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The Cartersville Express I, D«bHshe4 Semi-Weekly on ev«*ry TUEB - ANI> KHID.VY, by saMUEL H. SMITH, Editor and Prop'r. i, the town of Cartersville, Bartow County, Ga. Terras of Subseliption : one ropy one rear (in advance,).. sa.oo one oop’v six rawntbs, “ IJK Thurwuiy Morning Edition, one year) 1.50 Thi* latter proposition is confined to citizens t ,f Bartow County only. Terms of Advertising: Transit »t {Owe Month or hr**.') per square often solid Nonpariel or Brevier lines or less. One Dollar for tbc first, and Fifty Cents for each sub sequent, Insertion. Annual or Contract , One Hundred and Twenty Dollars per column, or in that proportion. (fa»;ds. •foiln XV- WoJloi’fl, ATTORNEY AT LAW. CARTERBVILLK GEORGIA. Office over Pinkerton’s Drug Store. Oct. IT. W. T. WOFFORD, A. I’. WOKFUBU. XVofford «V Wofford, ATTORNEYS ATUW, CART EESVILLE, .GEORGIA. June 23, 1870. It. W. lUlirpliej , ATTTORNEY AT LAW, CAETEUSVILLE, .GEORGIA. Will practice in the courts of the Cherokee circuit. Particular* attention given to the col- Mction of claims. Office with Col. Al>»!a Jolm >oii. Oct. 1. J«tt ii J. Jones, ATTORNEY AT LAW & REAL ESTATE AGENT, CARTERSVILLE GEORGIA. Will attend promptly to all proffessional busi ness entrusted to Ins care; also, to the buying and selling of Heal estate. Jan 1. •f rf‘. Howard, Ordinary of Bartow County, anti ATTORNEY ANO COUNSELLOR AT LAW. CA RT KftS VI LLE GEORGIA. Jan 1, 1870. % • JB. FoiCe, ATTORNEY AT LAW. CARTERSVILLE, GEORGIA. ( With Col. Warren Ale in.) Will practice in the courts of Bartow, Cobh, Polk, Floyd, Gordon, Murray, Whitfield and ad joining counties. March 30. JNO. COXK, J. H. WIKLB. €o\e 4k Wilde, ATTORNEYS AT LAW AND NOTARIES PUBLIC. C tfIWRSVILMi,' y..:’. .. ...GEORGIA. John Coxe, Commissioner of Deeds for South Carolina. _ _ Sept 9. T. W. MU.NER, O. 11. MILNER. Jlilner & Jlilner, ATTORNEYS AT LAW. CARTERSVILLE, .GEORGIA W ill attend promptly to business entrusted to their care. ’ .Jan. 15. Warren Akin, ATTORNEY AT LAW. CARTERSVILLE, GEORGIA. 4 Will practice in all the courts of the State. Nlllll. 13. Patillo 9 . Fashionable Tailor and Agent for Sewing Machines, WILT, attend promptly to the Cutting, Re pairing, and Making Boys’ and Mens’ nothing; also, Agent for tshe. s tie. of the cele brated Grover & Maker Solving Machines. .Of fice over Stokely & Williams Store. Entrance from the rear. fob IT. Ifr* ,f• A- Jackson, PRACTICING PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON, nr FIE IX DR. PINKER VOX'S DRUG STORE HE lias so arranged his business that he is now prepared to devote his whole time and attention ts the practice, and he feels confident, with his extensive experience, that he can give entire satisfaction. A liberal share of patron age respectfully solicited. Cartersville, Jan (5. Jktltii XV. Dyer, HOUSE-PaIITER. CARTERSVILLE, GEORGIA. Will attend promptly to business in liis line. Jan 19, IS70 —\vly tV. It. Tloiiiiitasdc, Jeweler and Watch and Clock Repairer, CARTERSVILI E, GEORGIA. Office in front of A. A. Skinner A Co’s Store. House, MARIETTA, /...GEORGIA. 18 still open to the traveling public as well as summer visitors. Parties desiring to make arrangements for the season can he accommo dated. Rooms neat and clean and especially adapted for families. A line large piazza has been recently added to the comforts of the estab lishment. ,FLLTCM LR & FREY HR, junelSwtf ♦ 1 Proprietors. !Engllsli Ncliool. MISS MINDA HOWARD will open an Eng lish Mixed School, in a School Room just , completed, near the. residence of J. A. Howard, 1 (JartersriHe, Ga., on the Second Monday in July ! next. Girls and little boys will be admitted on the following terms : jftrst Class : Spelling, Heading. Writing, Primary Arithmetic and Geography, (per