Southern enterprise. (Thomasville, Ga.) 1865-1866, September 20, 1865, Image 1

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SOUTHERN ENTERPRISE, LUCIUS C- BRYAN, Editor & Proprietor. VOL. V. ®[}c Sontluru Enterprise • -+♦ ♦ * .-r* Thomasville, Georgia. WKONKMDAV) iKPr. 40. IN6I. SUBSCRIPTION TERMS. / . —o ;■ The “Southern Ehtrrpri**” is publish ed weekly at. Four Dollabb pet annum, strictly IN AOVANCR. ■ •<- o- ADVERTISING TERMS. Advertisements will be inserted for one dollar per square of twelve lines or less for each insertion. From this rate a dis count of twKNTT-rivE per cent will be made for advertisements inserted for three months or under six months, and riFTv.per cent for twelve months or more. All ad- Tertisements sent to the office must be marked with the number of insertions de. aired or the period to be published, and in evry instance accompanied with the amount required for payment. Marriages and will hereafter be charged for as ad vestisements. Special or editorial notices will be published and charged at double the aliOT© rates. Payment for subscriptions must be made in current funds. Rem ittances may be made by Etpress at our risk All others must be at the rist of those making the same. Subscribers names will bedroped from the list at the end of the term for which the subscription has been paid, un lo-s renewed, All communications should be addressed t o Proprietor■ Southern Enter prsf, Tkomawillc Georgia. ‘ , f For the Southern Enterprise.} There is a great deal of pungent literature locked tip in notices, adver ttisoaents, &c M which are found stick ring up on taverns, piazzas, club hous** * Os, cross roads, groceries, pine trees, ♦etc., etc. The following is a speci inienfc that can’t be beat; . *. • • . • . . . XoTiS. “ We the ondefsined lias kild ah old ♦raiscbevcous brown stra kreoter, pur iportin to be Long to some Non-resad* ented inhabitant of this Townsbipp, which we judged the game to be a tieWsanee ! all persons consumed in said Kreetur or Otherwise, is hereby Notyfide to govern themselvs Acker dingly. Witness our return hereon Indorsed/* . * . / ’ In these transition . times of the South when almost •every one is turn*. J ing his mind toward some, method of making a living, or a fortune by. any means which promises to be profitable •other than by farming .with free labor, tfche following may be of service ■: “ Short Cut to. fortune** • M A Fortune!! .The undersigned, o® receipt of One Dollar, will forward to any address a Resipe* by which anyf enterprising man may make a speedy FortuKe.’ The undersigned makes from fifteen to fifty dollars a week.— Address William de Vere. Through Pott's Dispatch Office. : may 12—U * 475.” “ That looks kiuder sensible arter all,*’ said. Mr. Epbe Grunter, the fan flier, as in an interval ol rest from purchasers, he leaned against his mar** kefc wagon, and read over the above advertisement in a morning paper.— * “ Le’ss see, he aint goin’ to charge but a dollar, an’ sezes as how he makes fif teen to fifty a week out on it. Le’ss seo !” and here Mr. Grunter drew out the stump of a lead pencil from some * distant corner of his waistcoat pocket, the action causing him to writhe round Tike a bull-tarrier with a wasp on his back, and moistening the end of the pencil, he at once proceeded, on one edge of the newspaper, to the follow* ing calouiations : 52 .52 15 50 * 260 $2600 ■ 52. ■ ■ . - * •% S7BO fßy which he proved that any enter 1 man might make either S7BO , or §£soo a year, THOMASVILLE, GEORGIA, WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 20, 1865. “ Some differens’, by Gosh! thought he, howsoniever, perhaps the feller aint so enierprizin’. some weeks as oth ers ; guess that’s wet makes the eggs run so different, like. .Now wot if I. should >ehd that • feller-^-wot’s. his name? Oh yez, Dev very, a dollar —■ wfli! that’s four pound of batter, hjit then, again, I kclkillate on get tin’ a mighty sight more r n I give. How they would sfan’ round in Tubtown when they see me with a fortin’!— Wonder if ole man Price's darter would be as snaptious at a feller, knowin’ that he had a big fortin’! I ka kellate I’d rather take down that Jim Morris, with all his eternal dash** ed fine store close, and perliteness, cut his spurs off! and —yes, the p’ison cuss, I’ll giv a doller to this here newspaper feller, cf its only to git a fortin’ and spite that ar Jim Morris, the stuck up jackass of a -store keep er !’