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Littlb Savior.
BY LOPISA A’HMUTY XA*H.
, -you lake my advice now. mv boy.
r> r op everything just where you are,
' jn(l jr C , off to the country. It will be
saving of you.”
.. Are you mad. Gooff? What, drop a
living certain sure, and go off to—
nothing!” was mv answer to the doc
f)r a n old schoolmate of mine.
•The living will drop vou soon
enough in more sense than one. The
weather bureau does not want ghosts
gs weather clerks!” he replied.
-rd rather be ghost here than
st arve there. I won’t, -d that ends
it ' M
f -You asked me to be honest with
vou and I have been. And this is all
jj get for my pains.” he closed with.
as I left his office.
I knew I was all run down, but
expected the summer vacation would
Le t me up as It had done before; and
honestly I was thinking of my wife
INfld her views as well as of myself.
When I got home that evening she
I met me at the door, as was her wont.
I nicely got up for dinner.
L isn’t it perfectly delicious. Arch.
Z or Mabel?” (One of her sisters in
■ New York.) “They're going to settle
■in the country.”
j -it might he for Mabel; but I don’t
L 0 enough of her to pronounce—”
| You do now', story boy!” she an
swered. "You know she’s just like
| me . Twins always are alike.”
I opened my eyes, dumfounded, for
evidently I had mis-oad mv young
lady, or perhaps her capacity for —
' l won’t say what.
She went on. just taking breath
'long enough for all she had to say.
“I’ve written and told her how I
envy her her luck. Fancy being able
Ito sit upder cool trees when you're
baking hot, and have a big fire when
[you’re cold, and the children running
’'about without dressing up. and—”
Here I stopped her.
"You mean to say they are to go
i with ’nodings on?’ ”
“Nonsense. Arch! You know what
I mean —dressed for the street, of
course!”
"Avery lucid explanation!” I edged
in.
“And they can have their own milk
I and cream and butter and garden stuff
| —so good for the children!”
“It looks as though, Coonie.” (I
icall her Coonie but her name is Lu-
Ji ia.) “you want to follow suit.”
| “Why of course I do! What, do you
I suppose I’m telling you all this for?"
I “We’ll see about it. You have to
!ihave your own way always, haven’t
I vou?”
I This metamorphosis of my wife's
views fairly took away all my fatigue
Alter my day’s work on the root of a
"sky-scraper.” She did not return to
ftiiem till after tho children were all
tucked up for the night. She then
dragged one of their little rockers
across the room, and sat down by me,
as I lay on the couch, saying as she
[did so, —
“The worst of you. Arch, is that you
■never mean what you. say.”
f “What lie have I been guilty of
■ now?” 1 asked innocently..
| “About my having my own way, oi
I course. Mabel has hers, and its just
I lovely to think of it Just Imaglnt
[ how free and easy not. to bo r.t the
I beck and tall of people "’ben you
I Want to be at home and not to have
to say you’re out when you are
there!”
“We'll see about it, little woman.”
“That’s what, you said before din
| ner. Of course that means ves!” And
I she clapped her hands, just as Dickie
I does when he’s got. o new toy. “You
I really mean it this time!” And she
I got up and kissed me solemnly on the
I forehead, for ratification.
| ’What’s Mabel going to live on in
I the country, or you we’ll say for ar-
I Knuent’s sake?”
I , ”0h of course the husbands do the
work, with a man to help them, and
*e’ve lots to sell.”
ror example?” I asked.
Pigs and sheep; stoek and steers;
®od they hunt all we want to eat.”
and steers; a different breed,
-hr
That’s one reason why i want to
*o on a r anf h Archie, to learn some
! ing ’ B he said in an unusually hum
ole voice.
oi>. 1 see. You* - education has
i n neglected in the city!”
1 could not help looking narrowly at
to try to get at the “trulv truth”
)° f,Uo,f flick. She had always given
? the impression that she wan de
to und city life. She
A n l ‘ n, 't m i'° her concerts. c her
! ' ~ lar,,ea. or her “at homes” and
‘lances for anything. She
1 herse| f on being “chic,” (that’s
f .. s ‘ lP 051,18 it. I think) and she ap
' V love n<? w clothes dearly.
w * * may have been mistakes,
on are hard to read anyhow.
onR :in(l short, of it waa. that I
h,,- nmv to the weather
, 3J ' a,l hough I had alwavs con
“Yself on being an official
® ayp in office not to ba turned
p change of political wind, and
I f eon descend to anv trick to get
4 again.