nonth) $1.50 SsrtontJ Class: English Grammar, Geography, Histo ry, and Arithmetic,,Q>er month,) $2.00 No deduction made Odious of time, except in eases of protracted sickness. The term will cud on tM 12th of December next. CSirtersvflk?, June 30-wliu G.W.LEE& CO, J_JAVE TAKEN CHARGE OF THE Foundry and Machine Shop, h#r«tofore owned and rnn bv MR. B. SCOFIELD, of this place, and have engaged the services of J John el. MjaFontaine, Os Atlanta, Ga., as Foreman, which is a sufii cient guarantee for the success of the establish ment, as it is a well known fact, throughout the State, that for promptness and ability, he can not he surpassed. We have, also, procured the services of’the Best Moulder In tlie South; Also a cords of other Mechanics, and a netv supply of Machinery and Tools have been pur chased# - Mr. J. R. HOWELL, The Renowned Mill-Wrlg , ht ? Will make his headquarters at this Shop, where his celebrated H'ater IP ft eel, and other MILL. MACHINERY, will he built. Orders art solicited, at once, for am/ kind of Casting or piece of Machinery. We claim a trial, as we are strictly Southern mechanics, and de fy Northern competition to do better or cheaper work., v > Wit (Guaranty 3oh ©He ®o. Will tell parties to the day when they chn hare their work, ami, if not done according to prom ise, will make no charge. We'ask the patronage of our friends of the South, Aid us, and keep the money at Irofnc. G. W. LEJG k CO. Cartersvil 1 Ga., June 20, 1810. ''' : " 1 ... SAM’L H. SMITH, VOL. ». H. h. niTTI.I.O, Agent j GROVER & BAKER'S CELEBRATED S3EOTG IMHim BOTH THE ELASTIC AW» SHUTTLE OR LOCKSTITCH, SUITABLE FOR ANY KIND OF FAMI LY SEWING JIONE BLUER- Men and Boys’ Clothing Made on the Most Reasonable Terms. In fact, almost any description of SEWING clone AsCheoj) as tlio Olieapest! AND 1A TSIK 15ESTT STYLE. IhKEDDING, gus w DEALER i;\ STOVES, CRATES, AND LIGHTNING RODS, PLAIN, PRESSED AND JAPANED TIN WARE, AND House Furnishing Goods, Maiin Str., Cartersville, All kinds of Job Work done with neatness and dispatch. Tlie firm of Strange & Redding having been dissolved, by mutual consent, I will continue the business at the old stand, feb 15 wly R REDOING. Atlanta Stencil & Variety AVo^ks! SEN. Z. DUTTON, Manufacturer of and Dealer in Stciici! SSl'ilii<L-<, Steel Vies, Steel Block Stamps, Ranting Brands, Brass Alphabets, and all Articles kept in a first class STBS GIL JIoCSBi VRICE L IS 7 OF Ml I ILABL E A R TICL ES Stencil Name dates for mark’g cloth’g, 75c Steel 'ting, for keeping keys together, 25c New Style key tag, with name neat eng. 25c Perpetual Almauao, the most ingenious little article of the age, 50c Any of the articles in this list will be mailed, to any address, on receipt of price, or the whole of them for $1 25 Address BEN. Z. DUTTON. Lock Box 351, mch 22-wly Atlanta, Ga. N. B.—Circulars sent free. REPAIRER OF JEWELRY, CLOCKS, ANO WATCHES; Also keep on hand and for sale the above goods. Room in the store of Simon Liebman, Cartersville, meh 22. LIVERY STABLE. ISTord & Moon. cartersville] ga., tS prepared, at all hours, to furnish con veyances into the country —saddle-horse, buggy, hack, rockaway, or wagon. Also, to board stock, &c. uov. 3. if and GEAR, Manufactured and Repaired in the very best style of the art, in the quickest time and at the shortest notice, and for less money than is usually paid for such work and stock. Try me ! W. C. EDWARDS. Cartersville. inch 9—wly M fe V Teeth drawn without pain, by the use of nar cotic spray. mch 9. W Id GILBERT % GO., CARTERSVILLE, GA., Dealer's In HARD WARE, IRON, STEEL, NAILS, CASTINGS, AGRICULTURAL IM PLEMENTS, and GRASS SEEDS, TERMS FROM THIS DATE*: STBIOTLY CASH. Agents for sale of Tliresiling and Mill Machinery. Agents for sale of Murfee Su!