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PAGE SIX-A
Hal Boyle
The Poor Man’s Philosopher
THE MAN WHO LEARNED
HOW TO MAKE GOLD
NEW YORK, — (AF) — Once
upon a time there was a man
who learned how to make gold.
He was a poor boukkeeper,
tired of poverty and weary of
keeping other men’'s bouks. :
“Why cén't 1 learn how 1o
make gcld’” he asked himself
one day. "Man can do anything
he sets his mind to. The Ger
mans make hutter from coal, we
make bombs from atoms.”
He didi’t want to make enough
geld to throw the “world’s money
systems out of kilter. No, he in
e huen. 10 keep his discovery—
when he made it-—a secret. He
just planned to turn out enough
gold for his own modest needs. A
million here, a million there.
So he went to a departimént
store and bought hims<lf a chem
istry set. He wore out the seat of
his pants at the oublic library
reading volumes on alchemy andl
transmutation of metals. Finally
he decided that the easiest thing
to turn into gold was quicksilver.
“All I have to do is find a way
1o make it jell and turn yellew,”
he said.
Sets Up Lab
He set up a laboratory in his
basement and went tc work.
Evening after evening he labor
ed there alone past midnight.
Feverishly he stewed up stinking
messes of chemicals until his
home smelled like a glue factory.
Into each batch he hopefully’
poured a iittle quicksilver—with
no result.
His quest became a mania. He
quit his job after the 3,0015 t un
successful experiment. After that
he stayed in the basement night
and day. He grew thin and hag
xard.
One morning his wife came in
to the laboratory as he was about
to begin his 5999th experiment.
He was out of fancy chemicals
and had only kitchen ingredients
left. i A WRE
He poured the last of his quick
silver into a mortar. He put in a
pinch of salt and a spoonful of
baking soda. Idly he stirred this
batch with his finger. Then his
wife said quietly:
“There isn't a penny left in
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6:ss—News,
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the baby's bank, dear. There
isn’t a scrap of food in the
house, and I know you are hun
gry'n
Tears Towed
The tears brimmed into her
eyes. The man looked up and
sald:
“Why, honey, you're crying.”
He reached over with his
blackened finger to wipe a tear
from her cheek. As he touched it
the tear turned to a bright hard
yellow. |
“Giold!” screamed ‘the man.
“Cold at last!” ]
He ran next door and borrow
ed an onion. He peeled it and held
it up to his wife’s eyes. :
“Cry!” he commanded her. The
onion brought the tears, all right,
but when he dropped them into
the mixture-—nothing happened. |
Maddened, the man grabbed !
{Hs wife’s wrist and twisted it
icruelly.
| “Cry}” he said. “Cry some,
more! 1 hate to do this, honey,
but maybe it is tears of pain that
make gold. I have to know.”
The pezin tears came. He let
the small globules of his wife’s
agony fall into mortar. Nothing.
It was the mixture as before.
The man gave a mighty oath of
‘despair. He picked up the mortar
and crashed it down on the stone
table, sm{n]shlng it to fragments.
And then h 2 ran upstairs.
The loyal wife watched him g 9,
and pity for him replaced her
pain. She bent over the table and
wept for him alone—the nusband
she loved.
And as they fell into the spill
ed mixture, drop by drop, the
tears turned to the color of the
morning sun —the pure bright
gold of compassion.
Moral: A wife with a 24-karat
heart is the poor man’s true
wealth.
There are two living species of
walrus, one found in the Atlantic,
the other in the Pacific.
The polar bear is the most
dreaded natural enemy of the
walrus. g
I:4s—The Guiding Light (CBS).
2:oo—Feminine Footnotes.
2:ls—Perry Mason (CBS).
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4:30 et Acquainted Huor,
yfizqozg.mgte'%fin. €
s:ls—Sleepy Joe. 7
65:30—Sports Parade,
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(CBS).
WRFC PROGRAM
960
SUNDAY |
7:ls—Sign On. |
7:ls—Sunday Serenade, | |
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MONDAY ¢
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9:3o—Show Tune Time.
9:4s—~The Feminine Agenda. 4
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10:30—Novelty Tune Time. |
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11:00—Chuck Wagon.
11:45—Leon and Red.
