Newspaper Page Text
BILL ARP’S LETTER
Bartow Man Rsproduces Humor*
OU8 Sermon Preached Years Ago.
HARANGUE OF A “FLATBOAT" PARSON
Expounded From Uncertain Text of
"H« Played on the Harp of a
Thousand -Strings—Sperita of
Jest Men Made Perfeck.'’
I have bad an occasional request to
reproduce and save^from oblivion a
sermon that went tile round of the
couthern press some fifty years ago
and was known as the “Harp of a
Thousand Strings." Not- long ago 1'
quoted a paragraph from It. and a
friend writes me from East Feieclaha,
La., and says that the author of that
quaint sermon lived and died In that
parish, and his daughters and grand
children live there now, and are his
near neighbors. Strange to say, the
author was a minister of the gospel,
sober, serious, solemn and devoted to
his calling, and for a long time it was
not known that the humorous writings
over the signature of “Zedoklah the
Scribe," came from his gifted pen.
But preachers can’t help seeing and
enjoying the ludicrous side of human
nature. Sidhey Smith, the famous
English divine, was as solemn as the
grave on solemn occasions, but he in
haled a great deal of merriment with
out a smile. He provoked others to
the most convulsive laughter, but gave
no sign, save in the twinkle of his
eyes. Judge Longstreet, the eminent
jurist, the learned preacher, the digni
fied president of two colleges and a
university, and the author of “Geor
gia Scenes,” was of similar type. I
met him often during my youth, and do
not recall that he Indulged in humor
ous anecdote. The last time I met him
was during the war in the office of
the Columbus Enquirer, when he in
dulged in bitter sarcasm against some
Georgians, whom he -ailed traitorous
obstructionists. I could hardly Im
agine that it was he who molded the
inimitable characters of Ned Brace
and Ramsey Sniffle. Johns Hooper
was not a preacher, but always a se
date and very dignified gentleman.
He was secretary of the embryo con
federacy t-.at assembled in Montgom
ery, and there was no sign of “Simon
Suggs” of “Taking the Census" in his
solemn deportment. My observation
has been that the best story tellers
' and conversationalists have the least
Inclination to publish their own
scintillation. It was common to
say of my old partner, “Oh! rare Judge
Underwood,," but I could never in
duce him to put pen to paper in that
line. He said that a good story or a
flash of wit and humor lost its relish
by writing it, for the tone of voice, the
accent, the piquancy, the facial ex
pressions couict not be recorded.
When the Rev. J. T. Lewis wrote
this sermon it was not uncommon for
amateur preachers to perform up end
down the western rivers and thus ad
vertise their business, which was prin
cipally flat boating and peddling their
produce. Lorenzo Dow took continen
tal journeys from Maine to Texas, tut
he was a pretty good orthodox preach
er. These flat boat preachers were a
rough and tumble lot, and tangled up
the scriptures awfully, but they could
draw the crowds and their whiskey
was a good card. It was an orthodox
produce then and preachers and the
people were as fond of it as old Father
Noah, who was a preacher of right
eousness. Rev. Mr. Lewis does not
give this preacher’s name, tut his ser
mon has Leen sent me by my friend
and I give it to your readers as It was
given to me. When it first came forth
we thought It Inexpressibly funny. It
is not so funny now to the old people,
but tho younger generation are more
easily amused than thq, veterans and
for their sake I append jt. A pretty
school girl recited it last week at the
commencement exercices of our pub
lic school and she d’d it well and
brought down the house.
This sermon was said to have been
preached at Port Hudson, where the
amateur divine had “tied up” for the
double purpose of observing the Sab
bath and selling whiskey.
I may -say to you, my brethering,
that I am not an edicated man, an’
I am not one of them as believes that
- edlcation is necessary for a gospel
minister, for I believe the Lord edi-
cates His preachers jest as He wants
em to be edicated; and although I say
It that oughtn't to say It, yet In the
state of Indlanny, where 1 live, thar’s
no man as gits bigger congregations
nor what I gits.
