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eekty Democrat.
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Bainbridge Democrat.
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BY BEN. E. RUSSELL.
BAINBRIDGE, GA, THURSDAY, JUNE 8, 1882.
} YOL. 11.—NO. 34.
busing rates and rules.
. e , s inserted at $2 per square
sertion, sad $1 for each subse-
' eiebt solid lines of this type,
nns ma le with contract adrerti-
otices of eight lines are *15 per
r #>0 per annum. Local notices
n three months are subject to
^advertisers who desire their ad-
.changed, must give us two
^advertisements, unless Other-
Rated in contract, will be changed
ts per square. -
,, ,n l obituary notices, tributesof
nd other kindred notices, charged
drertisenunts.
isements most take the run or the
do not contract to keep them
rticular place.
■cements for candidates are $10, if
ne insertion.
c d«e upon the appearance of the
merit, and the money will be col-
needed by the proprietoi, *
11 adhere strictly to the aboverules,
depart from them under no circum-
T ESS <{• PROFESSIONAL.
mTharrell,
0 r n e y At Law
Bainbridok, Georgia,
jo found at McGill # office. ^ll
entrusted to his care will receive
attention. Collections a specialty.
1882—6m. • -
medicalcarb. -.
M . J. N i c h h I s * o n ,
emoved to Twillglj*. Myif^coun
A BASHFUL, nA.Tti DI-
LEnnA.
Rnsblag
Bridewi
Into a Roomful of
inlds Bereft of His
Breeches.
rgm.
Office
J. S.
MEDOL^W
tfJb’s
{eb.9,’82.
E. J . dorian
removed his office to the drug store,
y occupied by Dr, Harrell. Resi
n West street, south of Shotwell,
calls at night will reach him.
CHARLES C. BUSH,
torn ey at Law
COLQUITT, GA.
pt attention given to all business cn-
i me,
dentistry:
Curry, D.D. S
be fouud daily at his office on South
street, up stairs, in E. Johnson’s
g, where he is ready to attend to the
of the public at reasonable rates.
dec-5-78
M. O’NEAI.
McGILL & O’NEAL,
orneys at Law
BAINBRIDGE, GA.
• office will be found over the post of*
, PONALSON, BYRON B. BOWER
BOWER & D0NALS0N.
neys and Counsellers at Law
i in the court house. Will practice
-atur and adjoining counties, and
i by special contract. a-26 7
CT O R M. L. B ATT L E
Dentist.
over Hinds Store, West side
house. Has fine dental engine, and
sve everything to make his office
'lass. Terms cash. Office hours 9
to 4 p. m. J*n. I3tf
JEFF D. TALBERTT
torney at Law,
Bainbridge. Georgia,
ill practice in all the court s, and busi-
intrusted to his carq will be promptly
Jed to. Office over store of M. E.
ett <fc Son. feb.23,'82.
DR. L. H. PEACOCK,
‘t fully tenders his professional serv-
the people of Bainbridge and vicini-
flice over store of J. D. Harrell & Bro
dence on West eud of Broughton
;t. where he can be found at nigbt.
6.1881—
RG1A. Miller ‘‘loanty :
I whom it may concern : T. F. Jones
ng made application to have the Clerk
perior Court of said county appointed
inisfrator of the estate of A. J. Miller,
is therefore to cite all persons concern-
i show cause if any they can within ihe
allowed by law, why said application
d not be granted. This April 19,1882,
WM. GRIMES,
Ordinary.
MACON
imm era
■ special instruction in bookkeeping,
anship, business arithmetic, corres-
ence, bill heading, telegraphy aud
’nil business routine.
HcKAY, - - PRNICIPAL.
°r terms, information'as to boardiDg
a l i ply to the principal. P. O. box
Maeon, Georgia.
TKWILECKir
-AT THE OLD-
arfteld Store.
-A NEW SUPPLY OF-
ceries and Grain,
Hardware & Wagon
erial, Paints,
Oil and Putty,
Agent for Sashes and Blinds.
Nashville Bannner.
Seuator Sebastian, of Arkansas, was
a native of Hickman county, Tennessee.
