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CARTERSVILLE AMERICAN. VOLUME 11. Tie Cartersiille American. OFFICIAL ORGAN OF BARTOW CO. PUBLISHED EVERY TUESDAY MORNING T American Publishing Cos, CAKTKRSVILLK, ©A, OFFICE! Up-Stairs, North-East Corner of West Main and Erwin Streets. All communicatians or letters on business should be addressed to AMERICAN PUBLISHING CO. Carteraxllle, Ga. TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION: One Year, Cash in Advance. ....$1.60 Six Months, “ “ 7& Three ** “ “ 50 Jlf not paid in 4 months, $2.00 per year. Papers sent outside ol the County, 15 cents additional for postage. RATES OF ADVERTISING: For each Square of 1 inch or less, for the first insertion, $1.00; each subsequent insertion, 50 cents. Special contracts made tor larger space or longer time. All contract advertisements must be paid quarterly. Local Notices, 120 cents per line lor the first insertion, and 10 cents for each subsequent in sertion. Special Notices ten cents per line. Tributes of Respect and obituaries over six linos, 10 cents per line. AJi personal cards in Local Columns 25 cents per line. DIRECTORY. COURT CALENDAR—CHEROKKK CIR CUIT. J. C. Fain, Judge. J. W. Harris, Jr., Solicitor General. Bartow County—Second Monday in January ar.d July. Catoosa County—Second Monday in February and August Murray County—Third Monday iu February and August. Gordon County—Fourth Monday in February and August. l ade County—Third Monday in March and {Riptem her. Whitfield County—First Monday in April and October. BARTOW COUNTY COURT. G. S. Tuinlin, Judge. J. J. Conner, Sol. Gen. Geo. A. Howard. Clerk. J. G. Broughton, Bailiff. Quarterly Terms—First Monday in March, June, September and December. Monthly Term—First Monday in each month. JUSTICES COURTS. Times for holding Justices Courts iu the dif ferent Militia Districts ol Bartow county, Ga,: CartersviUe— No. 822d Second Tue duys, Adairsville " 856th.... Fourth Fridays, CassvtHe “ 828th....second Fridays, Kingston “ 952d..... First Fridays, Euharlee “ 851st Sec’nd Situidays, Ailatoona “ 810th.-... Third Saturdays, IVolfPen “ 1041st....fourth Saturdays, iStacup Creek “ 963d Third Saturdays, Bixth Disti ict *• 036th Fourth Saturdays Mine Log 821th....First Saturdays. COUNTY OFFICERS. J. A. Howard, Ordinary. F. M. Durham, Clerk Superior Court. 11. W. Cobb, Treasurer. John A. Gladdou, sheriff. A. M. Franklin, Deputy Sheriff. Bailey A. Barton, Tax Collector. W. W. Ginn, Tax Receiver. A. M. Willingham, Coroner. t*. W . lv. Peacock, Surveyor. iCoHJHjUsioners—S. C. Prichard, T. C. Moore, A. Vincent, John H. Wike, T. S. Hawkins. CITY OFFICERS. A. P. Wofford, Mayor. James D. Wilkcvson, Marshal. Geo. S. Cobb, Clerk. B. R. Mountcastle, Treasurer. Aldermen—First Ward, J. C. Wofford, A. R. Hudgins; Second Ward, G. Harwell, W. H. Barron; Third Ward, John Stover, Elihu Hall; Fourth Ward, W r . C. Edwards, Aaron Collin*. STANDING COMMITTKKB. Street—Collins, Hudgins, Barron. Finance—Stover, Edwards, Wofford. Cemetery—Hudgins, Collins, Edwards. Public Hall—Hall, Wofford, Barron. Relief— Edwards, Barron, Harwell. CHURCH DIRECTORY. MetuodlsST.—Pastor, Rev. J. B. Robins. Ser vices, every Sunday at 11. a. m., and 7:3b, p. in. Prayer meeting, every Wednesday at 7:30, p. m. Sabbath School, every Sunday at 9:30, a. m.; Juo. W. Akin, Sunt. Youi-g men’s prayer meeting, every Thursday at 7:30, p. m. Baptist.—Pastor, Rev. F. M. Daniel. Ser vices, every Sunday at 10:45, a. m. and 7:15, p. m. Prayer meeting, every Wednesday at 7:15, p. m. Sabbath School, every Sunday at 9:3®, a. in.; D. W. K. Peacocs, Supt. Young men’s prayer meeting, every Sund yat2,p. m. Ser vice of song, every Sunday at 3, p. in. Month fly conference, third Sunday ot each mouth at 3, p. m. PRESBYTEKtAN.—Pastor, Rev. T. E. Smith. Services, every first and third Sundays at It, p. in. Sabbath School, every Sunday at 9, a. m.; T. W. Milner, Supt. Prayer meeting, every Wednesday at 7:30, p. m. Episcopal.