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A Clever English Satirist’s Prophecy of the
r. Tattooed and Tinted Girl of To-morrow
T HE_present epidemic of grotesque fads—the painting of silhouettes on women’s
faces and backs, the dyed wigs, the bizarre dresses, and so on—has prompted
Dion Calthrop, the brilliant English satirist# to write a remarkable prophecy
concerning the girl of to-morrow. It follows.
By Dion Clayton Calthrop.
T HE sleeping figure ot Hiss Brown looked
strangely natural In the' bizarre surround
ings; her green hair flowed over the pil
low and nude a startling contrast against the
black silk sheets. A soft-rolced clock proclaimed
the hour of one,, and on' the stroke the bedroom
door was opened by a maid with magenta open
work stockings and gilt shoes, a white dress
spotted with rough designs ot qxotlc flowers, and
beautifully wared black hair. In which one soli
tary red curl shone Jauntily. She parted the ear.
tains and allowed the sunlight to filter in through
the roseoolorod windows.
One lazily stretched arm beautifully tattoed
showed that Hiss Brpwn was awake.
“One lazily stretched arm, beaaL'fally
tattooed.”
The maid thin wound op the artificial canary,
who proceeded to whistle a naughty little air by
Borak consisting of nine discords. The haunting
melancholy filled the room for a minute and a
half and ceased as abruptly as It had begun.
The bay hand reached Its languorous way to
Hiss Brown's whitened face and brushed back an
Idle green curl that bad strayed across her eyes.
The room had a piquant beauty all Its own. It
had been designed by a young Frenchwoman of
only slz, and had all the wonderful quality of un
spoilt Imagination. The wooden bed of bright red
lacquer stood on gold feeti the black sheets and
ptltows were ot a daiding depth against the cov
erlet of rurple crepe. The floor was of white en
amel. on whloh a glided bearskin and a few sav
age colored rugs lay. The celling was burnished
gold and the walls were a dull gray.
Now fully awake. Miss Brown pressed the con
cealed bell, and when the maid returned demanded
a dry Uartlnl cocktail and her lunch. This done,
she reached out her hand for the Police Gazette
and eagerly ecanned the columns for some thrill
with whloh to stimulate her Imagination. Pres
ently her cocktail appeared, followed shortly by
a lunch of chillies, a devilled sole and some hot
caviare. This she picked at while she sipped a
glass of champagne.
• • e
At a. quarter to three Hiss Brown became pom
seised of a feverish energy; she rose, bathed,
caused her purple wig to be placed over h Jr own
sweet green hair, only allowing one stray but fas
cinating curl to escape and toy with her ear. A
few deztrous touches and her face was ready.
The odd wit of wearing but one eyebrow, the other
having hewn shaved off, gave to her face Just that
grotesque air for which she was so justly cele
brated. From the disorder of her ebony dressing-
table she found the bottle of her own special scent,
and liberally sprayad herself. It was a scent
.many of her boy friends envied, being a secret
concoction of Virginia tobacco and giving out a
'perfume rather like the pit of a music hall. With
a dainty fancy she celled It Essence do Revue.
Hiss Brown eras an experienced woman of
i: . 1
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THE BALL OF THE FUTURE.
■Fflte dogs, Jewelled tortoises sad painted dan ears.”
eighteen, though she owned to twenty-four,
and, but for her July, might have been taken-
for any young man about town.
The last touches ware made to her toilette,
a purple patch placed by one eye, the little
cigars she affected tacked away la their gold
case; the names of three racy horses oo a
slip of paper-all Sorts tor the day—and the
telephone number ot an airman who was
coming to tea wlth bsr at her dob safely
seen lnjo her purse
Then, aa thpdgh the exertion of dressing
had fatigued her, she toolTsome absinthe,
and at last was guided to her car by the
sverettenttve maid.
The Uvsried man-servant, bowed tn great
deferenoe to her aa she sailed through the
portals of the Ebon Club, and now all eyes
were upon her In admiration.
It was a wonderful crowd, the very pick
ot the middle classes, with her and there a
Bohemian earl
Colored Wig, Painted Flee,
Slouch and Grotesque Gown.
