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PUNCH’S EXAMPLE
By Arthur T. Quiller-Couch
„„ firM « 4 class . smoking , . .
we carriage
was the emptiest in the whole train,
and even this was hot to suffoea-
tion, because my only companion
denied me more than an inch of
open window. His chest, he explain¬
ed curtly, was “susceptible.”
At the other end of the compart¬
ment my fellow' passenger had pull¬
ed down all the blinds and hidden
his face behind The Western Morn¬
ing News. He was a red faced, chol¬
eric little man of about sixty, with
a salient stomach, a prodigious
nose, to which he carried snuff
about once in two minutes, and a
marked deformity of the shoulders.
For comfort and also perhaps to
hide this hump he rested hi3 back
in the angle by the window. He
wore a black alpaca coat, a high
stock, white waistcoat and trousers
of shepherd’s plaid. On no definite
grounds I guessed him to be a law¬
yer and unmarried.
Just before entering the station
at Lostwithiel our train passed be¬
tween the white gates of a level
crossing. A moment before I had
caught sight of the “George” droop¬
ing from the church spire, and at
the crossing I saw it w r as regatta
day in the little town. The road was
full of people and lined with sweet
standings, and by the near end of
the bridge a Punch and Judy show
was just closing a performance.
The orchestra had unloosed his
drum and fallen to mopping the
back of his neck with the red hand¬
kerchief tliat had previously bound
the pan pipes to his chin. A crowd
hung around, and among it I noted
several men and women in black,
hideous blots in the pervading sun¬
shine.
The station platform was throng¬
ed as we drew up, and it was clear
at once that all the carriages in the
train would be besieged without re¬
gard to class. By some chance,
however, we were disregarded, and
escape seemed likely till the very
last moment. The guard’s whistle
was between his lips when I heard
a shout, then one or two feminine
screams, and a party of seven or
eight came tearing out of the book¬
ing office. Every one of them was
dressed in complete black. They
were, in fact, the people I had seen
staring at the Punch and Judy
show.
A moment later the door of our
compartment opened and we were
invaded. They tumbled in over my
legs, panting, laughing, exclaiming,
calling to each other to hurry-—an
old man, two youths, four middle
aged women and a little girl about
four years old. My choleric fellow
passenger leaped up, choking with
wrath, and shouted to the guard.
But the door was slammed on his
indignation, and we moved off. He
sat back, purple above his stock,
rescued his Malacca walking stick
from under the coattails of a sub¬
siding youth, stuck it upright be¬
tween his knees and glared around
at the intruders. They were still
possessed with excitement over their
narrow escape and unconscious of
offense. One of the women drop¬
ped into the corner seat and took
the little girl on her lap. The
child’s dusty boots rubbed against
the old gentleman’s trousers. He
shifted his position, grunted and
took snuff furiously.
“That was nibby jibby,” the old
man of the party observed, while
his eve wandered around for a seat.
“I thought I should ha’ died,”
said a robust woman with a wart
on her cheek and a yard of crape
hanging ’ee find from her bonnet. “Can’t
nowhere to sit, uncle?”
“Beckon I must shift 'pon your
lap, Susannah.” This was said with
a chuckle, and the woman tittered.
“What newfangled game be this o’
the Great Western’s? Arms to the
seats, I declare! We’ll have to sit
intimate, my dears.”
a } Tis first class,” another
woman
announced in an awed whisper. “1
saw it ’pon the door. You don’t
think they’ll fine us.”
** ’Tall comes of our stoppin’ to
glare at that Punch an’ Judy,” the
old fellow went on after I had
shown them how to turn back the
arm rests and they were settled in
something like comfort. “But I
never could refrain from that antic,
though I feels condemned, laid* too, in
a way, an’ poor Thomas in
earth no later than this mornin’.
But in the midst of life we are in
deaths __
' I don't remember a more sue-
cessfui buryin’,” said the woman
wjth the wart.
“That was part luck, you see, it
bein’ regatta day an’ the fun o’ the
fair not properly begun. I saw a
lot at the cemetery I didn’t know
an’ I reckon they was most-
ly excursionists that caught sight of
a funeral an’ followed it to fill up
the time.”
“Well, it all added.”
“Oh, aye; Thomas was beautiful¬
ly interred.”
The heat in the carriage by this
time was hardly more overpower¬
ing than the smell of crape, broad¬
cloth and camphor. The youth who
had wedged himself next to me car¬
ried a large packet of “fairing,”
which he had bought at one of the
sweet stalls. He began to insert it
into his side pocket, and in his
struggles he drove an elbow sharply
into my ribs. I shifted my position
a little.
“Tom’s wife would ha’ felt it a
source o’ pride had she lived.”
