return. It AA T as a long time, but when he
came, it was without the light and with a
and bloAving that told he had
been facing the storm.
“Where is the lantern, father?” she
inquired.
“It went out, and I had to drop it to
hang on to myself,” he replied with a
leer.
She is not satisfied, but can get no
other answer; and as the fire is dying and
the bitter cold is creeping over her flesh,
she goes to the single up-stairs room of
the SAvaying cabin, where she prepares to
sleep. Before doing so, she peers through
the curtainless windows. She can see
nothing, but can feel the dust-like snow
sift against her face as it is driven through
some crevice in the Avail. All is black
outside. Just as she is turning away,
however, she thinks she sees a twinkle of
light toAvard the river. She looks again.
Yes, surely it is there. Can a traveler be
abroad in such a tempest? Surely not,
for the light remains still. She puzzles
over it a moment and then a thought
comes to her that makes her tremble.
It is the lantern Avhich her father has
hung out—why? There cau be one an¬
swer—to misguide his rival, Avho must
force his Avay through the storm to-night
and bring through the mail and stage
from the Gulch. The light will cause
him to turn to the right and throw' stage
driver and horses over the bank, and send
them rolling to a death plunge in the ice-
filled river beloAV.
“In his drunken fury he is not him¬
self,” she thinks, in excuse of the deed,
and determines to undo the crime which
Avas about to be committed.
Hastily wrapping a cloak around her
shivering form, she creeps back to the
lower room. Her father is sitting before
the stove, apparently brooding over his
coming revenge. As noiselessly as possi¬
ble she opens the outer door; and though
the man turns and sees her slipping
through, she has vanished into the black¬
ness of the storm before he can call to
her.
In au instant he recognizes her errand;
the thought of the slight, girlish form
battling Avith the fearful tempest, sends
the blood back from his heart and makes
a sober man of him in a flash.
He rushes to the door and calls:
“Madge!” with all his strength. It is of
no use. Nothing but the wind and the
roaring Smoky reply. Putting on his
overcoat, which, ragged as it was, would
ofl0 rd some protection, ho starts to the
res( , ue H e turns the corner of the house,
the Mllst strikes llim , lle is a i most
ba( , k B „, h<J stt , le3 ou
h „ _l t where he thinks he loft
tantera oonc is there ’„ , m)r ca0 he
a tMce of !he dallghter hose body is
someH liere beiug drifted under the snowy
coverin „ Back to the house, reached
dirlieulty, he takes his course, and
mo'urns alien,atelv upbraids himself
aud the absent child.
* *
“Bless me, dm-er, but this ..... hairy
is a
sort of a night,” and the only passenger
of the Red Gulch stage drew hu. ulster
closer about him and even then shivered
11 little with the cold,
' -Yes > we " d orter Uev stopped back
tender until moruin’, but the mail haz
ter go through if we kiu git it. Ye see,
they is awful pertic’lar about it an’I
bm 011 the route before - 1 dou t
want ter fail on m .v first trip.”
“You don’t mean to say you don’t
know this road?”
“Waal, , I calc , „ late , I know it pretty
ab The but J horses am t uez a reg ben ler along dri\er, here that often s
-
enough.
“Are .here any bad places :
“One that's right bad, ’bout two
mb es this side o' town, long side of
Indian hill. The road’s betAveen the
and the Smoky River. Haven (he’s
tbe driver) used to have a light in
b * s house along there to guide him when
be bbu ’ n Speer there 11 be one
to-night. The horses 11 just bear off to
the righto ^ the light, 11 be all O.
an we K.”
The rickety old stage lumbered on for
an hour. It Avas^ quite dark and the
horses, weary and confused by the noAv
whirling snow, were picking out the way
slowly.
“We’re almost thar, volunteered the
driver, Joe Horris.
“Most where? ’ asked the passenger,
who bad forgotten the former conversa-
“Most to the river cut by „ Haven . s
house.”
“Say, driver. I know Haven, and I
bU g ot out al tbe bouse - You can
r * ke m y things on down to the hotel, and
HI be down in the morning.”
They had reached Indian hill, and the
river’s angry roar came up from below,
vieing with the northern blast for supre¬
macy of sound.
Suddenly, midway in the cut, the
horses stopped. As Horris attempted to
urge them on, a weak voice came from
the blackness beyond their heads.
“There's somebody there!” exclaims
the passenger, and in a moment he is
groping his way to the heads of the horses,
and then lifting from the drift a little,
girlish form which, while being carried
to the wagon, dropped into insensibility
and was like a dead thing in the man’s
arms.
