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VOLUME m. The Carters!! American. OFFICIAL ORGAN OF BARTOW CO. PUBLISHED EVKRY TUESDAY MORNING UY American Publishing Cos. CAKTBRBVILLE, UA, OFFIOEI Up Stairs, North-East Corner of West Main and Erwin Streets. AH communications or letters on business Should be add reseed to AMERICAN PUBLISHING (JO. Cartersvllle* tin. '^—=~rz r— 'J. 'i 1 ' TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION: One Year, Cush in Advance sl-50 Six Months, “ “ Three “ “ “ II not paid in 4 months, I2.UU per year. Papers sent outside ol the County, 15 cents additional for postage. RATES OF ADVERTISING: For each Square ol 1 inch or less, for the first in-ertion, fl.tJO; each subsequent insertion, 50 cents. Special contracts made lor larger space oi longer time. All contract advertisements must be paid quarterly. . . Local Notices, 20 cents per line lor the first insertion, and 10 cents lor each subsequent in sertion. Special Notices ten cents per line. Tributes of Respect and obituaries over aix lines, 10 cents per line. All personal cards i u Local Columns 2o cents per line. DIRECTORY. COURT CAtENDAB-CHBBOKEE CIR CUIT. J. C. Fain, Judge. J. W. Harris, Jr., Solicitor General. Bartow County—Second Monday in January and July. Catoosa County—Second Monday in February und August Murray County—Third Monday in February amt August. Gordon County—Fourth Monday in February and August. l ade County—Third Monday in March and September. Whitfield County—First Alonday in April and October. lIARTOW COUNTY COURT. G. S. Ttinilin, Judge. J. J. Conner, Sol. Gen. Geo. A. Howard. Clerk. J. G. Broughton, Bailiff. Quarterly Terms—First Monday in March, June, September and December. Monthly Term—First Monday in each month. JUSTICES COURTS. Times for holding Justices Courts in the dif ferent Militia Districts of Bartow county, Ga,: ( artersville— No. 822d.....5ec0nd Tue days, Adairsville “ 866th.... Fourth Fridays, Cassvilie “ 828th....second Fridays, Kingston “ 952d First Fridays, Euharlee “ 85l*t tsec’mi Satui days, Allatoona “ 819th.... Third Saturdays, Wolf Pen “ 1041st....fourth Saturdays, Stamp Creek " 96:$ l Third Saturdays, Sixth Disti ict “ 936th Fourth Saturdays Pine Log *• 827th.... First Saturdays. COUNTY OFFICERS. J. A. Howard,Ordinary. F. M. Durham, Clerk Superior Court. 11. W. Cobb,.Treasurer. John A. Gladden, Sheriff. A. M. Franklin, Deputy Sheriff. Hailey A. Barton, Tax Collector. W. W. Ginn, Tax Receiver. A. M. Willingham, Coroner. D. W. K. Peacock, Surveyor. Commissioners—S. C. Prichard, T. C. Moore, A. Vincent, John H. Wikie, T. S. Hawking. CITY OFFICERS. A. P. Wofford, Mayor. James 1). Wilkerson, Marshal. Geo. 8. Cobb, Clerk. B. R. Mountcastle, Treasurer. Aldermen—First Ward, J. C. Wofford, A. R. Hudgins: Second Ward, G. Harwell, W. H. Barron; Third Ward, John j.. Stover, Ulihu Hall; Fourth Ward, W. C. Edwards, Aaron Collin*. STANDING COMMITTEES. Street—Collins, Hudgins, Barron. Finance—Stover, Edwards, Wofford. Cemetery—Hudgins, Collins, Edwards. Public Hull—Hal], Wofford, Barron. Relief—Edwards, Barron, Harwell. CHURCH DIRECTORY. Methodist.—Pastor, Rev. J. B. Robins. Ser vices, every Sunday at) J, a. in., and 7:30, p. m. Prayei meeting, every Wednesday at 7:30, p. in. Sabbath School, c\£i*y Sunday at 9:30, a. in.; Jno. W. Aki-n, Bui®. Young men’s prayer meeting, every Thursday at 7:30, p. m. Baptist.—Pastor, Rev. F. M. Daniel. Ser vices, every Sunday at 10:45, a. in. and 7:15, p. m. Prayer meeting,every Wednesday at 7:15, p. m. Sabbath School, every Sunday at 9:30, a. in,; D. W. K. Peacock, Supt. Young men’s prayer meeting, every Blind yat2,p. m. Ser i ice of song, every Sunday at 3, p. m. Month ly conference, third Sundry ol each month at 3, p. n>, Pkksbytkkian.