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Thrilling Baihvad idvciitnrr.
At thrilling adventure occurred on the
passinger truin bound Welt on the valley
road flfbw days ago. The train had Jus*t
passed Jja-gro when tlve attention of the
fire nan was directed to a dark object on
the front platform of the mail car. It Jat
••nee flashed across his mind that it might
he some one Contemplating the robbery of
'the mail or express, and taking np a billet
6f wood, he approached cautiously, and
wi»en within a few feet of of the rear end
«( the tender was blinded by the dis
charge of a pistol, evidently aimed at his
head. Fortunately the bail missed him.
The engineer, Mr, Titu» M. Ingrain at once
reversed the engine, but the man without
attempting to fire again,-jumped from the
tvain, striking on his head. For a moment
he lay motionless, as though dead, but re
entering, he took to his heels. The engin
eer and fireman, armed with a billet of wood
and a hammer, jumped off as soon as the
train baited, and running back, captured the
ft-How. He was badly cut about the head
and face from the fall, and seemed under
the ifflueneo cf liquor. He could give no
account of himself, and attempted no expla
atTonofhis murderous conduct. The pas-n
■sogers on the train rushed out and were
m mf much excited. Several had drawn
their revolver*, and flietc was some talk of
lynching the fellow on the spot. One gen-
Jctnan who travels a great deal In the
Weat remarked that since the Reno express
Tobbory at Seymour he had carried a
revolver and au Arkanses took pick for just
inch emergencies. He was anxious than
oilier wise to dissect the fellow, but better
coynsel prevailed, and Jie was taken aboard
the train and confined in the mail car until
they arrived at Wabash, where he was
turned over to the authorities. The fellow
was evidently insane and made several
attempts to jump off the train before reach*
yig Wabash. We may remark in this
CounectioD that no man in his right tnirid
ever attemped to get off a train while in
tnotion—never. He was held until next
day, and then discharged, but on receipt
of a dispatch from Superintendent Collins, of
this pity, ho was re-arrested and will be
held for trial.
li fomtg Woman Rurled Alive—Her
Motlier BreoitU !) allaniac.
• Pittsburg, Feb. 35.—The Republic Has the
foWowinp: Several vearß since a beautiful
young lady, hardly eighteen years of age,
resided in the vicinity of Alleghany,
became suddenly sick, and although her
patents, who idolized her, summoned the
most skillful physicians, the disease increas
ed in virulence for some days, and apparent
Jy terminated fatally.
Her death was a heavy blow loher hiother
who loved Her fondly, and, afterwaiting the
time prescribed by custom, the body
was introduced in one of the cemeteries
adjoining onr sister city, A fe ; w ago
the lady’s father died, when she expressed
a desite to have hie body interred with the
remains of‘her daughter.
The request was so natural that no objec
tions were made to it. The grave of the
departed fair one was opened, and upon the
body being exhumed, it was discovered,
with horror, that tlie body had beeu turned
in the Coffin. An investigation proved too
conclusively that the poor young lady had
been buried alive.
Her clothing about the body had been
torn into shreds, and her hair pulled from
her head by haiidsful. She bad undoubtedly
tocovered consciousness while entombed,
and afterwards died of suffocation. The
mother, whev viewing the corpse, was seiz
ed with hysterics, and a few days since was
oouveyed to the Dixment Insane Asylum, a
raving maniac.
A Fighting Parson—A Challenge Declin
ed —According lo the Evening Express of
"Washington city, parson Slumnan, who
was hissed on Sunday evening while preach
ing at the National Theatre because he
pitched into President Johnson for pardon
ing the stationer Dempsey, wlho row hided a
Patent Qffioe clerk a week ago, has taken
the offensive attitude. The Express says:
•‘On Monday Mr Dempsey was waited upon
by a gentleman acting as tin* friend of Rev.
Mr. Sharrnan, who eouveyed a message to
the foliowing effect: “It Mr. Dempsey,
will bring his cowhide up to the rooms of
Mr. Sharman, No. Franklin square, he will
sod Mr. Sharman at home, and Mr. Sharman
will in no event prosecute him for assault. r
Astounded at the strangen ; *ss of the message*,
Mr Dempsey was some time in making is
•«t «s a challenge to combat, if Dempsey
Hfetb so disposed’. Making inquiry to as
certain if his correspondent was a wag or a
hMUttic, Me. Dempsey, ascertained that the
Rev. Mr. Sharnuin was an eX'Capt&mnf the
English army', rigorous in the legs, ditto in
the arms* handy with the small sword and
lively with the trigger. Ascertaining tlus«
preponderating circumstances on the side
t»f the Church militant, Mr. Dempsey diclii
td to engage iu combat with Mr. Sharman,
and at the latest accounts the Church mili—
taot was also the Church triumphant.
“Will you give me that rmg?? said a
*il!ige dandy,“lo a lady, -‘tor it resembles
nay love for you: it has no end.”
“Eactiee, me, *Mr, ’ was the reply. “I
chooae to keep tt as heftig emblematical of
mine, it has .no begining.”
V
Punch 6ays that women first resorted to
light lacing to prove to the men how well
’they could bear tight squeezing*
Thf. Editor— A Schoolboy’s Composition.
—Tirf*editor is one of the happiest animals
in ihp kqown world He can go to the eir
vus afternoon ami evening, without paying
a cenTf also to inquests and hangings. He
has free.tickets to pic-nics and strawberry
festivals, gets wedding cake sent to him,
and scrutinies gets a licking, but not often,
for lie can take back in thejnext : ssuo, which
he generally does. I never knew only one
editor to‘get licked. His paper busted that
day, and he couldn’t take nothing back.