—Church of the Ascension. Min ister in charge, Rov. W. K. McConnell. Ser vices. every Sunday, except third in each month, at 11, a. in. Sabbath School, every Sun day at 10. a. in. Professional Cards. T. W. MII.NER. J. W. HARRIS, JR. HILNKK A HARRIS Attorneys-At-Law. Office over Howard's Bank. Cartersville, Ga. JOHN H. WIKLK. DOUGLAS WIKLK. WIHI.E A WIKLE, Attorneys-at-Law & Real Estate Agents Offices at Court House and on Main Street above Erwin, Cartersvillc, Ga. georoe . johssoa, Attorney-at-liaw, Office, West Side Public JOr Will practice In all the Court*. A. M. ROUTE. WALTIH M. KYAH. FOUTE A RYALS, Attorueys-At-Lftw. WILL PRACTICE IN ALL THE COO RTS of thi* state. Prompt and faithful At tention given to all business entrusted to us. Office, corner Main and Erwin Streets, up stairs. Cartersville, GA. J. M. NEHL. J. J. CONNER. W. J. NBAL. COMER A HEEL, Jk ttorney *-At-liw. WILL PRACTICE IN ALL THE COURTS of this ,'tate. Litigated cases mad* A specialty. Prompt attention given to all bus iness entrusted to us, . ai.i* . n a Office on Erwin Street, between Main An A Market. Cartersvillt. GA-_ J. T. SHEPHERD, Pliysiciau and suf|#* Office on Main Street, above Erwin, Cartersville* GA. Railroads. KENNESAW ROUTE! WESTERN R. R. The following time card in effect Sunday, Dec. 30,1883: NORTH BOUND NO. 8-WESTERN EX PRESS—DaiIy. Leave Atlanta 7 30 a. m. Arrive Marietta 8 20 Cartersville.... 9 25 “ Kingston 952 “ Dalton ll 23 “ Chattanooga 100 p. m. NO. I—FAST EXPRESS—DaiIy. Leave Atlanta 2 35 p. ml Arrive Marietta 3 27 •* Cartersville.. 4 29 “ Dalton ..622 “ Chattanooga... 800 NO. 11—LIMITED EXPRESS-Daity. Leavo Atlanta 11 40 p. m. Arrive Marietta 12 39 „. m. “ Cartersville 1 48 *• Dalton 3 44 “ Chattanooga 515 Rome Express—North—Daily, except Sunday. Leave Atlanta 4 05 p. m. Arrive Marietta 3 UO “ Cartersville 6 03 “ Home 7 20 No, 1 carries Pullman cars from Atlanta to Louisville, Jacksonville to Cincinnati, New Orleans to Washington. No. 11 carries Pullman cars from Savannah to Chicago and Atlanta to Nashville- SOUTH BOUND. . NO. 4-FAST EXPRESS. Leave Chattanooga 8 00 a. m. Arrive Dalton 9 33 *• Kingston 11 16 “ Cartersville 1142 “ Marietta 12 46 p.m. Arrive Atlanta 1 45 NO. 2—SOUTHERN EXPRESS. Leave Chattanooga 2 55 p. m. Arrive Dalfon 4 30 “ Kingston 602 Cartersville 6 31 “ Marietta 7 47 Arrive Atlanta 8 40 NO. 12-LIMITED EXPRESS-Uaily. Leave Chattanooga .... 10 15 p. m. Arrive Dalton 11 49 Cartersville 1 47 a. m. “ Marietta 2 50 “ Atlanta 340 Rbme Express—South—Daily, Except Sunday. Leave Rome... 8 30 a. m. Arrive Cartersville 9 45 “ Marietta 10^9 H Atlanta 11 45 No. 4 carrivs Pullman cars from Cincinnati to Atlanta, Washington, New Orleans, Louis ville to Atlanta. No. 12 carries Pullman cars from Chicago to Savannah and Louisville to Atlanta. B, W. WRENN, Gen’l. Pass. Agt. 1 R. A. ANDERSON, Superintendent. EAST & WEST R. R. OF ALA. ON and after Sandav, Nov. 14, 1883, trains on this road will run as follows; GOING WEST—Daily, Except Sunday. no. 1. no. 3. Leave Cartersville 950 a. m. 430 p. m. “ Stilesboro 10 02 4 42 “ Taylorsville 10 37 5 17 “ Rock mart... 11 10 5 50 Arrive Cedartown..., 12 00 6 40 GOING EAST —Daily, Except Sunday. no. 2. MO. 4. Leave Cedartown 205 p. m. 115 a. m. “ Rock mart 3 00 8 07 “ Taylorsville 3 35 8 39 “ Sti esboro ... 3 53 8 55 Arrive Cartersville 4 25 9 25 SUNDAY ACCOMMODATION—Going Eest. Leave Cedartown 0 OQ a. pi. “ Stilesboro 8 62 “ Taj lor.-vllle 9 21 M llockmart...; 9 40 Arrive Cartersville ..10 10 SUNDAY ACCOMMODATION—Going West. Leave Cartersville . .. 2 50 p.m. “ Stilesboro 8 lal “ Taylorsville 3 37 “ Rockmart 4 1J Arrive Cedartown 5 00 ALABAMA DIVISION. Daily, Except Sqnday. Leave East A West Junction. . 