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lt Weekly Democrat. Edllor an<l Prop r (*. n l! ”’ fc ' - r^rS’AV 24.1882. OF siBscuimoy. * .•.Un 01 ’ 1 100 [ ]|**ik*. 75 ! 10 8 ' lvance - linrrr.TisiNG rates and rules. 1, inserted at $2 per square fciriiUni"". a "' 1 51 for euch subse ' f" ""rt is cizht solid lines of this type. nude with contract adverti- - 0 ,iees of ei-ht lines are $15 per L or i'ftl per annum. Local no, > ce8 | *di»n three months are subject to | '.gl fHt63. . , _ I 8 * t si lvr*rti=er« who desire their ad- changed, must give us two r'.’iveriisements, tinless othcr- Krip.iUtt'l in contract, will be changed L cents P« r sq ,,arc - . , . F a . e ln | obituary notices, tributes of »Vl other kindred notices, charged I.iIkt advertisements. rr^ most take the run of the r we ,| 0 not contract to keep them ,jv particular place. .Monncements for candidates arc $10, if tforme insertion Ml.srr due upon the nppearance of the Liiscinent. and the money will be col- |„.| .« needed by the prop riel oi. lj bull adhere strictly to the above roles, U *ili depart from them under uocircum- SUECTORY, City Officers- K P.nsatll, Mayor. H smart, Marshal; W. D. Lewis, Deputy thtl; James IVttis, Police. It Wardell, Gity Clerk. L Harrell, City Treasurer, j,l tr nn n M. O Neal, J. D. Harrell, M. Is. }gjrtt U. Suashaum, H. 0. Curry, A. E. County Officers* iaton O’Nnil, Ordinary. T. Wimberley, Clerk Superior Court. |)i Currv, Ti i iisni er. |L.F. liurki it.Sheriff; D. I’- Waters, Deputy, nt'lliiaui I’oivi'H, Tax C’olllector. Imiiiiishi Hriiiaon, Tax Receiver, ommiasi nii r» I.. It. Jackson, Juo. R. .wford, (i. 1’. Wood, J. J. Higdon, J. I*. ienBuo. Tost Office, MAIL ARRIVES, |rrom Savannan at Ha. m., and leaves at5:15 ji. ClaaeB at post office at4.30 p. m. Ifnaii Co!i|0itt daily (except Sunday) 9. 30 tin. and leaven at 10, a. tu. |FruunHtr»in Mill at 2 p. m. every Wcdnes- V,tad Icarea 10 a. m. Tuesday and I ri- mt. [from AttapnlKiu 5 r>. m. Tuesday, Tlinrs- r and Saturday aim leaves at 7 a. in., same K- Court Calender. ALBANY CIRCUIT. ~ |L. r. Tl. Warren Judge. [junto W. Wahei'g Solicitor General. | litter- First Mond.iv in May and November. ItWhonn- Second Monday in March and ■jitonils’r. [iJi'Mlitr—Second and third Monday in May y.i November. Ill on-iior-ty—First, second and third Mon- Vy iu April auJ October. |liit(T.cli Fii.it Monday in March andfenrth mnlav in NuveniDer. [Worth- Fourth Monday in April and No- nU-r. Secret Societies- oak lodge so. 22.—a. o. tl w. JD.C. rar y, M. W. I J. T. Winibcrley, Recorder. • | Hn-tinea are held every 2nd ftid 4th Fri- i uigtns in eaon Liouth." |UXBUIDOE LODOE 1%'. 178.—AMEBCAN LEQIOS OF IJOSOR. I F. L. Babbit, Commander. I J. E. Reynold*. Secretary. IBjpUr meetings are held every 2nd and jthTuiaday uigbts in each month. fUSUMI LODGE NO. 1842.—KNIGHTS OF HONOR. 1II. 0. Curry, Dictator. I F. M. Smith, Reporter. I fbciiliir meetings are hold every' 1st and pa Friday uiglits iu each mouth. Church Directory* . JlEriloDIST. lU:v. T. T. CnRisui.AN Presiding Elder. I iii v ' Himaioss Pastor in Charge [Treadling every Sunday at 11 a. m. and 8 p. K-gulai weekly prayer meetings Wednes- hy evening at 8 p. ni. Wdiy School, at 4 y. o'clock p. m.—J. E. “loitnsuii, Superintendent. , vnr.snvTF.iuAN. I n • ‘F A. McKee, D.D Tastov. 1Preaching on the second, third and fourth rttmays at 11 a. m. and 8 p. m. Regular |m«y prayer meetings everv Thursday even- p' »t 8 o'clock n. m. . I isiu,lav >ebo(il at 8 o'clock a. m.