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AJKE HAMMOND, L- THE MISER. 1 J By Prof. Win, Henry Peck, A 9 Author of tho “TS. Stone-Cutlcf 1 I of Lisbon,” Etc. Cowrrtatfc lift fey Boim Somites'* Sow. (AO rights reserved.) .CHAPTER H. f ■ Continued. Luke Hammond's pale tight hand •lid Into hla bosom, and there teat ' surdeitroa In tent lb hla eye when Kate Iprang between. ' , ‘'Sauiet, bo violence! Mr. Hammond —1 cau you uncle no more—la It pos- db.- that your hand la now grasping a ociicealed weapon?* i Hammond seemed to wither In the ' worn ul fire *t Kate's rebuking glance, ind bis hind fell to bla side at If sad- jonl/ Mkvaj/fced. , • '3**^’ nm ** Greene lean this tenter’ ion he. hoarsely. . r ’‘First let me ten yon," said James, ‘that I was acquainted with this lady many v months before I repaired your leak. " Oars la no audden lore, but the growth, tif time. I knew her father, and he befriended me much. I have 'not/itolen Into this house to win Miss qftln’s lore. She-has honored me In Vising me her love without solicitation an my part, and f have returned that love honorably and trou'my soul. I loved her and she loved me long before cither of us recognised a mutual affec tion. You have Insinuated that I have sought her band for the fortune It may held. Yqu do not know me, My. Hammond.. ‘Were (he as poor as she Is rich — and tor her sake, thank heaven . she ls/iot-I would love her as much ns IMo now. I do not acknowledge yojjfr right to ltdhd between us, fer she la in her eighteenth year, and baa Wis dom to guide her In the choice of a husband. I do not ask you to consent to our marriage; your opposition Is a mere shadow to me and to her. 'I leave you, bnt tell you I Intend to make Miss Catherine Elgin my wife so soon •a sbahhall name the day." “And that will be when yon may ap point, James,” said Kate, boldly. , “Not ad fast, young lady,” said Ham mond. "By the conditions of your father's will you cannot marry without my consent and keep possession of the “Then I will marry without either,” . replied the high-spirited girl. “It will be a relief to me to escape from your presence, and from those dismal night- no^i,.’>e«r- i''•That reminds me,” said James, “to tell Mr. Hammond that he has played , anything but an honorablo part In' fill ing Miss Elgin's mind with a ridiculous belief In ghosts and haunted houses.” . “Do you, James Greene, leave thle house this Instant, or I will summon those who shall soon-throw you Into the street," said Hammond, savagely. . ''There la not power enough In this house to force me out,” said James, "and should yon summon the police I would take refuge In the eastern Wing lot the bouse—the haunted part, Mr. Hammond." ; Luke Hammond started slightly, but made no remark, while James slowly moved Into the hall with Kate. "Good night, >my love,” said James, exchanging a kiss at the vestibule. “Since your uncle carries so high a head I will fathom his Mystery, though I violate one of the rules of my life, .which reads, 'Let every man mind bis own business.' Btin, I cannot presume to ask you to wed me, and so cause - you to lose your fortune; I have never heard of the will pf which he speaks. All think your father made no win." i ''Luke Hammond—do not call him my uncle,”-replied Kate-"says he dis covered the will a few days ago, and tho he Is preparing to hava It proved in i urt” ' jU know, dear Kate, I am depend ent -non my Industry for my support," said -ernes, “and It will be very wrong In m.- lo Induce you to wed poverty.’’ . “Health, honesty and Industry are not pevorty, dear James," said Kate, hrcssli,; his hand. “You have them, so navo I. 1 am ready to be yours, rich or poor." i '“You me nn angel, Katy,” exclaimed James, ;. . he gated Into her bright brown eyes. “I have beard so much of Luke Tlnmmond’a sharp dealings, both as a -oker and a lawyer, for he has been i i attorney—that I begin to suspect th . he Is deceiving you about the will. in at any rate we are de termined t-» marry, rich or poor, and so here Is a kiss for good-night It you walk rat to-morrow evening at seven I w.il meet you, and we will appoint a place and time for our. wed ding.” - The lovera parted, and Kate returned - to taco her enraged uncle, while James Greene hcrrled to his home. . He lived alone, for so far as he knew he had no kindred. When Kate re entered the parlor she found Luke Hammc: d pacing to and fro, and mut tering torses upon James Greene. Kate hs : no desire to quarrel, and as she fc:ucd Hammond’s violent tem per, she