2 56 p. in. Arrive Broken Arrow 6 (;0 Leave Broken Arrow 9 00 a. in. Arrive East A West Junction 1 15 p. in. ROME RAILROAD. The following is the present passenger schedule: no. 1. no. 3. Leavo Rome •10a. m. 415 p. m. Arrive Kingston 8 55 5 30 no. 2. no. 4. Leave Kingston 920 a. m. 655 p. m. Arrive Rome 10 25 a. m. 650 xo. 5. Leave Rome 8 00 a. m. Arrive Kingston 9 00 NO. 6. Leave Kingston 9 20 a. m. Arrive Rome 10 10 Nos. 1,2, 3 and 4 will run daily except Sun days. Nos. 5 and 6 will run Sundays only. No 1 will not stop at the junction. Makes close connection at Kingston far Atlanta and Chattanooga. No. 2 makes connection at Rome with E. T. Ya. Jt Ga. It R., for points south. Ei;EN HILLYEIt, President. J. A. SMITH, Gen’l. Pass. Agent. IF YOU ARE GOING West! NORTHWEST SOUTHWEST. BESURE Your Tickets Read via the ~ C. & St. L. By. The McKenzießoute Tba First-claas And Emigrant Passenger* FAVORITE! Albert B. Wrenn, W. I. Rogers. Pa*. Agent, Pas. Agent, Atlanta, Oa. Chattanoog s Tcnn. W. A. lIANLFf, Gen. Pa* A Tkt. Agent, Nashville, Tcnn, R. E. CASO M, 4m DENTIST, cabtibsville. ga. • OSCA, Of Ar curry’o Dnt* Stora. CAKTERSVILLE, GEORGIA, TUESDAY, APRIL 15, 1884. The Cartersville American. Entered at the Post Office ai Cartersville , Qa ., May 9 th, 1882, as second class matter. TUESDAY, APRIL 15, 1884. BIOGRAPHICAL SKETCHES. / No. 3. JOHN CRAWFORD. BORN 1788—DIED 1573. On the 12th of April, 17&8, in Green ville district, South Carolina,John Craw ford was born; he died at his home near Cassville, in Bartow county,Georgia, 12th of August, 1873. In early youth he made up his mind to raise his father’s family to circumstan ces of greater comfort. His father was a poor man with ja larger family. This boy, with a firm will and a persevering energy, clung to his early determination for elev en years. He was successful. Here was the combination of generous aims and honesty of purpose that eventually carried him into the ministry. Diligence and liberality, under the divine favor, made him a man of means; and his ex ample strikingly illustrates the truth,that “ho who sow T s with blessings shall also reap with blessings.” In 1814, when tw’enty-six years old, he volunteered for service in the Creek war, and bore aims through a campaign of six months. On his return from camp he settled on a farm in Laurens district, South Carolina, and shortly after, mar ried Miss Martha Clore, who walked the way of life by his side until death ; called him away, leaving her, with six , little children, “to follow after.” He began liis Christian career by J joining the Boeky Mount Baptist church j Laurens district, South Carolina, in 1819. For more than a half a century he lived the life of a consistent Christian. In the glow’ of his early experience lie felt that those who are receivers should be givers also, and heard and obeyed the Voice which says,“ye are my witnesses.” He at once began to preach the gospel, and was soon ordained to the ministry. Mr. Craw’ford came to Georgia in January, 1836, and settled in Bartow county, within a mile of Cassville. He joined the church in that town, which was then named Beulali, He spent the first year in evangelistic labor in Chero kee Georgia, without fee or reward from man, but not without tokens of blessings from on high. The next tw r o years he held the pastorate of Beulah chu.ch on those annual calls, w’hich certainly have no precedent in the letter of Scripture, and which, to say the least of it, seem contrary to the Bible spirit. But iu 1839 the church called him without limit of time, and he served for twenty-one con secutive years. It w 7 as during this term of service that the Baptist denomination in the state was rent in twain by the anti-mission schism; and though, wiien that unhappy agitation began, there were members of the church warmly in favor of “the non-fellowship resolutions,” and of division, his influence availed to preserve harmony and peace. The labors of Mr. Crawford were not confined to Beulah church. He minis tered to other churches, far and near, and did much preaching at intermediate points, in private houses or in groves— wherever, in fact, be could gather a con gregation of his fellow-mortals about him. Such service, not unnecessary now was more needful then; for that was the period of the early settlement of Cherokee Georgia, and, amid the usual and unavoidable roughness of frontier life, there was great destitution of churches, and a sore famine of the word of God. These things stirred his spirit within him, and the desert blossomed as the rose under his hand. He had a pointed, concise style and deeply earnest spirit, when bringing the truth of God and the