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CHAPTER I.
MY AMERICAN MILLIONS.
IT WAS the middle of the night (as
I thought) when S&vory—my man.
my landlord, valet and general fac
totum —came in and woke uie. He
gave me a letter, saying simply. "Tbe
gentleman's a-waiting. sir.” and I read
It twice, without understanding It in
the very least.
Could It be a hoax? To satisfy my
self I sat up In bed. rubbed my aston
ished and still half sleepy eyes and
read It again. It ran as follows:
GUAY & QUINLAN. SOLICITORS.
101 Lincoln's Iks. July 11. 189 —.
Der Sir—lt is our plrasing duty to inform
you, tt the request of our New York ageuts,
M'•!•. Smiddy k Dtnn of 57 Chambers street.
New York city, that they have now definitely and
conclusively established your claim is the sole
surviving relative and general heir-at-law of their
late esteemed client. Mr Aretsa MoEsught of
Church place and Fifth avenue. New York.
As the imnunt of your Inheritance Is very con
siderable and is estimated approximately at be
tween $14,000,000 and $15,000,000. sar three millions
•f sterling money, we have thought it right It, ap
prise you of your good fortune without delay.
Our Mr. Kiehard Quinlan will hand you this letter
in person and will be pleased to take your in
structions. We are, sir, your obedient servants.
Ghat i Quinlan.
Captain William Aretaa Wood. D. 8. 0., *1
CUrges Street. Piccadilly.
“Here. Savory Who brought this?
Do you say he is waiting? I'll see him
hi half a minute." And, sluicing my
bead in cold water. I put on a favorite
old dressing gown and passed Into the
next room, followed by Roy. my pre
cious golden collie, who began at once
to sniff suspiciously at my visitor’s
legs.
I found there a prim, little, old-young
gentleman, who scanned me curiously
through bis gold rimmed pince nez.
Although, no doubt, greatly surprised—
fop he <t! l not quite expect to see an
arehmlllioualre iu an old ulster with a
ragged collar of catskln, with damp,
unkempt locks and unshorn chin at
that time of day—be addressed me
with much formality and respect.
“1 must apologize for this Intrusion.
Captain Wood —you are Captain
Wood?’
“Undoubtedly.”
“I am Mr. Quinlan, very much at
your service. Pardon tne—ls this your
dog? Is he quite to be trusted?"
"Perfectly, if you don't speak to him.
Lie down, Roy! I fear 1 am very late—
a ball last night. Do you ever go to
balls. Mr. Quinlan?”
“Not often. Captain Wood. But If 1
have come too early I can call later
on."
“By no means. 1 am dying to hear
more. But. first of all, this letter. It’s
ali bona fide. 1 suppose?"
"Without question. It Is from our
firm. There can be no possible mis
take. We have made It our business
to verify all the facts—lndeed, this is
rot the first we bad beard of the affair
—but we did not think it right to speak
to you too soon. This morning, bow
ever, the mail has brought a full ac
knowledgment of your claims, so we
came on at once to see you."
“How did vou find me out. pray?”
"We have had our eye on you for
some time past. Captain Wood,” said
the little lawyer smilingly. "While
we were Inquiring—you understand—
we were anxious to do the best for
you”—
"I'm sure Pm infinitely obliged to
you. But still 1 can’t believe It. quite.
I should like to be convinced of the re
ality of my good luck. You see, I
haven’t thoroughly taken It in.”
“Read this letter from our New York
agents. Captain Wood. It gives more
details.” and be handed me a typewrit
ten communication on two quarto
sheets of tissue paper; also a number
of cuttings from the New York press.
The enrly part of the letter referred
to the search and discovery of the heir
at-law (myself) and stated frankly that
there could be no aort of doubt that
my case was clear and that they would
W pleased, when called upon, to put
me in full possession of my estate.
