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| POETRY. | ♦ + THE MUCH ADMIRED SON G, Let him meet his welcome home Banijh grief thou lovely creature, See who comes to bring the peace ; Joy now Jparkling in each feature. Bids thy grief and for row cease. O'er the rude the boifl'rous ocean, He by fate was doom'd to roam — Cease dear Maid, this wild emotion Let him meet his welcome home. Now from Jlav'ry come to greet thee Saved by fate from Algiers coajl ; See, he flies , sweet Maid to inset thee, Love and constancy is his hoc ft; Each long night be pafl'd in forrew, Made him bless each day to come y Hope, that on each joyous morrow, He Jbould meet his welcome home. Banijh grief, thou lovely creature, See thy Jailor brings the peace Know'ft thou not these fun burnt features ? William bids thy for row cease: On the rude, the boisterous ocean, He no more jhall luckless roam — Then dear Maid, with glad emo tion, Joyful hail his welcome home. AN OLD MAID'S DREAM. I am one of those antiquated and belplcfs animals commonly called an old maid. Before en tering on my dream, it may be neccflary to give you the out lines of which I (hall do very bir v. lam defen ded of a re. edable family, and being the ifame daughter, and favorite of an old maiden aunt, at her decease (he left me her whole property, amounting to 12,0001. This with a tolerable (hare of personal and mental ac complilhments, soon brought a crowd of admirers about me, and at the age of eighteen I was the toad of the town. The fir(t who paid his ad drefies to me was Efculapius Cljfterpipes, a physician, who had feraped together fome mo ney in the Weft-Indies. Things went on swimmingly till the marriage contra# came to be drawn out, and other prelimi naries adjusted. I had frequent ly heard him throw out hints relpeding my 12,0001. and thought it was now high time to inform him I was only pof feiTed of soool. having lhared my legacy equally with my other filters. He seemed thun derstruck at the intelligence, but recovered him fell so far as to tell me he would call on me to morrow, but that morrow has not yet arrived, tnough sixty years have intervened. My next fuiter was Timothy Ka. k rent, a neighboring heritor, whole estate was deeply mort gaged, and which he hoped to redeem by tfpoufing my i:,ooo pounds. To make a long tale short, he split on the fame rock Efculapius had done, and so there was an end of the matter. My third and lafl wooer was Boanerges Blunderbuss, an of ficer of marines. He was the meft serious and ardent of all my lovers, and had T not con sented almost at fir(l fight to be come his bone and his fle(h, I verily believe he would have carried the citadel by storm. Matters having come this length I thought myfelfjuftified in ac quainting him with the extent of my fortune, on which he started up, and exclaimed, €( Egad, Madan, you have ruin ed me—2oool. won’t do my business, but I have as much in my pocket as will do.” Having ended this exclamation, he left me with the greatest fangfroid imaginable, and walked into an adjoining field, very deliberately blew his brains out. The cause of this catastrophe was not long a mystery, for the very next week Mordecai cent, per cent, came down from London with a bond of the captain’s for io,oool. and was very much mortified that the marriage had not taken place. He was ob liged however, to content him felf with the effeds of the de ceased, which confided of his regimental suit, an old sword, two (hirts, a pair of velvet bree ches jammed, and an old big coat, which had been twice turn ed, with fome other minutiae too trifling to deserve notice. Having had such flagrant and repeated proofs of the perfidy of mankind, 1 now seriously re folvcd to die a maid. lam long since proof against the invedives of mankind, and when a(ked if I recoiled the mirk Monday, the windy Saturday, the battle of the Boyne, &c. &'C. it docs not give me the fmallcft unea siness. The only thing which has ruffled my temper these forty was a distant relation of mine, who told me a week ago, ft I lhould lead apes in hell.” Tho’ this sarcasm has been cad in my teeth an hundred rimes before, Ido not recoiled that it ever made so deep an impreflion, and on falling asleep in all probabi lity it occasioned the following dream : Methought F was transported to the infernal regions, and fafe ly ferryed over the river Styx. On the other fide, a fcoundrel looking fellow, very like a mes senger at arms, took me into his custody, and conduded me to the tribunal of Rhadamanthus. The good old gentleman ques tioned me very particularly how I had spent my time in the world, and was so well fatisfied with the candor and fidelity of my answers, that he ordered the keeper of Erebus to conduct me to Elysium. We had proceed ed only a few steps, when Rhad amanthus called me back, and questioned me whether I had any lovers in the world, as 1 had not had a hufoand. I here told him the particulars of Clyfter pipes, Rackrent, and Blunder buls, as before narrated. Very well, madam, fays he, you must lead apes in hell. I was so thunder (truck ac these words, that I was ready to drop down, when the keeper putting his arm under mine, half dragged and half carried me out of the court j and in a few minutes brought me to a large building with an iron door, very much refem • filing a prison. He went in, and returned immediately with an iron chain in his hand, which he made me take hold of, and bade rne move briskly forward. I began my march as directed, but wishing much to fee what kind of apes hell produced, I peeped over my (houlder in order to fatisfy my curioficy.