When, an hour later, the storm beaten
company drew up to the hotel and the
light of the office lamp streamed full
upon the girl’s face, the by-standers, who
w T ere watching for signs of returning life,
were surprised to see the stranger kiss her
lips and cheeks passionately.
“See hyar,” blurted out Horris, “no
insults, young man, in these parts, We
know Madge Haven too well.”
“Insults?” repeated a^®^ th^jM^L (for he
was scarcely morei. bed his
charge to the hant|M ( ■lady,
“she is my sister.”
And so it proved;
his name upon the
■•William An hour Morris later, Ben liaven^H^^S
relief villa ire when to organize he found a sea^m E “- • ■
though chilled and still
hotel, cannot be told in
The shock and the
made toward a new the man of daughteBfi him^M|pfJp
ness
with him the secret HHP
though they never spokt^^^^ to each
other, was remarked by all who knew
them.
So effectual and lasting was his reform
that the Daily Calliope was able ter give, a
few weeks later, on the same day that it
told of Miss Madge’s first appearance
upon the street, this item:
Mr. Ben Haven has accepted his old position
on the Red Gulch stage line, his successor,
Joe Horris, having resigned to go to the
mines.
The Great Koliinoov Diamond.
The famous Kohinoor diamond, oi
“Mountain of Light,” which, accorrding
to a dispatch, Queen Victoria has been
asked to restore to its rightful owner,
Prince Dhuleep Singh, who was recentlj
married to an. English lady in Paris, is
one of the great jewels of the world.
During hundreds of years it has been
looked upon with superstitious reA r erence
by the Hindoos, who believed that its
possession carries Avith it the sovereignty
of India. On the other hand, it has been
regarded an omen of ruin and disaster,
and its history shows that every sovereign
owning it up to Victoria lost either his
life or his empire. It belonged to the
Mogul dynasty of rmers, but there is a
tradition that, before it shone in the Pea¬
cock throne, it was owned, countless ages
before, by the mythological Paudoos. At
all events, sovereign has been stealing it
from sovereign for nearly a thousand
years. The court circles of London
would, of course, be shocked at the ap¬
plication of this term to the method by
Avhich Her Majesty acquired the gem, but
it is the very plain language of Prince
Dhuleep Singh to the Empress of India.
“Itw T illbe useless for me,” he writes,
“to demand the restoration of my king¬
dom, sAA'indled from me by your Govern¬
ment, but Avhich I hope shortly, by the
aid of Providence, to retake from my
robbers. But my diamond, the Kohi¬
noor, I understand, is entirely at your
OAvn disposal. Therefore, beiieA r ing your
Majesty to be the most religious body
that your subjects pray for every Sunday,
I do not hesitate to ask that this gem be
restored to me or else that a fair price be
paid for it to me out of your privy
purse.” Queen Victoria has not yet re¬
plied to this polite request for restitution,
but even should Dhuleep be successful in
getting his kingdom back there is not
much probability that he will ever see his
diamond again unless he receives an in¬
vitation to Windsor Castle. The mag¬
nificent gem is, it is needless to say, part
of the spoils of India. It was brought to
England about 1850 in the Medea, sloop-
of-Avar .—New York World.
A Lead Watch for a Rich Man.
Horafce C. Wilcox, President of the
Meriden Britannia Company, is one ol
the richest men in Connecticut. Like the
late Jim Fisk, he began life as a tin ped¬
dler. The other day Mr. Wilcox tried
to perpetrate a little joke on Nathan Fenn,
a Yankee watchmaker of the old-fashioned
sort. Calling in at Watchmaker Fenn’s
shop, Mr. Wilcox pulled out a brass-
plated lead paper weight, cast in imita¬
tion of a watch.
“There, Citizen Fenn,” said he, as he
laid it on the counter, ‘ ‘is a watch I think
a good deal of. $10.” If you Avill make it run
I’ll give you And Avith that left
the shop, chuckling gleefully.
The watchmaker was not to be easily
stumped. He immediately set to work,
hollowed out the lump of lead, inserted
a set of old works, attached a pair ol
leather hinges to the case, made a crystal
of a dark-lantern lens, and attached to
the whole business a chain, the links of
which were ingeniously constructed of
peach stones. Thus armed he broke into
the office of the Britannia factory the
next morning and laid the Avonderful
watch on Mr. Wilcox’s desk. The latter
didn't say a word, but drew’ his check for
$10, w’hile the score ot clerks, led by
Robert M. Wilcox, husband of the
poetess of passion. Avho happened to be
present, giggled outright .—New Yor\
Sun.
The Uniform of the West Point Cadets.
