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t [ MWW1 ^be progress Publshed Every Thursday. 11 D SMITH, Editor and Publisher , Entered nt the PostutHnn, *n Vionim Ga„ hb sccond-olns* tr\h mutter. A Parker club was organized at Cordclo Tuesday. Always aim a little higher than the mark—it the mark is a dimple in the chin.-■-IryinvUle Courier Yes, Ves; but don't go loo high imtl buss the smeller. The people of Worth county voted a largo majority for 'the removal of the courthouse from Isabella to Sylvester, but soino of the opposites have tiled, or gnawed, a counter nlea and the tfimor must go through the courts before the old pest is torn up, The Carnogia liliray was turned over, so a Cordelo paper says, but nothing damaged; nothing spilled out. • It win turned over to tho city, or delivered thereto, last week. It is a handsome thing, and cost, all told, about $14,000, TO TEAOPERS. A Key to Examinations. It oon- taius tho Questions and Answers of tilery Public School Examination in Georgia sinoe 1888. Sixteen years’ work. Wo will Bond it postpricl, on roeotpt of One Dollar. Dceriptivo circulars free. B. S. HOLDEN, Cashier Gilmer County Bank, ELLI- JAV, Ga. UNDERTAKER Leave orders nt Progress office for coffins, oaskots, ana robes. Deposit tho amount you wish to invest in an'outfit, and I will send the best and nicest that the money will t uy and ship it on next train. Coffins front $3 to as high as you want. . LAMAR GRAY. Maoon, Ga. No matter how large the output, coni is always going up—In smoke. You may lend a horse to wnter, but you cannot make him drink. When you lend a man to the bar he will gen ernlly do the rest. Doubtless the burglar cjubl tell the ball player that he would be nioro suc cessful If he would try to steal his bares after night. Perhaps the man who Insists on be ing cremated wants to have a warm finish. Anyway ii limn may’get some satis faction by giving the hnvji WSV.'C kick as he passes It with a hod of coal. : The man whoso only boobs ut'e wom an’s looks would get along faster if he had a few checkbooks ns well. If all flesh Is grass, why isn’t dried beef hay? All a nmn has to do who wants thir teen different diseases is to call in thir teen different doctors. No •wise man will wear a celluloid collar when Jhe starts out to have a hot time. A billposter Is a superstitious man. lie beljpyps ip signs. Great Germ Killer. They tell ub that a microbe gay Makes children misbehave. Just use to chase that germ away The old time barrel stave. The boy who is smoking a cigarette when he applies for a job does not want tho job. It Is a wise weather prophet who ni't’.ej a i ' :ral use of the word “If” In Via predictions. The Mitl sinter Thaw. Say! Is there no way To head off the midwinter thaw? No law ■Which we may Invoke And tell It to smoke Up end do something for us— Raise a fuss That will cause Bloppy weather to mako tracks For Halifax? ■Where aro the police? Does their authority cense As soon ns old Sol begins to mix the mess? Is there no redress? Can no Injunctions be secured? Or moot It bo endured Until lazy old .Tack Frost- Comes round to make up Cor lost Time? To call It a crime Is only speaking plain United States. Compensation. “Adam missed some vexations, any way.” “As how?” “Well, ho never left U1b latchkey In his other trousers pocket" Noise Doesn't Count. The mnn who makes the loudest noise Don’t have tho goods to show; You'd think the rooster laid the eggs To hear him proudly crow. THE GOOD OLD STOVE. Til slimmer time to idly st.rol.1 Beneath the moon's pule glare And held •inramiiiiii as mill with soul With some young lady lair Is all right for that lime of year, JBut It does not inspire Hike sitting lose to ducky dear Beside the parlor tire. There’s,comfort In Its cheerful g'uw, Its ch’angi it; mystic scroll. And this In always doubly so A- pa pi. .s uii, for coal. In dreamland sweet you loll about Ai d watch Ids money burn; The girl must almost push you o * To get you to adjourn. la Hummer time beneath the