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BUDGET OF FUN. .humorous sketches from VARIOUS SOURCES. \ Born Fisherman—The Gallant Man —'Worse Than Lies—Correct—He Knew She Wouldn’t—Very Simple, Etc., Etc. He ran and he jumped and he rode a swift wheel; He broke all the records worth trying; He bought him a polo and a nickle plate reel, Then he broke the best record for lying. —Troy Press. THE GALLANT MAN'. She—“She was pretty but poor, you say?” He—“Yes; and he took her at her face value. ”—Truth. HE KNEW SHE WOULDVT. Fish Man—“Do you think your wife would like a tine roe shad?” Customer—“No. A person can’t talk and eat shad at the same time. ”— Life. CORRECT. Frank—“What reason have you for asserting that love isn’t blind?” May—“Well, I’ve noticed that his blandest smiles are all for the prettiest girls.’’—Truth. THE RETORT SOOTHING. “Go away!” said the sick man to the doctor. “I’d rather trust myself to a horse doctor than to you.” “Weli, I ndmit you are more in his line than in mine,” said the doctor.— Truth. WHAT HE ASKED FOR. Hojack—“Have you anything in the shape of a dollar you could lend me?” Tomdick—“Yes; here.” “But that’s only a cent.” “Yes; but the shape is all right.”— Truth. WORSE THAN LIES. “Ho you have it in for Smith? What has ho been doing? Telling lies about you?” “No; the dinged thing is he’s been telling the truth about me. ”—New York Press. this VERY SIMPLE. Syms—“I don’t understand question of labor and capital.” Garner— ‘ ‘It’s very simple. Labor wants capital at the least possible ex ertion and capital wants labor at the verv smallest outlay.”—New York Herald. PUTTING IT GENTLY. “No, Marquis, I would be unable to make you happy.” “Vy weel you always perseest to underestimate yourself?” “Well, you see, I’ve been brought up to forget that I am a millionaire’s daughter. ”—Life. DISCOUNT. Hayrick (after the ceremony)— “How much are you going to tax us for this splice?” Parson—“The law allows me two dollars.” Hayrick—“Suppose we say one fifty, and you needn’t kiss the bride?” —Truth. her home with her aunt was often dis turbed by evidence* of the old lady’s indifference to everything but the wel fare of her own material possessions. Ore day in going down cellar for some butter, she tripped and fell heavily quite a distance. The maiden aunt rnshed to the door, and peering down into the darkness, called ont sharply: “D’ye break the dish?” “No 1” thundred back the niece, for once thoroughly aroused. “No! but I will!” and she shivered it with hearty good will against the cellar wall.— Lewiston Journal. SOMETHING IN A NAME. An Englishman, traveling on the Continent, engaged the services of a smart conrier, and on arriving at an inn one evening he sent him for the travelers’ register that he might enter his name in accordance with the Aus trian police regulations. The man re plied that he had anticipated his wishes, and registered him as an “Eng lish gentleman of independent means.” “But how did you write my name?” “I can’t exactly pronounce it, but I copied it faithfully from Milor’s port manteau. ” “But it is not there. Bring me the book. ” What was our traveler’s amazement at finding, instead of a very plain English name of two syllables, the fol lowing portentous entry: ‘ ‘Monsieur Warrantedsolidleather.” — Le Petit Liegeois. AN ANGEL IN DISGUISE. Caller—^ “Only one moment of your valuable time, sir, that is all. I am an agent of the Great American Spread- Eagle Company for the insurance of—” Business Man—“See here ! You are about the fortieth insurance man, of one sort and another, who has called this morning, and I’m about sick—” “Jus’ so, jus’ so; that’s what I thought. That’s why I came. It’s the opportunity of your life, sir. This in surance—” “I tell yon I’m tired and sick of in surance. ” ‘ ‘That’s it. No telling what moment it may strike in. That’s why I called, sir. ” “Eh?” “Yes. I am the agent of the Great American Spread-Eagle Company to Insure Persons Against Being Talked To Death.”—New York Weeklv. johnny’s diagnosis. Little Johnny—“Sammy Slowgo is sick, and the doctors say he can t live.” Mother—“Mercy me! What’s the matter with him?” Little Johnny—‘T don’t know, ’eept he has always been a very good boy.” —Good News. TRYING TO PLEASE. "" Visiting Brother—“Wliat’s this fishy smell?” Struggling Artist—“Fish oil and salt. I’m mixing my colors with it. ” “Phew! What for?” “I’m painting a marine for the ex hibition, and though these hanging committees don’t seem to have eyeR, they must certainly have noses.”—New York Weekly. A LOGICAL CHARGE. He—“I see the man who saturated his wife’s mother with kerosene, then set her afire and called in the neigh bors to look on, has been convicted of murder.” She—“The plea of insanity didn’t work then.” He—“No. The judge charged the jury that nobody but a man of sound mind would do such a thing.”—Life. HOME-MADE PLAYTHINGS. A SAILOR IN COURT. A sailor was a witness, and the cross- examining lawyer asked: “Do you know the plaintiff or de fendant?” Witness—-“Naw; what’s that?” Lawyer—“You don’t know the mean ing of plaintiff and defendant?” “Naw.’