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THE HERO OF THE CONEMA.UGH.
Above the valley of the Conemaugh
Black, boding clouds frowned down
Tlie spirit of the tempest shrieked
Its voiceless warning to a fated town.
“Flee, flee for your lives?’ it cried:
“Escape the surge of the relentless tide!”
Yet no one heeded—no one understood;
No warning reached t hose oft-warned
Fathers but laughed ears.
and mothers fond
But smiled, and soothed their children’s
fears,
While still the tempest sobbed and cried:
“Flee, flee for your lives! Ride! ride?’
far up the valley one man understood;
An unknown hero heard the awfnl erv,
And like a whirlwind rode he down
To warn them of death's horror nigh,
flee, flee for your lives!” he cried;
Escape t he surge of the relentless tide.”
He s mad, they thought. Few heeded what
he said;
Borne laughed and scoffed, a handful fled,
But nearly all remained behind
Within that Valley of the Dead,
fitill on he rode and madly cried:
“Flee, flee for your lives! Ride! Ride!”
On, on he rode and raced with death,
Till, beaten in that unequal strife,
The torrent caught him, and his corpse
Swept on with those of men for whom he
gave his life;
And over all the tempest vainly sighed,
‘T lee, flee for your lives! Ride! Ride!”
—New York Press.
A JUST RETRIBUTION.
BY WILLIAM M. GRAYDON.
T was busy among my maps and charts
at the cabin table when a dull, heavy
sound, twice repeated, came through the
open windows. Dropping everything I
hurried up on deck.
The marines were gathered along the
rail, looking oiT to the right bank of the
creek.
“Was that firing I heard?” I inquired,
eagerly.
“I think it was the report of a gun,
Captain,” said Lieutenant Osborne, “It
came from the shore, at a distance of
scarcely half a mile.”
All listened intently for a moment, and
then came a repetition of the sound, and
mingled with it we seemed to hear a cry.
I hesitated what course to pursue. An
investigation ought to be made; and yet
to venture off into the forest with a
handful of men seemed a very risky pro¬
ceeding, for these Arab slave dealei s are
no mean fighters, and this thing evident¬
ly could portend nothing else than that
they were about.
I was in command of a gunboat at¬
tached to the man-of-war Racer, which
was stationed on the* Fast African coast,
some miles north of Zanzibar, and which
was engaged in the slave blockade. I
had been dispatched some fifty miles up
Vannas Creek to investigate a rumor that
the Arabs had a slave station near the
head waters somewhere.
Up to this time I had met with no suc¬
cess, The country seemed to be de-
sorted. Of course we could not recoil-
niter far from the banks, for our force
was small, and a sufficient guard must
always be left in charge of the gunboat.
For these reasons I hesitated to advance
into the jungle; but two more shots iu
rapid succession removed all doubts, and
I ordered a boat to be lowered instantly.
I landed my little force—a dozen trusty
marines—-in a small cove, and we plunged
at once into the forest.
\\ c moved with great caution, and soon
struck the rude path that bore traces of
travel. We continued along this in a
southerly direction, and had marched
nearly a mile when the two men whom I
had sent forward as an advance guard
hurried back at full speed and reported
that a number of natives and two white
men were only a few rods distant and
creating a considerable disturbance.
This information staggered me. What
white men could be doing here was more
than I could understand, We advanced
slowly, with lilies in readiness, Before
us was a break in the forest, and without
any difficulty wc gained the edge of the
bush and obtained a clear view of the
open.
Some fifty or sixty stalwart negroes
were dancing about and making strange
gestures, while a few yards away, at the
base of a small hillock,stood two swarthy
men. They were on the defensive, evi¬
dently, for they held rifles in their hands,
and three dead negroes lay prostrate on
the ground in front of them.
Then I saw something else, for iu the
center of the open lay one great mass of
glittering white ivory, tossed carelessly
iu a heap. It was au ivory caravan from
the interior; for these negroes
to no coast tribes.
What the dispute was about I could uot
even guess, nor did I have time to do so,
for of a sudden the negroes dashed for-
ward with a fierce shout. The men must
have heeu overpowered in spite of their
incessant and deadly fire; hut just at the
critical moment we swept out from the
bushes, and tlie negroes fell back in
nmazemeut.
The rescued men came forward with
outstretched hands, and I saw on closer
view that they wore Portuguese.
“Senor, you have saved our lives,”
said the leader, in tolerably good Eng-
lish. He was an intelligent looking man
of thirty or thirty-five. “These
scoundrels were determined to kill us.
My name is Torres,” he continued, “and
this,” pointing to his companion, “is my
friend, Castello. We are ivory traders,
and have brought these natives from the
interior at great cost. We pledged our-
selves to send them home iu safety, but
the fools suddenly made up their minds
that we proposed selling them to the
Arabs, and, mad with rage, they made
this sudden attack on us."
1 never did put much faith in Portu-
guese, though this man was of a better
type than many 1 had met. Still he
might i be speaking the truth.
hesitated, not knowing what course
to pursue. The negroes were grouped
together at a little distance, sullenly
watching our movements, hut making no
hostile demonstrations.
Suddenly one of them came forward, a
big, stalwart fellow, with a leopard skin
about his waist, and stopped in front of
mo.
He began to jabber out a mixture of
bad English and native African, and,
more from liis gestures than from his
speech, I comprehended what he
He declared that the Portuguese intended
to sell them into slavery, and affirmed that
he had seen Torres lurking behind on the
previous day to talk to an Arab that had
come out of the forest.
