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8 ' LAUGH ON THE REPORTER. When Marquis Ito was in the United States in 1901 an inexperi enced St. Paul reporter sought an interview with him. lie met Ito’s secretary and thus made known his mission: “Me newspaper man. Me writee news. Me heardee marquis Telly ill. lie better today? You savve?” began tin* reporter, to the secreKiry’s amazement. Hut the lat ter was equal to the occasion. “Me savve,” he said gravely. “Marquis heno better. \ ylly bind. Catcheo cold. Doctor Him no lettee him leave bled today. You savve?” The interview proceeded this way, but at its termination tin 1 secretary, with a twinkle in his eye, remarked, “The marquis is "greatly fatigued by his arduous journey, but”— But the reporter fled. y Why Canada Writhes. Canada is incensed at statements made about it in certain text books used in English schools. Here is a small collection: When the winter sots in “the people make up their minds to be snowed up till spring.” The Atlantic coast is the Most use ful at present, but “most of it'is irozen up m winter.' “Maiuluuiis treeless” is another astounding item of information. The English boy is further informed that “in a blazing forest there is the risk that a fallen trunk or a branch may at any moment, block the line or throw | the train off the rails.” But here is the gem of the collection: “The chief states at present are Quebec, Maine and New Brunswick.” Man’s Inhumanity to Motors. No one in his senses gallops his horse On the highroad, nor does the captain of a twenty knot steamer, drive her continuously at full pres sure. In the motor car alone is this rule habitually disregarded. If it is geared to twenty-five miles an hour its owner is always trying to extract an extra five from it. The majority of petrol motors are run habitually far above the speed for which they were made, with the re sult that their life is considerably shortened. The first consideration to the man who wishes to motor economically is to make a fixed re solve to treat his ear mercifully.— Country Life. Cancer and Beer. An inquiry by l>r. Alfred Wolff into the mysterious cause of cancer has yielded an unexpected conclu sion w hich promises temperance ad vocates a now and powerful argu ment. Dr. WoltT discovers that all the districts of high cancer mortal ity are those in which beer or eider is largely drunk. Bavaria, for in stance, heads the list in Germany and Salzburg in Austria, both great beer drinking provinces. In France the statistics are still more striking. There is the most marked contrast between the high earner mortality in beer drinking departments and the low death rate from cancer else where. Robbed “Himself. A story w hich recalls Thomas In goldsbv's “Spectre of Tappington” comes from the German town of Tubingen. A certain jeweler of the town complained to the police that his house was burglarized nearly ev ery night and that they had better do something about it. A detective was set to watch the shop, and he caught the thief, who, as the astute reader has already guessed, was the jeweler himself. He was a somnam bulist. It seems a pity that a tal ent for burglary should be wasted on one's ow n property. Breaking Into Jail. A German cripple has succeeded in beating the kaiser’s government in a clever wav. He recently wan dered into a police station, borrow- 1 ed a pencil and pveee of paper and wrote something against the kaiser, handed it to the desk man and was arrested for leze majesty at once. This was what he wanted. He had been in jail for nine terms for sim ilar offenses and said he found jail more comfortable than the poor house. Time and Telegraphy. Investigations by the Prussian academy to determine the difference of longitude between Greenwich and Potsdam showed that signals could be sent over the ordinary route of about 744 miles with relays in one eight-hundredth of % second. Over a lengthened line, including 6SO miles of overland w res and “64 of cable, without relays, signals were senb in one fourteen-hundredth of a second. A Howells Retort. W. D. Howells, the novelist, sel dom fails whefn any one ha^jmimad ▼erted on his corpulence *o come out with a neat retort. When Mr. Howells was consul at Venice a very lean and long American said to him one day jocosely, “If I wefe as fai as you I’d go and hang mvself.” “Weil,” said Mr. Howells, “if I ever take ▼our advice I'll use vou foe • jrop*.