* “And yet you would give testimony against the plaintiff? The witness is incompetent from ignorance, your Honor.” “A ’vast heavin’, shipmate. Stand athwart sliijis and let me ask yon a question.” "Go ahead.” ‘ ‘What is abaft of the binnacle ?” “What has that to do with the case? I don’t know.” ‘ ‘A pretty lawyer ye be. Any bloody landlubber ought to know that the compass is abaft the binnacle. ”—Texas Siftings. Couldn’t Frighten That Picket. I was so fortunate as to be appointed corporal that winter, says a writer in Blue and Gray, and the first time I went on picket in that capacity an in cident occurred which, if it was not the origin of a since familiar term, was the first instance of its use within my recollection, though the emphasis at the time was somewhat different than it was after the phrase became a slang expression. It happened that I was detailed with the first relief, and as we rode to the line the corporal of the old picket accompanied us to show me the line and the various posts, to explain the surroundings and transmit to me the orders, and to call in his own men. As we rode along he related a joke that was played upon one of his men while there. Not far from the upper post, and in rear of it, was an old grave. As the victim of the joke went on duty the first time, the man whom he re lieved told him that at midnight the night before the ghost of a man was seen near that grave, riding around on horseback, without any head. This so frightened the man that he did not dare to go on duty on the midnight re lief, but instead hired a braver com rade to stand his picket for him. When I posted my relief, between eleven and twelve o’clock that night this story came into my mind, and I thought to have a bit of sport with the man whom I was to leave there all alone at that midnight hour, so I told “AViHie ” said the young mother to j him the stor with al i the , lwe i couM r abject slave, “you must go to work ; __ t into w alll1 _ her aujeeu slave, you must go to worn | t into my tone and manner . But and rinse a beard right away. j picket didn’t frighten so easily, husband* ' 6 bewlldered | He was just lighting his pipe, and re- “To amuse baby. His grandpa was here this afternoon, and it would have done your heart good to see how the >little darling did enjoy pulling the old man’s whiskers. He pulled some of them clear out.”—Indianapolis Jour nal. THE LAST STRAW. “Orville,” asked Mrs. Ardup, “are times so tight?” ‘-‘Awful, Bacliel! Awful!” replied Mr. Ardup. “There’s absolutely no money to be had. ” “Then we’ll economize,” rejoined his little wife, cheerily. “You were nbout to go to the barber’s. You needn’t go. I’ll cut your hair mv- self. ” And he went ont and made an as signment. —Chicago Tribune. plied between whiffs: “Well (puff), if there’s a man (puff) comes around here (pnff) to-night (puff) without any head on (puff, puff), I’ll put a head on him.” He wasn’t disturbed during hie midnight vigil. To Harness a Water Power. A one-fourth interest in the watei power of Cedar Kiver Falls, Washing ton, appropriated by W. W. Howard, has been sold to H. F. Whitney, and he says he proposes to use it for manu facturing and ultimately for transmit ting electric power to the city. The power appropriated is that oi 2000 cubic feet per second in the twe falls and the river’s course between them. The upper fall is about three miles below Cedar Lake, and each fall is about 100 feet high, while the fall in the quarter of a mile of the river's course between them make up another 100 feet, so that there will be an aggre gate of 300 feet. This, it is claimed, will give a larger power than Sno- qualmie Falls. It is proposed first to use the power to operate a shingle and sawmill at each fall, as the appropriators of the fnlls have located 1600 acres of timber in the vicinity, and there is nbout 15,- 000 acres tributary. When Mr. Whitney and his associates can find a market for 10,000 horse power in Seattle, Tacoma and the adjoining country, they contemplate putting in dynamos and transmitting the electric power. The distance from the foot ol ’ the lower falls to Seattle is thirtv-five <<T . „ - , , . . , , , ,, ... miles m a beeline, and there is a popu- ,b "; tos, “ !*” dl « rfs - i lation o( nearly 150,000intha territory ££?«!£» !<“"? SI* «*•»* p««r could be dil ; tributed. The country around the falls SHE WOULD HASTEN. Old Lady—“And so you expect to get married when you grow up ?” Little Girl—“Of tourse. Everybody gets married. I won’t say ‘no,’ like Aunt Lucy did, and be an old maid— no, indeedy.” “Perhaps you won’t like those who ask you?” “Oh, yes I will, I guess. I feel real sure that when a real nice little boy— I mean man—comes to ask me to get married, I’ll be so happy I won’t wait to run down stairs to meet him, I’ll just slide down the bannisters.”— Good News. THROUGHOUT THE SODTH. Notes of Her Progress and Prosperity Briefly Epitomized And Important Happenings from Day to Day Tersely Told* The Texas lines, on Thurday, decided to allow stop over privileges on all tickets sold by southwestern lines dur ing the harvest excursions. A very fine bed of solid white and gray marble, covering several acres, has just been discovered on the land of Mr. George W. Pirkle, within two miles of Flowery Branch, Ga. At Charleston, S. C., Wednesday, Isaac Mitchell and his entire family, consisting of five persons, were pois oned. Mitchell and his daughter, Ada, are dead, and the others are danger ously ill. The physicians who made the examination agreed that the peo ple were poisoned by arsenic. Thursday evening the first and sec ond regiments of infantry and one troop of cavalry, of South Carolina, went into camp at Camp Bogart near Morehead City. About six hundred troops are in camp. The other two regiments will not encamp this year, owing to lack of funds. At the Southern Educational con vention at Louisville, Kv., Thursday, officers were elected as follows: W. H. Bartholomew, of Louisville, president; Erank Goodman, Nashville, secretary; J. N. Carlisle, of Texas, re-elected treasurer. Galveston, Texas, will