—J. E. rouaie.in, Superintendent. TV. D. T ALBERT. \VM. M. HARRELL. TALBERT & HARRELL, ilorneys and Councelers at Law, BAINBRIDGE. GA. |he above have formed a copartnership 'ter the firm name of Talbert A Harrell the practice of law. Will practice in the courts of the Albany»Circuit. Office f f Barnett's store. August 14.1882. Banbridge Academy. The above institution will begin ob the 51 Monday in August, the 28th. A full 1“ a'de corps of teachers will bt employ- ■>nd every endeavor made to give satis- r'ivm. Patronage of citizens of Bain- j 1 ‘S* *ud the surrounding country soiieit- Tunion as heretofore. He- pect fully, J.b. S2, J. e Witherspoon. AINB BY BEN. E. RUSSELL. J BUSINESS d- ERCtFES$IOSAL. MEDICAL CARD. Dr, M. J, Nicholson, Has removed to Twilight, Miller coun ty. Georgia. Office in J. S. Cliiton’s re. ,.*• feb.9,’82. MEDICAL CARD. Dr. E. J. Morgan Has removed his office to the drug store, formerly occupied by Dr. Harrell. Resi- dcnce on West street, south of Shotwell. where calls at night will reach him. CHARLES C. BUSH, Attorney at Law COLQUITT, GA. Prompt attention given to all business en trusted to me. DENTISTRY. J.C. Curry, D.D. S., Can he found daily at his office on South Broad s*rce‘. up stairs, in E. Johnson’s building, where he is ready to attend to the wants of the public at reasonable rates. dec-5-78 D’ MCU1LL, m. o’nkal McGILL & O’NEAL. Attorneys at Law. BAINBltlDGE, GA. Their office will be found over the post of fice. JNO, b. donalson, BYRON B. BOWER. BOWER & DONALSON, Attorneys and Counsellers at Law. Office in the court house. Will practice in Decatur and adjoining counties, and etsewhere by special contract. a-25 7 DOCTOR M. L. BATTLE, Dentist. Office over Hinds St^e, West side coert lintose. Has fine demal engine, and will have everything to make his office first-class. Terms cash. Office hours 9 a. m, to 4 p. m. jan,13tf DR. L. H. PEACOCK, Respectfully tenders his professional serv ices to the people of Haiti bridge and vicini ty- Office over store of J. T). Harrell & Bro Residence on West end of Broughton street, where he can be found at night. April 6,1881— Yellow Rust Proof Gats. I have at Bainbridge 1200 bushels of fine yellow rust proof seed oats lor sale, cleaned by the best separator. Parties wishing to plant the very best seed may find it to tiieir interest to secure them nefore all are sold. B. B. BOWER. Bainbridge, Ga., Aug 10, 1882.—2m. ALBERT WINTER, Real Estate and Collecting Agent. BAINBRIDGE, GEORGIA. I will be glaJ to receive the patronage of all who have properly to sell or rent, or collecting to make. All business placed in my hands will receive promp* attention. I will lpok after wild lauds, investigate titles, pay taxes and protect from tresspassers. 1 propose to make the collection of bad claims a specialty. The worse the claim the more attention I will give it. Correspondence solicited. Aug. 1, 1882. KE3IOVXl, Tins is to notify my friends, patrons and e Pabli- generally, that I have removed ' Marne-'. Store iiext to F. L. Babbit's on nth Broad street, where I hepc to receive oiture. the congratulations and patron- * m . v 'fiends. Thanking the public for st favors, and hoping a continuance of *jsame, 1 am Yours Respectfully, J YCOB BORN. 5. 1S82. Tan. 5 Macon bill’ll For special instruction in bookkeeping, htnaiiship, business arithmetic, corres- f^bdence, bill heading, telegraphy aud ^“eml business routine. _ IffcKAY, - - PRNICIPAL. ^ °r terms, information* as to boarding , apply • le principal. P. O. box ® i Mac* •gia. NOTICE. GEORGIA. Miller ':ounty : By order of the Judge of the Superior Court of said county, I will sell, before the court house door, of said county, be tween the legal hours of sale, on the first Tuesday in September next ; one half in terest in the south half of lot ol land num ber (5) five, in the (13) thirteenth district of said county, for the purpose of rein vestment in other lands. Terms cash. D. D. Grimes, Guardian of jy.2G-’82. Bell Boid Grimes. Decatur Sheriffs Sale. GF.ORG1A—Decatui County; Will be sold before the court house door in the town of Bainbridge on the first Tues day in September next between the usual liuursof sale the following property to-wit: Lots of