This Costume at a Parts
Fancy Ball Did Not Attract
Much Attention Be
cause It Wes Not
Toe Fsr from the
Reigning Feds.
ou Prise, doge of every color
dye could produce lay about oh settees of
cased dally out of the pockets of hlg muff*
Hera a JewoUad tortoise ploughed hie soli
tary way among some breed and butter aU
unnoticed.
But bow the orchestra, discreetly silent
before, broke Into the bored air of a tihgow
aad la a moment an wss changed. AH
gaiety was forsworn. The anxtoui tango
expression dew to every fees. Boy* clasped
comparative strangers to their hearts, dad
with a noble resolve to do or die; threaded
the slow mathematics of the dance.
Hon and there In the Intervals of the
dunces the young men might he seen driafe
lug blemuth-end-soda for their nerves, while
the women toyed with e whtekey-aadcoda
or fed their dogs with chocolates.
But at the very height of the afternoon,
while, la the slightly broken English she aa-.
earned to hide, truth to tell, e suggestion of
e vulgar accent. Miss Brown eras regaling
savsu rapt yauths with an kccount other In
digestion after a conns of cocktails; an
awful thiag happened. Into the room a
stranger Cams, brought In by a young mem
ber, now suddenly aware of bis fktal blonde*
The stranger was a woman, hlg and One
and fair. She was proportioned tflmr a Juno,
with clear grey tree. Bhs wsa full figured
end broad. She was free of paint or powder.
She carried no email dog, she came like
Nature Into tho room and emell of common
rose* she spoke, “This,” Aa said, “would
amuse my children." \
Children I With one wild cry of agonised
disgust. Miss Brown tainted. And man said
afterwards In Bushed whispers that the
stranger's immodesty bad shocked them hm
rood all word*
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*||
I N a lecture before an audience of geog
rapher* and explorera at Queen’s Hall,
London, the great Rudyard Kipling de
scribed with wonderful vivldneis how the
traveler remembered the moat interesting parta
of the world by their characteristic smell. Th*
uf Mr. Kipling’s Sectors follows.
By RUDYARD KIPLING.
(In a Lecture.).
1 WOULD like to-night to try to desl with
soma of tlio more Intimate end personal
stp-cts of travel. They may be trivial or
absurd, but one must remember that In a few
rears most of our existing methods of trans
port. together with the' physical end mental
saouos-.s that accompany them, will be pro
foundly changed.
The time la near when men will receive
•he.r normal impressions of e new count-•• sud
denly and in plane, not slowly end In perspeo-
tlve; when the most extreme distances will be
trough: within the compass of-one week's—
sue hundred and sixty-eight -hours'—travel;
Vhea the word "Inaccessible.’’ as applied to any
f.rcn Bpot oh tha surface of tba globs, a 111
ce »e tu havs any meaning I present myself
to-night, then, as In some sort a recorder of
•rperlences which are on the eva of being so-
fersedod.
I know one man who said he could run any
rozd thit ha had marchod over, backward bo-
Iweea his eyelids, like a cinematograph film,
before ho went to aleep. His companions told
tee that his diary and written work were quite
*td. but that they always took his word for
• ume aad place of any event that had hap-
S^aed on the road. * *
Such a gift aa this—and some motorists
rudiments of It—Stands, at the top ot
» ecale that soda In thosq ‘disappointing men
he. after months of experience. can eommunl-
, 00 mor e than a hiaqy recollection of tha
P Scea Where they got food or water or warmth
,* r Shelter. Punch baa desctlDM this type In
“• man who laid: "Rome—Romo! Wasn’t
, * ,h ® Place where 1 bought tha shocking
“ 4 c, P‘rsr It IS not at all a bad typo to
ksrel With, because It generally glfes all Us
inaction to its own dutioa. '*■
A man who carries too many pictures In his
head is apt to forget vital things like straps
and kettle-lids when the loeds ere being packed.
On ths other hand, I have been enured by
competent authorities that ths camp-cook. If
while, ought to be of a sentimental and Im
aginary disposition. It makes him more gen
erous.
I seem to have resd lately of a cook whose
notion of a twelfth course of a dinner to some
returned voyagers wss ten boxes el sardines
made Into a pile with bacon and pastry to
match.
