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BAlttMIJS JtOJSmWfc MAY 1, *««*■
SAM JONES ON CONDUCTORS.
Move the Butter Tub Away from the Kerosene Oil Tank! Select the Cash Purchase from
The Trials and Tribulations of the
Suave Ticket Puncher.
About Sunday Trains—The Goorjtla Evan
gelist Says lie Would Hide oil
the Devil If He Were
U«ln„ HI* Way.
icorymonT, 1894.1
My article last week was devoted to
the locomotive engineer.
While the engineer has his arduous
MAX JOSEPH!
OR A. lOO PER CENT- PROFIT CREDIT FROM HIS COMPETITORS!
Or e f r the other must go!
an.i perilous duties up<*n him. the bo ms the ne'er c r a 5 iue: th r ong.
conductor, who has charge of the train ‘ ° —
from engine to rear coach, has equally
as responsible and more laborious a life
Max J eph’s Cash Principle versa* 100 per cent Credit Compete r . The rush ard roar and hustle r n Monday b 1 5ale ^at Max Joseph's
The constant recurrence of sights at thi* great emporium a~e novel a* d pie ising. W hat brings the pe pie this, the only busy store?
than the man who si ands at the thottle.
lie who imagines that the conductor
has an easy position knows but little j
of the duties of that responsible
place. It is his business to see all pas
sengers safely on the train; it is his
duty to overlook them en route; it is
his duty to see that they are all safely
off the train; and these three things
make his life ’frequently a hard one, in
connection with his responsibility
towards the officials of the road and
towards the traveling public.
No man is in a better position to
study and learn human nature in all
its phases than the conductor of a pas
senger train. All classes, from the
feeble old octogenarian down to the
little tots, board his train; all nation
alities, from the pig-tail Chinaman to
the side-whiskered, pompous English
man. There are passengers, male and
female, large and small, old and young,
sensible.and senseless, quiet and talk
ative, wise and ignorant, restless and
sedate, and in mixing with all these
classes, he sometimes has a hard time
from starting point to destination.
I suppose the female passengers give
the average conductor the most
trouble, plying questions, all sorts of
questions, questions that he can an
swer and questions that he cannot an
swer; questions that should be an
swered and questions that he ought
not to answer.
In my travel I have seen some very
ludicrous things occur on trains. Onco
an old talkative woman, after having
well-nigh talked the conductor’s arm
off, still stopped him every time he
passed and wanted to know if she had
taken in the information rightly which
he had so repeatedly given her.
could see written upon his face a deep
• sense of gratitude to God that there
fv&s a world where the curious ceased
their troubling and the Weary could be
at rest.
It is expected on the part of the
traveling public that a conductor
should always be courteous, patient
and gentlemanly — whatever their
treatment of him might be. Obeying
his orders from higher officials on the 1
one side, and worried with the whims
and indignities of the people on the
other side, he sometimes reaches his
destination feeling that if he had ten
miles further to go he would scarcely
live through it.
As a rule passenger conductors are
very courteous, elegant, obliging gen
tlemen, but-some of them are captions
and snarling and bigoted. A train of
passengers generally give such a con
ductor the right of way, and feel sor
ry at the sight of him when they board
his train again. The self-important,
captions, cursing conductor is a nuis
ance and ought to be abated.
It is a standing joke that conductors
“knock down,” as some say. Others
say they are color-blind—cannot tell
the railroad money from their own.
Others say they throw up all the silver
taken in, and all that sticks to the bell-
oord belongs to the railroad. Others
aay they beat the railroad out of all
cash receipts.
That there are dishonest conductors
just as there arc dishonest men in all
Other professions and callings no one
will deny; bat I take the position (and
1 think the facts will maintain me in
it) that, as a class, they are as honest
as you will find amongst any other or
der or class of men of equal tempta
tion.
