Newspaper Page Text
Cnvtersbilk' a Amevicnit,
VOLUME 111.
SAM BROWN.
THE DRY WEATHER AFFECTS
HIS ELECTIONEERING
propensities—He is Severely Repri
manded for His Folly, and Re
tires Gracefully.
j- '* "* ■*■*> Vti
priendsj I coma not befoTe the public
to talk. _ fptt, kncrtr too yep how I love
modesty,.nqt boasting. The bright sun
() f promise rose-ylfke. a meteor
for me- —in -*fW • -eoroner business,
but this little dry weather business, what
didn’t afford any moisture at all, just
made me right tiled, and while in this
weary mood, my electioneering feathers
were all shed-shed ere their prime.
My proudly arched neck has resumed its
/joiinal tbveetioH. The widely distended
nostrils, through which I snillied so much
battle and glory, have collapsed. Those
ecstatic night dreams, in which I beheld
beatitlc visions of myself sailing high up
above the heads of my worthy compeers
#ad competitors,and,in which I seeihed to
feed upon the ambrosia of the gods and
to bavq as my associates the prettiest
and plainest little goddesses that ever
flattered their wings ovey the topmost
peak of high Olympus—these night
dreams, I repeat, have passed away, and
forever. They lrave flitted back into
the inevtvrable jMwt, not to be brought
to the ftrutitjtnjf nir>tt\
When the democracy of Bartow county
first nominated me, a strong and burn
ing ambition seized me in its awful
clutches. Instead of resisting the tempt- '
tng bait in the begii.ing, I gracefully
yielded, and was violei tlv swept a Way
in this ordinarily fatal, political Tfnrte
ntrom. For some weeks everythin-/
moved h>Hr. -wel'Aiu.d merrily and
l rilliaiitK as a nr .rmgtfT T lifarTi life, aik
I c aid see ho- or H.-ni \ e ay perch ul
upon every lim -of evmy Tree*busti*H and
sbruh, Upon every a-ntoprwf, upoc every f
corn stalk and cot to t boll, upon every- ■
thing, i.i fact, what can hold enough!
honor nul glory to satisfy a gnat. The
whole World, with an oilf and smooth
accord, seemed to be striving to m dee me
a hero, and oh, how bud I wanted to be
c>me a G. WHaeL.gtrfh'-dr Bob' To-nibs
hero! Don’t yon knmv it would be nice?
But, alas, man lroiyv of woman is given
to minfljfe and sore disappointment
-he is small potatoesTarief few in the hill
—he riseth up in the morning and goetli
forth, as lie thinketli, to honor and glory,
hut he returneth at night feeling like
a hhimed fool; he does, certain.
Well, I was progressing - handsomely, {
I was making reputation for myself and ,
reflecting honor and credit on my friends !
and party. I was whooping up the politi
cal business powerful well,
when a gentle wind wafted to
the keen ears of my old woman the j
information that her dear husband, her j
pride and her love, her glory and her J
honor and her mainspring, her magnetic
needle, her morning star, her darling,
was a politician. Till that moment al]
was joy *and peace and sunshine at my
house. Sometimes I felt a little tired
ot the weak piping time of peace, and
longed for the stern alarum, the tented
field, the bristling broadside, the boom- i
iag muffe o£ ikft cannonade, ~thw j
tail of the musketry, the slash of the ;
crossing steel. I would sometime
snatch up the Atlantal >Brittttio*r *ml
greedily read some - new taler'.of battle
aud blood. Then, with feelings, ftped
lap to fever rush iorth,
| with Pup at my heels, closely to scan
| every brier patch or clump of bushes to
j Slid a rabbit or bird to kill.
I(>ne waning I went home from Car-
Sras nS& alid svtoef,
and my prospects never seemed to me to
l>e brighter. My old woman was stand
ing on the front porch waiting for me.
She dii. nt)fc look boisterous or make a
noise. Jgat her eyes, gleamed forth a
was indicative tome
of war and strife,or, if you please, a first,
class, private lecture. Currying me to
the rear or the smoko bouse; she sat me
down upon an old chunck of pine and
th*s began: “I grieve, I blush, to con
fess it, but the truth itf fiat tuJic domed.