—Pastor, Rev. T. E. Smith. Services) even lint and third Sundays at 11, p. in, Sabb.ttii School, every Sunday at 9, a. m.; T. W. Milner, Supt. Prayer meeting, every Wednesday at 7:30, p. m. Episcopae. —Church of the Ascension. Min ister in charge. Rev. W. R. McConnell. Ser vices. every Sunday, except third in each month, at 11, a. m. Sabbath School, every Sun day at 10. a. m. Professional Cards. T. W. MILNER. J. W. H ARRIS, JR. HILLER A HARRIS, Attorneys-At-Law. Office over Howard’s Bank. Cartersviile, Ga. JOHN H. WIKLK. DOUGLAS WIKLK , WIKLE A WIKLK, Attorneys-at-Law & Real Estate Agents, Offices at Court House, and on Main Street , above Erwin, Cartersviile, Ga. ; OEOIIQE 8- JOHNHOST., Attoriiey-at-Eaw, Office, West Side Public Square, CARTERSVILLJE, GA. Will practice in all the Courts. A. M. FOUTE. W r ALTER M. RYALS. FOUTE A RYALS, AttorneySfAt-Ijaw. WILL PRACTICE IN ALL THE COORTS of this state. Prompt and laithlul at tention given to all business entrusted to us. Office, corner Main and Erwin Streets, up stairs. Cartersviile, Ga. J. M. NEEL. J. J. CONNER. W. J. NEEL. BREL, CONNER A KEEL, Attorneys-At-Eaw. WILL PRACTICE IN ALL THE COURTS of this state. Litigated cases made a specialty. Prompt attention given to all bus iness entrusted to us. office on Erwin Street, between Main and Market. Cartersviile, Ga. JAMES B. CONYERS, Attorney-at-Taw* Office Up-Stairs, Bank Block, Cartersviile, Ga Will practice in all the Courts of the Chero kee and adjoining Circuits, and in the Su trerne Court. Projnpt attention given to all usinm. Collect ions made a specialty. Railroads. KENNESAW ROUTE! WESTERN &ATLANTIC R. R. The following time card in effect Sunday, Dec. 30, IftKl: NORTH BOUND NO. 3—W ESTERN EXPRESS—DaiIy. Leave Atlanta 7 30 a. m Arrive Marietta 320 “ Cartersville 9 25 “ Kingston 9 5*2 “ Dalton.... 1123 “ Chattanooga 100 p. m. NO. I—FAST EXPRESS-Daily. Leave Atlanta 2 35 p. m. Arrive Marietta 3 27 *• Cartersville 4 29 “ Dalton 6 22 “ Chattanooga. 800 NO. 11-LIMITED EXPRESS—DaiIy. I.eave Atlanta 11 40 p.m. Arrive Marietta 12 39 a. in. “ Cartersville 1 48 " Dalton 3 44 “ Chattanooga. 515 Rome Express—North -Daily, except Sunday. Leave Atlanta 4 05 p. in. Arrive Marietta 3 00 “ Cartersville 6 03 “ Rome .. 7 *2O No. 1 carries Pullman cars from Atlanta to Louisville, Jacksonville to Cincinnati, New Orleans to Washington. No. 11 carries Pullman cars from Savannah to Chicago and Atlanta to Nashville. SOUTH BOUND. NO. 4-FAST EXPRESS. Leave Chattanooga 8 00 a. m. Arrive Dalton 9 33 ‘* Kingston II 16 “ Cartersville 11 4*2 “ Marietta I*2 46 p. m. Arrive Atlanta 1 45 NO. 2—SOUTHERN EXPRESS. Leave Chattanooga 2 55 p, in. Arrive Dalton 4 80 “ Kingston 602 “ Cartersville 6 31 “ Marietta 7 47 Arrive Atlanta 8 40 NO. 12—LIMITED EXPRESS—DaiIy. Leave Chattanooga 1015 p. m. Arrive Dalton 11 49 Cartersville 1 47 a. m. “ Marietta 3 50 “ Atlanta 340 Rome Express—South—Daily, Except Sunday. Leave Rome... 8 30 a.m. Arrive Cartersville 9 45 “ Marietta 10 49 “ Atlanta 11 45 No. 4 carries Pullman cars from Cincinnati to Atlanta, Washington, New Orleans, Louis ville to Atlanta. No. I*2 carries Pullman cars from Chicago to Savannah and Louisville to Atlanta. B. W. WRENN, Gcn’l. Pass. Agt. R. A. ANDERSON, Superintendent. EAST & WEST R. R. OF ALA. ON and after Sunday, Nov. 14, 1883, trains on this road will riin as follows: GOINu WEST—Daily, Except Sunday. no. 1. no. 3. Leave Cartersville 950 a. m. 430 p. m. “ Stilesboro 10 o*2 4 4*2 “ Taylorsville 10 37 5 17 “ Kockmart 11 10 5 50 Arrive Cedartown 12 00 6 40 GOING EAST—Daily, Except Sunday. NO. 2. NO. 4. Leave Cedar town 205 p. m. 715a. m. “ Rock m art 3 00 8 07 “ Taylorsville 3 35 8 39 “ Stilesboro 3 53 8 55 Arrive Cartersville 4 25 9 25 SUNDAY ACCOMMODATION—Going Eest. Leave Cedartown 8 00 a. m. " Stilesboro 8 52 “ Taylorsville 9 24 “ Kockmart 9 40 Arrive Cartersville. . ..1010 SUNDAY ACCOMMODATION—Going West. Leave Cartersville 2 50 p.m. “ Stileslioro 3 *2l “ Taylorsville . 3 37 “ Itockmart 4 10 Arrive Cedartown 5 00 ALABAMA DIVISION. Daily, Except Sunday. Leave East & West Junction 2 55 p. in. Arrive Broken Arrow 6 00 I.eave Broken Arrow 9 00 a. m. Arrive East & West Junction 1 15 p. m. ROME RAILROAD. The following is the present passenger schedule: no. 1. no, 3. Leave Rome.. 610a. m. 415 p. m. Arrive Kingston 855 - 530 no. 2. no. 4. Leave Kingston 920a. m. 555 p. ni. Arrive Rome 10 25 a.m. 650 no. 5. Leave Rome 8 00 a. m. Arrive Kingston 9 00 no. 6, Leave Kingston . 