turned to go to her room, when be cried out: “Stay. Catherine Elgin! I have wmuthlag to say to yon.” "Speak as a gentleman should, and use a gentler tone, Mr. hamraond, if you desire me to listen to you,” said Cate. “Hal your champion’s love has pade yea hold. Miss Elgin.” sneered Ham mond. folding hla anna, and guing on bar with a stare iNant to. But Kate had resglved to throw off, for once and ell, the yoke of tyranny which, tilt now, she had made as light as possible by humility and pardonable evasion. She drew herself erect, and returned the stare with unflinching pride. “Have you any more compliments to lavish upon me, Mr. Hammond?'' the asked. , “Miss Elgin,” said be, lowering anil softening hie. tone, “yon forget that you *r# addressing yonr mother's Brother.” “And yon do not care til remember that you are speaking to your slster'a daughter, Mr. Hammond,’’ aald- the, still firmly. “This change In one formerly so gentle, Miss Elgin," remarked. Ham- head winds, no doubf.” mond, “astonishes me.” ‘ *“ " “ “I wag gentle, Mr, Hammond, until your barah treatment turned_..geutlc- ness to defiance.” friend—oye, the beat friend you havs on earth.” "May heaven defend me from rock friends," enld Kate, bitterly, eg she retired. “Tble rebellion Is sudden and danger- ons. It mnst be crashed at oncer muttered Hammond, as be tnrnoO down the gae and haetened to hie' library, / CHaWeS III. , Luka HAMKbhD'd Libbabt. * Lake Hammond entered his library and seated himself at,bis desk. Bnt this time he did not read; he thought, and as he did so the bard lines on bis face seemed to grow deeper and darker, and bla heavy brows met In a frown that halt bid bla deep-set gray eyes. “Here, then, la a new obstacle In my path," he muttered. “A most formid able one, for there Is no donbt Cathar ine Elgin loves this James Oreerie pro foundly. Of all men in the world, why hill bhahbfe eeiiteeejl per «*«e- tlohs upon Jinhes Greene? It my eon were here now I should feci easier in mind. Wl^y does he not come?" Hammond tossed over a pile of news papers near him, and selecting one, rend and re-read the shipping Intelli gence. N * ‘Bark Gleaner,' he read, 'to eall on the Utb.' She Is due two days, and Charles wrote that he would come In Can she have foundered? No— "My harsh treatment, Mlsa Elgin!" “My words, Mr. HnMmond, are not to strong aS my thoughts. I repeat, yonr harsh treatment During my fa ther’s life I was allowed every liberty consistent with correct beliavlor. Since my father’s death you have made .me nlmoat a prisoner In the house I have evtry reason to believe mine. You have discharged all of the servants formerly employed by my father—” . “The Involved state In which your honored father left hie affaire, Miss Elgin, does not allow me to retain those servants,” said Hammond. , “Then why discharge them and liiro creatures of yopr own?” demanded 1 Hammond found one of the boards dls- , A groan/ deep and dismal, growing stronger ere it ended, rose upon hla ear. He let fall the paper and stood “This Is a puzzle to me,” said he. "Ever since that Impudent carpenter repaired thle desk those groans have reached my car more distinctly here than In any other part of the house. Stay! he bad some trouble In replacing the desk. I remember I told blm be wonld break down the partition. Let me examine.” He heaved at the heavy desk, until It was far enongh from the wall to allow him to pass behind It The wall was merely a thin partition of boards colored and papered, and dividing the little library from a hath that traversed the third story of the eastern wing. Kate. “Creature*.of my own! Upon my word, Mlsa Elgin, yon Intimate, that I am a villain panning some Illicit coune,” said Hammond. > “Take It as yon please, Mr. Ham mond," said Kate. “The housekeeper of my father you dlacbargcd to make room for Mn. Barker. The three other servants you hired to fill place* you made vacant. You have forbidden mil to leavo-the bouse unattended by somo one of those servants. You have com manded me to retire from the society In which I moved when my father was alive., You lay you do tbia to wean me from luxury that I may become accus tomed to the poverty which, you say, you fear will fall upon me when my father's attain ahall have been thor oughly adjusted. Mr. Hammond, I do not believe It. Those whom I 'meet when I do go from this bouse speak of me and to me as if I were a rich heiress." "They are all deceived,” enld Ham mond, quickly. “I assure yon, Miss Elgin, you will live to see this house- sold