He told me his name was Zuba. that he
was ahead man in nh t»ihc, and that he
had picked up his Snglisa at Zanzibar,
where he had been on several occasions.
He knew that I was English, and that the
English hated the Arabs, so he hoped
that I would protect his friends from the
Portuguese and the slave hunters.
Torres's swarthy face flashed darker as
Zuba poured out his appeal.
“The hound lies,” he exclaimed,
angrily. “When they take the ivory to
the coast they will be paid and sent back
home.”
“But see here, Torres,” I interrupted,
for I was beginning to get an inkling of
the state of the case. “You know well
that these natives are not safe within a
hundred miles of the coast. It looks to
me as though you had deceived them,
whether you intended to sell them to the
Arabs or not. They are certainly igno-
peril.” *
rant of their real
The Portuguese grew confused, and
tried to stammer out some explanation,
but I made up my mind at once that it
was a clear case of treachery.
It was an extremely perilous situation
all round, and one that called for prompt
action. I at once ordered the arrest of the
two Portuguese, and before they could
think of resistance, my marines had dis¬
armed them and pinioned their limbs.
The delighted negroes crowded round
us with cries of gratitude, but I soon con¬
vinced them that their danger was by no
means over. I could not liberate and let
them go, for the bands of slave hunters
that roamed the country would soon have
seized them, so my only course was to
take them on board the gunboat and let
the authorities of the Racer decide their
fate. I now had no doubt at all that
Torres and Gastello had intended to sell
them into slavery,and I felt highly elated
at my capture of these Portuguese slave
hunters.
At my command Zuba and his dusky
friends took up their burdens of ivory,
and we started back along the rough
trail, Torres and Castello marching sul¬
lenly between two marines.
I noticed that they turned their heads
aside from time to time in a strange man¬
ner, and my suspicions were aroused.
Zuba was watchful and uneasy,and crept
along some distance ahead of the column
closely inspecting the jungle on all sides.
We had retraced half the distance back
when lie hurried toward us, waving his
arm frantically, while the leopard skin
flapped about his loins.
“Arabs, heap Arabs!” he gasped, and
his face showed the deadly terror he
felt.
He tried to talk, but could only utter
inarticulate sounds and point with his
trembling hands.
The negroes, with a wail of terror,
dashed down their ivory and prepared to
flee.
“Shoot the first man that runs,” I cried.
“Now into the bushes, quick, all of
you!”
The jungle was heavy at this point and
in a moment our party was hidden be-
neath its cover, and none too soon, for
we could already hear voices in front.
My force was small, as I have said, and
I preferred, if possible, to escape a con¬
flict with the Arabs, whose number was
uncertain, and gain the gunboat with rny
prisoners. The negroes were unarmed,
with the exception of Zuba, who carried
a great knife, so I put them in the rear
of the marines and left the Portuguese in
Zuba’s care.
We scarcely ventured to breathe, but
crouched down to the ground holding
our arms in readiness for an attack. The
dreaded sounds came nearer, and soon,
peering out through the bushes, we saw a
formidable body of Arabs passing along
the path. Their leader was a powerful
fellow with a huge scar across his face,
and all of them bore guns, and had pis¬
tols stuck in their belts, while every man
carried a bunch of chains that clanked
harshly as they hurried past.
The party was a large one, comprising
forty or fifty men, and their presence here
made the guilt of the Portuguese plain as
day. They were hastening to an appointed
rendezvous.
All would probably have gone well, and
the negroes would have reached the gun¬
boat in safety, hut as the rear guard of the
Arabs filed past, suddenly Torres gave a
loud shout. Before he could repeat it
Zuba felled him to the ground, hut it was
too late; the mischief was already done.
The Arabs grouped together a moment
in consternation, and as they hesitated,
one of my men, iu his excitment, exposed
his body 7 . Ilis uniform betrayed our
character, and the Arabs, spurred on by
their fierce hatred of the English, poured
a random fire into the jungle.
One of the marines fell, and terrible
cries of agony rose from the poor blacks.
Then we gave them an answering volley,
and with deadly effect. But reckless of
danger, they closed up and swept down
upon us iu a dense mass,
Our fire raked down the foremost row,
hut their onslaught was so fierce that we
fell back toward the river and gained the
shelter of heavy timber, where, frombe-
hind trees, we picked off the reckless
Arabs that exposed themselves to our fire,
Encumbered with helpless negroes, our
situation was desperate,
I concluded to retreat still nearer the
creek, for the firing must shortly bring as-
sistance from the gunboat. The Portu-
guese were dragged resistingly along, and
soon we reached a comparatively open
space where already the forest began to
slope toward the water,
But the crafty Arabs had stolen a
raareh on us, for as we started to cross the
open, a straggling fire was poured in on
us from all sides, and the poor negroes
began to fall thickly. It was more than
they could stand, and in frantic terror
they scattered and fled directly into the
; midst of their foes. They were lost, I
saw at a glance.
j Every about second make was dash precious, and we
were to a for the creek
when a hearty cheer rose above the din,
-md up the slope came a file of marines,
led by Lieutenant Osborne, and driving
the Arabs to right and left. We joined
forces and charged the enemy, who fled in
| confusion, but sad to say bore off with
them half of the negroes.
: 1 bullet ^ c found through Castello his head lying fired dead by his with a
own
friends, but Forres and Zuba were both
missing. The Arabs still greatly
numbered us, and their knowledge of the
ground gave them a decided advantage.
