Thomasville times-enterprise and South Georgia progress. (Thomasville, Ga.) 1904-1905, October 07, 1904, Image 8
TIMES-BNTERPR1SH, TH0MA8V1L LE, OCTOB : 7, 1904. Sioldenhurst _„ .. , Walter b'l'oomfield W5. — - ' CopjTl.ll. .« l-V I %i' CHAPTER XXXI. 0. ^ / Continued. ’ “So I thought," NAirl linclc Sam; “but”—breaking off suddenly and pur suing another line of thought—“niar- riage Is the most discussed yet least understood of human Institutions. Though women so greatly outnumber men, good wires nro ns scarce ns good husbands. Of course nothing ct terbnlance the want of good personal qualities in either husband or wife, but there can. bn.no matrimonial par who is unfurnished with dollars, member In nty salad days, soon after , I settled In this country, Van Reuse lacr and I once amused oarseltoa by making some Investigations ns to tbo condition of tbe marriage market. | ‘'What do you mean, Sam?” naked aunt Gertrude, looking up from her work. , “About twenty years ago,” continued my uncle, "there lived in ltlvlngton street, New York, a matrimonial agent who used to advortlae In the dally papers thst he was prepared to supply WlVes of every desirable quality to "gentlemen of unblemished honor and respectable means, while of course hie usefulness to ladles weary of sin gle blessedness wss equally great. To this professor’s office Van Rensselaer and I one day betook ourselves, and each planked down a fee of ?3, which the agent, With a grateful smile, made haste to appropriate.” “What Induced you to bo so foolish':'' asked my aonb . “Sport, my dear Gertie, sport; noth ing more, I assure you,” said uncle Sam. “Well, what sport could you find In giving your money to n cheat!” , “Very much; my ?5 were well In vested. Admission to the agent’s office alone was worth the tee. Hal lia! I remember the place to this day,” and uncle Sam reclined Ills head on tin back of bis cbalr and cbucklcd. "What was the place like?" I In qulrcd. [ “It Wns n fnlrly well-furnished office,” said uncle Sam. “Tho walls wore covered with shelves, on which stood letter cases and japanned tin "bores. In a corner of the office, on an elevated platform, a bald-hcndea old fraud of nbout sixty, tho proprietor of the place, sat at a desk plentifully spread with ledgers. Packets of let ters, held together by rubber hnnds, and piles of photographs, lay about In confusion, while close to the door stood a largo table strewn with writing ma terials and printed forma whereon cli ent* might concisely state their quallg ficatlous and requirements.'' » “Did the agent show you any of tho photographs!” asked Constance. , "Dozens of them. One lady In par ticular I remember be recommended a» a very suitable wife for me, hi* rec ommendation being based chiefly on the fact that she ufns an English ' woman, who, having passed tbe tint blush of her youth (n statement which nobody who glanced at her photograph would for n moment question), wns free of the frivolities which uoually accompany girlhood, and having been far ooma years s member of tbe Don- don music-hall profession, she was nn 'accomplished vocalist, wbo could dl- Vert my lelsuro with charming songs of an amusing character, many of them unknown to the best musicians. These qualities, tbs agent argued, more then compensated for the lady's tack of property-" r “Was that all the old man told you about her!” 1 inquired. ”1 think It was,” replied unde Sam. “But I wrote to her the next day un der the assumed name of Holdenhurat, and a day or so afterward* received her reply, dated from the Bowery, 'couched In orthography which I had not previously met with. One of her statements—that her dear pa had been killed tome years before by a tall from a scaffold In the Old Bailey—Impfessed me as a very pleasant way of describ ing an unpleasant fact.” ■ At this point I Interrupted unde Sam with my Immoderate laughter, much to the surprise of sunt Gertrude and Coutencsr who, being Imperfectly ac quainted with London, perceived noth ing to laugh at • “How about Hr. Van Rensselaer!'’ asked Constance, when my paroxysm of laughter had subsided sufficiently for her voice to be heard. “Did the agent recommend any of hit clients as a suitable wife for that ugly old Dutch man?" • “Gently, Connie: please. Martin Van Rensselaer waa a capital fellow, ae good % Judge of a railroad as was the Great Commodore himself; and hi* ad vice waa alwaya sound In matters where he was not personally Inter ested. Poor old Martin Is now beyond the veil sgahut which I have been blinding beating.” "Vos. 1 know." persisted Constance; “but you have not answered my ques tion. Did the agent recommend a wife for your friend at he did for yon? If fo. i w.