On one occasion a member of Con
gress was lamenting his bashfulness aud
awkwardness. ‘Why/ said the Senator
from Rackentack, ‘you don’t know
what bashfulness is. Let me tell you
a story, and when I am through I will
stand the bob if you don’t agree that
you never knew anything about bash-
fulness and its baneful effeects. I was
the most bashful boy west of the Alle-
jhanies; I wouldn’t look at a girl,
much Less speak to a maiden, but for
all that, I fell deply in love with a
sweet, beautiful neighbor girl. It was
a'desirable match on both sides, and
the old folks saw the drift and fixed it
up. I thought I shoud die just think
ing of it. 1 was a gawky,- awkred
country lout, about nineteen years old.
She was an intelligent, refined and
fairly well educated girl in a country
ay«(1kt ff^timp when the* girls had su
perior advantages, and were therefore
'superior in cplture to the boys. I fixed
the day as far off as I could have it
p8t'off. v I‘lay'ai*ake in a cold per
spiration as the time drew near and
shivered i^ith agony as I thought of
the terrible ordeal.
The dreadful day came; 1 went
through with the programme somehow
in a dazed confused, mechanical sort of
way. The guests one by one departed,
and my hair began to stand on end.
Beyond the awful curtain of Isis lay
the terrible unknown. My blood grew
cold and boiled by turns. I was in a
fever and then an ague, pale and flush
ed by turns- I felt like fleeing to the
woods, spending the night in the
barn, leaving for the west never to re
turn. I was deeply devoted to Sallie.
I loved her harder than a mule can
kick, but that dreadful ordeal I could
not, I dared not stand it. Fiually the
last guest was gone, the bride retired,
the family gone to bed, and I was left
alone, horror of horrors, alone with the
old man. ‘John,’ 6aid he, ‘you can
take that candle, you will find your
room just over this. Good-night
John, and may the Lord have mercy
on your soul,’ and with a mischievous
twinkle of his fine grey eye the old man
left the room. I mentally said ‘Amen
to his ‘Heaven htlp yon,’ *Dd, when ]
heard him close a distant door, stag
gered to my feet and seized the farth
ing dip with a nervous grasp. I stood
for Rome minutes contemplating my
terrible fate, and the inevitable and
speedv doom about to overwhelm me
l knew it could not be avoided, and
yet I hesitated to meet my fate like a
man. I stood so loDg that three love
letters had grown on the tallow dip aod
a winding sheet was decorating the side
of the brass candle stick.
A happy thought struck me. I basti
ly climbed the stair, marked the posi
lion of the landing and the door of the
bridal chamber. I would have died
before I would have disrobed in that
holy chamber where waited me a
trembling and beautiful girl, a blush*
ing maiden, ‘clothed upon’ with ber
own beauty and modesty, and her snowy
robe de nuil. I would make the usual
preparations without, blow out the
light, open the door and friendly night
would shield my shrinking modesty
and bashfulness, and grateful darkness
at least mitigate ihe horror of the situa
tion. It was soon done, preparations
for retiring were few and simple in
their character in Hickman, altogether
consisting of disrobing, and owing to
scarcity of cloth in these days a naan
was somewhere near the Adamic state
wben prepared to woo sweet sleep. The
dreadful hour had come ; I was ready.
I blew out the light, grasped the door
knob with a deathly grip and nervous
clutch; one moment and it would be
over. One moment and it wasn’t over
by a d—n sight. I leaped within, and
there around a glowing hickory fire,
with candles brightly burning on the
mantle and bureau was the blushing
bride surrounded by the six lovely
bridesmaids.
What word in the English language pos
sesses the greatest number of one parti
cular latter? Possesses.
A Model Marriage Letter.
Tie following letter was written years
ago by a lady of great literary distinct
ion, to her cousin of New York, on the
eve of his marriage, and accompanied
by a pair of bine mixed stockings knit
by herself as a present .*—
Dear Cousin :—Herewith yon will re
receive a present of pair of woolen stock-
ing->, knit by my own hands, and* be
assured that my friendship for yon is
as war mas the material, active as the
finger work, and generous as the dona
tion. But I consider this present as pecu
liarly apprepriate on the occasion of yonr
marriage. You will remark in the
first place that there are two individuals
united in a pair, who are to walk side
by side, guard against coldness, and
giving comfort as long as they last.