Jrr"' w< “ sold U P- and started
! c jj e ’ )u y' n g half cleared land at. a
ieft T ra<P ’ eo aB to have something
w P re liminary expenses. We
t rn ,,., llw ' fhe young bears, with our
hppL . allea( l- but I got strong and
hrunt' aati WPJI abl<> t 0 bpar the,r
took up her new studies
2 n rresh zest. and was tickled at all
' Je learned.
pl^ n ° of them was what she was
_ ed to call "aforetime doctoring.”
B°od to laugh, Arch,” she
dor S .?’ y ’ ** 1 grumbled at her exac
‘! • WTio sto nurse you and the
children if you're sick abed? I don't
propose to be sick nurse, so don’t ar
range matters that ) should he lte
sides you know there’s no doctor in
these parts to be had under ?50. so
you must practice doing without them
by not needing them.”
“While you practice on the kids”
I put in.
Of course I know what you’re driv
ing at. Amaten-s can’t know every
thing.”
But you knew you had put the
flaxseed ooultice on the kid. and that
wasn't the place for the thermo
meter!”
How could I follow the shifting of
a slippery eel?”
Never mind, little woman, you are
not the only one scared by thermo
meter reading, when the patient was
well enough to frisk into his clothes.”
“Whatever you say. you know Tom
mie had a close scratch of pnoumonia,
and you might to he thankful, sir. to
the poultice he didn’t cult. I wish
I could it bv n, doctor.”
“And the proof ”’ould he well worth
the SSO ” ! answered in banter.
“Who nearly pu* blistering liquid
into my eye?” giving her weather-eye
(as she called it) p sly twinkle.
“And who shook the kid, instead of
the bottle?” T shot back.
“Nobody, since Methusaleh’s wife!”
"But seriously. Archie, isn't it jusi
perfect being your own butcher and
baker and ohurner and cheese-mon
ger, rnd charwoman and school
ma'rm? Other things one doesn’t need.
Don’t say you need a doctor, Archie
dear, or my nose will he jointed flat
and that would break my heart!”
As T made no response, she went
on:
“It’s heavenly to be independent of
all the mongers in creation. It gives
you a kind of Alexander Selkirk sen
sation—kind of ‘monarch of all we
survey’ feeling, that does one good.
Just say for once you agree with me,
Arch, or I shall be let down to agree
ing with myself, as usual.”
To tell the truth which I never con
fided to Lucia. I had been hiring a
man not to work so much, but to
teach me to do things—me, who
scarcely knew a spade from a hoe.
And Coonie always said “We had to
have plenty of garden stuff to fight
off the doctor.”
Neither could I make a fence, or
milk a cow. or keep the hogs out of
the garden, let alone turning them
into bacon.
Why things came so natural to
Coonie v never could make out. She
got through all her housework, and
taught and clothed the kids, getting
herself up spick and span everv even
ing to sit with me in the little par
lor. Summer had come round again
at the ranch and I had a notion there
was something brewing in her little
head, when she said suddenly.
“Arch. dear, now that you know
stock and steers are the same, I
think you mav be trusted to leave
them awhile."
"Coonie!" I exclaimed, adding noth
ing.
“Well, you know a vear ago you
didn’t.” she went on with a brazen
front. And T knew bette- than to con
tradict her in her humor. “Anyhow,
don't you think it’s time we went out
to see the world?”
Expecting next moment a proposal
to return to city life. I waited to see
which world she had reference to;
for she had repeatedly assured me
that jsh despised the "worldliness of
great cities.” a o it must be some lit
tle world straight from the hand of
its Maker. "You see. Arch,” she con
tinued, “we’ve not come across the
plains—”
"It seems to me that we have done
so,” I dared interpose
“The old-faehioned way. of courge.
The trains were there, and we had to
take them. But I want to go in a
prairie schooner!”
Heavens and earth! Does she want
to go back east that way?
