Newspaper Page Text
PAGE TWELVE
Poor Man's Philosopher Tells
How To Break Up A Cockfail Party
By HAL BO¥LE
NEW YORK — (AP) — Do you
want to be remembered forever?
You cap. And you odn’t have to
win fame by giving $98,000,000
to Goosegrease College. Or by bat
ting 61 home runs in a year. Or
by swimming the English Chan
nel blindfolded with vour legs tied
behind your neck.
No, all you have to do is this—
Simply figure out a way to break
up a eocktail party on time. Do
this and a grateful nation will pay
homage to your memory. In fact
T'll erect a statue in your honor
in my own living room.
For one of the growing prob
lems of our generation is how to
get a cocktail party to end the
same day you start it.
The cocktail party has a simple
function in modern society, Its
basie purpose is to pay off social
debts.
Your wife says, “We haven’t had
Housework
Easy Without
Naggingßackache
As we get older, stress and strain, overs
exertion, excessive smoking or exposure to
cold sometimes slows down kidney funce
tion. This may lead many folks to com
plain of nagging backache, loss of pep and
energy, headaches and dizziness, Getting
up Msfiu or frequent passages may result
from rinor bladder irritations due to ¢old,
dampness or dietary indiseretions,
If your disccmiorts are due to these
eauses, don't wait, try Doan’s Pills, a mild
diuretie, Used successfully by millions for
over §9 years, While these symptoms may
often otherwire occur, it's amazing how
many times Ooan’s give happy relief —
hel» the 15 r.iles of kidney tubes and filters
flush out * aste, Get Doan’s Pills today!
HOV/I ANYONE CAN HAVE
PI:NTY OF KOT WATER
e ) Q u ICK
o V’Z
£ R ek R
S o AR e
P oY |ol Ty }
W PR N 3
. ‘3‘ ‘v;, b
e - ¥ 8
2 MW POCHET-SIZE PORTABLE
WATER HEATER €OSTS LESS THAN $2.50
HEATS FAST AS GAS
Merely place ortable FAST-WAY Water
Heater in.a rquppgcle containing water. Plut
in nearest sockgt UPresto! Heats water (1\!}0
for bathing, scr , washing, ete. Also ciean
ing wilk separatéfy, etc.—speed depending on
ml{“m lgat 6s average gas burner. No
to build or hot water to carry—no running
up and down stairs. No dirt, no muss, no top
b&d bills. P%nd)‘! Inexpensive! Now costs
less 82 5. Caution! Read directions be
fore using. For sale byv—
Chrisfian Hdw. Co.
597 E. Broad St.
CANDIATE FOR GCOVERNOR
to hold huge political
in Athens, Monday night, June 26
at corner of College Ave. and Clayton St.
at 8 p. m,
BE PRESENT
and hear the following issues discussed:
EDUCATION
Financing Minimum Education Foundations
Separate schools for negroes;
Vocational schools for those not going to college.
HIGHWAYS
Hard surfacing school bus and mail routes
Building highways that will stand the traffic.
OLD AGE PENSIONS
Providing SSO a month for old age pensioners
£ ECONOMY
) Reducing state employees by 1500
| TAX REVISION
Reducing gas tax, cigarette tax, gasoline tax
Abolishing nuisance taxes
!'nacting a three percent sales tax with no ex
ceptions.
PON'T MISS
THE FAT BAKER RALLY!
Mayor Jack Welis will preside
Roger Hazen, councilmen fiom the sth Ward,
will introduce FAT BAKER.
RALLY will be broadcast over WGAU at 8 p. m.
and 27 other stations throughout Georgia.
SUPPORT THE HOME TOWN CANDIDATE
DA T AR AR s s oty wanseareuE es AR
anybody at our house for ages.”
So you suggest a cocktail party.
That way you can have a bunch
of people over and discharge all
your social obligations at one
time| e
“All right,” says the wife. “But
remember—+we’ll have to break it
up early.”
Out go the little inwvitation
notes: “Cocktails at our joint on
Friday—from 5 p. m. to 7 p. m.”
You put the time in on purpose,
hoping that some of your friends
can read. But apparently none
can.
You invite 15 friends and they
bring along their friends who fer
ry in their aquaintances, too. By
six o'clock a count of the house
shows 40, of whom you and your
wife prohably know about 12.
Deadline Hour
The deadline hour of 7 passes
unnoticed. At 8 p. m., six guests
leave—bu! only bzcause they are
pampering their ulcers. By 9
o’clock everyone is in a singing
rendood, and the place is still pack-
By 10 o'clock they have eaten
everything in your icebox and
downea all your liguor stock. So
you borrow all your next door
reighhor's liquor—and he joing
the party, too.
At 11 your wife cries out in
subtle gayety:
“Why don’t we all go together
and have suppgr somewhere!”
Nobody moves. But singly and
pairs they begin to roll out short
1y after midnight.
From then on your task is to
weed out the late-staying types.
These are (1) the Martini man;
(2) the maiden who simply loves
Manheattans; (3) the stasher, and
(4) the sampler.