The thread of their texture is mixed
and so also! is the thread of life.
In these, however, the white predcmi-
nates, expressing by desire and confi
dence that thus it will be with the
color of your existeutence. No black is
used, for I believe your lives will be
wholly free from the black passions of
wrath and jealousy.
The darkest color here is bine, which
is excellent where we do not make it
too blue. Other appropriate thoughts
rise to my mind in regarding these
stockings. The most indifferent sub
jects when viewed by the mind in asuit*
able frame, may furnish instructive in
ferences ; as saith the poet:
“The iron does, the fuel and tongs,
The bellows that have leathern lungs,
The firewood, ashes and the smoke,
Do all to righteousness provoke.”
But to the subject. You will per
ceive the tops of these stockings (by
which I suppose courtship to be repre
sented) are seamed, and by means of
seeming are drawn into a snarl; but
afterwards comes a time when the whole
is made plain, and continues so to the
end and final toeing off. By this I
wish to take occasion to congratulate
you that you are now through with
seeming and have come to the plain re
ality.
Again, as the whole of these comely
stockings was not made at once, but by
the addition of one little stitch after
another, put in with skill and discre
tion, until the whole presents the fair,
equal pieces of work which you see, so
life does not consist of one great action,
but millions of little ones combined ;
and so may it be with you—no stitch
dropped when duties are to be perform-
nied; no widening made when bad
principles are to bo reproved
or ceremony td be preserved—neither
seaming or narowing, where truth and
generosity are in question. Thus every
stitch made right and set in the right
place, none either too large or too small,
too tight or too loose ; thus may your
smooth and even coarse, making exLt*
enc» fair and consistent piece, until to
gether, having passed the heel, you
come to the toe of life, and here in the
final narrowing off and dropping the
stitch of this emblematic pair of com
panions, and comforting associates,
nothing appears bat white, the token of
innocence, purity, peace uDd light.
May you, like these stockings, (the
final stitch bciDg dropped, and the work
being completed), go together from the
place where yon were framed to a
happier state of existence, a present from
earth to Heaven.
Hoping that these stockings and ad-
monitious may meet a cordial reception,
I remain in the trae-blue friendship,
seemingly, yet without seeming.
Yours, From Tip to Toe.
The Cat Oat of Ihe Wallet.
Jeff long, in his opening address to
the colored political canenss at Macoo,
let the cat out of the wallet, so far as
the real object of the convention and
the expectations of the Georgia
Independents are concerned when he
gave utterance to the following, which
we extract from his speech as published
in the Telegraph :
l ‘A question prominent before ns on
this occasion will be toe consideration
of the claims of prospective independ
ents to onr favor and suffrages. We
will be advised that the independent
movement now being organized differs
materially from anything heretofore
existing under that name; that its
claims to our carefol consideration rest
mainly upon the favor it has receiv
ed at the hands of no less a personage
than cur worthy pres dent, and that its
principal aim ii to disenthrall the
voters of this Stats and the South gen
erally.”
Letter From Miller Coaaty.
Colquitt, Ga., May 30,1882.
Editor Democrat :—Miller aud Deca
tur lying contiguous, their interests are
almost identical. Yonr city, Bainbridge,
is the principal market for the sale of our
cotton and other produce, and from whence
our farmers get most of their supplies. The
Dkmockat, published in our district, is the
chief exponent of the principles of govern
ment ad coca ted by our j*eople since the war.
Hence I infer that a short letter from this
section, weekly, giving the local news, crop
prospects, political complexion of the
county, etc., would not be uninteresting to
the readers of The Democrat.
The short dry Bpell has enabled our
farmers to thoroughly clean their crops.
Y'or the last few days the rain has fallen in
copious showers over all this section.
