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THE NEWS. TOCCOA, GEORGIA. About five thousand Dakota Indians will become lull fledged citizens as soon as lands are allotted to them in severalty. It is announced that Secretary Blaine, in consultation with United States Minis¬ ter Ryan, has arranged a comprehensive plan for the promotion of reciprocal trade between this country and Mexico. The latter Government will unquestion¬ ably accept. Suicide as a risk to life decreases rap¬ idly after the thirty-fifth year, and the very old take their own lives as rarely a* the very young. Under ten and over seventy years of age, suicide is extremely rare and takes an insignificant place in the statistical tables. The American nation uses more soap per capita than any other on the globe. Where the English uses four pounds per head we use five and a half, No other nation uses over three pounds to our five. Italy uses least of all, and Russia beats her only by a few ounces. Cremation is coming more and more into vogue iu Germany, in spite of the expense and certain legal difficulties which render its performance in some parts almost an impossibility. At Gotha no fewer than one hundred bodies have been cremated during the present year. The nickel-in-the-slot contrivance has been utilized for the sale of postage stamps. A machine has been invented which will produce a two-cent stamp when two pennies are placed in the slot. There are also machines so contrived that a large number of stamps can be obtained when ten or fifty-cent pieces are used. 1'he inventor of the machine wants the [government, to adopt it. The number of persons employed last year in and about mines in the United Kingdom under the coal mines regula¬ tion act was 534,935, of whom 3935 were women working aboveground. In these mines there were 821 fatal acci¬ dents and 888 deaths, the number of accidents being nine less than in the pre¬ ceding year, and the number of deaths 107 less. Miss Mamie Isdcli, a dashing Missouri young woman of twenty-two years, has just been married to Jesse Fovel, of Calhoun County, Ill. Mr. Fovel, who is seventy-nine years of age, was compelled to give his bride $100,000 in securities and money. Miss Isdell, who was edu¬ cated in a convent, is a very beautiful girl. The groom has grandchildren older than his new bride. A Hebrew colonization society number¬ ing 500 members has been organized within the last two months in Pittsburg. The organization is known as the “Lovers of Zion,” and its object is to colonize Palestine with American Hebrews. About 1800 colonists have gone from this country already for this purpose. This is the outgrowth of a movement begun in Europe several years •go among the Hebrews of the middle and lower classes lo encourage emigration to Palestine to once more make Jerusalem the capital of the Orient. The leading Hebrews in this country, it is said, are opposed to the movement. Unlike most countries, China holds the suicide in honor, and by her law’s ex¬ tends to him the most lenient considera¬ tion, having regard in all eases to the motive which prompted self-slaughter. The motive is uot uufrequently revenge, as the Chinese law’ requires the house¬ holder on whose premises the dead body is found not only to provide the funeral expenses, but to compensate the relatives of the deceased. As suicide is thus a means of rescuing one's relatives from poverty, it has been made in China a fine art. A curious development of it is the practice of offering one's self as a sub¬ stitute for a person under sentence of death. This vicarious payment of legal penalties is, of course, much appreciated by rich criminals who are enamored of iffe. Secretary Rusk, although not the first Secretary of Agriculture to sit. in au American Cabinet, is the first to issue an annual report. The Washington Star asserts that “it will attract general atten¬ tion from the fact that it enters with *ome minuteness into subjects which ihow the real value to the country of such a department, conducted with skill at the executive end of the line and lib¬ erality at the Congressional end. It is ridiculous to claim that the usefulness of a piece of governmental machinery like this one ends with the collection of statistics and few general advisory func¬ tions. The Secretary proposes to raise his department from that level. He wants a national meat inspection law, for example, which shall enable public offi¬ cers to locate the centre of any disease which breaks out among American cattle, and prevent the shipments of live and dead meats unfit for consumption. An¬ other excellent recommendation is that the forestry interests of the Government be given more intelligent attention As are now, there is absolutely no way in which timber thefts ami forest fires can be prevented; and the loss to the Government irom these sources, as