land number 37 and 38 in the fifteenth district of Decatur county, said property given in by E. Ymram for the year 1881, to satisfy one Tax Fi Fa issued by Tax Collector vs E. Amram lor unpaid fctate and county taxes. Levy made and return ed to me by a constable. L. F. BURKETT, Aug. 1, 1882. Sheriff. Decatur Sheriff’s Sale. GEORGIA—Decatur Comity : Will be sold before the court house door in the town of Bainbridge on the first Tues day in September next between the usual aoursof sale the following property to-wit : One acre of land, more or less, in Decatur county, bounded north by property of 11 C. Curry, east by property of Albert Winter, south by the "Savannah, Florida & Western Railroad, and west by property of Mariah Crawford—levied on as the proper ty of Margeret Williams to satisfy one Tax fi fa issued by Tax Collector vs Margeret Williams tor unpaid State and county taxes. Levy made and returned by a constable. L. F. Bcrkett. • Aug. 1, 1882. Sheriff. Decatur Sheriff’s Sale. GEORGIA—Decatur County; Will be s lid before the court house d oor in the town of Bainbridge, during the usual hours of sale, on the first Tuesday in September next, the following propert.y to-wit: .. - fi-ij acres of lot no. 342 in the 15th dis trict of Decatur County, boundod north by Jack Wright’s land, on the south by Jerry Bell’s land, the same being now occupied bv Nick Ogletree, and levied on as the pro- ertv of Nick Ogletree to satisfy one Justice Court fi fa in favor of Patterson & McNair for use of J. P. Dickenson vs Nick Ogletree, said fi ffi now transferred to H. C. blurry levy made and retnmed to me by a consta. hie. L. F. BURKETT. Aug. 1, 1882. Sherift OBSKRV W1«.\S. BAINBRIDUE, GA, THURSDAY, AUGUST 2^ $88 YOL. 11.—NO. 44. BT Bftv. ryV* v '*-^ You may notch in in de palins as a mighty reskv plan To make yo’ jedgment by de clo’se day kivers up de man; For I hardly needs to tell ye how ye ofen comes across A fifty dolls’ saddle on a twenty dolla’ boss. An* workin’ in de low-groun’s, you diskiver as you go, Dat dt fines’ shack may bide de meanest nub bin in de row! I think a man has got a mighty slender chace for Heben, Dat holds on to his piety but one day out ob seben— Dat talks about de sinners wid a heap of sol emn chat, An’ nebber drops a nickle in de missionary bat; Dat’s fo’mogt in de meetin’ house for raisin all de chance, Bat lays aside his ’ligion wid his Sunday pan taloons 1 X nebber jedge o’ people dat I meets along de way By de places whar dey come from, an’ de houses whar dey stay; Because dc Bantam chicken’s fond o’ roostin’ purty high, An’ de turkey buzzard sails above de eagle iu de sky. Dey ketches little minners in do middle ob de sea. Au’ you finds de smalles’ possum up d« big gest kind o’ tree. Hallsand'a. “Whom I crown with love is royal; Matters not her blood or birth ; She is.queen, and I am loyal To the noblest of the earth. Neither place, nor wealth, nor title, Lacks the man my friendship own ; His distinction, true and vital, Shines suprtme o’er crowns and thrones. Where true love bestows its sweetness, Where true friendship lays its hand, Dwells all greatness, all completeness. All the wealth of every land. Man is greater than condition, And where men himself bestows, Ho begets and gives position To the gentlest that he knows. Letter from Climax. Climax, Ga., Aug. 8,1882. Mr. Editor :—Last Friday night we had the pleasure of witnessing an exhibi tion which occurred at the school house generally known as the Jones School House, being only a few hundred yards from Oapt. Jones’ dwelling, aud about four miles from Wbigham, south east. The exhibition was managed by Miss Ocy Pope, the experienced and efficient teacher of the school, and she deserves great credit for the systematic way in which she performed her duties, both as teacher and manager. The exercises were commenced by