soul of man together. Not a district in all this section of country but has to-day many witnesses to the faithful ness and effectiveness with which he toiled as a herald of the cross. Not a church scarcely, unless of more recent origin, but will remember his ardent zeal and unflinching courage in her service; full surely not Cassville, nor Petit’s creek, (now Cartersville,) nor Borne, nor New Bethel, nor Enon, nor Raccoon creek, nor many others. Mr. Crawford was one of the prime movers in the organization of the Middle Cherokee Association and of the Chero kee Baptist Convention. He was the largest contributor to the Cherokee Bap tist college, located at Cassville; and was president of the board of trustees of that institution from its foundation to the burning of its buildings by United States troops in 1864. “Old, father Crawford,” as he was familiarly called by those who knew liim well and who loved him, passed a little over forty-seven long and useful years of his life in his native state, and a little over thirty-eight years in his adopted state, and he left behind him in both that memory which “smells sweet and blossoms in the dust."' When old ago came upon him, he grew of necessity, less active in the ministry, but he abated nothing of his in terest in the cause for which he had so long wrought and wept. At last, when no longer able to preach himself, it was his wont to call his neighbors together in bis own bouse, and have some one else to preach to them there. In his last illness, the preaching, at his request,was in his own room; and, as he listened to the precious truths of the gospel, his soul feasted, his heart rejoiced, his eyes over flowed with the comfort of the Holy Ghost. So death came to him less as an enemy, than in the form of an angel fresh from the presence of the Lord, and bringing something of the splendor of that presence with it. In what the poet pictures as “the Arch Fear,” he saw rather “the Gateway to Glory,” and stepped gladly through to be forever Avith the Lord. Beautiful life this; beautiful in its length; beautiful in the manner in which it was spent; beautiful in what in it ac complished: beautiful the example it left behind for those of us who yet linger on the shore. A PLAN OF CAMPAIGN AND A LEADER. Now that the official exponent of the Georgia Democracy has inaugurated a campaign, it becomes necessary for the party to take counsel as to a platform and a leader. For many years the Georgia Democra cy was looked to with great solicitude and interest. The party was strong, har monious, possessed of leaders of strong and practical sense. The cotton states of the south were content to follow’ the lead of Georgia. Opportunity is afford ed her to re-assume the proud position. It is safe to say that the Georgia de mocracy, iu common with the majority of the party iu the other states, will in sist upon the Cincinnati platform at Chicago, as embodying the best conserv ative sentiment of the party and as cal culated to bring about the most harmo nious action. The selection of a leader is likely to be j accompanied with greater difficulties. In 1 those days of booms and boomlets, when active politicians are largely controlled by their personal preferences, and press- Jes are subsidized by the tapping of “bari’s,” a wide divergence of opinion is manifested. Fortunately for the democratic party, the presidential candidate is indicated to some extent by the plan which promises success. Mr. Tilden was nominated in 1876 upon the idea that he could carry New York, the pivotal state, and that this, with the support of the solid south, Con neticut, New Jersy and Indiana, would secure his election. It w r as a plan as op posed to the suggestion that there was between the south and w’est a community ©f matoviiJ ©lid poKfiefcl int.puocfs The result vindicated the wisdom of the plan. The election really went to the democrats. It may be observed that Mr. Tilden, in the midst of the diplomatizing, dancing and sparring attributed to him by sundry reporters and politicians, has firmly adhered to the idea that the dem ocrats must nominate