over your bead to poy the debts placed. "TUI« must'be repaired to-morrow. I will do It myself. I have had more than enough of carpenters. Thle dam age has let In grqans enough to alarm Catharine, and but for James Greene she wonld bare forgotten those she heard lir the room she formerly aqpu- pled." A. little bell, right over bla desk, now nng violently. \ , “Hoi” said Hammond, looking up. "Mn. Harker desires my pretence Im mediately.” Aa be epoke the front door bell was heard to clatter below. “Ah!” said Hammond. “A vlsltor.at this time of night—nearly ten o'clock! Can that wretch of a carpenter bayo returned, to - fulfil bla half-uttered threat of leading the police Into tho eastern wing? Impossible. He could not dream of what Is there.” The little bell over the desk again tinkled Its summons. "You are Impatient, Mn. Harker,” said Hammond, at be glanced at the bell; bnt I must learn who la below lint. It would be very raab to leavt b *j! ln 2’ , . an enemy In my rear.” ™dmjfatitr,lis knowing of these He t0 „ 1IwiklIlg debts?'’asked Kate. “He did. The knowledge embittered bla last momenta terribly," laid Ham mond. “Did my father know that the settle ment of bla debts, Mr. Hammond would leave me, bla only child, ponul leas?” “Upon my word of honor, Mlsa El gin, he did.” “Then please Inform me, Mr. Ham mond,” aald Ka(0, with a glance that pierced him to the marrow, “why he left that will of which you told me.” Luke Hammond saw that he was caught In hla own trap. A detected Mar la the moat miserable wretch Ini- aginable; and If Hammond's features bad been cast Iron Inetead of flesh and blood. It teemed to blm that bis faco wonld bare confessed tbe lie. Kate'a bright and searching eye was riddling blm with unspoken contempt, and be felt thn't the longer she gazed tbe more be withered. “I do not know—that la—there were certain—" he began. Bnt hla tonguc scemed to curl upon Itself, and to cling to. tbe roof of hla month. Enough, Mr. Hammond,” aald Kate, scornfully. “Do not mire younelf any deeper la what I now know to be a miserable lie," 'Ha! a Mel You dare to say-tbat to me?” blustered Hammond, bappy to have a dunce to go Into a rage, and pushing back bl* stiff, abort gray hair until he looked like a fury. “You dare say that, to me?” dare,” said bold Kate, flashing back bla fierceness. You shall rue this, Catherine El gin! By my blood, yon shall rue it, miss!" said be, stamping hla foot heavily, and dashing his * clenched bands upon tbe uwrble table near him. I have been your friend and your rather’* Mend. You are forcing mo to bate you, and let me tell you. Cath arine Elgin, that when I bate I bate with all tbe gall of bitterness. You dispute my authority In tbls bouse. 1 tell you I nm tbe master of tbls bouse. Perhaps you will tremble when I tell you, Catharine Elgin, that It la now In ray power, tbls Instant, to turn you In to the street, houseless, homeless, pen niless!” No, I do not tremble, air." said Kate, calmly, though her face waa very pale. 'Go to your apartment. Mlsa Elgin,'' said Hammond. “Seek counsel with yonr pUlow, and yonr better sense will teach you that Luke Hammond Cj your tube aud said: “Walt. I will be with you In a mo ment. Some one Is at the front dooit What news?" Listening Intently, he heard for an answer: “I can hardly bold him. Ho strag gles to rise.” "Blud him! I will he with you soon,” said Hammond, speaking in the tub* mouth. ■'Struggle* to rise,” he muttered. "Tbls regaining of strength Is sur prising. He was as weak aa a child this morning." A tapping at tho door of the library drew hla attention thither. "Come In,” said he, loudly. "What now?” he continued, as a atont, Ill- favored man, blear-eyed and cruel- fated, entered. "What now, Daniel?” “A gentleman below, air—in the hall. Wanta to sec you,” said Daniel. “Do you know lilra? Have you ever seen him before?" demanded Ham mond. "No, sir," repfleC Daniel. "He Is a tall, slender gentleman, cloaked to the eyes—wears u slouch bat low down over his face—eyes like coals of fire." Tbe little bell over the desk tinkled as If to shake out Its tongue. Hammond sprang to the speaking- tube. "What now, Nancy?" Tbe answer came up like a roar: "I must have help Instantly!” "Expect It!” replied Hammoud. Then turning to Daniel be said: “Show the stranger hither, and then hurry to tha crimson chamber.” "The crimson, sir? He was In the white and gold this morning,” aald DanlcL “Ho nas been removed,” said Ham mond. -“Horry to tbe crimson cliam- her and aid Mrs. Marker. Use no more violence than Is necessary. Daniel.’’ "I’M be as gentle as a lamb, s'lr," said Daniel. “Must I show up the gentle man in the ball?’' “Of course—hasten!’’ said Hammond; and Daniel left the room. “Now who can this stranger be?” muttered Hammond. “Hts dcscrlp tiou, as Daniel gave it. does not tnU> with tbe appearance of my son. I am nervous—I tremble—a sure sign that I am either to meet an enemy or some one who may become so." He stepped to a closet and filling a wine-glass with raw brandy, swallowed the contents. , To be continued. * . an ARCADIA IS THIS ISLET. No Laws, No Money and No Crime in Tristan Da Cunha. S 3 >Ier.<M<t Reaord For Morality by tbo Less Than JOO Inhabitants of tale la Soatb Atlantic Ocean. ' Vi- -* ' — ' ivwsaJb- OLK who hold that mousy la tbe not of all evM may find support tot that belief In tbe Ialo at Tristan da Cunba. For, though seventy-seven white, folk inhabit this fly speck of an Island in tbe South Atlantic, tbere la no money In circulation among them, and, sig nificantly enough, there also It no wrongdoing bf any description. Wrote a recent visitor td the Island: “Money would be useless, for there is nothing to bny." And be continued: “Living In honesty, sobriety and har mony, free apparently from all crime, vice, dissension or doable dealing, tbe Inhabitants of Tristan da Cunba seem unconsciously to have carried out tbe purpose entertained by tbe -original settler of 1811, Jonathan Lambert, by keeping themselves ’beyond tbe reacb of chicanery and ordinary misfortune.’ “They have no written laws. All be ing law-abiding, they need none, each doing wbitt Seemoth right in Ms Own eyes. They have no jail. Crimd among them being unknown, such an Institution would be a superfluity. They have no form of government and pay no taxes. They enjoy perfect Independence and freedom which never degenerates Into license.' Tbo cobiuranlty la abaolntely moral." CONTENT WITn THEIB LOT. Tbe outsider who recently visited this later-day Arcedia did so for the purpose of finding out whether Its In habitants really wanted to leave It. Tristan da Cunba belongs to England, and, In January, <003, a British man- of-war called at tbe island and after ward reported that most of tbe people were weary of their life of Isolation and wanted to get away from tbe place. 8o the government of Cope Colony sent a representative to offer the isl anders free transportation to that country If they wished It, as well aa the means of,making a new start In life. But when the agent explained to the folk of Tristan da Cuuha how dif ferent tho outside world was from their Island home the little community of seventy-seven decided to let well enough alone. And the visiting official thinks they acted wisely, for be says that “haring lost tho Instincts of suspicion and clr- .cumspeetlon, they would fare Ml If set adrift In any civilised community where each man plays a lone band In the game of life and cares little who loses, so long as he himself wins." Just as tbere are no newspapen In Tristan da Cunha, no postofflee, no churches and no schools, there also are no shops. The only time, in fact when the Inhabitants think of anything like bargaining Is when they trade with ships passing tho island. Even then, however, there Is no competition among them. AM provisions or produce of any kind, supplied to ships are regarded as tbe common property of tbe community and the procceda of their sale In cloth ing or storea arc distributed equally among the several households, the blowlug of a horn aummonlng a repre sentative of each family to the divi sion. To rnnko the system work out fairly each family take* lta turn In supplying what n ship needs. Tristan da Cunha was discovered In 1SG0 by the Portuguese navigator whose name it bears. Great Britain took possession of It somo 800 years later and while Napoleon wn» Impris oned on St. Helena, 1300 miles distant, placed n detachment of British soldiers there aa n aort of outpost garrison. On the death of Napoleon In 1821 the soldiers were withdrawn, but a certain Corporal Olass, with bis wife and fam ily, and a few other men, were allowed to remain. In 1833 the population numbered forty souls and in 1S32 bad risen to eighty-five. In the course of the next two decades twenty-five left the Island for the United States and forty-five migrated to the cape, reducing the number of those remaining on the Island to thirty-six. An enumeration mnde in 1SS0 showed 100 living there, and these figures have remained the hlgb-water mark of