• Here Mr. Grunter’s meditations were interrupted by the voice of a woman asking : ‘ How d’ye sell egirs?’ To which he answered : 1 Two bits a duzziu,mam !’ and in similar converse the morning passed. Lulls however, took place in the storm of selling, and Mr. Grunter improved these in reflec; ting over the correct wording of a note to the feller as was going to give him a ‘fortin’ for a doller.’ He thought of commencing it in the orthodox way, ‘I now take my pen in handbut at ouce he dropped that, ‘coz it looked alt’gether too perlite to a feller who wants to sell suinthin !’. Then of burst ing out:: ‘Here, ole feller, here’s a dol ler, send a long all you've got ter say bout making that fortin’. But this was too familliar, and Mr. Grunter eoujd’nt afford familiarity with a news m paper feller. It was not, however, till lie had sold out in market, and stepped over to the Tavern, and sat down to. the table with a sheet of pa per, pens, ink and wafers before him that the “immunity’’;of writing a let*, ter really overcome him. He could’ht summon up words ; his brains were as destitute- of . thoughts as a hen is cf hair.. In the intensity of liis perplex ity he let his head fall on; his’ breast,, rammed his hands into his pantaloons pockets, and .straightened out his legs. His hand sundenly touched his pocket book, and instantly a spark of intelli gence . was oomlnunicated, from the positive contents, of that book,, to the negative contents of his head, and the electricity escaped on the sheet of pat per,.to wit':. “ Sir—You say. you can set a feller to maken a. fortin for a doller. Grind on, I’m a lissenln’! You say you ean maifc from - fifteen to fifty doilers a weak ; now I want to make fifty dol** lers a weak. Rite all the smallest kind ov perticlers so as how their caunt be do kind o’, mistakes, at the Green bull tavern is whair You may send a An swer, to, whitch i hoap will be right speedily, as i cum to town next weak i send you inside a doller noat now mind you act plain and skware with Yours till i heer from you, E. GRUNTER. Green bull tavern Juin 12, 18—.” The ‘doller noat’ inclosed by Mr. Grunter was on a wild cat bank, bro ken and “busted up” so high, the crows could’nt fly to it ! at least, so they had told him at the tavern, when he went to pay his bill with it, and Mr. Grunter, who did’nt relish the idea of being “stuck” with it, determined tQ stick the newspaper feller * with it. This it was, had occasioned the elec tric excitement before mentioned. Leaving explicit directions at the tavern to carefully keep for him any letter that might be sent him, until he come to town next market day.— Mr. Grunter got into his wagon and was soon driving along the road at a briks rate for his farm. Contrary to his usual custom, he did not lie down in the straw on the bottom of his wag on, and go to sleep, or rather doze, opening an eye a louder rattling than usual warned him that some body coining j but he eat up in his seat ard whisked the lashess whip, jerked the reins so that his o!d horse thought his head was coming off, and kept up such a devil of-a thinking generally, looking inwards, that his eyes were of no more use to him than corn to a weather eock. • Mr. Grunter affirms that the inter val between the time he wrote that letter and received the answer, was ‘just the most jollyiesfc time he ever knew/ He says during that time ‘he bought rnorc’n fifty farms, big and lit tle ; got the greatest kind of a lot of stock, built the switcbingest great barn j got elected Senator, went to Congress, had three fights ; and ’bout the day he had to go to market again, there was some talk ’bout making him Presidents All this did Mr. Grun ter go through—in imagination ! Next market day Mr. Grunter found, on his arrival at the Green bull tavern, a letter directed to him, which he nervously opened and read : “Mr. E, Guumer ;. . Dear Sir, Your letter of twelfth of this month.is to hand, aud according to promise, as per newspaper, I send you a Recipe by which any enterpris ing man can make a fortune. Only be enterprising, and in this communi ty you will be sure to be prosperous and happy f* • . “soap, : : Go buy a large tin kittle and a long n-ife and go nocking round at all the back gates assiduously* Pei haps some of them will cuss you, but don’t be put back. Go ahead!