From that they passed on to a brief
enumeration of the assets, which com
prised real estate in town lots, lands,
houses, stocks, shares, well placed in
vestments of all kinds, part ownership
of a lucrative “road.” or rniiwav
controlling power in shipping compa
nies, coal companies, cable companies,
and mining companies in all parts of
the United States.
“It will be seen that the estate Is of
some magnitude.” wrote Messrs. Smid
dy & Dann. “and we earnestly hope
that Captain William A. Wood will
take an early opportunity of coming
fever to look into things for himself.
We shall then be ready to give a full
account of our stewardship and to ex
plain any details.
“Meanwhile, to meet any small im
mediate needs, we have thought it ad
visable to remit a first bill of exchange
for $50.000 —say £10.217 17s. Gd.. at
current rates—negotiable at sight and
duly charged by us to the estate.”
jtt a u tt tt tt tt
A . **
GIRL a
OF GRIT.
—ft
BY MAJOR
ARTHUR GRIFFITHS. ££
-i >- :
COPYRIGHT, 1900, BY H. F. FEN NO A 00. ++ i
ft ft ft ft ft ft
“The Inst part of the letter Is con
vincing enough.” I said with a little
laugh, as I returned It to Mr. Quinlan.
“Always supposing that it Is real mon
ey and will not turn to withered
leaves.”
“How would you like It paid, Captain
Wood? Into your bankers?”
“If yon Messrs. Sykes & Sars
field, the army agents, of Pail Mali.”
“It shall le done at once. I will call
there. If you will permit me, on way
back to Lincoln’s Inn. Is* there any
thing more? As to your affairs gen
erally. If you have no other lawyers,
we are supposed to be good men of
business and perhaps of course we ad
vance no claims—you may consider
that we have served you well already
and may intrust us further with your
confidence."
“My dear sir, I fully and freely ad
mit your claims. I should be most un
grateful if I did not Pray consider
youi’selves Installed as my confidential
legal advisers from this time forth.”
“Thank you sincerely. Captain Wood.
I can only express a hope that as our
acquaintance grows you will have no
reason to regret this decision. 1 will
now—unless you have any further
com mnnds— wish you a very good
morning.”
With a stiff, studied bow he bent be
fore me and was gone. He left me a
prey to many emotions—surprise, be
wilderment still predominating, but
withal a sense of pleasurable excite
ment.
It was Indeed a change, a revolution
In my affairs. Hitherto, like most men
of mv cloth. 1 had been constantly
hard up; of late, all but in “Queer
street.” for I had yielded only too read
ily to the fascinations of London. Aft
er mauy years of service abroad, this
spell at home. In the heart and center
of life, was enough to turn any one’s
head. I was now on the headquarters
staff, with an appointment In the in
telligence department, and I found peo
ple were very kind; shoals of Invita
tions came In. and i accepted every
thing—balls. dinners, routs. I went
everywhere on the chance of meeting
Frida Falrbolme. at whose feet 1 had
fallen the very first day we met. I
worked hard at the office, but I played
hard. too. making the most of my time,
of my means, which, unhappily, did
not go far. Four or five hundred a
year is not exactly affluence for a care
less young soldier, with a war office
appointment, aping the ways of a fin
ished man about town. Gloves, but
tonholes and cab fares swallowed up
half of It. and with the other half I had
hardly been able to keep out of debt.
That, at least, and without looking
further, was all over now.
Savory had suffered more than once
from the narrowness of my budget,
but he had beeu very good and patient,
and I was glad to think lie would be
the first to benefit by my good fortune.
“Would you like your money?” I ask
ed as 1 buttoued up my coat and made
ready to start for the office, a little late
in the day.
“Well. sir. I am rather pressed. The
quarter’s rent is overdue, and the land
lord called twice yesterday. If you
could make It convenient”—
“How much do 1 owe you?”
“Seventeen pounds eleven for the
rooms, and Mrs. Savory’s bill is £9.”
I had taken out my checkbook while
he spoke and wrote him a cheek for
£SO.