Thar may be some here today, my
.brethering, as don’t know what per
suasion I am uv. Well, I must say to
you, my brethering, that I’m a Hard
Shell Baptist. Thar’s some folks as
don’t like the Hard Shell Baptists,
but I had rather have a hard shell
than no shell at all. You see me here
today, my brethering, dressed up In
good clothes; you mout think I was
proud, but I am not proud, my brether
ing, and although I have been a
preacher of the gospel for twenty
years, and although I’m capt’in of the
flat boat that lies at your landing, I’m
not proud, my brethering, ah.
I am not gwine to tell edzactly whar
my text may be found; suffice it to
say it is in the leds of the Bible, and
you'll find it somewhere between the
first chapter of the book of Genera
tions and the last chapter of the book
of Revolutions, and ef you will go and
search the scriptures, you’ll not only
find my tex tbar, but a gre\t many
other texes as will do you good to
read, and my tex, when you shall find
it to read thus, ah:
“And he played on a harp of a thou
sand strings—sperits of Jest men made
perfeck."
My tex, my brethering, leads me to
speak of sperits. Now thar’s a great
many kinds of sperits in tho world-
in the fuss place, thar’s the sperits
some folks call ghosts, and thar’s the
sperits of turpentine, and thar’s the
sperits as some folks call liquor, and
I’ve got as good an artlkel of them
kind of sperits on my flat boat as ever
was foch down tho Mississippi river;
but thar’s a great many kinds of
sperits, for the tex says: “He played
on a harp of a thousand strings, sper-
its of jest men made perfeck." And
thar’s a great many kinds of fire in the
world. In the fuss place thar’s the
common sort of fire, and then there’s
foxfire, and camphire, fire before you
are ready and fire and fall back and
many other kinds of fire, for the tex
says, “He played on a harp of a thou
sand strings, sperits of jest men made
perfeck."
But I’ll tell you of the kind of fire
as is spoken of in the Bible, my breth
ering, is Hell Fire! and that’s the kind
of fire as a great many of you’ll come
to ef you don’t do better nor what
you have been doin’—for "He played
on a harp of a thousard strings, sper
its of just men made perfeck." “And
that's the kind of fire you can’t dodge,
my brethering, ah, for it’s the fire
that won’t be quenched. You may fly
to the mountains of Hapsldan, where
the woodbine twlneth and the lion
roareth, and the whangdoodle mourn
eth for its first born, but you can’t hide
from this unquenchable fire, for it is
the fire of hell and damnation, ah!
And he played on'a harp of a thou
sand strings—sperits of jest men made
perfeck."
Now, as there are many kinds, of
sperits and many kinds of fire, ah!
in the world, ah!, Jest so -there are
many kinds of Christians, ah! In the
fuss place we have the Plscopallans,
and they are a high-sailin’, high-roost
in’, hifalutin set, ah! and they may be
likened unto a turkey buzzard that
flies up into the air, ah! and he goes
up, and up7 and up, till he looks no
bigger than your finger nail, and the
fust thing you know, he comes down,
and down, and down, end goes to fillin’
hisself on the carkiss of a dead hoss
by the side of the road, ah! and “He
played on a harp of a thousand strings,
sperits of jest men made perfeck.”
And thar is the Presbyterians, my
brethering, with their long frock coats
and high shirt collars and dismal
swamp faces, but they hever cleared
no new ground nor burnt no Hresh nor
deadened no timber, nor killed no bars.
They always waits for us hard shells
to do that and settle up the wilderness
and then they will slip In and go to
plantin’ and put on heavenly airs and
claim to' bo the only people that are
elected and shore of eternal salvation
—and they play on a harp of a thorn
sfind strings—sperits of Jest men made
perfeck.
And then, my brethering, thar’s the
Baptists, ah! And they have, been
likened to a ’possum on a simmon
tree, and the thunders may roll and
the earth may quake, and the Hons
roar and the whangdoodle mourn, but
the ’possum clings thar still, ah! And
you may shake one foot loose and the
other’s thar and you may shake all
feel loose, and he laps his tall around
the limb, and he clings and he clings
urever, ah! for “He played on a harp
of a thousand strings, sperits of jest
men made perfeck.”—Bill Arp, in At
lanta Constitution.
GEORGIA.
Brief Summary of Doings
Throughout the State.
Question it Yea or Nay.