—enterprise is sure to prosper. Bymeby you’ll get fat—soap fat l then more fat, and fat, till you get big enough to boil up into soap with lye and other ingredients, as per receipt given in soap making books. It’s father tedious work in summer, and aint quite so perfumed like as it might be, still a enterprising man don’t mind that. Hoping you’ll be gratified, and mak# your “fifty dollars a week, .. lam yours,. WILLIAM DEVER. .P.'S /My pardner. being absent to the races I write the letter in his ab sence, which-will account for the dif ferent handwriting from the word soap down to this.. The way I maik from 615 t 0.550 a week is by selling of this-receipt / Go it fcnargy \ It was well for Mr. William De V r ere’s cr Deveris’ health, that Mr. E. Guniter bad’nt him within arms reach at the time the latter finished reading this letter; Mr. fDevere would have been severely exercised \ as it was, if was some consolation for Mr. Gunter that the dollar noat’ any how, was on ly a dod>rotted, broken-bank thing.— But even this peg was broken off by the Clerk of the Green Bull Tavern, tflo told Mr* Gunter that the dollar note he offered last week was-a good one; he had made a mistake in sup posing it was one of a bank of similar name, but in a different State which had failed. Mr. Gunter is cured of answering any more such advertisements• his eyes are open to the fallacy of making a speedy fortune for one dollar, via Soap fat! He's traveling, the long and steady agricultural road, and here after intends avoiding u all short cuts to fortune.” At a session of the Tennessee An nual Conference held at Nashville some years ago, Gen. Jackson had been invited, by a vote ot the breth ren, that they might have an introduce tion to him. The committee was appointed, and the General fixed the time for nine o’clock on Monday morning. The Conference room being too small to accommodate the hundreds who wish, ed to witness the introduction, one of the churohes was substituted, and an hour before the time, filled to over** • * V ‘* V J flowing. . Front seats were reserved for the< members of the Conference, which was called to order by the. Bish op. seated in a large chair in the front of the altar, just before the pulpit.—- After prayer, the committee retired, and a minute after entered conducting the man whom all delighted to honor. They led him up to the Bishop’s chair which was made vacant for him, the Bishop meanwhile occupying another place within the altar. The Secretary was directed to call the names of the members of the Conference, which he did in. alphabetical order, each coming forward and receiving from the Bishop a personal introduction to the Ex-President, and immediately retiring to give place to another. The ceremony had been nearly completed. The Secretary read the name of Rev. J. T ——, an elderly gentleman, with a weather-beaten face, clad with a suit of jeans, arose and came forward.— Few seemed to know him. He had always been on circuit on the frontier ; and though always at Conference, he nevor troubled it with long speeches, but kept his seat and said but little, therefore, wan always to the purpose. Mr. T—— came forward, and was in troduced to General Jackson. He turned his face toward the General, who said : “It seems to me tliot we have met before.” The preacher, apparently embarrassed, said, “I: was with you through the Creek campaign, one of your body guard ad the battle of Horse Shoe, and fought under your command at New Orleans.” The General rose slowly from his scat, and’ throwing his long, withered, bony arms around the preacher’s neck, exclaimed ; “Weil soon meet where there is no war; where the smoke of battle never rolls up its sulphurious incense.” “Never before or since,” says an eye-witness, “have I seen as many tears shed as there flowed from the eves of that . vast .assembly, The old hero and the old preacher have both fought their last battle, and laid their armor by, and gone to that eternal rest,” And with both ‘it is well/ There was once upon a time a rath er hard case., in a town which shall be nameless, in the State of Georgia, who had been under discipline iii the Methodist Church, but into whose fold lie had again applied for admis sion. . His. appeal was argued in the following language by an ardent and forgiving brother: “Let us try him once more, brethering”. said he; “I know he has fell from from grace onc’fc or twice’t; I know he has back-slid ah more times than he’s got fingers and toes-ali; I know he has been a Icetle inconsistent-ah ; and they do