* A LITTLE NONSENSE. • % Sd Happenings as Viewed From an Ocean Styamer. The great steamer plowed monot onously on through the, quiet sea. No sail, not even t be smoke of a dis tant liner, rested the eye from the expanse of heaven and water. The j day was almost done, and the soft, silvery light that fel f' across the ! waves glistened now and then upon the scales of some playful fish as it ; leaped from its native element. The gods were at peace with the world, I and danger slept. ’ v And yet the face of the captain ! as lie leaned over the rail and gazed with his glass io#the west wore a troubled look. Observant passen gers gathered about him, wondering •sit hi strange silence— 1!q seemed unconscious of their presence, and 1 questions brought no answers to the inquisitive. Women, began to look in to-tlie eyes of their husbands, and the children felt a, strange fear creep inlo their hearts as they grasped the skirts of their mothers. Something was wrong, hut what? A sigh escaped from the breast of the bravest seaman. “■JVor devil! We can do him no good." Ami them its?h(f noted for the fifst time (he anxious upturned faces, he smiled sadly. “It is not we, but, more's the pity, that while we sail so •safely another, beyond our aid, goes down. Look!” And he passed the glass to the nearest passenger. “You can make it out— clojje on the western horizon—the sun—it’s sinking!” he moaned, and a manlv tear trickled slowly down his cheek, rolled overboard into the ocean with a silent splash. And the ocean salted it down.—J udge. An Advantage. — “Do you object to your husband betting on an election?” “Yes, but it's better than betting on a horse race. There is at least the satisfaction of knowing that your candidate isn't going to run sixth or seventh.” Logic, if Not Grammar. The teacher was trying to impress upon her class the right uses of “is” and “ere.” “Johnnie,” said she, “if we say ‘One boy is good,' what should we say of two boys ?” " ‘Two boy> is bad,’ ” responded Johnnie.—Chicago Record-Herald. A Place of Safety. “Don’t you feel a little nervous in vour new automobile?” “No," answer'd the man whose clothes snu 11 of gasoline. “When 1 am in that machine a sense of perfect security comes over me. I know 1 can't be run over.”—Wash ington Star. . . His Opportunity. “Come on,Billy,” said Burroughs, who was buying drinks very freely,. “you’re just in time. What'll you have ?” "Til have that $e you owe me, if j you don't mind," replied Lenders.— ! Philadelphia Press. The Puzzle Department. "He's employed by the railway t company now, 1 understand.” “Yes; he has charge of the puzzle ! department.” “The what ?” “He makes out the time tables.” —Chicago Journal. An Unbreakable Bond. Calvert Junior—My, but you seem to think a lot of that fellow*. Did he ever save your life ? Baity Moore—Better than that; j he lent me a collar button onee when j mine came out at a party. —-Bain- i more American.*' ‘ Refreshments First. Binks—Did yon t.nd the southern people hospitable ? Jiuks—Well, rat Iter. Thev didn't j even ask m* m\ ptme ye ttjj I had' forgotten' ▼ v£is.-^c. .giant j ( CcmmeWa! TYT^r*?. C a-..; ■ - “Why should*'; trev tin soci ety?” ' * “Well. I dob't k They”— “Certainlv their money is as good as anybody’s, and theix manners as bad.”—Puck. THE NBWS. CABTHRSVILLK GEORGIA, OCTOBER 27, UK*. Furniture Peliah. Put into a bottle half a pint each of turpentine and linseed oil and one gill each of methylated spirits and vinegar, shaking these well to gether till thoroughly mixed. Al ways remember to shake the bottle ■ well before using. * French Cake. One cup of sugar, two eggs, one | fourth cup of butter, one-half cup \ of milk, one and a half cups of flour, j one teii'poonful of cream of tartar, one-half teaspoonful of soda. Danger In Fall Folds. 