> Soil Blows. Agents for sale of FERTILIZERS. Dickson’s Compound; JVItsHD hxLZE W' OOE’S, Baugh’s Raw Bone, fAnd OTHERS. Agents for sale of Polk County Slates IPoe liooiiix**-. Ci GEORGIA, BARTOW COUNTr.-Whereas, jfMrs. Fannie C. Pritchett, and M. L. 1 ritch ,ett haVe applied to me for letters of administra tion on the estate of William If. Pritchett, dec’d, late of said county. These are, therefore, to cite and admonish all concerned, to show cause, if any they have, on or before the Ist Monday in September, next, Why said letters should not be granted said ap plicants. J. J. HOWARD, Ordinary B. C. July ?8 1810 CSVBTEKSVILLE, BARTOW COUNTY, «EORIiLi, SEPT. Ifi. IS7O. TO PHYSICIANS. New York, August 15th, 1868 Allow me to call your attention to my Preparation of Compound Extract Buchu. The component parts are BUCHU LONG LEAF, CUBEBS, JUNIPER BE RRIES. Mode of Preparation. —Buchu, in vacuo. Juniper Berries, by distillation, to form a fine gin. Cubebs extracted by displacement with spirits spirits obtained from Jump-r Berries: very little sugar is used, and a small proportion of spirit. It is more palateable than any now in use. Buchu, as prepared by Druggists, is of a light oolor. It is a plant that emits its fragrance ; the action of a flame destroys this (its active principle,) leaving a dark and glutinous decoction. Mine is the color of ingredients. The Buchu in oty preparation predomi nates; the smallest quantity of the other ingredients | are added, to prevent fermentation ; upon inspec- I t-lon, it will be found not to be a Tincture, as made in Pharmacopoea, nor Is it a Syrup—and therefore can be used in cases where fever or inflammation ex ist. In this, you have the knowledge of the ingredi ents and the mo le of preparation. Hoping that yon will favor it with a trial, and that upon inspection it will meet with your approbation With a feeling of confidence, I am very respectfully yours, 11. T.IIELMBOLD, C ncmist vnd Druggist of 10 gears' experience. % [From the Largest Manufacturing Chemists in the World.] November 4, 1854. “I am acquainted with Mr. H. T. Hembold ; he oc cupied the Drugstore opposite my residence, and was successful in conducting the busir ess where others had net been equally so before him. I have been fa vorably impressed w ith his character aud enterprise.” WILLIAM WEIGHTMAN, Firm of Powers & Weight-man, Man ufact uri n g Cli emists, Ninth aud Brown streets, Philadelphia.. Helm bold’s Fluid Extract of Bu^hu Is the great specific for Universal Lassitude, Prostra tion, &c. The constitution, once affected with Organic Weak ness, requires the aid of Medicine to strengthen the sys’em, which HEMBOLD’S EXTRACT BUGHU in variably do«s. If no treatment is submitted to, Cou mp tion or insanity ensues. Ilelmbold’s Fluid Extract of Bucliu, In affections peculiar to Females, is uneqnaled by any other preparation,.as in Chlorosis, or Retention. Painfulness, or Suppression of Customs ry Evacuations, Ulcerated or Schirrns State of the Uterus, and all complaints incident to the sex, or the decline or change of life. HelinboM’s Fluid Extract Bucliu ard Improved Rose fi r ash. Will radically exterminate from the system diseases arising from the habits of dissipation, at little expense little or no change in diet, no inc mvenlenoe of expos ure ; completely superceding those unpleasant and dangerous remedies, Copaiva and Mercury, in all these diseases. Use Helmbold’s Fluid Extract Bucliu in all diseases of these organs, whether existing in male or female, front whatever cause originating, and to no matter < f how long standing It is pleasant in taste and odor, in action, and more strengthening than ary preparations of Bark or Iron. Those suffering from'broken down or delicate con stitutions, procure the remedy at once. The reader mast, be aware that, however slight may be the attack