population. Tbere havo been two violent deaths, but they were ruses of suicide, due to mental de rangement. MORAL TONE HIGH. What makes the high moral record of tbe little community so remarkable Is tbo fact that the original stock was by no means “picked." as Is tbe case with many more ambitious attempts to establish ideal colonies which have Klgually failed. The male progenitors just plain, ordinary, rough and reaily men, the nationalities represent ed among them being Scotch, Irish, English and Dutch. They married colored women, one being of African binh'nnd three other* Asiatics. In 1SS3 a great disaster befell the Islanders. Fifteen men, comprising nearly the whole adult male popula tion, were lost In a boat that left the Island to board a passing vessel, mak ing of Tristan, as one of tbe survivors expressed It, "an island of widows and children." But tbe women and tbe boys and girls had been trained In the rugged school of self-help, and Instead 3f abandoning themselves to weeping and moping they set to work to make tho best of the Situation, and, with the aid of some supplies front the Rak ish Government stuck It ont, strag gling against many difficulties and tri umphing over a disaster that vMttl* have wrecked a colony of carefully se lected idealist*. Nature has beta at no pains to pre pare an earthly paradllf on this lonely lale. Ita remoteness from tn# world of strife and nnreat to jvhat has cdfl- trlbuted moat to the establishes :1 1 o: an Arcadia tbere. The Island It S vaat volcanic cone, almost 800® feel in height which was burled op oul of tbe sea aeons tfgd. Tbe base Is e rough circle, the drcomftfeaee of which, aomething over twenty miles 1* extent, ie defined by steep cliffa from 1000 to 2000 feet tlgb. On tbe nortftwest a plateau tome five miles long and about < Bp Ik broad In tervenes between these cliff# and sea, and thle also drops abruptly abodt 100 feet to the actual tea beacb. It i* on thia low-tying stretch of ground that tbe little community dwells and culti vates what crops they can obtain, mostly potatoes. , b A copious stream of fresh watei bursts out at tbe foot at the lofty cliffs, running across tbe northern end Of tbe plateau and falling over tbe lower cliffs Into the tea, making a pictur esque cascade and refreshing tight fot mariners whose water calks need re plenishing. Near the rivulet the fifteen or six teen dwellings of the settlement are grouped. Some years ago a part of the spring was diverted nesr Its source by cutting a farrow, to that a tributary stream now pastes by tbe door of nearly every one of the bouaea, to re unite jntt above tbe cateade. The houses are built «f soft atone obtained from the high slopes of the mountalri dressed to fit so exactly that the scanty mortar naed’ls scarcely needed. They are all built on substan tially the same plan, about thirty feet long and ten broad and only one story in height. One-half of eacb bouse la devoted to tbe sitting room, with a largo fireplace and chimney In tbe gable, the remaining being divided Into two or niore'smailer rooms with com municating passages. ' The wood asad In the partitions has been obtained from ships that bavo called at tbe Island or been cast ashore there. A relic of nne of these ship wreck! la teen in tbe Inacrlptlon “Mable Gltrk,” which appears on a piece of timber used in constructing one of the bedrooms. For rescuing the crew of this vessel In 1878 tbe Island ers were handsomely rewarded by the United 1 8tatea Government. They-have troubles of their own, like other peoples. Tbe worst of them came from the outside world. Over twoscore years ago a aphooner waa wrecked on the Island and a lot of rata escaped from her to the (bore, multi plying to fast that tbey toon overran tbe Island; rendering tbe cultivation of grain Impossible and sweeping bar* tbe hillsides where grew tbe tnaaoek grain with which tbey need to thatch tbelr cottages. Now each householder has to raise what he needs of It to a walled-tn In- cloture from which the rats can be kept at bay. The rats are tho enraa of tho Island. Tbe Triatanltea will erect a monument to the memory of anybody who will rid them of tbe pest. For many reasons it wonld seem to be eminently- desirable tbat tbe exist ence of tbls island Arcadia abonld be perpetuated. Aa an object lesson In tbe aolntlou oS somo of tha mdst vexed problems of sociology tho little community may some day be deemed wortbytof the study of our learned pro fessors who have evolved 'various theories ms to how the greatest happi ness may be attained by tbe greatest number.