a man w T ho can carry New York. The republicans ad mit that it is the pivotal state—the real battle ground of the presidential cam paign. There will be 401 votes in the electo ral college. Of these 153 will be cast by the following southern states: Alabama, Arkansas, Delaware, Florida, Georgia, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maryland, Missis sipi, Missouri, South Carolina, North Carolina, Tennessee, Texas, Virginia and West Virginia. Besides these 153, tho democrats will need 48 votes to have a majority. The states which are counted as doubtful are New York, Ohio, Connecticut, Indiana, California and Nevada, having in all 91 votes. To this list the republicans would add New Jersey, with nine votes, although, it may be safely reckoned as democratic. In 1880, Nevada, Califor nia and New Jersey cast their electoral votes for Hancock. This year they will probably give their total of tw’enty to the democratic nominee, leaving twenty eight to secure. Ohio and Connecticut would supply these, with one to spare, or Ohio and Indiana, with ten to spare. But New York alone, with it thirty-six electoral votes, would elect the democrat ic candidate, and allow the loss of Ohio, Indiana and Connecticut, besides Cali fornia. If these figures may be relied upon, they show the absolute necessity for a leader who can carry the state of New York. It may be assumed that Mr. Tilden is an impossible candidate. His physical condition is an insurmountable barrier to any hope from him. Therefore, if the Georgia democracy proposes to enter the contest with a desire or intention and a hope to win, the time has come when it shall cast about for a leader who can meet the- conditions referred to Above.—Telegraph & Messenger. A Philadelphia man compels his daugh ter to eat onions every night for supper, and thus assures himself that he oan shut the house at 10 o’clock without locking in a strange man. “Are you keeping Lent?” inquired Mr. Greatheart of Mr. Simkins one day last Week. “Why certainly. I kept borrow ing until the seasons played out and now I’m keeping Lent.” Dispatches from Egypt all unite in praising the bravery of the Arabs. This is to be expected when it is remembered I that Arabs have the courage to marry 1 more than one wife. SAM BROWN. He Talks About Breaking up A Camp Meeting—Mad Dogs— Spring Weather. Etc., Eto- Long time ago the Methodists used to have some big camp-meetings iu South j Carolina. There was a large pine thick et out there called Mt. Zion. I never could see why a pine thicket should be called Mt. Zion, but this one was called : that, anyway. The people" built some j shanties around this place, and everv | year they would come for fifty miles to i the big camp-meetings. Asa general j thing they preached all day and nearly \ ail night. About daylight every morn ing the old bugle-horn would ring out on the mellow’ air and arouse every one from sleep. Then the preachers would take it turn about all daylong until dark, and then on and on until nearly daylight | again. These old camp-meetings were very large occasions; they were, certain. I Some folks w’ould come to get religion, some to show’ off their finery, some to i swap horses, some to get something good Ito eat, and some to do their courting. | (This is what I came for). There was one little preacher who "was considered a wheel-horse among the preachers, because he could holler loud er and last longer, than any of the rest. He was very high tempered—rather waspish like, and could beat a gipsy trading homes. One day lie cheated a sorter wildish kind of fellow mighty bad in a horse trade, and we boys teased the fellow a good deal about it. He got powerful sore over the little matter, and we considered, it wise to stop the teasing. Well, the next morning the little preach er took the stand early and selected for his text a passage of scripture that sounded sorter like “Rag-tag and bob tailed.” He preached and preached and preached, and kept on repeating his text until every one in the crowd learned it by heart. He got into a powerful weaving way and compared a young