It is said that the main reason for the
movement to change the uniform of the
men in the first class at West Point is that
they damage their systems with the pres-
ent gray jackets. These jackets are cut
almost to a corset tightness iu the first
place, and since they don’t wear out as
fast as the cadets grow they naturally get
tighter and tighter each few months. The
women have taught the boys to be very
proud of the slim waists that distinguish
the corps, so that each felloAv hangs on
to his jacket as long as he can. It is said
that one day \A*hen a cadet fell into the
water his commanding officer ordered him
to investigation take off his jackef and Avring it, An
followed, and showed that
whereas most of the bigger boys had been
obliged to discard their shirts, there were
even some who had had to cut away the
lower halves of their undershirts in order
^utton This will their not surprise jackets around soldiers. their In waists. every
country there are swell regiments that
achieve good looks-more or less in the
same way. There are even tales of the
about some of the dandies yi our own
York Sun.
BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SKETCHES FROM
VARIOUS SOURCES.
His Second Thought—Concealing the
Truth—Biting Sarcasm—Before
Taking—Midnight Bell in
the Distance, Etc.
And Upon a rustic bench thev sat.
talked of this and also that,
When, Exclaimed: in a burst of rapture, he
“I could not happier be
As King upon a throne.”
Then came a dreary crash, alas!
And both sank swiftly on the grass.
Bruised, out of temper from his fall,
“I think,” ne growled, “that after all,
“I’d rather take the throne.”
CONCEALING THE TRUTH.
Miss Houler—“And pray tell me truly,
professor, what do you think of my
voice?”
Professor—“Excusez, moi, mademoi¬
selle, I positively could no be so incourte-
ous.”— Lime.
BITING SARCASM.
Buddington—“Jennie said she
^■d out walking this afternoon and
better than ever.”
! i > w 1»-af e — • • What a sweet girl
. Hi sure.”
Veil.” ■Plington—"She said you were
V BEFORE TAKING.
customer—“bee here! you say this
medicine will cure consumption. T
Ion t look as if it would.
Consumptive Drug Clerk “I ^ I
haven’t begun taking it yet .”—New York
Weekly.
MIDNIGHT BELL IN THE DISTANCE.
He—“Why that menacing motion with
the fan, Miss Sweet lips? You made me
start.”
She—“That is just what I wanted to
do .”—Burlington Free Press.
A CHICAGO DIPLOMA.
Dullard—“I see old man Killmer has
taken to doctoring. Is he having a suc¬
cess?”
Brightly—“Success? Why, he cured
twenty-eight hams last winter .”—Lowell
Citizen.
TO BE PITIED.
First Belle—“I hear your father has
failed, or at least lost heavily in Wall
street.”
Second Belle—“Yes, poor dear, he can
no longer light his cigars with crisp five-
dollar bills, but has to use one-dollar bills.
It is awful!”— Epoch.
HARDENED WITH AGE.
Boarder—“Mrs. Smith, I am obliged
to say that I am afraid your pies Avill
break my teeth.”
Mrs. Smith—“Sir! I made pies before
you were born.”
Boarder—“That is just Avhat I sus¬
pected .”—Burlington Free Press.
HER APPLICATION OF THE MAXIM.
“Yes, Clara,” continued Mr. Breezie
to his eldest daughter, “to succeed in this
life one should husband his opportuni¬
ties.”
“Yes, pa,” replied Clara, with a far¬
away look in her eyes, “especially when
one’s opportunities are a family of grown¬
up girls .”—Boston Transcript.
WORSHIPPING THE GOLDON CALF.
Daughter—“Mamma, Mr. Strongbox
has offered me his heart and hand.”
Mamma—“Do you love him, dear?”
Daughter—“Oh, yes, mamma; very
much. He is worth a million.”
Mamma—“Of course you do, dear.
How silly of me to ask such a question.”
— Washington Critic.
IT NATURALLY FOLLOAVED.
Bobby—“Oh, mamma, you know the
two nickels you gave me when I started
down town—one for the poor blind boy
at the corner and one to buy a ball with.
Well, I lost one of them.”
Mamma—“Which one did you lose?”
Bobby—“The blind boy’s nickel, of
course .”—Omaha World.
HE SCORED A VICTORY.
A teacher, questioning little boys about
the graduation in the scale of being,
asked: “What comes next to man?”
Whereupon a little shaver, who was
evidently smarting under a sense of
previous defeat, immediately distanced
all competitors by promptly shouting:
“His flannel shirt, ma’am ?”—Tid Bits.
IT TURNED-UP TOO SOON.
“What's the matter, Bromley?”
“IVe recovered my A’alise.”
“I don’t see AA-hy you should swear in
that way about it.”