shown hj Chief leraow’s figures os repeated bivatn yes, Am Uk- ol a fair suji-fThfco i,,." CURRENT NEWS. CONDENSED FROM THE TELE¬ GRAPH AND CABLE. THINGS THAT HAPPEN FROM DAY TO DAY THROUGHOUT THE WORLD, CULLED FROM VARIOUS SOURCES. Adelina Marquis de Caux. formerly husband of Patti, is dead. A pay car was wrecked near Covington, Ind., Monday, and two railroad official's killed. * were C. L. J. Myer, Sons A Co., dealers in mantels,g rates, etc., iu Chicago, III., have made an assignment. Three thousand miners employed in eollcries at Oldbury, England, have given notice that they will strike unless they arc granted au increase of ten per cent in their wages. Patrick Sullivan, employed by the Manhattan Electric Light Compai y, was instantly killed Saturday morning by an electric shock, while at work in th com¬ pany's building. W. F. Camp, the most extensiv mer¬ chant in Polk ton, N. Y., made an assign¬ ment Saturday. His liabilities and assets arc not yet known, but both are s aid to Ik: heavy, and near the same. A passenger train on the Missouri Pacific railroad collided with a freight train near Pleasant Hill, Missouri, Friday night, and two tramps stealing a ride be¬ tween the tender and mail cars were crushed to pulp. One hundred and thirty printers from Berlin have been engaged to t;>k; the places of the strikers in Berne. The Baud and three other journals have con¬ solidated and will be issued under the title of the Normal Gazette. Warren Leland, Jr., hotel proprietor at Long Branch, N. J., on Friday made an assignment of all his property, including the Ocean hotel, Ocean theater, Ocean club house, etc., for the benefit of his creditors. His liabilities are $225,000. At a mass meeting of Knights of La¬ bor held at Wilkesbarre, Pa., on Satur¬ day, a resolution was passed to the effect that a demand of 20 per cent, advance in wages be made February 1st. The meeting was largely attended and com¬ posed of miners and laborers only. John I?. Rauch, Jr., who has for some¬ time past conducted a savings bank at Baltimore, was on Saturday reported to have disappeared with all his depositors’ money. The depositors in the bank wen composed mainly of poor persons, and the average amounts were from $3 to $20. Warehouse 14, at Baltimore, Md., owned by the Sadtler estate, was dam¬ aged by fire Saturday morning to the ex¬ tent of $15,000. Martinez <fc Co., cigai manufacturers., John It. Korb & Co., jewellers, ami George R. Willig & Co., dealers in musical instruments, occupied the building. Monday afternoon at New York, twe hundred and fifty white men, employed as longshoremen at the National Line pier stopped work suddenly because ne¬ groes were being employed by the same company. A week ago three negro hands and one white man were burned to death in the big lire at this pier. Monday The Post-Dispatch of St. Louis on morning, printed, under flaming headlines, a five-column expose of alleged legislative corruption at Jefferson City, Mo. It claims that the live stock inspec¬ tion bill, introduced by the St. Louis Butchers’ union in the last legislature, was defeated by the absolute purchase of state senators. Ferry, In a blinding snow storm at Little N. J., Saturday, a heavy coal train plunged into the Hackensack river, through an open drawbridge. The en¬ gine went out of sight, carrying with it the engineer, fireman and one brakeman. The snow prevented the engineer from seeing the danger signals, and nothing could be done to stop him. At New York Saturday morning the commissioner of public works, Gilroy, sent out four gangs of men to cut down the poles and wires of the electric light companies. Inspectors of the board cf electric control accompanied them to point out the poles on which the dangerous wires were strung. The companies are actively seeking another injunction. The Exchange elevators at Buffalo, N. Y., with a storage capacity of 350,000 bushels, the property of Greene & Bloom¬ er, together with 250,000 bushels of bar¬ ley, were totally destroyed by fire Monday morning. The elevator was most eliigibly located and the best equipped of any in Buffalo. The barley was valued at $125,- 000 and the elevator at $100,000. Delegates representing the mule spin¬ ners of New Jersey and the New England states held a convention at Fall River, Mass., on Sunday, and formed a confed¬ eration to be called the National Mule Spinners’ Association of America, An endeavor is to be made to obtain uniform standard wages throughout the United States, as the organization believe that to be the fairest plan for both manufactur¬ ers and operators. Three separate glycerine magazines blew up Monday morning at North Clar¬ endon. Pa. The amount of glycerine ex¬ ploded was over ten tons. The maga¬ zines were owned by Hie Rock Glycerine company, John Kunn and a Mr. McKay. No one, so far as can be learned, was