And you are stuck with them
until the kitchen runs dryv.
You then can wrap the Martini
man and the Manhattan-gulping
maiden acound each other and
push them out the door. This is
all right—they won't remember it
the next day. You simply have to
outwit the stasher; who keeps
reaching under the sofa and pull
ing out hidden drinks. The same
thing is true of the sampler, who
goes around lapping up half-fin
ished drinks left by the other
guests and murmuring. “I put my
glass down somewhere. 1 wonder
if this one is it.”
When they finally. leave and
you crawl wearily toward the bed
room, you discover the fifth and
last type—the sleeper. He is
sprawled, snoring, in the middle
of your bed. And there is nothing
you can do about him. You don’t
even know who he is.
So you and your wife bunk
down with some blankets on the
living room rug. It is dawn, and
a robin outside sings a morning re
quiem for what you had hoped
the night before would be a two
hour cocktail party, :
About 70 percent of the U. S.
foreign investment is in the West
ern Hemisphere,
It has been estimated that about
half of all U. S. citizens are church
members.
ISRAEL’S FOOD CALLED GGOD
~ JERUSALEM— (AP) — Lord
Boyd Orr, former director-gener
al of the United Nations food and
agricultural organization, thirks
Israelis have a “good menu.”
He so told Dr. Dov Joseph, min
ister of supply and rationing, dur
ing a visit to Israel. Lord Boyd Orr
examined the food lists prepared
by the minister and said the pres
ent food rations were sufficient to
maintain the health of the Isrealis.
Israelis long have complained
about a 7T-ounce individual week
ly meat ration and & steady diet
of frozen fish, potatoes, carrots
and peas. They also get some eggs.
Black walnut is a favorite wood
for gunstocks.
Black Walnut trees grow best in
deep, rich, moist soil.
W,
o G »
eeß e S
¢ - - @
b, g G 4 e '
i s Voo g ,;;_?:,::;-.,';»:3;5;:?-“ . g::;,._<‘4§::_2;':::»‘;.:z.:.:;'if;;::;,\’;n_ s s 7 s -
A G %/"%‘fi g e k / :
B G e Vios Se S S ‘. L v '
e Bgvy,» .e e v haa i. ': . |SR v. | ‘
GAsLW2 Vs il B 8 Zonos e S Ry S g GoSR T T 4
g 4 s Ciies sI P eoi - A ik o . o eT « :
o ?{ i,, 25 e ::,- )%”/ ‘/’"*'*V,*wfv ;o5 . . 0 .. :
- L e aoy o e e A . ol
Fe %’/2& ffhlsi i i . };‘f,r . ,'?{'-3’o" L b o T o S s J.:"E-‘:’:;;é';. ; £ e i S
iA, i fra o gs o s A R eb=g 5 .Lo :‘.
% Q"é,g;-‘/: 7d T g Gae B % "’fi Y g A e o . o bl
g,//f‘,, A 4 Gég 5 A ,{’»” SB S ¥.l ‘§y o i
bty i L 4| v 7 S A R GTR LT e Be | RS (s
i ';At.v.,.:(/,/_,x:’,.,,é,,:/’ i 9 :,/,,’,g»;f,%’f 1&/ i Tge e e gGO R S
s : . : ; R s 2 S o
s, 8 S i
l -~ i B s :
; 7 s o o ;
M ~ A S st
xge ’ . oz e i V G :
,
) G‘NE .
A ®
anrorized’
J Chambray D
q C y Dresses
fr?ffi'i; o ) f’&/S‘\g ~
7 )= N i LAy < 3
3” \ - ?“\fi \ \-~ » =7,
A g / M B ) - N
p 8. 4
/;é‘% qlO i 4% \
(i sh Yo o R 9
— i) &S
e.2g ‘ R o .
f' “7& ,' ‘ . “i L 5%/&%;%',
e W CE 7 T el
st BER BE [ &P S B Ry
e -;4Q Y 4 %
L 8 g ide beos Nord B Wy LA
it B \Ey 0W L %
TR IR L i J’”»»
‘ BE MR / ; NUM Bl R
oißSe: e ET & ¥
‘ ii - R L ey G g
e B (iR T o L R
e Woven stripes...solid colors! ONLY
® Sunbacks. .. street dressesl!
o ® Button front...zipper style!
¥ ® Sizes from 12 to 44! Q@
VALVES
; tShrinkage will not exceed 1%. R
: waay " <e¥ 'W, S A
REMODELING CLOSE - OUT !
WOMEN’S
COTTON DRESSES
One large rack in sizes 12-44,
Ideal for around the house wear! 1000
R e eB R A NS RRBSA RS e R SRR N SRS
REMODELING CLOSE - OUT !
SELF VENTILATING
BATHROOM HAMPERS
for the sabll bathrodlls Lipited bV
quantity !
N
Yy BuUY! B y
TUNITY B 2 oys
OPPORIVE
| = Vat Dyed
- (= spomr
e SHIRTS
I.;_‘ TSk 88¢
< f~ : ' First quelits, high quality
b v\l ’ ; % \ Sanforized! cotton summer
\ fi ; | weight sport shirfs. Siyled
b ': j ; : to wear in or out of trous
- ’ » . ers. Plain, plaid or ncvelly
3 | sl ' e patierns. Full cut sizes 2-8.