-iild.llke to bear about her.” “I'm afraid I can't oblige you In that. Con; Inn of course the agent made a ri-e.iinniendatlon. It was Mf badness to (11 ro to everybody wbo consulted him.' wife by fiby sueli means ns that, I am sure,” said aunt Gertrude. "So am I,” milled uncle Sam. “Do you think, Sam, aDy marriage wns ever brought about by aucb horrid methods!" my aunt Inquired. “Without doubt, abundance of then),'' replied liiiele Bnnl, unhesitatingly. "Nothing that was ever said It more true than that humnbklnd hno mostly fools. And It lb well that such Is tho ease. Were it otherwise, ffietl prob ably, though uo i.ite would starve, no body would bo able to live well. It In tbo follies of his fellow-creatures that a sharp man finds his chances of aggrandizement The matrimonial agent of ltlvlngton street transgressed 'no law that I know of, or that I would enact were I Invested with the attri butes of Solon. He merely preyed upon fools-a perfectly legitimate process, sanctioned by tbo doctrine of the sur vival of tho Attest. Pass me the cigar- case, Gertie, dear.' 1 "Were you nnd your friends fools when you visited that office In Rlv Ingtou street!” inquired Connie, With a- mischievous smile, "Unquestlonahly we were,” admitted Uncle Bam, with charming frankness, “nnd on mnny other occasions besides," “Nothing can ever lnduco mo to be lieve that It Is right to uso superior natural gifts or knowledge to entrap tho inexporteneed and unwary,” sold my aunt. ■Tower Is Its own Justification. That which n man can do he may do.” "That Is not right,” assorted aunt Gertrude boldly. Nothing Is right, nor likely to be, 1 agreed uncle Sam. CHAPTER' XXXII. • KUnEXA. What le tlmo? The past has gone nnd cannot bo recalled; the present Is hare, bat Imperfectly under car con trol; tho future no man knows, there another subjoct which mankind regards In ways so numerous and dl- verso ns time, the most generic and Indefinite of terms? Only for tbe mis erable wretch condemned to die on an nppolnted day do tho fleeting hour* ex pire with maddening rapidity; to the sufferer from any other form of torture they drag their course with most ex asperating slowness. It Is tbs privilege of the perfectly happy (If Indeed there be any such) and tbe perfectly foolish (of whom everyone must sorely know sbnndsnt examples) to disregard tlmo. Tbe week which elapsed between our return to New York and my marriage to Constance seemed to me of super- naturally long duration.' Love Is Im patient, and dressmakers and milliner* monopolizing. Though living In tbe same bonze si my affianced wife, I now taw very Uttlo of ber; the was nearly always engaged In being meas ured, or fitted, or experimented upon la tome way by a contingent of French modistes, wbo camt every day to tbt bouse and disorganised all its cus tomary arrangements. Of tbe numer ous dresses bclngpropsrcd for my wife, though I bad beard a good detl about them, I was not for tbs prssent per mitted to see one; but I would bare endured thst privation without mur muring If tbe companionship of my dear Constance bad been spared to me. However, all things come to those wbo wait—unless death comet lint and capture* tbe waUtts, In which case.tbe latter escape from tbelr wants. Man's comfort It not more dependent upon events than upon tbelr conrentent quence, a course often difficult to cure. At list tbe wedding morning, came and I waa almost happy, Ah, that word almost! Has tbe man yet ltved of whom It can be truthfully said that be was quit* happy! Long and varied experience makes me donbt It. With health, youth and strength; 1100,000 to my credit at DrexeTe; and a beautiful girl, magnificently dowered, for my wife; for what more could I wish, you ntk. Why, for my father’s presence this day, and hi* approval of the life long contract I was about to make. 8omehow I could not keep from think ing of my father bn this my wedding morning; and as l watted with uncle Sam and a small party of his friends in the Presbyterian Church on Fifth avenue, where the ceremony was to take place, the old church at Holden- hurst, Its unlikeness to tht sacred building wherein I was, my father’s lonely life now that I had left him, and the probable effect of tbe recent tragedy upon him and my grandfather Woleey, largely engaged my mind, despite all efforts I could mike to disregard them; until the organ, peal ing forth