in¬ jured. Nearly every window in Claren¬ don was broken, and much damage done to surrounding property. The loss is estimated at $100,000. Oil men claim it to be the largest explosion of the kind iu the history of the oil regions. OVATION TO COL POLK. -IE IS GIVEN A GRAND RECEPTION BY THE FARMERS OF NORTH CAROLINA. The Farmer's Alliance had a demonstra¬ tion at Raleigh, N. C., on Friday, upon the arrival of the president of the Na¬ tional Farmers and Laborers' Union, Col. Polk, from St. Louis. Colonel Polk was escorted to the city hall by a procession iu which were many public men aud offi¬ cers of the State and county Alliances, and a mounted escort of members of Oak- ridge Alliance, of which he is a charter member. A. C. Green, president of the Wake County Alliance,presided, ard Cal. Polk was greeted with great applause when he entered, accompanied by Acting Governor Holt. President Green vrel- corned him, as did also Governor Holt and Mayor Thompson. Addresses were made by State Labor Commissioner Searboro, Pres- tdent Tounoffskie, of the Knights of La- bor, Trustees Broughton aud W. H. S. Burgwva, of the State Agricultural aud Mechanical college, and other prominent men. In response Col. Polk delivered a forcible and eloquent address, among other things sating, this demonstration of approval bv hiT neighbors ws»s more gratifying position. to him than hjs election to the high ----- Subscribe far this paper 42 d »« whn is going ea is the etmnfr ~--- U will pay you to advertise wife u?, THE JURY’S VERDICT. TIIE CROXTN CASE BROCGIIT TO A CLOSE— THE VERDICT “GUILTY.” One of the most memorable trials in the criminal history of America, closed at Chicago Monday afternoon, when the jury impanelled three months ago rendered its verdict in the Cronin case. That the re¬ turn of this jury is a verdict, and not a disagreement, is a source of much con¬ gratulation in the public mind, and, although there is naturally much division of sentiment on the question of approval of the verdict, the sense of relief which is experienced is at the final eolmination of tlit case unanimous. On last Friday the case was given to the jury and up to Monday morning nc verdict had been agreed ujjoii. Rumors ol all kinds had been afloat Monday. How¬ ever erroneous it may be, the public ap¬ peared to have hastily arrived at ttic conclusion that there was to be a disa¬ greement. As the court convened at 2 p. m. to re¬ ceive the verdict of the jury, there was a momentary silence as the vast audience breathlessly awaited the first words ol Judge McConnell as he mounted the ros¬ trum. The verdict was as follows: “We, the jury, find the defendant, John F. Bcggs, not guilty. We. tlit jury, find the defendant, John Kunze, guilty indictment, of manslaughter, as charged in the and fix liis punishment at im¬ prisonment in the penitentiary for tin term of three years. We, the jury, find the defendants, Daniel Coughlin, Patrick O’Suliivan and Martin Burke, guilty ol murder in the manner and form as charged in the. indictment, and fix the penalty at imprisonment their in the penitentiary for tin term of natural lives.” Simulta¬ neous with the announcement of the ver¬ dict, Coughlin, O'Sullivan and Burke turned deathly pale, while Kunze started suddenly from his seat, and a moment later dropped his head upon his breast and burst into tears. SOUTHKRN NOTE'. INTERESTING NEWS FROM ALL POINTS IN THE SOUTH. GENERAL PROGRESS AND OCCURRENCES WHICH ARE HAPPENING BELOW MA¬ SON’S and dixon’s line. The Virginia senate, on Friday, passed a bill repealing the law opening Hog Is¬ land Flats for planting oysters. The jury in the Kilrain rase, at Purvis, Miss., on Saturday, returned a verdict of not guilty of prize figh ing, but guilty of assault and battery. T.iev were out live hours. Hon. Thomas F. Bayard, ex-secretary of state, has accepted an invitation of the deliver Huguenot society, of South Carolina, to the anniversary oration of the so¬ ciety at Charleston, April 13. A large tubular boiler at Randall & Bro.’s saw mill, Covington, Tenn., ex¬ ploded Saturday, completely demolishing the building and killing Fireman Jones and Mr. Stuart, one of the firm, Two other employes were seriously hurt. Western nail manufacturers to the num¬ ber of fourteen mills met in Wheeling, W. Va., Friday morning and after a long discussion over the condition of trade, advances in raw material, etc., concluded to advance the price of nails to $2.25 net, A strike occurred at Chattanooga, Tenn., on Saturday, of eighty-five brick¬ layers in the employ of D. J. Chandler, and sixty-three stonecutters in the employ of the Chattanooga stone and marble cutting company, A difference of five cents an hour on Saturday was the cause. Half a dozen fanners, who were return¬ ing to their home from Dallas, Texas, after selling their cotton, were robbed by highwaymen on the