of the above diseases, it is certa n to af fect the bodily health and mental powers. All the above disese« require the aid of a Diuretic II EM BOLD’S EXTRACT BUCUU is the great Diuret ic* Sold by Druggists everywhere. PRICE— .SI.2S per bottle, or 6 bottles for $6.50. — Delivered to any address. Describe symp toms in all communications. Address H. T. HELMBOLD, DRUG AND CHEMICAL WAREHOUSE, 594 BKOADWAY, New York. Hone Are Genuine Unless done up in steel-engraved wrapper with sac-simile of my Chemical YVarchoues and signed 11. r JT. I IIAI3XISOI.i:>. Gear Shop, BY W, C, EDWARDS, Harness, ISrniies, Saddles Dr. ,F. 31. Johnson, DENTIST. Cartersville, Ga. SIR MI-WEEKLY. DR. JOHN B'JLL'S «reat Remedies SMITH'S TONIS STROP! FOR THE CURE OF AGUE AND FEVER OR CHILLS AND FEVER. The proprietor of this celebrated medicine justly claims for it a superiority over at! remedies ever offer ed to tlie puolic safe, certain., speedy and per manent cure of Ague and Fever .or Chills, and Fever whether of short or longstanding. He refers to the entire Western and Southwestern country to bear him testimony to the truth of the assertion, that in no case whatever will it fall to enre, if the directions are strict ly followed and ca ried out-. In a great many cases a single dose has been sufficient for a cure, and whole families have beer, cured by a single bottle, with a per fect restoration of the general health. It is, however, prudent, and in every case more certain to cure, if its use is continued in smaller dose# for a week or two af ter the disease has been checked, more especially in difficult and long standing cases. Usually, this medi cine will not require any aid to keep the bowels in good order; should the patient, however, require a cathartic medicine, after having taken three or four doses of the Topic, a single dose of BULL’S VEGETA BLE FAM’LY PIijLS will be sufficient. DR, JOSLV HULL’S Principal Office No. 40 Fifth, Cross street, Louisville, I£v. Bull’s Worm Destroyer. Po my United States and World wide Read ers: T HAVE received many testimonials from profos- L sional and medical men, as my almanacs and vari ous publication* have shown, all of which are genuine, the following from a highly educated and popuiar phpsician in Georgia, is certainly one of the most sen sible communications I have ever received. Dr. Clem ent knows exactly what- he speaks of, and his testimo ny deserves to lie written in leiteis of gold. Hear whattho Doetor says of Bull's Worm Destroyer Villanow, Walker co., Ga. ) June 29th, 1866 $ DR. JOHN BULL—Dear Sir; —I have recently giv en your “Worm Destroyer” Several trials, and find it wonderfully efficacious. It has not failed in a single instance, to have the wished-tor effect. lam doing a pretty large country practice, and have daily use for some article oi tlie kind. lam free to confess that I know of no remedy recommended by tlieabtest authors that is so certain and speedy jn its effects. On the con trary they are uncertain in the extreme. My object in writing you is to find out upon What terms I can get the medicine directly from you. If I can get it upon easy terms, I shall use a great deal of it. I art aware that the use of such articles is contrary to the teachings and practice of a great majority of the reg ular line of M. D.’s, but I see no just cause or good sense in discarding a remedy which we know to be ef ficient, simply because we may be ignorant of its com bination. For my part, I shall make it a rule to use all aud any means to alleviate suffering hummity which I may be able to command—not hesitating because someone more ingenious than myself may have iearn d its effects first, aud secured the sole right tc secure hat knowledge. However, lamby no mtans an ad vocate or supporter of the thousands of worthless nos