speeches by tbe small boys or the school, some of which were very Due for such young speakers. Mr. D. U. Hunt was then introduced; a most eloquent and enthusiastic speaker. His address was ou the benefit of educa tion and was delivered in an able manuer and very appropriate for the occasion. It was short but to the point, showing the necessity of educating the young, and the miserable and wretched condition in which they would be left without au education. And if the parents of that coiumun ty will only profit by Mr. Hunt’s able argument, they will soon fiud their commuhity in a most flourishing and prosperous condition. Frof. CumSy was next introduced, and delivered a very interesting discourse on the poor boy of the land and rnusie. Prof. Cumhy is a splendid musician and under stands music thoroughly. Next were compositions, and if we may be allowed to judge by the able composi tions written by tbe little girls, we can say that tbe parents of that community have already seen tbe great necessity of educat ing their children. Tableaux and commedys, which were exceedingly well "acted, reflected great credit on the worthy manager. Mr. R. W. Cassels. of Tired Greek was next, introduced to deliver the closing dis course, which he did in an able aud admir able manner; admonishing the people to to let. the education of their sons and daughters be their first and foremost aim. After the exercises were over the young people met and had soaie fine music and singing. Prof. Cumby performing on the organ and Mr. G. W. Logue on the violin. The music over, we left the place, and on our return stopped over and spent Satur day in the beautiful little town of IVhigbatn. The merchants here are receiving their fall and winter goods. Dr. W. A. Davis, the leading and enterprising young merchant of the place, has on hand the largest stock of goods that has ever been brought to Wbigham. Mr. Jones, of Bainbridge. and Mr. J.«B. Lasseter. of Wbigham. are also opening a large Rtock ot dry goods here which will add greatly to the advance ment of Wbigham. The crop prospects through this section have greatly changed io tbe last two weeks. The recem heavy and continued rains have caused the cotton to rust and cast iu fruit. It is now estimated that there vjll not be more than a half crop of co ton made in this section. The core, cane and potatoes are very good. Observe*. The Printer. once paid the following mte - to the toilers at the case: “Tbe printer is tbe ajutaDt of thought, and this explains the mystery of the won derful word that can kiudle a hope.as no song can—that can warm a heart as no hope—that word “we,” with a hand-in- hand warmth m it, for the author and printer are engineers together, engineers indeed! When the little Corsican bom- ibarded Cadiz at the distance of five miles, it was deemed the very triumph of 'engin eering. But what is that range to this, whereby they bombard ages yet to be? There at the ’case’ he stands and marshals into line the forces armed for truth, cloth ed iu immortality and English. And what can be nobler than the equipment of a thought iu sterling Saxon—Saxon with the ring of spear on shield thereon, and that commissioning it when we are dead, to move gradually on to the ‘latest sylable of recorded time.’ This is to win a victory from death, for this has no dying in it. The printer is called a laborer, and the office he performs, toil. Oh, it is not work, but a sublime rite that he is performing, when he thus sights the etigiue that is to fling a worded truth in grander curve than missile e’er before described—fling into the bosom of an age yet unborn. He throws off his coat indeed ; we but won der, the rather that that he does not put his shoes from off his feet, for the place whereon he s’ands is holy ground. A little song was uttered somewhere, long ago—it wandered throughtthe