“Oh, you don’t, eh? The plagued
thing isn’t worth $3, and it has turned
up just Avhen the company was about to
allow me $50 for it. It’s just my luck.”
Epoch.
THE STUPID DRUMMER.
Member of Firm—“How do you like
the looks of the new drummer I have en¬
gaged?”
Partner—“To tell the truth, he looks
favful stupid.”
“That’s his strong point. He has such
a stupid look that the customers will give
him orders out of pure sympathy.”—
Siftings.
A TIRED SKELETON.
Living Skeleton (only in America, at
dime museum)—“These fools make me
tired.”
Sympathetic Visitor—“In what way?”
“Here I am earning $500 a week as
the greatest lmng skeleton, yet hour
after hour, day in an’ day out, one old
woman after another stops an’ chins and
chins at me about the things I ought to
eat and get fat .”—New York Weekly.
AN AMBIGUOUS COMPLEMENT.
Wife—“Mrs. Dawson says that I am a
perfect fright, even in the handsomest
^
dress.”
Husband—“Does she?”
Wife—“She does. Now do I look like
a fright to you, John?” :
Husband—“Look like a fright to me? j
No, I guess not. I tell you, May, it j
takes a good deal to frighten me.”— ; '
Boston Courier.
A MODERN WOOING.
Bertie—-Who made the match?”
Ethel— * ‘Mamma. ”
Bertie—“Who broke it off?”
Ethel—“Pana ”
young gentleman have to ilo with it, any-J
way?”
Ethel—“Oh, we s} Empathized with
each other when it wait made, and con-
gratulated . , , , each , other ,, v. rhea , it was broken
Life.
i
THE WAXDEREb’S REASON.
First Tramp—“‘Goin'' in that house
over there, pard? n
Second Tramp—i“I tried that house last
week. I ain't goin’ there any more.”
First Tramp—“-Fraid on account o’
ihe dog?”
Second Tramp—‘ 'Me peints arc.”
First Tramp—“Pants are what?”
Second Tramp—“Frayed on account o’
the dog.- ’—Detroit Free Press.
THE DIFFERENCE.
Young Man—“Sir, I want to marry
your daughter. ”
Old Man—“Oh, you do, do you? Well,
are you to be my son-in-law or am I to
be your father-iu-law?”
Young Man (dazed)—“Why—why,sir,
it’s all the same, isn’t it?”
Old Man-—“Not at all; not at all, sir.
If you are to be my son.-in.-law you can’t
have her. I’ve, got two or three sons-in-
law already to supports ”—Washington
Critic.
HIS MARK.
Stranger—“Can you tell me who that
gentleman with the long hair and heavy
moustache is sitting over there in the
corner? I’d bet a dollar he’s made hi«
mark in this world. ”
Citizen—“That fellow? , les, you’d
win> He’s made it a good many times,
I saw it on a mortgage once. It’s straight,
about a quarter of an inch long. He al-
wa y S g e ts some one to Avritc oArer the top
of it: ‘Bill Jones—his murk. » v> —Detroit
Free Press.
CHANGING THE ORDER. OF THINGS.
Cook (on the day following her arrival)
— “I am sometimes liable to get spunky
and sass back, mum, but you must not
mind it, as I get over it iu a feiv
moments.”
Six-foot Mistress (with , ... raised . ,. brows)—
“Oh, pray don’t worry on my account,
You see, when one of ruy servants gets
her back up, and goes to smashing things,
I just grab her by the back hair and
break some of the cheap furniture Avith
her body.”
Cook—“Y-e-s, m-u-m.”— peck's; Sun.
DANGEROUS GROUND.
They Avere getting a kindergarten lesson.
The teacher took them as very simple
subjects. She touched a table.
“What is this?”
“Wood.”
“What is this?” she asked, as she
touched the fender.
“Iron.”
“What is this?” and she took up an
acid bottle.
“Glass.”
TV hat is this, and she touched . her
watch chain.
“Brass,” said one small boy, and she
changed the subject .—San Francisco
Chronicle.
CAUGHT AT LAST.
.Father (shouting down stairs in an
angry voice)—‘ ‘Mary!”
Mary (who is with her beau, who has
been waiting on her for about three years)
—“Yes, sir.”
F.—“Is Mr. Slowcoach there?”
M.—“Yes, sir.”
F.—“Is he projtosing to you that he is
staying so late?”
M. (to Mr. Slowcoach in a frightened
whisper)—“Oh! what shall I say?”
Mr. S. (trembling in his boots)—“Say
yes.”
M. (toher father)—“Yes, papa.”
F.—“All right, all right; excuse me.