lady in love to a hollow pine sappling. The fellow what he had traded horses with said his sweetheart was better than fifty Metliodist preachers, and he was not going to put up with that thing much longer. He kept on getting madder and madder until he just couldn’t stand it any longer and he picked up a rock, let drive, and knocked the little old preach er clear out of the pulpit. You may not believe it, but that was the beginning of the biggest row I ever saw at a camp meeting; it was, certain. The people got to fighting all around me, and, for fear-1 might get hurt, I climbed a con venient pine sappling. The fellow what knocked the preacher out of the pulpit gathered up a chair and frailed into a crowd of niggers that were standing close by, and scattered them like black birds. These niggers were perspirating pretty freely—for it was powerful hot weather—and they were standing nearly under the sappling up which I had climbed. The chair was wagged fear fully fast, and little aromatic particles that were lighter than the air began to perambulate around my nose. It was right then that a riddle suggested itself to my mind: Why is a nigger like a rose? Ans. Because he is born to blush unseen. Again, why is a nigger not like a rose? Ans. Because he does not waste his fragrant sweetness on the desert air. This riddle was not thought of until I told it, and since that time lots of people have made out like they created it. But it is my riddle. I fath ered it, and I think I have a right to it; I do, certain. But going back to the subject, that row busted up the camp meeting; it did, certain. That little preacher what got knocked out of the pulpit fled the country. He said the people in that part of the country w T ere possessed of the devil, and ho was not going to try to get the devil out of them any more. I think that preacher acted very wisely; 1 do,certain. The papers all over the country are talking about mad dogs, and lam very much afraid that some blamed old mad dog will bite my dog Pup. A dog went mad when I lived in South Carolina, and it was the grandest sight I ever saw. The dog bit a pig, the pig bit a hen, the hen bit a duck, the duck bit a goose, the goose bit a calf, and the calf bellowed so loud until the people couldn’t sleep. The people armed themselves; some got guns, some pistols, some sticks, some fence rails, some buggy whips, and some broom handles. The country was scoured from one end to the other. At last the little old mad dog was found in Spears’ lield and killed. That was a good thing; it was, certain. I would ad vise my friends and neighbors to 101 l every mad dog they come across. It is a good plan. I wouldn’t have my dog, Pup, bit by a mad dog for five dollars. By the way, my friend Biles killed £ mad dog a few days ago. That was the best thiug he ever did in his life; it was, certain. Some people may like spring weather, but I don’t. It is the laziest weather in the world. I feel as lazy during the spring as Jim Milam is during the win ■ ter. Speaking of spring weather re minds me of a little incident what hap pened when I was living with old man Spears at the hatter’s shop. Spears’ daughter was going to a neighbor’s house one day, and on her way she met ' a fruit tree agent, who thought he would be mighty polite, and asked her if she didn’t think the weather was just t<x> nioe for anything. She snfiled .as sweet as she knew how, and he then remarked that vegetation was putting out power ful fast. She got pretty mad when he said that, but she was afraid to say any thing for fear she would make a mistake. When she got home sfie told me about it, and asked me if the fruit tree agent didn’t mean ticks and fleas when he stud vegetation. She said they were the only things w hat she knew’ that were putting out so powerful fast. I think that girl was about right, for if vegetation in early spring don’t mean ticks and fleas, it don’t mean anything. I went out hunting the other day, and I know there were a million ticks on hie when I got back home. The next day I sat down under Col. Byals’ barn shelter, and about ten times that