''e started to march toward the creek,
<) >am omng t le ivory, ot course, hut tak-
ing along the aodies of five of our men,
and picking up on the way naif a dozen
of the terrified natives who had been m
hiding.
A few straggling shots were fired at us,
but we pressed on unheeding.
Osborne and I were in advance when
suddenly he lifted his baud.
"Listen, he said. “What is that l ’
t)ff to our right hushes were crackling.
and we could hear voices raised in anger.
.wire I racognutd tlii ^und ofTui-
r ^ s '<- <- • glade, ^ uu and uii.iu found .1 .e jungie
into an open Zuba and
Torres struggling m deadly combat. Be-
fore we could reach the spot the enraged
negro wrested himself from the grasp of
the Portuguese, and drawing his knife,
buried it in the unhappy wretch’s breast.
“See,” he cried, springing to his feet.
“It is right he die,when all my people he
betray!”
We tried to seize him, but with a cry
he sprang into the forest and disappeared,
Torres was stone dead; and leaving
him where he lay at the foot of a tree,
we hurried on to the creek and reached
the boats in safety.
The Arabs must have been in close
pursuit, for a heavy fire greeted us from
shore as we rowed out to the gunboats.
A few rounds from a small cannon, how-
ever, soon drove the enemy back.
Before night we were gliding under
full steam down the creek, for my orders
were imperative and admitted of no delay,
much as I would have liked to punish the
Arabs,
The Racer at once organized an expe¬
dition to start inland from the coast, for
I was satisfied that a slave station existed
in the vicinity. While the preparations
for this was going on, an Arab dhow was
captured at the very mouth of Yannas
Creek, which, to my surprise, proved to
have on board the remnant of Zuba’s
friends. More than half had either per¬
ished in the fight or still remained in the
hands of the Arabs.
Of Zuba I never liea flit I al-
ways Gastello, regarded who had the ^ind of
- -
fortunes by their dai»
just retribution for h
Argosy.
Bird’s Nesi
During »he recently
when the -retiring leS
with tertainments each otheibin and sett'S* givj
the chef of the StanfS
the palates of the gues
casion about and delicious set their toj Wiost
a soi daintT
served. Every one present was sipping
it and discussing its excellence, uncon¬
scious of what they were eating, until
some one curiously inclined ventured to
inquire what it was. It was real Chinese
bird’s nest soup, a culinary concoction
which, if made and served as they are
wont to make and serve it in the flowery
kingdom, attests the fine discrimination
of the Oriental gastronome—in this line
of delicacies at least, As Senator Stan-
ford employs a Chinese cook, the service
was doubtless original. The soup is made
from the real nest of the birds. These
birds are bats or swifts, much like the
American swallow, and congregate in
large numbers in caves mostly along the
coasts of China and British North Bor¬
neo. The nests are made from little fish
and seaweed taken from the ocean in the
spring of the year, and a soft fungoid
growth that incrusts the limestone in
damp places, about an inch thick, dark
outside and perfectly white inside. This
latter the birds take in their mouths and
draw out in a filament backward and for-
ward like a caterpillar weaving its co¬
coon. The nests are gathered entirely by
candle light at a height of several hun¬
dred feet, and though these caves have
been worked several hundred years, there
seems to be no apparent diminution of
the supply. The authentic recipe, as given
by the Chinese cooks, is as follows: Take
six bird’s nests and soak over night in
cold water. In the morning wash clean
in fresh water and then steam for six
hours. After steaming, pick out all
feathers, retaining the juice for the soup.
The stock of the soup is then made from
either chicken or veal. In this put a few
pigeon eggs, and the seasoning is then a
matter of judgment with the cook.—
Washington Star.
Starving the Teeth.
If we dp not furnish to the teeth of
the young that pabulum they require they
cannot possibly t be built up. It is the
outside of corn, oats, wheat, barley and
the like, or the bran, so-called, that we
sift away and feed to the swine, that the
teeth actually require for their proper
nourishment. The wisdom of man has
proven his folly, shown in every succeed¬
ing generation of teeth, which become
more fragile and weak. These flouring
mills are working destruction upon the
teeth of every man, woman and child
who partakes of their fine bolted flour.
They sift out the carbonates and the
phosphates of lime in order that they
may provide that fine white flour, which
is proving a whitened sepulcher to the
tec + h.
Oatmeal is one of the best foods for
supplying the teeth with nourishment.
It makes the dentine, cementum and
enamel strong, ilint-like and able to re¬
sist all forms of decay. If you have
children never allow any white bread
upon your table. Bread made of whole
wheat ground not bolted, so that the
bran which contains the minute quantities
of lime is present, is best. To make a
good, wholesome, nourishing bread, take
two bowls of wheat meal and one bowl
of white or bolted flour and make by the
usual process. Nothing is superior to
brown bread for bone and tooth building.
This is made out of rye meal and corn
meal. Baked beans, too, have a con¬
siderable supply of these lime salts and
should he on your table, hot or cold three
times a week. In brushing the teeth al-
ways brush up and down from the gum
instead of across. Brush away from the
gum and on the grinding surface of the
teeth .—New York Press.
Buried Treasure Inearthed.