Nearly the entire oat crop is saved. A
large area was planted, and the yields un
precedented. The corn crop 13 the finest
ever known in this section. The growth
ot cotton was somewhat retarded by the
last cold snap but , is improving and the
prospect is good. The crops near Col
quitt I hardly think can be beaten in the
state. I have a fortyracre field in corn
that good judges say will make 25 bushels
per acre. In fact the crops are fine all
over the county. Your merchants may
look oat for a good supply of cotton and a
fine trade from Miller this fall. We have
had no disease among our hogs this year
and should they continue to do well will
be able to sell your merchants bacon in
stead of buying.
The political atmosphere is heating,
little Alic I think stands in the van for
Governor. We have four candidates for
the Legislature; each expecting to be
elected by a large majority. They are
clever gentlemen and either will make a
good worthy member. The candidates for
county officers are numerous, and others
are nosing around for a place to crawl in
at.
Our town is improving. Several have
had their store houses aud dwellings re-
modled and painted. We have a large
Academy in course of construction, nearly
fiuished. The Methodist Church here
recently built, is a large bouse, nicely fin
ished aud supplied with a good organ, and
with the aid of that amiable and acorn
plished lady, Mrs. Fudge, assisted occa
sionally by another of Miller’s fairest
daughters. Miss Dora Loving, our Sabbath
school is furnished with delightful music.
Uato.
A Common Mistake.
“I take your paper.” Jess so. But
that does not entitle you to half a column
of free advertising, nor an equal share in
all our belongings. You take your own
paper, not oors, if you pay for it; and you
take it for your own benefit, and generally
without the slightest idea that your pat
ronage is of any advantage to us. We
print newspapers as a business transac
tion, and yon buy them because you need
them. There is no debt of obligation in
curred on either side. If you like the pa
per and think you can afford to take it,
you will continue to take it; and if we can
afford it we will continue to furnish it,
But when you then, or fancy you think,
you have auy claim on us other than fair
tieatment because of these business rela
tions, you entirely mistake the plan of
journalism, this is addressed to no es
pecial person but, is given as a sort of gen
eral reproof for what seems to be*a preva
lent notion among no inconsiderable class
who imagine that because they take the
paper that they, therefore have a mortgage
on the office and its editor.—Exchange.
Jnst in ‘Time.
It was also an Ohio man who, when a
terrible storm set in one nigbt, rushed
into the house of a neighbor and cried out:
“Jone9, this is the ending up of the
earth I”
“I’m afraid so—I’m afraid so!” was the
reply.
“And what shall we do 7”'
“Make our peace with Heaven I”
The wind blew still stronger, the house
began to shake, and the excited man ex
claimed :
“JoDes, you lost five bushels of wheat
last fall T
“Y C8.”
“And you have your suspicions 7”
“I have. The man who took my wheat
had better own up.”
“Can you forgive him7”
“I can.”
“Wei!—”
Here tbe wind suddenly dropped, and
after a look tbroogh the window the con
science stricken man turned and finished
‘•Yes, if I ever meet him 111 advise him to
call around.”
We publish the following item for the
benefit of tbe girls. Cat it out and parte
it on tbe disb-pao: To wash dishes nicely
fill your disb-pau full of hot water, and add
a half a cup of milk. It softens the hard
est water, gives the dish a dear, bright
look, preserves the hand from chapping,
which comes from using soap. It cleans
the greasiest dishes without leaving the
water covered with scum.
Georgia Saake*.
Detroit Free Press.
We were sitting on the poet-offoe
steps at Ringold Georgia when Judge
Hallam winked me around the corner
and whispered:
“The old chap on that cracker-box
is Colonel Slasher, the biggest liar in
the State of Georgia. Ask him for a
snake story/
I slid back, looking innocent and
unconcerned, and at the first opportu
nity 1 inquired :
‘Colonel, are there any moccasin
snakes in this State V
‘Billions of ’em/ he replied.
‘Well, I reckon ! Yam I Don’t talk
to me about big snakes 1’
Colonel, how long a snake did yon
ever see.
He rolled his quid over and over and
got both hands over his left knee be
fore replying ; ‘I’m afraid you would-
not believe me/
‘Yes, I—that is—yes, I would/
‘You know that snakes grow mighty
fast down here V
Of course/
And that onr swamps offer them a
secure retreat V
“Certainly/
“I wouldn’t have you doubt my
word,’ he remarked after a pause as he
squinted his left eye at a spotted dog
across the streets.