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Summary.
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2:oo—Pat O'Brien.
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2:3O—U. S. Marine Ban®&,
2:45—0n the Novelty Side,
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3:3o—Closing Market I
Quotations. ‘
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Guard Capt®™ Watkins attachment which lights as fish is hooked.
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COPR. 1949 BY NEA SERVICE, INC. T. M. REC. U. &, PAT, OFF.F 2-//
I don't mind so much having to look at their home movies,
but I'm getting sick and tired of buying popcorn from
their kid's machine!”
| Flightless Bird l
2 Continued i 3
stories #E
3 Former b
Russian ruler
4 Right (ab.)
sElectrified -+
partieles
6 Indian
7 Warmth :
8 Misplace
9 Apud (ab.) ‘
10 Plexus |
11Clutches gh
12 Diners 3 ;
17 Egyptian %% )
sun god R
25 Not closed |
26 Scottish caps 1
27 Weight of
HORIZONTAL
1 Depicted bird
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13 Replace 3
14 Musical drama
15 Age
16 Approaches
18 Make an
edging. . ;
19 Atmosphere
20 Bristles |
21 Comnass point.
22 Ambnr,‘ :
23 Pair (ab.) ;
24 Deer track '
27 Hurl ‘
29 Mineral spring:
30 Mystic 3
syllable 1
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ST I lirl ily
31 Measure of
type
32 Hawaiian
wreath
34 Transgressions
36 Crafts
38 Credit note
(ab.)
39 Exclamation
40 Royal
Historical
Society (ab.)
42 Calyx leaf
47 Winglike part
48 Dine ‘
49 Kind of bear .
50 Clamp l
51 Fragrant |
oleoresin |
53 Fantasy
55 Satan |
56 Check
VERTICAL
1 Mountain
nymphs
OUR BOARDING HOUSE
EGAD, MARTHA! LOOKING CAN'T YOU DREAM UP ENOUGH YA
AHEAD, T'NE JUST MADE A SHORT CIRCUITS YOURSELF
VA CANNY INVESTMENT 10 SAFE-) WITHOUT FINDING ANOTHER L 7
7/} GUARD OUR FUTURE ~~ 2] FUSE-BLOWING SPECIALIST ® fi
7 _PURCHASED A BLOCK OF TO HELP Z ««THAT SCHMALZ
h ®3HARES IN A SMART 7\ LOOKED To ME LIKE SOME
INVENTION BY THAT 7\ STRAGGLER INTHE SAHARA,
=\ INGENIOVS ENGINEER, 77 WAITING FOR A o
GABRIEL SCHMALZ - TRAMP STEAMER ! /< _~
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45 Genus of
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52 “Show Me
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54 Area measure
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28 Sheaf 4
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43 Daybreak !
—With MAJOR HOOPLE
VIC FLINT
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OUT OUR WAY
WAIT... \ [/ OKAY-- HOLY GET IN THERE QUICK
READ WHERE SMOKE ! AN’ BE READY TO SAVE
THAT DID I NEVER HIM FROM AN ACCIDENT/
OVER/ YOu SAW TH' HE'S TRYIN' WITH
IDOZED | | HEAR | / BuULL OF PSYCHOLOGY TO STOP |
OFF.. 102 TH' WOOPS \_ DESK LOUNGERS, //
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DANGEROUS MEDICINE i ULI
BY MICHAEL O’'MALLEY and RALPH LANE
THE MAN WAS SURE RIGHT ) f DID YOU BRING HOME
WHO SAID THE BEST 4 YOUR CHECK,
THINGS IN LIFE B\ DEAR? ////
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I""mllfl L : L GK® cOPR. 1949 BY NEA SERVICE, INC.
IN THE GROOVE, HEY? s s Y 12
YOUR SON HAS A BRIGHT | BT e ) 3&'{
. FUTURE/ #l _
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2. COPR. 1949 BY NE. RVIGE. 1N M. REC. U. PAT. OFF. V;{,_,-_
SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 20, 1949,
BY AL VERMEER
BY EDCAR MARTIN
BY MERRILL BLOSSER
BY V.T. HAMLIN
BY LESLIE TURNER
—With J. R. WILLIAMS