The people at Friar’s Point, Miss., are
much excited over the discovery of a hid-
den treasure, and crowds were recently
out digging, as if the town was a gold
mine. One morning when the steamer
Belle Memphis arrived at the town,
passengers saw a fisherman and his
little sons “grubbing” in the loose loam
a hundred yards below the wharf boat,
Soon afterward the boys rushed up
their father at the landing, and
him several dingy pieces of metal that
they had found. The fisherman saw that
they were twenty-dollar place*and gold pieces, and
ran to the began digging. The
passengers on the boat followed, and the
spot was soon alive with eager
Pocket’knives, parasols, and fingers were
the tools used, and they yielded a rich re-
turn. The fisherman got about 8600. A
lady passenger secured 8500, and others
got smaller sums, the whole amount ag-
gregating several thousand dollars, all in
twenty-dollar 1S60.' gold pieces bearing ~ date of
1S59 and
The money was buried early during the
war by sofnebody unknown. Several
years ago a wealthy planter spent about
83000 on excavations on Montezuma Bar,
some distance above Friar's Point, to find
a treasure that was supposed to be buried
there. He failed in his attempt, hut
managed to furnish another channel for
the river at that point .—New York 7»«»
"DTTTIPUT DUl/ULl OP* VI p'TT'M 1 U 1
1 •
-.
HUMOROUS SKETCHES FROM
VARIOUS SOURCES.
What the Maiden Said—He Was Up
High—Mahomet and Pike’s
Peak—George Was Prac¬
tical, Etc., Etc.
They The lingered at her father’s door,'
hour was shining bright.
And to the maiden, o’er and o’er.
The youth had said good night.
reluctant to depart,
While aiAheTove thkTSflad his heart
His ardent looks confessed,
At And length the maiden blushed and sighed
said in accents low:
“ I hope, dear John, you will not try
To kiss me ’ere you go.”
—Boston Courier.
_____ HE WAS UP HI®
Servant (rapping on hotel guest's dooi)
■—“Are you up, sir?”
Guest (drowsily, recollecting the num¬
ber of his room)—“Yes, up six flights.”
MAHOMET AND PIKE’S PEAK.
Patron—“This set of teeth you made
for me is too big.”
Dentist—“Yes, sir. Sit down in the
chair and I will enlarge your mouth a lit¬
tle .”—New York Tribune.
GEORGE WAS PRACTICAU. '
.ow still and calm the moon is,” ex-
td Amy feelingly.
replied George; “it is sober
it will be full in two weeks.”—
HA’ Sun.
YOUNG FIEND AGAIN.
wR ^P.re ' saiu is Mrs. nothing Palmer. sentimental about
1 “Even when
ir lover is with her they sit far apart.”
“Yes,” spoke up little Harry, “as long
as you are in the room.”— Epoch.
SOMETHING BOUND TO GO.
“Does the Captain say whether we
shall break the record or not?”
“Yes. He says that the record or the
boiler must go.”
“How lovely!”— Munsey's Weekly.
DID HE POP?
He—“Talking about names, I wish I
could get mine changed. I think it is
too ugly for anything.”
She (enthusiastically)—“Oh, I don’t.
I think it just lovely .”—Burlington Free
Press.
OIL WELL THAT ENDS WELL.
“Have you ever stopped to consider
what is the chief end of our existence on
this mundane sphere?” asked the solemn
old gentleman with the shining garb.
“Dividend,” replied the oil specula¬
tor.”— Terre Ilaute Express.
WHY IIE HATES ’EM. -----
Miss Pyrte—“What makes you such a
confirmed woman-hater, Mr. Olebach?”
Mr. Olebach—“Well, when I was a
young’man a woman made a fool of me.”
Miss Pyrte—“And you never got over
it ?”—Terre Haute Express.
HE HAD HIGHER ASPIRATIONS.
“If you study hard, Tommy,” said a
fond father, ‘ ‘you may some day be Presi¬
dent.”
“O,” replied Tommy, “I want some¬
thing better than that. I want to be a
famous shortstop .”—New York Sun.
AN AWFUL LIAR.
Smith—“Robinson told me that his
wife had been run over by a coach and
seriously injured.”
Jones—“You can’t believe what Robin¬
son says, he is such a braggart. I’ll bet
it -was only a delivery wagon.”— Siftings.
A NEW MAKE OF SCALES.
Nickleby—“That’s a strange pair of
scales you have there. I suppose they are
of the Ambuscade kind.”
Grocer—“Ambuscade? What is that?”
Nickleby—“Why, they lie in weight,
as it were .”—Lawrence (Mass.) American.
FLYING ASSETS.
Mr. De Groot—“Everything I’ve got
in the world is yours, Alice, if you ’ll
anlv say the word!”
Little Tommy (from outside)—“They
’s one thing you won't get unless your
young man hurries. His hoss just run
away l”
ROMANCE OF BOYHOOD.
Proser (to newsboy who has picked up
a horseshoe)—“Ah, my boy, I see you be¬
lieve in the superstition that hovers over
the horseshoe. Are you going to nail it
over your back door?”
Newsboy—“Naw. Goin’ to sell it to
the junkman.”
PURSUING IIIS STUDIES.
City Boarder—“So your son is home
from pursuing his studies at Yale?”
Farmer—“Yes, he got back yester-
dav. As vou say, I guess he has been
pursuing ’em, but he is so far behind
hand that I don't think he will ever catch
up.”— Siftings.
SHE GOT THERE.
Elsie and Charlie are out walking. .
Elstc—“Oh. I feel sick; I am going
to faint!
