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HUMOR OF THE HOUR
Fully I’repared.
“Mr. Spudlong,” began the youth,
hanging his hat on the back of his
chair, “I will occupy only a few mo¬
ments of your time. I I have come to
ask you for your daughter. I”—
“Young man,” said the elderly bank-
ir, “do you”—
“Yes, sir. I realize fully that she has
been tenderly nurtured and that she is
very dear to you; also that her home is
one in which she has been surrounded
by every luxury. But she is willing to
leave It.”
“Can you”—
“No, sir; I can’t quite maintain her
In the style to which she has been ac¬
customed, but I have a good salary,
and I’m ready to chance it. So is she.”
“Will you”—
“Yes, sir; I will keep my life insured
for a sum sufficient to provide for her
if I should be taken away.”
“Would you”—
“No, sir; I would not expect to live
with the family. I am able to buy and
furnish a modest home for her.”
“Young man,” said Mr. Spudlong,
looking at his watch, “I rather li:
your style. You can have her. Good”—
“Morning, sir.”—Chicago Tribune.
A Homan Centiped.
It is said that a young officer at the
front recently wrote to his father:
“Dear Father—Kindly send me £50 at
once. Lost another leg in a stiff eiv
gagement and am in hospital without
means.”
The answer was: “My Dear Son—
As this Is the fourth leg you have lost,
according to your letters, you ought
to be accustomed to it by this time.
Try and wabble along on any others
you may have left.”—Tit-Bit^.
Stop the Cough and Work off the
cold.
Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets cure a
Id in one da?- N Cure, No Pay. Price
canto.
i
Sk« A*r^ed AVith Him.
Husband—Rup you must admit that
my taste is better than yours. ; ’ ' t
Wife—^Yes, of course ft is. ‘
Husband—I’m surprised to hear you
say so. . . tli
Wife—Oh, there’s nothing remai l ka :
ble abbut it! Tlib mere fact'that you
married me and I married you proves
it— Chicago Newp.
Not Used to It. } * i i}
“Delia,” said Mrs.. Wanterby, .who
had some “nice people”, £9 dinner, “it
seems to me the coffee looks a t'riife’
weak.” I I 4 *
“It ain’t the coffee’s fault, ma’am,”
replied Delia. “ ’Tis too iRUcli crame
ye put in It. Ye ain’t used to crame,
rn “—Philadelphia Pfess.”
- . >.:■■: I •: : > I f 1 * • - ’ j 4 ,
TTo Cure Cold In one Dsy» „
a
All Take druggists LaxfetiVe refund BrOtuo jt.he money Quinine jf it Tai?|ets. fails to
cure. B. W. iGrove T s signature is 911 leach
box. 25 c. i,i. 1 I
.•
11 His Little Jotted < 1
“Look, out, iiipiter below there, ipy rain
dear!” called Pluvius to foxy
April as h 0 ‘pulled down the "shower
valve. 1 • 11 I I i
And even the seyrers laughed sh hand
that they all choked up.—Cleveland
Plain Dealer. t v 11 ! • r. A . r> \
. ..} 1 . t T ) r, I () j u - ( *•
“KwinwB, M “Keenetn,” Etc, .
Towne—Silbbubs tells me he has a
Queen Anne cottage in Aiguhurst. * ( T *
Browne—Oh, that’s the way he pro¬
nounces it now; eh? ■ • f •
Towne—Pronounces what? I 0,1
?
Browne — Quinine. — Philadelphia
Press. i f i
ou Know What You are Taking
When you t&ke Grove’s Tasteless Chill
Tonic because the formula is plainly print¬
ed on ®v*ry bottle showingtbat it is'sinjply
X on and Quinine in a tasteless form. No
re, No Pay. 50 c. ■ ■
They Compromised.
A very, very fat man was- he, and
when he entered the "Chestnut Hill ac¬
commodation Sunday night he looked
around for a whole seat to himself.
The car was nearly filled, and the best
he could do vras to share a seat with
another passenger. A hasty inventory
decided him in favor of a very thin
young woman, and even then it was
a rather tight squeeze. The young
woman in trying to make room for
him dropped her handkerchief, which
lauded on the floor directly between
the man’s feet.