road near White Rock. Bloodhounds were put on their track, and a report has reached Dallas that two of the robbers were captured and hanged by the enraged farmers. General Manager Bond, of the Tennes¬ see Coal, Iron and Railroad company, returned from New York Friday morning, and, after conferring with a committee of Pratt Mines miners, all differences were arranged, and the miners agreed to return to work at the present prices. Their wages are to be raised as the price of iron advances. Advices Saturday from Key West indi¬ cate that the cigar strike is further from settlement than ever. The men are better organized and are receiving daily large sums from other labor organizations, They lose nothing but their wages, wliile the manufacturers are losing their profits, having their trade broken up and being subjected to monthly expenses of over $1,000 each. The strikers now laugh at at every attempt at a compromise. A successful test of a new fibre dceorti- cator, invented bv Mr. J. J. Green, of Jackson, Miss., was made Saturday. Its principle is to split the stalk of ramie or hemp, and then strip the fibre the length of the st ilk without loss. The machine, in crude form, was tested in Paris, in 1888, and was awarded four hundred francs prize money. It decorticates green or dry ramie, separates fibre from herbs, and with two men will work about 100,- 000 stalks in ten hours, or half an acre a day. criminal negligence. A RAILROAD WATCHMAN CAUSES FOUR MEN TO LOSE THEIR LIVES. When one of the fast New York and Washington express trains on the Balti¬ more and Potomoc arrived at Washing¬ ton Saturday night, the dead body of a man was found on the cow-catcher of the engine. It was subsequently learned that the train had run into a wagon filled with countrymen on the outskirts of the city. Four men were killed—two white and two colored—and one colored man was badly-injured. The men were in a cov¬ ered wagon and drove across the track without concern, as the guard gates were open. The watchman at the crossing, whose duty it was to close the gate at the charge approach of a train, was arrested on the of manslaughter. THE INFLUENZA. THE DREADED DISEASE HAS APPEARED IN THIS COUNTRY. - The influenza has appeared in Now York city. It is stated that the disease is the same as that which has spread over Europe. Thus far eight cases have been reported to the health department, and they are all iu one family. In all cases the symptoms are said to be identical. Health officers say they are nnt surprised at its appearance here. It is not danger- ons, but if it tend* to become epidemic all cases will be quarantined. The treat- went is the spraying of the affected mem- broae freely and frequently with a solu- tion of quinine an a internal admiBistre. to sf quiniye, beUadcsga and camphor, — — "----=- y ou should subscribe this paper by ai! " ra*ftfi§, • ■ AT THE CAPITAL. WHAT THE FIFTY-FIBST CON¬ GRESS IS DOING. APPOINTMENTS BY PRESIDENT HARRISON— MEASURES OF NATIONAL IMPORTANCE AND ITEMS OF GENERAL INTEREST. All of Monday’s nominations, several hundred in number, were of persons ap¬ pointed to office during the recess of con¬ gress. The House joint resolution for print¬ ing agricultural report for 1889 amend¬ was passed in the Senate Monday with ments fixing the number of cop c? at 4< 0,000, and appropriating $200,000 for expense's. The deficiencies sub-committee of the appropriations committee began to work Friday by preparing an urgent deficiency bill to meet a dificiency of about $150,000 in the government printing office, and of $350,000 for the printing needed by the census office. The Pan-American conference, on Fri¬ day, completed the wyrk of formulating rules and appointing committees, and ad¬ journed until January 2. Meantime the delegates w ill visit New York and other points. It is said that several or the subjects com¬ mittees expect to report upon the assigned to them at the re-assembling of the conference January 2. The house committee on elections held its first meeting and effected organization Friday morning. A sub¬ committee on rules was selected, consist¬ ing of the chairman, Messrs. Honk, Coop¬ er, Chrisp and fl’Ferrall. This sub¬ committee will be charged with the ar¬ rangement of the seventeen contested election cases now awaiting settlement. The committee will meet again subject to call, when the sub-committee is ready to report. Mr. Platt offered resolutions making changes and additions in the personnel and of committees, agreed to in caucus, which have been published. All agreed to. Mr. Call offered a resolution (which was referred io the judiciary committee) Ch as to the constitutional district right judge of the les Swaync, appointed of northern district of Florida, to exercise the duties of that office, with¬ out confirmatory action by the Senate. The senate then proceeded to