twiiigh fee bler than a star—it died upon the ear. Bnt the printer caught it up where it was lying there in silence like a wounded bird, and he equips it anew with wings, and he sends it forth from the ark that had pre served it, and it flies into the future with the olive branch oi peace, and around the world with melody, like the dawming of a spring morning. How the types have built up the broken arches iu the bridge of time. How they render the brave ut terances beyond the pilgrims audible and eloquent—hardly fettering the free spirit but moving—not a word, not a syla ble lost iu the whirl of the world—moving in connected paragnph and period, down the lengthening line of years. Some men find poetry, but they do not look for it as some men do in nuggets of goid ; they see it iu nature’s own handwriting, that so few know bow to read, and they render it into English. Such are poems for a twi light hour and a nook in the heart; we may lie under the trees when we read them, and watch the gloaming, and see Understand ins Miens Nfatures. About mid afternoon yesterday a citizen who pulls down the acales at 196 pounds descended the first flight of stairs beyond the post-office in just the same manuer that a bag of oats would have chosen, and when he brought up at the foot he was in no frame of mind to chip in anything for the heathen in Afrioa. The first citizen who arrived on tho spot knew what his duty re quired of him on such an occasion, and he smilingly remarked; ‘I don’t bslicve you can improve on the old way !’ The second citizen passing was in a hurry ; but he knew that he ninst halt and inquire: ‘Like that any better coming down than the way the rest of us do V The third citizen had business at the post-office, but he turned aside, cleared his throat, and remarked : ‘Evidently fell down staire ?—Curious how it sets the blood tJ circulating! Some of you had better Bee if his nose is broken—good-bye V There was a fourth spectator, and he slowly entered the doorway, bent over the victim, and remarked ; ‘I’d have given a dollar to see him come down ! He’s one of the sort who bump every stair!’ The fifth man was about to add his mite when the victim rose up. Hi9 elbows were skinned, his nose barked, his coat toru and his back sand-papered the whole length, but he was a man who had traveled. He knew that every body in the crowd was hoping to see him juuip up and down shake his fists, and paw the air, and to hear him declare lie would lick all the men who could be packed in a ten acre lot, and therefore he brought a sweet smile to his face, lifted his hat like a perfect gentleman, and limped up stairs with the bland re mark : * ‘Stubbed my toe as I came in the door, you know, and came near falling in a heap.’—Detroit tree Press. WIT A.\U HU.HOB. Glad to Meet a Gentleman. ‘May I open the window for yon, Miss V politely inquired a gentleman of a young lady on the Northern Pacific road, as he saw her tugging at a sash the laces iu the clouds, in the pauses; we that had not yet recovered from the re may read them when the winter coals are j cedin" winter. glowing, and the volume may slip from the forgetful hand, and still, like evening bells, the melodious thoughts will ling on. List of Jurors. Grand Jurors, drawn by the Jury Com- missioncis to serve as such at November Term, 1882—2ud Monday in November: Michael Swicord, G E McGriff, L F Patterson, P H Herring. G W English, T A Barrow, Jessee N Maxwell. Isaac Wil liams, L M Griffin, Joseph L Sunday, J K Cunningham, J R Brock, S A Smith, Jno Earnest, P G Brinson, G L Harrell, D P Harris, J B Wight, T M McNair, D B Curry, Jno Nharon. J R Graves, JT Wim berly, A Coak, T R Wardell, Abner Av- riett, -Martin Harrell, Absalum Brown, E M Smallwood. J T Roberts. Travers Jurors for 1st week 2nd Monday in November: C W Chestnut, J RBrumley, C C Wal den, A J