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It Isn’t exactly desirable to bare promising men owe you money. It takes quite nwhl'c grow up and know as tber. A family qoerrol 's long ns ’be neighbors - about It. ;'i<r u' bo.\ •ttle.B bis Experience ni. always on attr’'- Borne fompp . tbev ,-nn..ot g: sale. ilg.lll; . «• as It s lain sl)u:.i h usbii nu the • two be aus tbur : rn It Is Cl ucl OX . I(!"V| Tbc more money a man gets the more aletyi, for his wl.'.i is nerves bis wife has. awake oil night to list-. Fish may or may not make brains, 1 bnt they are certainly food for the li.i- nghmtion. Nearly every yonng married wom an thinks that her chum’s husband Is too good to ber. A spoiled child Is perhaps easier to get ulong with than a spoiled parent. Perhaps you would not bo disap pointed that a policeman does not know everything If you could see his pey check. Poverty is a pretty good cure for dys pepsia. Nothing Is sadder than a lady who la past that age trying to look cuto. Few men are bo stiff In the Joints that they ennnot stoop to pick up a twenty dollar gold piece. Nothing short of drowning will brenk o boy from going In swimming, and most parents think' that treatment Is too soVcre. With tho plumber, killing time Is sy nonymous with tilling the bill. When patience ceases to be a virtue, should It be run In by tho police! Your Friend the Assessor, In tho spring tho lilltho mmsHor With hlB bonk coinis mi. ■oping round. Ab n bold and able gucsBer Can bln equal well bo found? For the follow thinks you’re worth Just about one-half tho earth. With his pen and pencil nimble Every thing 1 goes on tho list; From your diamonds to a thimble Not nn article Ib missed. Deep he prlos Into your soul Thut tho statu may have Its toll. Boon as you can breath recover you reply In accents bland That In looking ho’U discover All your stuff Is secondhand And your goods would hardly pay Any tramp to take away. But he calmly goes on writing. Though a hard luak song you sing Of the poverty that’e biting And the poorhouse In the spring, Heeding not your plaintive roar, For he’s mat your kind before. Some men ■ -ini cun whenever they ■■tin' t>- their money runs out big to. kJ talk n fired to nult -driui.lug « . quit v. yc i v - bout warn : c ; 2k‘ y.) | U.C-' w Dead men tell no tnlcs. but dotm politicians sometimes tell tales out ti school. When a boy discovers tnat the stories In the dime novels arc not true it is hard to get him to believe auy thins else. Sometimes n fisherman's catch la doubled because he carries along a, bait that causes him to see that way. | i Nothing succeeds like success unless It Is the failure of an enterprising clothing merchant Just now the wild waves ore saying thnt It is n waste of time to come to tbc seaside without money. A woman who claims to love ber husband might provo it by forgetting about the house cleaning date. Few people tell a critic Just what they think of him to his faco. Hu. t! . vo.: call l’er over OWti ' •Fro Slvc. Before a man t married be •» noi think ■ he will ever jroud of tte -ties his wife picked up h bargain ■ mtsr. c requires an -.pert not to u ’go a cigar by ) price. ..(it ao’-ip men are about than otb- itry had •f them "rglnr • ciuon'.