trees On some bright cloudless night You stroll about finite ill at ease If the mosquitoes bite, But on a good.old winter night, Although Jack Frost may pinch An ; all the ground outs'de Is white, Tho parlor stove's a clneh. | Felt His Royal Blood. “I feel like n member of the royal family.” sobbed the small boy who had just received n thrashing. ! “Does it hurt that much?" naked his J sympathetic clmm. | “Yes," replied the sufferer, drawing i his band across the sore place. “Them , marks are the prims of wlmles.” If we could skip Its dates And have old fashioned winter clear through until spring We would gladly sing Tho praises of any one who could bring Proofs that he was the cause Of the absence of thaws. Of course It doesn't get you riled S O have a pleasant, mild ay occur. But, jumping Christopher, when the slush Is almost up to your vest It knocks tho pleasure galley west! Who could bo gay When to get downtown ho had to swim halfway. Or Juittp from stone to log Like a frog? Let those who lovo to wado In mush And slush Rejoice. Our choice Is different. Hard weather makeB n hit With us, nnd we don’t caro who knows it. One Constituent. "What did tho poet mean when he spoke of such stuff as dreams are made of?" "Pie, I presume." Good For the Sights. “What are them X rays that you hear so much about that a man can see most anything with?” “I guess It must mean that when a mnn can raise a ten dollar bill he can see most anything he wants to.” A Star Attraction. Ho was an honest alderman, But still he was not poor; A ■■ bowman figured out a plan His fortune to insure, And mu ay curious people came For miles dfta miles to ace; They added to his wealth and fame And jammed tho dime musee. Had Use For Them. "Always pick UP a pin when you see one." "I do,” said the small boy softly. “I might have a chanct to put it In the teacher’s seat.” Shy on Poetry. . Though wife and life so nicely rhyme. Yet wedlock, don’t suppose, Runs as a poem all the time; It may drop Into proso, And sometimes It Is even worse— Perhaps h season of blank verse. Another Point of View. “Do you believe that wai’ is all that: Sherman said?” "Sherman did nut live in another' country and have 3,000 bushela of Wheat to sail.” C «r. Bp! Cheer up! The pried Is just the enme. Cheer up and put your grouch to shame0 You need not t- tie a license out To laugh when you’rejncllned to pout. It does not cost a cent to sruile. And, truly, It Is well worth while. Cheer up! Cheer up! Tho sun will rise and set Though you, perhaps, have lost n bet. There will bo things to drink and eat Though you are long on panic wheat. Suppose your bank account is shy— Some girl may kiss you on tho sly. Cheer up! Cheer up! Remember, worry kills. It’s bettor medicine than pills; It boosts you merrily through life; It makes you solid with your wife. And when you amble up tho flume. The neighborhood will be in gloom. Cheer up! Easy (o Keep. “I haven’t bvoken a single New Year’s resolution yet," “Remarkable!” "I didn’t make any.” When no one observation takes, When scoffers ore not nigh, 1'U bet your vegetarian makes Corned beef and cabbage fly. Knew What One Was, "Have you read the four most popu- ular books of the year?” "No. What are the other three be side the check book?” Had a Cutting Edge, "Smuggle mo in some laundry from the place where we used to get our work done,” whispered the jailbird to his confederate. “Want to put on style in prison?” “Naw; I want to saw my way out With one of the collars.” One Point Shy. "What is your opinion of the bach elor girl?” “All I can say is that she Is no gen tleman." PERT PARAGRAPHS. At some boarding houses none but tho brave can face the fare. When you are spending money the storekeeper never asks you how you got It. If you are on a Rural Free Delivery Mail Route • • That you must have a BOX That is approved by the Postmaster General. If you get your mail on the R. F. D., We have for sale one of on theghiarket; latest approved by General) tha Postmaster J. J. COOPER,