Charlie—-“Oh, my! M hat will I do
. ^ do?
you
^sie ifeebly)-— -Carry me into that
. store. (Faints.) Epoch.
tee-cream
one effect.
“The introduction of baseball has
changed the meaning of some words in
the English language.”
“Is that so?”
“Yes. For instance, twenty used to
be a score, hut now a score is anywhere
from one to twelve, or even a goose egg.”
—TYew York Sun.
-
improved circumstances.
Peter—“You children turn up vour
noses at everything on the table. When
I was a boy I was srlad to get enough dry
bread to eat.”
Tommv—“Sav, pa You're having a
much better time of it now you are liv-
ing “ with us, ain’t -I_ you?*' — Grip .
a vegetable cow.
Mrs. Amateur (accompanying the gar-
dener over the new farm i—“What is
that r.lant Davi,^"
Davis—“Milkweed ma’am ”
y Ir? Amateur (ten minutes later, burst-
ing excitedly into her husband's den)—
“Jack, there's no earthlv need of our
hoping p ^ so many * cows; this place is
overrun U3 i, and we may as
cS .”—Town Topics.
HE DIDN'T INSIST.
Ella—“How do you like Mr. Mash? 1
hear he called the other night.”
Ethel—“I think he's fearfully horrid.
He asked me if I could plav on the piano,
and I told him that I "couldn't 1 plav
u -
“And what then?”
“That was all .”—New Tori Sun
A BUSINESS TRANSACTION.
Little Schoolboy—“Mamina, you said
if I’d bring you a reward of merit you'd
give me a new knife.”
Mamma—“Yes, my pet.”
“Here it is.”
“But this has Tommy Toodles's name
on it.”
“Yes, ’m; I traded him my old knife
for it.”— Harper's Bazar.
AN ERROR CORRECTED.
Our Food-Dispenser—“What part of
the chicken do you prefer, Mr. Pipe-
grass?”
Mr. Switzer—'
Chorus of Mr. Chubbs— I leg.
- Mr. Gowav— want a
Mr. Holder—
Our Food-Dispenser—“Gents, this
ain’t no centipede.”— Judge.
THE TERM AFPLIED.
Tramp (to pedestrian)—“Would you
be kind enough to give me fifteen cents?
I waut to buy a clean collar, and have my
boots blacked.”
Pedestrian—“What is vour profes¬
sion?”
Tramp—“I’m on the railroad.”
Pedestrian- -“Brakeman?”
Tramp—“Well-er—kind of a brake-
man; I'm nearly always broke.”
A COMMON REVENGE.
“I hear that young clerk of yours who
was tempted to take a few dollars of your
money has turned over a new leaf and is
leading an honest life,” remarked Jasper.
“Is he doing well?” asked Houndem.”
“Yes, he said it was very hard to live
down such a disgrace, but it was just
gettingto be forgotten.”
“In that case,” gloated Houndem, “I
will have the thing referred to again in
the papers .”—The Epoch.
A NEW PROFESSION.
First Tramp (in the suburbs)—“Say,
Bill, I’ve got a regular job, and it ’tain’t
work, nuther. It’s just like a reg’lar
profesh, and I’m gettin’ big fees. See
that tener?”
Second Tramp—“Jimminy Crickets!
Wat does yer do?”
‘ ‘I sdeaks around at night and throws
people’s lawn mowers out of gear.”
“But who pays yer fer that?”
“Next door neighbors wot wants ter
sleep .”—New York Weekly.
THE OPINION OF A PRACTICAL MAN.
“Mr. Swackhammer,” said the repor¬
ter, notebook in hand, “you have seen,
of course, many of the suggestions that
have been made as to the adoption of a
national flower. May I ask what your
individual opinion is on the subject?”
“I have not considered the matter
deeply as yet,” replied the Minnesota
Congressman thoughtfully, “but as a
practical man I should say it ought to be
of the best XXXX brand .”—Chicago
Tribune.
HE SAW THE PROPRIETOR.
Wife—“John, I wash you’d go into
Coffee & Co.’s v r hen you’re down town
and see why they haven’t sent up the
days groceries I ordered by postal card tivo
ago. It’s shameful to neglect my
order so. Just give them a real hard
scolding, will you, John?”
John—“I shall go there and see Mr.
Coffee himself about it.”
John (an hour later)—“Mr. Coffee,
here’s au order on this postal card that
I’ve carried in my pocket two days. I
wish you’d get the goods up to the house
early this morning; will you, please?”—
Epoch.
it is all right.
‘ ‘I think I dropped a letter into the
mail the other day without stamping it,’
said a man at the postoffice as he called
for the chief clerk.
“If you did it has gone to the Dead
Letter office.”
“Has, eh? You must have known that
it -was a mistake.”
“Yes.”
“And you ought to have held it for in¬
quiry?”
“We have our rules.”
“And they are mighty independent
rules, let me tell you! The Postoffice De¬
partment needs overhauling, and I’ll help
to see it done!”
The next day the man returned, this
time with a smile on his face, and said:
“You remember I was speaking about
an unstamped letter?”
“Yes.”
“I was much put out.”
“Yes.”
“Well ,,, TT „ I _ want to , apologize. , . That „ . let- , t
, d cted acquaintance In
ir t an
? 1 cal,ed 1 1 . a bar and a horse thlcf _ ’
Last m ^ bt } fou nd ™t that I was mis¬
taken. He hasn . t got the letter and won t
get it, and so won t know T anything about
it. The Postoffice Department is all
right. Rules are all right. Clerks are
a ]j r jght. Have a cigar and press on to
promotion and increased salary .”—Detroit
Free Press.