"A little check! There! Keep what’s
over after you’ve bought a nice bit of
u lwiU now wish you tuvery good mom
ina "
jewelry for Mrs. S. Tou've been long
Buffering with me and shall be the first
j to share my luck.”
Out in the streets, along King street,
down Pall Mall. 1 trod the pavement
with the conscious air of a man who
had heard good news. Friends I pass
! ed saw it plainly on my face and ral
lied me on my beaihing looks and
buoyant demeanor. They had not left
me when I walked through the swing
ing doors of Sykes & Sarstield’s bauk.
' I was no longer the humble suppliant
for a pitiful overdraft, but the pos
, sessor of a fine balance, who could
I hold his head high. Roy usually wait
ed patiently outside, but today I en
j couraged him to enter at my heels.
CHAPTER 11.
AT TI.E INTELLIGENCE OFFICE.
As 1 left the bauk. where 1 had been
most cordially received, with my sov
ereign purse full and the alee crisp
notes for £250 carefully put by in my
pocketltook, I began at hist to believe
lu my fortune. There is a solid, unmis
takable reality In the chink of good
gold, while the supple civility of the
great financiers, who had so lately
looked black at my overdrawn account,
proved bow completely my position
was changed.
The morning's adventures and sur
prises hud occupied much time, and It
was now getting late; past noon, in
fact. We members of the "Intelligence”
made it a point of honor to be in good
time at the office—an hour or more
earlier than this. It had hardly occur
red to me that I need not go to the of
fice at all. You see, I had been some
13 years under discipline and not many
hours an archmilliouaire. Besides,
there is such a thing as esprit de corps.
1 was a public servant, engaged iu re
sponsible work, and I could not, would
not, have neglected it willingly; no, not
for the wealth of the Indies.
So I stepped briskly dowu the steps
below the Duke of York's column and
crossed the park at my very best pace.
For all that, I was overtaken near
Birdcage walk by some one who hailed
me without coming quite close.
“One word, sir. 1 pray, in your own
best interests. But, sakes alive, keep
back that hound. He is a fine beast,
no doubt, but I’d rather have him
farther away.”
“Quiet, Roy! My dog will not barm
you.” I said civilly "But at this mo
ment I am very much pressed”—
“If you will allow me to walk with
you a few yards, uo more, I reckon 1
could mala* it plain to you that I have
a good excuse for intruding upon your
vuluable time.”
The park was as open to him as to
ny, and when he ranged himself along
side 1 made no objections. I confess I,
too, was curious to hear what he had
to say.
“Y’ou have enemies, sir,” he began
abruptly, and he looked so comical as
he said this that I was rude enough to
laugh. He was a broad shouldered,
square faced, weather beaten looking
man, with a florid complexion and a
bulgy nose, irreproachably dressed In
the very height of the fashion. But he
bad rather the air of a second class
tragedian, with his long, black, curly
hair and his voice so deep aud so sol
emn as he conjured me to be serious.
“I reckon this is uo laughing matter,
captaiu. Guess your enemies will soon
fix that. They mean mischief.”
He spoke It like a sentence of death
and seemed very much in earnest, yet
I could hardly take it seriously.
“Such a threut scarcely affects me.
You see. It is my business to risk my
life. The queen has sometimes en
ftri/} htr? ST? mino/'
“These L speak of are altogether your
own. captain—people who grudge you
your new wealth.”
“You have heard then?”
“Heard!" he cried, with great scorn.
‘•"There is nothing 1 do not know about
you. captain. How did you enjoy the
summer on the Cuyuni river, and were
the maps you got at Angostura very
useful to you?”
“Hush, man. hush! Who and what
are you? What the mischief are you
driving at?"
By this time we had entered Queen
Anne's gate and were at the door of
the office.
“Is this your bureau?” he now asked.
“May 1 not go inside with you. only for
one momeutV The matter is urgent.
It affects you very closely. Y’our dan
ger is imminent. They are bouipl, these
enemies, to do you an injury—a terrible
Injury."