Sam, it is time for you to meet it. At
this very moment yon arc a nominated
caudidalQ for the office of
coroner, o| Par tow county. You
1 have already Tit' oitt upon a sciv> daldfisly
I aggressive political campaign. It is
I* about to demoralize your good charaC.
ter, ana it is fust demolishing your fair
S came. Against dndulgeiice ..of. this
I shameful spirit of which you have bo
I come possessed, I desire to enter my
I laost i Luohutic, raw most eamtwt pro-
test. And in doing ao I shall not pause j
to cull the dictiqdaryH for/thd blandest
phrases, >o exjj(|ess thejps’&'ongmeamng
1 intend to utter! and the strong feeling*-,
that prompts ik
“Sir, I look upon your candidacy with
fi n abhorrence end disgust, equalled in
degree only by. my. con tempt-for you for
Woopingr tq touch it. J cannot conceive
the possibility how any rightly constitut
ed miud can regard it with any other
feeling, Not fo of the loathing a
man of high moral character should ex
perience when contemplating such con
duct as you have been guilty of, and in
| of the utter condemnation
j *hick reli|;i^igi)ronoU’uieta fl pofl it* it ftp*
j pears equally detestable and despicable
on the application to it of the far lower
standard even of common morality and
common sense. I might perhaps for
give the enormity of your wickedness,
were it not for the stupidity of your
folly.”
1 could stand it no longer, tmt drop
pod upon my knees and begged her for
giveness. I made more promises in
about three minutes than I can keep in !
twenty-five years. I swayc-d two and
fro like a tender reed shaken by a oy
-rlone; Slier -said she hud dioped that I
had Some sense. I told her that she
had better wish I had as many dollars
as I had sense, and that I wa: - fooled in
to the blamed thing by an enthusiastic
constituency, She said she would
not give her old wash-tub for the whole
°f my good-for-nothing constituency,
and then she ordered me, under threat ;
of another tongue lashing, if I failed to
obey her, to write a letter of declination
to the people of Bartow county.
O, ye voters of Bartow county, I have
stood upon the Grampian hills of old
north Georgia and calmly fed my flookj
I have plowed and hoed and eltopped
wood and split rails, until I felt like I
was ready to snap the thongs that bind
me to this mundane sphere; I have
whipped niggers and yankies and eaten
mule for cow, but I must not be coroner
of Bartow county.
Yours in humility.
Bam Brown. j
BLAINE AS A LIAS.
Only the other duy we called the at
tention of our readers to the fact that the
republican campaign committee had es
tablished a liranoh-office in Nashville,
><;id"lh;tf thomo-veinef t had Keen empha
sized by a chcul-ir letter addressed l<
the s< lit her. people. That circular was
ii the nature <-f a trie dly appeal to the
aim ill to. vote for Brother, Biaie, ami
the text and oasis of the whole affair was
an extract from an address of the repub
lican candidate for the preside cy, in
•which he spoke in warm terms of disap
proval if the spirit of sectionalism• -so
freque tlv i .voked by republican orators
a ia Caiupaig. ers.
O.; that occasion, Brother Blaine re
marked: “If there he occasional a; and vi
olent out- 'i;e.ik in the south agdnsi tins
peaceful progress, the public opi ion of
the country regards them as exceptional,
and hopefully trusts that each will prove
the lash” This remark was made bv
Blaine in July last, and, so far as our
knowledge extends, nothing has occurred
to change his opiuion. Certainly there
has been no change in the south. We
have heard of no recent “outbreaks;” in
deed the only affair approaching a riot or
in the direction of lawlessness is that at
which republican deputy marshals play
ed so prominent a part in Cincinnati.
But in the course of a failing campaign,
it has become necessary for Brother
Blaino to tell some lies about the south,
and it is unnecessary to inform our read
ers that he performs this paramount du
ty of a professional republican with a
jsest that shows he is in his native elc- i
ment, and that he enjoys it. In July
last, Brother Blaine declared that the
public opinion of the country was in a
state of repose, justified by the condi
tion of affaire in the south, but now he !
is going around the country declaiming
against the south in a very fierce man
ner, announcing that this section is try
ing to make arrangements to seize the
government and turn the hands of pro
gress back.
/We are not at all sorry that Brother
Blaine is engaged in this business. It
emphasizes the fact that he is a conti
nental liar —the truth not being in him—
and it also makes patent to the honest
voters of the country the desperate
straits to which the party of corruption
has been driven in this campaign. Broth
er Blaiuo is capering around as though
his chances were hopeless, and this sig
nificant fact is cause for congratulation.
Let honest men stand together. There
is every prospect that the rascals will be
liu-ned ont in November, and that the
liars .will be kept out. A democratic vic
: tory will be a great victory for the conse
of honest government.—Constitution.
Vtßapatbfriog It Ith Poor Old \ auiferMlt.
* * ~
I learn with much sadness that Mr.