Seeing mv consternation she gave
my hand p. little pat, saying:
“Arch, you stupid frump, we muat
take th“ child-en out camping some
where; they’ll winter so much better.”
“Good heavens! they're not bees.
Coonie! 1 suppose vou are afraid of
having to apply poultices and thermo
meter again—the mixture that does
not agree with your nerves. Eli?” I
bantered.
"Change of air is good, that's why
the cows go wandering off so far be
fore the?’ calve.” she said, “and a
paairie schooner will be the very nic
est of all.”
"Only without fhe prairie, seeing
we’re mostlv mountains over here!”
1 interpolated.
To please her, the men and I fixed
up a rig. and we all embarked for the
nearest bit coast, we expect
ed to see more people than we had
the year through, although Lucia pro
fessed *o hate people.
After living all her life near the
great lakes, she hankered after a
sight of water.
We were preparing to camp over
night. before reaching the olace in
the morning and I was wielding the
axe fo* fire-making when I stupidly
struck my left hand between thumb
and forefinger. From a great gash
the blood spurted, running down bril
liantly ns I made mv way to where
my wife was busy with the children.
“Now. ’aforetime doctor.' now's
our chance. * I said coolly. Ive
struck bone.”
“How could you be such a goose.
Arch?” and she tried in rain to
staunch the blood. As it continued
to flow from the rather ugly looking
opening, she said, “Walt till I hold It
THE WEEKLY NEWS, CARTERSVILLE, GA.
together!" and she very ingeniously
; closed the lips of the wound, holding
them “rm with thumb and finger.
“Wait? What are we to wait for?
; Till the fire’s made itself and boiled
j the kettle?"
"Wait. I say. and don’t argie-bor
gie!” This always meant that the
Scotch in her was uppermost, and
I she wasn’t to be gainsaid.
“Don’t argie-borgte!” and to the
] eldest boy, “Jimmie, yon run round to
i the camp ahead of us, and ask one
i of the young men to be so kind as to
go with you and fetch the doctor frern
the town.”
“Coon!” I dared to expostulate.
“If you bleed to death, sir. how are
| we to have our tea? You know the
j plaster won’t stick, and I didn't bring
Imy surgery needle and silk, never
i dreaming you’d do this.”
I knew telephathically that “lock
j jaw" was the word running up and
i down the convolutions of her brain —
| the thing she had never seen happily;
j so I let her be.
| “If Providence makes you do this.
| just within reach of a doctor. I’m not
. going to fly in its face and let. you
bleed to death.”
“It’s you who are doing the ‘argie
| borgieing' now. !’m silent as a
| stock.”
“Well, you were doing it inside you;
that’s all the same!” she had the ef
frontery to come out with. I was feel
ing a little weak from loss of blood,
and waiting for my supper, and al
lowed her to go on holding the cut.;
she rallying me. and setting the chil
dren to rights at intervals. She made
me sit on a box. while s’he stood and
stood and never flinched, although
the stooping position end strain on
her muscles must have been very
wearing.
The time seemed endless. The sun
was sinking red behind high cliff
land as only a Pacific sun can set in
to tho far western horizon. “Almost
the Orient again.” as Coonie ob
served, when she dared turn her head
and shoulders round, but never her
bodv, to take a look.
“That doctor must have gone with
the sun,” i observed. “Just relax
your grip for one moment and see
how it has worked,” I begged.
“Not for nothing and nobody but
the doctor himself! What, undo my
work that. I have been doing?”
I pulled her down on my knee to
rest her.
“You dare, sir!” she said peremptor
ily. thinking it a ruse to let go.
The kids began to whine and cry,
first for supper, then for bed, then
winding down the grade that hid the
ocean from our view, we at length
spied the longed for cavalcade.
“Why, Geoff. Goeff is it really yon,
old man, wandered to the jumping off
place of the world?”
After a brief explanation that he
had been run down too, and had tak
en his own prescription, and was now
on the eve of hunting us up, he pro
ceeded to examine my hand.
Lucia let go her hold with trem
bling. and ne’er a drop of blood to
tell the tale! A perfect cure! Or
else as Ooe'* suggested, we were both
more scared than scarified.
It. had been an ordeal for her, and
I led her on to the mattress in the
tent, chopped the wood, made the
fire, got supper and put the kids to
bed: so dearly had I to pay for my
yielding disposition.