9 20 a. m. Arrive Home 10 10 Nos. 1,2, 3 and 1 will run daily except Sun days. Nos. 5 and 6 will run Sundays only. Nolwill not *lop at the junction. Makes close connection at Kingston for Atlanta and Chattanooga. No. 2 makes connection at Rome with E. T. Va. & Ga. It R., for points south. lIIIKN HILLYER, President. J. A. SMITH, Gen’l. Pass. Agent. IF YOU ARE GOING NORTHWEST on SOUTHWEST. BESURE Your Tickets Head via the F., C. & St. L. Ey. The McKon zie R oute The First-clans and Emigrant Passengers FAVORITE! Albert B. Wrenn, W. I. Rogers, Pas. Agent, Pas. Agent, Atlanta, Ga. Chattanooga, Tenn. W. L. DANLEY, Gen. Pas. & Tkt. Agent, Nashville, Tenn, EISEMAN BROfe MANUFACTURING CLOTHIERS & TAILORS r>3 WHITEHALL STREET, ATLANTA, GEORGIA (ARTERSVILLE, GEORGIA, TUESDAY, JUNE 10, 1884. ; The Cartersville American. Entered at the Post Office at (Jartersville , (Ja., May W/t, ISB2, as second class matter. T IJEBD AY, J UNE 10, 18S4. SAM BROWK. He Talks About Dave Taff and Nat Camion Fishing on Sunday, &c. Fislting is mighty nice sport. T love to fish; T do, certain. Several years ago ; 1 used to li] i a good deal on Raccoon creek. Now, it' there are ftsh anywhere in the world, Raccoon creek certainly has some. I used to live about two miles and a half from the best fish-hole in the world. There was a large bluff-like rock what extended out over this hole. Upon this rock 1 was accustomed to sit at night I and draw* in the prettiest, nicest, round- I est and fattest perch and bream and cat- I fish and trout in the world. The tttiles ' boro boys thought there was nothing like being allowed to fish in this hole (That I always kept baited with red-eyed worms. Nat Cannon and Dave Taff j were the most anxious boys to go a fish i iug with me one Sunday night I ever I saw in my life. It was on the 28th of j May about eight years ago, "Well, I | first asked my old woman if she cared. J She said no, if we would only wait until Monday night. We all faithfully prom ised to wait until Monday night, and so the thing was settled. But Dave Taff called me oft' to one side and said that he nevty did have any luck fishing, except wiieu he went on Sunday, and then ( he looked at me so sweet and begged me so hard that I promised to let him and Nat Cannon go to my fish-hole that night. Of course I couldn’t get off from my old woman, so I w’as compelled to stay at home. Dave and Nat fixed up tlieir tackle and worms and light and started out about 9p. m. - The night was powerful dark. It was thick cloudy and drizzling rain. I told them to turn the light dowrn very low when they got to the fish-hole, as fish don’t bite W’ell when a light is shining on the bank. They slipped off proud and happy, w’liile my old woman consoled herself by thinking they had gone to church. I sat down on my front porch and smoked my pipe and ruminated on pro found thoughts. When the clock struck half past ten, I got up and went to my old woman’s room. She was snoring away like a Tennessee coni sheller. This satisfied me that she must be asleep. I put on a pair of cavalry boots what my brother-in-law, Steve Saggus, pulled ofi' of a dead yankee at the battle of the Wilderness, and sneaked off to the fish hole. T slipped along powerful easy so I could get up to where Dave and Nat were without their knowing it. This I accomplished just as nice. They had caught a string of fish about three feet long. Their light was turned down until it was nothing but a pale lit tle flicker. They were squatting down on their ankles and feet close up to the edge of the water, what was about twen ty-two feet and three and one-half inches deep. I crawled up behind thbm as noiselessly and as softly and as gently as a vernal zephyr moves through a beauti ful flower garden. Their souls were filled with sweet thoughts and lovely ru minations; my mind was occupied by cogitations direful and despicable. Right onward I crept until I was close up be hind them. Strong and steady hands were placed at the middle of their bod ies; and, without warning, they were precipitated more quickly than thought, head-foremost, into the uninviting and cruel fisli-liole. So skillfully and quick ly was it done, that they knew not who or what did it. I seized the string of fish and went