— But, oh ! what was my surprise, when I found I had got my three quondam sweet-hearts in tow. The chain which I had in my hand was twenty feet long, and towards the farther extremity divided into three diftind chains with each a hook annexed to it. These three hooks were fixed through the three noses of the gentlemen aforefaid. I could not but refled: on the droll figure they made. Clyfterpipes had a set of surgical instruments in one hand, and a neccflary utensil full of medicines in the other. Rackrent had in his right hand a receipt for making tenants subsist on yams and peafe draw ; and in his left, an empty purse, as large and as long as the panta* loons of a Hessian hussar. Blun derbuss had on one (houlder a bomb-ketch, and on the other a pennyworth of bread and oni ons with a label on his bread, “ I am my country’s pride and defence.” As my antipathies againd this worthy triumvirirc had long since fublided, I was going to condole with them on their unhappy situation. But no sooner did they recognize me, than all gave a sudden and involuntary spring backward, and I not having time or pre fcnce of mind to let go the chain, the noses of all three were torn in the mod deplorable manner, The exquisite pain made them set up such a hideous roar as alarmed all hell, and I awoke in the utmod horror and perturba tion. It was a con fide rablc time before I could believe myfelf to be an inhabitant of this world, but the return of day, and three different calls to breakfaft con vinced me.—When I joined the family, breakfad was half over. The gentleman who infulced me the day before, alked me what had detained me so long ? I re plied, I had been leading apes in hell. The company desired me to explain myfeifi when I told them my lad night’s dream. During the narration, tne afore faid gerffieman turned as pale as death /but whether from com puridion at his insolence to me the day before or from fear of being led by the nose, by fome injured female, in the world to come, I could not tell though I think the lad probable. I would not h ive such another | dream for all the apes on this, or the other fide Styx. But ] terrible as it was, it has been productive of fome advantage, in as much as it has explained the mvderious dodrine of ape leading, and given us toundcr dand who the apes are. As it may be of importance to the whole antiquated fiderhoed, to be acquainted with this fad, I requtlt the favor you will give my dream a place, and in return, I promise to exert my utmod influence to keep the promon nory of your face unmolcded in the world to come, l am, Sir, yours, W ith the propounded efteero and refped, PENELOPE SKINFLINT. Dianlurgb, Plutonic- Court , 28 ih January 1805. 11. ■ Meditations on a Broom Stick. This Angle (lick, which you now behold inglortoufly lying in that ncgleded corner, lor.ce knew in a flourifhing date in the sored, it was full of sap, full of leaves, and full of boughs ; but now in vain does the busy art of man pretend to vie with nature, by tying that withered bundle of of twigs to its sapless trunk.— It is now at bed but the reverse of what it was, a tree turned up side-down, the branches on the earth, and the root in the air.— It is now handled by every dirtv wench, and condemned to do her drudgery, and by a capri cious kind of fate, dedined to make her things clean and be nady itfelf: at length, worn to the dumps in the lervice of the maids, it is either thrown out of doors or condemned to the lad use of kindling a fire when I beheld this I sighed and said within fnyfelf, surely mortal man is a Broomfl'ick ! Nature lent him into the world drong and ludy, in a thriving condition, wearing his own hair on his head, the proper branches of this rea fonrng vegetable, until the axe of intemperance has lopped off his green boughs, and left him a withering trunk; he then flies to art, and puts on a periwig, valuing h mfelf upon an unna tural bundle ofhairs, all cover ed with powder, that never grew upon his head : but now, lhould this, cur Brccmftick, pretend to enter the fceoe, proud of rhofe birchen fpoi'ls it never bore, Seal! covered with dud, though the sweepings of the firft lady’s chamber, we (hould be apt to . ridicule and despise its vanity. Partial judges that we are of our own excellencies, and other men’s defaults > : iut a Broomflich. , perhaps you will fay, is an emblem of a tree danding on its head ; and pray what is man but a topfyturvy creature ; his animal faculties continually mounted over his rational, his head where his fycels (hould be, grovelling on the earth ; and yet with all nis faults, he fees up to be an universal re former and corrector of abuses, a remover of grievances rakes into every slut’s corner of na ture, bringing hidden corrupti ons to the light, and raises a | mighty dud where there was j none before, (haring deeply all j the while in the very fame pol lutions he pretends to (weep away, When worn to the (lumps like his brother broom, he is either, kicked out of doors, or made ule of to kindle flames for others to warm themfclves by. F O U N D, NEAR Petersburg, a Giltcd Watch, by one of my Negroes, fome time in May lafl. The Owner is requested to come forward by the 25th of December next, prove his pro perry and take it away, or the Watch will be returned to the P rion who found it. THOMAS STOKET