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-a-a-T' — Vienna Progress. | 11. D. SMITH. .Kntoied fis second clfts iruil matter JUNE 0 1004. Served Him Right. A typist. Chawing >: im, one day dot on tho old man's oarves, nnd, Bay. Ho flrco hnr for dial little trick; tioi-nur ;. d her on the double quick. The Explosion. The auto rushing at full speed Scoots proudly down the track. Tho rider sits with hend erect And never once looks back, But, oh, pride has an awful jolt ’When It picks up a tack. But Bhc’n avenpr-d .11 right, nil right He got o now girl, pert and bright. 'Cainst quip and gibe she Is Immune And nlntra "Bedolla" out of tune. Need Watching. “When yon nre lh Romo you uniat do i wind colic, as tho Romans do.” “Not necessarily, but yon must watch out or the Romans will do you.” Knew One Thing. "Can you doctor automobiles?” asked j the chauffeur, pulling up in front of' the veterinary surgeon's office with his disabled machine?” | “Well,” said the genial horse doctor. | feeling of tho flattened tire, “I do not make a specialty of it. htit I r.-irt roll j you til.' - tills one is not suffering from * “ “ i 0 0 0 Had a Motive. “Do you think the colonel will be elected?" “Yes, when he Is around. I am stuck on his brand of ci- gurs.” 0 0 0 Mark of Distinction. "Bay, what'll cure rheumatism?” “I don't know." “Don't know! You must bo bidding for tho hall of fame.” She Always Gets It. The shirt waist girl Is here once mors With blushing check of tun, And she will captuif, as of yore, The heart of tlm.la man. She'll march along, her golf bag slung At her nthlotlc side, Whllo closo beside It will be hung Ills scalp, securely tied. Hid the Gsme Beaten. “If yon think war is a picnic,'young Sann, you bad butter try elsewhere.” “Oh, I don’t know. I am going nlong as n surgeon." On the Right Track. “What are you hunting?” “Trouble, I guess, judging from the tmmlicr of “No Trespass” signs I have passed.” Couldn't Have Both, “Of course there Is money In liens," “Possibly, but I don’t enro about go ing through life without neighbors.” Must Be. "la Jones an optimist?” “Is lio? That man would pny alimo ny cheerfully!" Just a Habit "Poor boy! His sweetheart has learn ed to lovo another.” “If you knew her you wouldn’t say that. She did not have to learn. It comes natural to her.” The Usual Way, "How did he break himself of tho habit of drinking?” "He didn't, It broke him.” Evidently. He wan a meld younBster: ho'iir-. ■ cr auilcd hi- blij. He never went In swimming, he nev er told a lib, He never teased foi pennies nor cried when .left alone. As you may guess, this youngster was carved In puro white stone. PERT PARAGRAPHS. Should Keep It Up. “Wliat do yon think of n mnu who It really only takes one to make u quarrel,' if he Is determined. will sell bin vole for n cigar?” “I think lie should smoko in the next world ns well as in tills.” After a man hns been married a year he wonders how It over happened. Children nro suro to be the victims of their own bud judgment when they give nn III timed Imitation of tho head of the house in a joking humor. If There Were a Choice. “I wouldn't marry him if he were the Inst man on earth 1” "You bet you couldn’t if you were not the last woman.” People who can’t take n Joke ure apt to bo regarded by their acquaintances as great jokes themselves. There 1b nothing remarkably forbid ding about a dentist's ofllce, but many people linve lost tliclr nerve there. A Good Reason. The reason that wo call It spring Is. plain as poster type, For that's the season of the year When new spring hats are ripe. Came the Same Way. “Some fiend incarnate hns stolen my umbrella.” “You talk as- though It was one that you bought” A Better Name. “How did ho make his money?” “In the brewery business.” “I'd call that pleasure rather than business.” To get the disagreeable truth nbout yourself ask tho children. Commercialized. Then honors cheer the prophet, For In his native land When he can spell it profit They rush to clasp his hand. Tho fool who admits his folly Is no fool. Make good when the sun shines ami come in when it rains. In No Danger. “Yesi-I expect to live 100 years." "You should easily on the theory that death loves a shining mark.” The Big Difference. “What is tho difference between a nurse and a trained nurse?” . “All of |10 n week.” No man cnir v. in a girl by talking exclusively about the weather. There are no rules for ploying the game of heu-'s. A two spot often captures a q'ic-en. A scholarship in the Ga.-Ala bus mens college is for sale at this office. There is a bargain in it. If the Russians want onr sympathy they should saw off two-thirds of their names. There is u time fur all tilings, and tho time lo ent Is when you have a incnl ticket. An ounce of prevention is not worth a pound of cure if the prevention is quinine Vnd the pure Is a trip to the seashore. t By no stretch of the Imagination can nn alnrm clock he made to sound like music in the early hours of the morn ing. « rerhnps the doctors disagree so that they may have nwhnnce to charge two fees. When the asylum burns down the blind man can see his finish'.' Take Different Views. When In the windows on display Spring hats stand forth In state, Pleased man takes notice, by the way, Of those marked .08. / He looks again nnd murmurs, "That Is stylish and will do.” But wifle, dear, Is looking at A "ltd" marked <32. Dr. Carlisle's Liver Pills. these pills meet a want of the people' that ro putont pill can supplv, being the ffitnlUgent administration of an efficien lemedy When tho elimination ot dis eased matter in necessary, theso pills havr no snpurior, especially in a Southern climate, where the Mood is socontm ifiated with.malnrial poison. No intelligent phjsiclrn w'.U hesitate for a moment to recommend these pllli,- , tho formula, which is invariably approved by tho medical profession, being printed on each paOKnge. Directions; For Torpid Liver, Dys pepsia, indigestion, Sick Headachel Oon - stipation, Colds, Swimming in the head,. & c., < no or two pills should be taken at. bedtime. For Chills nnd Fever, Billious int ermittent or continued Fever a fall dose- should he taken. As a laxativoono to two pill at bedtime. As a purge, two to three'pills at bedtime- DR. R. M. CARLISLE., MACON , t\ 13,000 MILKS FOR *26. The Atlantic & Birmingham rail way has placed on sale at its princi pal Tioket Offices 1,000 Mile Tiokets at rate $26.00, goodover the follow- i ig lines; Atlanta & Birmingham Air Line Atlanta, Knoxville & Northern Ry. Atlanta & Wnst Point R. R: Atlantic & Birmingham Ry. Atlantie Coast Line R. R. Charleston & Western Carolii a Ry Goorgia Railroad. Louisville & Nashville R. R, Nashville, Chattanooga & St. Louis Ry!' Richmond, Fredericksburg & Potomac R ; R Seaboard Air Line Ry. Waebington'Southorn, Ry. ‘Western’* Atlantic R.R. Western Railway of Alabama. These Lines comprise 13,000 Miles of Railroads. This ticket presents tho cheapest and most convenient form of travel. H. C. MoFADDEN, General Passenger Agent. i / 1 it you are on a Rural Free Delivery Mail Route UNCLE SAM SAYS That you must haveja oy the Postmaster General, If you the R. F. D., We have for sale one of That is approved get your mail on on the market; latest, approved by the Postmaster General. fjlTL ^ "O ^ J. J. COOPER, Proprietor 1