Porter, J P Harrell, J R Golsen, Jas Little, John M Daughtery, Abram Brock, E S Law, Alfred Godwin, C D Brock, D P Hinson, John Rehburg, Jno K Pullen, Geo F Norton, W S A J Cox, E M D Littlefield, J B Guyton, R M Wil liams, W C Gibson, T S Cooper, J Born, J F Darsey. Jas W Smith, It II Mathis, J E Thursby, B G Chastain, N D Per kins, Anthony Palmer, D L Bryant, Z T Booth, Jno W Gainous, J H Ezell, T W Dollar. Second week, 3rd Monday in Novem ber: E J6 McNair, J J Nbivory, H F Ar- line. H A Lashiey, H B Cliett, W W Botts. W J Griner, W J Parker, W L Williams. Wm Mobley, A H Deekle, Ellas Jones, W B Bell, Enora Bryant, J L Wilkes, Alfred Moore, A S Cox, J M Hornsby, E E Barber, James M Whig- ham, W M Dollar, M J Connell, WI Andrews. Loaey Harrell. E J Martih, Preston Gause. T P Powell, Emmerson Faircloth, J F Cox, J* H Hornsby, J II Gray, J M FreemaD, D J Williams. Samp son Harrell Aaron Long, J 1’ Hatcher. A commercial traveler, who is some thing of a wag. thus relates his expe rience : He and his companions were the sole occupants of the smoking car. They tried to converse, but the road was so rough they were pitched from sidd to side like a ship’s passengers. She glanced at him a moment and then gave a reluctant consent. ‘Folks can’t be too careful who they accept favors from,’ she remarked, after a bug pause. That is very true,’ replied the gen tleman, quietly. ‘Are you a Boston drummer V ‘No, I am not.’ ‘A hotel clerk V ‘No, not a hotel Merk,’ ‘I am glad o F that,’ said she; I never let a drummer or hotel clerk speak to me. Maybe you’re an actor V ‘No, not an actor.’ ‘That’s first-class!’ she exclaimed, showing her dimples and becoming more and more confidential. If an actor should speak to me I’d die. What is your business ?’ ‘I am-a barkeeper, and am traveling West to get a Territorial divorce from my wife,’ explained the gentleman. ‘Oh, I’m so glad,’ giggled the girl. ‘Reach down my eatehel ; there’s a bottle of whiskey and a pack of cards in it. I’ll play you an odd game of California Jack for 35 a corner. I like to meet a geetleman, and I know one when I meet him. Please ask that bald-headed duffer across there if he’s got a cork-screw.’—Ex. Conversation turned on a late marri age between December and May, some of the gentlemen poohoohtng the match. But the lady stoutly champiencd the frostbitten Benedict. ‘Why,’ said she, ‘every man ought to keep himself mar ried as long as he lives. Now, here’s my husband ! What would he be good for without a wife ? If I should die to night he would get another wife to morrow, 1 hope. Wouldn’t you, Josiah ?’ Josiah breathed heavily and seemed to sum up the connubial tor ments of a lifetime in his calm response ; ‘No. my dear, I think I should take a rest!’ Judge Miller, of Gainesville, has in , , , , his possession a blue glass pint flask At last they were able to make each , , , , , .. - J i over one hundred years old wli.cn it is other understood. One said, Dau, tbe i the old thing is running smoother.’ To which Dan replied : ‘Yes I guess she has got off the track.’ several pulls at its contents duing the days that tried men’s souls. Some men cannot stand prosperity. Others never get a chance to try. As a rule of conduct, bonesty is the best policy, has given way to steal only large amounts. ‘I said in my wrath,’ remarked the inspired writer, ‘all men are liars. That was rash. I will reconsider it and say that all men who catch trout are liars.’ The American Poultry Adviser is the name of a New journal that comes to us this week. We hope it will advise the ponltry in this vicinity to lay fresher eggs. A woman does not care so much whether her costume is warm in winter or cool in summer. All that she re quires is that it shall look warm in the one case and look cool in the other. ‘Jonnie, don’t stand there scratching your head ; stir your stumps or you’ll never make any progress in life.’ ‘Why, father, I have heard you say the only way to get along in this world was to scratch ahead. The most marvelous dental achieve ment bas just transpired with a Brook lyn dentist, wherein a lady has not spoken for six months. Through mis take he got hold of her tooth and pull ed her voice out. ‘When a man sits down,’ said an elo quent Buffalo counsellor in summing up a case, ‘to eat dinner in the bosom of his family,’—‘That is a curious proceed ing for a full grown man,’ remarked his opponent. A Canadian couple, en route to Dakota to settle, weighed six hundred and fourteen* pounds—the man three hundred and ten pounds and the wife three hundred and four pounds. Let us hope they will be careful what they set tle on. Smiling young lady enters elevated railroad car; every seat is full; an old gentleman gits up. ‘Oh, don’t rise,’ sajs the lovely girl, ‘I can just as well stand.’ ‘You can do just as you please about that, Miss,’ says the old geut> ‘but I am going to get out.’ The peculiar costume of the dwellers in Arizona is thus gtaphically described by a ‘tender-foot‘In ordinary weath er he wears a belt with pistols in it. When it grows chilly he puts on anoth~ belt with pistols tu it, and when it be comes really cold he throws a Winches ter rifle over his shoulders.’ A young man on a tram was making fun of a lady’s hat to an elderly gen tleman in the seat with him. ‘Yes,’ said his seat-mate, ‘that’s my wife, and I told her,that if she wore that bonnet some fool wonld make fun of it.’ Tho young man slid out, ‘See here !’ yelled the farmer to the city chap who had just fired into a flock of ducks on the pond back of the'house, those are domestic ducks, sir.’ ‘Can’t help it, sir, if they are,’ answered the city chap, calmly loading; they’re just as good for my purpose, exactly.' A girl shouldn’t wear a black belt about her waist when she’s got a white dress on and is walking with a young man in the night time. It makes it appear from a near view as if her fellow had his arm around her waist. ‘Is that a Tonado ?’ inquired a gen tleman of a friend in New York as they sat in the library smoking their after dinner cigar. ‘Well, not exactly,’ re plied the host as the roaring increased in fnry; “that is only my wife speak ing to the girl for not telling you to wipe your feet before you came into the parlor.’ ‘Jim, lemtne a quarter till Saturday night.’ ‘By George, Bill, 1 can’t do it, with things looking as they are in the East. Eyptain; troubles and the inter ference with the navigation of the Suez canal is shakin the confidence in all classes of securities, I see. and I ain’t goin’ to make no more investments un til this war cloud blows over and the crop prospects is a looking a little bet ter.' As some lady visitors were going through a penitentiary nnder the escort of s superintendent, they come to a room in which three women were sew ing. ‘Dear me!’ one of tbe visitors whimpered, ‘what vicious looking crea tures! Pray, what are they here for V Because they have no other home; this is my sitting-Toom and th*v are my wife and two daughters,’ blandly answered the superintendent. The Lore Bag. A California physician who discover ed a new disease—love madness—haff been experimenting with the persons afflicted therewith aud has produced the ‘love parasite,’or bacillus micrcccua. This he cultivated up to tbe twentieth generation, and with the parasites of that generation he inoculated a number of subjects. Tho inoculation was in variably successful, symptioms of the disease appearing in a very short time after the operation. A bachelor, aged 50 years, on the first day after inocula tion had his whiskers dyed, ordered a new suit of clothes and a set of falso teeth, bought a top baggy, a bottle of hair restorer, a diamond ring and a guitar, and began reading