William H. Vanderbilt’s once prn celv
fortu-ue has shriveled down to $150,000,-
000. This piece of information conies
to me like a clap of thunder out of a
clear sky. Once petted, fondled and ca
ressed, William H. Vanderbilt, shorn of
his wealth, and resting upon no founda
tioir but hiß sterling integrity, must
struggle along with the rest of us. * * *
Tn conclusion, I do not know what to
sav, unless it bo to appeal t
the newspaper men of the country in
Mr. Vanderljlt’s behalf. While he was
wealthy he want'proud and arrogant.
He said: “Let the newspapers be blank
f-tY blanked to blank,’’or words to that
effect, but we do not ewe for that. Let
us forget all that and remember that life
sad fate may some day be our own. I
our affluence let us not lose sight of the
fact that Van is suffering. Let us se
Cure a place for him on some good pa
per. His grammar and spelling area
little bit rickety, but-he Could begin as
janitor and gradually work his way up.
Parties having clothing or funds whici.
they feel like giving may forward the
aamo to me at Hndmm, Ww po.tpa.d,
ftud if the clothes do not -fit \an the}
may possibly fit me. Hill Nye,
CARTERSVILIE, GEORGIA, TUESDAY, OCTOBER 28, 1884.
GEORGIA.
HER MANUFACTURING INTER
ESTS EXPANDING
A Brief Statistical Account of Her
Spindles, Iron Furnaces —Capi-
tal Invested, etc., etc,
We give the following interesting fig
ures from the Augusta Chronicle and
Constitutionalist showing the wonderful
growth of Georgia industries! ‘ ~ ~
In 18-30 Georgia had 1,800 manufact
uring establishments, standing fifth in
l ank. In 1870 she lias grown to 3,855
establishments in spite of the diastrous
effects of the war. Georgia, in increase,
leaped from the fifth to the third plaee
in rank in number of establishments, be
ing only led by Kentucky and Virginia.
But in extent of increase, Georgia led
the whole south, her growth running
from 1,890 to 3,866, or 1,965 —over 100
per oont. increase. Kentucky grew from
2,450 to 5,390, or 1,940, being 25 per
cent, less than Georgia. While her per
centage of increase was under 50 per
cent., Georgia’s was over 100. Virginia’s
increase was only 548, or a little over 10
per cent. North Carolina fell off in this
decade, —from 1860 to 1870, —the num
ber of 47 establishments, South Carolina
grew from 1,230 to 1,584, or 354—0 r
about 25 per cent.
From 1860 to 1870 the growth..of manu
facturing capital in Georgia was over
three millions l of dollars. She stood
fourth in 1860 in extent of tliis capital,
being lead only by Kentucky, Virginia
and Tennessee. Georgia led both Ten
nessee a..d Virginia in her increase . f
"&*Fifal; Ten:essee e oTju-.ci g~7>: ly \i lit
tie over a million, whije Virginia feli off.
Georgia’s expansion in capital from 1860
to 1870 TvaL to $13,930,-
135, or in ex ct number, $3,039,260 or
nearly 33 per ce.~C North and South
Carolina fell off in this .decade i capo
tal.
Most renr-.rtcable results in the decade
of the war were ia the manufacturing
production. Georgia’s growth in pro
ducts of this sort was simply amazing.
Blit spi g from 516.925.564 to .$31.196,-
105, or the enormous sum (4 $14,270,541
—or 90 per cent. With only one-third
increase of manufacturing capital she
had nearly twice increase of p oducts.
With over 25 per cent, less capital than
Kentucky, she made almost as great an
increase of production. Georgia stood
fourth in extent of production in 1860,
but first in ratio of increase of produc
tion in the decade.
Coming on to the decade from 1870 to
1880 there are some curious aspects of
manufacturing progress. Georgia, like
nine of twelvo southern states, fell off in
the number of manufacturing establish
ments with a large increase of capital and
production, demonstrating that there
had been an enlargement in the size of
establishments. Georgia’s in number
was 262. South Carolina increased 404,...
and North Carolina 160. In increase of
capital, Georgia from 1870 to 1880 out
stripped all the southern -states except
Kentucky and Virginia, taking the hon
orable rank of third, passing Tennessee
handsomely. Georgia grew from $13,-
930,135 to $20,766,995 or the fine sum of
$6,836,760 in manufacturing capital.
South Carolina came up splendidly in
this decade, growing $5,805,476, and ab
solutely outstripping North Carolina in
its ratio of growth. Her growth of capi
tal was nearly 50 per cent.
Growth of manufacturing production
from 1870 to 1880, Georgia swell from
$31,196,105 to $41,173,811, or $9,966,-
33—or over 30 per cent.
There were in operation in the year
1880, 4,713 looms, 200,884 spindles, em
ploying 6,778 hands, and consuming 67,-
874 bales of cotton. Georgia jumped
from fourth to the third place in manu
facturing products.