the consid¬ eration of executive business. The eon- current resolution offered by Mr. Ingalls last week for a holiday recess from Thurs¬ day, December 19, to Monday, January 6, was taken up for action. Mr. Edmunds demanded the yeas and nays upon it, ex¬ pressing bis own opposition to it. The resolution was agreed to—yeas, 47; nays, 12 . The annual report of the commissioner of internal revenue shows that the num¬ ber of saloon-keepers in the country is much less than it was three years ago. More than that, it shows that exports of liquor are also reduced fully twenty per cent as compared with five or six years ago. The number of persons dealing in malt liquors exclusively has also fallen off within the past two or three years, the reduction of these being fully forty per cent. The reduction in the number of dealers in liquors has been especially marked in the south. In every one of the ■southern states excepting Maryland, there has been a decrease. In Georgia there has been a reduction of nearly forty per cent, and in Tennessee about twenty-five per cent. The number of liquor dealers in the United States, wholesale and retail, is about 180,000. Three years ago they numbered about 205,000. another death trap. A PANIC IN TnE THEATRE BUILDING IN UNFORTUNATE JOHNSTOWN. During the performance of “Uncle Tom’s Cabin” at the Park opera house at Johnstown, Pa., Tuesday night the cry of fire was raised, resulting in a terrible rush down the narrow stairs. About a score of persons were instantly killed and many terribly injured. People rushed from, the outside up the narrow stairs (and forcing were its crushed by the the crowd way to street. Seventy-five person were injured. When the crowd was driven away, the following persons were found dead upon the stairs: Miss Clara Burns, Mrs. Nes- ter, George Herner, Charles Fiant, John Carr, Mrs. Lester, John Miller, A. Weiss, John Wayman, Richard Worthington, Isaac Tolar, an unknown woman. Among the seriously injured were Charles Yaugh, Albert Owens, and a man named Wiemer. There are about thirty others injured, but their names cannot be ascer¬ tained. The alarm was false and there are many threats against the unknown man who started it. PHOSPHATE BEDS. A SCHEME ON FOOT TO SELL THEM TO K SYNDICATE OR TRUST. The rews of the development of a pro¬ ject in Columbia, 8. C., looking to the outright sale by the State of all its right, title and interest in the phosphate beds, for a sum uot less than seven million dol¬ lars, lias caused a stir in the phosphate mation exchange at Charleston. The first inti¬ of the project was the introdue tion of the bill in the legislature by the ways and means commi ttee on Friday. The phosphate industry is the principal industry of Charleston. Milhous of dol¬ lars are invested in it by natives, north¬ erners and foreigners. Most of the fer¬ tilizer works of Europe and America get their supplies there. The deposits on the streams are moved by companies who pay the State a royalty of about one dollar a ton, the revenue to the State amounting to about $200,000 a year. Should the State dispose of its interest, the pur¬ chasers would be at liberty to inerea: e this royalty to any figure, as there is no restriction in the proposed bill. THE LABOR FEDERATION. MEET IN BOSTON. MASS., 4ND ELECT OFFI- CERS FOR THE ENS uft'G YEAR. The National Federation of Labor, at Boston, Mass., on Saturday, elected the following officers: President, Samuel Gompers, of New York; W. II. Martin, of the Amalgamated Association of Iron and Steel Workers, United first vice-president; Brother¬ P. Maguire, of the States hood of Carpenters and Joiners, second vice-president; and Christopher Evans, of Miners Mine Laborers. Secretary: Henry Einrich, of Furniture Makers un¬ ion. treasurer. for After selecting Detroit the as the place the next year’s meeting, federation adjourned. MOVEMENT OF SPECIE -- York Exports last week of specie amounted from the port $299,035, of New to u f which $49,235 was gold, and $247,SCO silver, Qi tin total export $1,200 in gold and $225,630 is slider went to Europe and $49,035 in gold and $22,220 in silver to amounted South America, $29,028, Imports of which of $U>8G1 specie to wm in gold aad $17,107 silver, BUDGET OF FUN. aUMOROUS SKETCHES FROM VARIOUS SOURCES. sufficient For Him—Another Broken Friendship—Lived in a Glass House—Hardly Satisfactory- Repartee, Etc., Etc. The hop and the German, The mad social whirl, Will soon entertain The society girl. But her juvenile brother With natural vim. Pronounces the snow-ball Sufficient for him. —Merchant Traveler. ANOTHER BROKEN FRIENDSHIP. Miss Effie Ancee (just engaged’)— “What do you think Edwin said last niglut ? That if he had to choose either me or a million dollars, he wouldn t even look at the million.” Miss May Tour (still waiting)— “Dear, loyal fellow! I suppose he didn’t like to risk the temptation."