“Oh. well, then, it must keep,” 1 said
petulantly. “1 cannot give you any
more time now; I am expected here.
I suppose Sir Charles has arrived?” 1
asked of the office messenger, old Ser
geant Major Peachey.
"Yes. sir. he lias been here these
three hours. He came—on his bicycle
—soon after 9 a. m.. and he has asked
for you. I think, twice.”
“There, your business must keep.
Mr.”-
“Snuyzer. I bow to your decision,
but if you will permit me. I will call
In Clarges street this evening at”—
“If you must come, come about 5.
Good day," aud I passed iuto the office.
1 shared my room at the “iutelllgeuee”
with a colleague, Swete Thorublll. of
the artillery, a lively youth out of
hours, but who stuck to his work man
fully—more so than any of us, and we
were by no meaus Idle men.
“Thought you were dead,” he said
shortly, and without looking up from
his papers: “wonder you took the
trouble to come at all.”
“I was detained by something spe
cial. Important business. Anyhow,
it’s no affair of yours,” 1 answered,
rather nettled.
“Yes it Is. when it throws me out of
my stride. I wish you’d make up your
mind either to come or stay away al
together. There has been a regular
hue aud cry for you all the morning,
and I’ve been disturbed abominably.
I have those calculations of the com
parative penetration of the new pro
jectiles in hand, and they take some
doing.”
“Well, keep your hair on. I don’t
want to disturb you. But wno was it.
anyhow?”
“The boss chief himself, Collingham,
Sir Charles. He has sent three times
for you. and came in twice. Wanted
you for something pressing. Now. I
believe, he is doing the job himself.
M ise man. Do it a blamed sight bet
ter than you or any man .lack of us.”
At this moment an office messenger
came in witli a huge bundle of papers,
which he placed before me on my
desk. They were enveloped iu the
usual green "jacket,” which meant ex
treme urgency, aud on the outside was
written, in a big, bold hand, “Captain
Wood—speak.”
"He’ll do most of the talking, I ex
pect,” went on Swete Thornhill mali
ciously. “He’s tit to be tied. Gb in,
man. at once, aud take your punish
ment.”
The distinguished officer at that time
head and chief of our department was
Major General Sir Charles Collingham,
V. C.. K. C. 8.. one of the most notable
soldiers of the day. ardent, fearless,
highly skilled, strong in counsel, fore
most in the field, who had served al
most everywhere, in all the wars, great
and small, of recent years and hud
made a close study of the science of
his profession as well. He had travel
ed far and wide, knew men and many
cities, was as much at home at court
as in camp, popular in society, which
ho cultivated In his spare moments, al
though he allowed nothing to stand in
the way of his work. The service came
first, and first in the service was the
all important, transeeudently useful
department, as he thought It, over
which he presided.
Sir Charles expected—uay. exacted—
a like devotion from us. his staff offi
cers. whom in all matters of duty he
ruled with a rod of iron. None of us
liked to face him when he was put out,
whicL, it may he said, was not Beldom,
“Great Scott!” ho roared. "You lazy,
idle young villain /”
for he was choleric, although not cross
grained. Under a stern face and rough
manner he had a kindly nature far
down, for he did not wear his heart
upon his sleeve, certainly not for an
erring subordinate, as he considered
me just then.
I felt rather sheepish and uncomfort
able as I appeared before the great
man. The general was tall In stature,
very thin and straight, while bis
strong, weather beaten face—the deep
bronze contrasting sharply with the
bristling white mustachios and long,
projecting eyebrows, over fierce, steely
blue eyes- commanded respect.
He began on me at once. “By the
Lord Harry, this won't do. Wood!” he
cried, with amazing volubility and
force. "What have you got to say for
yourself? Slept iate? Of course you
will sleep late if you w aste the night
flirting and philandering with that lit
tle madcap devil, Frida Fairholme. But,
1 tell you. 1 won’t have the business of
this office neglected. Now' you are late
for parade, and you know I insist upon
punctuality. And 1 practice what 1
preach. 1 was here as the clock struck
10 this morning, and I’d already been
to Hounslow and back on my ‘bike.’