Tell him he can ha\’e you. Bless you
both, my children. He needn’t hurry
aAvay .” 1 —Boston Courier.
OFFENDED.
Insulted Montan'aian (to tenderfoot
here, newspaper correspondent) — “Lookee
young man, you want to be a little
more keerful hoAV you write things that
’
... t to . them ,, back East.
ain so newspapers
This is a high-toned a town, by J Jinks, ’ and
the boys won’t Stand it!”
Terrified Tenderfoot-* ‘Why, I-I-
what have I written?”
“Why, you writ to a Chicago paper
that we lynched fourteen men here last
month and it’s a lie.”
“I—j—thought it was true, or I—
I—”
“Well, it AA’asn’t. We didn’t lynch
but twelve and we only rid the other
one on a rail and peppered him a little
with buckshot. Stick to facts, young
man, that’s all we ask of you.”— Time.
A Condemned Murderer’s Cell Song.
William Kemmler, the first murderer
condemned in New York State to die by
the electrical method, spent his last few
days in his cell at Buffalo, before his
transfer to Auburn State Prison in com¬
posing a song. He worked at it all one
day and at last allowed a turnkey to
write it out. One verse of it runs as
follows:
I used to live in Buffalo;
The people knew me well.
I used to go a-peddling,
My A old plenty clothes I did sell. ragged and torn,
were
My shoes wouldn’t cover flap, my toes,
My old hat went fiippity
Like a schupper to my nose.
I can't sing, sing,
I Avon’t sing, sing, r
I’ll tell you the reason AA’hy—
I can’t sing, sing,
I won’t sing, sing.
For my whistle is getting dry.
Previous to his arrest his whistle was
Avet most of the time. He was nearly
always drunk, the defense on the trial
being alcoholic insanity .—New York
World.
A Ring Thirty-Five Hundred Tears Old.
The Smithsonian Institution has re¬
ceived a gift of great antiquity from the
Chinese Minister. It is a “jade” ring,
about ten inches in diameter and one-
eighth of an inch in thickness, Avith a
hollow center about four inches in diam-
eter. It is of a pale hue.
The ring is known as the “Han Pek”
jewel of the dynasty of Han, an old-time
Monarch of 3500 years ago. Court offi-
cers of that day, Avhea an audience was
accorded them by the Emperor, held the
ring with both hands and thrust their
fingers into the opening to guard against
moving their hands while addressing the
throne, the emphasizing of their remarks
by flourishes of the hands presumably be¬
ing contrary to official etiquette. The
ring was used as an emblem of submission
or respect for the sovereign. It was re-
Human Beings Sold.
The Japan Mail speaks of t ic traffic m
women and children among the desti-
tute as follows: The sale of women and
children has become a regular occurrence
in the famine stricken districts of China.
is as much a matter of notoriety,”
Trri tes a missionary, “us the selling* of
inules , and donkeys/’ The women and
^ hildreQ are not brought to market,
however; the traffic takes place private-
^ vroman between 20 and 30 years
of age is sold for from $5 to $10; a child
under 10 for $1 to $1.50. What is the
owing meaning of this traffic? Is it entirely
to the demand for female chattels
in the great cities, or has it a more di¬
rect connection with the famine? Some
people declare incline to the latter view. They
that the famished people, iu their
pressing balism, need, have resorted to canni¬
and that though parents will not
kill and eat their own children, they are
less scrupulous about selling them to
other persons to kill and eat. It is im¬
possible to credit this. If we were told
that a family, reduced to utter destitu¬
tion and brought face to face with death
by starvation, had eaten one of its mem¬
bers, the thing might be credible. But
that money, with which other food
might be bought, should be spent on
the purchase of human flesh, is wholly
beyond the limits of belief. The stroug
probability hrerely is that the famine regions are
brothels supplying cheap victims for the
of the cities.
Princess Kaulani, of Hawaii.
The Honolulu steamer, which arrived
Princess recently at San Francisco, brought
niece Kaulani, the fourteen-year-old
of King Kalakana, of the Sand¬
wich Islands. She is on her way to Eu¬
rope to be educated and see the world.
She is the daughter of A. S. Clegliorn,
a Princess wealthy sugar planter, and was called
Like-Liko. She is a rather
Pretty girl of chocolate color and speaks
English^ uncle Kalnkaua fluently. to She expected her
Paris, but accompany her to
this monarch had to post¬
pone the trip to the next steamer, as he
was so afflicted with boils that lie was
confined to liis bed. The princess’s
mother is regarded as a martyr in Ha-
waii, as it is reported that she jumped
into the crater of a volcano to stop the
la\ a flow that was ruining the islands.