Unfortunately the census of 1880 does
not give the full detail of manufactures.
The leading industries were flour mills,
carpentering, blacksmithing, lumber
and cotton manufacture; and in 1880, i
iron foundries, brick, tar, turpentine, tin, !
emokere and candy on a large scale. '
Since 1880 Georgia has been doing a
i phenomenally large business in lumber,
cotton, fertilizers and tar and turpentine.
Wo will take up tiie three (controlling
staples of manufacture in all the South
ern states —cotton, flour and lumber.
! Georgia leads overwhelmingly in cotto I
—doubling any single state. In 188 u
: she had 63 cotton factories, with a capi
' tal of $6,632,142, making a productio
of $7,295,356. That gallant little South
Carolina stood second, with a production
of $2,895,769. The whole capital in the
south in cotton manufacture was $17,782.
197, of which Georgia alone had over
one-third of tho products. North Caro
iu.a had live more establishments* but
made over 100 per cent, less product,
j Since 1880 Georgia has increased hei
cotton mill capital over six millions of
dollars, and in August, 1884, La*
i $13,000,000 invested in cotton m nufac
ture, and has nearly one-half of the
southern capital, and makes nearly one
j. half of the southern manufacturing prod
ucta. Her products will go to $14,000,-
! 000 annually with 70 mills, 7,843 looms,
! spindles, employing 10,000
nauds, and consuming 100,000 bales of
I cotton.
i From June Ist, 1880, to January Ist,
1884, Georgia incrented her looni9 from
4,713 to 7,813/ or 51*130; her spindles
from 200,974 to 310.13t£ u r 139,156.
1 Taking thb-.statistics.of-ilour milling,
the largest single subject of manufac
ture, running in the south to an aggre
gate of i567J09,465 of pPodneL, Georgia
i stands second—Virginia leading with
$12,649,276 of product -, and Georgia,
coming next w ith $11,232,029, yet beat
ing Virginia, in this, that with two mil
lions less capital she made nearly as
-much product. hod 4.132 flour
mills, working $3,103,918 capital, and
producticg $11,232,029 of products.
Georgia had the ‘ holier V>f producting
one-sixth ejrtho whole dtmr manufacture
of the south.
Coming now to lumber, we find that
the lumber production of the south and
in 18S0 to $36,323,248, and in this pow
tiful industry, a* in cotton manufacture,
Georgia Stood first, leading the section.
81 ie .had6ss lumber mills; being ex
ceeded in this respect of number by Vir
ginia, North Carolina, Tennessee and
Kentucky; but Georgia hud larger capi
tuLaud. more products,
Georgia is indeed the Empire state,
and in them is absolutely distancing her
Sisters.
SOCTUWBf BUSINESS PROSPERITY.
For the benefit of those who are apt to
take despondent view of the immediate
future of the south, we publish the fol
lowing deductions made by the Constitu
tion, from k stmrmiitg up of altxf its Ye-*"
ports and a general survey of the field:
“Ist. That an abundance, of food
crops, such as corn, wheat, oats, small
crops, grasses, etc. y has been made and
harvested, ad that the barns are full.
2d. That the, cot to i crop is short
from one fourth to one-third, owing to
the.drought now prevailing. . :
3d. That the trade outlook is good
and that fine and safe business may be
expected for the iiexttew months.
4lh. That the condition of the farm
ers has-steadily improved; that,they niv
rapidly .adopting the policy of.*aie**.g- t]ie
f >rm supplies o- the farm, aid are im
proving the co* ditioi: of their farms.
sth. Tlmt the towns and cities
throughout the state and adjoining states
are improving rapidly, and building up ,
as fist as could Vie expected.
And further it is said: “The prospect ;
is encouraging. It is true"'that cotton-is
short, perhaps, .-one-third, on ecouivt of j
the drought, but the food props are ex- i
ceptioiially abhudanf. T$ goes'■without |
saving that a peuple with pkmty to cat
are masters of the situation. Tlieii* ssife
ty is assured bsyoud all doubt.. /With a
surplus of food for man and beast we;
can stand a little financial depression. I
The contraction of the volume of traffic >
will do little substantial harm when plen
ty sits enthroned at every farmer’s fire- !
side.
The wisdom of diversified farming was
’•ever more .emphatically demonstrated
than during the season now 7 drawing to
a close. If our Lirmers-had gone in debt,
ay cl had placed themselves in a situation
where they would be compelled to buy
food and other supplies ncxf _ $priagpon
credit, the short cotton crop and the
stringency of the times, would prove fa
tal to thousands.