home as quickly and as noiselessly as I had come. I hid the fish and went to bed. For two or three hours I dreamed. I dreamed of death, that black and cruel monster. It was an awful dream! Methought that, “With the year Seasons return; but not to me returns Day, or the sweet approach of even or morn, Or sight of vernal bloom or summer’s rose” —I was dead! Perhaps I would have dreamed something else, but at that mo ment a gentle rap at my door broke the charm—l was alive and awake. I opened the door, and in crept Dave and Nat, looking like sick monkeys in a third rate circus. Dave wore a fox trot smile, while a dripping little dish-rag smile was rippling over Nat’s sharp nose. I ex pressed my most sincere sympathies for them, rubbed them down as well as I could with an old guano sack, gave them some dry clothes and put them to bed. Tliev seemed to be very low spirited,and said they would not take it so hard, if they only knew what it was that caused them both to jump off into the hole at the same time, and also what had become of tbeir string of fish. I did not offer any explanations, but advised them to go to sleep. The next morning we had fish for breakfast in bountiful profusion. Dave and Nat looked at me in a curiously sus picious manner. I told them that I went down to see how they were getting along, and when I got in about twenty five steps of the fish hole, they botli seemed to be dreadfully frightened, and, at the same instant, plunged off into the water; that I ; thinking they were en- j deavoring to commit suicide or were i simply bathiug, had taken the fish and brought them home. Until this good day, these two estima ble young men stoutly believe that it was the hand of Providence what threw ' them into the water; and neither of them would fish again on Sunday for a thousand dollars; they wouldn’t, certain. Smilingly Yours, Sam Brown. THE MAINE LIQIUR LAW. There having been a good deal said about tin l Maine liquor law not prohib iting the sale of liquor in that state, a citizen of this place wrote to a gentle man at the capitol of that state to as certain the facts in the premises. He | received a reply which we publish be low. It is written by an official of the Maine Insane Hospital, who is in a po | sitiou to know the workings of the law as well as any man in the state. The fair anil impartial manner in which the ; writer states the ease, shows that lie is conscientious in what he says. While jhe says most emphatically that “the Maine liquor law has done a great work for the people,” lie admits that it is vio lated in some locations. After the peo ple of that state adopt the constitutional amendment to which he refers, it may be expected that the traffic will be com pletely suppressed. As he truthfully says, all criminal laws are violated—if they were never violated we would have no use for criminal courts. It is con tended that some men tvill have intoxi cating drinks at all hazards. We admit that, and we believe that there are men who would walk to Atlanta, with a jug strapped to their back, to get it, rather than do without it. But that class is very small. The great object of prohi bition is to remove the temptation from the youths of The country, who have not contracted the terrible habit of drinking. Augusta, Maine, May 28, 1884. * * * Dear Sir: —The question to which you refer is one of vital impor tance to the people of tliis country, and one to which the better classes are giv ing much sober though!. Asa son of Maine, I am proud to say, “The Maine Liquor Law” has done hi grand work for her people. Times have changed in the last thirty-five years. * The time was when every grocer sold rum as freely as he did tea or tobaoco, and a man was thought none the less of for selling* or drinking liquor. I have before me a bill, a copy of which I wifi inclose, show ing the business of a small country gro cer. You will notice thatjhe was selling eight barrels per month, and lie the smallest dealer out of six in a small vil lage. Boston, August 1, 1850. Mr. L. P. bought of Joshua Sears four barrels N. E. rum, 43, 41 J, 41 38—102 Gals.. 20 cts. $42.12. Boston, August 10, 