'Fall colds are liable to hang on all winter leaving the seeds of pneu monia, bronchitis or consumption, Foley's Money and Tar cures quickly prevents serious results. It mold and i reliable, tried and test ed, safe and I sure. Contains no .'opiates and will not const iuate. Greene Drug Cos. —rw~ ■ -—' C- uta-lfas "A* (iiit. X -Zi- t B Canj the Have £w*js Bougrt hood lor Children. The pleasant to take and harmless One Minute Cough Cure gives instant relief in all cases of Cougb. Croup and I,uGrippe because it divesnm pass immediately into the stomach, but ! takes effect right at the seat of the trouble. M ilraws out the inllajuinia tion. heals and soothes and cures per manently by enabling the lungs To contribute pure life-giving and life sustaining oxygen to the blood and tissues. Sold by Greene Drug Cos. 1 Bearr live Ito kind v oti Have Alvzays Bougß l’ill Pleasure. If you ever took DeWitt’s Little Early Risers for billiousness or con stipation von know what pill pleasure is. These famous little pills cleanse the liver and rid the system of all bile without producing unpleasant effects. They do not gripe, sicken or weaken, but pleasantly give tone and strength to the tissues and organs of the stomach, liver and bowels. Sold by Greene Drug Cos. A Sustaining Diet. These are the enervating davs when, as somebody has said, men drop by the sunstroke as if the Day of fire had dawned. They are fraught with danger to people whose systems are poor y sustained; and this leads us to say, in the fnterest of the less robust of our readers, that the full effect of Hood’s Sarsaparilla is such as to suggest the propriety of calling this medicine something besides a blood purifier and tonic—say, a sus taining diet. Itmakis it much eas ier to hear the heat, assures refresh ing sleep and will without any doubt avert much sickness at this time of year. ter's | I Do you like your thin, rough, j? short hair? Of course you / don’t. Do you like thick, | heavy, smooth hair? Off | course you do. Then why f fc HI 5% vv U/f gi ryi . A ICS. ■ 1 ? igOi ► not be pleased? Ayer's Hair | Vigor makes beautiful heads & of hair, that’s the whole / storv. Sold for 60 years. ,’, . b “ I have n o * A ■ <*r s fiair vnjor for a long §* time. It ts. it dt*ed. a wonderful l air touir. g mtorini 1 tea Ith to the kiir and scalp, and, at J* <> t ! lbs. J. W. Tatl JI, Madiil. led. T. 8 Jt.Wt a botUr ,T. c. (YIEC9. h •■waKxauciui iOl BSBBMBfBBH s - Haisi KIDNEY DISEASES are the most fatal of all dis eases. Cfll CY’C kidney cure it i I ULI l 0 Suaraatatd Rssedy or money refunded. Contains remedies recognized by emi nent physicians as the best for Kidney and Bladder troubles. PRICE 50c. UM t $1.06. ILLINOIS CENTRAL RAILROAD Direct Route to the Si. Louis Exposilion TWO TRAINS DAILY, la i-n •• i h V-. \*.K.R. A \ t. t SUL. R. fW>a Atlanta - Li t§£l< I . ;17 a.aa. At St. 7:e> a b *• *• • a. b. Jr St. Loa| p b WiTK KROLCH SLEEPING CARS K#, T OF THE FAMOUS ‘T FLYER” ■ : C f’.eypb tr rrr fro* ' . t - .a* J acksoo- YUi. d.-i . - tier ’s vSS a m . giviu* j-oaa- .. Hi. 1 < tun to *• locuted l'r t.. ' " nrW'i Fair Gcitb FooL ss- - rS • i 4 Osar renervanoa*. •. l)6t*-? and Boarim. F t ED D. MILLER, Traveling Passenger Agent No. I N. Prvor St. AtlarAa, Ca. ft.- r.----. a : ; T ft , ! AYegdablePrcparationforAs similating the Food andßegula i ling the Stomachs and Bowels of _ Tj'sHvL ■■ iiS* :j ii;y. 2 | Promotes Digestion.CheerfuT* ness and Rest. Con tains neither Opium,Morphine nor Mineral. Not Narc otic . * /tmpraTOM Or SAMUEL PITCHKJt ’Hanpkm Seed ~ . Mx.Senna * J K/*k*tlr Salts - I rtru.ee Sent t | l X - Clmthtd Sugar h&tkryrven Flavor. J A perfect Remedy for Cons Spa hon, Sour Stomach, Diarrhoea Worms .Convulsions .Feverish ness and Loss of Sleep. Facsimile Signature of KEW YORK. t EXACT COPY OF WRAPPER. j| y\ £%l The New ® Body Builder As delicious as a Fresh Orange Supersedes eld-fashioned Cod Liver Oil and Emulsions Guaranteed