‘How could I colonel V
H6 rose up slowly, stepped down over
the sand and paced off about forty feet,
going over the ground twice and count
ing his steps When he had returned
and taken his seat I asked ;
Do yon mean to tell me, colonel,
that yon have seen a snake forty feet
long V
‘Oh, no, no 1’ he quickly replied. ‘I
was simply pacing off to see if there
was room to plant six hitching posts in
there. The longest snake I ever saw
measured exacty ten inches by the rule,
and he had been dead three days to
boot r
The Farmer Army.
Just at this time, says an exchange,
the farmers all over the land are busy
and astir. Think of it! During the car*
rent year in the United States as many
as 120,000,000 acres will be under
grain! so many acres to be plowed, to
be harrowed, to be sowed and planted,
aod cultivated and reaped. How vast
the army of our American farmers; and
no stading army either. Does the heart
almost grow sick at the thought of such
an amount of plcddirg, plodding, plod
ding. toil, toil, toil, involved in all this?
But think too, how all this measureless
labor is by no means a prosaic affair; it
is capable of being cheered by all the
hope tbit comes of nature’s annual pro
phecy, and all the subtle gladness that
springs from the felt poetry of the earth
and sky and the advancing ever chang
ing seasons.
A North Carollaa Yarn.
A colored woman in Cape Fear Tow-
ship, having business in town on the day
in question, left her five children at home.
A rain coming on dating the afternoon,
they all went into tbe house, spread a
blankett upon the floor and all turned in,
covered themselves up and went to sleep.
In the meantime the tornado came, sent
the body of the house whirling through
tbe air, and left nothing but the floor to
show that on the spot there once stood a
dwelling. Some of the neighbors, know
ing that the mother was absent from home,
went to look after the children as soon as
tbe hurricane bad subsided, and found
them on their lodging still fast asleep.
Dr. Cary Cox has a gold mine in Chero
kee county. The otherdsy the hands were
sinking a shaft, and when six feet below
the surface'they came upon two pieces of
marble hewn into the shape and size of the
hitman bead. Tbe work bad evidently been
done with good tools, and while not entir
ely finished, showed that it was a skillful
artist who bandied the chiseL The beads
were found under six feet of clay, which to
all appearance bod sever been disturbed;
and lay direetly upon a bed of slate. Near
the mine is a bed of marble such as the
beads are hewn from Tbe question is who
made the beads, aad how did they get se
der six feet of clay7 They are now in the
bands of Mr. Wm. M. Bofford, the’saperin-
tendent of the mines.
Tbe Czar never receives anybody after
1 o’clock. The remainder of the day he
spends in the palace sob-cellar, locknd in a
Marvingosvski fire proof safe clad in his
cast iron ulster. He received Lieutenant
Danenhower at two. however, on that
gentleman making an affidavit that he
wasn’t a nihilist, and could not play on
the cornet.
A DeadTarlcey Gobbler.
"Oath. n
There sire decided indications' that Ros-
coe Cockling is passing not only ioto ob
scurity, bat into dislike by the v’fcry men
he has always been relyiog on to carry orit
his purposes. I met an intimate friend of
Governor Cornell to-day, who had just
come from Albany, and asked him if there
was any relation whatever between Cornell
and Cockling. He replied: “None What
ever rycra may rely upon that* And from
my observation of the Governor’s charact
er and temper, I do ndt think be wants
any more to do with Mr. Conkliog.”
It is noticeable here that Mr. Conklfng
is hardly ever seen in the company of a
strong character. He was standing up in
the Fifth Avenue.Hotel a nigbt or two ago
with a man who has been investigated by
the House of Reoresentatives for under
taking to strike for money when the Rus
sian government sold us Alaska, aud was
only saved from being shown up by the
committee by Mr. Conkling himself going
over to the House and asking as a personal
favor that he be not molested. This man
is in the lobby, and occupies a sinister and
darksome . position at Washington : yet
he is more with Mr. Conkling than any
other man.