A Republic of Many Tongues.
Switzerland with its 15.892 square
m jq eg territory, New'York. is one-third the size of
the State of Thirty per cent.
of its area, comprising uncultivablerand mountains, glac-
jers. lakes and rivers, ^forests. is
eighteen per cent. The popu-
lation ‘ in 1887 was 2,846,102. The num-
he 0 f cantons (States) is twenty-two.
F renc h is the language of 608,007 inhabi-
tants living in the four western cantons
G f Geneva. Vaud, Neuchatel and Vaiais;
Italian, that of 161,923, living in the
southern canton of Ticino; Romande
that of 38,705, of' living in the southeastern
canton the Grisons; Swiss-German
that of 2,030,792, living in the north
and northeast cantons. Of the principal
cities, Basle has 72,963 inhabitants;
Geneva, 52,516 (with suburbs, 73,504);
Berne, 50,220; Lausanne, 32,954; Zur-
ich, 28,062, (with suburbs, 92.683); St.
Gail, 25,051; Chaux-de-Fonds, 24,372:
Lucerne, 20,373; Neuchatel, 17,350.
Only fourteen per cent, of the peopk
<4:10,000) lives in cities having more than
J5,000 irhahitants. Manufactures cli
ret 'tlv employ 130,000.
In England check reins are nowen-
rirelv * out of use, being forbidden
law
The Next Census.
In taking the next census, there will
be ore supervisor for each district, who
wdl be nomlnat ed by the President and
whose nornm ttion will be acted upon by
the Senate in next December. The enu-
“ er f to ” be the superin-
^. adent of tho Cens ^f b ? the supervisors,
1 he enumerators will work only during
the month of June, 1890, when the ac¬
tual connting is to be done. They will
be paid according to the number of
names the they turn m upon their lists, with
limitation that no enumerator can
make more than $5 a day. Their general
average will be about $00 for the month
during which they work. The supervis
ors will commence preliminary work in
January next. Their work, which will
continue to the tirst of the following
July, time, will not, except for a very short
be in any degree arduous. Their
pay will be according to the population
of their respective districts.
Uerultardl's Grievances.
Madame Sarah Beruliardt says; It is
not because I am extravagant that I am
always iu want of money, but because I
am Shamefully always being robbed by my directors.
roboedl I have been chea ed
out of millions upon millions. Onetru-ts
the rogues, does n<>t read over the cn-
gagerm do, nt as carefully as one ought to
and signs. Then there is always a
line about a forfeit or something else
which one has overlooked, and it is there
tliat the director is in ambush. Between
the thieves on one side and the small
prices paid in Paris on the other, I often
woudtrhow I get a piece of bread to put
I etween my teeth. Of all countries,
France is perhaps the one where an ac¬
tress earns the least. Look at what El¬
len Terry, Bernard-Beere and Mary An¬
derson earn. Why they make as much,
I am sure, in a week, as I do iu a season.
Is it Cruel ?
The case of Ktmmlcr, the Buffalo
murderer, who was condemned to suffer
death by electricity, was Up on appeal in
the Supreme Court of Auburn, N. Y.
The appeal was taken on the ground that
the 8tute Constitution prohibited cruel
and unusual punishment, and the counsel
for the murderer contended that execu-
lion by electricity was cruel ami unusual.
The case was argued at considerable
length by both sides, and the court fin-
ally decided that testimony would have
to be tukfin as to the effect of an electric
current on the human body, and ap-
pointed Tracy C. Becker, a lawyer of
Buffalo, to take testimony and report to
the Court '
-----
_ Laughter. , .
0
--
People who laugh in a broad Latin
“A” are open-hearted, honest, fond Of
noisy jocundity, blit perhaps of a voluble
mood. Excessive jerking laughter, how-
ever, is an evidence of vulgarity. Those
laughing in a dry “A” are respectable,
but little expansive, and a hard lot of
people. When the Latin “E” prevails,
choly there prevails also a phlegmatic, unsteady melan¬
temper. Timorous, peo¬
ple, also those imbued with malignity,
always laugh iu a kind of swelling “I.”
Laughter in “O” is the utteiance of
proud, bold, imperative, somewhat ban¬
tering people. Beware of those that
laugh in “oo” (o). They are traitors,
haters, scorners.
Mrs. Livermore humorously tells this
about herself: She went to a town in
Maine to deliver a lecture. A young min¬
ister, who felt greatly his importance in
having to introduce so large a light, an¬
nounced her iu tin se words: ‘ ‘Ladies and
gentlemen, you have all heard of the il¬
lustrious man across the water, so belov¬
ed by his people, and who is known by
the sobriquet of the ‘grand introducing old man.’ 1 i
have now the honor of to
you a lady beloved in Boston, and known
there as tne ’grand old woman!”
A neat bit of proverbial philosophy,
said to be of Japanese origin, is, “Be
like the tree which covers with flowers
the hand that shakes it.”
Brown’s Iron Bitters furnishes Rid to the
stomach to accomplish its work. Only a med-
i cine which has a s ecific action upon the
Btcmach will do you any good, and Brown’s
Iron Bitters will act directly upon that organ,
toning it up and giving it strength to do its
work, relievingthe pressure upon the nervo e
system, and improving strengthening the the nerves, ouicke' ing
lency and heartburn, a petite, removing flatu-
and dispelling the dizzy restoring the appetite
• pelts which are se
annoying, and may prove very dangerous.
