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=s= Vienna Progress. H. D. SMITH. EnteredTts second clas mail matter JUNE 21 1004. ✓ It 1b not much cheaper to move than 'pay rent'If trouble counts for anything. The'child often wishes he wore the father to the man when ho thinks tho parent needs spanking. Often a married man writes out n declaration of lndeponden . hut never muBters up courage to r.V It to Ids wife. No matter how scarce It may he. qulnlno Is always a drug on tho mar ket. It Is nil right to talk about telling your troubles to a policeman, but just try It once, If you have not a political pull, and see how long he will stuud for It. The man who can make a mountain ; out of. a molehill Is not necessarily a ! miracle worker. • — ! It Is quite a safo bet that a politician docs not offer you a cigar unless ho has somo object In view. Fourth of July ilrecrackcrs are be ginning to look around for thumbs to trim. Sometimes tho bad boy In school thinks It Is capital punishment to bo mado to sit with the girls. While there are- more ways than one of skinning a cat, one will do the cat No man lilies to bo presented with a bill tho first of tho month unless It Is a dollar bill., ^ In Hard Lines. Pause, stranger; drop A tear for the Delaware peach crop. Not dead, you say 7 Go away! It has been killed thirty-six ncur that amount By actual count. If It Is not dead yet It hf-a safe bet To say . That It will be killed aeveral times a day Until the crop Is rlpo Unless the pipe Goes out. And It must be n good, stout, Husky peach crop i Thnt will not dr#p Out ot tho game Or at least Walk lams - " And feel Limp and all used up after such an ordeul. But that Is the way. Just ns soon ns tho peach crop begins to feel gay "Birrr Says Jack Frost, and It is knocked stiff. And even whllo Its friends gose On the remains and the bnnd plays Blow muslo It Is killed again. Five, ten, • A score Or mors Times , It must Bite the dust. It Is hard to die younr. Unwept, unhonored and unsung, But tho peach crop Is resigned. It doesn't mind A little thing like that; It thrives and grows fat On killing. It Is willing To do that much to add to the gaysty of nations. Never fear, you'll And Its smiling face Blushing as of yore In the market place. Ought To, “You understand railroading?” "Yes.” “Tell me, then, does a mulatto ride on a half fair ticket?” "TBllOWS He Understood. “Miss Jonks has such a sweet face.” “If you had purchased qb much candy to stow away lu It as I have you would know why.” Very, A little bird sang In a tree, Ah, mel But wouldn't It havo been absurd Bupposa a tree sang In a bird? Sharp Bargain, “I wish I know how to get something for nothing.” "Can’t you trade your thoughts for a penny?" There may be sermons In Bongs, but most people prefer ragtime. A man hns a largo bump of confi dence who goes on a visit to Ills wife’s relntlons without purchasing' a return ticket. It Is unlucky,to look down the busi ness end of a tblrteeu inch gun during wartime. Pride goes before u fall, and hilarity comes round tho corner just behind it. A thing one lias no use for is dear at any price. A big head Is n good thing if it is natural and not superinduced. When You Are Broke. When you are broke Tfnd rent Is due Tho world looks blue, your frlonds are few, And, though you try to catch their eye. They never speak as they pass by. When you nr© broke it’s very clear That all tha sphere Is out of gear. Though in deep gullo you try to smile. You know that nothing Is worth while. When you aro broke and long to meet One who will treat so you may eat, Each man will tell he’s broke as well . Or else will ring the chestnut bell. When you are broke the girls are shy. . They turn and fly whan you come nigh. Your heart they crush without a blush And turn to some one with more slush. When you nro broko turn any way, Borne one will say, "Plcaso pay, please pay.” You almost can adopt a plan By which to blithely kill a man. Clear Gain, , "No young man should live beyond bis means.” “But isn’t he just that much ahead?” SOMETHING FOR NOTHING, When mother on a shopping tour Pares iruyly through the tow a She's not h<> eager to secure The latest thing marked down. She's Hoek/ng In her dnl'j- trarapB Tliose gay, seductive : ading stamps. A scholarship in tho Ga.