The natives be neve that such self sacri-
fica will appease the Avrath of the goddess
who has oharge of the volcano. Simulta-
neous with the death of the princess's
mother the eruption stopped. The mis-
sionaries scouted the idea, as it tended
to od keep alive the belief in a heathen
B -—[Chicago Herald.
Chinese Etiquette.
Etiquette requires, in Chinese conver¬
sation, that each should compliment the
other and depreciate hirnsdf and all his
belongings lowing It is affirmed that the fol¬
is not an exaggeration: ( ( What
is your honorable name?” “My insig¬
nificant appellation is Chang.” “Where
is your magnificent palace?” ‘ ‘My con-
temptible hut is at Luchau.” How many
are y 0 ur illustrious children?” “My
vile worthlpvQ bruts are five “ “ITow is
the health of your distinguished spouse?”
“My good-for-nothing old woman is
well.”
Husband of a popular actress— My
wife has decided to retire from the
stage.
Friend—Indeed! At once?
H.—N’—no, not exactly at once. We
have not yet decided upon the exact
year, but she will begin her first farewell
tour next season .—Boston Courier.
Every less third person you meet is troubled more
or with biliousness, and don't know how
to ge rid of it. The causes are ea ily recorded.
A lack of sufficient exercise, eating too much
by persons of sedentary habits, indulgence in
too rich food, a sluggish torpid liver where the
blood does not do lis duty, and bile is allowed
to accumula e; these cause the whites of the
eyes t<*Jurn yellow, the skin to look thick and
coars , and the com lexion yello a or dark.
These are sure indications of biliousness.
Brown'6 Iron Bitters is the remedy you want,
It acts directly upon the blood, cleanses and
purifies the channels it, and sends it on its journey through
of the liver, giving to it activity
and clearing out the bile, it will remove tha
yellow leaving tinge from the eyes and the complexion
the latter fresh and clear.
There is no reason in the world why a "baby
show” shouldn’t be a bowling success.
WIi y They Lead>
Dr. Pierce’s medicines outsell all others, be-
?. auae ot tn ®t r possessing such superior cura-
turera wve properties i,i as t > warrant their manufac-
doing supplying through all them to the people (as they
are druggists) on such co idi-
Hons as no othor medicines are sold under, viz:
that they shall either benefit or cure the pa-
specific for ^o^ffio^’M^icI^Discove^-is catarrh in the head and all
chia throit bron¬
, and lung diseases, if taken in
time and given a fair trial. Money will be re¬
funded if it does not benefit or cure.
Dr. Pierce’s Pellets—gently laxative or ac¬
tively cathartic according to dose. 25 cents.
The fastest pair on record~The City of
Paris on land and die City of Paris on water.
Positively Delicious.
that So they delightful to be the taste are Hamburg Figs
could placed upon the table lor
dessert, and no one would suspect that they
were more than very superior crystalized fruit.
This property is what makes them so popular
with ladies and children for the cure of con¬
stipation, piles, indigestion,and Mack sick-headaehe.
25 cents. Dose one Fig. Drug Co., N. Y.
A 10c. Smoke for 5c.—“Tansill’s Punch.”
True Economy
It is true economy to buy Hood's Sarsaparilla, for
“100 Doses One Dollar” Is original with and true
only of this popular medicine. If you wish to prove
this, buy a bottle of Hood's Sarsaparilla and measure
Its contents. You will find it to hold 100 tcaspoon-
fuls. Now read the directions, and you will find
that the average dose for persons of different ages
Is less than a tcaspjonful. This 13 certainly con¬
clusive evldenco of the peculiar strength and econ¬
omy of Hood’s Sarsaparilla.
“I took Hood’s Sarsaparilla for loss of appetlto,
dyspepsia, and general languor. It did me a vast
amount of good, and I have no hesitancy In recom¬
mending It.”—J. W. AViixbi-ord, Quincy, Ilk
Hood’s Sarsaparilla
Sold by all druggists. $1; six for $5. Prepared only
by C. L HOOD A CO., Lowell, Mass.
IOO Doses One Dollar
m W. L. DOUCLAS
% '■ ;< $3 SHOE GENTLEMEN. FOR
m Best In the world. Examine his
85.00 GENUINE IIAND-SEWED SHOE.
84.00 HAND-SEWED AVELT SHOE.
83.50 POLICE AND FARMERS’ SnOE.
m *2.50 EXTRA VALUE CALF SHOE.
ft Ja 82.25 WORKINGMAN’S SHOE.
82.00 GOOD-AVEAIt SHOE.
*2.00 and *1.75 BOYS’ SCHOOL SHOES.
All made in Congress, Button and Lace.