Suppose that a conductor on his trip
to-day collected ten dollars in cash
fares; suppose in making out his re
port he turns in one dollar of the cash
fare to the railroad company, and
puts nine dollars of it in his own
pocket. Then to-morrow morning lie
boards his train full of passengers,
and walks down the aisle of the car,
collecting fares, with his head erect.
Now the question is: Conscious of the
fact that he had nine dollars of stolen
^ v money in his pocket, how could he
hold his head erect and walk through
V,.the cars without an expression
conscious guilt? If my sup
position of the theft is cor
rect, then . the only hypothesis
on which I can account for the fact
that he holds up his head, is in the
fact that as he walks through the
train he Knows that four-fifths of the
passengers on his train would beat
their way if they could.
If you will reform the traveling pub
lic. the dishonest conductor would
quit stealing or quit the road. It may
be a strong temptation to dishonesty,
but thousands of these toiling men are
as honest as the days are long. Really,
I believe that the dishonest conductor
is an exception.
It is the rule of the president of
certain railroad never to put spotters
or detectives on his passenger trains;
but he says; “I put detectives on the
tracks of the conductors after they get
off their train. If I find that they are
drinking, gambling and cursing I know
there is something wrong.”
A conductor who behaves himself
right when off the train will do his
duty ard be honest on his train.
Hundreds of conductors whom
know are honest, faithful, Christian
men, members of the church of God,
living in good repute among their fel-
lowmen, honored by their neighbors
and esteemed by their brethren in the
church.
On many of our southern roads we
have passenger conductors who have
been running their trains twenty, thir
ty and some for more than forty years.
Surely these men axe faithful, or long
ago they wonld have been side tracked
or discharged.
In my travels I meet with many con
ductors with whom I rode twenty and
(thirty years ago; the same affable,
splendid fellows, genial and jolly even
as the gray hairs adorn their temples,
and the frosts of time have made their
a a question easily solved. Everybody gives themselves the true answer. T^e volumes of bargains offered aro his true principles.
WE HAVE HAD NO TIME TO THINK OF HARD TIMES.
I am always on the watch for b irgains. The r always have and always will sell. Thess are the advantages of bayiag and selling for ca<h. The old
brings ruin t»you. My cash system saves you I urant your attention to these pricei below.
system'
WASH DRESS GOODS
SALE.
From 7 to 12 o’clock.
Figured Lawns at 2o a yard.
Yard wide Sea Island Sheeting 2c
a yard.
Figured Challies Sc a yard.
Colored Cotton Bunting 3£c a
yard.
32 inches wide Silhaline value 15c
at 7c.
Double width Ginghams 8c kiad
at 5c a yard.
Chcice Diess Ginghams ,4£c a
yard for 7c grade.
Choice Good Quality Calicoes 3$ s
a yard
Crepe Fancies 10c kind at 6Jc.
Vigilant Percales 9c a yd.
and 20c is a regular price with^com-
petitors
Shamrock Lawns 7c a yard, white
grounds* figured and flowered in
bright colors and 15c are the com
patitore prices.
Printed Swiss 8*c a yard
dotted in white swies dots, with
figures and flowers that make the
gardens smile as nature cannot im
prove on them, 18c are competitor’s
prices.
SILK SALE.
RARE NOVELTY DRESS
GOODS.
China Silk at 18c a yd; yon are
allowed tojmatch these at 40c.
Figured China Silk at 28c;
yon arejallowed to match these at 50c.
Figured Surale Silks at 42c;
vou are allowed to match these at 75c.
32-inch Wa9h Silks at 39c;
you can’t match these at 80c a t yard.
Silkaline at 7c a yard, these
are 32 inches wide highly col**
ored ground and figured beautifully.
Vou can’t tell them from China Silk
ON
SPECIAL BARGAIN
TABLE.