prob ably be the next place of meeting. A Raleigh, N. C., special says: A letter to a prominent state official states that Dr. Lewis, health officer of Northampton county, reports the prev alence in its eastern section, of a dis ease resembling Asiatic cholera. Per sons attacked die in six or seven hours and there have been twelve to fifteen deaths. An official examination is be ing made. The department of flgrieultuie of North Carolina issued its July crop report Tuesday, based on statements made by 1,200 correspondents. The percentages of the condition of crops are given as follows: Cotton, 78 ; rice, 87; peanuts, 90; corn, 95; tobacco, 87; clover and hay, 94. Tobacco of this year’s growth is beginning to be marketed. The dispensary in Greenville, S. C., was closed Thursday on an order of Judge Norton restraining them from selling any further until he can give the case a full hearing. The injunc tion was secured on the grounds that the dispenser is an ex-barkeeper and has been so within two years, which disqualifies him for the office of dis penser, and that his petition was not signed by a majority of the freehold ers of the city. A Charleston dispatch says: * This city is still waiting with expectant awe the punishment promised it by Gov ernor Tillman for refusing to take the state cocktail from a state dispensary. The dispensary law has been in opera tion now nearly two weeks, and while a few barrooms have been closed, most of the 200 are still open. Some of them display signs with lists of soft drinks, but the tiger lurks in the rear and shows himself wherever the pass word is given. The weather crop bulletin for South Carolina, issued Tuesday, says: A gen eral cry comes from all sections for rain, and unless showers occur shortly great injury will result. Cotton is re ported late from one to two weeks, and while a slight improvement is no ticed, it is not sufficiently widespread to warrant much consideration. Corn lias been laid by in good condition in the majority of. counties. Gardens are failing fnst. Potatoes are about TE1EGRAPHIC GLEANINGS. Tie News of tne World Condensed Into Pithy and Pointed Paragraphs. Interesting and Instructive to AH Classes of Readers. The steamship City of Alexandria arrived at New York from Havana Wednesday night with $500,000 in gold consigned to the Western Nation al bank of New York. The Bank of Commerce at Spring- field, Mo m failed Wednesday. The last statement showed $256,000 in re sources, a surplus of about $10,000 and$176,000 in deposits. Charles M. Barnes, stationer and bookseller, at Chicago, assigned Wed nesday; assets, $171,000; liabilities, $163,000. Confession judgement en tered in the superior court caused the suspension. The grand jury, after investigating the failures of L. A. Lappen & Co. and the Plankinton bank, at Milwau kee, Wis., has reported indictments for all the officers and directors of the Plankinton bank. Fire Tuesday night completly de stroyed the Lake Superior Mineral Paint Company’s factory and the lime kilns owned by the warehouse and Builders’ Supply Company at West Superior, Wis. The loss is $100,000. The Chamberlain Investment Com pany, at Denver, Col., the largest real estate concern in the west, closed its doors Monday morning. The liabil ities direct and contingent, are $2,- 326,129, assets are $3,000,000. An application will be made at New York to have Samuel Spencer made co-receiver of the Richmond and Dan ville and East Tennessee companies. The receivers in control of these com panies will retain their positions. The Lodi bleacher and dye works of Lodi, N. J.,were entirely destroyed by fire Sunday afternoon. The plant was valued at $100,000; covered by insur ance. About a hundred men and wo men were thrown out of employment. A Chicago dispatch says: Oscar Nebe, the anarchist who was recently released from the penitentiary, was quietly married at three o’clock Wed nesday afternoon to Miss Eliza Hepp. The bride is the owner of a nourishing saloon. Miss Elizabeth J. SoutliRll Clarke, of Newport News, has been elected to represent the state of Vir ginia in the tableaux of the state in connection with the reunion of con federate veterans at Birmingham, Ala., in September. Richard Morgan Olcott, doing busi ness as Olcott & Co., exporters of grain and general merchandise at New York, made an assignment Thursday. His liabilities are not definitely known, but are reported to be from $100,000 to $150,000. Sunday evening an excursion of six cars full of people, returning to Cin cinnati from Melborne on an excursion ran onto a sidetrack into a lot of empty cars. Robert Lang, of Coving ton, Ky., was killed, and a large num ber of people were wounded. The Cramps, shipbuilders at Phila delphia, have decided to launch the cruiser Minneapolis August 12th, next. Miss Washburn, daughter of Senator Washburn, of Minnesota, has been named by Secretary Herbert to officiate as godmother at the christening. The Southern Steamship Association held its annual meeting at Coney Is land Tuesday. The contracts for last year came up for consideration, but on account of the present uneasy Btate of the money market no changes will be made in the present agreement. Monday a magazine containing two pany, of New York city. The com pany was incorporated in May, 1892, with a capital stock of $100,000, suc ceeding to the business of the Henry G. Allen company. It had branches in Chicago and Pittsburg. The an nual report in Jannarv claimed the liabilities did not exceed $35,000, and the assets were $100,000. A Philadelphia dispatch gays: The British