trums that flood the country, that purport to cure all manner of disease to which human flesh is hefr. Please reply soon, and inform me of your bestterms. I am,sir, most respectfully, JULIUS P. CLEMENT, M. D. Bull’s Sarsaparilla. A GODD REASON F°R THE CAPTAIN'S FAITH, READ THE CAPTAIN’S LETTER AND THE LET TF.R FROM IIIS MOTHER. Benton Barracks, Mo., April 30, 1866. Dr. John Bull—Dear Sir: Knowing the efficiency of your Sarsaparilla, and the healing and beneficial qualities it possesses, I send you the following state ment of my case: I was wounded about, two years ago—was taken prisoner and confined for sixteen months. Being moved so often, my wounds have not healed yet. I have not sat up a moment since 1 was wounded! I am shot through the hips. My general health is im paired, and I need something to assist nature I have more faith in your Sarsaparilla than in any thing else. I wish that that is genuine. Please express me half a doaen bottles, and oblige Capt. (VP. JOHNSON. St. Louis, Mo. P. S.—The following was written April 39,1565, by Mrs. Jennie Johnson, mother of Capt Johnson. DR. BULL—Dear Sir : My husband,,Dr. C. S. John son, was a skillful surgeon and physician in Central New York, where he died, leaving the above V, P. Johnson to my care. At thirteen years of age he had a chronic diarrhoea and scrofula,' for which I gave him your Sarsaparilla. IT CURED HIM. I have for ten years recommended it to many in New York, Ohio, and lowa, for scrofula, fever sires, and general debili ty. _ Perfect success has attended it.. The cures effect ed in some cases of scrofula and fever sores were almost miraculous. lam very anxious for my son to again have recourse to your Sarsaparilla. He is fear ful of getting a spurious article, hence his writing to you for it.. His wounds were terrible, hut I believe he will recover. Respectfully, JENNIE JOHNSON. BULL’S CEDRON BITTERS. ■% AUTHENTIC DOCUMENTS. ARKANSAS HEARD FROM, Testimony of Medical Men Stony Point, White Go., Ark., May 23,’66. DR. JOHN BULL—Dear Sir: Last February I was In Louisville purchasing Dgugs, arid I got some of your SarsappariUa and Ce Iron Bitters. My sou-in-law, who was wish me in tho store, has been down with rheumatism for some time, comnien ccd on the Bitters, anc’ soon fouukt Ris general health improved. Dr. Gist, who has been in bad health, tried there, and he also improved. Dr. Ooiree, who has been in bad health for several years—j Htomach and liver affected —he improved very much by the use of your Bit-tars. Indeed the Cedron Bitters has given you great Popularity in tliis settle ment. I think I could sell a great quantity of your medicines tbis fall—especially, of your Oedron Bitters and Sarsaparilla. Ship me via Memphis, care Os Riekett & Neely, Respectfully, (O B WALKED. All the above remedies for sale by . L. H. BHABFIBLB. Druggist, WAIT EH ALL STREET, ATLANTA, GA Ihb2o, 1869 Ks It/ Editor and Proprietor. Advice to Giels. —Somebody gives the following advice to girls: “Men who are worth having want women for their wives. A bundle of gewgaws, bound with a string of flats and qua vers, sprinkled with cologue and set in a carmine saucer—this is no help for a man who expects to raise a family of boys on veritable bread and meat. The piano and lace frames are good in their places, and so are ribbons, frills and tinsels; but you cannot make a dinner of the former, nor a bed blank et of the latter—and awful as such an idea may seem to you, both dinner and bed blankets are necessary to domestic happiness Life has its realities as well as fancies; but you make it all decora tions, remembering the tassels and cur tains, but foi getting the bedstead.