— Time. LIVED IN A GLASS HOUSE. Mrs. Badger—“You must have a nice kind of a mother if she lets you fight in the street like this and get a black eye. ” Little Johnny—“I was fighting with vour boy, ma’am, and he s got two black eyes .”—New York Sun. HARDLY SATISFACTORY. Guest (angrily)—“Confound your awkwardness! You’ve spilt half that soup down my back.” Waiter at restaurant (heartily)— “Don’t mind it, sir. I'll bring some more. Bless you, there’s plenty of soup.” — Chicago Tribune. REPARTEE. “My!” quoth Mr. Jones. “Pans when full accommodates four millions of people.” “Humph!” said Mrs. Jones, “That's four million times more accommodating than you are when full.”— Munsc>/s Weekly. A STRONG RESEMBLANCE. Milkman—“I wantsome cream paper.” Stationer—“Here, sir, is what iike you want, I think. It looks very much the cream you've been furnishing me— very thin and very white.”— Puck. IT WAS TOUGH. i 4 What’s the matter with the beef¬ steak?” asked tire landlady. “I don’t know,” replied the new boarder; “but I have a horrible suspi- cion that the cow was affected with gen¬ eral ossification.” A SURE SIGN. “Jones,” said Suivthe, as he watched a couple strolling near, “that is a first love affair.” “How do you know?” “I just heard her make him promise not to smoke or drink.”— Time. A PROFESSIONAL SHINER. Gazzam (imitating a passer-by)—“That young man shines a good deal iu soci¬ ety.” Dolly—“Ah! Who is he?” Gazzam—“Don't know his name; but he’s a bootblack.”— Munsey's Weekly. RESTRICTED. Her Husband—“Are you going to the Smith's garden party, dear?” rii.-> Wife—“No; I never accept invi- . tat ions from people who don t know me.” “And you never receive them from persons who do know you. London vu-nny Lois. EXAGGERATION. “I think Cora Fibbery is awful. She exaggerates so.” “That’s so. Are you going down town now?” “No, my head aches as though ten million knives were running through it. I’ll stay and finish this novel.”— Time. FOUND IT IN THE DARK. Landlord—“Well, sir, how did you find your bed last night?” Surly Guest—“Find it! Just like anybody else that didn’t know where the matches were. Groped around and barked my shins. Drat a hotel where the halls aren’t lighted !”—Burlington Free Press. SURE TO MAKE A SALE. Miss Passee (aged forty)—“I w’ish to see a bonnet.” Milliner—“For yourselve, miss?” Miss Passee—“Yes.” Milliner—“Marie, run dow’n stairs and get r/.e ze hats for zee ladies between eighteen and twenty-five years.”— Mun¬ sey's Weekly. THE MONIED MAN. Croesus (to hotel proprietor)—“Can you accommodate me by cashing a check for $10,000?” Hotel Proprietor—“Ten thousand dol- lars! Why, I never saw so much money in my life! However, my ^porter is around somewhere, and he will doubt- less be glad to accommodate you.”— Time. NOT A COMPLETE SEPARATION. Mother—“Johnny, I don’t want you to play with that little Brownjones boy any longer; do you hear?” Johnny—“ Yes’m. ” 4 4 Now, don’t let me hear of you dis¬ obeying me.” ”No‘m, but I may fight him, mayn’t I, if I want to?”— Punch. HEARD HDI ONCE. Bilks—“Come up and hear our new minister to-day.”' Nobbs—“No, thanks; I heard him once and have always regretted it.” Bilks—“Why, I guess you are mis¬ taken.” Nobbs—“Not a bit of it; he is the minister who married us .”—Kearney En¬ terprise. FELT NO PAIN HIMSELF. Patient—“I . thought—ouch! I thought your sign said gee whiz. be careful that you ‘extracted teeth without pain.’ Dentist— “Certainly, my friend ” Patient -But wow! what c.o you call this?” Dentist—“I am extracting the teeth a4 d I assure you that I feel no pain whatever. ~4 SaTQpSU ?EkSON, “Bub, ho- f u It to the daypo?” he asked of ., avenue jesterday, “Daypo is French, isn’t it?” queried the bov in reply. “Yes.” “Then you’d better ask some French- man. You couldn't find it in English.” —Detroit Free Press. THE FINAL COUNT. “There, darling, the last one," said he, as he started down the steps. He had nearly reached the gate when she called him back. ‘•I've just been counting up,” she said, “and that last kiss we took was the thirteenth, and that is an awfully un¬ lucky number, you know.” When he finally got away the score was thirty-seven.— Terre llante Express. A LONG ENGAGEMENT. She—“I haven't anything new to sing to you to-night, George.” He—“Well, give me something of old then. ’ She broke into a refrain that, was “* song of the day” seventeen years before. He (at the close)—“That's very, very old, Clara.” She—“Yes, George; I sang that to you the night we became engaged.”— Judge. THE WORM TURNED. Mr. Bully Ragg—“Now, sir, you have stated under oath, that this man had the appearance of a gentleman. Will you be good enough to tell the jury how a gen¬ tleman looks, in your estimation?” Down-trodden Witness—“Well, er—a gentleman looks—er—like—ar—” Mr. Bully Ragg—“I don't want any of your ers, sir; and remember that you are on oath. Can you see anybody in this court room who looks like a gentle¬ man?” Witness (with sudden asperity)—“I can if you'll stand out of the way. You're not transparent.”