1850. Mr. L. P. bought of Joshua Sears four barrels N. E. rum, 40, 411, 40’., 40—174 Gals., 20’, ets. $10.30. The Maine law has elevated the morals of the people, decreased crime, pauper ism and insanity, and were the people to vote upon its repeal, it would be vo ted by an overwhelming majority—not to repeal. To say that the law prohibits the sale of liquor in all places and at all times, would not be true. We have laws against murder, arson and thieving, yet all are violated. But the man who sells liquor in Maine to-day, with a few ex ceptions, which T will hereafter name, is obliged to do so in some old shed, un der some o’d house, or peddle it out in bottles, and then in a very sly, mean way. When you find a town where pub lic sentiment is against the sale of liquor, there you will find the officers doing tlieir duty and liquor hard to be found. There are a few places in this state (I am sorry to say) where the officers do not do their duty, public senti ment is not against the liquor traffic, where it is sold quite openly, but I hope to see those places soon closed. This fall we are to vote upon the con stitutional prohibitory amendment, and I expect to see it adopted, prohibiting forever the manufacture and sale of in toxicating liquors. I rejoice that your people are waking up to this question, and trust" you may live to see the accursed stuff (alcohol) I driven from your state. Very Respectfully, R. W. Soule. BARTOW COrSTY. I have received from Miss Virginia Brandon, one of Bartow’s most sterling young ladies, a communication offering me specimens of silk, manufactured by herself, for exliibition at New Orleans. A. P. Wofford, esq., Col. T. W. Mil ner, Col. C. M. Jones, C. A. Milner, esq., and others have promised speci mens of iron ore and ochre. Miles G. Dobbins, esq., lias promised specimens of manganese. Capt. Shelman lias prom ised specimens of small fruits preserved in alcohol. Col. Milner and others have promised samples of field crops—and so the good work goes on. Those desiring to make contributions to the World’s Industrial and Cotton j Centennial Exposition, at New Orleans, ! can get all the information they may j desire by calling on me at the office of Messrs. J. J. Howard & Sou, bankers, Cartersviile, Ga. D. W. K. Peacock. County Com, YANDERBILT OX THE SOUTH. Hr Regards it *s the Bft Field for Cotton md Iron Mannfaetfiring. London, June 4.— Mr. Vanderbilt was waited on by a deputation of English ship builders and cotton manufacturers, who wished information front America’s money king, regarding manufacturing prospects in the United States. Mr. Vanderbilt received the delegates in the most courteous manner, and seemed anxious io impart to them desired infor mation. He expressed great confidence in the future of the southern states, as where the cotton and iron manufacturing industries will be most profitable. He refers to the wonderful growth of Atlan ta and the enterprise of its people, The coming centennial cotton exposition at New Orleans which he urged British manufacturers to visit and witness for themselves the products and resources of America in miniature. Mr. Vander bilt recommends the states of Florida, Alabama and Georgia as desirable states for the manufacture of the finer cotton fabrics, and the gulf ports of New Or leans, Pensacola and Mobile for ship building yards, and where property can now be bought at lower rates than ever again in the future. The certainty of America’s again becoming a great mari time power, Mr. Vanderbilt believes is an assured fact. He urges the British shipbuilders to establish ship yards at the gulf ports, and prepare for work which will surely come to them in the near future.