To take or not to take a Carnegie
library is now the question of the hbur
in Columbus. Mr. Carnegie has offered
the city library, and while indica
tions rather point to the acceptance of
the gift sentiment on the point is by
no means unanimous. Labor unions
of the city are oppasing the project.
• * *
Sanford to Assist Merritt. .
S. V. Sanford, of Marietta, has been
appointed by W. B. Merritt, nominee
for state school commissioner, as his
assistant. He will, after January 1,
1003, perform the duties of clerk in the
department of education.
Mr. Sanford was a strong supporter
of Merritt In the race for school com
missioner, and besides the two men
have been friends for years.
-• • *
Bolt 8trikes Mother and Daughter.
A heavy rain fell at Lithonia Satur
day, accompanied by lightning and
thunder.
At Collinsville, a'suburb, the family
of G. W. Guinn, a farmer, were just
finishing thei^r dinner when Mrs. Guinn
stepped to the back veranda tor a
drink of water. A stroke of lightning
killed her instantly, leaving not a
mark upon her person. A sixteen-
year-old daughter, who was standing
near the open door, was felled by the
same stroke, and 1s fatally injured.
• • •
Dates of Colored Conferences.
Bishop H. M. Turner, by agreement
of thfe presiding elders’ council which
adjourned at Atlanta last Friday, gives
out the following dates for the Geor
gia African M. E. conferences of 1902:
Southwest Georgia conference, Blake
ly, November 6; North Georgia confer
ence, Cartersville, November 12; Ma
con conference, Augusta, November
19; Atlanta conference, Covington, De
cember 3, and Georgia conference at
Eastman, December 10.
• • •
JHill Receives Congratulations.
Hon. Hiram Warner Hill, who was
the active campaign manager for Hon.
Joseph M. Terrell In his successful
campaign for governor, which has just
closed, has received a flood of congrat
ulations, many of them by wire, from
different parts of the state, congratus
latlng him upon the admirable manner
in which he bandied Mr. Terrell’s race,
and in not a few of them has come
the suggestion that he should become
the next chairman of the state demo
cratic executive committee.
* * * •
Reunion of Seventh Georgia.
The Seventh Georgia Confederate
veterans, familiarly known during the
war as the "Bloody Seventh,” has ar
ranged plans for Its reunion in Vir
ginia, to take place about the middle
of July. This regiment was, at the be
ginning of the war, a regiment of knee-
punts boys. None of the men were
over 21, not even the colonel, but they
proved -themselves worthy foes
more than one hard-fought field.
The regiment will visit a great many
brttle fields upon which they once
faced shot and shell. The Itinerary
will Include Manassas, Alexandria,
Fredericksburg, Richmond, Petersburg
end Washington.
NEL80N APPEAL8 TO ALMIGHTY.
Exclaims In 8enate: "God Deliver
Ua From Trusts.”
After transacting some routine busi
ness and discussing for a time the bill
to relieve shippers from the London
dock charges, during which Mr. Nel
son, of Minnesota, exclaimed, “God
deliver us from trusts," the senate,
Baturilay, resumed consideration of
the itsthmian canal project.
The Gpeene-Gaynor Case.
A special from Quebec says: The
Greene-Gaynor case was again In court
Saturday. Mr. L. McMaster, for the
prosecution, began bis argument in
support of his motion to quash the
writs of habeas corpus.
cal and experimental laboratories In i
style which will compare favorably
with inany of the college laboratories
in the country.
President Hall Is particularly anx
ious to get the remainder of the money
as soon as possible in order to begin
work on the laboratories befQre It It
too late to have them ready for the fall
term.
• * •
The Official Vote For Governor.
The official vote for governor ir
the coming state convention on July J
has been confirmed and stands as fol
lows:
Joseph M. Terrell, 196; J. H. Estlll,
86; Dupont Guerry, 68.
In the foregoing there is only on«
change from the figures first published
Terrell secured the vote of Greene
county, which was given to Estlll
while Estlll carried Taliaferro, which
appeared in the Terrell column. While
this does not change the figures, twe
more votes are given to Guerry, be
cause in the first report Forsyth wae
credited with only two votes, whereat
it should have been given four.
in will be seen from the foregoing
figures that Mr. Terrell has twenty
more votes than enough to nominate
on the first ballot. Mr. Terrell carried
seventy-nine counties, Colonel Estill
thirty-five counties and Mr. Guerry
twenty-three.