Ladies Laundried Shirt
waists at 20c; none like them for
less than 50c;
Ladies Laundried Shirt
waists, pleated ruffle fronts, at 25u;
65c would be considered a bargain;
Ladies very fine Percale
Shirt Waists at a5c, the 85c kind;
Dark and Light Colored
very fine French Satieen Shirtwaists
at 50c. If any can be bought for less
than 25, I’ll sacrifice the name of
a bargain offerer.
Boy's Shirtwaists at 10c
a piece;
Boy’s Laundried
waists at 15c a piece.
Think of this. The material costs
yon moie, for all ages from 5 to 13
years.
You can have a pair oi
Knee Pants lor 15c; or both
Shirtwaist and Pants for 25c.
Novelty Sailor Ha's go as an ad
verusement on this sal*-. Up stairs;
Willow Moma Tiimmed Sailors
60c kind for 25c;
West End Beauties 65u kiud at 85c;
Sa‘.in Amazon Sailers, the
newest shape satin crowns, $1 00
kind at 95c;
White Sailors, nice quality,
20c each;
Satin Eugenie, $1 00 for
the $2 00 kind;
We charge you nothing for
trimming a hat on this sale
for orders taken before noon.
NEGLIGEE SHIRTS.
Shirt*
LADIES WAISTS.
Ladies Pleated Shirt
waists at 15c a piece. Think they
are the 40c kind;
MILLINERY.
The fine pattern Hats that were
on exhibition at the opening will be
closed at a great redaction. No two
alike.
LACE SALE.
Choice 5c a yard lor values rang
ing from 8 to i8c a yard.
One large lot, 80 pieces, values
from 8 to 15c a yard, 5c lor ibis sale
for choice.
One large lot Valencine Laces val
ues I rein 9 to 18 c, 5c for this sa'e
for^choice.
One large lot Swiss Embroidery
values 10 to 10c, 5c for this sale for
choice.
To see this gigantic Lace Depart
ment of fancy and staple articles,
will be the talk of the town.
Made of fi e Madrass Cloth, on
Special Sal 3 , a lot of 40 dozen, vary
ing iu values Iron $1 00 to $1 50,
choice at. 50 j each.
White Laundried Shirts a mixed
lot, slightly damaged but not visi
ble, all ot the best 4 piy linen bosoms,
plain or embroidered, values irom
$1 00 to $2 50, choice at 50c. See
trout Wind >w.
White Vest Sale At 75c.
White and Coloied Piquet.
Vests A manufacturer's Samples,,
ranging in qualities irom $1 50 to
$2 50, choice at 75c.
SMALL ARTICLES.
each or 10c
A large lot Japanese Fold,
ing Fans. A sample lot f rora '
au importer; values 15 c to
35c, choice 8c each.
PARASjL SALE!
NOVELTIES!
Fine quality. Samples of ania.
porier, all Silk, or Silk Crepe. 0 r
Lace covered or Satin values iron
$8 00 to $12 00, choice $4 00;
90 Fine B:ack Satieen ’ruffljj
edges value $i 25, choice i6c.
1 lot Satteen or Gingham Par&aoU
at 35 c.
Palmetto Fans at ic
per doz n.
Folding Fans 2c each.
Pearl Buttons ilc a d zcn.
Pma lo a paper or 10c tor 1 dizaa
pipers.
Neddies lea paper or 10c for 1 doz
en papers
Hair pins l£o a paper or 3 papers
for lOe;
Envelopes 3c a package for 25c
envelopes;
Note Paper, good quality 3c a
quire;
Toilet Soap, delightful perfumed,
2c each.
GROCERIES
From 7 to 10 o’clock,
Your GROCERY SUPPLY
Fail Not to Lay In!
22 lbs Granulated Sugar for $100-
5 lbs G een Coffee f i. $1 00; ’
6 lbs Rice for 25c;
15 bars Soap, large siz-*, for 25c
12 bars Soap for 25 c;
25 lb Sacks Flour for 26c, or lei
pound.