to contain all the medicinal elements, actually taken from genuine fresh cods’ livers, with organic iron and other body-building ingredients, hut no oil or grease, making the greatest strength and flesh creator known to medicine. For old people, puny children, weak, pale women, nursing mothers, chronic cold, hacking coughs, throat and lung troubles, incipient consumption—nothing equals Vino!. Try it—if you don’t like it we will return monfey. THE PLACE TO BUY YOUR FURN ITURD IS AT GEO. M. JACKSON'S. Having studied liu- wants of the j k 1<- > I th ! a locality in his line, he is reaey to meet th< se w nils with a complete stock ot CHEAP IKEDHJM AfVID FSk'E FURN ITURE ru.L ir.irg aid Fsteral Directing a SfEciaiij. CJOODS SOM> o_\ THE IXsTALLMEXT HIS Store Phone IC4. Residence Phone 85. JOHN R. TOXJNG & CO Real Estate and Immigration Agents. Cartersville, - - Georgia. Office with W. H. Howard, over Young Bros., Drug Store. Being largely acquainted in most of the Northwestern States, where the tide of Immigration starts Southward, ami h tving several years ot experience in the Real Estate an* Immigration business, it will be our purpose to bring home-seekers to Bartow and adjoining counties, if we can get property enough listed at fair valuation to induce them to come and see it. Dout forget 10 cal) and list your property with us if it is for sale. ( Farmer Attention ! Nothing better in the way of a liniment for horses and other stock as well as for r'_ " '"s loan's ■PM j LINIMENT fce . ▼ KILLS PAIN Very Penetrating - Best Antiseptic known F* r Infects and Cfail&rer fhe H nd You Haw Always Bought Bears the i Signature /Aw .- w rv J[V In rffjjT Use For Over Thirty Years GASTORIA THI CIN’-.UH COMPANY. NEW YORK CITY. INTERESTING ~ INSTRUCTIVE "(Porrect^jnp/isJf tJHCow to use it" A Monthly Magazine Devoted to the Proper Use of English JOSEPHINE tURCK BAKEJ. Editor SI.OO a Year. SO cts. a Copy PARTIAL CONTENTS FOR THIS MONTH. Suggestions for the Speaker. What to say and what not to say. Suggestions for the Writer. Errors and Models in English from noted Authors. The Art of Conversation. How to increase one’s vocabulary. Compound Words. How to write them. Shall and Will. How to u- e them. Punctuation; Pronunciation. Correct English m the Home. Write for Free Sample Copy to CORRECT ENGLISH - Evanston, lIL Liberal Terms to Agents. 3A B Y E- A S IL r -' T v. arncu n WMneMMr3MMTi{ -mu mem Is the best and safest remedy for all stomach and Bowel froubles of babies ar,l chil.Ven. It qniekhn cures constipation, diarrhoea, con vulsions, worms, sour stomach arid loss of sleep. It is perfectly harm less, but very effective. Children like to take it. At all drug-stores— a large bottle for : : : ; ; 25. CENTS Ask your druggist about the FREE GOLD RING ofer Georgians! satisfaction, new pair Jtf your W money /in back °n |/a\| “President Suspenders Comfort and Service. Mo rust or leather to soil the shirt. 50 cents and $1 at J. BURNSTUIM’S and other stores. Made and Guaranteed by The C. A. EDGARTON Mfg. Cos. SHIRLEY, MASS. . u i r a tor V tree 100 k, f * Lo-v . • c •• -i v*A v.ritc r J * . to f , 'j |.w ytrn > ‘V; , * : h : '; 1 ;-4' ■ V s*j ; • h Le,- ' - iT ‘t { * “V 1 * 1A VCO SHi f U> i 4 and SMOKE = - . ■ Voar Lifeawav! Yon can be cured of any form of tobacco n< inp easily, be made well, strong, magnetic full o. new life and vigor by taking tiO-TO-BAfi that makes weak men strong. Mam p n ten pounds m ten days. Over SOU OC O cured. All druggists. Cure guaranteed/ Bcoz _kL ® d i’ lce L r KE. Address STERLING m-j4Eiiv lu "*r Kay vote i?" Seed Annual |k °* D FERRV A C °‘ jj ' ENGLISH S&B e.d metallic boxes, with bl-e ridboa. Take no other. Kefu.e atantceron* •nboli- Initiation.. Buy of yoor Drupgtst, ‘l gr fartleular., Tett n>oni-l and- Roller for l aAle. - m letter, 2SJJISS** 11 - Testimonials. Sold by CHICHBBTSR CHEMICAL CO. SIO® XadlMß Sqaarr. PA _ Hwt.. tan A free hottle of Dr. Thacher’s Liver and Slood Syrup will be sect to any reader of paper who will write to tie* TUacber Ncdicia* Cos., Chattanooga, Tens.