— Puck. HIS NARROW ESCAPE. Emma—“No, George, it cannot be. We must part. (Bitterly.) 3 y purse- proud father will not accept a poor man for his son-in-law.” George (frantically)—“Say not so. I cannot give thee up. My heart will break. I-” (Purse proud father enters the room without observing them. Throws him¬ self into a chair and groans aloud)— “Bankruptcy , Ruin! Every dollar s w'ept !Vwa > . George (sweeping himself away at these words)—“Farewell, then Emma, since you discard me. (But he says to himself)—Mighty narrow escape, that.” —Texas Siftings. SO THERE WAS. “Do you mean to sav,”.he protested to the young St. Thomas man who had just got back, “that you were in New York citv a whole week and didn't get robbed?” “That’s what I say.” “Didn’t get confideneed ?’ “No, sir.” “Didn't lose your watch?” “No, sir.” “Didn’t get buncoed?” “No, sir.” “And got out all right?’ “I did.” “Well, there’s something mighty strange way back of it somewhere.” “So there is. I hadn’t a watch nor a d—d cent to be robbed of, and I got out on the last ear of a long freight train .”—New York Sun. A Mexican Diligence. The number of mules in a diligence - f eam } n y[ ex ico is usually eight, four in ’ the sv;i aud two iu the lead and wheel each . 0a our trip we changed every two hours, thus using fifty-six mules dur- ing the day. They were active, sturdy little fellows, too; as indeed they had to be to make such time over the rocks and washouts and hills we met with en route. The Mexican driver is a good one and is a prince of princes on the road. He cracks jokes on the passers-by, nods to the better class of these, and passes the peons by with no notice at all, save per¬ haps a playful crack at them with his lash. This they never resent. Is it not the swift-traveling diligencia and is he not the great cochero who gets a dol¬ lar the day? With each coach travel two mozos or hired men. One of these sits on the driver’s left and it is his duty to touch up with his lash any lagging mule, the driver confining himself principally to the wheelers. The other mozo half the time runs on foot beside the coach. It is his role to straighten out traces and harness, block the wheels where stops are made on steep inclines, etc. The driver does nothing but look out for the road. When the stage reaches a town for the night he jumps oft the box, leans up against the wheel, rolls a cigarette and calmly watches the mozos unhitch the team.— Washington Star. A Country Covered With Salt. Everything in the country of the River Chai, in Central Asia, is described by Gabriel Bouvalot as covered with salt. It is seen in the walls of the houses and on the banks of the rivers, and the water °ne drinks is salt. Traveling saltpeter makers go in summer from place to place wherever they can find material to work upon. Their mode of operation is a rough-and-ready one. Holes in the earth serve as vats and boilers, and be¬ low these are placed ovens. Abundance of brushwood supplies materials for the fires. The workers collect from the sur- face of the earth heaps of a composet of salt and refuse. This is soaked for twenty-four hours in water, then filtered and then boiled for twenty-four hours, cleansed and placed in the sun, so that the water may evaporate. An ordinary workman can make about fifty pounds in a day, and this he sells at the rate of a penny a pound. The workers appear quite contented with their lot, and the industry is preserved in their familes for generations. Not the First Discoverer. Hendrick Hudson was not the first white man to sail the Hudson. An old French map by Dufosse has just been re¬ ceived by State Librarian Howell at Al- bany, N. Y., which shows that the river bearing name wa * known as the Riviere Graude before Mr. Hudson and his bold Dutch crcw glided over the waters of it in the Half Mooo Thig j 8 0 f great historical value, establishi , r . , .. . ^ wim^wul calied\\mimbe»a fes50r Eben H orsford has lately given con- tnaJy decided tb»tifc “ega, and was in the eastern 5£ made m° in to vicinity #1 tto Onrade «r WINTER APPLES. What at jeer is there that is half so good, la the snowy waste of a winter night, As a dancing fire of hickory wood, And an easy-chair in its mellow light, And a pearmain apple, ruddy and sleek, Or a jenneting with a freckled cheek ? A russet apple is fair to view, With a tawny tint like an autumn leaf. The warmth of a ripened corn-field’s hue. Or golden hint of a harvest sheaf; And the wholesome breath of a finished year Is help in a winesap’s blooming sphere. They bring you a thought of the orchard trees, In blossomy April and leafy June, And the sleepy droning of bumble-bees, In the lazy light of the afternoon And tangled clover and bobolinks. Tiger-lilies and garden pinks. If you’ve somewhere left, with its gablet wide, A farm house set in au orchard old, You'll see it all in the winter-tide At sight of a pippin’s green and gold. Or a pearmain apple, ruddy and sleek, Or a jenneting with a freckled cheek. —Hattie Whitney, in St. Nicholas. PITH AND POINT. High protection.