Fine Patent Flour If c a pound;
Finest Patent Flour 2u a pouad,
Don’t f>rget the Coupon
on .he Furniture or Gold Fnleu
Watch free of charge.
FREE OF CHARGE.
A handsome framed Oil Pictat
on your purchase of five dollars Dry
Goods bargains
I
I boarded a train some time ago«n
Sunday afternoon to go down to a city
some twenty miles south of me to
reach on that Sunday night. The
MAX
817 TO 383 BROAD STREET,
Baptist deacon. I asked him how be
could reconcile his Sunday work with
his Christian profession. He asked me
how could 1. a minister of the Gospel,
ride on a Sabbath train. I replied that
if I was going along to my appoint
ment afoot and the devil came along
going my way I would get on him and
ride him as far as he went my way.
The conductor laughed heartily and
went on his way.
I believe the United States Con
gress ought to enact a law forbidding
the hauling of mailB on Sunday, and
that no railroad in the United States
ought to turn a wheel on the Sabbath
day. I believe their men would he
more efficient, and I believe equaUy as !
much traffic could and would be moved
on the six days of the week as they
now move on seven. It has been
demonstrated that a man can do more
work in six days than in seveD by rest
ing the seventh. If a man can, why
cannot a railroad?
Very few railroad men have I found
in all my travels who were in favor of
Sunday trains, and many of thejgener-
al managers have the same opinion;
that nothing is made hut frequently
much lost by the desecration of the
Sabbath.
Twice in the last few months I have
sat near a passenger who offered money
to the conductor to pay his fare. The
conductor said: “I will just collect your
fare to the next station, and then you
must get off and buy a ticket.” Twice
I have seen the passengers get off the
train and buy their tickets and heard
their comments, saying: “This is a
their best side and show yourself ap
preciative as they show you kindnesses.
The conductors on freight trains de
serve more than passing notice. While
their responsibilities are not so heavy
and while they do not have to deal
with the captious, criticising public, yet
they have their schedules to make; their
meeting points to reach; their duties
and their dangers, which are many. Of
course nearly all the passenger con
ductors have been freight conductors
first. With best wishes for the Brother
hood of Railroad Conductors, I bespeak
for them a wanner place in the hearts
of the people, and more consideration
for them and their noble mork.
• Sam P. Jokes.
kins ten minutes to convince uu»u
that he had not murdered his wife.
Maria, however, as soon as she was vis
ible straightened things out, but some-
how Simpkins feels that neither the
hired girl, the baker, the milkman,
nor the policeman look upon him as a
man of great brain power.—Detroit
Free Press.
A TRUE GHOST STORY.
SHOT THE GOBBLER.
strange conductor.” These incidents
occurred on the same road. Again, I
saw the passenger hand the conductor
a flve-dollar bill. The conductor took
it and said; ‘‘I will hand you the
change later.” I, having a slight ac
quaintance with the fellow, said:
Why do you not travel on mileage.
How » Kub Youtli Learned a Very Tain*
able Lesson,
It was a time of Indian raids, and
the settlers in the neighborhood of
Clarksburg, Va., were living in the fort
for safety. One morning a famous hun
ter and Indian fighter, Jesse Hughs by
name, saw a lad intently at work put
ting his gun in order.
“What are you about, Jim?” -asked'
Hughs.
“I am going to shoot'a turkey that I
hear gobbling out on the hillside,” the
boy answered.
“I hear no turkey.”
“Listen! There, didn’t yon hear it?"
“Well,” said Hughs, “I’ll go and UU
it.” - *
“No, you won’t,” said the boy. “It’s
my turkey; I heard it first”
“Oh, well,” said Hughs, “yon know
I’m the best shot But you may have
the turkey after I shoot it”
The boy agreed to this, and Hughs
stole out of the fort on the Bide op
posite to the sound, and taking a course
along the river, came up a ravine which
brought him behind the place from
being a traveling man?” He “I • which the gobbling had proceeded.