say that he has ——- But’ its’ no use’t to dwell on these pints now ah. He has repented, and he wants to come backah, and to be and to do good-ah ! Let us try him, brethering, once more. Sometimes the wust men makes the best Christians. Let us re member the parable of the barren fig treeah ; let us dig about him, and dung him, and see if he don’t come out greener than everoah !” This last argument settled the scape graces ad mission. . . The ayes had it. . . . \ * # ’ An enraged parent bad jerked his provoking son across his knee, and was operating on the exposed portion of the unchin’s person with great ve hemence, when the young one dug in* to the parental leg with hie venomous little teeth. “Blazes ! what are you biting me for ?” “Well, who begin ned this ’ere war?’* ■ ■ The New Jersey Democratic State Convention, which met on Wednes day, nominated Gen, Theodore Run yon for Governor. The Convention declared, most emphatically, against negro auffrage. TEEMS $4,00 A Year, in Advance. o€atb*bcd SceneN. f 3Tiie rich carding) Beaufort said : “And must I die 1 Will not all riebts save me? I eould purchase the kingdom, if that would prolong my life. Alas! there is no bribing death/'. An English nobleman said: “I have a splendid passage to the grave ‘ li die in state and languish under % gjiilded canopy ; lam expiring on soft and dowuy pillows, and respect’ foUy attended by my servants and physicians ; my dependents sigh ; my sisters Weep \ my father bends be* neath a load of grief and years ; my lovely wife, pale and silent, conceals her inmost anguish ; my friend, who. was as my own soul, suppresses his sighs* and l&tves me to hide his se cret griefs. O ! which of them will bail me from the arrest of death ? Who can descend into the dark pris* on of the grave with me ? Hero they will leave me after having paid a few idle ceremonies to the breathless clay which may lie reposed in stato, while my soul, my only conscious part may stand • trembli n g before the • Judge/’ The celebrated Talleyrand on his death'bed, was visited by Louis I'fiil lippe, King of the French, “How do you feel V ’ said the King. The answer was, “Sir* I am suffering the pangs of the damned/’ Sir Thomas Scott said : “Until this moment I. believed there was neither a God nor a hell, Now. I j know and feel that there are both, and that:l-am doomed to perdition-by the just judgment of the Almighty/ [ A rich man, when dying, was in formed by bis physician that he sho’d prepare for the worst. “Cannot I live for a week ?” “No,” said the doctor, “you will probably continue for a little while.’* “Say not so,” said the. dying man* “I will give., you a hundred- thousand dollars it you will prolong my life three days, but in less than an hour be was dead/’ Biabop Burnett, once preaching be fore Charles 11., was much warmed by his subject, and, uttering a religious truth in a very earnest manner, with great vehemence struck his clenched hand on the desk, and cried:: “Who dares deny this ?” “Faith,” exclaimed the king, in a key not quite so large, as the preacher, “nobody, I should think, who is with* in reach of that great fist of yours.” An Irish judge tried two most no* torious fellows for highway, robbery.— To the astonishment of the Court, as well as the prisoners themselves, they were found not guilty. As they were removed from the bar, the Judge, ad-* dressing the jailor,, said “Mr. Mur phy, you would greatly.ease my mind if you would kgep those two respect* able gentlemen* until seven or halt past seven o'clock, for I mean to set out for Dublin at five, and I should like to have at? least two hours start of them/’ Another Rebellion In Chinn the Capital in Danger. The latest advices from China are dated Shanghai, June 22d. A rebel lion, known as the “ Nienfel rebel lion,'’is spreading r rapidly, the latest report being that the city of Chu sou Hsien, remarkable as being the birth place of has been captured and sacked. The rebels have taken, up a strong position in the neighbor hood of Paoting-fo, an important city lying about one hundred miles to the southwest of Pekin, endangering its safety. The authorities of the city have applied for British military oflb Cers. Colonel Burgevine is in custody of the Mandarians at Foochow, who re& fuses to comply with the demands of the American Consul for his release. Seven thousand Chinese troops have embarked at Shanghai for Tientsin, to operate against Nienfel. . NO. I*2.