But there, you’ll end by putting me out
of temper. Don’t do it again.”
“1 won’t. Sir Charles,” I said meekly,
yet wondering why I, a man of mil
lions. submitted to such slavery, and I
turned to go.
“Ah. by the way. Wood, bring me
that report of yours, will you. on the
defense of the Canadian frontier? It
is ready. 1 presume?”
“Well, uo. Sir Charles, not quite. I
have been delayed by”—
“Great Scott!” he roared, instantly
blazing up into white heat. “You lazy,
idle young villain! 1 believe you want
to drive me mad. You know as well
as I do that the foreign office is press
ing for the paper, that I promised it to
Lord Salisbury within a week, and
here you. you— Oh, go away! I want
none of your excuses. I’ve had enough
of you. Y'ou shan’t stay here, bringing
discredit on the office. I’ll have none
of it You shall go back to your grovel
ing. guard mouuting routine, and when
you are grizzling your soul out in that
beastly tropical hole. Bermuda, you
may be sorry for the chance you’ve lost.
Go away. 1 say. I’ve done with you.
I hate the very sight of you.”
And I went, meaning in my rage—
for I, too. had become furiously angry
—to take him at his word and walk
straight out of the house. But custom
Is strong. The spirit of subordination,
of obedience, the soldierly sense of
duty, when once imbibed, are not to be
shaken off in a second. W T hen I re
gained my desk and saw the papers
there, 1 remembered that 1 was bound
In lioDor to fulfill my obligations. My
chief had, no doubt, gone too far, but
that did not release me. Before i took
any further steps 1 must first com
plete my work.
There was Dot much wanting to fin
ish my report on the Canadian fron
tier. and 1 did it out of baud. Then 1
sent it in to the chief and prepared to
tackle the second set of papers, which
proved to be a scheme, marked "strict
ly confidential,” for a combined attack
upon New Y’ork by sea and land. (Our
political relations at that particular
moment were greatly strained. There
were rumors of grave disagreement, if
nothing worse.) But now i — 1
word "speaK." and 1 knew that 1 must
take verbal instructions before 1 set to
work. I must face my irascible chief
again, and I had uo great fancy for it.
However, it must come sooner or lat
er. so I scribbled a few words on a
sheet of foolscap and went in.
The general was at his standing desk
(he seldom sat down) pouring over my
other report, hut he looked round as I
entered and uodiled pleasantly. Bright
sunshine had already succeeded the al
ways fugitive storms in his hasty
temperament.
“This will do first rate. Wood. There
are only one or two ;*oints that need
amplification,” and we went over the
items together.
Then 1 asked him about the other
matter, and soon heard all 1 wanted to
know. I can set dowu nothing of this
here, for the whole affair was very
secret and particular—of vital interest
to two great countries and Sir Charles
Impressed It on me very earnestly that
the paper and plans must os. no ac
count pass out of my possession.
"You may have to work on the
scheme at your own diggings, for it
must go in by the end of the week. But
pray be most careful. Lock up the
papers in your dispatch box at night
and keep the thing entirely private.”
“It is just possible that you may wish
to give the job to some one else, gen
eral, as 1 shall hardly be here to com
plete it,” I said, rather stiffly, aud
with that I handed him the sheet of
foolscap which contained my resigna
tion.
“Why, Wood, hang it all, you don’t
mean this surely?” cried Sir Charles,
aghast. "You can’t have taken offense
at what 1 said this morning? I was a
trifle put out, perhaps, but I never
meant it serionsly. No, uo; take this
beastly thing back or let me tear It up.
This will uever do. Forgive and for
get, my boy. There’s my hand on It. I
beg your pardon aud— I know you
won’t be late again.”
I hastened to explain that my resig
nation was in no way the result of
piqqe, and that I was on tbe point of
sending In my papers to retire from
the service altogether.