W. L. DOUCLAS
$3 & $2 SHOES LADIE8. FOR
Best Material. Best Style. Best Fitting,
kj W. L. Do.rtglas’ 83.00 Shoe, shown in cut helow. Is
SagjUY KWt£' ma'If- inside ot fine hand-sewed Celt, on larts shoes, modelled and tor tacks the toot; .smooth thread
as no or wax
to hurt the feet. Every pair Trerranted.
and j.rtee anyhc^y; stamped on them, ami say* be^lndnced they are bl= shocs^or
ranted by tlierefoie do not to buy shoes that haveno reputa- j- fr,
lion. Buy only tho*o that Have W. L. DOOGEA5’ name and Use price rye* ffrf'ie
blainpedon thAbottom, and yon are sore to pet try* »y*tl xrveerenoi -C uj ft
W?L. IMofuGLAS* "s&OES. ** nnU£ ' ° r
If your dealer will not gel von the kind or style you wast.'em! your order y <7-’ J,
direct to Ids factory, with the price enclosed, and they will be aent you by f ivl
leuina mail, postage free:consequently, no matter where yon live, you Jp C$5™ .Jm
can always get W. L. DOUGLAS’ SHOES. B» enre and -late size
and width vou vrear; If not Btire, semi for an order black
giving full Instructions how to get a perfect fit. -* aa
Be of Good Theer.
There is one remedy that has brought health
and strength to many a failing constitution,and
restored m?.nr suffering blood-diseased mortals
to lives of usefulness and joy. It bas been
tried with success after extensively advertised
specifies and sar-aparillas h id miserably failed
to bring relief. If you suffer trom tailing
blood, health, brought on by an impure state of the
you do y< nr-elf and yi ur friends great in¬
justice if you fail to Bo'anic try this proven cure. It is
called B. B. B., or lilt* d Ba m, and can
bo obtaiued fr >m any dmggist. Should
your druggist not keep it*for sa t*, insist on his
getting it for you. Do not be jiersuaded to take
best. anything else tor your blood. B. B. B. is the
It is the only safe, quick and complete
cure. Send io the Blood Balm Co., Atlanta,
Ga., for hook tilled with ctrtideates. If yon
suffer from sores, aches, weakness, lameness,
dyspepsia, ne*d, and catarrh, etc., B. B. B. is the remedy
you tli • only rente iy that trill restore
you ically. to perfect Try health, mentally as well as phys¬
it.
Scientist—“Do von believe in spirits?” Ken¬
tuckian—“Thanks, don’tkeerei Ido.
"What do von chew ?
“LUCY HINTON!”
Why? Because
it is the best I can find.
Who makes it ?
T. C. Williams Co., Richmond, Ya.
Who sells it ?
All dealers.
How can I recognize it ?
The name Lucy Hinton is on every plug.
Oregon, lho l’nrnitUr of 1'nrtners.
Mild, equable climate, certain and abundant
crops. Lest fruit, grain, grass and slock
country in the world. Full information free.
Address Oreg. Im’igr’t’n Board, Portland, Ore.
1,000 CASES
TINWARE.
$15.00 Per Case. Freight Prepaid.
RETAILS FOR SSo.OO.
CONTENTS AND XETAIL I'BICKI:
6 Coffee Pots, 1 q uart .............. (ip .10 f0.80
12 Coffee Pots, 2 quart............... (p .15 1.80
6 Coffee Pots, 3 quart .............. (p .20 1.20
6 Stamped AVnsh Basins, 10 in......@ .05 .80
6 Stamped Wash Basins, 11 in... (p .10 .00
48 6 Stamped Cups, Wash Basins, 13 m..... (p .15 .SO
12 1 pint .................... (p .05 2.40
12 Cups, Covered 1 quart ... ................(flj .10 1.20
Buckets, IK pint........ (p .05 .60
24 Covered Buckets, 2 quart ......@ .10 2.40
6 Covered Buckets, 3 quart.......... (p .15 .90
6 Covered Buckets, 4 quart......... (p 1.10 ,20 1.20
6 Milk Buckets, 4 quart ........ ( .60
6 Milk Buckets, 8 quart ...... : ..M .25 1.50
12 Stamped Dipl icrs, * a pint ..... 5- (p .05 .60
12 Cocoa Shape 1 .10 1.20
18 Stamped Plates, 9 in .......... @ .05 .90
12 Stamped Milk I’ans, 8,q in........@ .05 .60
12 6 3tamped Milk Pans, 11 in.. .10 1.20
Stamped Milk I’aus, 13 iu . (p .15 .90
6 3 Stain Dish ped Milk Pans, 15 in.. ip .20 1.20
Pans, 8 quart........ (u>.10 .30
6 Dish Pans, 10 quart......... <p .20 1.20
3 Dish Pans, 12 quart......... (p .25 .75
Total Retail Selling Price...... $25.03
and Shipped promptly to anj- on'receipt point in vour state,
freight PRErAiti, of $15.00.