But I ceased to listen, for in
moving I had happened to glance
at the far%er end of the carriage,
and there my attention was arrest¬
ed by a curious little piece of pan¬
tomime. The little girl—a dark
eyed, intelligent child, whose pallor
was emphasized by the crape which
smothered her—was looking very
closely at the old gentleman with
the hump, staring at him hard, in
fact. He, on the other hand, was
leaning forward, with both hands
on the knob of his Malacca, his
eyes bent on the floor and his mouth
squared to the surliest expression.
He seemed quite unconscious of her
scrutiny and was tapping one foot
impatiently on the floor.
After a minute I was surprised
to see her lean forward and touch
him gently on the knee.
He took no notice beyond shuf¬
fling about a little and uttering a
slight growl. The woman who held
her put out an arm and drew back
the child’s hand reprovingly. The
child paid no heed to this, but con¬
tinued to stare. Then in another
two minutes she again bent forward
and tapped the old gentleman’s
knee. This time she fetched a loud¬
er growd from him and an irascible
glare. Not in the least daunted,
she took hold of his cane and shook
it to and fro in her small hand.
“I wish to heavens, madam, you
would keep your child to yourself!”
“For shame, Annie!” whispered
the poor woman, cowed by his look.
But again Annie paid no heed.
Indeed she pushed the Malacca to¬
ward the old gentleman, saying:
“Please, sir, will ’ee warm Mr.
Barrabel wi’ this?”
He moved uneasily and looked
harshly at her without answering.
“For shame, Annie!” the woman
murmured a second time. But I
saw her lean back, and a tear start¬
ed and rolled down her cheek.
“If you please, sir,” repeated An¬
nie, “will ’ee warm Mr. Barrabel wi’
this?”
The old gentleman stared at her.
In his eyes you could read the ques¬
tion, “What in the devil’s name does
the child mean?” The robust wo¬
man read it there and answered
him huskily: “Poor mite! She’s
buried her father this mornin’, an’
Mr. Barrable is the coffin maker
an’ nailed ’im down.”
“Notf,” said Annie, this time ea¬
gerly, “will ’ee warm him same as
the big doll did just now?”
Luckily the old gentleman did
not understand this last allusion.
He had not seen the group around
the Punch and Judy show, nor if he
had is it likely he would have guess¬
ed the train of thought in the
child’s mind. But to me as I look-
ed at my fellow passenger’s nose
and the deformity of his shoulders
and remembered how Punch treats
the undertaker it was plain enough.
I glanced at the child’s companions.
There was nothing in their faces to
show that they took the allusion.
And the next minute I was glad to
think that I alone knew what had
prompted Annie’s speech.
For as I looked, with a beautiful
change on his face, the old gentle¬
man had taken the child on his
knee and was talking to her as I
dare say he had never talked before.
“Are you her mother?” he asked,
looking "up suddenly and addressing
the woman opposite, been dead these
“Her mother’s
tw0 }' ear - I' m * ier aun L an> I m
fakin' her home to rear ’long wi’
own childer.”
He was bending over Annie and
had resumed his chat. It was all
nonsense—something about the sil-
ver knob of his Malacca—but it
took hold of the child’s fancy and
comforted her. At the next sta
tion 1 had to alight, for it was the
end ox my 'journey. But, looking
back into the carriage as I shut the
door, 1 saw Annie bending forward
over the the walking stick and follow-
ing pattern of its silver work
with her small finger. Her face
was turned from the old gentle-
man’s, and behind her little black
hat his eves w r ere glistening
A Simple Marriage Ceremony.
In Hindustan the marriage cere¬
mony is short and simple, and no
courting precedes it. The arrange-
ments are made by the friends or
relatives of the principals. When
the bride and groom are brought
together, in many cases they see
each other for the first time. The
bride playfully skips toward him
and seats herself beside him. The
priest ties a corner of the bride’s
veil to the groom’s hhawl, and they
are man and wife.
Stop the Ceug;h and Work off the
cold.
Laxative Brorao Quinine Tablets cure a
is gold in one dav. >' Cure, JSo Pay. Price
oentH.
THE THERMOMETER.
Its Statements of Opinion and It 9
Statements of Fact.
On the ordinary thermometer
may be read opposite the figures
two statements of opinion and two
of fact. The former are of little
importance. Whether seventy-six is
“summer heat” and a few degrees
lower “temperate” depends largely
on locality. But the two fixed facts
that water freezes at 32 degrees
above zero and that the tempera¬
ture of the body is 98 G-10 exercise
a controlling influence over many of
the affairs of life. And, while the
whole face of the instrument might
be dotted with other interesting
signs, such as the boiling point of
water and other liquids and the
freezing points of various liquids,
these facts concerning blood and
water are the prime essentials.