An expert carpenter in Michigan lias con¬
structed a settee out of an ordinary lien.
“Stick to your bus r.ess,’’ is very good ad¬
vice, hilt t-tili there are a great many people profit¬
in the worid who ha ve no regular and
able business to stick to; and there are others
who are fo lowing a line of b siue«s which is
manifestly h the unsuited to ihera. Now, when
sui is case, you had better write to B. F.
Johnson & t’o., Richmond, Ya., and see if (hey
cannot give you a pointer. They have helped
a great, many men and women along the way
to fortune, and now stand ready to assist you.
too.
What do vou chew ?
“LUCY HINTON!”
Why?
Because it is the best I can find.
Who makes it ?
T. C. Williams Co., Richmond, Va.
Who sells it ?
All dealers.
How can I recognize it ?
'the name Lucy Hinton is on every ping.
No Rival in the Field.
There is no remedy which can rival Ham¬
burg Figs for the cure of habitual constipation,
indigestion, and sick-headache. Their action
is as prompt and efficient as their taste is
pleasant. 35 cents. Dose one Fig. Mack Drug
Co., N. Y.
Bradfie’d’s Femile Regulator will cure all
irregularities or derangements peculiar to wo-
“• 801,1 by
Orrron, llie Pnrndi«*e of Farmers.
Mild, equable climate, certain and abundant
props. Lest fruit, grain, grass and stock
country in the world. Fuil information free,
Address Dreg. Im’igr’t’n Board, Portland,Ore.
If afflicted with sore eyes use Dr. Isaac Thomp¬
son’s Eye-water. Druggists ell at 35c per bottle
Weak and Weary
Describes the condition of many people debilitate/,
by the warm weather, or disease, or overwork.
Hood’s Sarsaparilla Is just the medicine needed tr
overcome that tired feeling, to purify and qnicken
the sluggish blood and restore the lost appetite. If
you need a good medicine be sure to try Hood’s
Sarsaparilla.
“My appetite was poor, I could not sleep, bad head¬
ache a great deal, pains in my back, my bowels did
not move regularly, nood's 'arsapari.'la In a short
time did me so much good that I feel like a new
man. My pains and aches are relieved, my appetite
improved .”—OeoaaE F. Jacksos, Roxlmry Station,
Conn.
Hood’s Sarsaparilla
Sold by all druggists. $t; six for $S. Prepared onl.
by C. L HOOD A CO., Lowell, Mass.
IOO coses One Dollar
jl rlUM aasgw
Atlanta, Os. Utfico CMi WhitoUaii fit-
$25 «youR 70 jv* r’.n ffrs
I!®ld Yowr Own,
“I see you’re ho’.din? your own,” said a vis¬
iting friend to a sick nun. “Yes, and FI
pull through if my hands don’t slip,” was tha
reply; and he did pull through. Eirnest effort
and will-power will assist au invalid’s recovery
in a remarkable degree, and we should ever be
determined and hope, no ratttor what oar
tl ctors may say. i here arj hundreds who
would still b ■ m tiering tho ho rors of blood
poison, that surely was bringing them nearer
and nearer to th grave, if th y had given up
hope when their dootois pr m winced their cases
decoctions incurable, or when many extensive v advertised
prov d inert an 1 wor.'hl s-». But
they would not g.ve np, and as good fortune
w uid have i , fi lally gave B. B. B. (B >ta'iio
B.ood B dm) a trial, which pravel to b -the
very rfect remedy he.i ta v needed, amt restore ! the n to
p othersof th; curt ig some of running ulcers,
rheumatism and ae tinjoin s, others
of pimp.es and annoying skin blemishes, others
of catarrh, others of weak kkln ami m Ugos-
turn, others of lame back ami general debility.
Try it. Try it now !
V by is a physic an a good linguist? Because
he understands all tongues.
The Wisest Girt.
" I bou -lit my wife ack."
Thus a vo vet
She’ll be, proud y boasted Mr. Brown.
with that upon iier back.
The best dress d dame in town.”
But velvet sack o diamond ring
Can bring no balm to suffering wife.
Favorite Pro* ription is the thing
To save he pr cious life.
Tho groat an i overeijrn remedy, know the
world ovo , i or all female troubles, nilamma-
tion, cruel backache and internal dis laco¬
nic tit a is l)r. Pierce's Favo Itc Prescription. It
is the only ytm; au.'ee ; cure, bee guarantee on
every bott.e-wrapper.
Dr. Pierce’s Pel ots ce ltly laxative or ac-
tiveh cathartic acco ding to dose. 25 cents.
Scientist—“Doyou believe in -i> : rit-?” Ken¬
tuckian—“Thanks, don't keer ef 1 do.
One bv one the roses fall, but “Tansill’s
Punch ” 5c iear outlives them all
S^^ADFIELD’S
1 FEMALE-
r REGULATOR
jJAJPLCIFIC
pA|i’ FOR ’XfflL
DR
LI A |ON _ . .