G
travel cheaper than mileage; cadi is
better than the thousand mile tiokets
at twenty dollars apiece.” I said to
him: “You have gone in copartnership
with this conductor to steal from the
railroad. He lets you travel at a cent
and a half a mile, and yon steal a cent
and a half a mile from the railroad and
the conductor the other cent and a
half.” He said he could see no harm
in the transaotion; but, In point of
fact, a man who will beat a railroad
or go in with a dishonest conductor to
defraud the railroad out of its three
cents a mile for his traveling would he
dishonest anywhere and everywhere if
opportunity was given nr chances of
fered.
Really a man who is not honest ev
erywhere is not honest anywhere. A
man who is not honest in everything
is not honest in anything. A potato
cannot be sound with even rotten
specks on it.
Thousands of these men run their
trains down to old age and die at last
with scarcely enough money to bury
them. All in all they are a noble body
of men. The Order of Railway Con
ductors is a noble order. It gives cul
ture and tone to their moral and intel
lectual lives, and makes them compar
able in any respect to any other order
or class of men in all our land. They,
too, like the engineers, love their
homes, their wives and their children.
The conductor who does not place his
wife and children in a cozy, pleasant
little cottage home and take good care
of them is an exception. I have al
ways maintained that a man who loves
his home and cared for his wife alone,
had noble traits and redeeming princi
ples.
Let ns who travel on their trains he
courteous and kind to them. Their
cares are many; they need our kind
words, our encouraging expressions.
ipnductorof J-he train _was a faithful 1 apdpur sympathy .Cultivate them on
U J
There, as he expected, he saw an In
dian sitting on a chestnut stump in the
midst of the sprouts, gobbling and
watching. Hughs crept up and shot
him, and taking his scalp, when back
to the fort.
“There, now," said the boy, “you
didn’t get the turkey after alL n
“Yes, I did,” said Hughs, and ha
threw down the scalp.
Jim had had a narrow escape, and
also he had learned a lesson.—Youth’s
Companion.
The Bequest of the Apparition Was Oar*
ried Out to the letter.
Hera is a ghost story—one of a large
class., and, therefore, perhaps more
likely to bo veracious. It has an ap
pearance of strict and even narrow
truthfulness. There was a certain
CapL Blomberg, of some regiment un
known, on active service in America.
Five or six of his brother officers, he
being engaged on duty two hundred
miles away, were dining together. The
door was opened and Capt. Blomberg
appeared, to everybody’s surprise.
Without speaking, he walked in and
sat down in a vacant chair. They all
asked him how he came there.
To their questions he made no reply;
then one of them said: “Blomberg,
are yon mad?”
On this he rose and replied: “When
yon «ro back to Londoh, take my son to
the queen* and beg her to be his pro
tector.”
This said, he walked out of the
room as he had come in. A few days
afterward the news came that he had
been killed in action on the very day
and at the same hour of his appear
ance.
It is pleasing to record tbai the
queen on whose favor the gallant offi
cer may have had some claims, did
protect the son, who became chaplain-
in-ordinary to his majesty, Deputy Clerk
of the King’s Closet,Canon Residentiary
of St. Paul’s, and Vicar of St. Giles,
Cripplegate.—Walter Besant, in The
Queen.
AN IRISH
HANNAH WAS AROUSED.
Simpkins, Bin Hired Girl, and the Harly
Morning- Callers.
“Marla,” said Simpkins, as he looked'
up at the sunlight streaming through
the window, “do you suppose the girl
has got up yet?”
Mrs. Simpkins listened for a moment,
and not hearing anything breaking in
the kitchen, replied: “No.”
“I’ll call her,” replied Simpkins, as
he slipped out of bed and into the hall
way and shouted: “Hannah!”
But Hannah slept on, and Simpkins,
after repeated calls, prayed softly to
himself, and bruised the skin of his
hands knocking on the door. Then
he came hack and talked vigorously to
Maria about hired girls, and hers In
particular.