tha soul-stirring strains of Heoddstohnta Wedding March, an nounced tbe arrlvsl of the bridal party, and my dear Constance, almost com pletely hidden In white gossamer-like habiliments and attended by six maids, passed tknrly am the church. * Of th* events between that moment nnd the conclusion of the ceremony, we all left the church, I for a long time retained only a confused and general recollection; but finally tbe particulars of the ceremony took shape In my mind, and now I can clearly recall tbe tell, commanding of the grand old Ulsterman, tho official- ! Ing minister of the church; and my un-1 easy glances at uncle Sam (whom I : had nsver seen in such a place before), ! and my fear lest he should create a ! inversion by some eccentric con-J-ot. j Not tintll after tl:e wedding' party j Was assembled at breakfast did uncle Bam give rein to his usual pleasantry, anti then to no very great extent. I i remember be inquired: across tbe t abTt*, j Whilt my wife and. I.thought of the j reverend gentleman’s bo6tf; j "Think of the reverend gentleman’* . boots!” I echoed in surprise. "Really ! I didn’t observe them. Did youf .Con- j tiier defcr?” ' ot very particularly,^ stammered my wife, Ineffectually endeavoring to /rug DOHA XU SCHOOL, suppress a laugh. ^ fan) „ o{ doIls giieittly "Why, how can you sty that!” asked con{cn , p , a tl„g tbelr young mistress st undo Bam. "Tho reverend doctot „ nnr , e ry tea when Mis. Franehon, wear, tho largest boot* n New ior£ Par „ lan beauty, began ruling her tin many rash WngerorS knout td thelf jog*-fit {fee YtMng-Brave-af-ttae-Wa- cost; ami I Observed ypU botH Intently ' bjujl fcg l n oiriri doll WSS called, contemplating tbelr dlmehslons wlil'.e ' The Yddrig BrSv* returned til” gtauoM he was exHorllng ybu.t® be mindful ^ lth interest, Mi Miss Fsucboti whi* of your new duties. I assure you I Iicrcd; am very glad If I am mistaken, for, "Do you know, flIhldk she seems dis- there-could be no better proof of your eoueolote to-nigbt!” attention to bis precepts.” When tbe dolls said “she,” they al- There was a suppressed titter at tble; , way< mea nt Mary Marcella, tbelr little out sunt Gertrude came to the rescue mistress, so the Young-Brave-of-tbe- and protested against remarks of a ] Wabash looked over at Mary Marcella personal nature generally, and pnrtlcu- 1 an d grunted *» Intelligibly «t a brave larly In the case of a gentleman highly might do. - ' esteemed by all wbo bad tho privilege I "An ntrail’ of tbe heart!” questioned of his acquaintance. Unde Ism agreed, the sentimental German gentleman and declared (hat he bad dot only com- doll, who reclined In nil attitude ef Alimented the minister by asserting, careless ease on tbe hearth tug. In other Words, that lid had a target “He, he, be,” .laughed the Dinah understanding thnB any other man In doll, whose duty It was to sit betide New York. the Infant In long ciotiie*.. - Hevornt of my uncle's friend* tell- Just then -Marcella finished bet (eS tiered tbelr congratulations In the time-j and esmO over to where tbe dolM were honored platitudes wblcb have serve-1 gathered. ” I suppose I must begin on Innumerable similar occasions, alter j packing yon away," she said, looking which uncle Bam rose, and glass In | sadly at the dolls, "for to-morrow will hand, Invited all present to drink to the be tbe last day.” Bbe picked tip Miss health, prosperity and long life of the i Fancbon. tenderly, and . two large, bride anil bridegroom. "For the happy round tears rolled down her cheeks, pair opposite, who with til the courago "Yea,” she continued, “I must pack of Incxpcrienco and In defiance of sages ! you-away forever, for I am going to and satirists have given those hostages ' boarding school, and one is not sup- to Fortune Which to many'ht tw Would *" *‘ fc ‘ like to redeem, 1 entertain n very spe cial nnd real affection,” said uncle Bum. "Tho bride Is the oply sister of my dear wife, and a daughter of my friend and benefactor, I have known her all her life, and I «ay of her, that no truer or more amiable lady can lit found between Maine and California, Sh? was my ward; and my duty to her has. also been mf pleasure from tbe day I became ber guardian tintll you saw me surrender ber to ber husband— and with her an that I held In trust' for her, with something over nnd above. The bridegroom Is tbo only ton of one, wbo, In iny youthful days: in England before I entertained a thonfclit of setting foot on this comment, bad promised to become my wife—a prom ise she was forced to break—and