1 had had my doubts as to the
Mabel story for some months, and the
test time I queried I heard that she
was back : n New York.
“As vou are her twin, I suppose you
want to go hack to the place from
which you came.” I remarked.
“Ungrateful wretch,” she respond
ed, “not till We’re old and grav head
ed, and the boys must go to the col
lege !’m getting them ready for!”
And now, with Goeff an as enlight
ener it. came out that it was all a
put tip job on me between them, and
that Mabe! had never left her home.
I had to thank them both for the
life-saving station our- ranch has
proved to be, and my wife as the
greatest little savior on it. —Waverly
Magazine.
Th I'Uia,
There is a wealthy but very hard
headed citizen of Detroit who has na
hesitancy in tolling this story on him
aelf.
“If there’s anything on earth grinds
me it is to plunge into the social swim.
I'd fa- rathor plunge into an ice-cold
bath. One of these here steel-pen coats
makes me "‘an’ to go out and hide in
the havloft. and a standing collar puts
me into a grouch for a week after I’ve
worn it.
"But you know how women are.
They’ll stand right by you when livin’
is up-hill work, skimp, hustle and
save, but once they got money they
want a sho’" for it. and the bigger the
shew the better. Things sorter come
my way in nine and l cleaned up a
neat little pile. I ! uat grinned at car
riages. horses, a coachman, a lot of
servants a snookin’ ’round the house,
receptions, theatre parties and all that
sort of thing.
“But when they rung in a genuine
butler on me I had a warm conversa
tion with mamma and the girls. It
didn't do a mite of good. They talked
me clean off my feet and the butler
came. 1 could have got away passably
with the president of the United
States, bu’ that fellow, stiff-backed,
high-headed, lookin’ superior like and
never smilin’ ’less R was to stab you,
riled me awful. One day while sit
ting in the library, I heard him tell
one of the maids he vas goin’ to re
sign. ‘What for?’ she asked. 'The
last lady as called took me for the
barbarian' —that's me.
"For years I dealt with raftsmen
and lumbermen. I paid his bill for six
weeks in the hospital, and his wages,
too. We keen no butler.” —Detroit
Free Pree3.
PHENOMENA IN NATURE.
•OWIE EFFECTS IN MECHANICS DUE
TO CAUSES AS YET UNKNOWN.
SfwUlH'c Iji „r Motion May H t
Wliilt? Mnrli TliHt I'nttta tor Ktvinul
Truth 1% I ntlrr Sliitpit’ion I uu-e f
t>ruvil.r fllryonti it iiinun touffptimi.
Recently we have discussed in these
columns recondite problems of physi
cal science. To say that these things
are beyond the purview of engineers is
to limit the scope of the profession.
The business of the engineer is to util
ize what has been termed, popularly
if not accurately, the forces of nature,
for the benefit of mankind. To thr
physicist the world is indebted for the
discovery of new phenomena and novel
relations existing between old and uew
natural actions and interactions. It
is impossible, however, to draw a nar
row line and say that the province of
the engineer lies on one side and the
territory of the man of pure science
on the other. Thus the discovery of
the phenomena of electrical induction
was mainly the work of Faraday; but
tho construction of dynamos, which
utilize that discovery, is the daily work
of the engineer. Reasoning In this
way, it easily becomes obvious that,
the engineer is really deeply interested
in the whole course of modern scientific
research; and speculations as to the
constitution of matter and the nature
of energy are by no means to be re
garded as of necessity abstractions,
possessing no real value sufficient to
make them worth studying. No one
can tell from day to day whether or
not some extremely valuable discovery
will be made. There is reason, indeed,
to believe that co-relations of phenon
ena may at any moment be hit on
which will reduce the telegraph to the
level of a conspicuously clumsy piece
of apparatus, or bring down the cost
of electric lighting to a tenth of its
existing price. When Hertzian waves
were first spoken oi no one dreamed
that they would enaole us to transmit
messages through long distances with
out visible means of communication.
The telephone was built up out of
most unlikely materials; and the man
who asserted that lie could make an
iron plate talk to an audience by the
aid of three French nails, a small bat
tery, and a few cylinders, would have
been regarded as a lunatic not so very
long ago.