As it is, peace, plenty and prosperity
dominate the solid south. ”
It seems Incredible that at at this stage
of the campaign there :vtc Stall weakfcmind
ed, feeblc-souled wretches- whofhaye not
made up their minds which side to take
ih the light. We can understand" the out
and-out blaniac—the man who calls his
candidate a plumed knight and a spotless
hero and a brilliant statesman. There is
nothing strange or puzzling about that
man. Either he is lying-or else he is ar
fool. And we can understand the loyal
and conscientious republican, who
thinks, or thinks he thinks that by elect
ing a democratic president we shall give
the country over to. democratic damna
tion. HeTs honest, prejudiced and mis
led. But the conscienceless creature who
sits on the fence-and walthto 'see which is
to be the .winning .crowd, that lie may
join it—he is a marvel of contemptible
weakness. -
| It is now intimated Jhat [Mulligan has
in his possession letters from Candidate
St. John showing crrhclusively that the
latter once bit a piece <mt of a mince pie
that had received a hypodermic injection
of hard cider. Mdlligau. justly regards
this as the most important of all the let
ters in his custody and confidently be
lieves that its publication, which he will
procure in f> few days, will knock the
prohibition pretender several degrees high
er than the loftiest |ltitude attained by
the late Mr. Gilderoy’s kite.
We have heard a great deal about -t he
new Lyceum school of acting. There are
to be lectures on deportment, elocution,
passion delineation and such things. But
we have not heard whether there is toLe
a walking-track* for the development of
pedestrian ability in the actors. Neither
have we heard anything about spurring'
lessons. A great many actors have to
BpOT fbr a living. Neither have we heard
anything about a department for instruct
ing twenty-five-dollar-pcr-week actresses
how to wear thrce-hundred-dollar dresses.
There ought also to be a department
the prevention of skipping on the park of
managers,
It is no wonder that New York is such
a Wicked place, w hen It is $o near to Tlell
Gate.
BASK RAf.h.
The gm-;u , American gamy of base-ball \
; is progressive,and most players anv ag-;
’ gressivo—te ward, the umpire, when they,
are on. the.losing side. A paper speaking (
iof tha recont* game at Louisville says: 1
“A MdtropoUtan base runner was caught .
( and sifi upon by the Louisville catcher, j
- who touched him w ith the ball four feet
• from the honie base. The umpire decided j
' It not Out, and gave the runner the Tally. ]
Then the crowd self up a shout arid started ■
the umpire ” etc. .And Is this one of;
! rules of the' game*how—that a fiihiier J
; must be thrown down, ‘sat ' upon,' and |
, touched with the ball to put him diit?
We mtisl read lip a little ofteher oil the ;
rules of the game. That'Seems'to tie a’
, very foolish rule;' butr as “revolution? :
i never go backwardsit may be all right, j
j Buppose the runner i? n little fellow, and i
the catcher a • great big two hundred |
' polfndcr;- Tn-tlic -hasteand excitement- of i
> the moment he will not fee apt to lay the i
j little rturner down oarofnUy, and--sitclown i
on him gently,-as he would on a rheu- i
matic tehair, but on the contrary will j
. probably come down like a pile driver,!
j and likely enough knock the wind out of ■
, the exhausted runner so as to place hiraj
horse. Ov conflict. Can’t- see a particle of j
! sense in such a rule, which only tends to }
[prolong and brutalize the game. But
1 stop, perhaps wo have not got the mean
ing of the sentence. Maybe it means
touched him (the runner) four feet from i
tlieifiijs) home .base, which—no, there is j
no part of a man’s anatomy four feet from j
hisriiome. baseband the fact still remains J
that ho was.sat Upon._ The next congress j
of ball players should have this rule.
stricken out.
GHQKGH BAGfO\Y CC>TT.
The uncTersign’bd of the Cartcrsrilltrbar
and county officer 5 ?, with pleasure'endorse
lion.. J. C. Fain, judge of the Cherokee j
JZ\ rep it, as' "a fa f fitful officer aud-upright
judge, possessing ability,'and indefatigable j
the discharge'Of dirty . Hi? gentlemanly'
bearing, his impartiality and upright do--;
meaner, has won for him the fullest conli-1
denqe of the people and bar of this county.:
Ilis re-election will give our people and j
this bar general satisfaction. In addition" |
to this, Judge Fain has * familiarized !
himself with the business or this" circuit i
and more especially of Bartow' county,'
that liif; continuance as judge, \\ ill' enable
the court' to dispose"of its business'' ‘Cxpe-
Mitionsly and bring relief to the tax’pavers
and litigants. A\ r e ask his re-election '•
‘.f. :Tr Conner, W. J. Neel, T. Warren Akim
Neel, T. W Milner, T. M. BniitTi,
Atfawaiy & Johnson, '.T. A: Baker, J. M-
Moon,-J. ik.WMe, A, AY. Fite, A. S'!