He was a man of such Falstaffiau
girth as to be totally oblivious of any¬
thing beyond the rangy ^<if bi$ ^vision,
and he could scarcely sfee over hi s own
chin. The young woman was wedged
In so tightly tbaGshq betild hardly
move.
“Pardon me,” she said. “I haye
dropped my handkerrhlef.’? - *?
“Where is it?” asked the fat man.
“On the floor, between your feet,”
answered the thin young woman.
The fat man made an effort tb look
in the direction indicated, but although
he grew very red in the face from the
effort he couldn’t see beyond his waist¬
coat buttons. Finally he said:
« “I get off at Tioga. Do you go far¬
ther than that?”
“Yes. I go to Wayne Junction,” she
said. “I guess 1 can get along without
It for awhile.”
“Thank you.” said the fat man, great¬
ly relieved.
The young woman recovered her
property at Tioga, where the fat man
Your Hair
•fTSCifl
“Two years sgo my hair was
failing out badly, i trehasid a
bottle of Ayer’s Ha: V r 014.and
soon my hair stopped * usni ng ®ut. > i
Miss Minnrg \ \ P *I : £ 111 .
t. i —tr .
Perhnr- ; .-Ahcr
had thin h;v V it k % ’
no reasoa -: 7 • • ■ i nViist
go throe . . v*: HiL Lidf-
starved ke i ii want
long, thick i > 1 JUT * it
with Ayef's : ret Vigor,
and mak-i i z ; i w :h,
and heavy.
$\M a futile. AU drurrlsta.
send‘us If your uriiggist tioiiav and cannot will supply you,
one sure-antbgrvfe v.e express
you a bottle, be fbe name
of four nearest express < face. Address,
J. C. Ax Eli CO., l.o well, Mass,
extricated himself from the seat.—Phil¬
adelphia Record.
Her Gentle Raillery,
It so happened that the faint heart-
ed suitor accidentally sat down on a
pin.
“Ah,” cried the maiden; “that’s once
you. were able to get to the point, any¬
way!”
Being thus encouraged, he hastened
to make the customary avowal.—Chi¬
cago Post: i
An Explanation,
“See here!” exclaimed an angry man
i to a horse dealer. “You said thdt horse
I bought of you yesterday hadn’t a sin¬
gle fault. and now I find he is'blind in
one eye.” - •' ■ . ■
“Ob,” replied., the. dealer ,* calmly,
“that’s not a fault; it’s a misfortune.”
—Chicago Nefe ‘ 1 • ; •
A Hard One. i
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The Child-Mother, dear, where is
the wind when it isn’t blowing? !
1 A Hap^y Ride.
Jawsop—How did your automobile
journey turn out?
Dawson --^Beautifully. Although 1
ran over two pedestrians and three bi¬
cycles and knocked two wagons into a
ditch, my motor was not at all injured,
and I arrived just on time.—Tit-Bits.
The Best Prescription for malaria.
Tatselkss Chills, And Fever is a bottle of Ghovk’s
Chill Tonic. H is simply iron
and quinine in a tasteless form. No cure,
no pay. Price 50 c. -
Aq Offensive Word.
“What’s the matter with your part¬
ner? I tried to talk to him about the
margins of the book 1 want printed,
and be hastily left me.”
“Oh. be was caught in the big stock
slump, and he’s a little nervous.”—
Clevelaud Plain Dealer.
Ippetrievaniy Lost.
“Miss Goldrox,” began Mr. Cal Q.
Laite, “I must confess that at last I
have lost my heart, and you”—
VMy! That’s too bad!” she inter-
rupted. “It’s so small you can never
hope to fiud it ugain.”’—Catholic
Standard and Times.
. -
Cocidn’t sleep.
O’Lafferty-Mulligan hez resoigned
frurn the perleece foorce.
O’ H 00 1 i 1 m n — P h wy V
O’Lafferty—The little b’ys wadn’t let
Mm slape on dooty at all. at all. which
wer razin entiff. begob. —Ohio State
This signature is on every box of the genuine
Laxative Bromo-Quinine Tablets
the remedy that core# • eeW OB ® day
m m TRIP TO.THE MOON
Em? rtttr H-
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N u ni *fcTwit Ifui i f
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i fim* m r>-S £*JEI?Ick A 1
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i f* zr< rs "1? ia&mr* &
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csnxtm :v- 1 wrw;.?
wwmrti •F= .■ OTWvwv^v^wv'kj
. . m ONTHE AIRSHi |Kf.> I ''nP?