While other folks have got to go to bed
early the editor can sit up late every night,
at H sit all that i» going on. The boys think
it a big thing to hang out till ten o’clock.
When I am a man I mean to be an editor so
I can stayout at nights. Then that will le
bully. The editor.don’t have to saw wood,
or to do any chopping, exo< pt with the scis
sors. Railroads get up excursions for him,
knowing if they didn’t he’d make tnem get
up and git. In politics he don’t care much
whom he goes for if they are on his side. If
they ain’t be goes for Vm any way, «<> it
amounts to neatly the Rame thing. There
are a great many people trying to be editors
who can’t, and some of them hare been
in the profession for years. They can’t
see it though. If I was asked if I had
rather have an or be a circus
tider, I Would say let rnego and be an edi
tor.
Shrewd Method of Evading thx Tariff
Laws.— One of the shrewdest dodges yet
invented for evading the payment of duty
on imported goods has just been reported
to the Treasury. A Boston hotel keeper,
wi&Mufr furnish his hotel with the very
bust of furniture at the cheapest posible
cost, went to Paris, a short time since, rented
a house, bought about $60,C00 worth of
furniture and took it into the house. A
portion ot the furniture, such as bedding,
towels, carpets, &c., were made up in the
house by workmen employed for the pur
pose, Aa officer of the customs in New
York city, who happened to he in Paris at
that time, was invited by the hotel proprie
tor to become his guest, to which he consen
ted, thereby saving all expenses of board,
lodging, «&c. In a few days after the Cus
tom House officer left; the furniture was
shipped to New York, and, it is alleged,
was admitted free of duty on the proper
evidence having been admitted showing
that the goods were personal effects which
had been in use before shipment. Once
landed in New York, the furniture was
forthwith carried to Boston, and the enter
prising Yankee has achieved a success.
Food for Smiles.
A ci’usty old bachelor says he thinks it is
woman, and not her wrongs, that ought to
be redressed.
A sdilar eclipse reminds us of Jack’s last
thrashing by his father— it is a hiding of
the son (sun.)
What Miss will ruin any* man ? Misman
agement.
When is wine like a pig’s tooth ? When
’lis in a hogs'-head.
The Skeleton fn every Married Man’s
House. His wife’s skirt.
A man’s bat has but one nap on it: his
bed has anew one every night.
He who asks no questions is queei, but
he who asks many questions is the querist.
Cam you spell brandy with three letters
jn English or French? B. R. and Y.; O,
D. V.
‘T Relieve the jury has been inoculated
with stupidity.” said Briefless. “That may
be,” said his: opponent, “but like bar are of
opinion that yon had it in the natural way. ’
Boasting of a visit he had paid to the
Queen at Windsor A Yankee clinched his
remarks oTdeclaring, “I should have been
invited to dinner, but it was washing day.*,
“There isuo pluce like home,” said a brain
less fop-the other evening to a pretty young
lady, ,'Oh, Yes,” was the reply. “Tb* j n,*
said she, “why don’t you stay there ?”
Ex« roififer * Who was the strongest
man T Smart Boy “Jonah.,’ ‘‘Why so?’
“Cause the whale couldn’t bold him after he
got him down.”
A wag seeing a lady at a party with a
very Tow-necked dress and bare arms.ex
pressvcHiis admiration by say she outstrip
ped the whole party.
“Madam, a good many persons were dis*
»m bed at the concert the other uight by the
crying of yi>ur'baby.” “Well, I w<iuder
>uch people wilt go to concerts.”
A fellow charged in an indictment with
stealing a hoe, was discharged upon tvia 1 ,
it being proved that the article taken was
an ax. The matter was a regular bo-ax.
Conundrums and Puns.—Who should a
gouty man make his will? To have his
legatees (leg at ease.)
A Sporting Conundrum.—Why is a bad
shot like an amusing fellow ? Because he is
the boy to keep the game alive.
Mrs. Partington says there must be some
kin between poets and pullets, for they are
both chanting their lays.
*gWhy does a coal barge weigh less than
an empty sack? Because if the one is a
light weigh! the other Is a lighter.
A writer on ornithology inquires what
kind of eagles fly highest! We don’t knowj
put unquestionably golden eagles generally
fly fastest
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.II ■ LWA VS FIX »
C m MORRIS, JR.,
-jliif 1 7 CaldwbiA&'Moerip,
PATTON FAC TCR
General Commission
MEM E2 mCJaSAWTr,*
20 OLD SLIP,
Ben,t. C. Morris, Jr., General Partners.
Frantz B. Muleer, ) c *. ,V'Y
Wm. Harman Brown, j bpepial Paitneiß.
NEW YORK.
Harving formfed a limited partnership under the
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<t»i rinW cdh firming, with increased facilities. the
hnsint „eretofore conducted hy the late firm of
Caldwell & Mort is, at the same • office No. 20 OLD
SLIP. B. C. MORRIS, Jr.
.New Yoßg, August 4,1868. ,Sept.-2-16»6m.
Hoop Skirts,
LADIES and the latest style, just re
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R EMOVAL?
BOOT AND SHOE lAIIMI
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He is confident he can turn kss6k
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can be made, or will be
brought to this market 1 , and '0?
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THE OFFICIAL HISTORY
0 I TH E WA R,
Its Causes, Character, Conduct and Resnlts.
By HOW. ALEXANDER S. STJBPILEN
A Book for all Sections and all Battiest
'PHIS great work presents the only complete u
I impartial analysis of of the War ye
published, and gives those interior light# And'shad
ows ol the great conflict only known toAkosekigl
officers who watched the fioad-jtide of revolutk
trom its fountain springs, and which were so accei|
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To apublife that has been surfeited with /ppafß'J
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War has at last found a historian woi Mivofii
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