- T|,o following li on* lot ...any unsolloltsdlet- jtlmonlilii Dothan, Ala., April 18,’04. T have used La- -mar’s Lemon Lax ative in my family and would not be without it. It is c.c rtainly a valua ble medicine. J. A. Mat, Chief ot Folio*. Lamar’s Lemon j Laxativo cures ■ Constipation, Bil iousness, Indigos- tlon and Headache. Acts promptly and powerfully on the bowels yet is gentle and pleas ant in action does not gripe or sicken. It can’t hurt you——it can help you. y more '!e the: much 8n tall at all good drag otoroo. SO dmi for SO eonii. OWNBD AND MANUFACTURED BV LAMAR, TAYLOR &. RILEY DRUG COMPANY, llaoon, fla- OK Daddy Must Keep A'dlgglng. After all the bills aro pnld For the fikiBtor girl's parade Comes the hope to daddy’s breast He can take a little rest. And he feels that he can blow On himself a little dough. Out tho latest in a hat Or a modsst now cravati Possibly can spend a dim* For a private high old time, Purchase on the sly wet goods For sn outing In the woods. But his plans os they unfold Got a dash of water oold; Borne one whispers in his ear, “Trousseau wanted, daddy, dear." Neutrality Explained. "I Bee be the papers," said Mr. Doo ley’s cousin, “that the Oblnnse are go ing to be neutrul.” “And what Is neutral?” asked Mr. Hennessy's uncle, who had Just drop ped lu. “Is It a shirt washery or a rat lncoobnther?’’ “Whin you’re neutral, Hlnnessy,’’ re plied Mr. Dooley’s cousin, “you kape your shlllnley hid away under your long tailed coat and only hit the lnlmy whin he isn't looking. “ ‘It's not me scrap,’ says the Ohink; It’s me,’ ho says, ’to the laundry,’ he Bays, 'and may tho best man win,’ he says, ‘which .the Itooslans,’ he soys, ’being bears,’ ho says, ‘and not men,' he says, ‘you may draw your own con- clooslons,' ho says, 'as to where me sympathies are placed,’ he says. ‘And If Japan,’ he says, 'can lick ’em single handed,’ he says, ‘we’U help,’ he says, •put on the finishing touches,’ be ■ays.’ “Is It plain to you now what neutral manes?’’ asked Mr. Dooley’s cousin. “It’s as clear os the mud in the duck pond,” said Mr. Hennessy’s uncle. “It Is all of that,” said Mr. Dooley’s cousin. She Knew Hew, Johnny—Let's play we were married and keeping houce. Bessie—No; mamma said we most aot quarrel. Use of Feme. Fame la not such a bubble As some folks try to tell. For any old thing that you writs At your own price will sell. Started a Panic. “Hold up your habdsl" As the reader may guess, these fate ful words were uttered by two bold and despemto highwaymen, and the steel of their revolvers glistening In the moonlight mado tho request seem even more emphntlc. "Certainly,” replied the citizen, re taining his presence of mind, that ap pearing to be the only thing that he could hope to retain under the circum stances. “Go through him, Bill,’’ commanded the leader of the bandits, who stood back and held his revolver at a sugges tive angle. "Couldn’t you take my coat also?" asked the citizen with a drawl, as the bandits made a collection of his valn- | ables. | “You must have escaped from the ln- , sane asylum,” said' the holdup man In reply. j "No," replied the victim, still talking In a drawl. “From the detention hos- 1 pttal. They had me quartered ob a smallpox suspect, and I'd like to trade ’ coats with somebody to fool the offl- ; cere who are In pursuit of me.” i But the latter part of the sentence { was wasted on the air, for the bandits had dropped his property and fled. Trouble may come when we are looking for It, but not from the direc tion In which we arc looking. When tire balloonist wants to have his wages raised he puts them In his pocket and takes them along on his flight The Best Joke. Somehow the joke that suits you best Tho story, smile compelling. The brightest quip, the neatest Jest Is one ot your own telling. Tho Incident Is pat and bright The moral always fitting, And all In all the thing Is quite Amusing--nay, side splitting. Something that happened by the way RcmlntlH you of a s ary. And you proceed without delay To spring one old and hoary That strikes you on tho tunny bone And seems so ciuo and witty That when your hearers want