Johnson, Douglas Wilde, W. M. Ryake 1
A. M. Foute, M. R. Stausell, A. P. Wof- j
ford, r] W. Murphy, F. M. Durham, clerk
superior court :-A. M. Franklin, deputy
sheriff;!J. A. Gladden, sheriff; J. A. How-,
ard, ordinary.- - • • ... A...
-nt* .* c - *g
GOOD ACTING.
The energetic hissing' nightly accorded'
to the heavy 1 villam' iii the melodrama
now running at tire 'Baldwin,' says'a'
Nevadd paper, reminds, uld. residents .of.
the first theatrical performance over given
in Virginia City. Most of the miners had.
notrseeti a play for a score of years,and.
when the Johnstones Troupe opened, in.
“Othello,” the house- presented a packed
mass of red shirts. The then little famous i
' Edwin-Booth was the lago, and so faith
fully did he portray the traitorous friend
that the audience lost control of itself,
’ and in the second act began' shooting "at
the fell conspirator. One shot struck
; sword hilt, and all hands had to
j lie down on the stage and roll off into the
wings. The indignant miners were fi
, nally quieted, arid the play proceeded
! with, but the final tragic denouementAv as
| so taken to heart by the spectators tliat
j Booth remained in the theatre ail: night
| for fear of the vigilantes, who talked
I seriously of lynching the “cold-blooded
i cuss” off hand.
It may be as Mr. Dana says, that he is
not opposing Cleveland on account ot the.
latteEs refusal to ftp point a relative of Mr.
Dana on his staff, but, nevertheless, the
next democratic governor of New York
will probably inquire if Mr. Dana has any
relative' who 'would accept such a posi
tion. No pronounced republican paper
has given Cleveland as many and as vi
cious digs*as has the Sain . A
There is something awfully mysterious
about this American Alliance. • It is a sort
of sleeping-volcano -as it were, and if the
friends \of it are to be believed, we are
going to wake up on‘November-sth to
discover the old political parties blown all
to hinder. ml the American Eagle and
victory' perched together on the standard
of this queer ignis fdt >ms. .The national
committee claim a membership of 500,000
, of their oath-bound secret conclavers, and
i they expect with these, and those who
will join the car of victory, to carry' all
j the doubtful states, anti elect fheir* candi
| date. The car Of victory has not. 1 started
i vet, there is a spoke out of the wheel some
where—but there seems to be no reason
! to question the fact that some kind of a
political volcano is getting ripe,
Logan and liis troupe arc still marching
on, and making Buffalo Bill enviously
j. the ovations ' received.
! Tfan Qua, the p'eqlthicst man ip. the
! fc> rld, ih said tft‘ hsvtf A"thltfoft 1 fSetT*
Even fiie wealthiest have, their. m4fpr :
tunes.
1 L' 11 1 - •> ■
What bothers Yd r. Blainq Is
that the blamed wind shifts £p. No. fellow
can tell which way to cast ananchor.with
Boreas so uncertain.
nnFi.
m .. ..
i . ‘•Poms*nr f tty m.Adeti, ijCtnewttli iov.”
“Why shoald 1 come, good ewy
.'•.Why, I’m a euachmau, uunty and tou*.”
• l Aii, lieu, aetties it. riLcctnc with yenu”
A daril£ ythtog 'dude iu Botcbeigb, •
Xtsajed on thccarnt to ploigh.
He nude such a din
That ceighbora dropped iu,.
And the <Jude dam the goltieu etnirweigh.
I tell you Vvlmt it
As surd as I’m an old *
Ami s*nsonvd weather proj.he',-
This winter will bo etld.
I lmow it just as well
As anything cn earth,
Add on it 1 would wager
Each ducat that I’m worth.
This morning as I came
Across tile ashen len,
I saw the spotted piglets
AH roosting iu a tree.
1 say thd snnCsh play
Andfrolic oa the-hill,
I gaw the Shanghsi rooster
Swim, round the meadow rill.
I saw the Durham btrll
Into lire-garden walk,*
And pick h’s wisdom teeth
With a ;ading lily-staljv.
All these are dead-3Ure signs
That Tviirter will be cold—
For years they have proved tralhfni—
For years, uud 1 am old.
So, friends, you’d better save,
And waste no legal notes;
For soon yon’ll all be needing
Fur caps and .overcoats.
Hampered by circumstance?—tho picnic
Perhaps Hie prohibitionist? think they
can win by watering: the vote.