of my only brother, whom I do not expect to tee again. It Is for these reaeons chiefly that I am prejudiced In favor of tho bridegroom—for be Is no genius, and I don’t suppose his unaided efforts would ever have burdened him with much property; be Is a trlUe senti mental, and tacks resolution'and fixity of purpose. Nevertheless he has proved himself a faithful friend and a pupil of at least average aptitude. It It with much pleasure and copfidsnee that I ask yon to Join ms In wishing health, prosperity and long life to Mr. and Mrs, Ernest Truman.” The toast mi drunk with enthus iasm, everybody standing. In my brief reply I unreservedly admitted the accuracy of my node’s estlmati of my powers, and congratulated my- seif on having won not only his good will hut a wife the equal of his own In fortune and every personal grace, notwithstanding tbe natural defects to which ho had c*Ued attention;, a retort which, obvious as it wss, ssemed to put the company Into great good humor. By this the hour was readied when It was necessary that my wife should prepare for our-departure to Saratoga, and the party left the tables to Inspect the wedding gifts, which were exhib ited In a large room .devoted cxclu- lively to that purpose—a valuable col lection of Jewels and fancy articles, st which I could not look without the painful thought that nothing from Holdenhurat was among them. It wanted not more than half an hour of the time fixed for our depart ure when nnd* Bam, with an atr of mystery, beckoned me to follow him. did eo, wondering -what his purpose could be, He led the way to hit study, where sunt Gertrude and my wife awaited, us, tbe latter now In a plain, tightly-fitting traveling dress, ready to depart My unde dosed tbe door In a cautions way is soon at we hnd en tered tbe room, wblcb circumstance, as' well as the serious looks of aunt Gertrude and my wife, filled me with alarm. I waa about to Inquire the meaning of all this when unde Sam spoke.' my wife meanwhile observing me closely to note the effect ot hit words upon "'A letter from England arrived for you this morning,” he said, "and by good fortune it fell Into my bands. have kept tt from you until now, for your benefit; for you would not have liked your marriage to have been again postponed. I don't know bow It may prove, but I greatly fear that It evatatas bad news. However that may be, take courage for your wife’s sake as well as your own. Remember my. recent experience, and never let be raid that the old man was braver than tbe young one.” And having spoken' thus my uncle handed me a bUck-bordend letter bearing an Eng lish stamp and the postmark of Bury St Edmund's. To be continued. “Mr. Tan Rensselaer didn't win bis form nud the dear, tmprefidre The sweetest, music to tha egotist It when be blows bit own born'. posqd to take dolls to boarding school.' The speechless agony with wblcb tbe dolls suffered at the revelation will per haps never be understood. Dldsb fell out of her chair In a faint, the Infant Uttered a shriek, and Fancbon forgot tor once to roll ber eye* and abut them Instead. Bnt tbe India rubber doll took no part In tbelr demonstrations, (be-be bad rolled Into the passage on an ex ploring expedition and was Jnst In tbe path of Marcella's paps nnd his guests when they pasted on tbelr wty to tbe 'laboratory, where Marcella’s papa worked out all manner of wonderlul things, wblcb wen so far ahead of the timet that he forgot til sbont tbe pres ent. Although be stumbled over tbe rubber doll, be would bare passed it by bed It not squeaked loudly-ond bounced very Ugh when tbe professor took bis foot kwsy. Even a professor cannot belp being n trifle disturbed st such a demon*Ira- Ron; . “This must be one of Marcella’s dolls,” be said, as he picked tbe robber doll up, and tbo remark seemed to re call something to bis mind, for be added rather abruptly to tbe yoonger professor wbo wss with him; “My-little dsngbter,-you know, she's going awiy to boarding school Id s day or two. I’ll leave this in the nursery." He was'ao much aroused by the rubber doll, which continued to squeak, even after It had been picked np, that he ac tually noticed, while bo was handing the doll to Mary Marcella, thst she had been crying. ‘•Wby, what is the matter!” he asked, and be looked In a puzzled way nt the targe packing case and the dolls on the hekrtta rag. “Are yon peeking your dolls to take to boarding school!" “No,” said Marcella, bravely; "they are not going. Great-Aunt Caroline •says that one Is not expected to take