— Constitution . From the foregoing it will be seen that the English people are anxious on the subject of manufacturing, and a deputation waited on and required of Mr. Vanderbilt in regard to the pros pects of manufacturing in the United States. Mr. V. in reply gives informa tion and recommends the states of Floii da, Alabama and Georgia as being the states for the business of ship building and the manufacture of iron and cotton, and recommends that they come over and attend our Industrial and Cotton Centennial Exposition at New Orleans next fall and see for themselves. New England, the north and Europe all have their eyes turned to the south as the coming country for manufacturing. And I ask, shall we throw ourselves on an ease and make no effort to take ad vantage of this state of affairs ? I am sure many, very many, capitalists will be there to see the products of our country, and I am very anxious to have something there for them to see. D. \V. K. Peacock, County Com. TIIE TRAGEDIAN BOOTH AND THE LORD’S PRAYER. A friend tells us an anecdote of Booth, the great tragedian, which we do not recollect having seen in print. Booth and several friends had been invited to dine with an old gentleman in Baltimore, of distinguished kindness, urbanity and piety. The host, though disapproving of theatres and theatre-going, had heard so much of Booth’s remarkable powers that curiosity to see the man had, in this instance, overcome all his scruples and prejudices. After the entertainment was over, lamps lighted, and the compa ny retreated in the drawing room, some one requested Booth, as a particular fa vor, and one which all present would doubtless appreciate, to read aloud the Lord's Prayer. Booth expressed his willingness to do this, and all eyes were turned expectantly upon him. Booth rose slowly and reverently from his chair. It was wonderful to watch the play of emotions that convulsed his countenance. He became deathly pale, and his eyes, turned tremblingly up ward, were wet with tears. As yet, he had not spoken. The silence could be felt. It became absolutely painful, till, at last, the spell was broken, as if by an electric shock, as his rich-toned voice, from his white lips, syllabled forth: “Our Father which art in Heaven,” etc,, with a pathos and solemnity that thrilled all hearers. He finished. The silence continued. Not a voice was heard or a muscle mov ed in his rapt audience, till, from a re mote corner of the room, a subdued sob was heard, and the old gentleman, their host, stepped forward, with streaming eyes and tottering frame, seizing Booth by the hand. “Sir,” said he, in broken accents, “you have offered me a pleasure for which my whole future life will feel grateful. lam an old man; and every day, from my boyhood to the present time, I thought I had repeated the Lord’s prayer, but I have never heard it before—never!” “You are right,” replied Booth; “to read that prayer as it should be read has caused me the severest study and labor for thirty years, and I am far from being yet satisfied with my rendering of that wonderful production. Hardly one per son in ten thousand comprehends how much beauty, tenderness and grandeur can be condensed in a space so small, and in words so simple. That prayer of itself sufficiently illustrates the truth of the Bible, and stanq>s upon it the seal of divinity.”—Ex. The character of the binding of books does not always make any difference, but that of most new volumes of poems, to be appropriate, should undoubtedly be half-calf, THE CITY MARSHAL'S PERSIA DF.R. When Ben Thompson, the desperado, was city marshal of Austin, an advertis ing agent was seen by him painting an advertisement of some patent medicine on the outside of a corner grocery. Ben, having l>een informed that the man had not first obtained the owner’s consent, ordered him to erase it immediately. The painter protested that be had per mission to paint the sign, hut Ben was not to be trifled with. Drawing forth liia “six,” he thundered; “Five minutes to take'it off.” And it was off before five minutes had expired. About the time the painter had finish ed erasing his work the owner of the store appeared, and, seeing the situation of things, informed Thompson that the advertiser had obtained his consent to paint the sign. Thompson apologized to the man of paint and told him he might repaint the sign. The fellow said he believed he didn’t care to. Again came forth Ben’s deadly weap on, ajihe said: “Five minutes to put it up again.” And he put it up. — ♦ ♦ TURNED TOO MANY PAGES. Three or four miles out of East Point, Ga., a negro was taken very sick a few weeks ago. A brother of color, who had bought himself a cheap medical treatise, ! volunteered to cure him for four bushels of sweet potatoes. He had not doctored him over three days, however, before the patient was cold in death. A white doctor living in the town happened to be passing and was called in. When he had tasted the medicine, which was in a gal lon jug, he asked: “What disease did you doctor for?” “Poll-evil, sail.” “What! Whoever heard of a man having the poll-evil? That is a horse disease. ” The other at once opened his book to page 79, and said: “Reckon you’ll find it right dar, sah.’ “Yes,” said the doctor, as he thumbed the leaves over, “but the diseases of man are not found in this department. Tliis is headed ‘Ailments of Live Stock.’” “Fo’ de Lawd!” gasped the negro, as he snatched the book and hurriedly turn ed the leaves, “fo’ de Lawd! if I didn’t turn over five pages too many! I meant to hit him fur consumption an’ billyus fever!” RUNNING a LOCOMOTIYE. To run an engine a man must feel his responsibility and keep his head level. I don’t believe half the people know what it is to run an engine. Now, there’s the machine; that’s the first thing, and it has to be in good order, and stay so. A lo comotive has to stand wear and tear and weather tliat’d knock a stationary engine into smithereens. And no matter what emergency rises freezing of pipes, or starting of flues, a loosening of packing, or heating of journals—we’ve got to know just what to do, and do it right quick, too; then when we’re running there’s the time-cards and pretty often a new one; and the train orders—they are life and death ami reputation to us, and to read ’em correct and live up to ’em gives us no end to anxiety. But I’ve read a train, order over a dozen times in an hour—l am always so afraid of mak ing a mistake or forgetting. You know the consequences of even a little mistake, sometimes. Then there’s the signals to watch, the conductor’s gong overhead, steam to keep up, time to make, whistle-posts and crossings to look out for, bad spots in the road to be careful on, and along with all this there’s the track ahead of ye which yonr eyes mustn’t leave for rnore’n five seconds. There’s the brakes, too —one is always worrying about them. I don’t s’pose everybody knows, either, that we have to be mighty careful when we come to the top of a grade. You see in going up she labors hard, and so as soon as she begins to descend she makes a rush, and there’s the danger of breaking your train when the rear cars are still dragging on the up-grade. This danger is especially great on freights, but no good engineer fails to shut off some of his steam when his engine reaches a summit. It isn’t every fool can run a locomotive, I tell you. DO PEOPLE READ ADVERTISEMENTS* Hear what the Philadelphia Times, the most prosperous of all that city’s journals, says: “The Times has been published for nine years, and its advertising patrons are among the oldest and best business houses of Philadelphia and other cities. It has passed tlirougli periods of de pression and disaster and recorded many failures. But it has yet to record the first prominent failure of a liberal and systematic advertiser, who have as a rule, prospered in nearly exact propor- j tiontion to the measure of their adver- , rising. These facts prove, that judicious ad vertisements are read by the people, and that judicious advertising is the cer tain method of advancing legitimate bus iness and multiplying its profits. Some of the business houses in the large cities employ the very best talent to write their advertisements —men who under stand the fundamental principle of ad vertising. Articles cannot be sold above their market value by advertising, but they can be sold at just the right time, just when they should be disposed of, by presenting them in the freshest and most artistic manner,” NUMBERS. CHAFF. A nice, light business—the gas man’s. The most courted belle—The dinner : bell. The Egyptian injunction—“ Mummy's the word.” The early lunch fiend catches the sandwich. A good name for a second in a prize fight—Backus. The undertaker finds his labor