One of the most remarkable races of
the campaign was made by Colonel O.
B. Stevens for re-election as commis
sioner. Colonel Stevens will have 340
votes in the convention, as against 10
for his opponent, Colonel R. T. Nesbitt
Seldom in the history of the state has
such a sweeping victory, been recorded.
W. B. Merritt will go into the con
vention with at least 220 votes, as
against 130 tor both his opponents
combined, while Hon. Thomas Eason
will have even a larger vote for prison
commissioner. The whole question has*
bepn settled now and there remains
only the formality of an election in the
fall.
The state convention will meet in
Atlanta July 2, for the purpose of mak
ing the formal nominations. Owing to
the large majorities which the winning
candidates have, the nominations will
no doubt be made unanimous in every
particular. -
The general election will occur on
the first Wednesday In October, at
which time the nominees will be voted
for.
Congressman Fleming, of the tenth
district, ha‘i conceded that T. William
Hardwick, of Washington defeated
him for congress. The election of
Hardwick was a big surprise to the
people of Georgia, as for a while
things looked decidedly blue for him.
So far there have been no charges of
fraud at any of the election places in
the counties, though the Augusta Her
ald says that money was freely scat
tered in Augusta.
• • •
Census Report on Georgia Farms.
The bulletin on the agricultural in
terests of Georgia, soon to be given out
by the director of the census at Wash-
ton, contains some very interesting
facts about farms and farm properties
in the state. Georgia has a total land
area of 68,690 square miles, or 37,747,-
200 acres, of which a fraction less than
70 per cent are Included In farms.
From the census returns it is shown
than the farms of Georgia June 1,1900,
numbered 224,691, and were valued at
3183,370.120. Of this amount, 344,864,-
690, or 24.6 per cent, represents tho
value of buildings, and 3138,616,430, or
75.5 per cent, the value of land and im
provements ether than buildings. On
the same date the value of farm Imple
ments and machinery was 39,804,010
and of live stock 335,200,507. These
values added to that of farms gives the
total value of farm property. For
Georgia this value in 1900 was 3228,-
374,G37.
It Is shown that but 111-2 per cent
of the colored farmers own the farms
which they operate and the value of
MANY THOUSAND OUT
Miner? in th3 Two Virginias
Obey Mitchell's Order.
DROP PICKS WITH UNANIMITY
President Roosevelt Refuses to Act as
Mediator—Fight Will be to a
Finish, Declares
Mitchell.
A special from Hazleton, Pa., says:
Riot proclamations were posted late
Friday afternoon everywhere on the
property of the Loerlng Valley Coal
Company at Yorktown. A special train
with steam up Ib at Roan junction
ready to carry a car load of officers to
any part of the district.
lit Wet* Virginia.
The strike of the soft coal miners
in West Virginia for higher wages,
which is to be Inaugurated will be di
rected by President Mitchell from
Wilkesbarre. He said there are 20,000
men In that field; that 18,000 will Btop
work at once and that he expects
the others will all be put out in the
course of a few days.
Mr. Mitchell positively and unequiv
ocally denied to the Associated Press
correspondent all knowledge of any
negotiations for peace. So far as he
knows, he said, neither the Civic Fed
eration nor any other'organization or
individual is at present negotiating
for a settlement of the anthracite
strike.
"Everything Is off,” be said.
Will Not Interfere.
A Washington special says: After a
conference with the members of his
cabinet Friday President Roosevelt de
cided that there Is no legal ground for
Interference by him in the settlement
of the dispute between the coal opera
tors and striking miners. The resolu
tions of the New York board of trade
and transportation, requesting the
president to appoint a commissioner
to visit the anthracite regions and in
vestigate the situation, were discussed
at great length, but as the law of 1892,
which conferred authority upon -the
president to appoint such officer, has
been repealed, the president has no
desire to assume the responsibility
which the New York board of trade
suggested.