Fall overcoats are now ripe, and ready
to be plucked in -the pawn-shops.
It seems strangr;-that no- policeman has
yet written a work on club-swinging.
Why ‘s’ it rat i‘n aTnirk'ef like a member
of the. true church? BecHUsd he'is Inside
the.p.ail. •• - • *
- - Belva bangs ’ONvay 'aflier opponents’' po
sitions but she'dohS* not seem to be' wear
ing any'breeches. ' x “ •*"
About this'time {fie young man is re
penting of the engagement he rashly en
tered into during the summer months.
The best way to trim a lamp, Elfrida, is
with Escurial lace, if you care for the
vagaries of fish on.
“Yf -said the victim, holding up a
hand containing two fingers and a half a
thumb: “I ikon keyed with tha buzz-saw
—-=•*■ AuUivu n ell.
this is the time that the Italian puts
his organ arid monkey in pawn for the
winter, ancf takes out the plain gold ear
rings which he Wears out of respect to his
superstitutions, while keeping a chestnut
stand on the street-corner.
An exchange says that Mr. Philip Gil
bert lie inert on’s “Human Intercourse” is
nearly finished. We arc sorry to hear it.
We do not know whether Mr. Ildmerton
is going to give up*the ghost, or retire into
the secrecy-of solitary confinement for
life; but we are sorry 5 just tlte-same.- ■•■•’ u
The gas company may charge you for'
the'gas you didn’t use during your' ab
sence at the seashore in July, but the ice
man can’t play the same game. The mis
take the iceman makes .is- not having a
meter instead ofscales. If will be a cold
day when the gas company sells you gas
by weight, . .. ,
One rainy day recentlyan old lady hailed
a New Haven horse-car on one of the
muddy streets in that city, when the gen
tlemanly conductor stopped his car where
there is usually a- dry- crosswalk; and the
old lady stepped up on the platform, walk
ed across and then stepped down the oth
er; remarking,* as she did so, that “she
didn’t know What she should have done if
it had.not been for the car.”
Mr. Clapney, the humorist, goes to a
minstrel show, and with indignation hears
the brilliant end-man “getting off” his
own jokes. He is not inconsolable, and
has just decided that the minstrel has
paid him a compliment, when he hears a
lady w hisper: “There sits that stupid fel
low, Claprfdy. He’s straining his ears to
steal that end-maii’s jokes. That's the
w T ay such fellows fill up their papers.”
“Half-Hours with the Poets” may be a
very interesting* work", but we don’t ask
as much time as that. We don’t want j
more than five" minutes after we get on
our gaffs,*heatfy brass Boots and iron
gloves, and a solid death-hold on the
poet. If we"dent 'Stop* the poet in that
time, we will buy his poem.
David Davis says that when he settled ,
in Illinois he found that a large majority
of the clever lawyers w ere hard drinkers
and gamblers. ‘David swore off at once,
and attributed to this his outliving many
cleverer men. It would Bea good Scherm
for David to'come To New'York and 66-
eerve the political-methods of this city.
It doesq’t hill them here, David. * Wish it
did; but it doesn’t -
A professor, to illustrate the immense
distance to the'su n , says- “If a child’s arm
were long enough to touch the sun, and ;
its fingers'were bufifed, the infant would j
have to be a man of over a hundred be- j
fore it knew tnatits fingers were burned.” ■
The child would be willing to watt that
long -without doubt,-especially-in consid- j
mat ion of- possessing a reach like that, i
But tlien, suchqi length of arm-as that is a
disadvantage- even to a child. If -pain at
its velocity, -of travel would be all -that
time going the. length of tbla boy’s -arm, a
'handful of _plum-jam would • not reach
jhis mouth until ha was nearly three bun
ded years old,, and. likely enough by that
tjflae„his fondness for plum-jam would be
... •- -
N EMBER 2b.
“rOLITir A L NOftes ~
j ClOMf! Shoulder to fh',ldorl
As the loug parade merrs-by,
Befrrrwr-nrvtbrre weeks older “ —J ■
Corimprtmi-l JocMc(i to-dlor- •
The torches flicker ami gleam... . j
On lilt* a mum n bt eczrmwthey stream,
j Andovertlw Hutu tie ritnj cheer-•
] A riiufs.sUH-tly (AVe
Ot ike vk*v>rr at t-*oa~. ... ..
We'll b) ing you oner
To Orv CtT, to (irUMT,
lie/ore the campaign i# done!
Who is there hpritathur v “ 1 “ '
HiMwlxt the Wrong *nd the Right 1*
Who la tliarc fa 111. debating
Which fide to taheAn rhe tight?