Of late those who have watched the
signs of the times will have noticed
that, a change is coming over the mode
of thought of the more advanced seek
ers after physical truth. Possibly not
many of our readers have carefully fol
lowed Dr. Larmor’s address to Section
A of the British association, which we
have placed on record in our columns,
j Possibly fewer of those who have read
it have understood it. Dr. Larmor has
evidently failed to make the English
language express clearly what he
wanted to say, nor are we surprised.
It is a hackneyed saying that "words
fail us to express our feelings.” But
Dr. Larmor has, in all events, suc
ceeded in telling us that much that
was formerly accepted as the very
groundwork of physical science must
be abondoned as untenable. He hints,
indeed, that Newton's laws of motion
are no longer satisfactory expositions
of well known truths. He seems dis
posed to abandon the idea that force is
the cause of motion; a statement
which we have often pointed out is
wholly inconsistent with Newton’s
third law. lons take the place of
atoms, from which they seem to differ
only in being infinitely more numerous.
Kelvin’s theory of vortices, with a dif
ference. is favored, and vve have again
a theory of force centres, which so
closely resembles that advanced years
ago by the late Walter Browne, to say
nothing of Bishop Berkeley, that to the
superficial observer at all events the
distinction is without a difference. But
the most notable feature of the whole
discourse is Dr. Larmor’s tendency
to adandon the pursuits of knowledge
in certain directions. It will be bet
ter, he said in effect, to content our
selves with a statement of the chain of
events so far as we can see the links,
without attempting to discover the
ends of the chain. We can study the
effects of gravity, but it is forever im
possible for the human mind to con
ceive of any adequate cause. We may
frame mathematical theories about the
ether, but the human mind is inca
pable of forming a concept of a sub
stance which will comply with the con
ditions. In whatever direction we
turn, we are stopped by the presence
of the unknown. Dr. Larmor will have
it, as we understand him, that much of
the unknown is unknowable. It is pos
sible that we overestimate Dr. Lar
mor’s pessimism; we truct that we do.
Among the matters to which he di
rected attention was attraction. Its
phenomena are common and obvious,
even apart from gravity, but they ap
pear to bo absolutely inexplicable. We
speak of a torque of a motor, or a dy
namo. and it is part of the work of the
electrician and the engineer to calcu
late its amount under stated condi
tions: but no one on earth has the
smallest notion of why torque exists
at all in the combination of iron, cop
per, cotton and shellac. The magnet
gives us a puzzle as recondite as any
in the universe. In old times, when
men did not use very accurate lan
guage. it was said that a lodestone
on a permanent magnet “attracted"
iron. No one thought of saying that
the iron attracted the magnet to pre
cisely the same extent. As to the na
ture of the links across space between
the two. no one worried himself. “Ac
tion took place at a distance,” that
wms enough. Sir Isaac Newton was
the first man able to influence thought
to any sufficient extent to point out
that no action of the kind could take
place without seme bridge to span va
cuity. By degrees it began to be un
derstood that what we term magnetic
attraction can he expressed in terms
of lines of force; and, what is of all
things important, that attraction is
due not to anything done by the mag
net per se. but to some external form
of energy which is localized and di
rected by the magnet. But what this
form of energy is, or how the magnet
works, no one, as we have said, knows.
—London .Engineer.
MAINE’S KING CUMPICKER.
■ ' Ixmlii * l.uiiatv I-ife, but Makes &
Good Income.
Ezra Robar, the king gumplckcr of
Maine, has camoed all winter on Por
gie Brook, and when he comes to town
this spring he will have bags and bags
of amber lumps to swap for the dol
lars of the druggists, who always pay
the highest prices for the best gum.
The life of a gumpicker, without
doubt, is the most lonely that, a man
can lead. The man go into the woods
in October, and they make a study of
spruce growth. They have an odd out
fit, consisting generally of several
polics and knives, a pair or two of
snowshoos. a small dog, a couple of
blankets, and a pair of “climbers.”
They av like those used by telegraph
linemen.
The gumpickere travel alone, and
have secrets, like gold hunters. They
follow *he wake of the old whirlwinds
that have left long furrows in the wil
derness, and as long as they can track
the course by the gum that forms on
trees wounded the previous season
they follow it along. Sometimes a
gum hunter finds that his pathway
has been intercepted by another hun
ter, who had discovered the lead, and
anew plan of campaign must be re
sorted to.