schooner, Mystery, manned by a captain and a crew of four men, ex hausted and worn out by overwork, put in the Delaware breakwater Tues day with her colors at half-mast. The other four members of her crew had succumbed to the ravages of yellow fever, which broke out on board when the vessel was almost one thousand miles distant from land or medical at tendance. General Hickenlooper, correspond ing secretary, has issued the official call for a meeting of the society of the Army of the Tennessee at Chicago on the 12th and 13th of September. The local executive committee at Chi cago charged with the preparations of the meeting will make ample provis ions f3r the reception and entertain ment of the members, which will in clude arrangements for attending the world’s fair. WASHINGTON GOSSIP. from Day to Day in National Capital, Appointments in the Various Depart ments—Other Notes of Interest. the only thing which have derived any tons of dynamite, belonging to the great benefit from the weather of the \ Home Powder Company, located sev- past week. A rumor was current in Colnmbia Tuesday that the general assembly of South Carolina will be called together this year on November 1st, one month earlier, and giving the lawmakers two months instead of one. The surface j reason for this is the completion of the j codification of the laws, but it is also presumed that the governor intends to ! have the legislature on hand ready to j act on the decision of the supreme court which meets November 1st as to j the constitutionality of the dispensary | law, and also to arrange to pay J the big deficit which it is thought will be made by the dispensary. MR. CLEVELAND IMPROVING. The Troublesome Case of Rheumatism is Slowly Disappearing. A special of Saturday from Buzzard’s Bay, Mass., says: Mr. Cleveland is slowly recovering from the rheuma tism which has been used as the basis for alarming rumors concerning hia health. Dr. Bryant, who is still in attendance at Gray Gables, and Col onel Lamont, who acts as Mr. Cleve land’s mouthpiece, both say that there is nothing the matter with Mr. Cleve land except rheumatism, and that it is yielding to the rest and quiet which the president is now enjoying. to the landlord of the P— House in Portland. There were five of us there who all wanted pie, and he only had thlcklv settle a, and township twentv- one pie m the house, let he gave each j three, which wiU be opeued Fridav , a impossible interrupted Robinson. 18 co ^te\y settled. One claim lias “None of your miracles here.” “It is true, though,” said Creighton. “Yes, but tell me how he did it,” chimed in the logical man in the corner. Creighton grinned. “He sent out for another pie. ’’—Boston Budget. six timber claimants and a home steader, and some hot contests may be expected. There is considerable min ing excitement on the lake and valu able discoveries of gold and silver de posits are reported.—Seattle (Wash ington) Post-Intelligencer. AND SHE pro. .A girl in a Maine village who wade | only fo or through the same tanker. In 1836 English drafts crossed with a banker’s name wpre made payable Against Silver Coinage The Morocco Manufacturers’ Na tional Association, one of the strongest trade organization in the country, and representing in its body over $50,000,- 000, held its annual meeting at Atlan tic City, N. J., Thursday, and in ad dition to routine business adopted a resolution favoring the presentation of a petition to congress asking that body to take such action as will cause the immediate suspension of the further purchase and coinage of silver. A Break for Liberty. Fully seventy-five convicts at the house of correction of Iona, Mich., made a break for liberty at 9 :30 o’clock Monday morning, but were thwarted by the guards after a desperate fight in which guns, hammers, hot irons and stones were promiscuously used. One convict was killed outright and others will die. One or two guards were fa tally injured. Signed the Scale. A Pittsburg, Pa., dispatch say6: Jones A Laughlin signed the Amalga mated Steel scale Tuesday afternoon, workmen conceding the reduction of from 8 to 15 per cent. The firm want ed a cut of from 10 to 20 per cent, j The iron scale was signed last week, ! and the company’s extensive plant, | employing 5,000 men, will resume in I a few days. — A Fatal Wreck. The West Shore day express No. 1, due at Newberg.N. Y.,nt 12 :04 o’clock I p. m., was wrecked in the West Shore freight yards Thursday. Mrs. Eliza Klemm and three other unknown wo men and a two-year-old child were killed, Many other passenger* were eeriously wounded, eral miles from Denver, Col., exploded with terrible force. The shock was felt over the city. At the magazine a hole was torn in the earth over forty feet deep. A dispatch of Thursday from Alex andria, Egypt, states that the report from that city to the effect that there were eighty-five cholera patients in the hospital there and that forty deaths had occured from the disease, was erroneous. No cholera is reported anywhere in Egypt. A New York dispatch of Tuesday says t The sheriff has received an at tachment for $101,850 against the Central Railway and Banking com pany of Georgia in favor of Charles McKay and served copies of it on the Mercantile Central Trust company, the Hanover bank and other parties. The Milburn Wagon Company, whose works at Toledo, Ohio, are the second largest in the world, on Monday served notice on its 800 employes of a 25 per cent reduction in wages. A large number of men at once laid down their tools and walked out, and not over a score of men have returned to work. A dispatch