to groan They laugh, too, nut of pity. Alas, alack, the brightest tale That seems to you a Killer Is one that on the ark took sail And antedates Joe Miller, But still you fold It to your heart As though It took the money And spring It when you would be smart And wish to be real funny. But, ‘oh, your punishment Is swlftl Your hearer will not suffer In silence, but his voice will lift And tell you one that’s toughen Straight faced, though laughing In his sleeve, The man his heart will harden And tell one Adam told to Eve While walking In the garden. ”• 1 ■ n - « q v •( * ■ t p f't i hi "i(ed C •*. from • V Facte I'l.oitt;. "«?s( JK ■ OWll' - jY vVAR f ww; rmupwwr NTE $ m, a fo: 8 4 YEAi'tS it St j f Discovered Later. “Did he marry a uew woman?” “Well, after he look ad i;p-c! s record* he foued she was not as iv>>w <u he bud thought. ’ Their True Worth, Some* who art* woi-f’’ •' . W< *,»!«• jirovc th-y :■ x- «... At-.<3 rot! fuj* V- If ..-t n* cfcTjuxil All HU Fault. That he may smile while you perspire The postman thinks it’s fun Whim it’s love letters you dc3lre To hand you out a dun. Real Patriotism. “A mac must die but once, and how can be die better than for his eonn- try?’* “You forget, professur, abont those South American generate who htive to die once a mouth for their country In order to hold their jobs.” Where They Were Different. A consumptive individual with one foot In the grave and n bunch of corns on tho other was standing on the street corner sunning himself and wondering If the laBt three bottles of sure cure would do the trick when he met up with a Smooth One wearing Vandyke Whiskers and new clothes. “Haven’t I seen you somewhere?” asked tho Smooth One after a cordial greeting. “Possibly,” replied the consumptive dryly. “I have been somewhere quite frequently.” “But, joking aside,” returned the Smooth One, “you remind me of a gen tleman 1 met In New York who owned three banks and a match factory and who lind been mentioned for congress." “Was his name Flanders?” asked the consumptive cautiously. “Come to think of It, that was the name, Flanders. He may have been your uncle.” “Hardly,” replied the consumptive, ; edging away. “My name is Jones, and I If Flnnderri ever loaned you a dollar the resemblance does not go that far by any means.” Constant They sworo their love would never dim, So ardent was tho Kamo; In six months she'd forgotten him And couldn’t cull his name. And did he pine away and fade? Nay. ho hail found another maid. A Remarkable Bargain! A year’s Suscription to PEARSONS $i.oo i Your choice of any one of the following books originally issued at 1,50 ) C Both for $L25 Frank R. Stockton THE} ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN Horn , 11 Hi» best work. 1 Button A dvtrtiur FRANCES HODQSON BURNETT THAT LASS O' LOWRIES A novel of international reputation Clara Mortno A PASTEBOARD CROWN A rigorous and popular novel of tho New York’ stage Harrison Robertlon THE INLANDER H “ A novel of remarkable power. ’ 1 — iVoio Yo-.k Arthur R. Rcpco Q ON PETER'S ISLAND AO exciting Russian siory Molly Elliot Srnvucu. THE HOUSE OF EGREMONT “Romance filled with the two great qualities ot loyalty and love” Octave thmnet THE HEART OF TOIL “Not only good, but excellently tnld,”— London Daiky AVttor NOTE;—The acceptance of this offer not only secures the publications end books mentioned.;but it also entitles you to the privilege of buying for ore year books at discount price*! As this plan includes practically the entire fiction product of every American Publisher the magnitude of the proposition is readily apparent. A FEW WORDS ABOUT PEARSON’S MAGAZINE FCR IDfiiJ Pearson’s Magazine appeals to every member