— Suppose a man of good sense and of course good prospects, to be looking for a wife, what chance have you to be chosen? You may cap him, or you may trap him, Lut Low much better to make it an object for him to catch you Render yourself worth catching, and you will need no shrew ed mother or brother to help you tiud a ueaiket. ’ Out nt Might Fathers and mothers, look out for your boys when the shadows of even ing have gathered around you! Y» here are they then? Are they at home, at the pleasant, social fireside, or are tLey running the streets? Are they gain ing asi reet education? If so, take care; the chances of their ruin are many.— There is scarcely anything so. deetmet ive to their morals as running abroad at night. Under cover of daikness, they acquire the education of crime; they learn to be rowdyish, if not abso lutely vicious; they catch up loose talk, they lidar sinful thoughts, and they see obscene things, and they become reck less and riotous. If you would savo them from vulgarity, and from ruin, sec to it that night finds them at home, More than one young man has told the chaplain of the State prison that here w T as the beginning of his downward course, that finally brought him to the felon’s cell. Let parents solemnly pon der this matter, and do all they can to make home attractive to all the chil dren, so attractive that the boys will prefer it to roaming in the streets. — There is no place like home, in more sense than one —certainly no place like home for boys in the evening.— Mm. Bulletin. Pulpit Eccentricities. Some preachers of. the sensational school select texts that shall be remem bered for their singularity. Thus in March, 1858, Rev. (1. W. Condor preached from the words “Aha] aha!’’ On Feb. 3, 1861, from All Saints; Ma garet street, London, Dr. Wolf preach ed from the old word “Saul!” (Acts ix. 1.) Howland Hill once preached from the words “Old cast clouts and rotten rags!” (Jer. xxxvii. 2,) and on another occasion from the words, “1 can do ail things” beginning his sermon by a Hat denial,of the Apostle’s proposition. In the same style was Sterne’s exordium, when he preached from the text, “It is better to go to the house of mourning than to the house of feasting,” and ex claimed, “that I deny !” This secured the attention of his hearers; and, for a liko purpose, Cecil commenced a ser mon by saying “A man was hanged at Tyburn this morning.” Whitefieid gave out his text, then paused and shouted “Fire ! lire ! lire!” as a prelude to his discourse on eter nal punishment. Howland imitated this by crying, “Matches! matches!” but he excused himself for saying what he termed out-of-the-way texts and out of-the-way observations because he preached to out-of-the-way sinners.— It is said that he called his Wapping hearers tvhttpping sinners. “Hang the law and the prophets!” was the muti lated text of a celebrated Scotch divine who began his sermon thus: “so says practice; prolession says otherwise.” A Shrewsbury dissenting minister preached a funeral sermon for the Hev. John Angeil James, of Birmingham, from the combined texts, “A man. sent from God, whose name was John. I saw the Angel fly in the midst of Heav en; James the servant of God.” “There . is no fool like the fool-hardy,” was the text of the Hev. Dr. Williams, who had a quarrel wi h a parishioner named Hardy. “Adam, \%lk ic art thou?” was the text of the probation pennon of Mr. Low, who, with a Mr. Adam, was a can tlklib hi' k'Ctnreiliip: "to, hero I nm!” was the responsive text of his rival, Mr. Adam. Mr. Joseph,.curate of the Isle of Man, reminded the Lord-Lieutenant Butler, Duke of Ornroiid, of bis forgot ten promise to assist him with the pre ferment. by preaching before him the text, “Yet did not the chief Butler re member Joseph, but forgot him.” A Wedding Might Incident. It wasn’t hardly a fair thing that the boys did to Joe Thompson the night he was married, but the tempta tion wais irresistible. They could not have helped it to save their lives. 