stiff work very often. “The latest thing in ladies hoee”—a pretty foot and ankle. Query—Can the father of a dwarf be regarded as a short-heired man? The detectives are notified that there are a number of congressmen-at-large. If a married couple avoid the first quarrel they will never have a second. When a man is so intoxicated he can not walk straight, then he is reel tight. Why is soap grease like a song and dance artist? Because it appears in the olio. “Bucket-shops” are probably so-called because they make their customers turn pale. Jennie—“Wha*; is a dude?” “Well, a dude is a 50-cent man in a SSO suit of clothes. ” Is it proper for an old toper to speak of his drunken companion as his booze um friend? Why is it that editors who “prefer a pipe to a cigar” make a specialty of ac cepting cigars? Physicians should not be afraid to cross the ocean because they are used to sea sickness. If a doctor says you owe your -life to him never employ him any more. He may collect his bill. “How’s your cold?” she asked. “I don’t know,” he whispered, “I’m not on speaking terms with it.” The seaside resorts may not be very religious places, but those who go there can see the oceans ’pray. Clocked stockings should never be worn by watchmen, as they are never ou hand, and often run down. Good weigh to get rich —calling four teen ounces a pound. [Unknown ex change. We call it bad—very bad. Women’s clubs are becoming quite an institution out west. Every woman who owns a drunken husband ought to have one. The difference between a minstrel joke and a product of Pittsburg is prob ably this: One is real stale and the other’s steel rail. It is a laughable spectacle to see a near-sighted dude mistake the waving of the ear of a mule across the street for a girl flirting with him. We quite disremember the first co nundrum propounded in the bible; but we think it was something about Jonah, and the w T hale gave it up. The man who prides himself ou al ways speaking his mind is the first one to kick when he finds anybody else ex ercising the same privilege. A woman always carries her purse in her hand, so that other women will see it, a man carries his in his inside pocket, so that his wife won’t see it. An Ohio man suing for a divorce, charges his spouse among other crimes and misdemeanors, with having a big bustle and a deceitful tongue. Notwithstanding the fact that Phila delphia possesses one doctor to every three hundred and fifty of its population, the city is remarkably healthy. A Kentucky paper is responsible for the statement, that the grandmother of the bride, at a wedding in Covington re cently, officiated as bridesmaid. This summer ladies are going to wear their hair as they did three hundred years ago. What ! We never imagined that ladies ever grew to be that old. The innocent iceman now lays awake nights trying to figure out how he will be able to make a ten pound lump have the cheery look of a twenty-pounder. The young woman who bites her fin fier nails and kisses her pug dog on the nose would fall in a stony faint at seeing her father nip a piece off the butter lump with his own knife. “Have you heard of the Valley of Babyland?” asks Ella Wheeler. Yes, we have, Ella; but what we are particu larly anxious to know is whether there is a path that goes around it anywhere? It is noteworthy that it is always “the politicians” who secure the delegates for the successful candidates; “the people” are on the side of the fellow that doesn’t get the delegates. It is funny that it occurs that way. A San Antonio paper says that ladies are insulted in the streets by young gen tlemen. Bather singular conduct on the part of young gentlemen, but when a j gentleman is intoxicated he is no longer himself. That may explain the mystery. A boy baby wuth three legs is reported at Albany. Now what on earth does a boy want of three legs? It will cost more for boots, shoes and pants, and then there is a fair prospect of the boy becoming a chronic kicker. There ia, how’ever, some hope of the boy being able to win a long distance walking match, as he can always have an extra leg to bring into use while one of the 1 others is resting.