many fleas pranced up my breeches legs. Some people may like ticks and fleas, but if there is any thing in the world that Ido despise, it is these here varmints what you call ticks and fleas. Death will find me yours. Sam Brown. SIFTED SBimiEBIXGS. Culled From the Four Points of the Compass And Spread OGt Before oor Readers —A water color exhibition: The stock maket. —Political Pressure: The candidate’sfer vent grip. —The “tramp, tramp, tramp,boys are marching. —A boom iu spanking is the most ur gent need of the day. —March, that most delightful month, actually blew’ itself out. —Cincinnati can now be considered the murderer’s Paradise lost. —A tememperance boom is sweeping over New Jersey. Apple-jack must go down. —The horrors of house cleaning now produce the usual crop of bad spring puns.” —Woman is called man’s best friend, probably because she often gets the best of him. —The Jersey mosquitos and summer boarding hous keepers, are sharpening up their bills. —The Chinese must go. San. Francis co had a shaking up by an earthquake last w’eek. —April showers have commenced and they will soon bring April flowers—“vio lets, blue violets!” —Mrs. Langtry has had hem elf photo graphed in “Peril.” She is in the act of falling over her feet, —“Tho art that conceals art,” as the thief remarked when he slid an expensive painting under his coat. —Easter is the time w r hen the liens are expected to cackle a round-de-lay. America expects every hen to do her duty. —“Oh, my!” exclaimed little Edith, upon her first entrance to the roller-skat ing rink; “they’re all on casters, ain’t they.” —An Indian brass band lias been formed in Montana and you may. as well be pre pared to hear of the linching of a lot of Indians. —ls the new publication which is de voted to electric matters to be classed under the head of light reading or flash literature? —“At the party last night I noticed you were a little too much like the toasts. ” “Why; how’ were the toasts?” “They W’ere drank!” —A medical journal speaks of “humor in the stomach. ” We suppose the pa tient had eaten some buns. Or some artijokes, maybe. —Proctor says that Jupiter i3 in the same state now that the earth w T as in 4,000,000 years ago. Let’s see, what state was that, Ohio? —A person who refuses to disclose his name has given Yale College $50,000 for a dormitory. It is possible that the do nor is an ex-policeman. —lt is to be hoped that Wiggins has predicted stormy weather for the remain der of the spring, as it is desire able to have a sunshiny May. —The numerous Ohio friends of Lynch law made a long-continued and most des perate effort a week ago to wipe out the Berner outrage on its majesty. —Now is Senator John Sherman’s op portunity. He should have an investigating committee look into the Cincinnati affair. Quite a number cf voters w r ere killed. —“What a shocking preacher our new minister is!” “Shocking preacher? Why I thought him very eloquent.” “Yes, so do I; electrifies his hearers, you know.” —“Ah !” sighed Brown, “this life is full of disappointments.” “Yes,” replied j Fogg, glancing significantly at Mrs. F., ' “and some disappointments are full of life.” —“You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink,” says the old saw. You couldn’t make some men drink, either, if you took them to a hy drant. —Ex-Senator Conk ling recently admit ted in court that “great men are liable to make mistakes.” The honorable gen tleman ought to know what he is talking about, NUMBER 50. —Somelxxly assorts that dead pul lie men should be let alone. This journal subscribes to that sentiment but will deal with their lives when occasion re quires. —lit is evident that leap year has com pletely demoralized oupid. Any way ; his name appears on the Brooklyn police court record on a charge of drunk enness. —A girl who elopes with a man named Pickles can hardly expect a sweet honey moon unless she understands the nmch ooveted art of extracting sunbeams from cucumbers. —The only man who has not heard of the Cincinnati riot is John Sherman. Ho is trying to make a riot at Danville, Ya., for himself and is completely