‘Til wake her np," he finally said,
gleefully, and then he got out his 14-
caliber revolver and broke his teeth
getting the ballets out of two cart
ridges. Then he hustled out again
into the hallway and fired a salute at
Hannah’s door, followed by another.
In an instant he heard Hannah scream
from the kitchen below. She was np,
and had been for half an hour. Con
sequently she it was who let the big
policeman, the baker and the milkman
In at the front door, and it took Simp-
BULU
Thought In
HER BONNET.
When meeting bells began to toll.
And pious folk began to pass.
She deftly tied her bonnet on.
The little sober meeting lass.
Ail in her neat, while curtained room, be
fore her tiny looking glass.
So nicely, round her lady cheeks.
She smoothed her bands of glossy hair
And innocently wondered if -
Her bonnet did not make her fair.
Then sternly chid hei-Toolisb heart for har
boring such fancies there.
So square she tied the satin strings.
And set the bows beneath her elan.
Then smiled to see how sweet she looked.
Then thought her vanity a sin,
And she must put such thoughts away be
fore the sermon should begin.
Bnt sitting *neath the preached word.
Demurely in her father’s pew.
She thought about her bonnet still—
Yes, all the parson’s sermon through—
About its pretty bows and buds, which bet
ter than the text she knew.
Yet sitting there with peaceful face,
The reflex of her simple soul.
She looked to be a very saint—
And maybe was one, on the whole—
Only that hey pretty bonnet kept away the
aureole.
—Mary E. Wilkins in St. Louis Republic.
‘BEWARE THE BOMB”
I shook myself free of the genaarme'i
grasp, and knocking over two or thm
people in my flight dashed madly awaj,
hut was stopped by two custom hou j
officers, who seized me by the collar. 11
was dragged, protesting and gesticulat
ing, back to where my trunk esooi
There was evidently a mistake «oa»j
where.
“Let me go,” I cried, “let mop!.
And I swear I will come hack in a
i would he worthy of a genius! Now, iw«
is a train which leaves Havre tomorrow
morning at 6:55 and reaches the St. ’
Lazare station at 11:30. The time fixed
for me to meet the fellow at the office of
The Semaphore just behind the Stock
Exchange is before the first, stroke of
noon. I can easily go from St. Lazare to
the Exchange in,eight minutes in a cab,
so there is nothing’ to prevent my appear
ing in the nick of time, just as Phi lens
Fogg aid, after making every one’s heart i hour’
palpitate with suspense. That’s settled ! The gendarme’s lips described a asik I
I shall not go on until tomorrow)’’ behind his thick mustache as ho tod
Accordingly I went with my baggage j possession of mo again, this time vrilh
to the best hotel, dined comfortably, took I both hands,
a walk through the town, smoking a . “Come, now, don’t try that,” j
cigar, and returned at It) to go to bod. I one of the railway officials. ‘‘Yon mi; J
“I must take the 6:55 train tomorrow ; as well confess. You arrived fromNef i
morning,” I said to the hotel proprie- 1 York in groat haste and under sospi-
tor. “Cau you have me wakened In 1 cions circumstances. Who are jot'
time?” ; What have you in this trunk?"
“We have a trustworthy man on’pur- j “Clothes, nothing but my clothes,”!
pose for that work, ” was the reply. answered, speaking worse French to
(M Hntly Put the Same
Another Way.
Two friends, both tramps, but one
from green Erin and the other from
the land of sauerkraut and beer, one
night, excessively hungry, had’ struck
a farmhouse, the owner of which would
give them a lodging, hut no food; bo to
bed they .went, sapperless.
About twelve o’clock Hans got np
and went softly down to the pantry.
Having eaten a hearty meal, he re
turned, being compelled to pass through
the farmer’s bed chamber. When he
got back, Pat questioned him as to how
he had passed Cerberus.
“An’ did ye not wake the ould critter
np?” he asked.