J I
on MONTHLY SICKNESS
SU?
jdooK TO"WOM
BRADF/ELD REGULATOR CO. ATLANTA GA.
sclzdysjj. caueasrx
“
1 yQU WIBH A {with
good
REVOLVER
b!-tea smith & wesson (QH j * -
first ““/'n'lnufactur^^d choice The ^*5=^
of ail experts.
gieora^ui^action.’safet^'HammVriesii »Si
manshlp 1:11 rabilttv and and stock, t hey are unrivaled Do not be for deceived fininb*
cheap malleaWe acctirncv. by
often cast-iron imitations which
a e sold for the genuine article ana are not
cnlv unreliable, but dangerous. The SMITH *
WESSON Revolvers are all stumped upon the bar-
rels with firm’s name, address an<1 dates of pat- nta
dealer cannot sup: ly you an order e-nt to address
pUonlon Desc^tivecTtT/oAieaTd^VfcesfTrni-hednponap^ S31ITH & WESSON,
-
f* Men tion this pap er, Springfield, Muss.
CHICHESTER i=» u<GL!Sh
C2C33 DIAMOND E2AND.
^ iX AxWawi-T* Awcft
»JiT ffj board s;<* otii€.*r. boxes, pink All wrapper>. iu jgi-ie- dan
art* a
/ ou* t •oil n ter ft-it. Send 4e. tstampa) for
filar* and “fticllef for rudlen,” i*
moniula r LADIES letter , by retisi-s* mail. Uati-
from wliohave used them. Name Paper.
Clliclicster (Jiiuiuioa! (-n..9f uritaon
ARE YOU THINKING
OF BUYING A
Cotton or Hay Press?
Ml We mnnufartere a Cotton
Press and two Hiy Presses.
AV 1 11 seid Cir ularsaud Prica
J Li^t upon Hi>p>ic:ition.
o IUMMIKE IKON AND
WOOD WORKS,
ijjjif CHATTANOOGA, TENN.
p. o. B x m
Patronize HOME
INDUSTRY!
BUY .SOUTHERN—3IADK
PRINTING INKS
— FIU1M—
FRANK J. COHEN, General Agent
23 Bust Alnbiiiiiu St., ATLANTA. GA.
TnAFJ
J •' ,
‘g'Sj .v
•,
_
W
‘J
w
t,
I <
After ALL other!
fall, consult
320 N. 15th St.
5 PHILA., PA.
Twent wenty j ears’ con ntinuous tin i practice in the treat-
ment nt and and cure of the fivv itiI rflects of early
vice, ce, destroylu destroying b< tt! inicit and body. Medicine
an d treatment eat men t for for one month, Five Dollars, sent
secure :Iy sealed from observation to any address.
Book on Special Diseases Tree.
\r* m
1
a! vl >,
’
—
f Va H l_ L, IE fFll 13? ri M
p sin ale QnHege.
Locate! in t e heart of the b ianti-i nl ’’III *
n,Ttru>:tile b.'-st unexc jelled. Superior
The st school fur »r your daughter a»id Ph^»no- m the
\ rt, Music, L’teraty. Scientific
«> rap ij depart ment- 1 . fctrst-c iass boa .rd. Rtc& ooable
tf jnn«. Auply ear y to Ky.
REV. C. POPE, iVilLLERSBURG,
WASHINGTON MFOitSATlOH BUREAU,
COLL A DUEUI.i:, Proprietors,
933 1 strict N. \V., Waabiagtsn. D. C.
Generai informa'ion furnished.
Corre*poDd<- nce solicited.
a U S ! C— A R T— E LOCUT I O N and
I* General Culture. .Desirable Positions
o.K-n to progressive students. AU interested
will receive valuable informa’ion Free,
by addressing E. TOURJEE, Boston, Mass.
SB iborough y tauirht by MAIL. Clrju arm ire*-,
firyant's College, 437 Main ht. Buffalo. N. Y.
g* to Lints not :« day. under Samples horse’s worto feet. S Write 2 .I 5 Drew, Free.
W Water Stately Krill tlo.der C’w..Holly, Midi.
PEERLESS DYES £S,S?&J 3 S£
SjS*"”' __I '■OVA > dorwe prescribe Big G and tbe felly only en-
as
w Core* PATS. in XS specific for tbe certain cure
1 to 5 of this disease.
noi vc O. H. INGRAHAM. M. D..
t - ^9 sscse Stricter*. Amsterdam, N. Y.
yrS only by the We have sold Rig G tor
Ct6cl»! 3s. many given* years, and it has
ggjt Ciacinaa:i,s?1 P 3 the best of satis-
faction.
Ohio, n? D. R. DYCHE 4 CO..
Chicago. 111.
Trtle Sark? SI.00. Soli by Druggists.
A.N.U...... .........Twenty-eight, ’89
Plantation Engines
With Self-Contained
RETURN FLUE BOILERS,
FOR DRIVING
COTTON GINS and MILLS.
Illn^trate i Pamphlet Free. Address
James lefeel &. Co.
HPUINUFIEUk, OHIO,
or llO New York.
JONES
iim
PAYS THE FREIGHT.
•> T »i W agon f>c:;It*w,
Iron Lexers Steel Kealinjj!:, i raaa
Inre Leant ami i’eam Lox for.
Everc soo.
size Set ■tile. F<r free pricelist
ii< nt.on this pap* r and ml address address
JOsti OF BINGHAMTON,
IIINGIIA.IITO N. Y. ’
,
DUTCH ER’S
FLY KILLER
Makes a clean av. ecp. Every
sheet will kill a quart of Dies.
Stops buzzing around ears,
diving at eyes, tickling your
nose, skips hard words and se¬
cures peace at trifling ejqxmse.
Send cents for 5 sheets to
F. DUTCHER, St. Albans, Vt.