Thefe are many men who go into
the woods to chop trees or swamp
roads at $25 a month who work every
Sunday at digging gum from the
boughs of the spruces, and in that
way they greatly increase their earn
ings, although they are not nearly so
successful as the professional digger.
The verctan gum hunter has made his
occupation a life study and has re
duced the work to a science. v ! Ho
can go tip a tree like a cat. and skin
it bare of gum, from stump to top.
while the logger would be getting
readv to climb. The lumberman gen
erally gets 20 to 30 pounds of gum
in a winter, and sells it at from SO
cents to $1.25 a pound, according to
quality
A professional gum hunter can
make f-om $3 to $8 a day when he
strikes a really good gum country.
When he gets into a good place he
keeps very quiet, about it until he has
gathered the last lump in sight. He
makes from S4OO to SBOO in a season,
and be earns every cent of it by
hard, lonely work. —New Y*ork Times.
QUAINT AND CURIOUS.
Tho leading poultryman in a thriv
ing North Missouri town answers to
the name of Henry Coop.
When Hannibal’s army descended
from the Alps into the valley of Lom
bardy, the whole force was well nigh
routed by a plague of mosquitos, which
drove men and animals almost wild
with pain.
“I bought some apples from a China
man yesterday, giving him an Ameri
can dollar,” writes a Kansas soldier
hoy from Pekin, "and in the change
which he gave me back was an Ameri
can half dollar of the date of 1813. 1
have been offered $lO for it.”
' i Esquimau babv is horn fair ex
cept for iarl round spot on t
us the back, varying in size from
a three penny bit to a shillina.
From this centre head of color the
dark tint gradually spreads till the
toddling Esquimau is as beautifully
and as completely and as highly col
ored as a well smoked meerschaum
pipe. The same thing happens among
the Japanese.
A child’s savings bank has been dug
out of the ruins of Ostia, the seaport
of ancient Rome. The bank was an
earthen pot containing 145 stiver
coins issued by Roman emperors be
tween the years 200 and 19 B. C. The
little saving* bank was almost perfect
when it was uncovered. It is three
inches long and two and one-half
inches wide, with a slit in the top
through which the money was dropped.
Captain Baron Holzing of the Third
Baden Dragoons recently covered a
distance of 15 kilometres In the space
of 25 minutes, riding against a rail
way train running from Graben to the
neighborhood of Carlsruhe. He ar
rived eight minutes before the train.
His horse had been especially trained
for the ride, having been fed on a
particular sort of cake, instead of oats,
for weeks past. The ride was accom
plished without extraordinary exer
tion. .and the horse was still fit for
more work at the finish.
Remarkable to relate, wood can be
utilized for soft flowing gowns. Wood
pulp silk has long been a staple indus
try in St. Etienne, district of France.
By certain secret chemical processes
the pulp is reduced to a soapy condi
tion. It is then forced into tubes full
of tiny holes, through which it
emerges in the form of fine silk like
threads. These are speedily dried by
being passed through hot atmosphere,
and are forthwith wound on bobbins
ready to be woven into silk. The ap
pearance of this unioue product is s“ 5 -i
to be so natural that even experts are
mistaken and think it the genuine ar
ticle.
A century ago the potato was anew
and unpopular article of food in
France. j. _ _ .
MR. BLUFF.
Ho lenrcliased Shakespeare,
Im>Ul)<l
A forty-volume set.
He searched for Dickens, Balzac'*'
tales—
The host that he could get : *
And Hugo, Huxley, Darwin, too.
And twenty score beside.
They liiud his bookshelves, wide b#
read
"Proud Poll, the Pirate's Bride.”
Of music he had Mozart's works,
Beethoven’s symphonies,
A gilt piano, too, with real
Hand-whittled ivory keys.
Herr Wagner’s bust adorned the Boom,
And fancies rare would rise,
Until you heard him carol forth: /
"She Made Them Goo-Goo Eyes.”
•—Josh Wink, in Baltimore American.
HUMOROUS.
Wigg—When my grandfather died
all the clocks stopped. Wagg—What
an untimely end.