“Ya,” answered Hans; “but I yoost
standt shtill, nnd say: ‘Miaow,Miaow.' ”
“Begorra, but you ought to be an’
Ohishman,” said Pat. “I’ll do the same
me self.” And rising, he went slowly
and cautiously down. But he was no
more successful than Hans. As he en
tered the farmer’s room he stumbled
over a shoe, kicked a chair, and awoke
the. farmer, who cried angrily:
“Who’s there?”
“Oh, lay Bthill.” said Pat; “Ofia thi
eaf/”—Bof»-
Acoordlng to An <-uncameut.
Customer—Seven dollars for this pair
of shoes? Great Scottl The sign in
your window says: “Selling Off Re
gardless of Cost.”
Merchant—That's right
“Regardless of costl See here! T
used to he in the shoe business myself,
and I know this pair of shoes never
cost more than three dollars at whole
sale.”
"That’s all right, my friend. Pm
selling them for seven dollars regard
less of the fact that they cost three
dollars. See?"—Chicago Tribuns.
I was looking over the papers in the
smoking room of a Paris cafe. My eye
chanced to fall upon the ‘‘Echoes of the
Stage” column, and I exclaimed aloud:
“At it again!”
A Frenchman sitting near me looked
np in wonder at my petulant tone, so I
hastened to explain, speaking fluently in
very bad French:
“ ‘Round the World In Eighty Days’
is on the boards again. Will they ever
have done with that absurd affair? They
seem to think it a feat equal to the la
bors of Hercules."
The Frenchman looked shocked.
“Phileas Fogg was no better than a
tortoise!” I cried boastfully. “I could
do much better than he”
“You can go around the world in less
than 80 days?” asked my hearer slowly,
and I answered in the ssmo tone:
“I will go round the world in 70 days
if you like.”
“I take yon upl” he cried.
“What do you bet?”
• “Five thousand francs. ”
“Done,” said I, and we exchanged
cards and bows.
That was how it came about that I
left Paris for the eas£-qn tho 5th of Jan
uary and stepped on board a transatlan
tic steamer from a New York pier on
the 6th of March. So far I had not lost
a minute, aud now it only remained to
be seen whether I should reach Havre in
seven days, as the steamship company
promised. It would be a close shave at
best. A variety of detentions might oc
cur. A slight accident to the machinery,
and all wonld be lost.
I was nearly consumed with anxiety,
bnt the ship acted up to her reputation,
and on the 12 th of March I stepped once
more on to French soil.
I oast the ship a .look of gratitude as
she lay at the Havre pier letting off steal i
from her monstrous boiler.
Then I glanced at- my watch. It w:- s
4 in the afternoon. There was plenty
time for me to dine at my ease and catch
the 6:40 express. That would bring me
to Paris at half past 11.
I took out my time table to make
sure. As I ran my eye on the column of
figures, an inspiration came to me.
“Where’s the use of starting this
evening?” I said to myself. “If I get
there too early, it will look as if 1 were
afraid of losing the wager. How much
better to arrive at the very last second,
_ with brilliancy and dash and dramatic
J effect, just as they do on tho That
“That may he, ” said I skeptically;
“but, after all, if yon could let me have
an alarm dloclt, I would feel more safe. ”
“I will lend you my own, although I
assure you it is unnecessary, ” said the
host, and accordingly 1 carried the tiny
clock to my room, wound the alarm, set
it at 6, stood it on a little table beside
the bed and went to sleep with a quiet
mind.
usual in my agitation.
“No explosives?” insisted the officii
“Explosives! What for? I am ceil
pyrotechnist nor a chemist. ”
“Then what is the meaning of tin ,
Gttange noise? Inside your trunk that:
is a sound of machinery—in short, a I
infernal machine. Yesterday the Louie*
police arrested four American anarehi.* |
who had similar articles in their posa» I
I was iu a heavy slumber when I felt, sion. You are known to be one
IV nr in hoimr clinVnn n’ nl nntlv * cyn.no* * *
of to |
my arm being shaken violently.