—A sealskin overcoat. The man who eats oleomargarine feedfc on the fat of the land. Arithmetic is the sum of many ft small boys trouble.— Merchant Traveler. The horse sometimes distinguishes himself for his neigh-borly manner. When an artist is short of material he draws on his imagination.— Statesman. The boot is a very helpful institution. It has given many a man a lift.— Bing ha niton Herald. Of course it is not a crime to be poor, but it might just as well be so long a i its penalties are so severe. Poetry is said to be a gift, and no one knows it so well as the poet who tries tc sell it.— Binghamton Herald. Some men can get along on their indi¬ vidual merits, but the oarsman must al¬ ways be “a man with a pull.” A man doesn't look at a salary as hf does at a wheelbarrow. He thinks il ought to be drawn in advance. She—“What do you suppose supports the vast arch of the heavens?” lie— “The moonbeams, I guess.”— Lowell Citi¬ zen. 'j he head that wears a crown is too frequently mentioned. Was there ever a head that didn't wear a crown?— Judge. The sentence “Ten dollars or thirty days” is another proof of the truth of the adage that time is money.— Pittsburgh Chronicle. Blobsou offers to bet $5 that there ii more bark on his dog than on one of the big redwood tree of California.— Burlington Free Press. “You don’t mean to say he is the lion of the season!” “Yes. Why not?” “I judged from his mauners he was more of ii bear.” — Puck. The man who boasted that he was “as regular as the sun” forgot that the lumi¬ nary rises only twice in the year at the same time.— Puck. Proud Mother—“Oh, John, the baby can walk!” Cruel Father—“Good?” “He can walk the floor with himsolf at night, then.”— Detroit News. “What is the matter?” asked a travel- ing man of a hotel clerk. “Are you out on a strike!” “No; I’m not; but my wife is .”—Merchant Traveler. Mr. Doleful— “O, I feel all used up, and sick of life. I don’t know where to go.” Mrs. D.—“Why not go iulo the blue room for awhile, dear?” Ha, wicked girl, you broke my heart, I How could you act so bad a part? But that, alas! is not the worst; You broke my heart, but broke me first. . — Time. “What? Is the Widow Brown going to be led to the altar for the third time?” “No. I guess not. She ought to be able to find her way there herself by this time. ”— Fliegende Blaetter. “If I were au oyster,” sighed the crab, f “I wouldn’t know what to do. For they’re most always being embroiled, Or getting into a stew.” —New York Herald. The blacksmith, however much he may feel disposed at times to become weary of his arduous and grimy employment, can always find some consolation in the fact that in it he has a shoer tiling.— Boston, Budget. A West Virginian trained a tiny stream of water to fall drop by drop on a rock, and in five years it has worn a hole seven inches deep in solid stone, He could have made the same hole in fifteen min- utes with a chisel and hammer.— Detroit Free Press. It has been proved that the strength, care and thought expended by the average housewife in coaxing a weak chested, hollow backed, consumptive geranium up tivo inches, would lift a ton weight three-quarters of a mile and raise a tliou- -aud dollar mortgage out of sight.— New York Nevis. People Jndged by Their Lo »ks. “Four people out of five,” remarked a gentleman to the Washington Post talking-machine, “carry some distin¬ guishing mark of occupation or habit. Now see. That man is a jeweler. Do you see the peculiar wrinkles around his right eye and eyebrow. Those come from habitually carrying his jeweler's glass there. Half those passers-by are desk-workere. Their shoulders droop. See that young lady? When she is at home she sits with her left limb drawn up under her—sits on it in fact. The knee is forced out. See where it hits her skirts? Her walk is one-sided in consequence. Those young men are bicycle-riders. They walk on their toes like a mincing school-girl. Now. can you tell me why dry-goods clerks ah\ ay have an affected walk? They do.” A Revolting Spectacle. The other day, in a city not a thousand miles from Seattle, a grandfather and a father were contending in court for the custody of a family of children. One of the children, a bright boy of ten years, was placed on the witness-stand, and re¬ peatedly declared: “I hate my father’ I hate him! I hate him!” The father bowed his head and wept. The grand, father—a member of the United States » awwove “Tf* tm*, probablv unfit for custody of the ^Lti.-Snuh * '