■li I -.1 Ulm IWtTA ^n y> f m! /n c. 1 d I £ Sffr * HW £ll k~ t‘ X ' : V* # %«. i, A\
T"
HANDING mm
DOCK ON THE EARTH OF THL ARIEL NAVIGATION CO.
This may. sound like a misquito
dream*, as the saying goes, the idea
of taking a trip to the moon. And,
indeed, as far as the moon being
an objective point that much of it
is a dream,as yet ; nevertheless this
picture illustrates the building now
seen at the Pan-American exposi¬
tion at Buffalo, where the pro
Rioters qf ..the . Ariel Navigation
company are ^showing, their air
ships in a, very serious mannier.
Ariel navigation is about [realiz¬
ed. There are half a dozen models
. existence -i : * « • ‘ which. " i J , ‘ proving
in are suc-
cessful, among them beinof ,.the
model owned by the Ariel N
• '
•‘Land of the Sky” Conveniently
i ♦ Reached.
Beginning-Junef 8th, ' Southerb
Railway \yill inaugurate sit eping
car line from Montgomery, A la. ,to
Asheville, N. iC,». in Conn action
\yith. the Western.i ,Ry,. ,pf v Ala.,
and A. j& W. P. R. R., leaving
Montgomery 6 :40 p. m., Atlanta
II :5o p. m., arriving AWljeviiU-
10 :05 a. in. '*■ I ,
, that It will the be seen .from se,rv;ice, the* jabove the
summer to
. 4 Land of the Sky” is the best: that
has yet been offered.
Summer tourist' tickets are now
on sale to A s ^ e >iff e and Western
North Carolina mountain resort's.
For further information c ill on
ordddress any agent of the South¬
ern Railway or cobnecting Tayilocj, lines*
11 ,, r . W. II..
A* G. A., Atlanta, Ga.
Rusifria, , The illiterate nations are bhieliy
Spain. Turkey and the un¬
progressive nations of the orient and
of South America.
Has the . -•
m f/. .s - C', ^
1
15 & *
<^v ,
Coo m
That is tough, but
✓
\ You (an
DoThe
/
/
yourself , if you will just keep
in a good humor, which you
can do by reading this paper.
tion company, a concern that has
any amount of money behind it,
and which is soon to put on a
schedule of air ships, making the
regular runs between rhe big east¬
ern cities.
It is but a question ot a few
years now before we will be dying
through the air as easily as you
please^ and wondering as we dart
in and out among snow clouds,
freshets yet unborn, and the var-
lOUS sorts of weather lying around
loose in the great Above, why we
were content to be dragged along
over the earth all these years
hind a pesky steam engine.
Four regiments numbering more
than 4,000 volunteer troops were
mustejed out in California last
Sunday Major Gen. \VI. R.
Shafter retired from active duty
and Gen. S. M. B. Young sue-
eeded him in command.
• Wont you kindly pay up yom
subscription for 1900. We
need and must have our money. It
must be paid and now.
Parlor Cars on Day Trains.
Southern train in connection
with the K. C. M. & B. R. R. via
Birmingham, has established on
day trains leaving Atlanta 6.00 a.
m. arriving at Memphis 8 :05 p. m.
and leaving Memphis S:i5 a. m.,
arriving Atlanta 10.15 P* m mag®
nificent observation cafe cars.
These cars are of the latest im¬
proved plan and afford most most
comfortable accomodations and ex
cellent meals, The meals on these
cars will be served on a la carte
plan from an Elaborate bill of fare.
Toe rear portion of the cars form
m observation smoking room, sup-
died with the latest pspers and
>.'• 1:, oicais, which can ne occupied
1 moderate cjst.
This through service i- in uddi-
i i !»U to the Pullman su-epmg cars
jo I Ween At lata ami Memphis
vng Atlant » 4:15 p. m. and
arriving Atlantu at 1 1 -.30 a. m.