I have not exactly a theory, hut an Idea, that
first-class leaders of expeditions, however defin
ite and urgent their conception of their worth
either do not visualize too much or keep their
powere of vleuallzetlon under control. At
least, I do not remember to have heard any
men who have led men Into e tight place and
cut again, say to me: 1 could see exactly whit
was going to happen when the canoe swamped
er the bridge broke.” They usually put It:
“When ths bridge broke or the hippo charged,
I did so and so, or gave such and such order*”
And there la reason for that, too. An old
prospector once warned me: "Ae long es
you've only got yourself to think about you
can think as much as you darn wall plessa
When you've other folks' hide to answer tor
you must quit thinking for your own amuse-
mest."
So I should be Inclined io ray that, how
ever greet the strain, responsibility does not
encourage detailed Imaginative excursuses on
the road—or on any road—while the work Is
In hand. Later, when e man Is boiling down
bis log end notes Into book form, he falls baek
on bis store of mental pictures, but In the
actual stress of travel the first-class man as
distinguished from the very firet-claas second-
class man—and this is an Important distinction
—goes not, or decides not to, visualize.
I do not assert that U la Impossible to bold
Intelligent conversation without the help of
an atlas. But I do say that as soon as men
bscln to talk about anything that really mat
ters some one has -to go and get the at lax
And when that has been mislaid or hidden.
It Is Interesting to sea how far ths company
can carry on. acribhllng and ikstchlna In tha
fork-and-tabledoth school, without 11
Copyright.
Myself. I am like ths rest. I only see the
atlas, and that roughly, as fsr as I have used
It Everything outside thou limits Is e cloudy
blur; end the atlas that 1 see In my mind Is
based on the first atlas—a little cheap tint
end yellow one—that I was farced to study.
Other men have told me much the-ssme thief
about their mental atlases, and they all agree
that we visualize our Imaginary travels os from
sea-level, with specially vivid pictures of cer
tain capes aad ports slid land-fall* Naturally,
so fong as we travel by sea wa must embark
from a port anfi look out for the land-falls.
But the time Is not faroff when the traveller
will know and care just as little whether be la
over.sea or land as we, today know and cam
whether our steamer la over forty fathoms os
the Tuicarora Deep, then we shall hear the r
lost porta;Of New Tork end Bombay howling
. like Tarshlih and Tyre. IneldsaMBy, too, we
•ball chsfijfjat QDr mental pictures of travel
Let us consider for e while law HUifillhbl*
the fascinating subject of smalls in their rela
tion to the traveller. (Hero the audience
laughed loudly.).
We shall soon have to exchange them for
bloats of petrol end atomized castor-oil. Have
you noticed Wherever e few travellers gather
together, one or the other Is sure to ray, "Do
you remember that email at such and such a
place 7"
Then he may go on to speak of camel—pure
camel—one whiff of which Is all Arabia; or of
tho smell of rotten egg" at Hitt, on the Eu
phrates, whero Nosh got the pitch for the ark;
or of the flavor of drying fish In Burm* Then
the company begin to purr like cats at valerian,
and, as the books ray. conversation becomes
general. \
I suggest, subject to correction—there ere
only two elementary smells ot onlverul ap
peal—the smell of burning fuel and the smell
of melting grease. The smell that 1* of what
man cooks hie food over, and what he cooks
hls food In.
I rank wood smoke first, since It calls up
more, more Intimate end verted memorle* over
a wider geographical range, to a larger num
ber of Individual! than nny other agent that
we know.
My powers are limited, bnt I think.I would
undertake to transport a quarter of e million
Englishmen to any paint In Booth Africa, from
tha Zambesi to Cape Agullhar, with no more
elaborate.vehicle then a box.of matches. •
string or two or rills cordlt, a brOkta up-Useult
lata, by ths 6tor Company. Oroet Britain lUgbts'Rsssrvi
bo* some chips of s ereosoted railway deeper,’
and n handful ot dried oowdong. and to land
each man la the prod!# spot be had in hie
mind.
And next to wood smoke tor waging rampant
•wanderlust" comes the smell of malting
grease—such a smell or bouquet of smells as
cue zany gather outside a London fried flak
shop. Where groasa is malting, something la
being cooked, and that manna change from
tinned food for put night at ear rot* It Is a*
.opulent, a kaleldciecoplc. a Semitic smell of Im
mense rang* and variety ot color.