L. F. BROWN, Charleston, S. C.,
Earthenware, Importer and Jobber of
liirvvnr.*, Ulansware.
c % Cl*; m i
i
Dr. Lobb After ALL other*
fall, consult
329N.15tliSt.
J PHILA., PA.
Twenty years’ co of ntlnuous the awful practice rft'ccCs tn of the early treat-
ment and euro
vice, and destroying bot tli miiui anti body. Hollars, Modtctn*
treatment for one i noutl i, Five sent
securely seated from ob! serva tiou to any address.
Book ou Special Diseases free.
jXT. O. 3T- T_b.
Nashville, Tenn. College for Young Ladles,
Is the lending school of this section. Began 18*0
with 5u pupils, Wittiout grounds or buildings of it*
own. Now hus 3 buildinns, lot) rooms, 20 ofiice*. 320
pupils from 18 Music, States. Full courso in Literature,
vcrslty, Science, fullr Art, privileges in Vanderbuilt lini-*'
conveniences. equipped For Gymnasium, and all modern
Rev. AV. catalogue Ptticc, address President.
Gxo. F. D. 1)., Nashville, Tenn.
Plantation Engines
k . i S With SeU-Contained
RETURN FLUE BOILERS,
M FOR DRIVING
Nri COTTON GINS and MILLS.
Illustrated Pamphlet Free. Addresg
81 James 1 leffel & Co.
SPRINGFIELD, OHIO,
or J 10 Liberty St., New York.
v I TO $250 A MONTH can be made working
w for us. Agents preferred who can furnish
a horse l and give thetr whole time to the business,
Bp are mome ■nts inay be profitably employed also.
A few vacancies In towns and cities. B. F. JOHN¬
SON & CO., 1009 Main St., Richmond, A r a. A'. B.~
Please state age anti business experience. Never
mind about sending stamp for reply. It. F. J. db Co.
WASHINGTON INFORMATION BUREAU,
COI.E OEEBLE, Proprietors,
932 I Street N. W., Washington, O. V.
General information furnished.
Correspondence solicited.
nil open to progressive ^students. All Interested
III AVll! by r “[ j^e s 1 a g‘ , £;' toUBJEE?B oston, Mass.
< S U
PYgfi BKfcEa tLM l J □ M B BH E§S§1 BTifi’WfilstteyHnfi.
i I 1 U m iH It* cured at homo wltii
a
NiKr S!u»ataToa! ia CfiUco 0i)i WliuefiaU tit
FllEE Large aud particulars MARRIAGE of our association PAPER
that pay; over 81,000 AT MARRIAGE. Ad-
dress THE COKRE.SFONDENT, Toledo, Ohio.
325 SUSS fata.'TiAffss
Af Lines^ io £8 not ii ilsiy. under Samples hora^s Jfeet. worth Write 1*3 Brew- Free.
IS YOUR FARM FOR SALE T.
If so address CURTiS A Wright, 21i! 15 road way, NY.
A gents wanted. $1 an hour. 50 n '* '.v art t t: e-uOat’lrua
XX. and -ampje : free. O.E.M AESHAI.L, Buffalo, N. Y.
_L T>\1..*!>!"* lit N. COLLEGE, Phi adeiplna. P*.
Scholarship and positions, IHoO. Write for Circular.
PEERLESS DYES &HI&SSSZ
JS H I prescribe and folly en-
(F'certiln dorse Big <i as the only
1 TO 5 DaTS.^B specific of for the certain cure
laaraatMd “I this disease.
ota- Stricture. not G.H.INGRAHAM.M. D.,
Amsterdam, N. \.
Vrd only by th* XVe have sold Bis G for
£Sg2nu Cisnisai Co. many years, and it ha*
.38 given the best of sat.s-
Ci ncinn ati faction.
Ohio. I). Pv. DYCHE & CO.,
Chicago, 111.
Trade nart’iSl.OO. Bold by Druggists.
A. N. U....... .............Twentv-teven 'SI
DUTCH ER’S
FLY KILLER
Makes a clean sweep. Svery
sheet will kill a quart of files.
Stops buzzing around ears,
ittviug at eyes, tickling and your
nose, skips hard words se¬
cures “2.1 pence at trilling 5 expense.
Send cents for sheets to
F. DUTCHFJt, St. Albans, Vt.