The freezing point of water is at
the basis of many industrial proc¬
esses. It must be constantly watch¬
ed. When freezing weather is
threatened, the familiar suction
pump is allowed to “run down,” or
the valves in unprotected water
pipes are closed. In house building
the mason goes below the point to
which frost ever penetrates to get
a good foundation. Most pipes also
have to be laid below the frost line.
Above it winter is continually dis¬
integrating the earth as with mil¬
lions of little charges of dynamite.
Water, because it expands in freez¬
ing, tends to break up everything
into the crevices of which it pene¬
trates. “Below the frost line” has
thus become in literature a recog¬
nized figure for security of founda¬
tions.
When called to see a patient, the
physician at once takes out his clin¬
ical thermometer. Placed under the
sick man’s tongue, it registers the
bodily temperature. This nature
maintains through the perspiration
at such a delicate balance that the
variation of a degree is significant.
Successive changes in the tempera¬
ture of the body reveal much as to
the course of a malady.—Youth’s
Companion.
Flowers as Food.
The flower buds of the marsh
marigold, Caltlia palustris, are said
to make excellent pickles. The
common clove is a dried flower bud,
and it becomes an ingredient of va¬
rious articles of food. But the most
remarkable of all food flowers is
that produced by the mahua tree
of India, whose fleshy blossoms
form a staple article of food among
the poor. The people of the hill
tribes could hardly exist without a
regular supply of mahua flowers,
which are pulpv and sweet, but
somewhat nauseous to the unae- j
customed palate. The surplus crop
of these blossoms is to some extent
dried, but the main part of the un¬
eaten supply is put into a rude still,
which gives out a copious supply of i
an exceedingly fierv and irritating I
arrack, so strong that it has to be j
diluted with ten or twelve parts of
water before it is considered a safe
article of beverage.
How Fishes Multiply.
Piscatory authorities of the high¬
est standard tell us that were it not
for nature’s grand “evening up”
provisions the fishes of the seas
would multiply so rapidly that with-
in three short years they would fill
the waters to such an extent that
there would be no room for them to
swim. This will hardly be disputed
when it is known that a single fe-
male cod will lay 45,000,000 eggs in
a single season.
-TT A k
»ii. LAHOltlAl AMD INQ1AN TES K
11 I N
Areb^streac > by\the Cotton Belt, mphis ich Texas', line.
runs two trains \day\fra Mi to
without change. Ns Thc^ rails eimer reach*
director make close connection
for al|» parts of Texas, Oklahoma AshlhMan
and l pdianTerritory. \
FT. WORTF^h : II
•TAMfOMO YLl. HHCVfPOHT
PASO
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IAKA
oatesville® !?LUFXin\
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UN M«UO>
--.4
SAM ANTONIO.
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raised write and where peW le prosper,
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condition. • •
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SOUTHERN
RAILWAY *i * >
THE GREAT HIGHIVAY
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Uniting the Principal Commercial
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NORTH, EAST and WEST.
HL|^h*CUM V wMhala Trains, Through Sleepin«.C»rs
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tinciiuaaii d VWrida Points via Atlanta and via
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Hew York d WoriAa, either via Lrnohburg, Danville
and tavaasahf or Via Richmond, Danville and
Savannah.
Superior Dinlng«Oar Service on alt Through Trains.
Kneel lent Serv h>e and Lew Rates to Charleston ao«*
count loath Carolina Inter-State and West Indian
Exposition.
Winter Tourist Tickets to all Resorts now en sale at
reduced rates.
For drtetferf Inform ni ie n , (N erasure, tint* tables, rates, etc..
apply to netsres* daMbajOnt, er asUfross
S. H. HARDWICK, W. M. TAYLOE,
General Poeei recent, jSjrrt. Gen. Fas#. Jbgent,
WashCngtmn, i, •. Jrtlantn, Ga.
R. W. HUNT, J. C. BEAM,
Die. Passenger Agani, District Pass. Jtgent,
Charleston, J. C, Jttlcnta, Ga.
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The Twelfth Juryman.
An anecdote of the legal frater-
nity is to the effect that when trv-
ing a case at York Mr. Justice Gould
noticed after two hours had gone by
there were only eleven jurora in the
box.
“Where is the twelfth ?” he asked.
“Please you. my lord.” said one
of the eleven, “he is gone home on
some business, but he has left his
verdict with me.” — London Tit-
Bits.
For
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V-
/ Bird
When the Cat Was 8acred.
In the middle ages brute animals
formed as prominent a part in the
devotional ceremonies of the time as
they had in the religion of Egypt.
The cat (adurus) wa3 embalmed aft¬
er death and buried in the city of
Bu bast is, because, according to He¬
rodotus, Diana Bubastia, the chief
deity of the piae. was said to have
transformed herself into a cat when
the gods fled to Egypt.