W. H. Tayloe,
A. G. P. A.. Atlanta. Ga.
The long coni'inu- d drouglith in
Grt;it Britain lia 1 ' broken up and
violent thunder storms accompjm-
icui hv torreututl rains have vvrougf
much havoc. Many deaths are re -
ported.
$100 Reward, $100
The readers of this paper wjil he pleased
to that there are at least one dreaded dis-
ea.s£ Stages, that science has t»een able to cure in
its nad that is Catarrli. Hall’s Ca¬
tarrh cure is the only positive enre known
to the 1 raturuity. Catarrh being a Constitu¬
tional disease, requires a constitutional
treatment. Hall’s Catarrh Cure is taken
internally, acting directly upon the blood
and mucous surfaces of the system, thereby
destroying the foundation of the disease,
ami giving the constitution the patient [Strength by build¬
ing up and assisting na¬
ture ,in doing its work. The proprietors
have so much faith in its curative powers,
that they otier One Hundred Dollars for
any case that it fails to bu - e. Send for list
of testimonials.
Address F. J. CHENEY,& CO.,Toledo, O.
Sold by Druggists, 75c.
Hall’s Family Pills are the best.
It is likely, however, that the
schedule to the moon will not be
issued for some years yet. Mr.
Tesla, the tamed electrician, is
working [upon a telegraph line to
the moon, and claims to have re-
ceived a message from the inhab¬
itants thereof. It is likely that
they are waiting to see if close con¬
nections can be made on the moon
with the evening air ships to Mars
Dr Saturn. It would not be ad-
visable to run the line to the moon
unless passengers could effect a
close transfer there, as that place
is • a dreary sort of a hole, they say,
an d not suitable for a summer
resort.
Ms Pills
pQ|{ fORPSO LIVERo
A torpid liver deranges the whole
system, and produces
SICK HEADACHE, —
Dyspepsia, Costiveness, Rheu¬
matism, Sallow Skin and Piles.
There is no better remedy for these
common diseases than DR. TUTT’S
Take LIVER PILLS, as a trial will prove.
No Substitute.
There has been some hot weath¬
er the past few days and the most
of the farmers are getting their
crops clean since the sun has com¬
menced to pour down his hot rays
on the growing crops.
Mound City, Kan., 22, 11)00.
• Dear Sir:—I wish to add my endorse¬
ment and recommendation as to the
merits of Dr. Caldwell’s Syrup Pepsin.
I have sold it as a druggist and it al¬
ways gives entire satislaction, and my
customers are loud 111 its; praise. I my¬
self had been troubled with my stom-
a<*h, and hearing so many td my rusto-
mers it speaking of Syrup Pepsin, I tried
with the result that it cured my
trouble. I unhesitatingly recommend
Dr. Caldwell’s Syrup Pepsin as a laxa¬
tive and stomach remedy.
Yours truly,
*J. \N . Hawkins.
Sold by all Druggist’s.
TALLULAH FAILS R. R. CO.,
Time Tabb* No. IT, in Hum 1 Saturday .Tune
1st, 1 < 4 i, m., Eastern Time.
No. 17 li ( Nol N0I8
Monday Daiiv STATIONS. —•— Sat.
ONLY dail> only
.A. M. i P.M. 1!LV \k p. m v. M.
5 ot>; & u<» Tallulah Fall s I 20 9 55
5 05; 5 10 Talbi tab Lodge 1 15 9 50
5 20 .» iu '*■! Turn rn i 1 ie 12 55 9 :t5
5 5 :k;| 40 5 0 H» 45. i j lol iy \v,a»d 12 45 9 25
; I A n;»nd*ale 12 :u» 9 15
5 4f>! li 10 ; 1 Hills 12 20 9 10
li 5 no; lb 0 : to o j ■ Clarkesvi I )eiuorest lie 12 50 15 9 05
aol- ♦» ft 11 H 55
ii It 45 Cornelia 11 55 « 40
t—Flag Station for Trains Marked.
Samhkl C. IiUNiar. Gen. Mg’r.
W S. Erwin, G.F & I*.A
TME MA 3 SEY
Birmingham Ala. Richmond Va. Mont¬
gomery Ala. Houston IVx Jackson¬
ville Fla. Columbus Ga.
Situations secured for g- a«lnates. Catalgue
free.