11l tell you how it was: Joe was about the most fancy dress ed chap in town—over nice and par ticular—a perfect Miss Nancy iu man ner, always putting on airs, ami more dainty and modest than a girl. Well, when his wedding night came he was dressed, trunk empty, and his pants especially, fitted him as if they had been moulds, and his legs candles, and run into them. Tight was no name for them. Their set was immense, and he was prouder than a half dozen peacocks. “AreiT they nice boys ?” he asked of the two who wero to bo groomsmen, and see that he threw himself away ill the most approved fashion. “Stunnin ! Gorgeous!” re; lied Tom Bennett. ‘‘Never saw anything equal to them. But I snv, Joe, ain’t they just the least bit tight ? It strikes mo that you will find some difficulty in bending, won’t you ?” 'Pshaw, no ! They are as easy as an old glove. See!’ To prove the matter he bent so ns to touch his patent leathers, when' crack! crack! followed like the twin report of a revolver. ‘Thunder !’ exclaimed Joe, as he claspt and bis hands behind and found a rent in the cassimere from stem to stem. ‘Thunder ! the pants have burst, and what shall I do ?’ ‘I should think they had,’ answered Tom, getting purple in the face ns he endeavored to control his laughter.— ‘But there is no time to get another pair. It only wants half an hour to the stand up time, and wo have a mile to go. Carriage waiting too.’ ‘ W hat shall I do ! what shall I do YO. I<>. ‘l'll tell you what, Joe, if mine would lit, you should have them and but they are a mile too big. I see no way but to have them mended.’ ‘Who can 1 get to do it, Tom ?’ ‘Well, I am something of a tailor,, and can fix them so they won’t show. Hold on a minute, and I’ll get a nee dle and thread.’ ‘Can you ? May Heaven bless you ?* ‘Off with' your coat,’ commanded Tom, as he came back. ‘Now lay. yourself over the bed, and I wid fix you in short order.’ V The command was obeyed tho pants mended—the coat carefully pin ned over, so as to conceal the ‘distress for rent,’ and all went merry as a mar riage bell, until Joe followed his blush ing bride to the nuptial couch. There was only a dim light in the room, but it enabled Joe, as he glanc ed bashfully arouud, to see the sweet est face in the world, the rosy cheeks and ripe lips, the lovely and loving blue eyes, and the golden curls just peeping out from the snowy sheets, and he extinguished it altogether, and hastened to disrobe himself. Off came coat, vest, fancy necktie and collar, boots and socks in a hurry: but some how the pants stuck. The more he tried, the more they, wouldn’t come, and ire tugged vainly for half an hour. ‘Thunder!’ muttered Joe. ‘What is the matter, dear?’ come in the softest of accents from the bed, where somebody was \vou»dering what it was that annoyed him. It was a moment of desperation. Joe was entirely overcome by the situation, and forgetting his bashful ness blurted out: ‘Molly that cursed Tom Bennett has sewed my pants, and undershirt ail together! ‘lt is too bad. Wait a moment, dear.’ A little stockingless foot first peeped out, then a ruilied mght dress, the lamp was lighted, a pair of scissors found, and Joe released, mentally vow ing that if he ever got the opportunity he would pay his friend Tom back with interest for the joke he had play ed on him. A countryman stopped at the Maxwell House, Nashville for dinner. The waiter inquired what he would have, and was told by the countryman to bring “something of what he had/’ The waiter brought him a regular din ner upon small dishes, as is the usual form, and set them around his plate. The countryman surveyed them care fully for a moment, and then broke out, “Well, I like your samples, now bring mo dinner.”