THE BANNER-HERZLD, ATHENS., GEORGIA
College Dean To
'Hold Services At
'Christian Church
Dr. Woodrow W. Wasson, dean
of the Christian College of Geor
gia, will be the speaker at the
morning services at the First
Christian Church next Sunday.
Dr. Wasson’s sermon topie will be,
“Labors With God.” ;
He will also deliver theé message
at the evening service with the
topic being “The Dominion of
Man.”
Dr. Wasson has been dean and
professor of the Christian College
of Georgia since its origination
here in 1949. The college is an
institution of higher learning of
the Christian Church, It is lo
cated on Hull Street, adjacent to
the University campus, and offers
religious instruction and guidance
to university students as well as
its own students. i 4
The over-all purpose of the col
lege is to give to the student a
non-sectarian religious orienta
tion to life, whether it be that of
minister or layman in the church
or that of any other vocation.
The life of metal gutters can be
prolonged by applying -a special
rust-resistant paint now on the
market.
The life of metal gutters can be
prolonged by applying a special
rust-resistant paint now on the
market.
100 ONLY
WOMEN'’S
| .COTTON
SKIRTS
83c
Shirred Elastic Waist,
Printed Broadcloth.
R S I A AR DR D
JR. BOYS’
TOP ’N BOTTOM
ISLACK SET'S
et L
Long Pants
) SET
R OB AN PSR DL A S SRR
ONE RACK CF
SHEER COTTON
i DRESSES
| FOR GIRLS
woy i
Sizes T-14. i
Basement Floor
YOU SAVE AT PENNEY’S
To preserve the life of your in
nerspring mattress, avoid bending
or rolling it. Wever beat or stand
it on end. ;
NOTICE OF BIDS
The Athens City Board of Edu
cat.on is calling for bids on the
following projects:
1. Painting interior of Barrow
Schenl,
2. Painting interior Chase Street
School,
3. Building bookshelves at Bar
row Scliool.
Bids to be received June 27.
Bid forms and specifications may
be secured at the office of the
Board of Education,
ATHENS CITY BOARD OF
EDUCATION.
Fred Ayers, Superintendent.
J 21-22,
[rem—— R . LESS WORK WITH | |
f JSGTMENHEE | PLASTIC
b At_,.t_é?}[_:&f }gc/i u’«- 78 '/f_,f‘.}.v:.f..if %;&83; I\ i
| 4’IRl ] KITCHEN
io¥ gfi ‘AP % - Brighten up your kitchen
| ISR eEI Sde
| e NTR L SN Suan e
l. AOTR oA T g _ 7 c]ean. Red and preots;
MATCH THE CURTAINS ABOVE WITH . . . ‘
Plastic Chair Cushion And Back Set |
Fits the Average Dinette Chair! Complete
Colors: Blue, Yellow, Red, Green. 88‘ Set :
100 ONLY
COTTON AND RAYON
1.00
Sheer Batiste and Rayons for summer
wear! Whites and pastels in sizes
82-40, Save! |
Penney’s Ready-to-Wear
. HERE'S A REAL OPPORTUNITY BUY ! !
ENTIRE STOCK OF MEN’S
ical Sui |
Rayon Tropical Suits
A new low on a cool suit for summer weaf! Good
assortment of sizes and eolors. A few slims and 19 8 8
shorts included. =
R T SO A P i R NS 0 A AT s AP S, AR O
'> s V)
L 5
HEADACHES
Relieved Quickly With Fast-acting
“BC” Powders or Tablets
® When you use "BC” for the relief
of simple headaches, neuralgic pains
or minor muscular aches you get the
full relief-giving effectiveness of not
just one, but several of the world's
most popular pain-relieving ingredi
enss. In combination these ingredi
ents are remarkably effective—far
more so than either would be alone.
This is something worth semember
ing when a headache strikes and you
want gelief, and want it in a hurry.
OPPORTUNITY BUY!
SANFORIZED SHRUNK
Underwear
FOR MEN
2 % 1.00
FOR ®
Broadcloth Prints with the snap front
and elastic sides. Sizes 28 to 40 only.
" Shop Early and Save!
THURSDAY, JUNE 22, 1959,
Nowadays when you buy "BC” you
may have it in either tablet or pow.
der form. In both you get the same
famous “BC"” formula—the same fas:
relief, You also get & preparation
that has stood the test of time—one
you can use with complete ¢onfi
dence. Buy"BC" today and use as di
rected. You'll agree that mothing is
more comfosting or relieves faster.
Two “"BC"” Tablets equal one “BC”
Powder. 10¢ & 25¢ sizes.
B A SRO R SRR RO MR T o
MEN'’S
SHORT SLEEVE
- COTTON
SPORT SHIRTS
1.50
Seersuckers you don’t have
to iron and cool Skip-Dents!
Green, blue, tan, grey, and
yellow. &
R R RIS O R