—Loa Angeles Times. mn Stanley Worked la a Collar. He sometimes, but not often, spoke to me of his life as a boy I remem ber, 111 1800, when we were staying in Cincinnati together, bis nsklug me one afternoon to go for a walk with blm. Me took me through obscure back streets and down dirty aMeys un til we reached a wharf ou tbe banka of tbe Ohio River. He stopped at tbo Iwttom of n street, which ran steeply down to tbe river, and pointed out a lad jwho waa rolling a large cask of tallow from a cellar down to tbe wharf. He said: “I have brought you here because I wanted to show you this place. It was in this street tbat I (worked as a boy. I waa doing exactly the sane week as tbat lad, and. It I mistake not, that Is the same cellar in which I worked.” — From “Reminiscences of Sir Henry Stan ley,'’ tiy A. J. Mounteney-Jephson, In Scribner’s. AjntB For rood. Ants, writes Ernest Thompson Seton, in Country Life in Amcrles, arc avail able for food when one la lost in tbe North Woods. They are usually to be found dormant in dead and bollow trees, sometimes in great numbers. Bears and flickers eat them In quanti ties, and I bare met men who claim to have done to, bnt I baye never tried them myself, and suspect they are un pleasantly acid. Professor E. B. Southwlck, however, says: “In my early days, when chopping wood I have often eaten the froten black ant*. The formic acid In thsm made an agrcoable relish to tbe pork and bwa’d sandwich tbat formed my lunch.” ANIMALS. ’"X" The ThtJnrt of Kalamazoo • 1 ™ friend of the plead ssha. -,X5a ti«ers at random, -“—m cheetahs m tandem, las into tosra on a gnu. —% go LADYLIKE. •Does your ddfe «W »»J anytntng the to sorry for?” a™..* «„* “Noi she’s sorry |f she Atesn t sny anything."—Cleveland Leader. j LITERALLY. 1 "What's tbe most recent lntellP **rrbat of Jones; be has ered ttom an attack of Insanity- -New Orleans TlnnwDeroocrat. i BREEZY. ' Ketchum A. Cummin-”Well, ymfv- succeeded in raising the Wind, w nay are you going to do now?” Orville Ardnp—“I’m going to blow myaelf."—Chicago Trlbnne. ^ ALL’ HE WANTED. “I don’t want poverty, an’ I don't want riches,” says Brotb ' r , "All I wante to plenty political cam paigns an’ canderdates rnnnln’d* year Kan’!"—Atlanta Constitution. y HIS SOURCE OF INSPIRATION. “He writes the most realisUc war scenes In bla books.” “Yes, poor fellow! Hlo marriage baa helped blm tbat much, at any rate! - New Orleans Tlmea-Democrat M AN HISTORICAL INCIDENT. Hannibal bad Just fallen from hla elephant. . „ •1 nriab I bad my tonriifff^ ar ^ere, be muttered. "I’m alck of tS«tc trunk Unea.”—Clereland Plain-Dealer. «* WHAT THEY MEANT. She (thinking of the doga)—"Ugly lit tle things, aren't they?" He (alluding to tbe children)—'“Ob, I .wouldn't go as far as that. But per haps If you dressed them differ ently—’’—Punch. NOT EXACTING. “Did I understand you to say that yonr husband was anxious to have a political career?" "No, be ain't particular about tbe ca reer. AM be wanta to an office.’’—Chi cago Record-Herald. HER CALENDAR. “How long have you been here?” asked tbe girl who had just arrived at the rammer resort. "Ob. only three rings,” replied the other girl, holding np her hand.—Chi cago Record-Herald. GOOD FOR SORE EYES. Professor (In medical college)—"Mr. Skate, which color irritates tbe opHc nerve lesst?” Mr. Skate (usually broke)—“Green, air—et least that of the long variety."-, Cincinnati Commerclal-Tribnne. ‘ ENNUI. Tired Tatters—“Dla paper tells cr- bout a feller wot died from ennui." Weary Walker—"Wot’a dat?” Tired Tatters—'“It’s de feelln' wot tomes to a man when be gits so lazy dat loalln's hard work.” - Chicago News. BEFORE AND AFTER. “Love,” said the wblskcrless youth, Venders one oblivious of time’s flight.” ’•Yes,” rejoined the man with the ab sent hair, "but marriage and the ar rival of the grocery bill on the first of each month aoon bring one back to earth again.”—Chicago News. PRETENSES. Batcheller—“I've come to the conclu sion that marriage to Just a game of pretense." Askum—“How do yon mean?” Batcheller—"Well, half the married men I meet pretend they’re perfectly happy and the other half pretend they’re perfectly miserable.”—Philadel phia Press. > HER BIGHTS. “Onions are good for Indigestion.” said Mrs. Black.. “Bnt I have never told my husband.” “Why don’t you 1st him try them?" ashed Mrs. Brown. “Because I’d rather have him have indigestion, and I think a man's wife tea some rights In tbe home "-Cinctr- uati Cemmerctal-Tribunr