Boggs—There goes a man who nev
er speaks a really good word of any
body. Joggs—A misanthrope, eh?
Boggs—No; he stutters.
“What’s your name?” thundered the
magistrate. “John," replied the man
of many aliases. “What’s your laat
name?” “I haven’t, quite decided.”
Muggins—Subbubs seems to be
pretty lucky. Buggius—Lucky is no
name for it. Even his neighbors’ hens
come and lay their eggs in his yard.
He—So you wanted to know some
thing about my past. I hope you didn’t
go to extremes? She (adherent of
spiritualism)—No; I went to a medi
um.
Mrs. Buggins—That was a rather se
vere whipping you gave to Willie this
morning. Mr. Buggins—Huh! You
ought to see the kind that mother used
to make.
“That defaulting bank clerk was en
gaged in some other business." said
Mr. Bellefield, impressively. ‘’What
other business?” asked Mr. Bloom
field. “Steal.”
Goodman —Go and see him, and I
think he’ll give you a job; but first
of all you need a shave. Uppers—
You’re mistaken there. “How do you
mean?” “First of all I need the. price
of a shave.”
“You seem to be very fond of cof
fee,” said the landlady, as she passed
over the sixth cup. “It looks like it,”
returned the boarder, “when I'm will
ing to swallow so much water for the
sake of getting a little.
“What are you crying for, little
boy?” asked the kind old lady. "Me
fader’s sick in bed,” replied the little
boy. “I'm glad to see you so sympa
thetic.” “It ain't dat. He promised to
take me to do circus today, an’ den
he went an’ got sick. 800-hoo-hoo! ”
Husband (going to his rich uncle’s
funeral) —Put a couple of large hand
kerchiefs into my pocket dear. The
old gentleman promised to leave me
$50,000, and I shall want to shed
some appropriate tears. Wife —But
suppose when the will is read you find
he hasn’t left you anything? Husband
—ln that case you had better put in
three.
SAYS AMERICA WAS FOUND IN 492-
Huddhiiit Prl*t Kay* Japiiiirin Got. Hr
1000 Year* Before < oliiidlmi*.
Schuye Sonoda, a Buddhist priest o t
Japan, has just returned from Mexico
with what he regards as convincing
proof that his people discovered Amer
ica 1000 years before Columbus and
carried their faith along the Pacifi*
coast from Alaska to Mexico. Sonoda
has been assisted by Senor Batres.
archaeologist of the Mexican govern
ment.
Sonoda followed the chronicles of
Hoier Shin,a Buddhist monk.who lived
in 499 A. D. returned to his native land
with an account of explorations that
reached to a land he called Fu Sang,
now identified by Sonoda with Mexico,
because of the maguey plant Sonoda
says he found innumerable evidences
of Buddhist influence over the native*
of Mexico. Some of these were in th*
Mexican zodiac with its 28 hours, ori
ental letterings and signs on temple*,
stone images and pottery and hundreds
of names which are slightly corrupted
from Japanese. He found the temples
invariably facing south as in Thibet,
the home of Buddhism, and in mosaics
at Uitla he found the common cross of
Thibet. He also found strong racial
resemblances in features between the
Mexican and California mission Indi
ans and the Japanese. So strong were
these resemblances that when a Oali
forian mission Indian was dressed in
Japanese costume and photographed.
Prof. John Fyer and the chair of orien
tal languages, University of California,
declared that the photograph was of a
Japanese of the northern islands and
bore no resemblance to a California
lpdfan.
Sonoda will write a book on his re
searches and says he will submit proof*
that will convince the scientific world
that the Japanese discovered Ameri
ca.—New York Sun.
Front Alarms.
Marked success has attended the ef
forts of southern ami western fruit
growers to protect, by artificial heat,
their crops from dangerous frost at
tacks during the winter season. Frost
alarms have recently been devised as
an additional precaution. These are
simply thermometers arranged to reg
ister dangerous “drops” in temperat
ture, the alarm being given by means
of an electric bell. The device is ex
ceedingly simple, being merely anew
application of old principles. Ar
rangements are provided for the ad
justment of the alarm, so that the
alarm can be set for any temperature,
and warning given whenever the tem
perature falls within a few degrees of
actual danger.