"The simple fact is that 1 have come
Into money, sir—a good bit of motlby,”
I explained.
“How much, if it is a fair question?
I ask because you may have a good
enough income, a devilish fine income,
and yet it would be wiser for you to
stay here. The discipline of any regu
lar routine work is good for independ
ent men. Believe me, you’d soon sick
en of being entirely your own master:
take to drink or cards or petticoats
and go to the devil hands down. What
I s ft —two, three, four thousand a
year?”
“It is far more than that. Sir
Charles,” I went on. “I believe I am a
millionaire two or three times over.
Will you please read that?” and I
handed him my lawyers’ letter.
“Whew!” He whistled several bars
of a popular street melody (very much
out of tune), folded up the letter, hand
ed It back, and then, looking me
straight in the face, said, with slow,
kindly emphasis:
“By George. Wood, I pity you.”
It was not quite what I expected
from this experienced, long headed
man of the world, and he read my
disappointment In my face.
"Doesn’t please you. eh? You think
yourself the most fortunate chap alive?
But you’re all wrong. Vast riches are
a nuisance—they are worse.”
He threw up both his hands and be
gan to slowly pace up and down the
room.
“A nuisance! A tyranny Indeed.
They will weigh you down and worry
you perpetually. Lord, Lord, the care
of all this money, the use of it, the
defense of It! The whole world. Wood,
is made up of two classes —those who
have money, and those who want to
take it from them. You will soon have
a much poorer opinion of human na
ture, with their continual cry ef ’Give,
give.’ But let’s talk about yourself.
What do you mean to do?”
“Honestly. Sir Charles, I hardly
know. I am still too much bewildered
and taken aback by what happened.
Will you advise me, sir?”
It s not so easy, my lad. It depends
so much upon yourself—upon your
principles, your tastes and predilec
tions. Of course you will marry, and
Ive a shrewd notion which way your
fancy lies. I know her well—Frida
Fairholme. that little minx. Miss
Frida will lead you a fine dance.”
“But, Sir Charles, I have never
spoken to her. I have no reason to
suppose that, if I did, she would ac
cept me.”
“Try her,” said the general dryly.
“You have three millions and odd—new
and strangely eloquent reasons for
convincing her of your worth.”
“She is not that sort at all. Sir
Charles.”
“Then Eve wasn’t her ancestor. I’ve
known her from a child. She’s pretty
enough. I’ll admit, but. by the living
jingo. I’d rather you married her than
I. By George, she’ll be a handful! At
any rate, she will give you plenty to
do. Miss Frida will set the money
moving, and you too. So much the bet
ter, perhaps.”
“Then you advise me to leave the
service, sir?”
“Of course you must leave.” he roar
ed with sudden fury. “What, a cap
taiu iu the army with a hundred and
fifty thousand a year! It’o out of the
question. But don’t be in too great a
hurry. Wood. Suppose this windfall
proves a fraud, where are you? You
can have leave—although I don’t know
how I can spare you with all this go
ing on”—
Leave was a weak point with Sir
Charles.
“But,” he went on. “if you must, you
must, but not for a day or two. .please.
And. Wood, my dear chap, don’t neg
lect this New York business. lam re
tying so much on you for It. You’ve
been out there and know all the ropes.”
So I stuck to the papers for tbe rest
of the afternoon, and when 1 left de
sired the messenger to send them on in
a dispatch box to Clarees street.
[to be continued.l
Breaking the News.
Jackson —See here. Jimson, that con
founded dog of yours kept up a contin
ual how! under my window till 3 o’clock
this morning!
Jimson (firmly)—lt wasn't my dog,
sir!
Jackson—l’m glad to hear that, old
man. because I hated to ask you to
bury the body. To whom did you sell
him?—Brooklyn Life.