Sometimes It reconstructs Mg covered banro
ot weli-etocked cities with the blue bees hang
ing In the dome* or it resurrects little heave*
sent elngle stalls picked up by the roedsld*
where one can buy penny bottles of saaoa of
a paper ot badly Dead ad button*
It Implies camels kneeling to unload; belts
and straps being loosened; contented camp
followers dodging off tn buy snppllea—tnrmoti*
aasafoetld* carry stuffs; men washing their
hands In sand bafors dipping them into (he
greasy pewter platter*
And the next gust or surge of ft may ho
pure Central Asia—thick and choking as but-
ter-lamps before a Tibetan shrine—e Tibetan
shrine, with frost In the air, one star on the
tip of a mountain, and a brown-cloaked BbltyaB
rustling up through dry maizes tel Is to MB •
chicken.
From the seventies to ths sixties rune the
desolate smell of the stranded berg us It ptict
np reeking with ooze gouged off the sen floor*
At the Sixties end down to Labrador It seems
to me we roach kindly timber aad a suggestion
of meat on the hoof. A little lower the W,
peals thicken aad become more complex.
There la n heart-searching little motif ot five
notes—horse, old saddlery, code* fried bacon
and tobacco (from out plug to mails leaf cigar
ettes)—that can carry a man down from high
dry camps In the Bslklrks, or wet one* In the
Oregon, down and down over rad spicy dual
and dead white dost through the eoent of eagw-
brush and sharp peppery euphorbias, down to
the torrid goat-scented south whero tried
beans, tnceni* and the abominable brassy
smell of pulque will pass him oa to all tho (o*
lorn brood ol mangrove foreshore and yellow
fever stinks, until he leaves Ms horse no the
beach, and tha troplos lift on hls heart with
ths wholesome rasp of eun-bakea coral and
dried fish.
Hitherto our life has only taught. tu to love •
what we have suffered for or with. One loves
s stray dog sftsr one has had to pit up with
him for a Bight or two. Bow much more that
earner of tho earth to which wo hare gtrea
cur very hide and health and reputation.
Man ilka a man who has shown l,tT —*Tf •
pleasant fompaalon through a week* wulkte
lour. They worship tho man who, ever thoo-
saads of mile* for hundreds of day* through
renewed difficulties aad effort* has brought
them without frlotloo, arrogance m ■“—■ntr
to tha vMozy proposed, or to tho higher glory
of unshaken defeat.
It la one of tho mysteries of personality that
virtu# should go out of certain men to nplinld
literally' to ennoble their companions eras
while their own nerves an Ilka live wlr* and
their own mouths are full of tho taste of (Men
and fatigue.
But what of the future f Into what ter—
will Utie old-world, foot-proud energy of travel
translate itself under the new caadftieMt
Here la our position. Up to tho present we
have been forced to move In two dimensions by
tho help of the three beasts of harden and •
few lire coals In a pot Now wa perceive that
wo can move la three dimension* end the no*
nbllttlee of our new freedom distract aad dim
turb us la all relations.
Presently—very presently—we shall eeoae
keek and convert two handled miles screen
any pert of the earth Into Its etaadanUoed
equivalent, precisely aa wa convert fire mfiea
with Infantry In oolumn, ten with cavalry es
tha march, twslra In a Capa car* or fifty I* a
car—that la to cay, Into two hoar* Ami
whether there he one desert or e dosen mourn-
tain ranges In that two hundred mllee will add
effect oar time-table by five minute*
Frankly, one Is not so much Interested fig
the achievements ot the future as In the —a
of the present who are already scooting aed
reporting along Its fantastio ekylln* Aft. of
nearly aU. that can ha accomplished by the eld
means has been woaxnd put to general ac
count. Tha old mechanism la scrapped; tho
moods and emotions that went wlth tt follow.
Only the pplrit of man carries on, iinllmad
and unappeasable.
Thera will arise they an sheets* —
•elves area now—risks i
say that Hudson of 8c<
world-wide as Columbus or (JeaU
dreamed to bo made good or 1
decisions to be ratal aa spies,
that which Drake clinched hy
Oats* a little further south.
There is no break tn ths Bn* no loads see
missing; the men ot the present have pagan
the discovery of tho now world with the seas
devoutly careless passion oa their predeeaaaeM
completed tha discovery of the old.
n .
$iS
he met as anal eg