Governor Candler in Washington,
Governor Candler has been taking in
the sights at the National Capital. The
following dispatch tells of his risit:
Washington, June 7.—Governor Can
dler arrived in the city this morning
and is a guest at the Metropolitan ho
tel, where he made his residence dur
ing the eight years of his service in
congress. The governor has come to i their holdings constitutes only about
Washington on personal business to ! one-thirtieth of the total value of farm
get a little rest. One of bis sons re- j property of tho state. < The average
cently graduated in law here and he j size of farms of negroes Is 66 acres,
has many friends in Washington who as compared with 147 acres of the
LUMBER MILL8 BURNED.
Large Plant of Bailey A Co., at Mc
Donald, Ga., in Ashes.
The'little town of McDonald, Ga., on
the Brunswick and Western railway,
twenty miles from Waycross, was al
most completely wiped out and J. S.
Bailey & Co.’s saw mill destroyed by
fire Friday afternoon. The mill was
probably the largest lq south Georgia,
employing 300 men. Fire consumed
the mill, planing plant, dry kiln, shops,
one locomotive, seven cars of lumber,
eight small dwelling bouses, and a mil
lion apd a half feet of lumber. The
large commissary was saved. The
plant was well equipped with fire fight
ing apparatus, but the flames spread
over the whole mill yard, covering 20
acres, In a few minutes. With ene
mad rush of flame the saw mill was
consumed. A low estimate of the loss
is 376,000, Insurance 318,000. The lum
ber burned waB valued at 320,000.
will help him have a pleasant time dur
ing his stay. Ho lunched with Sena
tor Clay at the capttol and was warmly
welcomed by all the members of the
Georgia delegation. Incidentally he
was called upon to tell all about the
ejection, which he did, with not a lit
tle satisfaction to himself and to bis
hearers.
• • •
Spencer Donates to Tech.
President Lyman Hall, of the Geor
gia Scihool of Technology, has received
a letter from President Samuel Spen
cer, of the Southern road, informing
him of the fact that he would be g’ad
to contribute 31.000 to the school, pro
vlded the remaining 39,000 necessary
to secure the 310,000 donation from ths
general education board could be se
cured.
With Mr. Spencer’s subscription oi
31,000 the Tech now has only a little
over 32,000 to raise In order to secure
the 310.000 from the general educ
tion board and thus equip the electri
white farmers.
GRAND EDUCATIONAL RALLY.
Important Gathering Called to Meet In
Montgomery, Ala.
Rev. Edgar Gardner Murphy, execu
tive secretary of tho southern educa
tional board, has called a grand educa
tional mass meeting to assemble in
Montgomery, Ala., on May 28. The
purpose is to roimally inaugurate the
campaign of the board in Alabama,
and it will be pushed vigorously from
that time. 'I
MARTINIQUE NEGROES REJOICE.
They Hold Orgies Because All the
Whites are Dead on the Island.
Letters arriving in London describe
the negroes of the Island of Martinique
as holding orgies because the whites
are all dead. The negroes say they
have elected a negro governor, who
countenances all excesses.
LYNCH’8 PREDICAMENT.
Fought With Boers and Now Wants
to Take 8eat In Parliament.
According to a London news agency.
Colonel Arthur Lynch, who fought
with the Boers In South Africa, was
elected In November last to represent
Galway in the house of commons, and
who, It was announced, In a dispatch
to the Associated Press, had decided
to go to London and attempt to take
his seat In the house, will not be al
lowed to carry out bis intention. He
will be arrested, it Is said, on the
charge of treason immediately after
landing in England. A sharp watch Is
being kept for Colonel Lynch, and If
he reaches Westminster It will be by
strategem.
P08TMASTER UNDER CHARGES.
David Baldwin Resigns New Orleans
Office by Request.
David G. Baldwin, postmaster of
New Orleans, has tendered his resig
nation SB-a-regult"of a serious disa
greement with the postofflee depart
ment at Washington.
The letter carriers filed • charges
against the postmaster, alleging that
he had demoralized the working force
cf the office, and had shown favorit
ism In making promotions.
It was also alleged that Mr. Baldwin
has been loaning money to letter car
riers through his brother at usurious
Tates of Interest