of Tuesday from Caddo, I. T., says; Governor Jones has re turned home, after attending the spe cial session of council in regard to the shooting of the nine Choctaws, who have been reprieved by the national government. He snys they will be shot or he will call out every member of his miliiia to accomplish that end. The Bank of Garnett, one of the leading institutions of Anderson county, Kan., closed its doors Wednesday morning, catching some depositors rather heavily and the county treasurer for $13,000 of the county’s money. It is thought the hank will be able to pay out, but con siderable excitement now prevails. The state bank at Shnbert, a small town south of Falls City, Nebraska, failed Monday. A day or two ago the bank examiner investigated the books and G. V. Argaboright, the cashier, left the country, leaving a statement- that he was $21,000 short, and said that he preferred to leave his family to going to the penitentiary. Argo- boright is also treasurer of the Ameri can Bond Company. A special of Tuesday from Mans field, O., says: Physicians are dealing with a wholesale case of poisoning. In all twenty-five families are sick; ten persons at the point of death, the result of eating cheese made by a local cheese company, and sold by grocery- men. The victims suffer intensely. Physicians differ as to the cause, two claiming it is the result of contamina ted well water. J. S. Conover & Co., New York, manufacturers and dealers in open fireplaces, grates and fenders, wood mantels and tiles, assigned Tuesday without preferences. The firm was always rated high. Bradstreet’s lately estimated them at from $250,000 to $300,000. One of the firm said this afternoon that- the firm had liabilities of $400,000. He thought the assets would show $525,000. Two executions have been issued against tb« BritUnia Publishing oom- Comptroller Eckles, on Wednesday, appointed E. K. Fogg receiver of the Nebraska National bank, at Beatrice, Neb. The gold reserve increased $599,898 Wednesday, the total amount being $97,886,575. The currency balance remains at about the same figure— $27,353,881. The total number of fourth-class postmasters appointed Tuesday was ninety-nine, of which thirty-three were to fill vacancies caused by resig nations and death. The chief of the bureau of statis tics reports that the total value of the exports of beef and hog prodnets from the United States during June, 1893, was $10,098,836. The department of state received news of the death of United States Consul Joseph E. Stone, at Nogales, Mexico, Tuesday morning. Mr. Stone was appointed vice consul iu 1872, and was promoted to be consul last Feb ruary. Secretary Herbert on Wednesday accepted the resignation of Commo dore Wilson as chief constructor of the navy and appointed Constructor Phillip Hichborn to succeed him. Commodore Wilson resigned on ac count of ill health. The value of the exports of cotton from the United States during the month of June, 1892, was $6,856,165. The total value of the exports of do mestic breadstuff’s from the United States during the month of June was $19,512,751. The comptroller of the currency is sued his usual call for a report on the condition of banks at the close of bus iness Wednesday, July 12th. This, the comptroller says, is one of the reg ular five annual calls and not due to existing conditions. The president has directed Acting Secretary Sims to inform Mr. Kobert P. Porter that his resignation as superintendent of the census, tendered June 30th, is accepted, to take effect July 31st, and, iu the meantime, he is granted a leave of absence from July 1st. - The allottments to the Pawnee In dians in the Indian Territory were formally approved by Acting Secretary Sims, Tuesday. The schedules em brace twenty-eight allotments cover ing 112,710 acres to be thrown open to settlement at the same time and the same manner as the Cherokee strip. Secretary Carlisle has decided that foreign exhibitors at the World’s fair will be allowed to sell their exhibits for delivery after the exposition. This decision upsets the calculations of the managers of the fair who have been counting on a big revenue in the shape of percentages from the sale of the exhibits. Theire are each day added indica tions that the repeal of the Sherman law will be accompanied with consid erable difficulty. With the contested elections in the senate, however, it will be a long time before the repeal question can be reached in that body. While it is almost like guessing at the attendance of the world’s fair, the present indications are that congress will run its extra session into Decem ber. Those financiers who were among the first to discern and predict the prevailing financial distress are now the first to declare that the crisis has passed; that whatever congress may or may not do with the Sherman bill, the worst has been experienced. In other words they are looking up from the valleys of depression to the hill tops of prosperity, and believe that from this time forward the situation will slowly, but surely improve. A statement issued from the treas ury department shows that the net gold in the treasury at the end of June last was $95,485,413, which was more than the total at the end of either of the two months preceding. In the ten days from June 30th to July 10th, the gold holdings increased from $95,- 484,413 to $97,286,677, and the tables show a slight but steady increase from June loth last, when the net gold stood at $90,722,958, the lowest point reached in many years. The abolition of seed distribution through members of congress and the