of the family. In the voids of a subscriber, ” It is the easy-to-read Magazine.” It is different from any other maga zine, and by that quality, although less than five years old, lias taken its place aiiionp.tt the very best sellers. Its field is a general one of wholesome entertainment and instructiveness. Following are four of the special features for 1904: WALL STREET METHODS Cyrus Townsend bradv FOR LOVE OF COUNTRY “An iutemcly patriotic tnlr,” snya the Outlook. One of hii best, CEOROE W. Cable JOHN MARCH. SOUTHERNER A celebrated story of the South Edward Eoclxston THE CIRCUIT RIDER “Fresh and vivid portraiture,” says the Christian Union E. W. Hornunq THE ROGUE’S MARCH “‘A noteworthy addition to romantic literature,” —Chitaso Tribunt Blanche Willis Howard THE GARDEN OF EDEN '•A fascinating, powerful novel. ”—Boston Btacon Richard Harding Davis GALLEGHER AND OTHER STORIES “Oalkgher” is the story that made the author famous. Robert Louis Stevenson ST. IVES His last and one of his finest novels Thomas Nelson Paoe PASTIME STORIES One of 1 heir Kind. “It 1r so annoying to hnve borrowing neighbors.” “Not for me. I always call the next day and beat them at their own, gome.” j OF "FINANCE” 9 ByHEJVRy CEORGE. Jr. , Anumberof ti ue accounts of some of the V,'all Street “deals” by which the savings of the many hare been sacrificed to satisfy the cravings of the few. Read these articles ar.d rcalhe the wisdom ®T the advice of tb*? l*t«? Governor Roswell P. | Flower to a party of hia friends to u ks.ep your i money in your pocket.” I MODERN INDIAN WARS • By CjnftVs* TO-WJfS^FTB 8'JtA2»3? A bfill V.nt Arid tlK-itlinir history of the hostile frontier of t. «■ pact forty ysara, ^ivinff jujti. e to . H 1publics;.: -netof such men asMlL* L s vv-. in, Crook*, Ff*srr»f, Custer, Carrington, . MvKi'Nzis, R o''aro, Wheaton, Davm, Sully. . X. ,-l.cer Giia other*; -takiV ’ " ** * 1 r. proper , lr.20 i :. fiirlif *nd d;.. - history c Mighty Rare. ’Tls said that truth Is mighty, And maybe It Is «o. If ever the nsaesv-r Could find some he m Ight know. The Only Kx;.;ine: n. “I found one tow.j np .. Maine In ! Which 1 could not bur » -. 'Ink.” “I didn't, fcumv, w»-rc tu'rfcjV at «M»y tltnc.wi.itc qu trip.” 1 Nothing Else Wiil Make Them Quit. I “He won ?10,000 on the races and re-' 1 tired.” “That so? What was he arrested for?” Reciprocity. On eandy he won good and strong,' 9* brought her many a pound. And she was sweet on him a* long AS ho brought sweetness round. ■ TOM NAST, CARTOONIST ’ByAE’BERT ‘BIGELOW TAI.NB Illustrated by the choicest of the world-far.-., us,- cartoons of the nmnwhohasbccn.-'.-.-crihei! u- tiio greatest tnclticr v/ public <»/:/./.gt.y, .An. wtt* 't he biofrrrphy of N«&t Is vrr**r.t!y i: pi'.- ture of the times v/hen history was warm iu the making. Tbo Overthrow of 'tfi6 T v ^c^ The Civil War Pc-rlcd—The sTm-r: J3 of <3tnvpry~YHe Kftccr.svuo’.ion r:o.2-?bflflrucIav rw. paifjo-1 ha oArlbp.ldi CsvcsfjiiijM in ite v - i*htj 'Croat fCroov'ii'-G '..'a Fight In London- Th* Slaiho'.Vixc*- donilal Campald’t uvea f«wrf the important Vratiinss which the senes :»f six or eight* papers are built. TFFV "FvirtATlOm OF AN SrnrSRNATIONAL SPY “Which ran in Pfarson’u thmugli the first %lx: mo .:hs of xqoj, will be re«uined in TAiuuny, 1.^04. This new s-tqt detective rtorirp I. .'on arrzt’ccd for In rtsnonse to the drmir of thr>M«ands of readers who regretted u e U:r'mig.«t:on of the hrst series. The author f-tiU stipuJtu. tbnt hi»r^rae,' must remain a secruc SitLicribcrs to this cdnibinafinn who wont more than one book t « atovs fist fra add 49 cents for earn pools required. Send your orders to Peerson T: hi ■ ■ h O ‘Atsicir aiT.-cv-- York.