absorbed by the effort. —A Chicago man has discovered a won derful force that is going to supplant the steam engine. It is probably a motive power caused by confining boarding house butter in a strong iron box. —lt won tbe very long before every married man will have a wife who can sew buttons on a shirt. In the public schools at Springfield, Mass., one of the studies taught is sewing on buttons. —lt is not so much the flattering of others that hurts us jus the flattery of self. Humau nature is apt to flatter it self on the flattery of others, which, if it was not the case.no harm would come of it. —Lord Gannoyle is called the “Freddy Gebhard of England.” Well this is too bad. Freddy may be n very naughty man but it seems like persecution to put him and Lord Gannoyle on the same list. " —Every woman has an undoubted right to a house, a husband and a half dozen babies—if she can get them. This is leap year, and if she don’t rnttke a vig orous jump after her rights she deserves to get left. —Georgia reports at least one lucky man. He sued a man for twelve thou sand dollars, won his case, collected his money and had seventy-five dollars left sifter settling with his lawyer. Some men are born lucky. —David Davis says that there is no economist like a careful wife. David has come to this conclusion since he discov ered that the beautiful awnings over his library windows had been made out of the backs of bis old vests. —A Toledo doctor takes strong grounds on the transmission of disease by kissing, forbidding callers to kiss any of bis children. Wait imtil your daught ers grow up, doctor, and then see how your cautions will operate. —Those contemplating picnicking in the woods this summer should not forget that there are ten thousand known species of beetles. With this variety every lady in the party can be given an excuse for climbing a tree and screaming. —“You should never say ride when you mean drive,” says and Englishman. “You oalv ride ou a horse; in any conveyance you drive.” Oh! you do, do you? Well, in this country" most of us keep a coach man to do the driving while we ride. —A boy in New York,last week dressed himself in his mother’s clothes and then hanged himself. He probably discovered that women’s clothes were no improve ment to a man’s appearance and so he concluded this world w-as no place for him to live in. —The romance is all taken out of the idea of running away from home when a hoy r who has done so has to work in a cotton field at sixteen cents a day, along with a lot of negroes. Such was the ex perience of a sixteen year old boy of New London, Conn. —A young man with a head like a calf’s, is on exhibition in Paris. Such a deformity is unfortunate, but there are, judging by their actions, lots of young men in the world with not only" a calf ’a head on their shoulders, but the head contains calf’s braius. —“Genius,” say T s Matthew Arnold “is mainly an affair of energy-.” Then sar castic people wiio have been caustically al luding to Mr. Sullivan as a Boston genius am’t so far out of the way after all. If Mr. Sullivan’s slugging match isn’t main ly an affair of energy, we don’t know what it is; —“How time flies,” remarked Mrs. Hustle as she was hurrying to get ready for the opera. “Yes,” remarked her husband, who had fallen into a drowse while waiting for her, “yes, it will soon be fly- time.” And now he can’t think what made his wife so crankey all the evening. —A Boston firm advertises a book of dialect poems, “written on the rail.” Dialect poets have accumulated so rapid ly within a few- years that we sue not surprised to hear that one of them has been ridden on a rail. He may consider himself lucky that he escaped the tar and feathers. —An Alabama paper complains that “the country is almost iitterally overrun with negro preachers, who are multiply ing by scores and hundreds. The colored brother instinctively takes to politics or preaching, the latter being the favorite calling by a large majority-.” Of course preaching is the favorite calling. There are more “yellow legged chickens”served to preachers than to politicians.