charging of the cost of meat inspection upon the packers are likely to be two of the leading recommendations in the annual report of Secretary Morton, of the department of agriculture. The secretary has inquired through the state department how the meat inspec tion is regarded in European countries, whether it is necessary to secure the entrance of our products and whether it promotes their consumption. The new Peruvian minister, Mr. Canevaro, called upon Secretary Gresham Thursday. He has heard nothing of the disquiet in Pern as yet, although slight disturbances may be expected in the south as the result of the tour of the presidential candidates who were opposed to the present ad ministration. On the 28th of this month the Peruvian congress will con vene, but the elections which will have an important bearing on the future of the country will not be held before next January. Postmaster General Bissell has de cided to abandon the three sizes of postal cards now in use and to substi tute one size for both single and reply cm4s. that j»wpo»« |a view, specifications which have been sent to prospective bidders for the contract of furnishing the postal service with cards during the next four years call for cards of the uniform size of thre* and one-half by five and one-half inches. This is known as international size, it being used generally by the countries composing the international postal union. To AboDtth Experiment Stations. Secretary Morton intends to tear to shreds Jerry Rusk’s agricultural patch quilt, which he spread with such care over the west during the last four years. Secretary Morton is busy mak iag out his report. On being asked by a correspondent as to what recom mendation he would make about the agricultural experiment stations he said: “I shall recommend the aboli tion of every one under my department. Those managed by individual states to which the government gives annually $15,000 each are sufficient to experi ment in. All others are simply useless aud a waste of money. For instance at Gardner City, Kas., over $30,000 has already been expended on a futile attempt to get a grass to grow without water or dirt. This is $30,000 thrown away, and almost as much has been wasted at Schuyler, Neb. Yes, in my report, I shall certainly recommend their abolition.” Will Be Sharply Contested. The appeal which has been taken by the interstate commerce commission from the recent decision of the United States district court for the northern district of Georgia will be sharply contested, as it involves the integrity of the long and short haul clause of the interstate commerce act. The Georgia case involved first-class rates from Cincinnati to Atlanta, Augusta and Social Circle in Georgia. The shippers contended that the rate to Social Circle should not be higher than that to Augusta, but the court held that there was a through rate to Augusta and that the rate to Social Circle was properly fixed by the rail roads by adding the local rate from Atlanta to the through rate from Cin cinnati to Atlanta. The decision of the court leaves all the railroads full power to make such discriminations if they declare in one case that they have a joint rate and in the other that they have no joint rate. The interstate commerce commission proposes to fight teis decision if necessary in the circuit court of appeals, the supreme court and the two houses of congress. LIKE LUCRETIA BORGIA. A Woman Who Made a Business of Poisoning Her Husbands. A New York dispatch of Thursday says: Police Inspector McLaughlin has returned from Detroit, Mich., after the arrest there of Dr. Henry T. W. Meyer and his wife, who are want ed in New York, as well as in other large cities in the United States, for poisoning people that they might get the insurance money on their victims’ lives. The case shows that Meyer and his wife are two of the blackest heart ed criminals the police ever handled. There are at least a dozen charges of the same nature against them in the other cities. The grand jury has found indictments against the pair, and ex tradition papers are being prepared. The facts in connection with the case here, and the reports from other cities show that Lucretia Borgia has a formidable rival iu the person of Mrs. Meyer. On March 30,1892, J. Baum, of No. 326 East 113th street, died, af ter a severe attack of intestinal trouble. Dr. Minden, of Twelfth street, who attended him, gave a certificate to his grief-stricken wife, naming the cause of death chronic dysentery. He was buried in Brooklyn cemetery. Baum’s life was insured in the Mutual Life Insurance Company for $2,000 in favor of his wife, and, after the usual form ula, the amount was paid. Dr. Gillette, of the insurance com pany, for some reason, suspected there was something wrong, and communi cated his fears to Coroner Schultz. Baum’s body was quietly re-exhumed and Deputy Coroner Walsh, assisted by Professor Doremus, made an au topsy. The stomach was found to con tain antimony in large quantities, which drug had produced the intestinal trou bles. Coroner Schultz then laid the facts before Inspector McLanghlin, and detectives were placed on the case. After a long search, the detec tives found that Mrs. Baum was, in reality, the wife of Dr. Henry Meyer, who was also known under the alias of Henry Beuter and Hugo Mailer. The woman, the detectives said, made a business of getting married, persuad ing her husband to insure his life, and then accomplish his death by poison. IN THE INTEREST OF SILVER. A Monster Mass Meeting Held at Salt Lake City, Utah. A monster mass meeting was held