•II such there be emne,
Ami sihofe theetdl ot the drum,
FBar 36 wn march ...... *
The jubilant of jUt of Qt fipng: .... .
Like lire through your .arteries run— #
We'll briny yott-ogrr
To etHW, *•. .. . .mi
the camping n> is (tone!
Over! Irotri cVriflktrsliOubt-
To the mutt\vira Will tTcrfr rtie rflritJ''
Ot the rframetl'.at Isputbiptm her -
By the politician VtmuL
Over! from Wrong to 'Right; '
•veH frbtu Black-to White;
Over! from all that’s mean 1 >
- fo Honesty •itnple sod cleaq. - >, —
-’Tis the song of, the rising &un--
|.. . We'U bring you over
To Grover, to Grove >,
Tie fore the ewrrpmyn isdoile!
It's ho use. Brother Dana cannot make
a mountain out of Butler’s mole hill.
The presidential perfiiiunon hangs too
itigh this year for the republican pole.
Speak gently to .the candidate. You
don't know who will be elected these
days.
There are banner raisings every day,
but none for Belva. Why this invidious
distinction-? *
All the presidential candidates cannot
be elected j but they tan all take a tour,
every stage of which is supposed to en
chain the attention of an enthusiastic
nation.
A great many persons in Ohio, insisting
that they want to shake hands with the
next president, shake hands with Mr.
Blaine. Probably this is the most curi
ous case' of mistaken identity on record.
Somebody is said to have fired a shot at
Mr. St. John through a railway carriage
window. Please remember the notice
that was posted over a pianist in a Den
vet concert saloon: “Don’t shoot him; he
is doing the best he can.” a ,.
The presidential candidates are serious
ly thinking of giving some river excavator
the job of hauling raud off of them. The
contract will be let by the ton. Of couxto
Where the mud doesn’t stick hard, the job
will be easier and cheaper.
The south needs. cheaper machinery
and free jaw material. Given these by. a
revision and reform of the tariff, all sho
will then ask will be the opon markets of
the world. For, with ..an ..unobstructed
passage to these, she can meet and beat
-every competitor, inctudrng'Olcf-Erigtand
and NevrF.nginnd. ~ w * " “
The New York Sun and a number of
other Blaine papers have repeatedly sta
i ted that Governor Cleveland, while sher
iff, hanged two murderers With his own
hand. On tlie testimony of Deputy Sher
iff M. T. Lynch; of Buffalo, who served
with -CtevoTatfd When the latter was Sher
iff, Cleveland did nothing of the kind. Mr.
Lynch says: “It is a lie out of -the whole
doth. , The hanging was-done by Jake
Eureche, who has done all that kind of
r work for- thirty years-. I- helped carry
j 0 a fine}' to thegallows myself.”
' John A. Logan, republican candidate ’
. for Vice-President, wliiie making a speech
1 lately, was interrupted by a man who
j accused him of raising a rebel flag during
i the war. The illustrious Warrior caadi
| dado used some Loganic language and
] spit in the man’s fate. The Whyo gang
| of New York toughs should nominate and
j elect Logan as their President. The sen
| ate chair is no place for such a genius,
j “I am Logan, I’m a war-horse, nay record are
on hand,;
Pm a spider and a fitter, and I’m chock ftfl ttp
with sand, •
I have writ my patent noble with a sword of
sixty-one,
Vud tin* m in \vh it said I tailed a rebel fl-tg is
. —— oudacuias son oi a gun ”
What lias Ohio done?. Well, after such
a fight as had never been fought in that
state before, after Brag and Bluster and
Corruption had done their best —or worst
—after the republican candidate had de
scended to the shameless shift of a per
; sonal canvass—after all this had brought
; out a full vote, Ohio goes republican by a
meagre majority of ten thousand. That
is, she elects local officers of good repute
by a small majority; and the majority ia
small, simply because there was a strong
.feeling that thG election of these honest
officials in some way gave countenance
to the claims- of the dishonest ex-offiial
who is at the- head of the republican na
tional ticket. There is very little in the
result of the Ohio elections to cheer the
I minting spirit of the weakling. There
j will be still less encouragement for him m ~
; the weeks to come. 4 And when it dawns'
i bn his doubtful brain that success hovers*
over the banner of Clevland, the place
, that knew-him once as a Blaine man will
• know him no more. He and his fellows
will stampede like the wild asses of the
! desert. They will come into our camp.
We do not need them to win the fight; but
their defection from the Blaine ranks will
I serve to kill the one strong blaniac argu
ment—that corruption is popular in the
United States. _
A legal jyitffiywcfij-BlMMibriit-g