Pensacola Advance-Gazette.]
The railroad would have got no steel;
there would have beec no n ilroad; Pensa
cola would have been, until now, the mori
bund sleepy hollow of twelve years ago, if
tha marplots and imbeciles conld have stop
ped the march of events by howling ’’Mono
poly 1” Howling is cheap—it is natural;
let the bowlers, therefore, howl!
Did you ever see a (Simon-pure reform*
er7—If yea, please state on your oath
how many political parties this said reform
er had belonged to previous to his reform
ation. Is he yel alive 7—If yea, please
state whether or not he is in the lnnatic
asylum, and if not why not 7 If he is dead
state if a post-mortem examination was
held, and if not why not 7 Did he ever
hold office 7 If yea, why 7—Florida Flap-
jack.
Those newspapers that are booming their
section are making a sad mistake Pensa
cola newspapers attempted this a year or
two ago, and they nearly ruined the town so
that within sixteen months more brick
and wooden-houses hare been built, more
capital has been invested, and more people
have come here and gone into business
than in any other two towns in the btate.
Let the press take warning by onr fate
and boom away.
A committee apointed by the Legisla
ture of Alabama to investigate and report
upon certain charges of malfeasance in
office against ex-Treasurer (and now Gov
ernor Thomas J. Churchill, of that State
whereby*he wft alleged to have defrauded
thq State, have made their report, and
find him indebted to the State in tbe sum
of over $114,000. This verdict has great
ly elated the Radical press, which is revel
ing in such expressions as “the dishonor
of a Sontbern Democratic Governor,” etc.
These delighted patriots Bhonld not per
mit themselves to go off in a transport of ec
static delirium, however, Governor Church
ill is not accused of stealing, only of mis
management, and they should remember
that whatever his offense it was invest
igated and exposed by a Democratic Legia,
latere. When carpetbagism reveled in
plunder and robbery in that State the
Radicals there and in the country gen
erally, patted them on tbe back and did
everything possible to shield and encour
age them in their thieveries. Remem.
brance ot this should tend to moderate the
transports of onr Radical contemporaries
Fogg says that he does not mind giving
a half dollar to the thirsty wayfaring man
who stops him on the street; but Fogg is
always in a burry, aud it dries up all the
milk of bumau kindness in bis sympathetic
breast to have a fellow stand athwart his
way with that everlasting formula. “I
beg pardon, sir; I hope yoa will excuse me
for stopping yoa in the street, sir; coaid
yoa wait one moment, sir; 1*8 detain yon
but a moment, sir.” and fa forth and so on,
Fogg says if the fellow would only blurt
out, “Give us a dime,” or something else
eqnalloy as brief and equally to the point,
he wouldn’t care. Of courso, be says, he
shouldn’t give the money, but it would
save him a great deal of vexation, and
save time to both himself aod the way
faring man.
A Philadelphia girl was so thoughtless
as to tell a friend that at her wedding the
names of tbe donors would net be display
ed With tbe presents. Of course the friend
told. Her Wedding came off tbe other day,
and the presents were not displayed either.
They consisted of 721 plated sugar spoons
and 1,380 salt eellere.
A noted physician says the most prolific
cause of woman’s nerroos diseases, hyster
ics, spinal disease and sick headache, is
high heeled boots. When he can persuade
his patients to cease wearing them, they
are patients no longer.
WIT A2U» HUMOR*
Perpetual shaking is what keeps up the
price of quinine.
Brio* of the Bible had his Ruth, bat
modern bores are ruthless.
Calling lot a division of the hbufle—
Filing a petition for divorce.
The first comer in Corn was when Jo
seph a toted all the gain in Egypt.
Society people, not engaged, repair to
rammer resorts hi order to ife-e6rt.
A famous race fiora6 & Earned little
BroVru Jug. He is always full of spirit.
Men Who join clubs find the does to
pay there, and the dence to pay at home.'
If yon wish to know the Climate of any
high mountain, why go to it and climb it.
What’s in a name? That which we
Cauliflower by anf other Canoe ^ould taste
is good:
Traveling in Russia must HJri frying to’
one not verst in the measures of distance
in that Country.’