dolls to a boarding school. They mkke one’s room so disorderly, " "Bnt, perhaps," suggested Marcella’s papa, wbo was about ss clever about dolls as about anything els* when he was one* aroused to a sense of their paramount Importance, “boarding schools have changed since Annt Caro line’s day. I am quite certain tbe one which yon are going to will not object to dolls." And when, a few days later, Marcella and her belongings were received at tbo boarding school, her papa was par- tlcnlarly anxious about a peculiar look ing hamper and an even more peculiar looking frame box, out of which there ehrerged the entire family of dolls and a most commodlut doll mansion, wUeh exactly fitted Into a corner of Mary Marcella’s small dormitory division, and In which, at ber papa’s .request, a particularly elegant apartment was re served for the rubber doll.—Birming ham Age-Herald. WREN DISCIPLINE. Hidden in the grass, I tried to solve tbe secret of the' father’s petulant ac tions. Each time the patient mother returned be grew more restless and violent'in bis language. Boon I saw his wife whirl JoyOutly by with sn un usually targe white grab—rarely • a prise for any bird. Bnt, sisal for all her prowess, ber spouse darted st ber at If in madness, while she, trembling in terror, retreated down tbe limb and through tbe bushes For a few mo menta tt seemed as If the wren house hold was to be wrecked. I was tempt ed to take tbe mother’s part against such cruel treatment it she quivered through the fern on fluttering wing' toward me. but'at that moment, as if thoroughly subdued^she yielded up tbe bug to the father. This was th. to.,c of contention. A douicstlc battle had I*—u fought and be bad won. Tbe scolding ceased. Both seemed satis fied. Mounting to the tree top,' the lit tle mother poured forth such a flood of sweet song as rarely strikes human ear. From that moment she t«fiW4 * different wren, released from 'all card ittrl werry. Her entire time was spent in search for bugs. Each return was heralded by d tftfe the tree top, and her bnsbapd whiled out of tbe tangled vines td tax# the morsel she carried. Rill whaf of his actions!. He had #itber gone WIT or he was a most Oeifisit littic tyrant, for be flew about the alder etiimrt, calling iidW la a softer lone to bis- children tvithld,and[fiddly swallowed the grub himself. ,lwo of three times be did this, nntll I was so disgusted I could hardly endure blni. If he were hungry, why could be not skirmish for his own bags? While I was chiding him for hit in famous action, the mother appeared With a large moth, which he readily took. Among the alder limbs the father dew, and finally up to the nest bole, out of which wss Issuing such a series of hungry scream* as no par ent with tbe least bit of devotion conld resist. Hardly could I bellere my eyes, for the little knave Just went to tho door, where each hungry nestling conld-get a Bood view of the morsel, then, as If scolding the little ones for being «d noisy and bangry, he hopped back dowfi the tree Into the bushes. This was Indeed cause for a family revolt. Tbe brown nestling nearest tbe door grew so bold with hunger that be forgot his fear nnd plunged headlong down, catching iu the branches below where the father perched. And the precocious youngster got the. large moth at t reward for bl* bravery. Not till then did it dawn upon me that there was t reason for the father's queer actions. The wrenlet* -were old enough to leave tbe nest. Outside in tbe warm sunshine they conld be fed more easily and they woald grow more rapidly, and they could be taught tbe ways of woodcraft. In half an hour, one after another, the little wren* had been persuaded, even compelled, to leave the narrow eonHnes of the nest and ltnnch ont Into the big world. What a.task the father had brought upon himself. Surely' the old woman In the shoe never lmd a more trying time. The fretful father darted sway to pnnlah one of the wrehlets for not remaining quiet; he scurried here to scold another .for wandering too far, or whirled away to whip a third for not keeping low in the underbrush, sway from the hawk's watchful eye*. —From William Lovell Flnleyi* "Be** tag a Wren Family,” In Bt. Nicholas. THE: OBSTINATE FLAME. Of course you know what a “blower" Is. The meaning that we have In mtnd le not to be found In .the dictionary, but you are doubtless familiar with the term boaster, which It tho rame' thing. The next time yon encounter him tell him that you don’t believe he can blow out a candle placed only a foot