at Salt Lake, Utah, Wednesday night in the interest of silver. Besolutions were adopted referring to the wide spread distress in the west and appeal ing to congress to renounce the Sher man act by the absolute free coinage of silver at some just ratio to gold, and favoring the appointment of a delegation representing citzens of all classes, irrespective of poli tics, to attend the next session of con gress and labor in the interest of sil ver. Governor West presided over the meeting. No revolutionary or in- flamatory speeches were made, and the language of tho Colorado silver men was characterized as unwise and hurtful to the true interests of the west. SUNDAY CLOSING ASSURED. SUFFERED EVERY MINUTE Since I came ont of the war, with eat&ri h in my head, ehronic diarrhoea and rheumatism,” lays Mr. J. G. Anderson, ef Scott dale, Pa. “I had pains all over me, my sight was dim, and there seemed to be floating ttperk* before my eyes. The food I ate seemed G. A sdersen. like lead in my stomach. The rheumatism was in mr right hip and shoulders. Hood’s Sarsa parilla and Hood’s Pills did me more good than anything else. All my disagreeable symptoms have gone.” HOOD’S CURES. flood’s Pills cure Constipation by restoring the peristaltic action of the alimentary canaL A Good Norse. A good nnrse is a woman thoroughly healthy and alert in all her five senses. She must have good sight, in order that she may watch the slightest changes in the patient, catch a motion of the eye, the tips of the fingers, and see in a moment what is wanted. She must have quick hearing, to catch the slightest whisper of a weak invalid. She must have a sensitive as well as soft touch, that she may note the most delicate changes in the skin and may test the temper ature of hot applications that may be ordered. It is especially necessary that she have a correct and acute sense of smell, so she may detect the 6lighest impurity in the atmosphere of the sick room. Her taste must be correct, in order that she may test the food to see that it is properly cooked. A good nurse should be also a good cook, and at the best training school for nurses a course of lectures with manual training in cookery is a part of the teaching. Where the Hurry Stops. Lady—“Where did you get this pretty doll?” Little Girl—“I forget the name of place, but it’s that great big store Blue-Eyed People. Have you ever heard that nearly all the great people in the world have had blue eyes? There have been, to be sure, a great many celebrated persons who have had brown or black. Bnt the majority have been bine-eyed. All the presidents, except President Har rison, have had eyes as blue as the skies. And besides them, there have been Milton, Lord Bacon, Benjamin Franklin, Napoleog, Bismarck and Mr. Gladstone, besides hundreds of others. Removing a Sonrcc of Peril. Danger is near when the kidneys grow in active. The source of peril is removable with Hostetter’s Stomach Bitter 1 , which unques tionably averts Bri'jht’s disuse, diabetes, gravel and other ruinous maladies attribut able, in tho first instance, to a dormant con- ditionof the kidneys and bladder. A health ful impulse to the performance of the func tions of these organs is sp ediiy communi cated by the Bitters, which likewise removes constipation, malaria, liver trouble and dys pepsia. South Carolina has 10,773 acres planted in wat‘ rmelons, and it is expected that the crop will be a large and profitable one. If your Back Aches, or you are all worn out, good for nothing, it is general debility. Brown's Iron B.tters will cure you, make yon strong, cleanse your liver, and give you a good appetite—tones the nerves. The St. Louis water tower is the highest in the world. The Ladies. The pleasant effect and perfect safety with which ladies may use the California liquid lax ative, Syrup of Figs, under all conditions makes it their favorite remedy. To get the true and genuine article, look for the name of the California Fig Syrup Co., printed near the bottom of the package. A Louisiana man. eighty-one years old. wagers $26 that he can beat any flfty-year-oln man In the state in a foot race. Ladies n-eding a tonic, or children who want building up, should take Brown’s Iron Bitters. It is pleasant to take, cures Malar! i, Indigestion, Biliousness and Liver Complaints, makes the Blood rich and pure. _ The use of tortnre in legal pro~eedings was where everybody is in a hurry except Permissible in Austria until well within the the ones that makes change. "—Street pre c ry ~ & Smith’s Good News. j We Cnre Rapture. ! No matter of how long standing. Write for free treatise, testimonials, etc., to S. J. Hollensworth & Co., Owego, Tioga Co., N. Y. Price $1; by mail, $1.15. E. A. Rood, Toledo, Ohio, says : “ Hall’s Ov tarrh Cnre cured my wife of catarrh fifteen years ago and she has had no return of it. It’e » sure cure.” Sold by Druggists. Tic. Costs Money to Live. Little Girl—“I haven’t had a new dress for ever so long.” Mother—“No, dear; mamma couldn’t afford it: but be patient until my last dress is worn out, and then I’ll make you two nice dresses out of the sleeves. ” Beecham’s Pills cure indigestion and consti- ration. Beecham’s—no others. 25 cents a box. You want the Best Royal Baking Powder never disappoints; never makes sour, soggy or husky food; never spoils good materials; never leaves lumps of alkali in the biscuit or cake; while all these things do happen with the best of cooks who cling to the old-fashioned methods, or who use other baking powders. If you want the best food, Royal Baking Powder is indispensable. 