The saddest consequences df a great
man’s death are the vetsCe that are written
to his memory:
He said her hair Was dyed, arid when 1
She indignantly exclaimed, ‘TiS false 1‘ hS
said he presumed so.
Even the most ambitious of then are
willing to' take second rather than first
place in an affair of honor.
What does the corner of a card turned
down mean? Menus that the other fel
low’s cheating. Watch him !
We knoW a few army officers who wilt
never be whipped out of their boots. P. S/
•They always wear shoes.
The bald-headed man’s idea of heaven
is a place where bnrlesqtfe opera perform
ances will go Off Filhofft end.
Fashion at a' piCnih demands that a girf
ehall get Wet sooner than hoist an umbrella 1
that doeri not match ber suit.
Thera never was a law In New England
forbidding a man kiss his wife on Sunday.’
It probably never was needed.
A boy who was kept after school for
bad orthography excursed h'maelf to his'
parents by sayirig he Was spellbound.
Ralph Waldo Emerson Amassed a for-
tuhe of over $200,000. He didn’t make-
money as fast as Billy Emerson, but he
saved more.
‘You don’t seem to relish wit this morn
ing,’ said a would-be wag to Foote. ‘You
haven’t tried me yet,’ Was the cruel reply:
The old proverb, ‘the better the day the
better the deed,’ doesu’t apply to an in
strument conveying real estate drawn up
on Suuday.
Young man, don’t triarry a gilded butter-'
fly. Marry a good-looking girl. The but
ter will fly fast enough when you get to
house-keeping,
‘What is tbe national fishery question 7’
pompously exclaimed an orator; and e~
squeaking voice in tbe audience responded,'
“It is, have you got a bite 7”
‘What is yonr income ?’ was once askedi
a noted Parisian Bohemian. ‘It is hard 1
to tell,’ was the reply* ‘but in good years I
can borrow at least 10,000 francs.
Said a prudent friend: Why, three
dollars fer a carriage is extravagance. Go'
in a horse-car or take a herdic. And th<r
extravagant man replied r I Can’t. Youf
see the lady I’m going to take isn’t my
wife.
Sitting Ball is credited with remarking
in a thoughtful manner s What a pity it,
is that oar forefathers, the Doble sons of
the forest, foile i to pass an anti European'
biH early in the seventeenth century.
A correspondent wants to know why a
yonng widow is more fascinating than af
young girl. We don’t know much abont
tbe subject, bnt should suppose that it iff
because tbe widow appreciates the value of
time,
A pretty girl u sweeden turned np her
nose at her poor bat deserving lover, and
it froze in that poetkm. Now she doesn’t'
know whether to retire from tbe world or
hire ont to stand in somebody’s hall for el
hat raek.
A gentleman giving a lecture to some
boys was explaining how no one coaid live
without air. He then eaid, ‘yon have
heard of % man drowning; how does that
happen?’ The ready answer was,‘cause
be ean’tswim.’
A Unman Babe Clot’aed III aff
Elephant’* Skin,
Montezuma Weekly
We have been to the borne of a color
ed mother on one of onr back streetff
and found a remarkable monstrosity iff
a week old babe. It is partly envelop-'
ed in an elephant’s skin, and conld not
be told from tbe hide of the animal unlesff
seen on the child. It has a thick,
rough, scaly exterior, covered with
jnst enough long hair to easily disera
it. The ehild has a long pendant ear'
on that side of tbe bead covered by thiff
skin, we view it as a fac simile of the
ear of a baby elephant. The skin pro
trudes a quarter of an inch above the
natural skin of the child. Itff
cries are low and plaintive like aq ani-
ma), not a human being. The mother
states Chat she attended a circus last
iUl, was frightened by the elephants^
alnd regards this as tbe' cause of the
child's strange deforminty. This child,-
or snanrel aw it may turn out to be, iff
large and healty and seems likely tff
live. What a curiosity it would bfe if
it should live. One of our citizeus hatf
offered the mother a thousand dollars'
for it. It is daily visited by hundreds'
of people.-