byron’s poems. The inoculation produced symptoms of the same nature in a young lady of 45. She spent S5 at a drug store for ■cosmetics, bought a lot of new hair and a croquet set, sang ‘Empty is the Cradle,’ sent out invitations for a party, and complained that the young men do not go into society. An inoculats ed youth of 17, employed in # country store, did np a gallon of molasses in a paper bag, and also in a fit of absent- mindedness, put the cat in the butter tub and threw some fresh butter out of the window. Finally he sat in a basket of eggs while looking at the photograph of a pretty girl and was discharged for his carelessness. The Chico doctor is still eperimentingi and will soon lay the results of his obseavation beforo thef medical world.—Ex. Thought*. Good thonghts not put into action are like good seeds thrown into the fire. How absurd to be afraid of death when we are in the habit of rehearsing it every night. All passions are good when one masters them ; all are bad when one is a slave ttf them. Cowardice, asks,i3 it safe ? Expedience asks, is it politic ? Vanity asks, is it pop-' ular ? But conscience asks, is it right ? Not the perversities of others, not their sins of commission or omission, but hie own misdeeds and negligence, sould * sage take notice of. It is a mark ol a low nature to see a man regard mouey *3 an end, and not a means and finds his chief delight in gloat-’ ing over his gains. Unless a man can link his written thoughts with *he everlasting wants of men, so that they shall draw from them aff from wells, there is no more immortality to the thoughts aud feelings of the soul than to the muscles and the bones. Mach of our trouble comes from discon tent with the allotments of Providence. The meek shall iuherit the earth- They’ may not own one inch of its soil, yet the earth is theirs, because meekness saves us from a murmuring disposition and brings rest into the heart. All that the earth has to give of enduring value, the meek have and enjoy. Rest in the Lord, in his promises and goodness, and then all things shall work together for good. An Eye Wholly to Bn nines*. A stranger, who had been making some purchases in Moses Schaumburg’s emporium on Austin avenue left an um brella iu the store wberenpon one of the clerks, who bad only been in the sture a few days, picked up the umbrella, and was about to run after the stranger and return it to him. ‘Let me see dot umprella' said MoieSy whereupon it was handed to him. ‘Py shiuiminy gracious, dot vasa silfc nmprella. Chust put-dot away pehiuti da calicos, vere nobody will stumble over it and preak Irig-flaqk.* ‘But I want to give it back to ther onwer,” remonstrated the clerk. ‘Mine Godt, does yon vant to make » stranger susbect dot Austin merchants have got no pisness cabacity. If you gives him dot nmprella pack he would lose all confidence io pishuess cabacity< —Texas Siftings. Fapcy, Facts and Fignrc*. Aprons first worn by Eve, 1. Bicycle first used by ixion' 201. Shampooning introduced by PtrbaroeaSy 1222. Quail on toast first served by the Israel ites, 65. Free lunches introduced by Josep into Egypt, B. C. 490. Bricks first worn in the hat by Noah,- B. C. 2000. Weather prophets invented by Aan*-' mas, B. C. 300. Firet great moral show started by Noah, B. C. 5000. Gin cocktails invented by Confacions iff Cochin China. B. C. 600. Circulation discovered by Harvey 154Q/ Lied about by editors ever since. Some men, and boys also, are so smart as to think they can dispense with hon esty. Such usually overreach them selves, as did the boy referred to here: A youngster was sent to by his parent to take a letter to the posloffice aud pay the postage on it. The boy returned highly elated, and said, ‘Father, I seed a lot of men putting letters in a little place •, and, when do one was looking/ 1 slipped yours in for nothing.*