Origin of Cukr *
The cake walk pro, Kr ha > ■
among the French negro* * arl *Bs
ana more than a center* „ ' jf
New Orleans Ttn.cs- dJLkL** l '
is little doubt that it Is a n *
some of the old French com-’S' 10 '
It resembles several of
From New OrlcM it'■!*“ '"aß*
enti.e soml, a,„l
found of convenience to the null
negroes. They were not Wetfc 1 *
cense, and it was seldom that 7 ’ W
ices of a preacher were called,n
cake walk a man might legitL At ® s
show his preference for a "“'l.
thus publicly claim her for a **■<
In effect the cake walk was n\ 8
ferent from the old Scotch
which required only public ,1, r
edgment from the contracting
So tblo festival
a wooing, an acceptance or a rPl( s®
and a ceremony. This explains lu ,
ularity with the blacks outside
beauties, with the accompauW
music, which is competent at all -
to command negro support.
Cake walking has Improved aB
most things that are constantly
ticed. It has lost its old signified®
in the south. Negroes now get martSl
when they marry at all | n the vh 3
folks’ fashion. It has become. howevß
er. a pantomime dance. Pronerly
formed, it is a beautiful one 'Thecai fl
is not much of a prize, though the
gro has a sweet tooth. ■
A Dlacoverv by Chnnoe I
Finiguerra. the master of early fl
graving, delighted in doing deeds ofl
kindness. One day a washerwoman 1
lu washing a piece of clothing j n u . bi( , h B
a needle had been carelessly | e ft had!
the misfortune to run it into her hand I
The needle broke, and more than half!
of it was left imbedded in the flesh it I
gave her much pain, and as soon as she I
could she went to Finiguerra’s studio I
put down tbe bundle of damp clothes I
that she was carrying to their owner
and asked the artist to help her. After
much patient, careful manipulation
with his fine tools he succeeded in ex
tracting the broken needle.
The woman thanked him, and as she
lifted her damp bundle to leave the
studio Finiguerra noticed that It had
rested upon one of bis engravings and
had received an excellent impression
from it. The engraving, like all others
of that time, was a metal plate com
plete in itself and was regarded as a
single picture. The Impression made
upon the damp cloth suggested to the
alert mind of Finiguerra the possibility
of producing an Indefinite number of
pictures from a single original, by ex
perimenting he perfected his discovery
and eventually made It possible for all
homes to have beautiful engravings,
for previous to his discovery only the
wealthy could afford them.
Found a Mare’s Nest.
A brigadier general or major general
Is entitled to the keep of three horses
at Uncle Sam’s expense; a colonel, lieu
tenant colonel, major or captain to two
only.
The forage allowance Is often com
muted by turning over tbe same to the
quartermaster, and this practice once
betrayed a suspicious new member of
the house into a curious blunder. He
announced that he had discovered that
“officers of the army are selling the
forage allowed to them, and one such
case I am prepared to cite from tbe
records of the war department, a case
in which the oats and hay were trans
ferred, doubtless for a consideration,
to a person named Q. M. Corral."
There was an exchange of looks and
winks among his astonished hearers,
and then an old member kindly rose
and said. “I presume, Mr. Speaker,
that the memorandum referred to by
my distinguished friend refers to a
transfer of forage, in the ordinary
course of business, to the quartermas
ter’s corral.”—Buffalo Commercial.
The Has Been*.
They met again in after years by
chance at the door of a circus tent, the
judge and the middle aged woman who
had been Maud Muller.
“Great scott,” muttered the judge to
himself as he noted her sallow face,
faded- hair, stubby fingers with the
marks of the washboard upon them
and the group of slatternly children
she was angrily trying to induce the
ticket taker to pass in free, "what a
lucky escape I had!”
"Merciful gracious,” she mused In
wardly, looking at his bald head, wa
tery eyes, double chin and protuberant
stomach, “and I once wanted to marry
that man!”
They passed in, with their respective
noses perceptibly elevated and were
listening a few minutes later to the
time honored jokes of the ciown.— Ch -
Mgo Tribune.
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