-Aln 1ms- 'mess college is for sale at this otfioo. There is a bargain in it. Tho trading s' Alluring Is ui Thu most T- rs It makes UP And-buy and I Of everyth': When clir. with cart- and somo distress. Has gathered to ner hold A thousand of them! more or less, She says, "They're good as gold.” And to -the premium pnrlors she Will fly as happy as can be. There she'll select a rocking chair Or else mayhap a lamp. A thing of plainly third rate ware, Of "bargain counter'' sump, But mother proudly shows her prise. “It didn't cost a tHIng!" she erics. A New Reading, “Come, come, John,’’ snltl his father; "keep better hours. This will never dp. The onrly bird catches tho worm, you- know.” “Nothnueh dad," returned John. “It might Imre been so In your tlmo, but tho worm will turn, you know, nnd bow we go after him by tho moon’s pale light, trn, la.” When Up Is Down. Manager — Stark these goods down from $2.00 to 12.08. New Clerk—Thnt isn’t down. Manager—It is for a bar gain sale. Her Sad Surprise. When freedom from her mountain height Unfurled her standard to tho air I She flew It higher than n kite { And doubtless meant to keep It there. ' But, ah, her hopes were doomed to fall! Behold that Btarry banner denr Bedecking wagon, cart 'and hall And advertising lager beer. Even Worse. Man cannot live by bread alono, Though some bad men would choose At once, could they but havo their way. To live alone on boose. And Her Husband Received His Orders. “Doctor.” said tho sick woman wea rily, waving aside the-glass be offered her, “there is only one thing that I am able to take." "What Is that?” gently inquired tho rising young physician. "A trip to California.” And the doc tor took a tumble. Something as Warm. "One swallow does not make a sum mer.” “Deponds on wbnt it is n swallow of.” Dr. Carlisle’s Liver Pills. these pills moet a want of tho people- that no patent pill can supply, being tho Intelligent adminiftration of an efficien remedy. When the elimination ot dis eased mutter is necessary, theso pills havo no superior, especially in a Southern climate, where the blood issocontnv mated, with, malarial poison. No intelligent physiol:n will hesitate’ fofn moment to recommend tbe*> pills, tho formula, which is invariably ap; - oved by tho medical profession, being printed- on oach pr.cKngo. • Directions; For Torpid .Llvor, Dys pepsia, Indigestion, Sick Hoadachol Con stipation, Colds, Swimming In the head, & c., tne or two pills should ho taken at bedtlmo. * For Chills and Fever, Billious int ermittent or continued Fever a lull dose should he taken. As a laxative one to two pill at bedtime. As a purge, two to throe'pills at bedtime. DR. R. M. CARLISLE. , MACON, 13,000 MILES FOR $25, Tho Atlantic & Birmingham rail way has placed on sale at its princi pal Ticket Offices 1,000 Milo Tickets at rate $25.00,good^over the follow- i ig lines: Atlanta & Birmingham Air Lino Jij Atlanta, Knoxville & Northern Ry. Atlanta & Wnst Point R. R: Atlantic & Birmingham Ry. Atlantic Coast Line R, R. Charleston & Western Carolii a Ry Goorgia Railroad. LoitlsviUo & Nashville R. R.’ Nashville, Chattanooga & St. Louis Ry.’, Richmond, Fredericksburg A Potomac R,Jt Seaboard Air Line Ry. Washington’Southorn Ry. ' Wostorn & Atlantic R.R. Western Railway of Alabama. These Lines comprise 13,000' Miles of Railroads. This tioket presents the cheapest and most convenient form of travel. H. C. McFADDEN, General Passenger Agent, If you are on a Rural Free Delivery Mail Route UNCLE SAM SAYS That you must have|a BOX That is approved py the Postmaster General* If you get your mail on the R. R D., We have for sale one of THE BEST on the market; latest approved by the Postmaster (jeneral. QTJjg StOrG. J. J. COOPER, Proprietor m-