“What’s the. matter?” 1 grumbled
without opening my eyes.
“You have only just time, sir,” said
a voice in my ear.
“Time for what?” I asked, looking
np drowsily.
“To catch your train, ” was the reply
I sat np and glanced at the clock. It
was half past 6!
Without another word, 1 leaped from
the bed with such precipitation that 1
throw down tho table with the little
clock, dashed into my clothes, crowded
my few belongings into my trunk fran
tically, flew down the stairs four at a
time, sprang into the stage which was
awaiting me, hardly drew breath until
I was on the train.
Oufl What a close squeeze! Two min
utes more, and I would have lost my bet
However, all’s well that ends well. 1
had my ticket; my trunk was on the
train; the whistle sounded. I was off for
Paris.
When I entered the St. Lazare station,
the hands of the big clock pointed to
half past 11. I hailed a cab aud learned
that there was rime for me to take my
trunk with me.
At that moment it appeared in the
arms of two porters, who were carrying
it with the greatest care. Confound
them, how slow they were 1 What fool
ever accused the railway companies of
handling baggage roughly? I hastened
toward the men, exclaiming:
“Be quick now!”
I had hardly uttered the words when
a heavy hand was laid on my shoulder,
and turning round to see the cause of
such familiarity I found myself fiice to
face with a gendarme.
“What is the matter with you?” I
asked in amazement.
“Matter enough, “replied the man in
a jeering lone, lightening iiis hold. “You
will seel”
Behind the gendarme came two rail
way officials. They stooped over my
trunk solemnly, turned their heads as if
listening, then stood up and exchanged
a glance, which plainly said, “There is
no doubt of it ”
* ‘They are crazy, ” I thought, bnt then
a horrible conviction flashed through my
brain.
Whether the men wore sane or not,
one thing was sure, it was 40 minutes
past 11.
At all hazards I must make my escape.
gang- .
I listened in speechless wonder to W j
words. I looked at my trunk, and a? j
wonder increased to stupefaction as* i
heard a metallic ticktack inside. Sw |
denly there was a loud report, like at?- j
nal for an explosion. i
“Beware the bomb!” shrieked sert j
one. Officers and porters scattered in »■*
directions, and even the gendarme mm* I
away. I alone remained, like a hem 1
tore open thi trunk and pnlled outs*I
clothes in feverish haste. All at 03C *. 1 2
felt something hard inside a i _
and the next moment drew out Bade*'j
posed to view a little clock! j
I had unknowingly packed upth*^|
tel keeper’s property, and it was s
ing the alarm six hours behind,I
“Confound the old turnip!”
throwing it down furiously- * <
answered by a loud peal of laughi
the spectators. . ..
Then, putting my head down. , j
wild boar that scents the
dashed toward the cab again and tP'** I
in, shouting to the driver: .
“I’ll give you a louis if j
to Place de la Bourse before noon- j
Seven minutes and a half late* ’ I
was tearing np to the Stock E* 0 " ^1
I jumped out, flew up stairs to j
Semaphore office, burst into the • I
like a hurricane and remarked w*
tori an tone:
d
“Here I am, gentlemen!”
The next instant the first
noon sounded from the exchwg^' ^i
—Translated From the French g
Will India’s Mint* Bo
London, April 27.—Thecircula^^
a rnmor that the Indian mint* i
opened within a few weeks b** c
some speculation in silver in
tion of that event. The r ntc t °. Wj
that the mints will be reoper.od .
bnt if they are reopeneu at au: ,_ .Ai
able that the date of their op
be much more remote than tna*
Wanted to Attend His Stetert
Hillsdale, Mich., April 'll-''
Schrutt, whose time in state p
sheep stealing is nearly up, ,
tramped to this city to . ( J
ter’s birthday party. He hw
he had won 1
ShH