99 “German Syrup Regis Leblanc is a French Cana dian store keeper at Notre Dame de Stanbridge, Quebec, Can., who was cured of a severe attack of Congest ion of the Lungs by Bosehee’s Ger man Syrup. He has sold many a bottle of German Syrup on his per sonal recommendation. If you drop him a line he’ll give you the full facts of the case direct, as he did us, and that Boschee’s German Syrup brought him through nicely. It always will. It is a good medicine and thorough in its work. 6 ans The World’s Fair Directors to Take a Vote on the Question. A Chicago special of Thursday says : There is little doubt now expressed among the exposition directors but that the Snnday closing of the World’s fair will shortly become an assured fact. There was a discussion on the question when the executive committee met, but the question was too sweep ing for them to handle, and the matter was referred to a general meeting of the directors. The comparatively small attendance on the last four Sun days has perplexed the directors, and it is now highly probable that the World’s fair will not hereafter be opened on the Lord’s day. Justice Blatchford’8 Funeral. The funeral rites were performed over the remains of the late associate justice, Samnel Blatchfor.l, of the United States supreme court at New port, B. L, at 2:30 o’clock Tuesday afternoon. The quiet little chapel of All Saints was crowded. The remains were enclosed in a black broadcloth casket, with woite silver trimmings. The floral tributes were numerous and costly. After the services the remains were taken to New York for interment. Positively cnre Bilious Attacks, Con stipation, Sick-Headache f etc. 25 cents per bottle, at Drug Stores Write for sample dose, free. J. F, SMITH & CO.^-New York. I am seventy-seven years old, id have had my age renewed and have had my age at least twenty years by the use of Swift’s Specific My foot and leg to my knee was a 77 __ . running: sore for two years, and physicians said it could not be cured. After taking fifteen sn V“i hinttioe s i< not a sore on my limbs, anal YEARS OLD bottles S. S ■ S. there is not ay ore on my limbs, and__ have a new lease on life- You ought to let all sufferers know of your wonderful remedy. ■imummnMimUiiJ Delicious Drink. EASILY MADE sunriER COLD. WINTER HOT. JUICES Quiets theXwTM. Aids UigMliin. Cools th« Blood. Prevents rmn. Quenches Thint. Temperance Drink. Put up In condenied form, 10, 25 and 50 tent bottles. Aikyouroaociaor vaVGOlST. To be ■ure you getthe genuine Bhow your dealer thi« advertijement; or tend $1.00 to nt and n -will lend by expreas, prepaid, enough to make .evert! gallona. At wholesale only by FRANK E. HOUSH & CO. 235 Washington St., Boston, Maas. AGENTS wanted in each town. iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii ptttt rnn r i Ira F. Stilie, Palmer, Kansas City. IS A WONDERFUL REMEDY—especially for old people. It builds up the general health. Treat ise on the blood mailed free. SWIFT SPCIFIC COMPANY, Atlanta, Ga. s 0L1SH / ir practical joke upon John Wash- burp, a lad in West Union, Ohio, has hadl a deplorable result. Some men pretended that they were about to ar* rnt the boy, end he has become in- mt -j Do Not Be Deceived with Pastes, Enamels and Paints which stain the hands. Injure the Iron and hunj. red. The Rising Sun Stove Polish is Brilliant, Odor- or glass package with every pu > tin IAN ■ For Indigestion, Billoagne«»» = Headache, Co n at I patio n. Had | Complexion, Offensive Breath, I and all disorders of the Stomach, = liver and Bowels, I RIPANSTABULES I act gently yet promptly. Perfe . | digestion follows their use. Bold 1 I by druggists or sent by mail. Box = (t vials),v5c. Package (4 boxes), $L - s I For free samples-address § § BIPA>» CHEMICAL CO., New York. = jmiLMn: —..niM!.;;;—ii::iMiini—:i:n—III ■M: i niMn:. MimiMlllllM DROPSY Treated free. PeelUtely CC&SD with T«f«tabls SrstdiM. Have cured many thou sand cases pro- MEND YOUR OWN HARNESS f WITH THOMSON’S! SLOTTED CLINCH RIVETS. No toots required. Only a hammer needed to drive and c Inch them easily and quickly, leaving the clinch abso.ntely smooth. Requiring no ho e to be made in the leather nor ourr tor the Riveia. They are strong, foagb and durable. Millions now In use. All lengths, uniform or assorted, put up In boxes. Ask roar denier for them, or send 40c. In stamps for a box of 100, assorted sizes. Man'fd by JUDSON L. THOMSON MFQ. CO., WAI.TIIAJI, BLASS. Troy, _ I Alabama. Altitude 600 ft.; climate mild and beautiful; choice of College Courses leading to degrees of Bachelor. Master and Doctor of Science, Pedagogy and Philos ophy and to Life Certificates or Professional Llf© 4 Diploma from State Superintentent. Scholarly and experienced teachers may take l*ROFE£S5lO>« Ala COURSE largely IN ABSENTIA. Ex penses low. For information address E. R. EL- BRIDGE* LL.Dm President, Troy, Ala. HOMES FOR THE POOR AND RICH ALIKE jf testimonials *1 miraculous cures sent rNCB. LyBHHIKaaSKSES.'Si MfltirV Made Easily and Rapidly. Ill U ll I. I We want within Thirty day9,100 men who ban energy aod grit. Will give them a posi'ijn in which they can make money rapidly. Labor ight. Em- p'nymsat the year around. Requires no capital or great CANCER Cured Permanently SO KNIFE. NO POISON, NO PLASTER. JNO. B. HARRIS. Fort P yae, Aim. 80ITRE CURED- ENDfor I J. Kle'.Q.HelleYiUt.N, J, mg a co!c eEder, Atlanta, Ga. Consumptives and people who have weak lungs or Asth ma, should use Plflo’a Cure for Consumption. It has eared tkonsnnds. ft tots not Injur ed one. It is not bad to take. 16 best coagh syrup. Sold everywhere. £5c. L N, U. .Tweafcpeifbi,