from his experienced month without,any other obstacle than bis own brestb be tween them. It he accept* the challenge, sett him comfortably at the table, place tbe lighted candle In front of him, sod put ting to hit lips a targe tin fnnnel, with the centre of it* mouth opposite and near tbe flame, and tell him to- blow through that He may blow until he becomes black In the face without extinguishing th* candle. The harder ha blows the more It doesn't go out. After he has given it up sty, “It Is easy enough, when yon know bow," put the funnel to your ilps and blow out tbe candle. How? Simply by bring ing the rim instead of tbe centre near the flame. When yon blow through a fnnnel your breath spreads and follows tbe conical surface, leaving a region of dead calm In the centre. Your friend blew all around tbe flame without touching It, but you extinguish it with a puff. There are a good many, queer things sbont sir currents thst would never have been thought ot if they had not been found out by experience. This is one of them. AKoonCl A Herein owner of classic days (rang a ban* about her baby’s neck at. soon as It could walk. Often this was Just a disc of metal or, leather, bear ing the name of the child’s family; but more often it was a hollow metal cate, -highly ornamented.,which held charms ogatast rrtl spirits. •• TOOLED AGAIN. . I bajght toms/ptUnt lesther shots, fltrally make* yni tort®)— « - _ Fro only worn them .tire* week* sad J The patent has expired. N THE LESSEE EVIL. , . Joe—“Dd you like picnics so well?” John—“No, taft if I don’t go I’ll h*v« to take care of the baby while my wife goes.“—Cincinnati .Commercial Trl- nne, -.-rtkjf JlfOT BEFdBE THE BATTLE.' cyhls bread Isn’t fit for a dog to eat,’’ growled the husband, “Very ..well, my dear," replied bi*^ wife, “don’t pat it, then."—Chicago Rows, ... ' MASCULINE SYMPATHY. / Office Boy—“I’ve got th' toothache." Bookkeeper—’’Foob! I’ve got rheu-j mstlsm in both knees, a stiff heck and 1 t - headache."—Cincinnati Commercial. Tribune. - 1 WHEBEt Native—“Yes, It’s a little warm hero •e-day, but the sir Is magnificent” Visitor—"Yes, It’s fine. Do I have to pay anything extra for it!”—ChP „ eago Tribune. -vlv THE TACTFUL BARBER. ' 1 “Do yon shave yonrtelf, sir!” “None of your business.” “I was only going to say. sir, that It’s dons ax .well as any professional could do it” That netted him ad pxtra tip.—Cleve land Plata Dealer. ^ ,„j NEED SCRAPING. Cockney—"Thank the Lord, there If one thing we’ve not got In England." ; New Yorker—“Say, what’s that?” y Cockney—"Skyscrapers.” New Yorker—“Well you want ’em; your skies are so btd they need scrap - ing."—Harper’s Weekly. , .. ,i , ^ AS IT USUALLY HAPPENS. Barnes—“They ray . that Widow. Oneeds' husband wasn't much of f •tan." Howes—“No, I don’t think he was, bnt he'll get a splendid character from Mrs. Ouecdt when she marries his sue, csssor.”—Boston Transcript. ALL OUT. “I am strongly Inclined to think that four husband has appendicitis," said' the phj»lcUn. “That’s Just like him,” answered Mrs, Cumrox. "He always watts till any thing hat pretty nearly gone out ol itylo before be decides t« get It.”- Washington Star. ) • - ~ HE KNEW. Dick—"No, you’re not s true friend— or yon wouldn't ask me to lend yod money,-when you know that I haven't any myself.” Slick—"But you forget that the only, friends who are willing to lend monvy| lire the ones wbo haven't got it to> lend.”—Detroit Free Press. < A GOOD HINT. He—“I came near proposing to you (he other night.” She—“I'm glad you dlda’t. I’d misi four visits ever so much.”—Conic Cuts POSITIVE PROOF. "Yni," said the young nan. “the gill t am engaged to Is sn angel.” “Oh, sure." sneered the scanty haired man who had been np against the ma trimonial game for many years, "That’s what they all say.” “Bnt she Is. all right,” continued tho ■mitten yonth. “Even mother says ztd is too good for me ."-Chicago News. , HOW THEY LOVE ONE ANOTHER. First Loving Friend—“Good even ing, dear. Why, you’re sparkling all "rer.” —, Becond Loving Friend-"Yes, dear, thane are my fatally diamonds.” First loving Friend (sweetly)— “Really, dear. HoW nice! But I didn't know that your ancestor was a •Jailer.”—Ally Sloper. A DREAM OF BLISS. “Ss you are looking forward ta a food time this summer!” “Yes, sir," answered Mr. Cumrox. “Going out of town?" “No. I’m going to send mother and ' the girls out ot town. Then fm going to sit in my shirt sleeves, smoke my pips ta the parlor, and hire a steam piano to play au the ragtime I waut"- .Washtagton Star. _ . .